I Asked You to Be HONEST About Your Dating Behaviors. Here’s What I Learned…

►► Pre-Order Your Copy of My New Book, Love Life, at. . .
→ www.LoveLifeBook.com
▼
Don’t Miss Out! Subscribe to my KZbin channel now.
I post new love life advice for you every weekend.
►► FREE Video Training: “Dating With Results” → www.DatingWithResults.com
▼ Get My Latest Dating Tips and Connect With Me… ▼
Blog → www.matthewhussey.com/blog/
Facebook → / coachmatthewhussey
Instagram → / thematthewhussey
Twitter → / matthewhussey
▼ Connect with Stephen ▼
KZbin → bit.ly/StephenHusseyKZbin
Instagram → bit.ly/StephenHusseyIG

[@stephenhussey]

They said I'd never be back...

[@musicmonkey80]

Who are they?? 😂

[@WendySalima]

The Real Stephen Hussey is back! kzbin.info/www/bejne/lZfLdYmMm6p_qa8

[@laurodren]

No one has never said that 😹

[@kristinevans4119]

Love seeing you Stephen! ❤

[@garyblake3302]

Showed them

[@rayssapop]

Cannot even begin to tell how your videos have helped for the last ten years! I've evolved so much from not expressing myself out of fear of losing people and things to fully owning what I want, who I am and what I need. The level of people I'm attracting has been drastically changing too as a result. I feel closer to finding the right connection and more empowered to make it strong.

[@alfa1210productions]

That's great to hear! I hope you're able to maintain the new skills you've acquired and develop them further so you can keep getting the rewards that come with them.😄

[@bundlewade]

Matthew may have misunderstood the jealousy question at first, but I'm SO GLAD they kept his comments in there. That was so insightful and I needed to hear about the life jealousy part, and how he broke it all down and explained it. That really helps.

[@obiblooze5902]

Audrey is great! So good to have a woman's perspective.

[@Brianna-yh7iy]

Yes!

[@johannacallaghan1623]

She's fantastic. She's articulate, honest, compassionate and brings a fresh perspective

[@christinewright9215]

I'm always told I'm needy just because I like affection.

[@JustBeingAwesome]

you're dating the wrong person. Date someone who's love language is physical affection.

[@cornwallismorgan874]

Then they're rejecting the part of themselves that likes affection. Affection is a very beautiful thing, and no one should be shamed for liking it.

[@angelwings6193]

thats cos its a convenient excuse for their ambivalence,,,,,,,,, lose the losers,,,,,, you deserve so much better,,,,,,,, slam the door shut,,,,,, dont worry that always come back and whimper,,,,,, slam it harder n block block block,,,,,,,,

[@mynamesnotonthelist]

I attract toxic people because I don't love myself enough to walk away as soon as I see the first red flags

[@garythomas4936]

AVOID WOMEN! It’s over… they are just NOT worth it.

[@leslienoel6909]

I certainly resonate with the last one. I always try so hard not rock the boat in fear of being viewed as too needy or high maintenance.

[@amyhoover9]

My worst habits in a nutshell have a lot to do with my self-image issues. Being kind to myself is something I'm starting to get better at, but now I'm starting to project and judge too much because of the values that I'm trying to uphold for myself. It's just not easy for me to care less and be more compromising for the sake of the relationship, and this is how my anger festers itself in ways that make me feel like the toxic one 😓

[@EmmaLouHMup]

Such a helpful discussion. Thank you guys. Matt your responses & knowledge on these subjects are just so on point, I hope the launch of your new book is a huge success 👍

[@samanthab9297]

Thanks for all of your useful insight as always Matthew. I’m definitely going to take that free course, much appreciated 😊

[@sarablackwolfdancer9359]

Limerence is my worst damaging behavior. It had better be in the past!

[@ameliasavage4307]

Matthew thank you for this video it helped me. I've been here in my life

[@karolinah12]

Jealousy & envy are different concepts . However, comparison is the stealer of joy 😊 Matthew responds male brain perspective (envy due to competitiveness ), but Katie spoke of jealous insecurity 😂 i overcame both by realising that entertaining negative thoughts is a most unhelpful pattern that might just push us into the fire.

[@coutureleotards]

This was a great conversation and its clear that humans are seeking healing snd positive change. The courages people who shared shows us that we do recognize behaviors in ourselves that are keeping us from being our best selves. I hate to sound trending but I do believe after listening deeply to this conversation. We are adults and our childhood and past cannot be changed. I do believe digging deep with a therapist about high emotional situations, the ones you remember like it was yesterday as a child. Need to be aired out as an adult. Our brains remember high emotions and thats why we remember vividly those moments. We need to address that inner child and deeply understand thise moments to free up the adult capacity to make clear decisions. Without the fear of past situations and Limerance ❤ Peace

[@marcmoreno4500]

The best! Thank you

[@melimevivzla]

Happy you're back Stephen ❤ against all odds 😂

[@carolzaher2655]

Mathew, you look a little down, hope you're doin ok ❤

[@sihr07]

I do the vicious circle of pushing people away then being needy 😅 Correction, I did. I’ve become way more aware of myself and my needs and Matthew’s content has made a massive difference in it ❤

[@beneaththeflowers9818]

Same 😢

[@2ndChanceAtLife]

Too much texting. Not enough REAL communication. Stopping this.

[@coutureleotards]

Have you seen the video of the 8 month old who had a full tantrum when they took the phone away from him. We are all trying to figure out how to go back to Face to Face. Your not alone ❤ Peace

[@alfa1210productions]

It's within your control to text less and connect more in real life. Perhaps you're already doing this, but you can, for example, purely use texting for making appointments to meet up. Make it hap'n cap'n!

[@bindicat9070]

I can’t wait for my surprise gift to myself 😆 Pre ordered your book! Thanks to all the team! I didn’t think I had jealously but have I last relationship! Has made me self reflect and have accepted myself! I want a healthy relationship with very rich and real things as Audrey commented! Great point!

[@cassiestevens8382]

Thanks to all 3 of you.❣️

[@PeterJulius]

Good video!!

[@browserflowers]

Cant waiitt 4 de bookkk!!! 😎

[@coutureleotards]

Why they have Translate to English under this 😂😂😂 We know what you said ❤ Peace

[@suezettehollinger9804]

This was a great conversation. It does remind me that I often think I am a better "catch" because I am low maintenance. Or, does that sound like a pattern that I am on that is not a good one. Hmmm.

[@user-nz4ig8rv6h]

I was looking to pre-order your book, however there is not such option for India. All the best with your new launch.

[@bakemono716]

It’s one thing to find other people attractive when you are in a relationship, another thing to be vocal and act on it.

[@amiramahgoub]

Jealous can develop and be a dieses. I know in fact after many relationships. I have to stop beeing jealous of my partner and build my own confidence and self-esteem

[@furiosaningveryserious7104]

I love Audrey… mathew could you let Audrey share more of her thoughts on things ? She is very grounded with beautiful sense of self. I feel her insights would benefit girls greatly. Also her feminine energy is magnetic. We can all learn from her ❤

[@angelwings6193]

soon after connecting with someone, we often get doubts and fears of losing this person, of course they arent yours they belong to themselves and it Can happen, however,, this is due to the newness, and the fact that your connection is still not deep enough to determine will we be together or not, will he leave me etc? these are normal fears, after all who wants to share their loved one? Nobody, hence the fear of cheating and losing. the things is to stay grounded in the present, and to have faith, get to know this person, check to see if they have the same values, and morals aligned to yours,,,,,,,, my opinion only hugs to all !

[@roxanabusuioc5957]

an episode on the needs please 🥺

[@hadiza1]

🌸🦄🌸 Sitting!

[@timothycardoso1364]

The word they are using shouldn't be jealousy. The word, the dynamic they are talking about is being possessive of someone.

[@rockywheelwright7839]

I think most women are told they’re needy when they have needs, and then you get these women that have no identity of who they are or what their relationship is. Or you get women who are overly independent and they start acting more like men, sleeping around casually and are very callous towards someone else’s needs. I’m not saying every woman or man is like this, I’m just saying in my experience this is the majority.

[@rauooosh]

The thinking about those that don't choose us, I think it goes deeper into the mental struggle of, are we the problem because we keep finding someone who doesn't work out? Do we continually choose certain types of people that are destined to fail? Also if everyone around you seems to be finding their person, and you can't, you feel like a failure. Especially too if that person then moves on quickly to someone else and treats them the way you wish they had treated you. Then people tend to look back on the why, and how could they choose someone else and it suddenly works for that other person, and not you.

[@harvinderchaddha1479]

19.42 they just had their first public fight 😂

[@MetaPhysStore0770]

I see some couples have one person that "people pleases" to outsiders or ext. family but acts critical or irritated or dependent (big kid) with the partner, causes jealous reactions?

[@Isndbrbwhoxnenso]

Is there anything I can say or do

[@user-qq5pu5xc6o]

I'm not a jelleous person. I dont compare myself to others. I do expect my lover to have the decency to respect me. Regardless of how long he has been with me. That is not to have sex with the exlovers or whoever that may be, thats not me. Once he cheated. Its over. Not only that I disrespect him, but I would dump him. I will make sure that he, his people will remember for life, to never disrespect me or any other woman again!

[@Yeodoongiiie]

i mean if i may give a suggestion... 🌺 ... why is stephen or audrey there...if it's only matthew talking. :) if you are going to do a joined podcast, i would love to hear everyone talk equally. but that's just my opinion. of course i love matthews takes on things, it's HIS channel. but then, why let others join, if they barely talk.

[@wongilank]

Yup, agree

[@claudiayd]

It felt more like he was being interviewed

[@emicb999]

Hi Matthew Do you have a video on something like: signs he’s losing interest or falling out of love for a LONG term relationship (5+ years) A lot of videos I watched seemed like their geared to new or developing couples

[@emicb999]

My partner and I have broken up perhaps 3-4 times over 6.5 years. I know he stays because he feels bad that I love him a lot. But I want to see if there are signs he doesn’t love me back.

[@melimevivzla]

If you don't feel loved then you don't feel loved. He's not meeting your needs. Try to ask yourself if staying in a relationship where your needs are not met is okay in the long term. I wish you find the clarity you seek ❤

[@WorldTraveler29]

If you've broken up so many times during your relationship, it's either signs of a toxic, mismatched or unhealthy relationship. Doesn't mean either of you is a bad person, it's just clear that you are not right for each other. Don't waste your life waiting to see if someone truly loves you... if you have to ask yourself that question, it's already clear that you are not loved the way you need. So move on. Thank him for the experience so far and the lessons learned and close the chapter with him. You need to end what Doesn't work, in order to start something better for you.

[@HolaLola-ro1us]

I would love that free training how can I find it?

[@taraguajardo6609]

The repeating habit I have, is committing. Always thinking there might be someone better for me. Focusing on the small flaws, blowing those flaws up, then that leads into, well there has got to be someone better...I am so tired of doing this destruction to myself and my relationships. I need help on my destruction pattern.

[@cecilang9721]

What you are saying is you create and enhance flaws in others so you can break up with them? That’s projection. You have to leave them because it’s their fault, not yours? That’s a pretty toxic defense mechanism. Possibly to leave them before they leave you. So it keeps you more powerful in the dynamic. I hope you aren’t hurting and damaging people in your search for something better. To move ahead, just maybe move on more quickly and gracefully. It’s ok that not every attempt is going to result in a love match. It doesn’t have to be somebody’s fault and it doesn’t have to devolve until they are wrong so that you can be right.

[@NerdlySquared]

Sometimes it’s better not to subject other people to someone that moves like this, they certainly deserve “someone better” than that.

[@karenlanghor3249]

I preordered on Amazon in Canada and didn’t get any gifty stuff links.

[@tayl2991]

I guess my worst is I text A LOT

[@2ndChanceAtLife]

Me too. Breaking this habit.

[@natalie.natalie.natalie]

Not feeling safe.

[@HolaLola-ro1us]

When you start talking to somebody online or like Facebook dating and all they wanna do is text yes they were hurt in the previous relationship but they say they are very private person and they don’t want to talk on the phone where I’m a phone person. what do you think about that?

[@chrischris9718]

Make sure it’s not a scammer 😅 texting without calls or meet ups for an extended period of time is a big red flag ❤

[@coutureleotards]

I think they are not trust worthy at all. Women need to feel they can trust men very early in the phases of building a relationship. Be very suspicious, either he has a committed relationship and hiding behind text or he is a dark triad.

[@googleuser-one]

Clear RED FLAG! most scammers will not take calls Or FaceTime you… it’s a fictitious person behind the text.. RUN ! RUN FAST AND DONT SEND THEM $$!

[@angelwings6193]

in the section of the dating w results it offer me a choice of in a few min, im dead tired,,,,,,, or 12AM est or 2AM est,,,,,,,, does this mean midnight or 2 am or does it mean noon and 2 pm,?? is this an error,,,,,,? cos gosh i got to be much earlier and am past bedtime as it is,,,,, thank you in advance id love to attend,,,,,,, at a resonable time of course,,,,,,,,, but im long gone the 2AM thing,,,,,, hahah that was in m y disco days , even then midnight i was like cinderella,,,,,,,,,,,,,, hahaha TYIA

[@HerbaceousEarth]

I was the one who gave it my all in a relationship and too soon. My last relationship lasted 2 months and really hurt. However, it was a very good lesson for me to learn. That was 7 months ago and I've started dating again. I've found that I can't be arsed to any effort in with anyone on a romantic level now. Is is normal to feel like that? Am I actually done with dating ?! 🤷🏼‍♀️

[@NerdlySquared]

Doesn’t really sound like you are dating, just going through the motions and wasting time.

[@jeanandersonlscsw2550]

If a woman feels loved and cherished by their man there is less jealousy. BUT … if a man looks at other women in a disrespectful way to his spouse that is very valid. My experience with a Narcissist was interesting. This man purposely looked at other women sexually when with me to see if he could get a reaction from me. This is very sick .

[@livingcolours7401]

First one to comment. Love your videos. 🥰

[@MaricellitaCleobit-qb2gv]

JA!JA! guys drama nyo! come over talk to me in personal and practice the dance i said...

[@RebornDollsbySara]

But seriously this time: he’ll never be back.

[@viiiRA_]

I concur with Stephen, I also see myself as an underdog and thrive under pressure, or rather I "wake up" so I'll fulfill Stephen's desire and oppress him. You'll never be back on this podcast, Stephen!

[@drkarenbukharibukhari9931]

Owas 🎉

[@trevorm9551]

Matt, you need to pick a short hair style, or a long hair style. Not inbetween. Love you 😘

[@MrAllysonn]

😅

[@caglabatur]

ahaha this video has a lower view! of course no one wants to face it 😅

[@lisagarza9510]

I've been told that being straightforward, independent, and honest is intimidating to many men. Why? I see it as being genuine and if the guy doesn't feel they can be also or they don't feel worthy, they don't even try to be a better person themselves. Like many men don't want to even try.

[@coutureleotards]

Sis, men see this behavior as masculine and hard to manage. When women are assertive there are one of two things running through their minds. 1. She's going to out pace me in earnings, goals and potential and I know I can't keep up. He hardly knows his own ambition, goals and potential and is certainly not a leader with experience to handle your straightforward character. 2. She will be difficult to submit. Which is equally concerning because it's also a lack of leadership and understanding how to Love your help mate and not be a tyrant or dictator. I dont blame men or women for our current lak of understanding of dating. Men's bad behavior was corrected in the 1800's-1900's treating females as property. Then it fell off a cliff during the Free sezz movement 🤔. Today we are all basically trying to figure out what " normal" is in the midst of chaos. Women make more than men these days at a high rate and more women are raising children alone. Yet, men are still look for traditional wives but when those same wives who did everything for them go through menopause they are absent in care taking🤓. Only the true leaders of men have and will understand understand how to adjust to this chaos and " modern" living. If our male managers and CEO's can figure it out in an organization, there's a male leader relationship who can do the same. Stay in the game and keep your personal boundaries and picker strong....he's out there somewhere ❤Peace

[@lemurpotatoes7988]

"Independent" is often a code word for treating male partners badly, as if a woman has no obligations to them and is only out for a contractual exchange. Honesty and straightforwardness are great, but most people who say they're that aren't. It generally is not a good investment for men you feel are inadequate to try becoming a better person in your eyes. If you think men don't work ludicrously hard to improve themselves, though, then you're delusional. You come across as though you are high maintenance while insisting you are low maintenance, meaning you're not honest, and you have little empathy for men. I would stop talking to you if we started talking on an app.

[@lisagarza9510]

@@lemurpotatoes7988 you sure do make a lot of assumptions on people you don't know. If you view "independent" as a negative then you're one that's part of the problem. Being patriarchal is condescending and offensive. I'll wager you have negative associations with independent women. Smh many men lack the awareness to improve their emotional intelligence and don't look within because they're afraid of what they'll see. Pity that you have a lot of negativity around independent strong women who don't emotionally break down often. Hope you find enlightenment someday and pull yourself out of the negative shadows.

[@cornwallismorgan874]

I can't speak for men, but I can speak for myself as a lesbian. I appreciate honesty and the ability to speak her truth with me so we can work together to have our needs met. I also appreciate genuine independence and her ability to do her own thing, while we have things we do together. The problem, however, is that most women actually hide behind these stated traits and use them as a way to misidentify bullying, abusive behavior. "I'm honest/straightforward" usually translates to "I'm verbally abusive and lack empathy." "I'm independent" translates to "I'm not interested in fostering a trusting, mutually beneficial relationship with you, and just want to do whatever I want with no consideration for how it affects you." And this is confirmed by incongruent behavior. She says she possesses adult behaviors like honesty, independence, and straightforwardness, but in reality she possesses childish behaviors like blame-shifting, manipulation, deceit, selfishness, and bullying. So for me, it's not that I feel I'm not worthy of an honest, straightforward, independent woman; it's quite the opposite. I would kill for a woman like this. But the thing is, I'm worthy of a woman who holds herself accountable for maturing as a woman, genuinely gives a damn about me, and is serious about working towards a future with me, not someone who covers abusive, counterdependent behaviors with traits she doesn't actually possess. When I run across a woman who says she's honest and straightforward but is actually abusive, or who actually lies instead of telling me the truth, I just leave. That crap is beneath me and it's not energy I allow in my life.

[@amyhoover9]

I feel like this same concept can be applied to other relationships that aren't romantic... there's a reason why I tend to avoid most, if not all, forms of feminism. It's difficult for women to be nice and encouraging towards each other, and I'm not saying that just for the sake of it. I know my faults and weaknesses... I know that I'm not the best at remaining positive sometimes. Encouraging myself and being kind to myself with no one else around isn't easy sometimes, but what's even more difficult for me is holding space for my other friends and not being too harsh on them.

[@yeuruuerueeheue]

Too hyper independent, avoidant 🤪🥲