How Trauma is Keeping You SINGLE | With Matthew Hussey

@thematthewhussey and I talk love, vulnerability, and self-compassion. Join us as we explore the profound impact of trauma on our lives and relationships.
#ancientwisdomformodernwellness #danettemay #matthewhussey

[@lilibethvilella]

I’m living my best HEALED life post divorce. Published a book on finding true WHOLENESS after divorce called “THE SUN ALWAYS PIERCES THROUGH”

[@TheDanetteMay]

That sounds like a great journey. Thank you for sharing ❤️

[@mercynaturinda3]

This was so mind blowing ❤

[@TheDanetteMay]

I’m glad you received something from it ❤️

[@Deelitee]

🏎️1. What’s going on here that I don’t like? What’s the wall I keep crashing into? 🧐2. Adopt an attitude of Curiosity- What if my experience of this life isn’t the only experience that’s available?? If I want a different experience then I may need to change the pattern here. And what if there is proof of that difference around me?? ⛓️‍💥3. Intentionality to deviate from your normal pattern. It shows you a different reality is available to you, no matter how small the deviation is you choose. ( not sure if this is completely accurate, it’s just a quick jaunt of the talk!)

[@TheDanetteMay]

Thanks for sharing. That was well paraphrased.

[@elidaqt]

When guys don’t introduce you to friends or act strange, something is definitely up. Whether he was embarrassed, using her, or not actually committed, as he was hiding her. A regular hang out might not be a big deal, but big events like birthdays, or a guy that consistently doesn’t take out his partner, is a red flag. Along with not wanting to take pictures. You might say, her saying ‘don’t bother’ was wrong, but she was basically trying to invite herself to an event which is wrong, so I think she chose self respect by telling him to stop contacting her, since he obviously is showing he doesn’t care to fit her in his world. It sounds like his friends weren’t a good fit for her, he wasn’t as interested and she cared more. Did she learn this from past trauma, possibly. But I think her mistake was not communicating why she said ‘don’t bother’ by fearing to be redundant and stating the obvious like it was said in the video. I agree, the right person knows how to “handle” someone. What would be the best way to communicate you don’t want to handle someone or don’t think they can/want to “handle” them? I have a pessimistic view of him wanting her to kiss his butt by telling him how she felt about him, when not inviting her spoke volumes. Some women like myself, don’t want to “handle” a guy and play mind games to get him to “commit”, live 50 years with constant anxiety checking if he’s cheating. Some women, expect a man to “come correct” like his mother taught him or wherever they learn to treat women respectfully and let go of the women they aren’t actually interested in, fishing for praise to feel good that someone likes them while being detached with “No skin in the game”, as one of the components is to mutually like each other (reciprocity).

[@TheDanetteMay]

Thank you for your thoughtful feedback and point of view. ❤️

[@CareerandBusinessCoach]

I suffer from that… I pushed away guys all my life and could only have a relationship with someone I didn’t like that much and now miserable. I can’t change it 😢 I need help.

[@TheDanetteMay]

Thank you for getting vulnerable and sharing. Is there one situation or a few that you can think of that sparked this belief system? IE that sparked you pushing guys away?

[@CareerandBusinessCoach]

@@TheDanetteMay I don’t know. I push them away with actions. When things are going well, somehow I create a situation. My best guess is low self esteem… I grew up subconsciously believing I don’t deserve love. I know I need to change it but don’t know how to do it. Not sure where to look for help for this…

[@angelwings6193]

she could have said,,,, Im tired, call me tomorrow and then having a convo on why he didnt think of advising her he wont be coming over, and why didnt he? as mature adults

[@suhailasabah425]

😍😍😍😍😍😍

[@angelwings6193]

his behaviour was inconsiderate so that speaks volumes

[@angelwings6193]

also he could have called to say, Id like to go out w the boys tonight, are ok by it? or would you prefer to come along n meet my friends? so,,,,, what was HIS problem? inconsideration? he forgot about her,,,,,? purposely keeping her out of his circle or was this a new "friendship? we hate spending 4 hrs making a 5 star dinner, you say youll be there in 30 min n arrive at 11pm,,,,,,,, that could have been her instincts wondering why he didnt want to introduce her to his friends and immaturity, and lack of clarity. ggeeeeeeee