How We Settle Fights Quickly After Eight Years Together

[@swisstrader]

This is advice coming from a guy that’s been happily married (also to an Asian woman!) for close to 30 years and Ryan said it best. When you have heated discussions, aka a fight, always express things in terms that are personal to YOU and how it make YOU feel, not pointing blame on the other person which is a natural inclination. So instead of saying “I hate when you do xx it it pisses me off when you don’t do xx”, instead say “I feel sad, hurt, upset, etc when you do these things”. Immediately softens the argument while still getting your point across and then there’s less finger pointing, less blaming each other and more acknowledgment and understanding. Also, you can NEVER do name calling, never curse and don’t escalate, because a very simple and stupid argument can go from zero to 100 in a matter of mins. And yes, humor works also, but you have to use good judgement there, because I know with my wife, if I think trying to be funny while she’s pissed off or feeling like she’s not being heard will only exacerbate the situation. It’s all a balance and knowing your PARTNER (which are really good words used by both of these people). Over time you get to know their hot buttons (family, religion, sex, etc) and you learn to tread a bit more lightly when you know what gets them animated. I’ve also learned over the years just to freakin LISTEN to my wife and let her know I’m listening, even when I think she’s dead wrong. Then if you REALLY want to complicate things, throw in a few kids, a mortgage, a life filled with surprises (both good and bad) and see how that tests your relationship. Over the years though, my wife and I have learned to be a TEAM against all the craziness that’s out there in this world and me knowing she has my back and her knowing that I have hers makes us invincible 💪 💪 💪

[@sdotp77301]

swisstrader best thing I’ve read all day!! Thank you for this

[@CandiceKCandice]

Thank you for the useful tips I read them on books before but good to remind myself again

[@mackenziefritz1229]

i don't think they are married i think they are just bf and gf

[@DarkestDeeds]

@@mackenziefritz1229 Marriage is a piece of paper. This couple has been together for 8 years. Any relationship can be improved by communicating. Whether it's a partner, family, or friends. No matter how long the relationship is or the other stress in life.

[@faith6133]

This is so important

[@derreckdasilva5943]

He’s so patient when she’s signing. You can tell he’s excited to say something but really loves and respects her that he waits haha. I love it.

[@SignDuoChannel]

Derreck DaSilva hahaha

[@galgreen3749]

Yeap he is so sweet poor Ryan he wants to add something but has to wait 😭

[@barahui9]

That guy has a level of maturity that is charming. Right on friend.

[@SignDuoChannel]

Chuga thanks so much!

[@xheikhrizwan8578]

Ryt

[@Ranaluv77]

Agreed!

[@X_Lee.]

Imagine getting the last word and you just close your eyes so you don’t see there sign.

[@stanfatou2002]

LOLLLL

[@sumayasaid3715]

You can still slap them

[@marythoj205]

Sumaya Said lol 🤣

[@X_Lee.]

Sumaya Said that’d probably make them close there eyes permanently cuz I know that slap finnah have the power of Buddha.

[@stamoev]

I swear to God I lost it when I read your comment

[@noahi5364]

"What's important is you two solving the issue (not the fight itself)." Seriously learning so much from this amazing channel, you guys rock ❤️

[@SignDuoChannel]

no you rock Nao!

[@ucheedith5610]

Is like I'll marry a deaf guy🤔

[@JohamAhmad]

I like that this advice can be applied to any relationship, not just romantic 👍🏼

[@SignDuoChannel]

yup, exactly!

[@ionacmitchell]

The fact that this video started with an argument is actually really cool 😂 like you’re not worried about editing it out ♥️

[@SignDuoChannel]

nah! we love to be honest with you all!😂🤟🏻

[@winterwaffle16]

@@SignDuoChannel I thought that might have been staged for the video lol

[@thomasgallagher4306]

Love you 💞 much 💕 love you 💝 much of a good time ❣️ thomas gallagher 💚 and get a go back 💙💚 and get it to get my car back 💗 lol have a great day at work and back to the girls to the 💗💗💗💗💗💗💗 lol I love you so much and I love you 💕💕 love you 💞 much of a go back 💖 thomas gallagher 💋❤️ ok 😘 lol 💓 ok Yas love you so much baby and I Mom love you so we get home from school 🤩 thomas gallagher 💋 love

[@byrissa]

Omg you guys are literally the cutest couple 💕💕 I don’t know sing language at all but I’m still subscribed to you guys. I hope you guys last forever with each other.

[@SignDuoChannel]

lsarisa maybe you’ll pick up some sign from our videos ☺️thank you 🤟

[@richardsantmyer8074]

@@SignDuoChannel I certainly have! Do you use PSE or ASL when talking to each other?

[@SignDuoChannel]

Richard Santmyer thats a good question. We use PSE☺️

[@richardsantmyer8074]

@@SignDuoChannel Gotcha. Thank you so much!!! 😄

[@byrissa]

Sign Duo 💕💕

[@SBereft]

This is a more mature, productive conversation than people who have been married for 25 years are having. If that makes sense. I love your guys' style and respect for each other. It's such a breath of fresh air, because relationships are hard but you do need to respect each other and communicate effectively. Love this. ♡♡♡

[@samevans1289]

I rarely say this, but you guys are literal couple goals! You navigate your relationship with such maturity, respect and thoughtfulness towards each other!💜💜

[@mikaylaraee]

I'm really glad this just showed up in my recommended... I dont get personal in youtube comments but I'll make an exception here because I do feel like this is a safe place. My boyfriend and I have been together for only a year, and when we fight.. we fight. I was wondering to myself the other day like, "How do we not know how to fight or how to communicate." Or "Why dont I know how to handle him or why doesnt he know how to handle me yet." And I realize that it does take time to figure out one another and find the best way to go about the argument with the person how matters so much to you. We actually had a heart to heart about how we should go about our arguments... but this video helps so much and I can't wait to share it with my boyfriend and hopefully things get better as we go along.❤ So thank you, to the cute couple who made this video. 🙏

[@SignDuoChannel]

Mikayla Reyes this will always be a safe place! Thanks so much for being vulnerable with us! So sorry we just saw your comment a month later. Hope everything worked out for you and your boyfriend!

[@mikaylaraee]

@@SignDuoChannel thank you! Its totally fine. And like all couples, things take time but we do see improvements. ❤

[@emotionsaside]

this is my favourite video from you guys. it really shows your maturity, willingness and love for each other, and makes me aspire to find someone who can communicate with me in this way. thanks!

[@SignDuoChannel]

Thanks so much! That means a lot. We've been together since Ellen was 14, and I was 17 and we've learned soo much. I know you will find that person someday :)🤟🏻

[@ucheedith5610]

@@SignDuoChannel 😱😱congrats

[@EhrenRunde_]

Okay I just found you two a couple hours ago and I can't stop watching your videos. You're a really cute couple, please keep going! Your really motivating me to learn sign language :3 Edit: 2:38 "always be honest and communicate your feelings", that's SO important! You're saying so many important things, I wish everybody would take them serious.

[@alaynakay3992]

EhrenRunde haha the same happened to me I was just about to go to bed because it was super late and I saw this pop up in my recommended and was like “alright one more video” and stayed up for a few more hours watching them lol I finally stopped when my eyes kept closing.

[@SignDuoChannel]

Thank you for the kind words

[@SignDuoChannel]

@@alaynakay3992 hahahha! glad you like our videos. that makes me so happy 🤟🏻

[@patriciafontanez1349]

Alayna Kay OMG sameee ❤️

[@nichi4life890]

Y'all are the goals I want to have for my relationship

[@sarahbella5643]

3:33 I immensely felt that. Learning how to differentiate between blaming and communicating has always been the issue for me; to hear from someone else really opened up my eyes wider to have a better picture of the situation. thank you, really needed the answer to this question :")

[@SignDuoChannel]

I'm so glad our advice helped clear the difference up!

[@MissNatt27]

I love this topic. Something I always tell myself is that my partner isn’t a mind reader. Even if I’m not ready to talk about it, I’ll say, “I’m annoyed. I’m not ready to talk about it, but I know it’s not fair for me to make you guess.” Often I see couples who wait for the other person to notice they are upset and then get upset because their partner didn’t realize it. Like you guys are always saying, communication is so important. My husband and I are very different, but we both become very quiet when we are annoyed. Partly, it’s an effort to not say anything if you can’t say something productive-getting to that stage can take time, but letting it stew too much isn’t good either. Be quick to forgive, don’t harp on mistakes, and know that you can disagree and move on. Not everything in life gets resolved in a pretty bow. Just love each other for who they are-misunderstandings and all. Sometimes you have to say, “I’m disappointed you don’t understand my side of this, but I’m doing my best to let it go anyway. I love you no matter what, so I’ll do the work to get over it and if you’ll love me through it the best you can that would help a lot.” I would also say, know your partners buttons. We know what our partners buttons are or we would if we listen and pay attention. Stay miles away from the bad one unless necessary and know the ones that’s help you out. If I push away a sincere gesture of affection when I’m annoyed, I know I’ve cut him deeply, so I don’t do that anymore. It was spiteful of me to do it in the beginning, and spite is the enemy of resolution. For him, he knows I like an apology if it’s agreed that one is appropriate, so he does that for me. It’s closure, I love it and it makes me feel special, so I melt-Like nothing ever happened and he hung the moon up especially for me. Love is crazy that way-ain’t it grand! :-) Anyway, great video. Very wise words!

[@mychemicallemongee2885]

How do you deal with overthinking or insecurities in a relationship?

[@alphawavesready6639]

That's a good question. I want to know too

[@Bekah9126]

You guys remind me of my boyfriend and I. We’ve been dating 8 years also since I was 15. High school sweethearts. I’m so jealous you guys live together lol, I hope to live with my man soon!

[@linky7772]

Wow 15 here in Singapore we don’t think about relationships till we’re like idk 19?

[@SignDuoChannel]

it's such a great feeling!!! With my beautiful gf 24/7 it's awesome!

[@bittersweet6927]

Are you doing a long distance relationship with him ?

[@midwestblondie]

That's not something to be striving for. If a man loves a woman, he'd marry her. Period. Just living together shows that he only wants to milk for free instead of buying the cow. lol

[@Bekah9126]

@@midwestblondie how does a piece of paper, a ring, and shared assets symbolize love? Marriage is a scam setup by the government. Sadly many of them end in divorce and settlements. Love should not be a business and the law should not be involved in a relationship but that’s just my opinion and to each their own. I guess I have a more modern approach on love and relationship, rather than the traditional views.

[@scoopsahoy4794]

The puppy has grown so much already!!!

[@SignDuoChannel]

she has! it's crazy

[@jasongarcia6983]

When she signed, “Hey Sign Fam!” i felt like i was apart of your family 😪

[@SignDuoChannel]

you are jason 💪

[@lyricg19336]

My problem with the “I feel” statement is that my boyfriend is a smart ass. And he’ll say, well What exactly did I do to make you feel like that? And when? Then I’ll be forced to say What he did wrong (in my eyes). I feel like this is What fuels the argument. He forces me to place the blame on him or else I “don’t make any sense or have any proof” 🤦🏽‍♀️

[@emcooljem3359]

Ryan found several ways to settle the arguments/fights between both of them and it works for them. He explains things to you and don't mean those will work for you and your boyfriend. He gives you the idea and you should try to amplify it into your own way and what will work for you and your boyfriend. Everyone has different ways of setting the fights/arguments. Before I come across this vlog today, last weekend, my girlfriend and I are exact opposite of those couple. I hold shits in and let those go the next day (forget it about it not important anymore) and she wants to me to be more communicative. So, she was pestering me to tell her what's wrong. I was like not important anymore :) and its all good! but she wouldn't give up. So, I was like ugh! Fine! I told her everything about how I feel blah blah blah and she cried and apologized. I was like that is why I didn't wanna tell you ¬_¬ and I let those go so don't worry about it. She was like no I need to know so I wouldn't do this to you again. She really put her foot down on the ground and told me to be more communicative. I was like okay but don't go crying on me like that again. I told her let me know if I ever hurt you in any way. She was like Oh! you want me to tell you but you don't wanna tell me!? I was like shhh. Cállate (shut for Spanish). So, when I came across this video, I was like oh yeah, we are very similar and how we address the issues are also similar. So, I feel very lucky to have her she takes arguments/fighting and communications very serious no smart ass comment, no wise crack, blah blah blah. Admittedly, I joke around from time to time but when she says I don't have to time to play and I be like a'ight, sup? then get the bottom of everything. You just need to find your own way. We are Deaf by the way. :)

[@litttlecake]

Lerielou omg my bf is the same exact way, I hate it

[@abiraya8787]

Lerielou omg i feel this too it’s so hard sometimes

[@mandododo2]

Lerielou try looking at it from a different perspective. I ask my boyfriend these same questions when he tells me he feels this or that. I’m not trying to force him into blaming anything I just want to know at what point did he feel that way. And many times when he tries to tell me what I said or did he realizes himself there was nothing to get upset about or feel bad about. Other times when he tells me I just explain it wasn’t meant in a bad way and that’s it, Many times is how the other person made a wrong interpretation or misunderstood something so you need them to point out what was it for you to explain it wasn’t what they thought it was!

[@sarahm5701]

My husband does that! He’ll expect me to literally name the date and times of every time he did ____ and it’s like really. I don’t keep a diary

[@padius2287]

This is honestly fascinating.

[@SignDuoChannel]

glad you like it!

[@padius2287]

You guys are amazing

[@rubyroses12]

WOW! I’ve been married and with my partner a total of 5 years, we have done marriage counseling and classes, and this is exactly what they taught us. These techniques truly save relationships 💕 thank you for being vulnerable and sharing your advice, it really does help others! I love you guys so much! And Ryan, put a ring on that finger! 😉💖👍🏼

[@SignDuoChannel]

🤟🏻I totally agree! It's not hard to be vulnerable when we get so much positive feedback! I will put a ring on it for sure! Just unsure when :)

[@elizabethbellah7407]

"Hey stop. You wuv each other." Gotta love Java Also, I have a question for Ellen! I've been signing on and off for like ten years, I'm fluent. However I just got an offer to help a family learn sign for their son who needs it to communicate. How did you start learning sign language for Ryan? Any tips for teaching someone who has never seen it before? Like you said in a past video it's hard to go back to a blank slate once you know it, just don't wanna overwhelm them right off the bat. Love you guys!

[@SignDuoChannel]

I would suggest using www.lifeprint.com. It actually has free lesson plans from beginning all the way up to intermediate! Maybe that will help :)

[@elizabethbellah7407]

@@SignDuoChannel That actually looks perfect. Should be really helpful. Thanks you guys! :)

[@macloud51]

I've taught kids for 22 years and the most important thing is never take for granted that your student learned, so be always patient, 2nd listen to the kids need they can easily show you the shortcuts to their learning. 3rd mistakes should be accepted as normal in the learning process. I avoided saying you made a mistake but using let's say it in a better English. Or paraphrasing the sentence correctly e g. You said ... Have a nice and productive class! LOVE, LIVE, LEARN n LAUGH MAC.

[@melissasmith2801]

Very good and healthy communication! It probably took awhile to get to that point of communicating maturely, but it’s so worth it! You two are an inspiration to all couples!

[@crystalll.e]

The youtube algorithm recommended you to me. And I am VERY grateful 🥰💕 you have gained a new subscriber

[@ComedyGlor]

When you said the thing about dancing with Ellen when you’re fighting put the biggest smile on my face ☺️☺️. That’s so cute. I want that

[@janaeturner5472]

She looks like Jhené Aiko she’s so pretty

[@louieacott5425]

Him hugging the puppy was so cute ahh

[@thanthoe4590]

I just want you guys to know how much I love your videos! I live in Jamaica so I have been learning Jamaican Sign Language as a course at my university. I have been watching your channel and it has helped me practice (JSL is very similar to ASL with a few exceptions). And I also love how open you are about your relationships and every aspect of it. You guys give very good advice and you're so cute together!

[@SignDuoChannel]

Wow! that's very cool that they're so similar. Maybe we should learn JSL :D

[@thanthoe4590]

​@@SignDuoChannel Haha, maybe :D A lot of our signs are derived from ASL. But we also have some unique nuances, like a sign for brown (human) that is different from brown (object), and we have a different sign for black (person) from black (object).

[@choisanwoojung]

i subscribed to you guys yesterday and now that i’m going back to public school after being homeschooled because of anxiety issues, i’ve chosen to learn sign language !! you guys are super inspiring !! love you both !!

[@nikadinah]

I really like watching your video. You both set a great example. Neither my husband and I are deaf but there is so much you talk about that we relate to. Thank you for sharing your life.

[@jessicagentryturner3957]

Watching this many months after its first posting as I didn't discover you two (three!) until a few weeks ago, but wanted to thank you for sharing your incredible relationship and how it works so well. That first tip is something I needed to hear 8 years ago (when I started dating my now husband), but will be applying much more intentionally in the future. Thanks for the heart in this message!

[@mariaapfelbach4548]

binge watching yalls videos. i love them so much !!!

[@SignDuoChannel]

[@marchiyac2254]

Guys you two are awesome

[@lesparza1981]

Thank you for sharing so much of your lives. It is a pleasure watching your videos and listening to your answers. It is so nice that you answer questions from your viewers. Your answers not only help hearing and deaf relationships but all relationships. Thank you again

[@makeupbyalexis5001]

Please make another video like this or about this topic!!!! It truly helps so much for someone in a relationship trying to work better as a team during arguments

[@TylerSimonds]

Makeup By Alexis yeah I’ll second that. wonder if you can speak to what it’s like when fear is an element of the fight-assuming that one or both of you have experienced anxiety in the relationship

[@SignDuoChannel]

what kind of question though? Like what exactly do you need advice about?

[@TylerSimonds]

Sign Duo I’m not sure, but appreciate your follow-up. New to thinking about partner-type relationships and looking for all the advice I can get

[@peytensabourin783]

your videos always calm me down when i’m feeling sad or anxious. i love you guys!! :)

[@phoenixluna4137]

How me and my husband resolve our arguments: we ignore each other until we get mad again. Lol

[@SignDuoChannel]

Scarlett Phoenix 😂😂😂

[@Thinkkorea26]

He is so charming You both look so good together Stay together :* :*

[@DechenVlogs101]

GOD shouldve made everyone to learn sign language first and then speak.. its so beautiful.. you look at each other and talk.. you actually feel more connected. So beautiful

[@tiekausaun7263]

I cries a little when you talked about the dancing thing...soooo sweeeet

[@alal4905]

Ithink is very talkative person !! Her face experment tells everythings she is thinking about

[@SteppingStonevlogs]

This is good love, because you work through your problems and regonsise your difference...but that makes you stronger because you both bring different thing tthe relationship. Also... great to learn some sign!

[@abigailpena3602]

I love the little Java shots at the end 🥰 brightens up my work day

[@denisee_260]

Man y’all are the cutest couple, I saw one of your videos on my recommended this morning and I watched it and I thought “man I gotta subscribe” and then I watched the rest of your guys’ videos, I have no idea how to sign but now I really want to learn 😂

[@SignDuoChannel]

Thanks for subscribing

[@shirugallen4755]

The suggestions you guys gives away are wonderful! But normally when your argue, you’re overwhelmed by emotions, so taking a few minutes may be a very good solution to cool down! I really enjoyed this videos! Thumbs up! 👏🏼👏🏼

[@UFBBAng]

Awwww, that Java stretch at the end is so CUTE! :)

[@dbaya94]

Really loved this video! You guys gave us an honest look into your relationship. I am a newer subscriber and have been loving your channel. 😊 I am a daughter of two deaf parents so it is so interesting to see how your relationship dynamic works. Can't wait to see more from your channel!

[@SignDuoChannel]

Hi Donia! Oh it's awesome to meet a CODA! thanks that means a lot 🤟🏻

[@geisteswissenschaft]

You guys are so sweet.. I'll show this video to my high school English class here in Germany and start a class conversation about you, especially because communication is their self chosen topic of their high school exams.

[@SignDuoChannel]

That's awesome that Communication is being taught in schools in Germany!

[@geisteswissenschaft]

Sign Duo ..one is actually visiting a signing workshop, as part of her preparation...

[@cynthiarivera5668]

Y’all are probably my top 3 favorite KZbin couples. I’m able to learn so much from you guys, thank you for posting 😭

[@SignDuoChannel]

Aww thanks Cynthia

[@Oilfieldmuscle]

I've been married for 9 1/2 years and I learned a little from this and agree with all of it. Great job you two.

[@rebelyell3451]

This is really cool to hear the you guys can communicate and respect each other in that. ❤️ I've learned that all relationship, wether they are romantic, friendships, family relationships, communication is the key!! If you need to speak out/say something or set a boundary, it's better to do it than to hold it in!! It might be ugly, awkward or come out all wrong, but it's better than saying nothing because the other person probably doesn't know what you're thinking!! I hope y'all are having a nice week ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

[@SignDuoChannel]

Communication= Number 1! And we are having a great time. Hope you are too

[@goldenlion7]

Honestly, these are amazing suggestions for friendships and relationships with parents and siblings as well. Communicating my needs is something I struggle with, but maybe some of these suggestions will help.

[@SignDuoChannel]

I hope it gets better for you

[@goldenlion7]

@@SignDuoChannel Thank you!

[@PappaMustafa]

So happy I found this channel! You two are very entertaining and I've learned aloy from both of you. Thanks for sharing your lives

[@SignDuoChannel]

of course, its worth it to us when we hear from you guys how the videos help you learn!

[@dreamsflowingable]

Ugh this is so good! I have been with my boyfriend for four years and we also learned our ways that we use to get through tough patches. We also don’t fight as much as we use it because we told each other that we love each other. Due to that we weren’t going to drag fights out. We understood there would be fights but we needed to talk about our feelings in the situation and not ignore each other or disappear from the problem. Now we communicate better, fight less and laugh more

[@SignDuoChannel]

that's how it should be

[@christopherforwood6592]

You guys are awesome and my time of no posts makes me rally sad. I started ASL this year as a sophomore, my teacher actually introduced me yo guys in class, she shows her classes your videos, well when i watched it i fell in love with you, Ellen, your brightness and kindness, Ryan’s sense of humour, and that adorable puppy of yours. Well i just wanted to let you know on how much your video has impacted my interest in the deaf culture. Well keep it up.

[@SignDuoChannel]

Thanks! Keep it up too! I know you can learn!

[@zoebeauteful344]

Ryan, my question is for you. My grandson was born deaf into an all hearing family. He is 10 and only a select few of us have tried to learn ASL (none of us are fluent and still struggle daily to keep up with him language wise). We are starting to notice him having an attitude (understandably) with those family members who don't know his language. My question is, did you experience the same and if so how/when did you overcome that?

[@batistavsmary]

I don't want to be disrespectful but I don't think this is something your grandson has to "overcome". Is it unreasonable to be frustrated when even the people closest to you are not willing to put in the effort to communicate with you? Family is there to support each other - and he is denied that support if people are not willing to communicate. I wouldn't expect every relative, no matter how distant, to become a master in sign language (although it would be nice and show their love...) but at least learning some basics shouldn't be too big an ask, right? I'd say it's those family members that need to "overcome" their fear or disinterest or laziness or whatever it is that is holding them back.

[@zoebeauteful344]

@@batistavsmary as I said in my post his frustration is understandable, however learning a new language and grammar are not easy and various ppl have their own issues. My issue is that life is rough and my Grandson will face all kinds of obstacles and prejudices and he needs to learn (in my opinion) how to meet those obstacles and prejudices with a little respect and a good attitude. He can't be rude when faced with things that don't go his way even if it should.

[@batistavsmary]

@@zoebeauteful344 While I understand your intention, I don't think this harsh lesson of reality should be learned through family. Family should be a place where one can recuperate from life...

[@zoebeauteful344]

@@batistavsmary I don't necessarily disagree, but he (my Grandson) is loved by all. It's just not as easy as you make it seem for all to learn another language. I don't know if you are deaf or have someone in your life who is deaf, but I would still like to know the answer to my question. Is there a way that Ryan was able to come to terms if he had to when faced with this type of situation.

[@tresewardlaw2223]

@@zoebeauteful344 I have a cousin in my family who's deaf. No one in our family learned. ASL but her mother. As an adult she now has resentment towards the family she's been holding her entire life. As kids we learned a little but weren't fluent in ASL. We all had our way of communicating and thought it was fine. I find myself learning ASL because I'm raising one of her children. I hate having to have her daughter interpret our conversations. I wish our family would have all learned ASL. Although it's tough looking back now it's so important that I learn.

[@icey984]

They are Amazing. second Video I have ever seen of them and it’s just good to see a couple work things in a healthy way.

[@SignDuoChannel]

Zachary Foley awesome Zach!

[@MicaelaShepherd]

I love you guys. NO pressure, but I cant wait to see your baby whenever you are ready, he/she is going to be gorgeous.

[@gc.1234]

*Like if you think Ryan has to put a ring on her* 💍👰🏻🤵🏻

[@carlasuannepoohlockett3259]

I feel that should be their decision and their decision alone.

[@dannyyspencerr]

@@carlasuannepoohlockett3259 i completely 100% agree. the way ppl talk about them sometimes.... idk man. and it's usually directed at Ryan specifically??? i really don't know about that. haha like eessh.....

[@priyaj5283]

They have no big difference from married couples right now, they live together, support each other in every way, don't have to rely on their families decisions.. And they both are way better than most of the married couples that i know.. But if they were living in Asia, i would've said that they shouldn't waste another day to get married and be together.

[@Slapdatknee]

G.C You mean: “like if you think Java should bring the rings in the wedding” 👰 💕

[@samevans1289]

@R V It's not _all_ business. You make it seem as if _the only_ reason people marry nowadays is (somehow) money. People have different sets of values and priorities, and as a person who doesn't believe in marriage (I'm assuming based on your comment) you should be the first to understand that, as your views on marriage aren't exactly mainstream. The institution of marriage started as a business anyway so it's not that big of a deal if both the people involved in it treat it as such in our times. Our times and the recent history are the closest marriage has come to being performed out of love since its inception anyway imo. I myself am of the opinion that marriage and being in a committed, loving, mature and serious relationship, forming a team, are not inclusive, just as not being married but having that type of relationship are not mutually exclusive. But even I can see it also has good parts, and so I can completely understand why people with a different mindset than mine would value getting married so much. :)

[@A-KBench]

That was such a good topic to discuss as you've been together successfully for so many years now. You're a really good team, love you! :)

[@SignDuoChannel]

I'm glad you think so!

[@Caramelletje]

Someone once said to me: when you and your partner are arguing, it isn't you against your partner. It's you and your partner against the problem

[@tessward5650]

truly such good advice! also i wanted to tell you guys i made a new friend last week bc we realized we both love your channel, and it got us talking!

[@SignDuoChannel]

ohhh that's sooo cool!

[@cassiadsouza709]

you can use these tips even with your family/friends! thank you so much for this, having a relationship like you guys is just a dream. y'all understand each other and your relationship is so strong💖 wish you all the best. also can we take a moment to appreciate how cute Java is😭

[@SignDuoChannel]

Yep, exactly! We don't 100% understand eachother, but we try our best to at least try to! She is such a princess!

[@rosehovis3212]

Can you guys do a vid talking about how you met? I would love to hear both side of your stories. By the way I think y'all are just the cutest couple ever and I think it's amazing that ya guys have been together as long as you have.

[@ucheedith5610]

I love the sounds Ryan makes😊😊

[@jeratroha5112]

You are so open minded an loveing. Because of you 2 now i know what i whant to study in the future. And i even start to learn sign language. I love you Sign Duo ❤️

[@The_A_Cast]

My fiancé and I have been together going on 5 years. We’re a gay couple. He’s deaf and I’m hearing. The best thing to do for us when it comes to arguments and disagreements is realize that we’re both different people from different cultures and experiences. Take time to see where each other is coming from then meet in the middle. It always works! Keep up the great vids!🤟🏻

[@trap_sensei0580]

Just stumbled upon this, I can agree 100%. I myself always had an issue with trying to just explain how I felt/ communicating because I had such an ego that wouldn’t let me. This helps me understand how the other side sees things in their eyes. Great video.

[@rakadoni8403]

Be honest, don't blame, keep it light and agree to disagree. I love it 😊

[@annmroyhughes7277]

Absolutely wonderful discussion!

[@richardsantmyer8074]

You guys are so awesome!!!!!! 😍

[@marieclaire6734]

Java’s captions is the cutest thing in the world ahhhh

[@SignDuoChannel]

Ellen can understand exactly what Java is thinking haha

[@abigailc3281]

I love you guys so much, and I love learning about your world through asl. I am super interested in Deaf culture and I would love to hear from Ryan about what it was like with his family growing up, what school was like, and how work is now. Just what day to day is like for a Deaf person: likes, dislikes, some things that might be difficult, or somethings that were more of an advantage. You guys are amazing! I love you!! ❤️

[@SignDuoChannel]

great idea Abigail!

[@xSmokeyMcPot]

What I’m trying to learn is when you communicate with anyone you should try your best to speak words that are true, kind, and helpful. P.s. love the videos. thank you both for opening my eyes about different but very important situations.

[@mj_7_7-i2k]

It’ll be interesting to watch a video about topics you both don’t agree with and give us your opinions on them individually! Just an idea

[@SignDuoChannel]

That's a good idea!

[@FyeRye]

This is the cutest thing I’ve seen all day 😩😩❤️❤️

[@virginiacatherine9065]

Ryan is such a romantic!! You guys are a beautiful couple!

[@jonathangil2447]

Guys, just subscribed you yalls channel. This video really gave me a perspective on how me and my girl should deal with arguments and disagreements.

[@prizmlion6120]

I loved hearing that Ryan tries to make Ellen laugh when they're fed up with arguing. When ever me and my boyfriend are sad or upset we give the other zerberts on the cheek or neck because it makes us laugh!

[@suzannehedderly1331]

I can't believe how much Java has grown!!! 😳 Great video!

[@ashleym7039]

Omg Java is getting so big already! & thank you for sharing these tips, you don’t know how much you help others by sharing your personal experiences ! #signfam 😁❤️

[@SignDuoChannel]

[@KennDawg__]

I was just looking at the dog the whole time

[@SignDuoChannel]

ItsKennKASMR cutest dog lol

[@HaleighDobson]

they deserve way more subscribers! i love them so much!!!

[@rebecawaiteman1203]

This is one of the best videos of relationship tips I have ever seen

[@SignDuoChannel]

beca waitemanm thanks we really appreciate that

[@bernie9516]

I really loved this just because it’s such good information and you guys gave examples actually from past/present 😝 experiences with each other and that’s wonderful. 💕 And honestly I guess it gave me a bit more insight, I’ve been with my boyfriend for 3 years and over time our arguments are less about idiotic childish things and more important things now. So to me it’s just interesting to see how others deal with arguments and how much you can relate to them. Love you guys!!! 💕💕

[@SignDuoChannel]

Glad you fight less about things that don't matter in the long run!

[@jazzb886]

Thank you for sharing so much of your lives with us! Just found your channel (not this video, but an older one) and instantly fell in love. I've been working on getting back into sign language and will definitely be keeping up on your channel! 💜💜

[@SignDuoChannel]

Of course! You should def keep it up :D

[@mariboo1489]

I agree, me and my boyfriend have been dating 8 years and clearly when we met we were young and arguments were our biggest conflict. We eventually learned to settle our arguments by talking and expressing our feelings. It honestly brought us closer together & made our relationship stronger. ♥️ ps.I love your channel & enjoy how humble and unique you guys are🤟🏼😊

[@phoenixmoon5580]

Hey, been lurking after pressing the big red button for a while (and binge watching you both!). I am new to deaf culture. I've been interested in understanding it, but I don't know anyone who is openly part of the deaf community in my area. I am also trying to learn how to sign. (The biggest critique I have for you both are that you are signing ASL, not BSL which is what I am trying to learn!). Anyway, I just reached past your usual sign/speaking intro and noticed a couple of things that amuse me. 1. You both like coffee so much that you name your furbaby/furry family member after a coffee bean! 2. You used a sign for donut/doughnut when the word 'fam' was used. (I also knew about an unrelated channel that went by the name 'coffee and donuts' but all one word. Kinda fitting for you both! Teehee!). Thankyou for your videos and channel. Thankyou for letting me stick my toe into the world of deaf culture to help me understand things better. (Comment made before watching complete video).

[@holicc5046]

Ryan is a unique being. Idk. He’s exceptional even. It feels like he’s reincarnated like 4 times and everything he does screams “intelligence” and “maturity” I don’t even know how to put it. I love you both so much ❤️

[@minasavage]

I actually find this video very helpful, I and my boyfriend got into a really heated argument a couple of days ago and we just could not figure out why. We both knew what was wrong but just could not respect each other's views. We got past its but this video really helped. I love yall videos.!

[@SignDuoChannel]

Thanks! So happy it helped! 😊

[@mistyeparkermba8750]

Such great advice!!! I’ve been married to my husband for 13 yrs after dating for four. We fought/disagreed quite a bit in the beginning, but for us, we hardly ever fight now. There’s been many of times it has escalated and, like Ryan, I couldn’t handle/process it all, so I had to walk away for a little bit (usually locking myself in the bathroom to take a hot bath) then come back to discuss the issue when I’ve called down and thought about the issue. You both seem to understand each other well, which is fantastic!!!

[@SignDuoChannel]

Hey Misty! Great to see your comment. Yep, but Ryan goes to the garage to wrench on his car rather than take a bath haha! I'm so glad your relationship has been long and great!

[@mistyeparkermba8750]

Sign Duo The garage is a good escape too! Another reason I had to walk away was because I found myself, in the beginning, saying hurtful stuff to my husband, if I was forced to talk about it. Then, I found when I got away for a while and calmed down, I didn’t say hurtful things that I regretted. Don’t take it the wrong way of Ryan walks a away for a little while...I know how he feels. My rule: as long as we discuss it within 24 hrs, I found that reasonable. But you two have to find and agree to something that works for your relationship.

[@makimanucat4885]

I actually just memorized the alphabet and I want to learn more! I’ve only been subscribed to sign duo for a week but I’m in love with your videos already!💞

[@SignDuoChannel]

You should totally learn more!

[@mimihayer3767]

Javaaaaa!! Big girl!! She's grown so much already!!!!!

[@SignDuoChannel]

Growing like weeds!

[@tutie5631]

This was actually SOOO helpful. Thank you!

[@javis4319]

Hi. My name is javier. Im 31 years old. Im a hearing person. And I met this amazing woman that is deaf. I've never knew how to sign. But since Ive met her. I started learning sign. And im picking it up pretty well. Ive actually surprised myself on how much ive learned. And she is so patience with me when i sign wrong. I wanted to get a idea of hearing/deaf relationship and i came across your channel. And I have been binge watching. I like your channel and how your share your experiences and opinions. It has helped me alot to understand whats to come. So thank you for your channel. Is there any advise you can give me?

[@Asabs29]

Yay another upload you guys are awesome thanku!!

[@SignDuoChannel]

No, thank you!

[@allisoncole1616]

Thank you for being vulnerable!!

[@SignDuoChannel]

of course Allison

[@pixxie102]

Java is growing so fast!!!! Great video guys!

[@SignDuoChannel]

Thanks Natasha!