How to Talk About Suicidal Thoughts: Simple Strategies for Parents and Friends

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Are you worried that someone you care about is having suicidal thoughts? Do you know what to say to them?
This video provides resources for suicide prevention, information on where you can get personalized support, and info about the risk factors for suicide and warning factors. And it provides parents with what to say and what not to say to a child who tells them that they are feeling suicidal.
If you're worried that a loved one may engage in self-harm or if you just need to know the options as far as crisis hotlines go, this video will walk you through how to help the person you care about get the help they need and get feeling better.
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Therapy in a Nutshell, LLC, and the information provided by Emma McAdam are solely intended for informational and entertainment purposes and are not a substitute for advice, diagnosis, or treatment regarding medical or mental health conditions. Although Emma McAdam is a licensed marriage and family therapist, the views expressed on this site or any related content should not be taken for medical or psychiatric advice. Always consult your physician before making any decisions related to your physical or mental health.
About Me:
I’m Emma McAdam. I’m a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, and I have worked in various settings of change and growth since 2004. My experience includes juvenile corrections, adventure therapy programs, wilderness therapy programs, an eating disorder treatment center, a residential treatment center, and I currently work in an outpatient therapy clinic.
In therapy I use a combination of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, Systems Theory, positive psychology, and a bio-psycho-social approach to treating mental illness and other challenges we all face in life. The ideas from my videos are frequently adapted from multiple sources. Many of them come from Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, especially the work of Steven Hayes, Jason Luoma, and Russ Harris. The sections on stress and the mind-body connection derive from the work of Stephen Porges (the Polyvagal theory), Peter Levine (Somatic Experiencing) Francine Shapiro (EMDR), and Bessel Van Der Kolk. I also rely heavily on the work of the Arbinger institute for my overall understanding of our ability to choose our life's direction.
And deeper than all of that, the Gospel of Jesus Christ orients my personal worldview and sense of security, peace, hope, and love www.churchofjesuschrist.org/c...
If you are in crisis, please contact the National Suicide Prevention Hotline at suicidepreventionlifeline.org/ or 1-800-273-TALK (8255) or your local emergency services.
Copyright Therapy in a Nutshell, LLC
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[@peponwi2716]

Something I would like to say as a person who has been depressed and suicidal: For me it was so important to be able to just talk about my very dark and twisted thoughts without the other person starting to escalate the situation or push me to go to ER etc. The fact that someone was just there, listening to me without getting scared or panicked or irritated or angry or dismissive was absolutely mind boggling and reduced my suicidal thoughts exponentally. Like "hey, I'm actually not a horrible freak and there is room in this world for these difficult feelings". It was rare to get this even from professionals, since most of them just wanted to go through the mandatory questions and push me to the next person in line, as in "well I asked the questions so no one can blame me if something happens". Although safety planning and encouragement to seek help are important, I feel like if your hand is automatically on the emergency button whenever someone mentions suicide you might discourage the person from opening up and the very vital connection might stop from forming.

[@happythoughts3423]

I’ve got no money, no car, hardly any food, and don’t know how long I can stay in this place. Just done with everything 😔

[@jrmwashere]

I use to hear kids talk about being suicidal when I was in junior high. I figured they just wanted attention. Age, life experience, and time in the mental health industry have taught me differently. This video helps answer questions on how to approach someone talking about suicide, whether you think they are joking or not. These simple skills can save lives and help express to someone experiencing suicidality that you truly care.

[@boycebutler7191]

Easy for you to say. I get put on a stupid waiting list. I have mental health problems. To me help is not there.

[@klattalexis]

Dr. Bernie Siegel once said, "Talk is the kiss of life".

[@pleqsa]

I have a friend and she means so much to me and I don’t want to lose her

[@HUGEFLYINGWHALE]

I find it very hard to believe most suicides are spontaneous. Many people spend months and years in different levels of ambivalence towards life. Many cant find the courage to end it. Its very common in chronic pain communities for example

[@stan-qf3dk]

I think she meant to say that most suicide attempts (not the ideation and planning) are done when the symptoms are acute rather than chronic.

[@cherylwilsherlimberlife7210]

The thoughts come from a trauma response too, the shutdown response.. :(

[@yvonnew416]

This phrase....get help....is it really helpful? I finally got my daughter to see a psychotherapist and a psychiatrist but she is still going in circles or even spiraling down further into darkness and pain. When I tell the therapist about increased suicidal ideations she says due to confidentiality she cannot talk to me ( my daughter is a young adult) , if I am concerned talk to her dr, who then says if concerned take her to an emergency setting.... my daughter has so many up and downs, she only wants to discontinue therapy, stopped her medication, says her life is over and that she is leaving or wants to research how to kill herself. What do we do? Her self hate and hate towards us is such a dead end. Oh I forgot ...the therapist said tell the dr, the dr said take her to emergency setting... like every day? Btw we do not live in a country with a well developed mental health care system

[@jolemieke007]

It sounds like her current therapist is not a good fit for her. I went through a LOT of therapists before I found the right one for me. If it's possible, try to help her find a different therapist.

[@juliawilkinson]

I’d consider transcranial magnetic stimulation for her, or ketamine therapy. I wish I’d known more about those when my son was alive. ❤

[@bonniecasner8886]

Thank you Emma! I am a mental health nurse and used this video as a teaching aide for a small group of people. Today is World Suicide Prevention Day. We all found your video very helpful, practical, inspiring and empowering! Many thanks for a job well done!

[@homelessballoon]

I work with people who suffer and have suicidal thoughts, and my impression is that most of them had traumatic experiences in their childhood and youth. They grew up in families with psychological abuse and in many cases also sexual abuse. I can’t count how many kids have been told that they are worthless, that they are bad persons with no value and that they deserve to suffer. Religious families where they are forced to obey rules (like denying their sexual orientation) and beliefs they don’t share, is another reason. I was therefore surprised to see the statistics (Contributing Factors) you share in your video. Apart from this, your thoughts and advice are very much in harmony with my own experiences.

[@halliewillhite5475]

I have a friend who does this and I don't want to lose her

[@halliewillhite5475]

I really think my friends are going through it worst then I though bc she started cutting and never told me and then went through it again so every day is the same

[@halliewillhite5475]

😭🥺

[@zarahim9072]

@@halliewillhite5475 oh man, that must be tough! God help u!

[@juicee828]

Hallie Willhite is she ok now?

[@EzequielMartin55vf]

@@halliewillhite5475 I cut too and punch my head.

[@Teach.Experience.Dance-Vicky]

My experience is that you DO tell people but people don’t hear you You say , I feel abandoned , I feel ashamed, I feel sadn, o feel lonely, I am so grateful you came , I feel like I can’t stop crying , I feel lost - I feel really fragile right now. Etc etc But people don’t get it What else do they want us to say ? - I feel suicidal ? Never gonna happen

[@a-yeong3055]

I feel guilty for what awful things I’ve done to my family this is the reason.

[@TherapyinaNutshell]

make amends take action to help, apologize without any expectations. See a therapist. Maybe your thinking is distorted, maybe you're not as awful as you think

[@jamiehackney5619]

I struggle with these thoughts, too. I know what my husband has had to deal with and I feel like talking to him about it puts him in an even worse place. But when I finally did tell him some of my darkest thoughts and struggles, his response was overwhelmingly just what I needed. If you approach it has honestly as you can, your family will understand. Took my husband a good 15 minutes to come to me after I talked about it so give it time if the first few tries haven’t worked. Always try again. I know it’s been 2 years since you posted this but just in case you haven’t said anything yet, I hope this encourages you to do so 🙏🏻💜 also I see you’re a BTS ARMY 🥰💜💜 same.

[@silencedxdesire]

I think about it all day. I’ve been thinking about it for months. Life is pointless.

[@Riley-rm1yz]

Hi, please don’t do it. I would suggest looking into law of attraction and manifestation (if you haven’t already) . Though I obviously don’t know you, but your life is not pointless. And you are light to others, you may not see it now. But, the universe cares. Your friends and family care. Heck, even I care. Again, I would suggest replacing every negative thought you have with a positive thought. For example, I would used to say “nobody likes me and I’m a burden to others” I would replace it with “I bring light and joy to others and my life is full worth abundance and positivity”. This is what really helped with me and I hope it helps with you. Again you are loved, have a goodnight or day😊 (sorry if my wording is weird lol)

[@rahelacosma2807]

Hi,Anya! I don't know what is the problem in your life that makes you think about this, but I am so sorry for everything that happened to you! It's not your fault and you deserve to be happy. There is hope. There are better days coming. I live near someone who has suicidal thoughts and it's so so hard to even think about their sufference and I wouldn't be able to live anymore if something happened to her. I'm sure there are people in your life who love you so much! Don't give up! You can do it, I believe in you even tho I don't even know you. Keep going, even tho you can't see the light right now. God loves you so much and so do I❤

[@thebettafish3239]

I understand, sometimes it just feels like it doesn't make any sense. You can't tell someone about how happy you can be, when the problem isn't sadness, but rather a feeling of emptiness... Everyone thinks a suicidal person is depressed or sad. What if there just isn't any meaning behind it? It's not "Why am I unhappy?". It's "What is the point of being happy?". I also felt that...

[@shakilmirza4368]

I don't know you, but you're loved. You're so much more than you're problems.

[@boycebutler7191]

I'm going through this right now. I've already prepped for that time to come. People and home life is tiring me out. I have mental health issues. PTSD, non military, depression, and bipolar. I lived a long time of being abused everyday in my younger life. This shit takes a toll on you.

[@thesalonicacastro4305]

I have a boyfriend who's been doing this and the most heartbreaking is, we're ldr. 💔😭 I don't want to lose him.

[@Mattyloo1]

Wish i wasnt feeling like this

[@alexicordeiro-beaupre2415]

Im going through the exact same thing... can we get in touch?

[@deadhyna222]

Me too girl it’s the saddest shit to see your boyfriend not want to live anymore:(💔

[@Mattyloo1]

@@alexicordeiro-beaupre2415 how are you

[@alexicordeiro-beaupre2415]

@@Mattyloo1 I'm fine but always worried about her. She went to a hospital and did amazing progress! Now that shes bavk home, she's self harming again...

[@littlelulu4107]

yes empathic listening would help...abusive words and non verbal negative cues from others are enough to put someone over the edge....professionals need to learn this lesson as well as they can take away the only hope that is left

[@TherapyinaNutshell]

Agreed, I recently attended a conference where one the the big take-aways for me was how even therapists get anxious when the subject of suicide is brought up, and respond in a tense way. Focusing more on fixing it than on listening and understanding first.

[@Bob-B-.]

My twin brother completed his suicide attempt after I refused to let him be my roommate after his recent suicide attempt 😔

[@artsism4482]

I can here as a suicidal person.. Today was my last straw my mom keeps comparing me to others.

[@AddisonRachel]

Hey that sounds really rough. How are you holding up now?

[@iamnotok_]

hey love, are you alright? 🤍 i just wanted to let you know that i'm here for you

[@artsism4482]

@@iamnotok_ Hiya , this comment was a good few months ago and I’m happy to tell you I’m doing much better ! 😊

[@iamnotok_]

@@artsism4482 OMG AHH I'M SO GLAD TO HEAR THAT 😭

[@thebettafish3239]

@@artsism4482 How are you doing now?

[@anaya3148]

So much harder when it’s a online friend

[@K-A5]

5:35 (personal timestamp) helpful things to say

[@jodytahoe4242]

I'm not so sure it's mostly impulse. Alot of us make plans. You know like doing it when no ones home. Writing notes.

[@wilberalexander5454]

Thank you

[@AlejandroHernandez-rd2fr]

my mom always dismisses me

[@healcptsd6467]

I've been thinking about it for years

[@tianassar4625]

are you okay

[@poetcomic1]

A hospice nurse in England says that her patients can have three or more episodes of suicidal ideation but come out of it. Many of these endure a lot of pain and difficulty and reach the priceless gift of making some sort of peace with their dying. Euthanasia is a great cheerleader for suicide, even among people in Europe and elsewhere.

[@sleepyren1736]

... Listed this tonight the night of my Girlfriend suicide... I was fucking to late to help her. I'm sorry so sorry Omari. Please take immediate action if you think someone is having those thoughts or it could be to late so please act as fast as you can. You might save a life.

[@midtaku5379]

I had a long convo with with my friend a few hours ago.. I told my friend first if it is fine with me telling my parents about this, but I was told that it will make it worse and told me to keep it a secret. After this video im still debating it to myself if I will tell my parents or not.

[@midtaku5379]

@JustTheOne:D awww, good luck then on telling your parents about the situation. I hope the situation gets better for you and your friend!

[@blueotter5954]

Please teach me, I want to save my remaining friends

[@BEACHDUDE71]

I have thoughts and a plan, sometimes it's the only choice

[@Anotherhumanexisting]

Same. Sometimes the damage done from genetics, a bad childhood, and environment is too much imo… 8 years of medication, therapy, treatment and still more miserable each year. I wish there was an easier way out.

[@rschmuck1]

We are taught not to stop say "committed suicide" as it is a negative term. We are taught to say, they died by suicide.

[@siiiriously3226]

well, what about ALL the people i have personally talked to who were admitted for being suicidal, and it just added more trauma on top to the trauma they already had before?! so many people did find being involuntariy admitted not only not helpful, but even harmful, even if it might in the short run have kept them killing themselves...

[@SatishKumar-ve3oi]

it was so hard for me to open up to my counselor to made her know that i think about suicide, but she haven't helped me with anything. I realized that i have ability to change, i even let her know this. i feel even more hopeless.

[@b.ishakur]

Thank you you help a lot

[@catnip4785]

Can you do a video on how to help someone from a long distance?? Please? My friend keeps trying to kill himself, and there isn't much that I can do from far away. That I know of.

[@azeemnawaz5531]

Nice

[@johnnysilva8822]

I am along , what is the main thing to be in life.

[@INFINITESYKOSIS]

I remember telling somebody about being suicidal and they basically just called me a coward😆

[@FatiMa-wg8oo]

I attempted suicide..I just want them to understand me,but it ended up calling me crazy...

[@tianassar4625]

Are you okay?

[@nidhie3039]

How r u now ?

[@sarahgaib9162]

I just need someone to talk to n feel comfortable with this because I am a bit shy I always feel embarrassed after talking

[@dancingmacabre9976]

i have discord n instagram if you need anyone to talk to

[@sarahgaib9162]

@@dancingmacabre9976 awwe thank u so much, actually I'm so much butter right now Again I appreciate you, what's ur IG?

[@dancingmacabre9976]

@@sarahgaib9162 my insta is m1ntmx (: i'm glad you're doing better and i'm here for you if you ever need to talk!

[@sarahgaib9162]

@@dancingmacabre9976 Thanks ♥️ My IG is sarahfgaib4 You too if u need someone to talk bcuz ur a bit loopy just dm me,how did u join to this video?

[@dancingmacabre9976]

​@@sarahgaib9162 thank you

[@thundercreekriders5042]

I have a question if you make a mistake and say something wrong over text and that person commits suicide, can you get charged with something.

[@faith-ye8ki]

In the dance of dawn's first light, Where shadows flee from the sight, There lies a whisper, soft and sweet, Be happy, for joy's own beat. Amidst the tumult, find your peace, Let worries fade, let fears release. In laughter's echo, find your tune, Embrace the day beneath the moon. For happiness, a gentle breeze, That rustles through the forest trees, It sings of dreams and hopes untold, In every heart, a story to unfold. Chase the rainbow after rain, Let go of sorrow, embrace the gain. In each moment, find delight, In the darkest hour, seek the light. Like petals dancing in the breeze, Be happy, for life's mysteries seize. In love's embrace, in friendship's glow, Let happiness bloom, let it grow. So raise your voice in jubilee, Let joy resound, let spirits free. For in the journey, you shall find, The key to happiness, within your mind.

[@PrinzipienMeister]

No longer offering the coupon?

[@negene1]

YOHANAN(JOHN/JUAN) 14:6 "I AM THE WAY AND THE TRUTH AND THE LIFE. NO ONE COMES TO THE FATHER EXCEPT THROUGH ME" "YO SOY EL CAMINO Y LA VERDAD Y LA VIDA. NADIE VIENE AL PADRE SINO POR MI"........

[@emilykokay557]

We have a friend on suicide watch and he doesn't know we know.... Kind of lost on what we can do

[@Aro2220]

They made suicide difficult and so I had to live a long miserable life.

[@evamaria3636]

literally

[@Anotherhumanexisting]

This is my fear. I would much rather “die young” than live a long and miserable life…

[@madisonfax9903]

I have been suicide thoughts in my head and I can't get them out of my head. I been in lots of hospital s.

[@British_manndem]

I love how this entire comment section is dealing whit a partner or loved one with suicidal thoughts probably the most united comment section ever 🙃

[@lorrainel9910]

My only brother committed suicide. It has taken me a very long time to handle the pain and anguish that it has taken on myself & my family. Now my only child my daughter who is grown is very suicidal, I need any advice. I cannot go through this again!

[@afshanmirza8446]

you arent alone..pleasedont do anything to yourself like that it will not help your family or anyone close to you honey, i understand the impact of your brothers death must have hurt you deeply but love its not the end love your family needs you, people need you out there, you dunno the beautiful impact you could have on someones elses life, your brother would not want that for you honey. please speak to your family about this and always remember you arent alone. we all in this for you, you are a really strong person please live for the beautiful moments you will create in life. you need to live and live fully and live for your brother too.

[@user-om4ey5lb3c]

you don't have to grief because he's in a better place

[@jamiehackney5619]

What if the money involved in getting help is an issue?

[@Redbelt0610]

I dn't think 911 or 999 handle it well as they take that person lock them in a cell taking everything that could be a risk I seen people go through that and that just going make them feel worst. They should take way stuff that could be use but not at stuff that lose them there dignity instead try seeing what causing it then do something to make them feel better. How would you feel if your stripe of you clothes and rights and put in a cell?

[@jamal8012]

i just want a fricking video on how to do it whats so fucking hard.

[@Ingrid0410]

My son is suicidal today what do I do?

[@itz_emzy8247]

My best friend Baylee her peer mentor (Kinda like a tutor) Her name was Angel and she was the best me and Baylee we’re in 3rd grade and Angel was in 6th and now I’m in 6th grade but Angel she hung her self in 5th grade 😔 Angel was the best 💔

[@TherapyinaNutshell]

I'm so sorry to hear that...

[@itz_emzy8247]

Therapy in a Nutshell it’s ok :) 👌🏻

[@halliewillhite5475]

That is like my friend she wants to die 😭😭😭

[@tariqkamal6141]

I did it twice, talk no talk didn't work , My own experience I didn't remember what I was thinking that time but one thing sure I was not listening

[@tianassar4625]

What would you recommend

[@suziq900]

What if you sit down and try to be rational but it turns into a fight?I am at my wits end! I would rather be dead right now than suffer through another minute of narcissistic gaslighting on his behalf. His father and very very close uncle (dad’s brother) committed suicide. Now I pay the consequences deeply. I am no angel by any means and I love my son greatly. I’ve been taking care of him, hand and foot for 27 years buying supporting feeding him, ect. He sits on the computer 24/7 and won’t even unplug his own shitty clogged toilet that he caused. It’s mf weird. I walk on eggshells in fear every day he’ll do the same, try to help but won’t talk. He wants to pounce me. I’m scared and fed up. I need some help please, I’m begging! I have very little resources bc of small town, won’t travel with me or see dr, not alone medication. He’s always sad but won’t help himself either. PLEASE HELP ME PEEPS ILL DO ANYTHING, PAY ALSO!

[@jenzentong8942]

I don’t have someone to talk to

[@rando3852]

Same

[@makeelaconley6971]

Me either

[@thesalonicacastro4305]

How can I help? 💖

[@FV0055]

I'm too shy to talk to a doctor

[@EzequielMartin55vf]

Same.

[@meech4208]

i have no one to talk to my family doesnt listen to me and i feel like my mom hates me on loves her other 2 kids

[@tianassar4625]

Are you okay

[@doreen1289]

Rip, my son Tanner, 28

[@zbyrd85]

Every day feels like Russian roulette

[@XxShade_FrostxX]

How to trick my friends and family to watch this video.

[@elexdilon8642]

i have a girlfriend who is saying she is suicidal and im scared idk what to do i talked to her and she says shes gonna try not to commit but im still scared i want to tell the school or someone but i dont know what the best decision is she told me "So if I drink random pills like every hour is that bad Easier way to go To heaven That or I can starve my self" that scared me alot and i was gonna call somone but i dont know what to do

[@missbhanu1072]

I'm also suffering from the same prblm.. I also wanna end my life.. but you know what you can talk to her about her problems and help her, that's the least you can do......And I think it'll definitely work...😄

[@doreen1289]

Is adhd a risk?

[@user-zy1vp2sw9c]

We are a society where there are very very very few guns (Estonia). And we have one of the highest suicide rates at least in Europe if not the entire world.

[@pohyokelo]

Good idea. I should get rid of my things to reduce burden on my family. Thank you for the idea / tip.

[@SEYSHIN7]

i wish somebody could really help me

[@Rockabillyman26]

I have depression I feel like nobody cares if I died.

[@rustyoldcar7040]

There will always be one person who loves you.

[@Rockabillyman26]

@@rustyoldcar7040 nobody loves me

[@rustyoldcar7040]

@@Rockabillyman26 Its impossible for everyone 2 dislike you. I'm 100% sure someone loves you.

[@rustyoldcar7040]

@@Rockabillyman26 stay strong soldier

[@Rockabillyman26]

@@rustyoldcar7040 I wish

[@dahwilliams6070]

Help..... Please ...

[@thebettafish3239]

I'm here to listen, if you need!

[@margrose5]

I’m despondent and feeling hopeless. This video will not be helpful for me.

[@JohnM...]

People who talk about committing suicide are the ones who are not going to do it. The ones who don't talk about it WILL do it. I wanted to kill myself, but I'm ashamed to say I'm too much of a coward. Not because I think anyone would miss me, but because I'll even FAIL at killing myself, which is the ULTIMATE in failure.

[@TherapyinaNutshell]

Some people who talk about suicide do end up killing themselves, and there are many who suffer in silence. You would be missed by more people than you realize, but also I believe you have something important to do in this life, a purpose greater that will help you overcome the pain you're feeling.

[@Teach.Experience.Dance-Vicky]

@@aprender_espanol_con_videos why are you so angry b?

[@Teach.Experience.Dance-Vicky]

The things that tip me over the edge are people like you who make people feel shamed for shit they say when the feel suicidal

[@health124.]

I feel shame to say what made me search for this video 😢

[@Ryan47.]

Tylenol really?

[@claudyjanvier1455]

But I don't have nobody who care about me. today is my last day . I just move to another place to get a job but I can't wat to get the job because I don't have money to pay the room hotel . so I am not going to steal , beg, or sleep on the street. I will kill myself if God doesn't help me.

[@TherapyinaNutshell]

Hi are you still here? I hope so don't give up! I feel that God will work in your lie through me or others placed in your path. email me [e-mail]

[@boycebutler7191]

HAHA. It does no good to talk about it. I've tried talking to someone but no good. The only thing I can get is being put on a waiting list. Help is not there. When it's to late it's to late. Fuck this shit.

[@irfanbasha8686]

I hate you my life 😭😭😭😭

[@fdr3893]

Then Jesus said : “Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest.” Matthew 11 : 28

[@yarilesrivera5262]

❤️

[@AlejandroHernandez-rd2fr]

fdr kinda creepy considering the fact that this video is about suicide

[@user-om4ey5lb3c]

just another quote from a world's best selling novel...the Bible

[@MrMrsSanchari]

Once anybody choose suicidal decision nobody can change the mind

[@carzz1533]

I am depressed please help me

[@andreasmickelopoulos9754]

Jesus loves you

[@carzz1533]

@@andreasmickelopoulos9754 i am a muslim sister

[@thebettafish3239]

If you ever want to talk to someone, I'm here to listen!

[@johnnysilva8822]

I am the one , last night to day mladide

[@ChocolateLover1938]

idk them but I know that they're thinking about it and ik it's because of Islamophobia

[@luismanrique5859]

There is a million ways to die.

[@wizloon9052]

Suicidal people do not talk to anybody about it. Why are you talking about guns and England?

[@andreapatane4204]

No one in my 👨‍👩‍👧 should commit suicide and 🤔 about it at the same time. It won’t make us stay alive on 🌍. 👍🏻 if you agree with my comment about suicidal thinking.

[@larrykav]

Peace with Jesus ❤️

[@user-qm3yy5mh8l]

Suicide isnt always bad

[@LisaMinner]

Not once did my ownfamilygiveme creditfordoinggoodnotmydadsormymoms😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢