How We Settle Fights Quickly After Eight Years Together

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[@swisstrader]

This is advice coming from a guy that’s been happily married (also to an Asian woman!) for close to 30 years and Ryan said it best. When you have heated discussions, aka a fight, always express things in terms that are personal to YOU and how it make YOU feel, not pointing blame on the other person which is a natural inclination. So instead of saying “I hate when you do xx it it pisses me off when you don’t do xx”, instead say “I feel sad, hurt, upset, etc when you do these things”. Immediately softens the argument while still getting your point across and then there’s less finger pointing, less blaming each other and more acknowledgment and understanding. Also, you can NEVER do name calling, never curse and don’t escalate, because a very simple and stupid argument can go from zero to 100 in a matter of mins. And yes, humor works also, but you have to use good judgement there, because I know with my wife, if I think trying to be funny while she’s pissed off or feeling like she’s not being heard will only exacerbate the situation. It’s all a balance and knowing your PARTNER (which are really good words used by both of these people). Over time you get to know their hot buttons (family, religion, sex, etc) and you learn to tread a bit more lightly when you know what gets them animated. I’ve also learned over the years just to freakin LISTEN to my wife and let her know I’m listening, even when I think she’s dead wrong. Then if you REALLY want to complicate things, throw in a few kids, a mortgage, a life filled with surprises (both good and bad) and see how that tests your relationship. Over the years though, my wife and I have learned to be a TEAM against all the craziness that’s out there in this world and me knowing she has my back and her knowing that I have hers makes us invincible 💪 💪 💪

[@sdotp77301]

swisstrader best thing I’ve read all day!! Thank you for this

[@CandiceKCandice]

Thank you for the useful tips I read them on books before but good to remind myself again

[@mackenziefritz1229]

i don't think they are married i think they are just bf and gf

[@DarkestDeeds]

@@mackenziefritz1229 Marriage is a piece of paper. This couple has been together for 8 years. Any relationship can be improved by communicating. Whether it's a partner, family, or friends. No matter how long the relationship is or the other stress in life.

[@faith6133]

This is so important

[@derreckdasilva5943]

He’s so patient when she’s signing. You can tell he’s excited to say something but really loves and respects her that he waits haha. I love it.

[@SignDuoChannel]

Derreck DaSilva hahaha

[@galgreen3749]

Yeap he is so sweet poor Ryan he wants to add something but has to wait 😭

[@barahui9]

That guy has a level of maturity that is charming. Right on friend.

[@SignDuoChannel]

Chuga thanks so much!

[@xheikhrizwan8578]

Ryt

[@Ranaluv77]

Agreed!

[@X_Lee.]

Imagine getting the last word and you just close your eyes so you don’t see there sign.

[@stanfatou2002]

LOLLLL

[@sumayasaid3715]

You can still slap them

[@marythoj205]

Sumaya Said lol 🤣

[@X_Lee.]

Sumaya Said that’d probably make them close there eyes permanently cuz I know that slap finnah have the power of Buddha.

[@stamoev]

I swear to God I lost it when I read your comment

[@ionacmitchell]

The fact that this video started with an argument is actually really cool 😂 like you’re not worried about editing it out ♥️

[@SignDuoChannel]

nah! we love to be honest with you all!😂🤟🏻

[@winterwaffle16]

@@SignDuoChannel I thought that might have been staged for the video lol

[@thomasgallagher4306]

Love you 💞 much 💕 love you 💝 much of a good time ❣️ thomas gallagher 💚 and get a go back 💙💚 and get it to get my car back 💗 lol have a great day at work and back to the girls to the 💗💗💗💗💗💗💗 lol I love you so much and I love you 💕💕 love you 💞 much of a go back 💖 thomas gallagher 💋❤️ ok 😘 lol 💓 ok Yas love you so much baby and I Mom love you so we get home from school 🤩 thomas gallagher 💋 love

[@noahi5364]

"What's important is you two solving the issue (not the fight itself)." Seriously learning so much from this amazing channel, you guys rock ❤️

[@SignDuoChannel]

no you rock Nao!

[@ucheedith5610]

Is like I'll marry a deaf guy🤔

[@JohamAhmad]

I like that this advice can be applied to any relationship, not just romantic 👍🏼

[@SignDuoChannel]

yup, exactly!

[@byrissa]

Omg you guys are literally the cutest couple 💕💕 I don’t know sing language at all but I’m still subscribed to you guys. I hope you guys last forever with each other.

[@SignDuoChannel]

lsarisa maybe you’ll pick up some sign from our videos ☺️thank you 🤟

[@richardsantmyer8074]

@@SignDuoChannel I certainly have! Do you use PSE or ASL when talking to each other?

[@SignDuoChannel]

Richard Santmyer thats a good question. We use PSE☺️

[@richardsantmyer8074]

@@SignDuoChannel Gotcha. Thank you so much!!! 😄

[@byrissa]

Sign Duo 💕💕

[@SBereft]

This is a more mature, productive conversation than people who have been married for 25 years are having. If that makes sense. I love your guys' style and respect for each other. It's such a breath of fresh air, because relationships are hard but you do need to respect each other and communicate effectively. Love this. ♡♡♡

[@nichi4life890]

Y'all are the goals I want to have for my relationship

[@jasongarcia6983]

When she signed, “Hey Sign Fam!” i felt like i was apart of your family 😪

[@SignDuoChannel]

you are jason 💪

[@mikaylaraee]

I'm really glad this just showed up in my recommended... I dont get personal in youtube comments but I'll make an exception here because I do feel like this is a safe place. My boyfriend and I have been together for only a year, and when we fight.. we fight. I was wondering to myself the other day like, "How do we not know how to fight or how to communicate." Or "Why dont I know how to handle him or why doesnt he know how to handle me yet." And I realize that it does take time to figure out one another and find the best way to go about the argument with the person how matters so much to you. We actually had a heart to heart about how we should go about our arguments... but this video helps so much and I can't wait to share it with my boyfriend and hopefully things get better as we go along.❤ So thank you, to the cute couple who made this video. 🙏

[@SignDuoChannel]

Mikayla Reyes this will always be a safe place! Thanks so much for being vulnerable with us! So sorry we just saw your comment a month later. Hope everything worked out for you and your boyfriend!

[@mikaylaraee]

@@SignDuoChannel thank you! Its totally fine. And like all couples, things take time but we do see improvements. ❤

[@scoopsahoy4794]

The puppy has grown so much already!!!

[@SignDuoChannel]

she has! it's crazy

[@phoenixluna4137]

How me and my husband resolve our arguments: we ignore each other until we get mad again. Lol

[@SignDuoChannel]

Scarlett Phoenix 😂😂😂

[@samevans1289]

I rarely say this, but you guys are literal couple goals! You navigate your relationship with such maturity, respect and thoughtfulness towards each other!💜💜

[@MissNatt27]

I love this topic. Something I always tell myself is that my partner isn’t a mind reader. Even if I’m not ready to talk about it, I’ll say, “I’m annoyed. I’m not ready to talk about it, but I know it’s not fair for me to make you guess.” Often I see couples who wait for the other person to notice they are upset and then get upset because their partner didn’t realize it. Like you guys are always saying, communication is so important. My husband and I are very different, but we both become very quiet when we are annoyed. Partly, it’s an effort to not say anything if you can’t say something productive-getting to that stage can take time, but letting it stew too much isn’t good either. Be quick to forgive, don’t harp on mistakes, and know that you can disagree and move on. Not everything in life gets resolved in a pretty bow. Just love each other for who they are-misunderstandings and all. Sometimes you have to say, “I’m disappointed you don’t understand my side of this, but I’m doing my best to let it go anyway. I love you no matter what, so I’ll do the work to get over it and if you’ll love me through it the best you can that would help a lot.” I would also say, know your partners buttons. We know what our partners buttons are or we would if we listen and pay attention. Stay miles away from the bad one unless necessary and know the ones that’s help you out. If I push away a sincere gesture of affection when I’m annoyed, I know I’ve cut him deeply, so I don’t do that anymore. It was spiteful of me to do it in the beginning, and spite is the enemy of resolution. For him, he knows I like an apology if it’s agreed that one is appropriate, so he does that for me. It’s closure, I love it and it makes me feel special, so I melt-Like nothing ever happened and he hung the moon up especially for me. Love is crazy that way-ain’t it grand! :-) Anyway, great video. Very wise words!

[@EhrenRunde_]

Okay I just found you two a couple hours ago and I can't stop watching your videos. You're a really cute couple, please keep going! Your really motivating me to learn sign language :3 Edit: 2:38 "always be honest and communicate your feelings", that's SO important! You're saying so many important things, I wish everybody would take them serious.

[@alaynakay3992]

EhrenRunde haha the same happened to me I was just about to go to bed because it was super late and I saw this pop up in my recommended and was like “alright one more video” and stayed up for a few more hours watching them lol I finally stopped when my eyes kept closing.

[@SignDuoChannel]

Thank you for the kind words

[@SignDuoChannel]

@@alaynakay3992 hahahha! glad you like our videos. that makes me so happy 🤟🏻

[@patriciafontanez1349]

Alayna Kay OMG sameee ❤️

[@padius2287]

This is honestly fascinating.

[@SignDuoChannel]

glad you like it!

[@padius2287]

You guys are amazing

[@emotionsaside]

this is my favourite video from you guys. it really shows your maturity, willingness and love for each other, and makes me aspire to find someone who can communicate with me in this way. thanks!

[@SignDuoChannel]

Thanks so much! That means a lot. We've been together since Ellen was 14, and I was 17 and we've learned soo much. I know you will find that person someday :)🤟🏻

[@ucheedith5610]

@@SignDuoChannel 😱😱congrats

[@Bekah9126]

You guys remind me of my boyfriend and I. We’ve been dating 8 years also since I was 15. High school sweethearts. I’m so jealous you guys live together lol, I hope to live with my man soon!

[@linky7772]

Wow 15 here in Singapore we don’t think about relationships till we’re like idk 19?

[@SignDuoChannel]

it's such a great feeling!!! With my beautiful gf 24/7 it's awesome!

[@bittersweet6927]

Are you doing a long distance relationship with him ?

[@midwestblondie]

That's not something to be striving for. If a man loves a woman, he'd marry her. Period. Just living together shows that he only wants to milk for free instead of buying the cow. lol

[@Bekah9126]

@@midwestblondie how does a piece of paper, a ring, and shared assets symbolize love? Marriage is a scam setup by the government. Sadly many of them end in divorce and settlements. Love should not be a business and the law should not be involved in a relationship but that’s just my opinion and to each their own. I guess I have a more modern approach on love and relationship, rather than the traditional views.

[@t-t-t-t-s]

First video I've seen a video of you guys both right in the middle of an argument, helped me to come back down to earth. Thanks guys!💜

[@nikadinah]

I really like watching your video. You both set a great example. Neither my husband and I are deaf but there is so much you talk about that we relate to. Thank you for sharing your life.

[@melissasmith2801]

Very good and healthy communication! It probably took awhile to get to that point of communicating maturely, but it’s so worth it! You two are an inspiration to all couples!

[@mychemicallemongee2885]

How do you deal with overthinking or insecurities in a relationship?

[@alphawavesready6639]

That's a good question. I want to know too

[@jessicagentryturner3957]

Watching this many months after its first posting as I didn't discover you two (three!) until a few weeks ago, but wanted to thank you for sharing your incredible relationship and how it works so well. That first tip is something I needed to hear 8 years ago (when I started dating my now husband), but will be applying much more intentionally in the future. Thanks for the heart in this message!

[@trap_sensei0580]

Just stumbled upon this, I can agree 100%. I myself always had an issue with trying to just explain how I felt/ communicating because I had such an ego that wouldn’t let me. This helps me understand how the other side sees things in their eyes. Great video.

[@sarahbella5643]

3:33 I immensely felt that. Learning how to differentiate between blaming and communicating has always been the issue for me; to hear from someone else really opened up my eyes wider to have a better picture of the situation. thank you, really needed the answer to this question :")

[@SignDuoChannel]

I'm so glad our advice helped clear the difference up!

[@lesparza1981]

Thank you for sharing so much of your lives. It is a pleasure watching your videos and listening to your answers. It is so nice that you answer questions from your viewers. Your answers not only help hearing and deaf relationships but all relationships. Thank you again

[@choisanwoojung]

i subscribed to you guys yesterday and now that i’m going back to public school after being homeschooled because of anxiety issues, i’ve chosen to learn sign language !! you guys are super inspiring !! love you both !!

[@SteppingStonevlogs]

This is good love, because you work through your problems and regonsise your difference...but that makes you stronger because you both bring different thing tthe relationship. Also... great to learn some sign!

[@jeratroha5112]

You are so open minded an loveing. Because of you 2 now i know what i whant to study in the future. And i even start to learn sign language. I love you Sign Duo ❤️

[@crystalll.e]

The youtube algorithm recommended you to me. And I am VERY grateful 🥰💕 you have gained a new subscriber

[@abigailpena3602]

I love the little Java shots at the end 🥰 brightens up my work day

[@PappaMustafa]

So happy I found this channel! You two are very entertaining and I've learned aloy from both of you. Thanks for sharing your lives

[@SignDuoChannel]

of course, its worth it to us when we hear from you guys how the videos help you learn!

[@louieacott5425]

Him hugging the puppy was so cute ahh

[@shirugallen4755]

The suggestions you guys gives away are wonderful! But normally when your argue, you’re overwhelmed by emotions, so taking a few minutes may be a very good solution to cool down! I really enjoyed this videos! Thumbs up! 👏🏼👏🏼

[@peytensabourin783]

your videos always calm me down when i’m feeling sad or anxious. i love you guys!! :)

[@ComedyGlor]

When you said the thing about dancing with Ellen when you’re fighting put the biggest smile on my face ☺️☺️. That’s so cute. I want that

[@dbaya94]

Really loved this video! You guys gave us an honest look into your relationship. I am a newer subscriber and have been loving your channel. 😊 I am a daughter of two deaf parents so it is so interesting to see how your relationship dynamic works. Can't wait to see more from your channel!

[@SignDuoChannel]

Hi Donia! Oh it's awesome to meet a CODA! thanks that means a lot 🤟🏻

[@cynthiarivera5668]

Y’all are probably my top 3 favorite KZbin couples. I’m able to learn so much from you guys, thank you for posting 😭

[@SignDuoChannel]

Aww thanks Cynthia

[@rubysneed5965]

WOW! I’ve been married and with my partner a total of 5 years, we have done marriage counseling and classes, and this is exactly what they taught us. These techniques truly save relationships 💕 thank you for being vulnerable and sharing your advice, it really does help others! I love you guys so much! And Ryan, put a ring on that finger! 😉💖👍🏼

[@SignDuoChannel]

🤟🏻I totally agree! It's not hard to be vulnerable when we get so much positive feedback! I will put a ring on it for sure! Just unsure when :)

[@UFBBAng]

Awwww, that Java stretch at the end is so CUTE! :)

[@rebelyell3451]

This is really cool to hear the you guys can communicate and respect each other in that. ❤️ I've learned that all relationship, wether they are romantic, friendships, family relationships, communication is the key!! If you need to speak out/say something or set a boundary, it's better to do it than to hold it in!! It might be ugly, awkward or come out all wrong, but it's better than saying nothing because the other person probably doesn't know what you're thinking!! I hope y'all are having a nice week ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

[@SignDuoChannel]

Communication= Number 1! And we are having a great time. Hope you are too

[@elizabethbellah7407]

"Hey stop. You wuv each other." Gotta love Java Also, I have a question for Ellen! I've been signing on and off for like ten years, I'm fluent. However I just got an offer to help a family learn sign for their son who needs it to communicate. How did you start learning sign language for Ryan? Any tips for teaching someone who has never seen it before? Like you said in a past video it's hard to go back to a blank slate once you know it, just don't wanna overwhelm them right off the bat. Love you guys!

[@SignDuoChannel]

I would suggest using www.lifeprint.com. It actually has free lesson plans from beginning all the way up to intermediate! Maybe that will help :)

[@elizabethbellah7407]

@@SignDuoChannel That actually looks perfect. Should be really helpful. Thanks you guys! :)

[@macloud51]

I've taught kids for 22 years and the most important thing is never take for granted that your student learned, so be always patient, 2nd listen to the kids need they can easily show you the shortcuts to their learning. 3rd mistakes should be accepted as normal in the learning process. I avoided saying you made a mistake but using let's say it in a better English. Or paraphrasing the sentence correctly e g. You said ... Have a nice and productive class! LOVE, LIVE, LEARN n LAUGH MAC.

[@tiekausaun7263]

I cries a little when you talked about the dancing thing...soooo sweeeet

[@lyricg19336]

My problem with the “I feel” statement is that my boyfriend is a smart ass. And he’ll say, well What exactly did I do to make you feel like that? And when? Then I’ll be forced to say What he did wrong (in my eyes). I feel like this is What fuels the argument. He forces me to place the blame on him or else I “don’t make any sense or have any proof” 🤦🏽‍♀️

[@emcooljem3359]

Ryan found several ways to settle the arguments/fights between both of them and it works for them. He explains things to you and don't mean those will work for you and your boyfriend. He gives you the idea and you should try to amplify it into your own way and what will work for you and your boyfriend. Everyone has different ways of setting the fights/arguments. Before I come across this vlog today, last weekend, my girlfriend and I are exact opposite of those couple. I hold shits in and let those go the next day (forget it about it not important anymore) and she wants to me to be more communicative. So, she was pestering me to tell her what's wrong. I was like not important anymore :) and its all good! but she wouldn't give up. So, I was like ugh! Fine! I told her everything about how I feel blah blah blah and she cried and apologized. I was like that is why I didn't wanna tell you ¬_¬ and I let those go so don't worry about it. She was like no I need to know so I wouldn't do this to you again. She really put her foot down on the ground and told me to be more communicative. I was like okay but don't go crying on me like that again. I told her let me know if I ever hurt you in any way. She was like Oh! you want me to tell you but you don't wanna tell me!? I was like shhh. Cállate (shut for Spanish). So, when I came across this video, I was like oh yeah, we are very similar and how we address the issues are also similar. So, I feel very lucky to have her she takes arguments/fighting and communications very serious no smart ass comment, no wise crack, blah blah blah. Admittedly, I joke around from time to time but when she says I don't have to time to play and I be like a'ight, sup? then get the bottom of everything. You just need to find your own way. We are Deaf by the way. :)

[@litttlecake]

Lerielou omg my bf is the same exact way, I hate it

[@abiraya8787]

Lerielou omg i feel this too it’s so hard sometimes

[@mandododo2]

Lerielou try looking at it from a different perspective. I ask my boyfriend these same questions when he tells me he feels this or that. I’m not trying to force him into blaming anything I just want to know at what point did he feel that way. And many times when he tries to tell me what I said or did he realizes himself there was nothing to get upset about or feel bad about. Other times when he tells me I just explain it wasn’t meant in a bad way and that’s it, Many times is how the other person made a wrong interpretation or misunderstood something so you need them to point out what was it for you to explain it wasn’t what they thought it was!

[@sarahm5701]

My husband does that! He’ll expect me to literally name the date and times of every time he did ____ and it’s like really. I don’t keep a diary

[@ashleym7039]

Omg Java is getting so big already! & thank you for sharing these tips, you don’t know how much you help others by sharing your personal experiences ! #signfam 😁❤️

[@SignDuoChannel]

[@tessward5650]

truly such good advice! also i wanted to tell you guys i made a new friend last week bc we realized we both love your channel, and it got us talking!

[@SignDuoChannel]

ohhh that's sooo cool!

[@jazzb886]

Thank you for sharing so much of your lives with us! Just found your channel (not this video, but an older one) and instantly fell in love. I've been working on getting back into sign language and will definitely be keeping up on your channel! 💜💜

[@SignDuoChannel]

Of course! You should def keep it up :D

[@cassiadsouza709]

you can use these tips even with your family/friends! thank you so much for this, having a relationship like you guys is just a dream. y'all understand each other and your relationship is so strong💖 wish you all the best. also can we take a moment to appreciate how cute Java is😭

[@SignDuoChannel]

Yep, exactly! We don't 100% understand eachother, but we try our best to at least try to! She is such a princess!

[@denisee_260]

Man y’all are the cutest couple, I saw one of your videos on my recommended this morning and I watched it and I thought “man I gotta subscribe” and then I watched the rest of your guys’ videos, I have no idea how to sign but now I really want to learn 😂

[@SignDuoChannel]

Thanks for subscribing

[@CamilaSaurus]

Aww you guys are so sweet ❤️ the dancing thing was adorable!

[@alal4905]

Ithink is very talkative person !! Her face experment tells everythings she is thinking about

[@Oilfieldmuscle]

I've been married for 9 1/2 years and I learned a little from this and agree with all of it. Great job you two.

[@suzannehedderly1331]

I can't believe how much Java has grown!!! 😳 Great video!

[@icey984]

They are Amazing. second Video I have ever seen of them and it’s just good to see a couple work things in a healthy way.

[@SignDuoChannel]

Zachary Foley awesome Zach!

[@bernie9516]

I really loved this just because it’s such good information and you guys gave examples actually from past/present 😝 experiences with each other and that’s wonderful. 💕 And honestly I guess it gave me a bit more insight, I’ve been with my boyfriend for 3 years and over time our arguments are less about idiotic childish things and more important things now. So to me it’s just interesting to see how others deal with arguments and how much you can relate to them. Love you guys!!! 💕💕

[@SignDuoChannel]

Glad you fight less about things that don't matter in the long run!

[@thanthoe4590]

I just want you guys to know how much I love your videos! I live in Jamaica so I have been learning Jamaican Sign Language as a course at my university. I have been watching your channel and it has helped me practice (JSL is very similar to ASL with a few exceptions). And I also love how open you are about your relationships and every aspect of it. You guys give very good advice and you're so cute together!

[@SignDuoChannel]

Wow! that's very cool that they're so similar. Maybe we should learn JSL :D

[@thanthoe4590]

​@@SignDuoChannel Haha, maybe :D A lot of our signs are derived from ASL. But we also have some unique nuances, like a sign for brown (human) that is different from brown (object), and we have a different sign for black (person) from black (object).

[@annmroyhughes7277]

Absolutely wonderful discussion!

[@mariaapfelbach4548]

binge watching yalls videos. i love them so much !!!

[@SignDuoChannel]

[@MysteriousFella]

This is the cutest thing I’ve seen all day 😩😩❤️❤️

[@Thinkkorea26]

He is so charming You both look so good together Stay together :* :*

[@janaeturner5472]

She looks like Jhené Aiko she’s so pretty

[@dreamsflowingable]

Ugh this is so good! I have been with my boyfriend for four years and we also learned our ways that we use to get through tough patches. We also don’t fight as much as we use it because we told each other that we love each other. Due to that we weren’t going to drag fights out. We understood there would be fights but we needed to talk about our feelings in the situation and not ignore each other or disappear from the problem. Now we communicate better, fight less and laugh more

[@SignDuoChannel]

that's how it should be

[@zhizhixoxo]

Omg this is some great advice. Thank y’all for making this video.

[@abigailc3281]

I love you guys so much, and I love learning about your world through asl. I am super interested in Deaf culture and I would love to hear from Ryan about what it was like with his family growing up, what school was like, and how work is now. Just what day to day is like for a Deaf person: likes, dislikes, some things that might be difficult, or somethings that were more of an advantage. You guys are amazing! I love you!! ❤️

[@SignDuoChannel]

great idea Abigail!

[@goldenlion7]

Honestly, these are amazing suggestions for friendships and relationships with parents and siblings as well. Communicating my needs is something I struggle with, but maybe some of these suggestions will help.

[@SignDuoChannel]

I hope it gets better for you

[@goldenlion7]

@@SignDuoChannel Thank you!

[@ucheedith5610]

I love the sounds Ryan makes😊😊

[@makeupbyalexis5001]

Please make another video like this or about this topic!!!! It truly helps so much for someone in a relationship trying to work better as a team during arguments

[@TylerSimonds]

Makeup By Alexis yeah I’ll second that. wonder if you can speak to what it’s like when fear is an element of the fight-assuming that one or both of you have experienced anxiety in the relationship

[@SignDuoChannel]

what kind of question though? Like what exactly do you need advice about?

[@TylerSimonds]

Sign Duo I’m not sure, but appreciate your follow-up. New to thinking about partner-type relationships and looking for all the advice I can get

[@geisteswissenschaft]

You guys are so sweet.. I'll show this video to my high school English class here in Germany and start a class conversation about you, especially because communication is their self chosen topic of their high school exams.

[@SignDuoChannel]

That's awesome that Communication is being taught in schools in Germany!

[@geisteswissenschaft]

Sign Duo ..one is actually visiting a signing workshop, as part of her preparation...

[@jimmymontoya4458]

I'm so glad I found this channel It's really good and honestly I feel like I'm learning more sing language here than anywhere else😂

[@lilith_33]

I love this video, guys! And I agree with all that you said. In a relationship it's all about learning of each other and know how to communicate (and don't blame). Like I said, this video is so good and well put together, as well as concise. 👌🏻

[@SignDuoChannel]

glad you loved this video! and glad it was edited perfectly due to Ellen! She does such an amazing job editing videos

[@tutie5631]

This was actually SOOO helpful. Thank you!

[@christopherforwood6592]

You guys are awesome and my time of no posts makes me rally sad. I started ASL this year as a sophomore, my teacher actually introduced me yo guys in class, she shows her classes your videos, well when i watched it i fell in love with you, Ellen, your brightness and kindness, Ryan’s sense of humour, and that adorable puppy of yours. Well i just wanted to let you know on how much your video has impacted my interest in the deaf culture. Well keep it up.

[@SignDuoChannel]

Thanks! Keep it up too! I know you can learn!

[@MicaelaShepherd]

I love you guys. NO pressure, but I cant wait to see your baby whenever you are ready, he/she is going to be gorgeous.

[@prizmlion6120]

I loved hearing that Ryan tries to make Ellen laugh when they're fed up with arguing. When ever me and my boyfriend are sad or upset we give the other zerberts on the cheek or neck because it makes us laugh!

[@mimihayer3767]

Javaaaaa!! Big girl!! She's grown so much already!!!!!

[@SignDuoChannel]

Growing like weeds!

[@A-KBench]

That was such a good topic to discuss as you've been together successfully for so many years now. You're a really good team, love you! :)

[@SignDuoChannel]

I'm glad you think so!

[@rosehovis3212]

Can you guys do a vid talking about how you met? I would love to hear both side of your stories. By the way I think y'all are just the cutest couple ever and I think it's amazing that ya guys have been together as long as you have.

[@msjoy93]

Glad Java diffused the fight haha 😂 and thanks for the advice 😊

[@marchiyac2254]

Guys you two are awesome

[@valeriadelgado62]

Im always so happy to see your notification!! but OMG Java is so big!! love you guys! keep up the good work

[@SignDuoChannel]

🤟🏻she is growing soooo fast! thank you Valeria

[@mrfilamfishing]

I just fell in love with the both of you and this is only my first video... I have subscribed and can't wait to see more... God bless to the both of you... 🤙

[@richardsantmyer8074]

You guys are so awesome!!!!!! 😍

[@linc]

this was just an insightful video! thank you guys. i love this.

[@HaleighDobson]

they deserve way more subscribers! i love them so much!!!

[@jonathangil2447]

Guys, just subscribed you yalls channel. This video really gave me a perspective on how me and my girl should deal with arguments and disagreements.

[@DiviineMinistry]

wow, i needed this advice! i’m currently talking to someone who is from another country and speaks little english so occasionally we tend to have many misunderstandings just because of the language barrier, but this helped a ton thank you so much guys!! love your videos and i hope to meet you both one day when i am a successful asl interpreter 🤟🏾💛

[@SignDuoChannel]

🤟🏻

[@gc.1234]

*Like if you think Ryan has to put a ring on her* 💍👰🏻🤵🏻

[@carlasuannepoohlockett3259]

I feel that should be their decision and their decision alone.

[@dannyyspencerr]

@@carlasuannepoohlockett3259 i completely 100% agree. the way ppl talk about them sometimes.... idk man. and it's usually directed at Ryan specifically??? i really don't know about that. haha like eessh.....

[@priyaj5283]

They have no big difference from married couples right now, they live together, support each other in every way, don't have to rely on their families decisions.. And they both are way better than most of the married couples that i know.. But if they were living in Asia, i would've said that they shouldn't waste another day to get married and be together.

[@Slapdatknee]

G.C You mean: “like if you think Java should bring the rings in the wedding” 👰 💕

[@samevans1289]

@R V It's not _all_ business. You make it seem as if _the only_ reason people marry nowadays is (somehow) money. People have different sets of values and priorities, and as a person who doesn't believe in marriage (I'm assuming based on your comment) you should be the first to understand that, as your views on marriage aren't exactly mainstream. The institution of marriage started as a business anyway so it's not that big of a deal if both the people involved in it treat it as such in our times. Our times and the recent history are the closest marriage has come to being performed out of love since its inception anyway imo. I myself am of the opinion that marriage and being in a committed, loving, mature and serious relationship, forming a team, are not inclusive, just as not being married but having that type of relationship are not mutually exclusive. But even I can see it also has good parts, and so I can completely understand why people with a different mindset than mine would value getting married so much. :)

[@bayanzz949]

Fav channel to watch

[@cdssussex]

We are a deaf/hearing relationship as well and we have a similar approach - we remind outselves that we need to own our feelings; no one can make us feel in a certain way, we do that to ourselves. That is where we need to be honest with each other about what those feelings represent and find a way to express ourselves, which might be a need, a frustration, a disappointment, and so on. Also, the 'don't b'ame' is true for us too - we talk about the problem, and not ascribe the problem to a person. Thanks for your wisdom.

[@rebecawaiteman1203]

This is one of the best videos of relationship tips I have ever seen

[@SignDuoChannel]

beca waitemanm thanks we really appreciate that

[@DechenVlogs101]

GOD shouldve made everyone to learn sign language first and then speak.. its so beautiful.. you look at each other and talk.. you actually feel more connected. So beautiful

[@marieclaire6734]

Java’s captions is the cutest thing in the world ahhhh

[@SignDuoChannel]

Ellen can understand exactly what Java is thinking haha

[@salieghbell5241]

that was such amazing, well spoken advice! love your guys videos

[@SignDuoChannel]

Thanks Saliegh!

[@KennDawg__]

I was just looking at the dog the whole time

[@SignDuoChannel]

ItsKennKASMR cutest dog lol

[@allisoncole1616]

Thank you for being vulnerable!!

[@SignDuoChannel]

of course Allison

[@pixxie102]

Java is growing so fast!!!! Great video guys!

[@SignDuoChannel]

Thanks Natasha!

[@lizzygracexo3056]

What I’m trying to learn is when you communicate with anyone you should try your best to speak words that are true, kind, and helpful. P.s. love the videos. thank you both for opening my eyes about different but very important situations.

[@makimanucat4885]

I actually just memorized the alphabet and I want to learn more! I’ve only been subscribed to sign duo for a week but I’m in love with your videos already!💞

[@SignDuoChannel]

You should totally learn more!