I Discovered My Wife Has Been Getting A Co-Worker To Spy On Me At Work r/Relationships

[@KCanbutwont]

"Who is Heather to you?" AN INNOCENT WOMAN ROPED INTO YOUR DELUAIONAL FANTASY??!!

[@Treveyon2010]

RIGHT!!! The wife acts as if it is not normal to NOT want an innocent person to falsely be accused of something.

[@pragatisingh8467]

@@Treveyon2010 "you dont want me to bully and harass this woman at her new job? YOU MUST BE CHEATING ON ME WITH HER" what a fucking psycho

[@tallyp.7643]

The fact that she basically also said that Kate will back her up and accuse Heather of wrongdoing and get her fired, doubling down on this mess, made my blood run cold. I would've gone beyond "work this out" to "cold fury" in moments if I was OP when hearing that. The wife doesn't care who she hurts... just like the bullies she supposedly despised so much in school. She has met the enemy, and it is herself now.

[@HodajuciParadoks]

Because she is evil and does not get why would anyone want good for strangers and why would they protect a stranger...because it is a good thing to do, you feel empathy...that is why. She clearly has no empathy, no matter how the wife looks, she is ugly inside... @@Treveyon2010

[@Liliana-ek2zp]

I would've said "I don't even know her middle name, she's a coworker!"

[@yaqbulyakkerbat4190]

Psycho alert. Ditch the wife and RUN. This ain't gonna improve. And Kate needed serious consequences. This was outright harassment

[@Davtwan]

Yeah, I don’t think there’s much to salvage left for OP. Mid-life is too short for this circus. At her age, the wife will need months or even years of therapy to work out her mental baggage. She should have gotten help sooner rather than later for her school-bullying issues. Now that she grew up with all that damage, she’s now damaged herself. I don’t think OP is going to stay with her much longer now that the fallout at work is unavoidable. His patience is probably worn as thin as a rubber band now. Poor guy. I hope help like Bryan continues to support OP.

[@fandomfan2800]

nope

[@TheDesertFox1940]

@@fandomfan2800 what are you saying “nope” to?

[@CRSB00]

​@@TheDesertFox1940ignore it, just a troll

[@TheDesertFox1940]

@@CRSB00 probably, but I’m never sure.

[@browhattheactualfu-2659]

God I feel for Heather. I can't imagine how frustrating it is to get treated like she was a homewrecker or some shit because a co-worker, who she barely had a friendship with, has a wife who refuses to deal with her insecurities in a healthy way. All that damn hostility and she's just there to do her damn job.

[@peterhobson3262]

ESH except for Heather, who's an innocent bystander. Valerie sucks because of her insecurity and hatred of Heather. Kate sucks for spying on two co-workers. OP sucks for not noticing serious warning signs and not acting sooner.

[@katta309]

@@peterhobson3262 i 100% agree but OP should also get some hate on him for not going to HR about Kate spying and letting HR know about the issue in the first place

[@SailorMya]

@@katta309 He just wants to bury his head now that it is "done"... How spineless do you have to be??? He doesn't want to take accountability for his part in any of this so he is going to let Heather take ALL the consequences of his wife's actions... Of course he is minimalizing his part in this it is his side only after all...

[@impishrebel5969]

@@peterhobson3262 Yeah let's see how much YOU pick up when there's literally no Bryan to come tell you something's going down. That's not his fault if he's focusing on his JOB like the rest should be. OP did nothing wrong, OP wasn't the one that caused the problem, and OP shouldn't have to be the one to fix it. Heather should be going to HR and telling them about the harrassment Kate's been pulling on her. He's not responsible for his wife's actions or Kate's either.

[@davidnash8208]

@@impishrebel5969 Typical blame the male syndrome. No matter what women do, there must be a man somewhere to take the blame or at least part of it.

[@Andrea.S.Alvey12]

Op should have asked his wife how it felt. How it feels to turn from the bullied into the bully.

[@robertx8020]

I bet you that she will NEVER see it like that! "I just wanted to stop her from cheating with you "

[@nela3986]

Absolutely

[@jackspring7709]

Good point.

[@ghost-husband]

right?? I feel like she's the type of person to just deflect from that tho

[@heatheraucoin5832]

Buuuurrrrrrnnnnn- Kelso

[@diarradunlap9337]

Story 1: OP needs to file for divorce for emotional abuse; Heather needs to sue the ever-loving crap out of Kate, and HR needs to FIRE Kate

[@treehouse2902]

Yes, OP needs to go to HR and recount the whole story to protect Heather from future accusations. No doubt the wife and Kate will get together to punish OP and Heather once one loses her job and the other her marriage.

[@GrumpyOldFart2]

@@treehouse2902Yes! I really wish Op had gone to HR and reported Kate. Now I know that HR is really not the employee’s friend and more there for the employer, but as many, many other Reddit posts have said, you frame the complaint so that you’re concerned the damage it will do to the company. He could have talked about how Kate’s actions made for a very hostile workplace, that it was essentially harassment of an innocent employee. And now his department lost a decent worker.

[@TheEDFLegacy]

There's also the fact that Kate could retaliate against OP. And even if she didn't, Heather very well might report what happened as part of the transfer.

[@mayallyourbaconburn]

I think Kate needs some therapy too. She still is implying that Heather is a home wrecker even when she has seen with her own two damn eyes that nothing even remotely close to romance has happened between OP and Heather. If anyone is coming between the marriage, ITS HER!!! She reminds me of the friend from that one story of the wife and new mother who committed self deletion because her “friend” kept whispering in her ear lies that her husband finds her ugly and he’s cheating. So freakin gross.

[@carlrood4457]

She's probably one of those toxic "friends" who like spreading drama.

[@thomasjoseph5876]

There has to be more going on than the OP is telling us. Otherwise, why would he stay with someone that has the ability to become a sneaky, treacherous, bully who would even pull in others to help her??? I am willing to bet the OP isn't the poor innocent "babe in the woods" victim he is portraying himself as. There had to be some serious reason his wife, who he claims is such a great person, went to this extreme psycho act. It may have still been "innocent" on the OP's and Heather's part, but there had to be much more than the OP let us onto whether it was just the "optics" of everything or there were some inappropriate actions by the OP and/or Heather that Kate saw and passed onto OP's wife. I think his guilt led him to lash out and write this story on Reddit to alieve some of it. Maybe the OP knows if left unchecked, he or Heather might have escalated things. The problem with these types of stories is "WHO KNOWS" what really did or was going to happen. We only have one side of the issue/incident to go off of and that one side is usually biased, whether slightly, or as I suspect in this case, more heavily. In every case, there are 3 sides to every story, his side, her side, and the truth. I just don't see how the OP could stay with someone that did what she did and her justification for it when everything is said and done IF the story is exactly how he says it is. That's why I don't believe the OP is being completely truthful with us.

[@TheBlueDsc]

@@thomasjoseph5876 It's because people can be extremely stupid when it comes to the person they're in love with. It's like a quote I saw once, it was something along the lines of: "The problem with wearing rosy glasses is red flags just look like flags"

[@pragatisingh8467]

@@thomasjoseph5876 we aren't supposed to judge the validity of the story, just the story, on face value. ANY and EVERY reddit story could be fake like that, it's literally pointless. Also, controlling people don't really need a reason to be controlling. My aunt was pretty much stalked by her ex husband the entire time they were married, she had NEVER given him a single reason to believe she would cheat. The victim blaming is sick honestly.

[@TheDesertFox1940]

@@thomasjoseph5876 if he was trying to hide something, why would he write the story in the first place? Moreover, the story is not inconsistent. Remember, he chose to stay with his wife when he thought the issue was resolved, and that it had not effected the working environment. The fact that Kate was working there did not matter to him, because he made it clear to her that they would only have a professional relationship from then on. It wasn’t until he found out what Kate said to Heather and that Heather had requested a transfer that it became an issue. As for why OP didn’t divorce his wife after discovering the extent of her distrust, he may have strong feelings regarding the sanctity of marriage. Not to mention he can still choose to end the relationship if she refuses to attend therapy or does not improve.

[@kimsvisualdiary]

In the end the wife got what she wanted: heather is gone. This story always frustrated me because the OP should’ve gone to HR about Kate and not let his wife off so easily.

[@Feynix4]

I don’t know if I’m thinking of another similar story but at one point I watched a video from someone else where there were two updates from OP and the second update was that he went to HR and reported Kate for the spying and harassing Heather. I’m pretty sure there was a second update to this story at some point.

[@jjm152]

I don't know what you think this is going to accomplish other than exposing OP's ass for his wife's actions. Even then, this is super dubious - it's not like anyone did anything "wrong", unless you want to consider that being a gossip is a fireable offense in most workplaces (It's not).

[@joshuaagbettor5610]

​@jjm152 Well it's objectively espionage so I wouldn't say that no one did anything wrong.

[@DanniSoRude]

Picture it: Memphis, 2019 My male coworker dropped the new girl off at home because they literally live around the corner from each other and the bus ride is almost an hour (only 20 minutes by car) His GF blew a fuse and proceeded to stalk him after work ..... The new female coworker was a happily married lesbian with 2 kids, a dog, and a goldfish 😂 He left her

[@fallingawayfromthenorm]

I love a good Sophia Petrillo intro lol, but that’s wild and I don’t blame your coworker for leaving his girlfriend. 🤣

[@DanniSoRude]

​@@fallingawayfromthenormthank you 😊 and so were we! She was weird anyway 😂

[@luxetea6024]

OP doesn't have to apologize to Heather, he legitimately did nothing wrong. His wife is....................... divorce. Divorce. DIVORCE.

[@Kumo5980]

That should be her punishment for her insecurities Because OP may have absolved the problem, but The damage is done! Heather transferred The workplace looked as OP as that guy And saying sorry won’t fix ANYTHING the damage is beyond repair Either OP quits the job or OP Divorced his wife Or even BOTH!

[@leafyishereisdumbnameakath4259]

I mean OP still has to apologize and explain

[@AndyyWithAY]

No the wife most definitely needs individual therapy. That needs to be a non-negotiable. Her insecurities lead to her indulging in at least crime-adjacent activities. Not sure if this qualifies as stalking or some other crime, but it's at least very close to a crime.

[@Azulakayes]

That's why dealing with people who have low self-esteem issues so annoying. I would rather deal with a flamboyant attention-seeker than this.

[@335chr]

@@Azulakayes Flamboyant attention-seekers are also people with low self-esteem issues

[@akoilngas1215]

If we can agree that Kate committed a crime against Heather, then we can be sure that the wife, Valerie, conspired in the planning of that crime. That's criminal. Imagine a man doing this to a woman. There would be no "look at it this way" from absolutely insane idiots on reddit. Everyone sane would be immediately advising the woman to run from the man. This is absolutely an easy gender-flipped situation where the hypocrisy of many redditors is revealed.

[@Mizzybelle.]

​@@Azulakayesthat's the same kind of attitude that makes OPs wife so bitter and horrible. "These people have x qualities, therefore they will do y, so I will treat/refer to them like z"

[@jjm152]

WTF is a "crime-adjacent" activity? This is some seriously creepy doublespeak. This woman, while morally wrong, just engaged in *gossip* with one of OP's coworkers. That's it. As far as we know, there was no outright harassment of Heather and it wasn't until the VERY END of the story that we even get a hint of communication about the situation to her via Kate. It's all very basic b!itch petty behavior that a lot of women engage in and doesn't rise to the level of even being in the neighborhood of "crime-adjacent" (whatever the f that means). Don't get me wrong - OP's wife is a fruitloop, but that's about where it starts and ends.

[@Tyanna01]

Story 1: Kate needs to lose her job. OP's wife is psycho for sure, but Kate brought this drama into the office and went out of her way to make Heather feel unwelcome and she created a hostile work environment for the team. She is not someone you want on your team. OP should go to HR, get ahead of this...b/c I assure you once it comes out WHY Heather transferred HR will get involved. OP needs to go and be straight what happened and hang Kate out to dry. She is a liability to the company.

[@paulagoeringer9466]

🎯

[@jakemarie828]

$180/week is expensive, and on a camping lot bathrooms/showers are often free. When my in-laws stayed on our land, we charged them $100/month and they had free water no question. Seems like sister is grifting OP because she isn't getting help from her husband.

[@stirrednotshaken4823]

Yea, that computes to $780/month. That’s not far from rent on an apartment in my area, so they could save themselves some hassle and get a little more room and luxuries renting instead of staying in the camper dealing with SIL’s drama!

[@paulagoeringer9466]

She just wants free servants. Don't give in to that or one little chore becomes a hundred before you know it. All so she can pass off all of her chores onto kids.

[@yourmom2189]

@@stirrednotshaken4823in my area a very small 1Bd or large studio is over $1000/mo. And in some areas renting an RV space can be as much as $800/mo. So, $180/wk isn’t that much, but it should come with additional costs, like manual labor. The SIL is definitely trying to put the blame on someone else to avoid the reality of the situation. Her husband is a bum and her kid is taking advantage of the situation. If I was OP (I’m conflict avoidant) I would try to not use their home at all, even if that meant more work for me. Get the composting toilet and outdoor shower if they can.

[@charliesangel1]

That upset me to unspeakable levels these two children not women children bullied this young woman out of her position. All because one couldnt get over her anger jealousy and just trust her man. From reading this OP never gave her a reason not to trust him.

[@juanhaines7295]

Story 1 I heard this one before. I would have reported the co-worker to HR and filed for divorce.

[@MarkNarrations]

Just felt sorry for Heather in it, totally innocent and bullied out of her position.

[@Batman-lg2zj]

I wouldn’t even file for divorce .

[@bbjjbb61]

Wasn't there more to this story or am I confusing it with something else? I thought the wife actually did something else a bit psycho after that? I'm going to look.

[@MarkNarrations]

@@bbjjbb61 I couldn't find anymore, the update itself was recovered as it was deleted previously. Let me know if you come up with anything.

[@Jogeta5]

@@bbjjbb61 Please update if you find anything else.

[@LilFeralGangrel]

I don't see how a relationship could survive this, like OP really wants to save the relationship but how could you trust someone after something like this? I dunno, I know I can't. But I also think Kate should be fired and charges should be brought against OP's wife and Kate. this is criminal harassment.

[@robertx8020]

And should we really believe this was a 'one time thing' ? No way! The next time a girl/woman gets hired this idiot will start her game again! RUN!

[@diarradunlap9337]

Agreed.

[@MrBeevee5]

Doesn't criminal harassment has to have something concrete, like a scratched car? Not sure, just "looking" is criminal.

[@LilFeralGangrel]

​@@MrBeevee5 i'm genuinely tired of getting replies from people who clearly didn't pay attention to the story.

[@TheRockinDonkey]

@@MrBeevee5sounds stalking to me

[@jaydee_0079]

RE: Spied on at work OP should have gone to Kate and said, "I'm visiting my lawyer today" When she asks what that has to do with her answer, "So you can report on it." And then visit the lawyer.

[@ailinfergan]

Banger

[@TriXJester]

Dude even after being told to stop and back off that coworker STILL stirred the shit with Heather. God after that, I'd of gone to HR and a divorce attorney. How do people let themselves be treated this way by other astounds me.

[@DragonbornMike-ym2er]

Story 2: I think adding the kids to chores that are actually related to what they use in the house would be fair. But this is the kinda thing that would cause me to not accept help from someone since they're the type to use it against you.

[@tallyp.7643]

You made me think of one of my fave Michael Weston lines from that show, "Burn Notice" when talking about his mom: "Asking my mom for a favor is a lot like asking a Russian mob boss. They'll give you what you want with a smile, but believe me, you'll pay for it."

[@franciebelcher4594]

Last story. That comment about the SIL's 12 yo shouldn't be blamed for lying because she's a kid is absolutely ridiculous. 12 is definitely old enough to be blamed for lying. She knew what she said was wrong, and a good parent would address that and correct the girl's behavior

[@Grace_x68]

Agree 100% OP is going to regret the across-the-street living quickly with a spineless husband like hers

[@paulagoeringer9466]

Yes. Even a much younger child shouldn't be excused for lying. That behavior has to be stopped as young as possible or you're only teaching them that it's ok to lie. It's the same with any other bad behavior like biting, hitting, stealing, destroying things, etc. Stop it now or deal with the consequences forever. Bad habits are hard to break once they're ingrained from youth.

[@tallyp.7643]

Lies from children can destroy lives, especially at that age. They know how to deflect from their own behavior just enough and sound convincing (and then pull the innocent card because they couldn't POSSIBLY be conniving). Not saying this is a life-destroying lie or anything, but kids will lie to avoid getting in trouble. It's practically a law of nature. And if there's a convenient way to point the finger, they'll take it, even when they know they shouldn't. I have Truthful Tourettes--I can't lie to save my life (at least, not well and not for long). I had it put into me from some teaching, grandparent, maybe a parent that lying about something I did was gonna result in far-worse punishment than fessing up to some wrongdoing. And it was true. I hated The Lecture, and it lasted for ages when I was caught in a lie. If I messed up and then fessed up, I just dealt with it and maybe got grounded (before cell phones and computers, so really boring time). I'd take a week's grounding over a 2 hour lecture any time.

[@kampar82]

My younger daughter is 10. She can really easily differentiate between right and wrong, like a normal person...

[@Arimodu]

Agree with you 100%. its kinda hard to admit but I am kinda what happens when this behaviour is left unchecked, I dont want to go into detail but I whenever it comes to something like admiting fault or the like, I almost always pretty much reflexively jump straight to lying myself out of it. I am working on it but it is a slow process. Btw, I am 20, if that is relevant

[@Only1199]

Poor Heather, I'm sorry OP but you should have agreed for your wife to apologize to Heather and Kate should also have apologized as part of the agreement.

[@BruinPhD2009]

Normally, I would agree with you, but in this case I really think the less contact between these three women, the better. Two of them have already romped across the boundary between personal and professional behavior and this would only make it worse. Based on the responses from Kate and OP’s wife, I would seriously doubt the sincerity of any apology they might offer.

[@LadyBern]

I agree on the no apology. If she doesn't really see what she's done as wrong or understand the consequences of her actions and have empathy, it's just words and may later feel like she didn't have to.

[@Qyshawn]

​@@BruinPhD2009I think it's less sincerity and more acknowledgment/peace of mind.

[@karenrickert9430]

If you are living in a camper with a toilet and shower, set up a power pole and get the septic system set up and move over to your own property. Once that’s done the problems in the SIL’s house will become glaringly obvious.

[@jadadallas5891]

I know this is an old comment but some areas will not set up power poles for campers/rvs. I ran into this issue when I was living in a camper. It is allowed for specific types of businesses like rv parks but individual living situations. Idk if this is the case where OP lives.

[@Aziara86]

How is she insecure about being 'short' at 5' 4"? I'm 5' 6" and I feel like a towering giant next to most other women. 5'4" is exactly the national average.

[@eldeano9964]

I'm guessing it's an excuse, she's just insecure in general and projecting.

[@clarrie93]

I'm 30 years old and measured to 4' 11" lol my 15 and 13 y.o nieces are both taller than me..

[@messinalyle4030]

I know, right? Usually I hear about women feeling self-conscious about being tall, not being short. That and the whole thing of women feeling the need to have a boyfriend who is taller than they are--and guys who feel emasculated if they date taller women. Personally I think the whole height thing is ridiculous, but it does seem atypical for a woman to want to be taller.

[@truthseeker9249]

I'm about 5'2 and I feel like a shorty. My boyfriend is 5'10 so he towers over me.

[@AusExplorer]

What's even more stupid is that very few men find women being taller than themselves an attractive trait in and of itself. Most men prefer a woman shorter than themselves and the average height for men is around 175cm [5'9"]. Additionally, women generally prefer men who are taller than themselves too. Her insecurity is just that, hers. It's also illogical and unfounded.

[@carlrood4457]

OP's wife must be stunning, because there's no other way to tolerate that level of crazy.

[@robertx8020]

Unless you care about other things than just 'appearance'

[@ObsidianFaux]

Unless sex is that good Guys stay with the most horrible ugly personalities because of their appearance, sex or boobs

[@KashyaCharsi]

​@@robertx8020It's clearly not her personality. Maybe OP is afraid of her.

[@robertx8020]

@@KashyaCharsi maybe

[@kendra31]

So many people get bullied and ostracized for their looks, and it's not always because they're "ugly". Even the most beautiful person can be made to feel alone due to the insecurities of others, and honestly it probably happens a lot. Poor Heather...

[@paulagoeringer9466]

It's even worse when it's kids. I've seen kids bullied by their own parents, usually mothers, when the daughter is prettier than them. It's sick. I was told I was stupid, ugly, fat, worthless, etc by my I don't want to call her mother as she doesn't deserve the title, she was herself all those things. I've seen the horrible way other parents treated their kids too. It's heartbreaking what it does to them and that's just the verbal and emotional abuse. I won't get into the worse stuff.😢

[@motheroftears25]

Op's wife is ugly for being jealous over nothing! If she really wants to go there! Jealousy is a very ugly trait!

[@kaworunagisa4009]

Honestly, just being AFAB in a space with a lot of men can be excuse enough to be bullied. It's crazy how much crap women dish out at each other and people they perceive as "one of them" to "level the playing field". My transmasc NB butt is testament to that.

[@joeegnor658]

Best option would be to go to HR/bosses and fill them in. Ask them to apologize by proxy if they feel it’s appropriate.

[@WatsonAndDaughter]

This. If OP doesn't get ahead of it, it could be the end of his career.

[@tallyp.7643]

@@WatsonAndDaughter and if Kate is being stubborn and insists they did nothing wrong, she'll spread some crumbs of rumors for other people to pick up on, and that could follow Heather into another department.

[@Russman67]

Story 1: Valerie is taking insecure to a whole new freaking level. The stalking by Kate, the secret messages. All of this could break his and Heather's career. In the end Valerie goes to therapy but this damage is done.

[@JessicaCaldwell-ib2sm]

Sadly Heather's self esteem may have been damaged by these vindictive ladies as well. And for Valerie to say what do u care smh

[@paulagoeringer9466]

Yes. His reputation at work is toast and that could follow him for years to other jobs as well. Gossip spreads like wildfire and if it's in a particular small field of work, he's screwed.

[@hbomb0417]

How Ironic and pathetic that Valerie( The Wife) became the very people who bullied her in grade school, Bullies just create more Bullies I don't know how she can look at herself in the mirror and not see it herself.

[@janetdeloach8522]

2nd story, Sil is crazy.She is trying to get free labor. Her husband and daughter should clean up after themselves... I would rent a shower and rent a portable potty do they can't blame you any more. If your kids are innocent, the messy house is on Her side... Find orher arrangements abd save your bself some stress..

[@lorrainemontagnon1537]

Morning Mark! Today's is my granddaughters kindergarten graduation. I have to share this time with you and everyone first though. Luv to all!

[@MarkNarrations]

YAY! Congrats from the wafflegang to the little one on her graduation!!

[@skeleton_appreciator]

Hey, congratulations!

[@Andrea.S.Alvey12]

[youtube.com/@lorrainemontagnon1537] Congratulations from one grandmother to another! I think my granddaughter will graduate fifth grade next year? Her birthday is November and I'm honestly not sure where that puts her grade-wise. They've been doing the distance learning here for the last two school years and I've lost track? Are you going to the ceremony and/or party? 🎉

[@carolroberts4614]

I hope she has a lovely day! They grow up so fast, don't they!

[@OneFryShort4]

Congrats!🎉

[@Azulakayes]

Story 1: Does OP really want to stay in a relationship with this woman? Frankly being in a relationship with an insecure person is absolutely exhausting. That's why people are told time and time again to love themselves first before trying to love someone else. Today its Heather, tomorrow its some random blond woman on the street...it is maddening. Sorry for giving a typical reddit response but DIVORCE.

[@calicocritterscrafts886]

This isn’t just an insecurity issue this is also a maturity issue. The wife behaved like some idiotic teenager and no matter what help she gets that instinct to behave in that manner may NEVER go away.

[@paulagoeringer9466]

Yeah, she's waaay too old to act like that. I don't think therapy is going to do much for her. She's really stubbornly set in her ways and mindset. The fact that she went so far in the first place without any good reason is concerning. Op may want to check for air tags and other spy devices that check on his whereabouts. And on his computer and phone too. She sounds like a stage five clinger.

[@sophiescott143]

Story 1: Regardless of what the wife agreed to do after the fact (counseling et al), she did very much succeed in destroying OP's professional relationship with Heather and very likely destroyed all social and professional standing at his workplace. She very likely ruined his career there. And OP is just... staying with her. No. You ruined my career over petty bullshit, I would divorce you. Full stop.

[@CGossRunnn]

I would have brought Kate's harassment up to HR. This is a situation he needed to be actively get ahead on. Now his job is at risk because no one will want to work with someone's wife jealousy will lead to harassment at at their job

[@dangleen.hernia]

Why on earth would you want to stay with a woman who would even do that??? I'd be OUT THE DOOR if someone pulled that on me.

[@tallyp.7643]

The trouble is the wifey there is so set in her own thinking that if he left, she'd take THAT as an admission of guilt and accuse him of wanting to see Heather and cheat on her. This woman should never have gotten married if her insecurities are so bad she's gonna side-eye her husband all the time. Yikes. Guess she fooled herself into thinking she was beyond that a good long while before the green-eyed monster came out to play.

[@dangleen.hernia]

@@tallyp.7643 You have a point ... even so I wouldn't want to stay ...

[@stephaniebattison2334]

​@tallyp.7643 even so, I wouldn't feel safe if I was OP & staying with her.

[@tardislady9546]

Abusive MEN spy on their partners, but not one of you condemns MEN for such behaviour.

[@stephaniebattison2334]

@@tardislady9546 we do condemn men that do this. But this story was about a woman doing this behaviour. That's why our comments are about a woman. There's no man in this story to condemn.

[@WabbitHunter68]

Many years ago I used to work in a petrol station and would regularly chat with the taxi drivers. One of them told me that his wife was so jealous that she didn't want to compete with any children they may have and that he had to tell her that he wouldn't allow female passengers in his cab. The poor man clearly loved his wife but was miserable. It's no kind of life.

[@paulagoeringer9466]

It sounds like she would rather he was blind. How crazy is she? Is he allowed to watch tv? How about see billboards with women on them? How long can anyone put up with that?😮 He needs a friend to talk sense into him and she needs psychiatric help ASAP.

[@tallyp.7643]

Hope he got away from her. I wouldn't wish that kind of "love" on anyone. It's sick and twisted, and breaks you down psychologically.

[@WabbitHunter68]

@@tallyp.7643 I hope so too, but I left the job after 5 years and have no idea what happened to him.

[@WabbitHunter68]

@@paulagoeringer9466 This was about 30 years ago and therapy wasn't really a popular thing in the UK at that time. It was such a shame because he really was a sweet man.

[@paulagoeringer9466]

@@WabbitHunter68 I hope things turned out well for him. It's possible she got better. I hope so at least.

[@Heydodoakskdkdjf]

Oof. After hearing how Kate spoke to Heather i’d give her a THOROUGH chewing out, loudly, in front of other coworkers. May as well if the workplace is still hostile due to her BS.

[@eriibooo]

Honestly OP should have taken screenshots of those texts, explained everything to Heather, apologized, and then given her the screenshots. At least then she'd have some proof so she/they could report Kate to HR. If anyone should be leaving it's Kate that's seriously unhinged behavior to stalk and harasses 2 of your co-works then report back to his wife, insane. OP is also probably right that the reason for Heathers transfer will spread around the office except it won't be the truth, it'll be OP and Heather were having an affair and got caught, or Heather was trying to seduce OP and got caught. Either way OP is probably going to get a reputation that he's either a cheater, or flirty with other women, he'll probably end up transferring soon to if that happens.

[@paulagoeringer9466]

Kate should 100% be fired. She had absolutely no business harassing anyone, especially at work. At the very least she should be the one transferred with a warning to the new place about her behavior and her knowing that this is her last chance.

[@jimdob6528]

This behavior has cost a close friend a promotion and then got him demoted in the army.

[@charlotteemerson5050]

I think the spying coworker should be disciplined. She could have told OPs wife no spying. If they're good friends, she would let wife know if she saw husband literally doing something inappropriate. Kissing, handsy, etc. but nothing more.

[@paulagoeringer9466]

This. You can be a friend without being a creep. There's always some awful person who just loves to cause problems where there aren't any.

[@fluidwolf]

Yeah what they did was creepy and honestly bullying as they were essentially making veiled threats to the poor girl.

[@heatherdickau5335]

Last story. They just need to move to a campground until their place has bathroom facilities of some kind. Plus they possibly have a pool to use. Win win!

[@virtualatheist]

And slap her coward of a husband around his stupid head!

[@meezerluvr]

Story 1: I can't help but feel that Kate got off way too easy. She absolutely should have been fired for her part.

[@IM_GOING_TOO_HAM]

I'm surprised noone is complimenting Bryan, what a god damn moral person.

[@catsncrows]

You can let your insecurities drag you around but know they can also burn your life down

[@LunaMane]

OP in Story #1 should at least consider a separation period if not outright divorce. And I would tell the wife to cut off being friends with Kate, because she's a definite wench in her own right and was a contributor in this too.

[@runeingebretsen8378]

And all the i'm sorry kissing etc is just going trough the motions,she secretly despises him and resent him,and i will also go so far to say she is jealous of him because in her mind he is the hot one,she is a very sick person.

[@allanmartinez7535]

Great video, there is nothing like a perfect marriage or relationship, I learnt that in everything there is always a solution, 5 years ago I and my wife divorced because we were having some difficulties in our marriage but we are back together ,it was a really bad phase but we got through it

[@wonhur885]

there is a lot of sense in what you just said and I hope mine works the same way too, we are currently separated but I cant live without her, I love her so much. wish I can get her back I can do anything to have her back, we have tried therapy amongst other things

[@allanmartinez7535]

@@wonhur885 its always difficult to let someone you love go, but in my case I had the help of a spiritual adviser who saved my marriage from collapsing her name is SHELLY RENEE WHITE.

[@wonhur885]

@@allanmartinez7535 this is helpful, I will look her up. I hope this works for me too, I really miss her.

[@allanmartinez7535]

@@wonhur885 kindly look her up online and you won't regret it.

[@AndyyWithAY]

This sounds like the wife's insecurities leading to her acting cuckoo bananas🍌 Just because you find someone attractive doesn't mean they want to f**k. I think in the U.S. average female height is 5'5, but I'm 5'2 and have met numerous women shorter than me. I love being short and would never want to be tall. But, I don't compete with other women, we can all win. I mean I think OP needs to at least temporarily separate while she goes to therapy, but I couldn't come back from this psychotic behavior. Not everyone prefers women who are tall and blonde or even find that remotely attractive. She sabotaged a great thing.

[@MisterNightfish]

I don't think I've ever met a guy who cared one way or another how short his girl was. On the other hand, I have met several women who were convinced they weren't tall enough. Funny enough, when I asked who told them that it was never a guy. They either just randomly decided themselves or one of their girlfriends made an offhand remark and they spiraled. Now, being psycho is a lot less tolerable. Being short is cute, but being crazy really isn't as cute as some people think it is. Definitely not for the long haul.

[@yesthatmousyiris4887]

Wow thats creepy, op's wife needs therapy and a healthy dose of facing consequences

[@GLoLChibs]

Story 1- This situation got out of control when OPs wife purposefully started singling Heather out. This isn't just insecurity, OP pay attention, your wife is likely showing you some of her true colors. This is the pre-emptive behavior of the type of women who view their daughters as competition for their husband's attention. And of course there's that one commentator trying to blame OP because man. Post update: Dude no, the moment she said she'd make false accusations about Heather being inappropriate OP should've ended the marriage. She's not agreeing to counseling out of remorse and she needs IC, marriage counseling isn't going to help there. She's going to put on a show to keep her marriage but she isn't going to change because she clearly doesn't think she's done anything wrong and has shown the type if person she really is. OPs gonna be posting about his pending divorce in the next year after his wife leaves a boiled rabbit in the car of some pretty cashier who said 'thank you' to OP the wrong way.

[@poetryqn]

@GLoLChibs, I think of myself as the eternal optimist, but even I shook my head at the 5-6 hour conversation when OP's wife doubled down. Kate's reenforcement of the wife's paranoia just cemented her bizarre behavior, and I don't think she's going to give up her jealousy. I think OP even said she has a tendency to 'mark her territory' with him. I'm not one who immediately advises divorce, but I don't see this relationship going the distance. What's the old phrase? "That which I have greatly feared has come upon me." OpPs wife is going to lose this man through her own unhinged behavior.

[@paulagoeringer9466]

Yes. It's only a matter of time. Hopefully she doesn't actually harm anyone or any animals. Definitely a fatal attraction type. Stage five clinger. 🤮

[@Ozzy08018]

I love how everyone is basically saying that OP should work through this with his wife instead of just straight divorcing her for fucking stalking. If the genders were switched, everyone would be saying divorce and report to the police immediately. Edit: So I finished story 1 and now I'm even more pissed about the comments saying OP should basically forgive and forget. His wife's scheme and insane jealousy over nothing is gonna make OP a Pariah to literally everybody he knows because the insinuation is gonna be that he was having an affair. Chances are that OP is gonna get fired and the "information" is gonna be passed to other companies like a baseball. OP might end up being fired anyways because keeping him would give off a bad impression. I doubt any other company would want him either because of this. If the worst case scenario comes true, OPs wife has just fucking ruined his life while she gets to walk away scot-free while thinking she's saved her marriage. What a damn shitshow bro.

[@terramarini6880]

They might fire him because they feel his wife may tank a rising star employee by this unhinged behavior or pull them into a huge legal situation with harassment and bullying of his potential co workers. At the very least if this comes to light with HR he may never see a promotion or important project again... Career ending behavior.

[@paulagoeringer9466]

​@@terramarini6880yeah, his reputation is already toast at work and that will likely follow him especially if or I should say when, she pulls 💩 again.

[@abelink9229]

Story 2: husband can volunteer to do the effin chores himself if he's so inclined. Kids are innocent! Also SIL could fork out a few bucks from the $180 and put a damn nanny camera in the kitchen before accusing people.

[@sardonically-inclined7645]

If she doesn't get medicated, divorce is the only solution. That's disgusting.

[@akoilngas1215]

If? IF a man stalked his wife while she was at work, would you be talking about medication or would you be screaming, "RUN, GIRL, RUN!!!!"? I know what I would be doing, and I see zero reason not to be screaming at OP in this story. This is the sort of stuff where the husband gets stabbed in their sleep because he smiled at a waitress.

[@stephaniebattison2334]

​@akoilngas1215 right? Like bunny boiler level psycho. Even if she gets therapy/medication, I don't think I'd ever be able to look at her with anything other than disgust.

[@akoilngas1215]

@@stephaniebattison2334 It's amazing how a simple gender flip turns normally sane people into apologists. "He boiled a bunny!?!?!? What a monster!" vs. "She boiled a bunny? Why don't men value the contributions women make in the home?"

[@LaineyBug2020]

Story 1 - needs to go straight to H.R. with texts from Kate to get ahead of it. Then straight to Marriage Counseling, Individual for the wife. That's at a minimum. But she doesn't get to interact with his Office anymore at all. No more talking to coworkers, no more walking/driving to/from work together. If she's resistant to counseling, head to the lawyer. This is very toxic and Kate needs to be held accountable too. ETA- after that line about getting Heather fired, he definitely needs to go to HR to get everything on the record with Kate. She should be the one who has to transfer or get fired. He doesn't have to apologize to Heather if he thinks it will make it worse, but Kate needs to be dealt with. And that definitely would have been my line.

[@SkyEcho751]

I'd report what Kate was doing to the higher ups, and if the wife asks I'd go with something like "You know, repeated harassment of a coworker, and borderline stalking of me, aren't exactly allowed in the company. She bullied a coworker out of the department, so she MUST face consequences. It doesn't matter who her targets were, I will NOT stand by and watch someone's life get hurt. And _NONE_ of this would be happening if you would've realized I have no sexual interest in Heather, meaning yours and Kate's actions forced this." What I never understand in the "Well why are you defending her/him" when people are jealous, is that the OP likely wouldn't be defending them if you weren't un-rightfully attacking them. They are only defending because they 'have to' since the other person is innocent. Because gosh, would you look at that, good people don't exactly like it when people are getting hurt for no good reason.

[@enjolireyes643]

Story 2-NTA…. the only thing the kids should do is clean the bathroom and I would tell SIL to put cameras in the house if she doesn’t believe it!

[@nuttmare9438]

This has never happened to me thankfully but I know full well how it feels to be judged, misunderstood, boxed and labelled either a villan or someone who deserves to be treated with hostility, all on face value. I don't know how to take it or handle it but often feels insulting. It's happened enough times that I try to dodge it if I see it coming. Just like poor Heather, who had done NOTHING wrong, yet had to get out of there for her sake. I resonate with that poor woman. The wife and Kate were the real villans for projecting onto Heather the way they did. Seriously. Is it not enough to have a husband telling you how beautiful and good enough for him you are, you've got to still find a way to let the demons in then unleash them on some poor, unsuspecting work colleague

[@Graves933]

Women cant even exist without someone thinking they want someone's partner. 😢

[@TheSwagger81]

Story 1: although couples counselling will help, OPs wife needs individual therapy. This is unhinged behaviour.

[@dm9078]

Divorce and go to HR file a formal complaint about the coworker.

[@Batman-lg2zj]

Divorce isn’t the answer

[@diarradunlap9337]

​@Batman-lg2zj Divorce from this duplicitous, egotistical, hateful, narcissistic psychic leech of a wife is the ONLY answer. She's jeopardized OP'S job, driven a wedge between OP and his co-workers, and caused unnecessary problems for a young woman who's done NOTHING wrong.

[@pragatisingh8467]

@@Batman-lg2zj oh it absolutely is

[@invisigoth510]

Op needs to also go to HR & report the employee for spying on him & harassing Heather

[@RiverWoods111]

OP need to take his wife and Kate to HR, and then go to Heather and tell her to sue the two of them. He should first kick her out and serve her divorce papers, and then help Heather to sue the wife and Kate. Kate should be fired for harassment. He needs to get make sure that Brian gives him a statement in writing stating that he saw the text between Valerie and Kate and that he told OP. Tell them that he feels horrible that a co-worker was not only harassed and bullied by the two women but he is pissed at his wife for spying on him. I am afraid, if he doesn't go to HR then this could get twisted on him and he could lose his job or something. Heather could decide to sue Kate and Valerie and possibly him. He needs to cut ties, and he may want to start looking for a new job just in case this blows up.

[@katecooper3410]

Story 1: OP should request a transfer himself and also make sure that Kate or any coworkers that wife is associated with are *not* able to follow him. That will make a statement

[@PardonSylver]

Story 1: OP needs to realize that Heather was entitled to that public apology. Heather was the one being harassed by two witches who felt like they were some divine enforcers of the status quo, she was the one who bore the brunt of it all. OP should have kept all evidence of the wife's correspondence with Kate and brought it up to HR, "I don't want office drama" sentiments be damned. Kate was an active participant in workplace bullying, she needs to eat the consequences. Judging from OP's description of Kate's reaction, the blank look pretending to be dumb thing, Kate saw this as a little game and she would do this again in a heartbeat if given the chance. Honestly I find OP's paasivity in this very alarming. He would move heaven and earth to save HIS REPUTATION but Heather and HER issues can fuck right off cuz "I don't want anymore office drama." Even from how he ended that update it was all "Oh woe is me I'll have no friends when everyone finds out, boo hoo no one's gonna want to talk to me anymore" and the coworker that got bullied, harassed, and indirectly threathened until she had to request a transfer was basically a passing thought in the New York traffic of priorities. Story 2: OP doesn't have SIL issue, she has a Husband Issue. SIL works full time so of course she doesn't actually see what's going on in the house when she's not there. BUT, her daughter and her husband say it was OP's kids and to add cherry to the cake OP's husband, SIL's brother, is compliant with her demands which she sees as an admission of guilt. OP and her kids, NTA; SIL is soft AH; everyone else hard AH, especially OP's husband. I would suggest OP take her kids and stay elsewhere, if the house keeps getting messy, SIL will have to accept that it's HER family's doing, but if what SIL said is true and her house has never been like this before OP's family, there's a good chance SIL's family is gonna start picking up after themselves now that their scapegoats have gone or they're gonna start pinning blame on OP's husband.

[@psychickumquat]

Man the last one is frustrating, since that "rent" feels like extortion. $720 for parking? All when it probably costs the SIL nothing at all.

[@CandyLove2322]

I'm cleaning my house right now so thank you for making it entertaining me while I do it 😊

[@MarkNarrations]

You're very welcome thanks for listening in!!

[@Hiraeth_Nightshade]

I don't know how OP can still be together with someone so disgusting. I feel for the poor coworker.

[@MrBeevee5]

S2 - SIL sure knows how to tear a family harmony apart. If nothing else, if what she is thinking is true, it would only be temporary.

[@jenniferslack-smith5129]

Report the spy to HR.

[@stirlingarcher7972]

Wow, OP should report Kate to HR. I guess try couples therapy with the wife but idk, I don’t think a relationship could come back from that. The wife needs massive individual therapy to deal with her issues. Idk about everywhere else but in the US Heather would most likely have a civil case against OP’s wife. If I were her I’d sue, this kind of thing sticks to a woman. This could follow Heather even to new jobs depending on their field.

[@paulagoeringer9466]

And Kate as well. She's the one harassing her at work. Both her and the wife need serious consequences so this doesn't happen again.

[@tallyp.7643]

Bonus points if OP divorces wifey first and Heather knows it's gonna happen, so she waits til it's done so only the wife is implicated in the lawsuit and he can't be guilted into helping pay for it (hee hee).

[@lorriehicks7156]

I wonder if Kate was telling OP's wife that Heather WAS doing something, like giggling, flirting, touching.

[@Charliebeth]

Dude needed to take screenshots of all of wife and co worker spie's texts, and gone to HR about the issue to protect himself and the innocent coworker. Then he would need to keep copies of those texts for the therapist and lawyers.

[@chuckphillips5682]

Story 2: My solution, at this point, would be to move to an apartment or campground as close as possible to the building site and never darken the sil's door step again. When you move in--if that even happens--don't let that family on your property. If that pisses the extended family off, too damn bad. "Just trying not to offend my SIL, Mom and Dad!"

[@Davtwan]

This is why you _need_ to take care of your mental baggage if you experienced a harsh school life. Otherwise, you might grow up to be OP’s wife. Therapy is not a sign of weakness. Therapy is not only for the crazy. _Your mental health matters._

[@mbyerly9680]

Kate needs to be punished. She might have been acting for OP's wife, but she was just as guilty. If nothing else, gossip should be spread to show what a harpy she is. This is an old story. I guess OP didn't divorce his own harpy, or there would have been an update. On the second story, I imagine all those chores that the SIL wants OP's kids to do don't include her own kids or husband. If OP's SO thinks they should do chores to appease the SIL, let him become the house elf for her.

[@renaeodonnell4558]

12am me “yeah I should go to sleep” Also me “ooooo! A new mark narrations video uploaded 15 minutes ago! *click”

[@cathybaldry7822]

Op's wife needs to realise that the biggest concern is that the wife has undermined his job. Aka directly can impact the household income. The wife needs to recognise that as another poster commented that OP's wife has indeed gone from bullied to being the bully. She needs to step back and recognise how awful being bullied felt and how her actions must make Heather feel.

[@rubymeaddle]

OP's wife set the company up for an employment discrimination lawsuit for Heather... which she should sue.

[@Spawnkiid]

How he doesn’t think he needs to go apologize is saddening

[@CrimsonAngelWinges]

Story 1: If OP is planning to stay at that job he needs to make sure everyone knows what Kate did. Burn her career down, toss her under the bus what ever you have to do, just make sure she has to leave the company not transferred departments.

[@landonhagan450]

Story 1: OP needs to resign and report Kate. There's no better solution to the fallout than a clean slate and for her to face consequences for being such a snake. Seriously, with her last comment to Heather she went from a gormless crony to a monster. She went out of her way to say that, making her an active participant in harassment she didn't even have a stake in.

[@jacearmor5274]

The wife's behavior is stalking! This could potentially put OP's job at risk, as well as making Heather uncomfortable.

[@Shenn3165]

What about OP’s comment about,” of course she’s attractive I have eyes”. I’m willing to bet he said that to his wife.

[@AndyyWithAY]

If the story really is like OP says, NTA. If the kids are just showering and using the bathroom, all they should do is clean the messes they made in the bathroom. And, the 12 year old absolutely needs to be held accountable. If her and her friends are making messes, she doesn't need to blame her cousins. WTF? It's just okay for tween to lie on others now?? 🙄🤔OP and her kids just need to find another place to park the camper.😮‍💨

[@joeschmo622]

*First* thing The Opie should do, is to go to HR and report The Kate. Tell them she's been enlisted as a spy, that you're grossly uncomfortable about it, and it's hindering you at work. Tell them to ask to examine The Kate's phone if she denies it. *Then* confront wifey about it.

[@hiftu]

Wife should calm down, Kate have to let go (gross misconduct), Heather needs an apology from Kate, OP wife and maybe from OP.

[@idontknowmyfruits2194]

I feel like the OP of story 1 should’ve talked to Heather and they both go to HR to talk about Kate but i hope it works out for him and Heather. Idk if his marriage is worth salvaging, it doesnt really seem like his wife fully understands what she did was wrong and is just trying to appease him with agreeing to go to couples therapy. “If the couples therapist thinks i need individual counseling then ill go” is not a very promising line of thought for change.

[@garthrogers2269]

OP needs to go to HR and file a complaint against Kate for workplace harassment and cite Heather as a co-complainant.

[@PuppyKatt]

Story 2: NTA If your husband wants to volunteer someone to do the chores, he can d@mned well volunteer himself to do them. Contact the electricity company in your area, and arrange to move the trailer to your own property, and plug it in there. Also, contact waste management in regards to a port-a-potty, and some source of drinking and bathing water. Next time you have to use your SIL's bathroom, when she is not home, try to somehow set up a nanny cam so that you can prove to husband and SIL that your kids are not making the messes.

[@LordGertz]

OP needs to report that spying co-worker to HR.

[@jessereyna6662]

Story 1: This story isn’t over. Heather went straight to the boss to ask to be transferred. Their is no way the boss didn’t ask why. OP needs to go to HR and state his part of the story before Kate does, because HR will call her in. OP played no part in this situation but his silence won’t help him any. Kate needs to be moved to another department if possible, if not she needs to be fired. If his coworkers know anything, only two people could have spoken up, Kate or Bryan, but it’s most likely Kate.

[@messinalyle4030]

I'm imagining 1st OP looking his wife directly in the eyes and saying, "So, after all this insecurity that I was going to leave you for Heather, now I'm leaving your ass because you're three pounds of drama in a two pound bag and I've got better things to do with my time than deal with a mess like you. Does this mean you're going to cut *me* up and serve me in one of your pies?" It would have even more impact if he said that after Heather had gotten a new job and moved away, since that would mean that he would presumably be less likely to be planning to go chase Heather now that he was free of his wife.

[@melindaflick631]

I don't know, maybe OP should talk to HR and ask them to relay his deepest apologies for the awful behavior of Kate and OP's wife. I think I'd be separating as well, I don't see how I could stay with someone who thought that was acceptable behavior.... JFC.

[@salomerodriguez5145]

At the "and Kate would back her up" it would be over.

[@TsukiKageTora]

The fact most people resort to insulting strangers for their bodies to make themselves feel better about their own insecurities about themselves, they need therapy and not a relationship.

[@lovelysakurapetalsyt]

If I were OP in the update, I'd have gone straight to HR and reported the harassment of Heather and tell them *everything* and say that the entire office was a witness and that Heather should be given a serious raise and needs company paid therapy for this

[@Tokyo_Rose.]

Story 1 - From Heathers side - I have actually had this done to me, except I was in Heather's shoes. I had a few weeks ago, started working in a supermarket and my fave part was working downstairs doing stocktake etc, which meant I sometimes chatted with the warehouse guys. Always about music (we were all Bowie fans). One day one of the girls warned me that a girl was coming in to beat me up. Apparently one of the warehouse guys (I'll call him Mark) had a girlfriend (I'll call her Anne) who had been asking the girls at work about me for the past few weeks. Obviously I had been spotted talking to Mark about Bowie and Anne didn't like it. Anne planned to come and beat me up one saturday evening, and one girl felt I should be warned as obviously this was violence. That night I was walked to my bus stop by one of the trainee managers. I felt humiliated and in danger. And extremely confused! I couldnt understand what id even done. I mean talking about Bowie??!! Surely thats not reason to beat me up??!! Its so confusing when you dont understand what you did wrong. It wasn't as though I was even pretty! Well I don't think it was that, I always assumed she was jealous that I knew a lot about Bowie, which led to the occasional chat. Either reason, I felt humiliated, embarrassed, and extremely unsafe!! I know that OP's wife isn't physically threatening Heather, but it threatend Heather's wellbeing. She knows something was wrong and that she was left out etc. She will have felt really upset, not knowing what she has done wrong. And believe me, in those shoes, it really really really hurts . . .

[@fionarobinson4169]

Report Kate to HR for spying on him

[@AKASANJEEWA]

Op should report his wife's bestie to HR for invading his privacy and creating a hostile work place

[@rilo7891]

Story 1: OP needs to file for divorce. Heather needs to sue, and HR needs to FIRE Kate

[@Lordofthelosers01]

Story 1: I have a feeling we'll be hearing an update from OP either because he's getting a divorce, he was let go or both. In the last part he described that people are avoiding him and that may potentially lead to him being transferred or let go

[@perfidyisplay]

1st story: he should have reported Kate to HR and she then the texts between the wife and her. Get her fired