My Friend Confided In Me About Her Relationship With A Married Man r/Relationships

[@L3adb3lly]

Bev asked OP if it was her place to say something... the hypocrisy. It wasn't Bev's place to carry on an affair with a married man. Then to blame OP if Tom's marriage fails... that's Tom's fault, for cheating. Bev should have kept her mouth shut, and dealt with the natural consequences of dating/screwing a married man without being coddled. Friends don't expect friends to abandon their morals and be complacent in lies that hurt people.

[@onepieceisking5493]

Exactly 💯, she's not a true friend to expect op to not say anything plus try to blame op for everything that happened. I can't believe the hypocrisy she has when she was the one that carried on with the affair knowing that he was married. It's on her and Tom if Tom's marriage fails not op's.

[@madambutterfly1997]

Opie is a POS for daring to say that these sociopathic adulterers are great women, because they have shown instances of kindness and generosity.

[@Midnight0Mistress]

My eyes couldn't roll back hard enough.

[@Azulakayes]

I really hope that married man cheats on Bev with someone else so that she can realise he is a scumbag. In fact, if he cheats with Sara, it would be perfect because it will be a sweet awakening for their immoral mindsets. I am so glad OP told the wife and I hope that scumbag gets divorced.

[@erenssister.5535]

Something that I learned if your friend is ok with hurting other innocent people what makes them think their friends will not hurt them? True friendship is when you do not have to sacrifice your morals to keep friendship. Like if my friend is racist doesn’t mean I will support her on that.

[@jasonmims5057]

That's a twisted view of friendship. You don't maintain a friendship with a person who is doing something wrong because you will get dragged into the wrongdoing. You maintain a friendship with someone who shares your values and is a decent person.

[@Azulakayes]

Yes! You should only be friends with people who share the same values.

[@robertx8020]

This But it shows what kind of woman they are... And if someone ever cheated on them they would suddenly ignore those 'values' and would be angry at anyone that knew but did not tell!

[@KIDhazama]

To an extent maybe but a real friend will stop their homie from fucking up before it's too late. Op had that chance but didn't say anything til it was too late.

[@ch3rrikiss]

Bev is toxic - "you set your morals and values aside for your friends"... A huge red siren 🚨🚨🚨

[@natmickan]

The flip side is not dropping a friend for one mistake (although this was an ongoing mistake rather than a 1-time thing). Not everyone has the same view of what a friendship dealbreaker is, but that doesn’t mean that those friendships are ‘twisted’. There are all different types of friendships; some are limited re: subjects & contexts etc., but they’re still valid friendships. IMO that’s what differentiates a friend from a BFF; you can be friends with someone with different morals/values etc., but BFFs not so much 🤷‍♀️

[@Cruz2917]

Toms is a cheater and a manipulator and Bev is shameless not surprised they found each other

[@PrincessQ-fj9ly]

Yeah. Those two deserve each other. 😒

[@kaycedelgado2800]

@@PrincessQ-fj9lyl

[@Azulakayes]

Sara is also an immoral enabler and a bad friend.

[@kaycedelgado2800]

@@PrincessQ-fj9ly lol i didn’t mean to send that comment idk what happened here

[@marcsando]

This is the dynamics of infidelity. Sooner or later they will gravitate toward one another.

[@MsUnamusedNerd]

STORY 1: Bev is gross. Oh friend circles morals are out of whack.

[@Azulakayes]

Just wait until Tom cheats on Bev with Sara, those morals will align beautifully 😂😂😂. You best believe that if Sara sees no problem with Bev dating a married man and ending a friendship over it, she certainly would have no problem having an affair with Tom herself. After all, both her and Bev clearly stated that you can set aside morals and values.

[@dollface2907]

@@Azulakayes look at the update the very reason bev wont get with tom is because she cant trust him the fucked up mental gymnasitic for having a friend who was cheated on, then doing the same thing and expecting it to be fine so delusional

[@Sir_Gerald_Nosehairs.]

The OP is being way too harsh on herself and accepting blame she should outright reject. All that happened was the fault of Bev and Tom. And scrotums to the idea being a supportive friend means putting your morals and values aside. A supportive friend takes your car keys when you're drunk, and acts as the OP does, putting an end to an affair if you will not, because they want you to be the best version of you. I hope she finds better friends.

[@erenssister.5535]

If I am being honest, she was the true friend here because tom would have made her pregnant and leave her asap because he doesn’t want to lose his safety net. A good friend is someone who doesn’t let us stray from our path.

[@CrimsonAngelWinges]

The only thing OP did wrong was to keep comforting her. OP and Sara should have told her the truth by the second time. You're having an emotional affair with this man, have some self respect and end this sh@t show.

[@eliashuapilla]

​@@CrimsonAngelWingesit did say that they had that conversation several times, but that bev didn't care.

[@PrincessQ-fj9ly]

​@@eliashuapilla Yeah, I thought so. People like Bev don't usually listen to good advice if they're enjoying what they're doing, despite knowing it's a bad idea. 😒

[@akkiko]

I think OP should've spoken to her and given her the chance to come clean herself but other than that...

[@aaronmedley7606]

"friendship is putting your morals to side and helping the friends no matter what"..... ah so if one of my friends was to rape a woman or is a pedo I should set my morals to the side got it I mean usually I would break every bone in them I could

[@hritwiksom3032]

"No, but that's different !!!"

[@thomasjoseph5876]

Yes, my friend Adolph does kill a lot of people and I hate it but we have so much fun sledding and binge-watching tv shows on Netflix. Imagine the mental gymnastics needed to justify having friends whose moral compass is pointing in the complete opposite direction as yours??? The fact OP STILL wanted to be friends with Sarah and Bev AFTER she told Tom's wife is making my brain melt and drain out of my ears LOL.

[@marcsando]

Right on!! I'M SURPRISED THAT THE BRAINS OF THOSE TWO "FRIENDS" GENERATE ENOUGH ENERGY TO MOVE THEIR LEGS!

[@vanguardangel6912]

People are nuts! They really do wanna only just hear what they WANT to hear

[@user-sk2ij7mo6y]

Story 1 I have zero respect or sympathy for cheaters ....friendship doesn't mean you set aside your morals for your friends it means YOU RESPECT your friends moral convictions.....These are not two decent women....these are two CHEATERS....and we all know cheaters are great at playing the victim and pretending to be a really good person but that is all it is PRETEND.

[@staysilent4392]

Preach!

[@MarkNarrations]

Just sat here looking at r/aww and all the cute animals and was like SHIT forgot post the video!

[@maggpiprime954]

Oops lol! 😂

[@evavocative6975]

That's such a good reason to be distracted, though. ;D Cute animals are good thing to spend time on.

[@F8...]

dude I'm 40 n a fairly hard man and I stop to see the cute animals everyday 😂

[@vernell2601]

Omg that’s hysterical

[@rylashadow18]

So we're getting r/aww soon? Please? Pretty please?

[@standinthegsp6858]

Bev needs tested for STDs. It wouldn’t be a surprise if Tom had other women on the line besides Bev.

[@mirandanils5114]

Friendship is NOT about setting aside your personal morals and values for the sake of someone you care about. Anyone who says that is NOT a friend at all. They are selfish and only in it for themselves. Both of those people were trash and OP needs to find people who actually care about her. Friendship is having someone's back even when it is difficult, including holding your friend accountable for their mistakes, because you care about them and want what is best for them. That is what a friend does.

[@Digitalfairy]

Darn right! Sara and Bev are toxic friend influences that only think about themselves.

[@ily9402]

Exactly friendship isn't about mindless supporting your friends it's about holding them accountable when they do wrong and supporting them through the process wth is wrong with that "friend"

[@thomasjoseph5876]

If OP remained friends with Sarah and Bev she should be scared of ever getting a boyfriend or husband and then introducing him to them. How can you be friends with people that have the complete opposite moral compass??? The OP STILL wanted to be friends with Sarah and Bev AFTER she told Tom's wife about it. WTF??? It's like being friends with Hitler. Yes, he kills a lot of people and I don't really like that BUT we have soooooo much fun sledding and binge-watching tv shows on Netflix. LOLOLOLOL. Stupid. I think OP has some pretty low self-respect going on if she would STILL want to be friends with them.

[@dannyholland7209]

@@ily9402 Sorry, but No. I don't need "Friends" that will go behind my rat me out for every morally grey thing i might do. With friends like that, who tf needs enemies? Not saying the cheating is good, But if you're willing to stab your friend in the back so swiftly, you're not actually their friend.. lol

[@saldiven2009]

Last story: A "family reunion" that doesn't allow spouses? Sounds more like a cult than a family.

[@recycledapathy7411]

And even the ones who followed the rules for the wedding are shunning them? Yeah, definitely culty. OP and her husband are right to stay no contact, and I hope that remains the case for a long time.

[@neferpitou3934]

I enjoy the mushrooms

[@wmdkitty]

Are spouses not family?

[@neferpitou3934]

@@wmdkitty they are a species of fungi which are known to cause hallucinogenic effects within their consumers.

[@thomasjoseph5876]

I think there is much more going on in that family than either the OP wants to tell us or doesn't realize because she is kept at "arm's length". Jesus, imagine the "tint" of those rose-colored glasses that you totally missed ALL of those red flags in her new husband's family. I'm sorry to say that their marriage is doomed unless the OP's hubby completely cuts off his family 100%.

[@Human-kb6xc]

To be honest, I would probably be upset if I were the girlfriend in story 2. She MADE him a sweater. She didn't go out and buy it. She crocheted the sweater by hand. That takes so much thought and caring do commit to doing something like that. Then to feel disregarded because someone else bought him a watch that cost over $2,000 would just make it seem like it wasn't worth the time and effort.

[@dorothyfromoz6360]

I agree. It was an inappropriate gift to give and was vulgar.

[@abelink9229]

Then she should be upset with her boyfriend (with his "best gift ever") and not the OP, no?

[@yomommah6866]

​@abelink9229 I agree with the comment that says OP should've involved the GF. "That's how you become a bridesmaid instead of barred at the wedding". OP wanted all the glory, GF or anybody else be damned (she even wanted to go last as she knew her present would be the best). It's tasteless. OP and the BF deserve each other.

[@MONKEYDZETS]

You sound like bitter woman so insecure

[@Zamz8]

Someone in the comments asked how much the other presents were that he received. Op's was in the middle of the bunch at 2.5k. The friend also received gifts ranging from a 1k painting to a 4k trip.

[@dementesf]

Story 2 if a “friend I shouldn’t worry about “ gave my SO an expensive gift I would have alarms going off in my head

[@pee74332]

Yup! There's a lot more of these guy/girl bestfriend stories where there's an agenda is behind their actions, then well intended gift giving stories gone south. It's fine to splurge for a friend, but $2500 is quite a bit beyond the splurge range. Also to make it the final gift of the night was a bit dramatic. The OP knew what it would look like when she made the gesture of gifting him that watch.

[@iononcantomascrivo]

The first story: OP did the right thing. The amount of projection from Bev regarding her affair and expecting OP to be complicit when she knew that OP had been cheated on herself. OP needs new friends

[@erenssister.5535]

I just know these are rhe kind of friends who would cheat with your spouses. I bet when one of them gets married the other will have an affair with the husband

[@thomasjoseph5876]

Exactly. Why would you even want to be friends with people like Sarah and Bev??? It would have been like being friends with Hitler. Well ya, he does kill a lot of people but we have awesome fun times sledding and binge-watching Netflix. Stupid. It really doesn't say much for the OP that even after Bev did all that cheating that OP STILL wanted to be friends with Sarah and Bev. The minute I found out about the cheating I would have told the wife, dumped the friends (after telling them they suck as human beings), and found new friends. How can you even be friends with people that have such a different moral compass than your own??? You really can't otherwise you aren't being true to yourself and your beliefs.

[@DHTheAlaskan]

Let's not forget Sara was siding with the cheater when OP had previously been cheated on.

[@hannahdavis5725]

OP: Stop defending them...please stop defending them.

[@leaflet1686]

If my partner had a friend, that was rich enough to just shake 2.5k loose for a birthday gift, I would befriend her... Someone who is this willing to make a sacrifice to someone they are not in love with is a good person and needs to be kept close! Also his best friend so I can go to them for advice and suprise planning in the future.

[@srlong1123]

I hope that the OP in story 1 can look back at this situation in a few years and realize just how toxic these “friends” were

[@lulusinner]

Story 2: the request that it was last present puts it in the ick for me

[@TsukiKageTora]

The update… wow OP needs to find better friends if she warning a wife of her husband’s slimy activities with her friend, is somehow betraying a friend’s trust and is somehow the reason if the cheater’s marriage is failing…. Not the cheater or the knowing side piece

[@sharyebethancourt3660]

Story 2: maybe OP shouldn’t have asked for the gift to be last? Maybe give it to Tom privately? ETA: I can’t decide between ESH and NAH.

[@WPFLAWLESS]

Maybe it's my history of being friends with a lot of couples and doing this often (ie making personalized gifts for one or the others that they're going to love) and a lot of the time the s/o's will come to me with help making or chipping in on gifts. His reaction also proves that it would have been worse had the gift NOT gone last. And honestly if I was the GF I would have asked everyone if they wanted to chip in on it and he would have gotten one big gift that he really wanted.

[@sharyebethancourt3660]

Wait….Bev doesn’t want anything serious with Tom cuz she can’t trust him? This makes it worse! They’re both horrible people. Friendship does _not_ mean putting your values aside, it means holding your friends accountable the way you would hold yourself accountable. It is definitely not OPs fault if Tom’s marriage fails.

[@NottyAries]

Bev is lying to herself.

[@Tammohawk1]

3. That is one strange family. Family gatherings with only the immediate family? No spouses? That is so bizarre. It does sound very cultish to me too.

[@CrimsonAngelWinges]

Hopefully all of there marriages end in divorces with the spouses getting primary custody.

[@milwaukeerican5]

8:11 I laughed so hard at this part. This is the icing on the Bev and Tom are trash as fuk cake.

[@tully6648]

What that told me is that Bev isn't even in it for Tom, but for the drama and the attention. Every couple of weeks she gets to flirt with danger in a relationship she knows isn't going anywhere, then get coddled by her friends because "poor thing's got it so bad." Her and Sara can rot in their "friends ignore each other's moral failings" friendship.

[@CrystallynRose]

Gotta love the family in the last story. OP has been respecting their wishes as to not going to these biological family only events, but the family can't respect her and her husband's wishes? It's probably best that they're cut off from them because they don't respect anybody that's not their biological relative. I wouldn't want to associate with them.

[@amandahicks9858]

Sidetracked gotta love cute animals. I get Sidetracked too for cute animals 😅

[@Nevertoleave]

Someone a should let mother in law and father in law they’re not biologically related

[@Russman67]

Story 1: Bev is too hung up on her married side piece. Poor cheating husband. Was it OP's place to tell? I think Bev put her in a bad spot by confiding this infidelity to her. And the whole notion of needing to set aside your personal morals and values for a friendship is crap. If that's the case, they weren't friends.

[@TortoiseNotTurtle]

Who cares if it was OP's place to tell tbh. Bev gave up all rights to confidentiality when she began cheating.

[@Azulakayes]

A real friend will never put you in a compromising position where you have to lose yourself.

[@devegas4910]

Story 1: I went from looking at bev sideways to looking at op sideways. Bev is trashy and pathetic, but Op is definitely pathetic for trying to protect and salvage this pointless friendship. And Sara is trash too. Worse than Bev maybe because at least op tried to do the right thing and get Bev to stop. Sara enabled her.

[@DerekScottBland]

OP has typical man hating syndrome. Her partner cheated on her so it's always men that are the cheaters, the women are blameless.

[@ElleD308]

Why do you think they are friends with OP? people like Beth love people like OP since they spend their lives crawling for them just to get their affection.

[@andersrkeness2721]

Story 3: There is a reason for the Spouse's/GF/BF aren't allowed at "family gatherings". It`s do to psycho behavior and that everyone in their right mind would point it out and call the family Crazy. OP might want to re-think her marriage unless her husband cuts his family out of there life.

[@theresatheartwitch]

Story 2: I'm an Artist. If I created a Painting for my SO for their birthday und then came a friend - any friend, but especially if their genders lines up with each others sexuality - and they were able to affort an expensive gift, my SO collects or has a passion for, blindsiding me as the partner and outshining my thoughtful gift that I spend hours making, I would be pissed too. Maybe it's not rational and maybe she worded it poorly, but I get it. I also get wanting to make a good friend a really good gift, if the opportunity presents itself but still, I think she did overstep. Sure, it was a kind thing to do - for the Friend. At the same time it was kinda rude towards the girlfriend(the boyfriend was a little bit of an ass too with his "this is the best gift ever" comment). Most kind thing would have been to inform the girlfriend and make it a shared gift or something. OP could also have made it the gift from all the friends. She wasn't malicious but being like "keep this for last" and spending so much money on that thing, is a very egoistical thing to do, in the sense that it was completely ignoring the friends other relationships.

[@ndawn90]

I agree. I think people are skimming over/not understanding that the GF's gift was a hand-crocheted sweater. If it was just a gift she bought being outshone, sure, she's overreacting, but this is something she made by hand. Hours of labor, plus she probably had to hide it from him. Depending on the yarn she used, it could have cost upwards of a few hundred dollars.

[@paulclay4229]

Story 2: overstepped? Thats a longjump followed by a hop skip and a jump.

[@tangerinebabe1118]

Story 2; I've been in this situation. I got my best friend of 18 years a signed shirt from our favourite football team and had it framed. She collects memorabilia and had wanted one for years, but it was always just a bit too expensive. She freaked when I gave it to her at her 30th birthday party and everyone was really happy for her except her BF. The BF pulled me to one side, we were both deunk at this point, and try to lecture me about the present, but I quickly shut him down and told him that the present had nothing to do with him and it made my friend happy so he needed to get over himself. A few weeks later they broke up because the BF wanted her to cut me out of her life over the present. He was adamant that I'd bought it to embarrass him in front of our friends when in reality I hadn't even thought of him when I bought it.

[@truthseeker9249]

People make such a big boo hoo over the stupidest of things. I'm pretty insecure too especially because me and my boyfriend are very different people. I don't fit in with his world (gaming and all that stuff). So if we were at a birthday party I guarantee all of his friends would give him gifts that were way better than mine. And it would HURT. But I wouldn't make a scene about it nor would I confront any of them and reprimand them or accuse them of trying to outshine me. I would probably cry later but I wouldn't say anything. Cause ultimately it's a me problem. Beside I'M his girlfriend. I'm his life partner. The most important person in his life. No one can ever truly outshine me in his eyes.

[@lauraevans2104]

I agree with Mark on the watch one. I probably would have still bought the watch and then had a convo with the GF before giving it to him. I may not have given it to him at the party either, for just this reason. But that's me, I don't think OP was the ahole and I see where GF was coming from, don't agree with all of her points, but I see it. A convo could have smoothed out the rough corners.

[@OmniscientlyMe]

I'd have just asked the GF and friends if they wanted to make it a shared gift and let people buy in based on what they can afford.

[@Jamie-gc9cp]

then all of bf's friends would have to ask the gf for permission, because if you go find the post, the bf got a bunch of gifts worth 1-4k, the op's gift wasn't even the most expensive. I can't imagine if my friend told our whole friend group we have to ask for gf's permission before buying a gift so we dont outshine her. I would tell him to dump her so fast, lol

[@allanmartinez7535]

Great video, there is nothing like a perfect marriage or relationship, I learnt that in everything there is always a solution, 5 years ago I and my wife divorced because we were having some difficulties in our marriage but we are back together, it was a really bad phase but we got through it.

[@wonhur885]

there is a lot of sense in what you just said and I hope mine works the same way too, we are currently separated but I cant live without her, I love her so much. wish I can get her back I can do anything to have her back, we have tried therapy amongst other things

[@allanmartinez7535]

@@wonhur885 its always difficult to let someone you love go, but in my case I had the help of a spiritual adviser who saved my marriage from collapsing her name is SHELLY RENEE WHITE.

[@wonhur885]

@@allanmartinez7535 this is helpful, I will look her up. I hope this works for me too, I really miss her.

[@PrincessQ-fj9ly]

Story 1: Sounds like OP needs some new friends. They clearly don't have the same morals. And she could really use some therapy because she feels like it's her fault when it really isn't. I do think she should've told her friend that what she did was wrong sooner, but that's literally the only thing she messed up.

[@Detector1977]

s1: Op is wrong and disgusting for trying to defend Bev and Sara when they are both trash people willing to hurt other people for their own selfish purpose.

[@stellamccoy5259]

Friend or not, I would tell the spouse if I knew my friend was cheating with her husband. All my friends know this as it is one of my pet peeves. Being a military person, I have told a few wives about their cheating husbands.husband's. I would never, NEVER, put aside my morals and values for anyone, not even my son.

[@kerribottriell-baxter7345]

3rd story: That family is weird! Unless there is valid reason, what the heck is wrong with having spouse/partner at gatherings?

[@LazyCharms]

OP talks about how nice her friends are. I think this is a great example of how some people can be nice, or at least outwardly pleasant, but not good.

[@blandoatmeal1273]

Story 2 I just can't help but ask if the gf would have sent the same message to a guy friend that got the same gift.

[@rf159a]

The watch story: I agree with you Mark. I would of had a conversation with the GF.

[@catandrobbyflores]

If my partner took the time to make me something I wouldn't just disregard it like the bf did in favor for a shiny watch. That guy is the true ahole here.

[@PuffyRedCloud]

Story 2: NTA. She basically said she doesn't care about her partner's happiness unless it's coming from her?! OP needs to tell her friend about this. Imagine if his parents had given him the watch instead. What's the gf gonna do? Call them up to tell them that the happiness they shared with their son should from now on only belong to him and her??

[@Windxchild]

Story 2: I was exactly thinking what Mark said here. It’s great that you get your friend this gift that he really wants, but it would have been best to talk to the gf about it first. Discuss if she may want to take part in the gift also, or if she would mind you giving it at the party. Asking the friend to open the gift last was a bit of a tacky move, regardless of anything though. I understand why, but mild yta for that

[@OZARKMOON1960]

#3 - These women who put up with being ignored or treated like second class citizens by their spouse's (or potential spouse's) family, left out of 'family' celebrations; what in the world do they think is going to happen down the road? You and your kids ignored, not recognized. Sounds like even hubby's parents are divorced and remarried but their new spouses are shunned too. WTF is up with that kind of cultish or incestual thinking? Either hubby stops going or OP needs to have serious talk with him about their future - if there is one. Right now - and for wedding - OP is NTA.

[@shydog7276]

Last story I'm glad I'm not the only one who thought this reeked of being a cult lol. How related do you have to be to be considered "family"? What a freaking weird family, glad the hubby was on his new wife's side and kicked the cult- I mean. His family out of the wedding.

[@curtisalex456]

OP chose to marry into this family! This is crazy!🤦🤦🤦

[@balindaleague4721]

Ok when this girl that is cheating gets cheated on she will under stand how it feels and she will feel shame how she did her friend and the wife.

[@robertx8020]

Wanna bet that her argument will be "this is diferentttttt" ?

[@JoltaeAndwae]

Story 2: Totally agree Mark. That's where I can understand the gfs statement that it lacks awareness. This is a gift that's highly personal to OPs best friend so the fact that OP thought they were the only person who'd even THINk about buying it makes me feel like she doesn't particularly rate the connection Gf has with Bf

[@robertx8020]

Not to mention that a $2500 gift could lead others to 'speculate' why anyone would give someone such a expensive gift

[@curtisalex456]

​@@robertx8020Exactly 💯👏 When I was that age, Me and my closed friends used to give each other very meaningful or expensive gifts. But whenever one of us was in a relationship, we will always include the partner because we did not want to jeopardize (or overstep) their relationship.

[@OZARKMOON1960]

#1 - The joke of a friend helping you purchase a shovel and a really great friend helping you bury the body aside, true friends do not insist that you abandon your own moral compass and ignore their shitty behavior. Real friends call each other out for acting like fools and what is Bev's problem anyway? Did she think that Tom was only cheating with her and it would continue for ages? She didn't want him. OP is NTA and glad she told wife and got away from that mess!

[@Davtwan]

Doesn’t matter how many good qualities they have. The fact that they blamed OP if Tom’s relationship goes up in flames speaks volumes. Traits like hard-working, enduring, and friendly mean very little when they lack basic and important characteristics like integrity, willpower, and accountability. No amount of explaining makes those actions go away. There’s a reason “one-step-forward two-steps-back” is a thing. I hope she realizes this sooner rather than later, because making her take the blame is just disguising.

[@mikeremski2102]

Story 3: I'm surprised that the inlaws tradition doesn't include "not having the future spouse at the wedding"

[@onepieceisking5493]

Story 1, NTA. Bev should NEVER have tried to continue seeing Tom knowing he was married. Op did the right and moral thing to tell Tom's wife about him having an affair. For Bev to be upset that Tom blocked her out of respect for his wife says a lot about her and how shameless she is about being with a married man. Update, anyone that called op a crappy friend should butt off and are just as horrible as Bev. A friend shouldn't have to compromise their morals for another friend. Op is an awesome and honest person to still tell her so called friend that she did the right thing by telling the wife. Oh my Lord, she didn't want a serious relationship with Tom because she knew she couldn't trust him, yet she STILL continued with the affair!?! This girl isn't just shameless she's an idiot. The hypocrisy astounds me as she asks op if what her place to tell the wife when she continued the affair. Oh wow, Bev only cared about how Tom was doing not the wife and wanted to be there for him to support him🤦. Boy is she shameless and stupid. Then to blame op for ruining their friendship, ruining Bev and Tom's affair plus if Tom's marriage fails. Yeah, at that point just drop them both as their worth being friends with. Those two have an extreme misconception of what friendships are really about, no wonder their not good friends at all.

[@yaqbulyakkerbat4190]

It must be so tiring to be friends with narsisists.

[@JB-bj3fl]

Story 2: since when did 2500 dollar gifts become normal

[@Lholt5647]

S2: ESH But point out a couple of things: 1) If I was GF, and given the thoughtful gifts she did, I would have felt embarrassed/small over the reception of the Big Gift 2) If I was the Big Gift Giver, a cursory reading of the room would have told me to give my gift privately. Other solution offered in comments was for the BF and GF to team up - great idea.

[@sams.3552]

I always find it really weird that people don't use the standard naming scheme (that I know from security papers but probably existed way before that)-- Alice/Alex, Bob/Bev, Charlie/Cassandra, David/Darlene, whatever

[@MarkNarrations]

Hah I wasn't even aware there was one. My standard names was always Bob/Jim/Harry and Sandra :)

[@Painted-Coyote]

What "standard naming scheme"? This is the 1st time I've heard of this 😮

[@sams.3552]

@@Painted-Coyote (and @MarkNarrations) I'm largely just making the names up, the idea is to assign sequentially and alphabetically by order of appearance or importance! I didn't know that it wasn't too widespread, in distributed systems and computer security it's used to distinguish different parties in a computation or transaction!

[@sams.3552]

(there's a clever designated name, "Trudy", for the adversary, bc that's the intruder)

[@sams.3552]

@@MarkNarrations (also I was subtweeting the ppl who call people "A", "B", "C" and whatever, not you, you're great and your name scheme is perfect!!!! It's just that if people are so uncreative that they can't make up names, they at LEAST can do things in the most obvious way)

[@aliciarae8726]

Story 2: I would make a big ticket gift like that a group gift so everyone can share in it. But that's just common for broke people lol.

[@beeppboopp]

Yeah me too 😂 I could not afford that. But if you're super well off, like it seems OP is in this story, it probably doesn't matter much to her. I mean if you have the money, why not spend it on your friends? I do understand the GF being a bit jealous, but it's super wholesome. It's so kind of OP to do that, I would be so so happy for my partner if that happened for them.

[@theresapaine7224]

​@@beeppbooppDefinitely not wholesome. Op was trying to compete with the gf

[@Ashbrash1998]

​@@theresapaine7224How was she trying to compete when she had no idea the gf wanted to get the watch as well? Like she had no idea it was a conpetition

[@truthseeker9249]

@@theresapaine7224 Tell me you're insecure without telling me you're insecure.

[@theresapaine7224]

@@Ashbrash1998 The part where she told him to "save her gift for last because it is the best" shows she wanted to be in the spotlight. Also it is super inappropriate for her to get such an expensive gift without informing the gf. Imagine is the roles where reversed.

[@carlrood4457]

The first odd part is the complete ignoring of the fact that a wedding has two people and one side doesn't get to decide everything. However, I'm confused how the whole thing can possibly work. Is OP's fiancé's mom (assuming the dad is the blood family member) also exempt from these occasions? Unless their name is Targaryen, the "blood" would get pretty thin after a few generations.

[@HellsAttic]

ive just booked my first ever table at a craft fair to sell my crochet and kumihimo stuff, im so nervous but excited!

[@MalachioftheForest]

Friendship means ignoring your morals for the sake of the friendship? Hahaha absolutely delusional

[@icarussisyphus]

I love the integrity of the OP on so many levels. I would love to have her as a SO or a friend.

[@2p-blog-thing]

Ayyy. Heyo mark. Thanks for the video, and thanks for being so consistent with your uploads. It means so much to have stuff to listen to every single day while I drive, or work, or partake in my hobbies. You truly are one of my favorite Reddit readers ♥️

[@MarkNarrations]

Aww that's extremely kind of you but I wouldn't be here without good folks like yourself listening in so thank you

[@iononcantomascrivo]

​@@MarkNarrationsI second that emotion. Several of these other KZbinrs tend to do repeat stories because they don't feel like looking for anything original.

[@kathleenmcfarlane2555]

Story 1: OP is not the A-hole. I can't believe how skewed her friends moral compass is. They are immoral -itches.

[@faeangel7649]

The fact that even hubby was suprised there was no incest in the family says a lot Good on them that they're still no contact

[@shizanketsuga8696]

9:56 No, no, no! Friendship does *not* mean you have to set aside your morals and be the yes-(wo)man to whatever they're upt to. Quite the contrary: friends need to keep each other honest. If my best friend can't tell me I fucked up, who can?

[@markbigbadbear]

2nd story, the watch. I'd say it's a gift too big for a birthday. Even a 'milestone' one like your 25th, decennial etc. This is a wedding or anniversary level gift. OP 2 also set herself up for future failure with other friends. Why does birthday boy 1 get a 2.5K gift and birthday boy and/or girl 2 and so on get a 50 bucks gift card? That'll breed resentment and will cause friendships to blow up.

[@marcsando]

2nd story: YTA - OP was so consumed by the desire to get THE special gift that she did't consider that her obsession might somehow undermine Tom's relationship. OP' ought to be more concerned that her actions re-inforce and/or strenghten Tom's relationship, rather than put her in the limelight for having gotten him this gift. Tom didn't do the relationship any favors either by his untempered reaction.

[@jenniferrichards2122]

S1, those girls definitely do not understand how friendships let alone relationships work. Friends share values not ignore them for a friend. Terrible, terrible people. When they get cheated on, they will be flabbergasted.

[@TheFlowerchild712]

Story 1: Bev and Sarah sound like complete villians. OP doesn't need to be friends with such lowlives that think cheating is okay. The fact she doesn't think so is sad. Story 2: This one is tough. OP wanted to give a good gift but she should have spoken to the GF. Story 3: Good riddance to bad rubbish. Hubby's family sounds like complete and utter trash. This may be a blessing in disguise, not having to deal with the just no in-laws. NTA.

[@thomasjoseph5876]

That is the astounding part of story 1. The OP STILL wanted to be friends with Sarah and Bev AFTER she told Tom's wife about the cheating. It's like having Hitler as your BFF. Yes, he kills a lot of people and I don't like that but we have so much fun sledding and binge-watching Netflix together. How can you remain friends with people that have a completely different moral compass??? Why would you??? Story 2, none of those people are good people, they all suck. The OP for trying to "one-up" everyone else at the party with her gift (she wanted him to open it last). She should have talked with the GF and gone together on it and THEN, given it to him a few days before the party so as not to ruin it for the other friends and their gifts. I realize the GF felt she had to say something but she should have been more "tactful" in how she said it. The guy because he made such an over-the-top display (exactly how the OP HOPED he would) and probably made many other friends at the party feel like their gifts were afterthoughts in his mind. Story 3 is bizarre. How "tinted" were the OP's Rose-Colored Glasses that she missed ALL of those Red Flags from his family and now she is literally stuck with them. There is no way her new hubby is going to stay completely 100% no-contact with his family. There is also much more going on here than either the OP wants to admit or doesn't even realize. I think the OP is lying to us by omission as she mentioned "Incest" (something she claims isn't happening), too many times in her story for some sort of it not occurring. If the OP makes a solid line in the sand as a boundary regarding no-contact with hubby's family, this marriage won't last long because hubby will step over it especially when they have kids, but I don't think she will. She will have to keep moving that line in order to stay married.

[@umbranassassin8372]

Story 2: Why though? OP is the guy's friend not the girlfriend's friend, and they're best friends at that. She doesn't need permission to simply do something to make someone she cares about happy and she isn't obligated to ask for it either. If the girlfriend got mad or insecure over it, sorry to say but that is genuinely her personal issue. I also don't get the people saying she shouldn't have asked for it to go last. Were I in the girlfriend's position I wouldv'e been thankful the watch was last. Had it been first or at any point before mine I'd be left thinking that the excitement or gratitude for my gift was just him trying to act the same or similar level of excitement just to try and appease me when in reality it's his day and he shouldn't be worrying about that. At least with my gift first I get a genuine or what i'd believe to be genuine reaction.

[@thomasjoseph5876]

@@umbranassassin8372 It's just common courtesy. If I was dating a woman and her "male friend" (there are no such things as just male friends), gave her an expensive gift at a party and made sure it was done as the last gift she opened, I would see that as someone trying to "one-up me" and humiliate me. So would many other guys. I would also see that as someone trying to interfere in my relationship with her and even going so far as trying to drive a wedge between us. Now, if he gave that to her separately, I would still be a bit miffed about the cost of the gift but doing it in private is a bit different and I wouldn't see that as any sort of a humiliation tactic, just kind of rude. If he approached me beforehand and asked if I wanted to go in on the gift that would show me respect.

[@ShinyShilla]

@@umbranassassin8372 how would you react if you made (HAND made) a present for your partner because you couldn't afford an item they love in THAT short of time, and a [attracted gender] friend of them actually manages to do so, giving it at the end, and your SO likes it so much that they basically puts down your present? If you would feel at least slightly hurt, then maybe think about what happened

[@umbranassassin8372]

@@ShinyShilla Yeah no, I still don't get it, at least not in this scenario. Boyfriend didn't put down the girlfriends gift in anyway he simply expressed that the item literally everyone knew he wanted more than anything was the best of the gifts in his eyes. You can uplift one thing without putting down another and I firmly belive this is such. Also, [attracted gender], is such a terrible way to put it and largely irrelevant to me. Let me ask you this in return, if the best friend of your partner was the the same sex but gay or your even better yet your partner happened to be bi. Would you be so insecure as to feel slighted by every gift from someone, from anyone, not a sibling or parent. Would you ban EVERY SINGLE PERSON in his life from treating him well and getting him presents that might possibly be better than yours by sheer happenstance and give them list of things they arent allowed to by or price limits. I'll concede plenty of people may feel somewhat miffed they couldn't have gotten the desired item if they were intending to, myself included, however miffed is all it should go to. Even then, feeling miffed is genuinely a personal problem, it shouldn't extend anywhere past that, certainly not to the point of trying to enforce some weird standard that people need to go out of their way to appease or really consider the partner's insecurities after all neither the party, nor gift are for them. So no, I really don't think OP did anything wrong, the girlfriend going and berating OP and people saying that her core reasoning is correct is just so wild to me.

[@TsukiKageTora]

OP your “friends” aren’t friends. They showed their true colors in making you the villain when you informed the wife of your friend’s infidelity with her husband and how they believe you should set aside your morals (thus deny your core being) to support them

[@heltonja]

#2. If another man bought my wife a two thousand five hundred dollar gift, then she would be giving it back to him or paying him the next day..

[@philwill0123]

Yep, lots of people claiming NTA would be willing to throw hands if their partner recieved something similar from their male friend. It's amazing how many people run interference to explain away suspect behaviour.

[@afroteddybear]

Story 2: It's sorta OP and the Best Friend's GF that suck for me. OP made their gift the coup de grâce of the night, not being considerate of other gifts. GF lost me a bit with the message. I get she felt insecure, but she expressed it poorly. If I knew my gift would make waves, for the sake of others, I would give my friend the gift either before or after the party. She could make some excuse like, “oh I forgot it in the car, I'll give it to you on the way out”. Edit for grammar and to add: If BF didn't comfort his GF after his emotional outburst, then he sucks too.

[@catandrobbyflores]

If I took the time and effort to crochet a sweater and my bf just ignored it for a female friend's gift that the female friend just threw money at to get and bf saying said gift was the best ever then yeah I'd be pissed too.

[@afroteddybear]

@@catandrobbyflores ​Yeah, I get it (I crochet and knit… The RSI's a b*tch). And I've personally seen my time and effort crocheting get ignored. What I don't do is go to the person who gave the most expensive or best gift and complain that *they* should have been more considerate of *my* time. Heck, GF didn't even talk about the time (according to OP). She complained about being outshone. That's why I thought both of them sucked. They turned a selfless exercise in gift giving into a pissing contest. GF should have expressed to the BF after the fact how she felt bad she couldn't get what he wanted, but put her love into what she made.

[@ElleD308]

​@@catandrobbyflores no man wants a crochet sweater for his birthday 🤣

[@BrianLiamson]

Story 1. Tom constantly manipulated your friend with a push and pull strategy to get her to pity him and love him! This will definitely turn to a toxic relationship if they keep on going. You should have pull your friend out of their interaction or threat the end of your friendship, because you do not want a cheating friend.

[@atty7697]

She's complicit in it. She wanted it and was not manipulated

[@ElleD308]

Manipulated 🤣😂 please.... she's not a child, she's a grown ass woman that loved the attention and knew 100% what she was doing.

[@BrianLiamson]

@@atty7697 She does want it and may have fallen into the manipulation, though she was attracted to him. It is a mixture of both, but either way she would be at fault.

[@BrianLiamson]

​@@ElleD308 Even with the manipulation, she probably knew, but enjoy the attention and flirtation so much that her attraction to him was something she can't let go. So she went along.

[@jrgenpedersen840]

Story 2: Giving a present worth $2500??? Madness!!! I would hate it if a friend gave me a present worth $2500.

[@yourfavouritexgf]

Same, i prefer cash 🤣🤣🤣

[@maskedkarma6051]

Yeah especially just for a birthday and one of your friends 😭 that's the type of stuff you give to a partner on your anniversary or like a wedding gift or something. Idk maybe I'm too broke but casually dropping 2k on something for a birthday present without much other thought is crazy to me

[@HoneyBakedHamlet]

The act of hurting then comforting, then hurting, then comforting (rinse and repeat) is this dude trauma-bonding the OP’s friend to himself. Edit: after the update, it just confirms it for me when it was said that the OP’s friend felt sorry for the guy! A lot of these cheating men, women and people manipulate by playing what I like to call ‘Sad Boi’ - manipulating their target into feeling sorry for them to rationalise in their own heads that their cheating is justified and in a lot of cases, to gaslight the AP into thinking that their participation in the betrayal is somehow justified too. Obviously you get different circumstances where the AP doesn’t know that they are an AP and is a victim too, or that the AP is just as scummy as the cheater - but I’m not taking about those types of situations.

[@Weirdandwonderfull19]

Story 2- I have a male friend who I consider my big bro. If I had the money to buy him something that expensive, I absolutely would, but I would have talked to his fiancée too. If she didn't feel comfortable, then I wouldn't. However, his fiancée is also a very close friend of mine, and I wouldn't want to damage the friendship I have with her. So in that respect, OPs situation is possibly different. Plus, I'm really happy to say, my friend and his fiancée have been together for close to two decades, and his fiancée isn't insecure about her relationship with my "big bro", she's happy for him to spend one on one time with his female friends, she trusts him completely (which is wonderful). Plus if he ever did cheat, something I can honestly never see happening, we all know that she would castrate big bro and force feed him his manhood 😂 😂. All that said, I absolutely would still have talked to her before buying her an elaborate present like that. It's actually her birthday in a couple of weeks and I already talked to my friend about her present, it's a bit more extravagant than what he's getting her, but he knows she will love it so he's happy. If he wanted to make it a joint gift I would be happy to do that. We all agree that price doesn't matter, it's the thought behind the gift, the effort and love that goes into it. I'm only going for something more expensive than my usual gifts because I know she will love it, it's a "I saw this and just HAD to get it" type of gift. It combines two of her favourite things.

[@Chem_-jp5em]

I agree. I know I would feel incredibly unhappy if someone got a big gift for my SO that I was trying to save for without asking me. There’s an etiquette for gifts.

[@umbranassassin8372]

@@Chem_-jp5em I'm sorry, I'm really trying but I just don't get this mindset that there NEEDS to be be an etiquette at all. If you could explain it to me that would be great but right now I don't and this feels really dumb to me. In my opinion the present, the day, and the party are all for the person who's celebration it is, whether it be a birthday, a promotion or any other milestone and the egos/insecurities of the people giving gifts shouldn't factor in at all. Sure you may have wanted to give someone a gift but short of sexual gratification, if someone has the time, means, and/or money to get someone something out of the kindness of their heart and a desire to see them happy then there is no acceptable reason for anyone to gatekeep in my eyes. Like, at least i'd like to believe, no reasonable person would get mad over someone's parents getting their partner a gift they wanted, nor would they a sibling or even an adult child who managed to safe and happen get it prior. Were I in the position I'd simply be greatful and triple so, 1 for seeing genuine childlike joy on my partner's face, 2 for seeing them finally able to get the thing they wanted so desperately in a more timely manner, and 3 because now I have more time to plan out and save for something more extravagant like a vacation or an evening out.

[@Chem_-jp5em]

@@umbranassassin8372 generally speaking, it’s good to coordinate gifts with friends, family, and significant others to see what people are planning on getting for the shared relation. You don’t want to get doubles of a gift, and in this situation, where there’s a gift that the friend really wants to the point they’ll jump up and down saying “this is the best gift ever” you really don’t want to take that moment away from the significant other. Especially since it seems like she was actively trying to save for it. I personally would be heartbroken if there was a gift that I was saving up to give to my significant other, that I knew would get an overwhelmingly positive reaction from, and someone else essentially stole it from me. Especially if he didn’t have as strong of a reaction to any of the gifts I got for him. It makes you feel less than, and really shitty.

[@sica104]

@@Chem_-jp5em I still feel like it's a ''you problem''... If the GF was saving for the watch or didn't want anyone buying it for him, she could've contacted his closest friends, including OP to let them know that she wanted to give him the watch, or even asked what are they planning on giving to her BF. Or... ask them to contribute as mutual gift...I totally get the GF's sentiment but she shouldn't have approached OP the way she did, because OP did nothing wrong... If a close friend my BF long time closed friend give him something expensive that I wanted for a long time, I would be happy for him. So yeah NTA OP.

[@sica104]

@@umbranassassin8372 I coudn't agree more... I don't expect my SO's friends ( female or male) to run through me their gifts lol If I want to give something specific to my SO and I was afraid someone else would buy it too, I would asked his entourage not to buy it because I want to. And if it's expensive, maybe ask everyone to contribute... I wouldn't get mad at the friend lol

[@jenniferhanses]

Story 2: NTA. As you said, it was fate. If you made a habit of outdoing the girlfriend, that would be different, but a once in a lifetime , I found exactly what he wanted kind of gift, she should really just be happy for him. There's this muscle called empathy that we all need to use some of the time where we're happy other people are happy, even if we had nothing to do with it, and would not want the same things they've obtained. But you know, you see them beaming and it just makes you feel good because they feel good and you love them? It's a bit concerning girlfriend can't even feel that for her own BF. As for going last, if OP didn't ask to go last, the friend probably would have been so distracted by OP's gift that it would have soured everyone else when their gifts seemingly didn't give him any joy. This way, he appreciated all the gifts he was given in their turn without having to fake anything more than he normally would have (which is hopefully not at all.)

[@ThatsViews]

Actually, giving the watch first would have been a major AH move. "A watch? Whoo-hoo!" followed by "Oh, a knitted garment. Thanks" would have still enraged the GF. OP was in a no win situation. If GF is so sensitive, prewarning people that there was a limit to the value of gifts would have worked.

[@Listrynne]

I would have given the watch in private after the party so it wouldn't overshadow all the other gifts.

[@philwill0123]

Yep, she knew her present was definitely going to overshadow the GFs

[@One.DeSanctis.]

Thanks to you, MN, for clarification of the narrative with real names. I can not follow the initials

[@krazycats564]

If I was in girlfriend's position I would be so hurt. You crochet a lovely sweater for your partner something you put love into and they say a fancy watch is the best gift ever? OUCH

[@fallingawayfromthenorm]

Story 1 - If your definition of friendship (or any relationship for that matter) involves completely setting aside your morals for a loved one, that’s alarming. How far does that extend? Does unwarranted violence get forgiven? Abuse? Murder?

[@plaguenurse4399]

For the watch story idk if it’s just a me thing, but like I think it’d be more appropriate for op to have given the watch in private instead of making a big show about it at the dinner, have a feeling the gf wasn’t the only one feeling awkward and uncomfortable. Like give him a card with a nice message at the actual party or something idk

[@lpm827]

If I was the OP, I would’ve gone to the girlfriend before hand and asked her if we could do a combined gift and make it from the both of us, regardless of who put in more money

[@julierichardson800]

I've been the GF it's so annoying. I bought my BF a wireless guitar system cost £250 and at 19 that was alot to spend, his friend bought the same gift but 20years + old so it picked up police scanners etc. He got there first and then bf pretty much never used my much better version because he didn't want to upset his pal (even though it meant majority of their practice was spent trying to get the thing to work) I never confronted the friend and told bf to fuck off if he trird to complain about to me about his substandard wireless system ruining their jam sesh.

[@lynngrant533]

I don't think the girlfriend was upset as much about OP giving him the watch, but more about Tom's declaration that it was the best gift he ever received - and this after she had probably worked quite hard making his gift and searching out his favourite book. I'm sure Tom said that because he was overly excited and wasn't thinking about the effect of his words, but I can completely understand the way OP was feeling. I'm pretty sure that OP had no malicious intent in giving a gift to a friend. I'm also sure Tom didn't mean to hurt his girlfriend by saying what he did. I'm thinking that the girlfriend was lashing out in anger and hence the phone call. Hopefully they can all get everything settled and all be friends.

[@nicc9613]

omg thank you for using names instead of letters MARK! 👏letters for a name drive me nuts, especially when stories are long. thumbs up even before the video is done

[@dandotvid]

Story 2: A big expensive gift like that should definitely be run by a friend's SO before giving it to them. I'm sure they'll still want them to have it, but possibly at a different time as to have no possibility of outshining during a group event.

[@susankaempfer8427]

Also, “open mine last for maximum effect!” This friend knew exactly what she was doing. 🙄

[@yourfavouritexgf]

@@susankaempfer8427 Agree. She wants to be in the spotlight. I wonder if the gender switch in this case, let's say bf handcraft a handbag for gf's birthday, but gf's rich male friend brought her a designer handbag she wanted and ask her to open the last.

[@yourfavouritexgf]

Story 2, handmade sweater IS THE BEST gift. That watch, you can do a bit saving and get it eventually, but I don't have anyone in my life would handmade me a jumper unfortunately. Gf think of the boyfriend and go and buy the materials and have the time to crochet it, it takes lots of time and efforts, yarns are expensive too!! For the watch? You just saw it and buy it and call it a best gift? Gf is has full right to be upset and OP should be more thoughtful about other people's feelings.

[@seabreezeblank1513]

No decent person would ever tell you to set aside your values and morals for anybody that is your center compass in your life that always has to come first over anyone else I'm not a big Christian but only somebody evil would say that to you

[@Only1199]

OP they are not really great women, Bev actively flirted with a married man and kept manipulating him into a prolonged emotional affair using her emotions. No Bev and Sarah, Bev and Tom are the only ones personally responsible if Tom's marriage fails and for the end of their relationship but no one else is. Sarah and to the extent OP enabled Bev to continue this by constantly running to her side and comforting her when Tom kept flip-flopping. Tom is a scumbag for his part in the emotional affair and his wife deserves better. Sarah better not complain when Bev starts flirting with any boyfriends/partners she has and Bev better not complain if Sarah starts flirting with any boyfriends/partners Bev gets.

[@co7314]

The expensive gift was messed up. If OP gave it to the friend privately, rather than so performatively (in front of everyone), it would be a whole other story.

[@abelink9229]

Then the GF would be mad about "special gifts exchanged in secret". And about friends asking afterwards "wow, where'd you get that watch you wanted for ages" and friend saying "OP gifted me in private".

[@panikosatlas6758]

Yes, lets overcomplicate gift giving to the point that getting someone you care about something they would LOVE becomes a bad thing. Great job guys

[@robertx8020]

How many ppl would thing, when seeing someone giving a 'friend' a $2500 gift " bet they are sleeping togehter" ? What if the friend 'really loves' a ferrari next time? will she get him one too?

[@panikosatlas6758]

@@robertx8020 It just shouldn't be that complicated, plain and simple. People shouldn't have to be afraid of what other people will think when they get a friend- a GOOD friend- a gift.

[@robertx8020]

@@panikosatlas6758 It shouldn't be ...true ...just like it shouldn't be a problem when a man goes on holiday with a woman when they are both in a different relation! Still ppl freak out when it happens People aren't always logical I bet you know that! Should doesn't equal 'can't happen'

[@panikosatlas6758]

​@@robertx8020 Valid. They could have also handled the situation like the grown adults they are instead of jumping to conclusions like the stars of every romantic movie out there. Seeing one thing out of context and making up an entire scenario in your head and then overreacting. I get your point, I just think they're being ridiculous

[@kb1073]

​@robertx8020 I didn't realize that having a conversation and having social awareness was complicated. When you and your friends are single you can do what you want when you want without thought of anyone else. When someone has an SO then conversations happen. This is what I'm doing. This what I'm getting.

[@wildridegaming]

Wait wait wait.. he said he would die of joy if he somehow got his hands on one, and they you turned around and bought him one as a present so he would get his hands on one, which would make him die of joy!! ATTEMPTED MURDER!!!!!

[@Ryugane_Blades]

Story 2: NTA OP found the gift by accident, on a trip, she was not searching for it, and the comments of the girlfriend reek of jealousy, they were multiple other ways for the girlfriend to react and not look like a jealous and possessive girlfriend, like maybe make a simple comment, like asking “were OP found the watch, because she tried to find it and was unable to get it” that way she could still show that she loved his boyfriend without looking like a jealous and possessive girlfriend.

[@dm9078]

Flirt! Is that what the kids are calling it nowadays. But the cheating BF is a manipulative user! Jesus this sounds like some high school ass BS. Why would OP want to be friends with someone like that? Coincidentally she just happened to be in NYC and somehow stumbled into a watch shop that, shock of shocks just happened to have the very expensive vintage watch her totally platonic friend who she has absolutely no romantic feelings for wanted. 😂😂😂😂. Oh man that is hilarious! YTA to yourself for marrying into this lunatic asylum of a family. But NTA in this case! How many times did she say “I really don’t care” in that post. And then the incest comment. Holy crap. I feel for this OP!

[@ShinyShilla]

Story 2 easy, how would OP react if she made (HAND made) a present for her bf, because she couldn't afford an item THAT short of time, and a girl friend of him actually manages to do so, giving it at the end, and he likes so much that basically puts down OP present? If she is happy and ok with it, that go ahead and NTA. If she would feel at least slightly hurt, then maybe think about what happened

[@vanguardangel6912]

Omfg I nearly ran off the road from how hard I was laughing at Bev and Sarah’s late night message to OP was. (Dont worry! It’s audio only and I’m typing this in a Sonic parking lot waiting for a burger!) Just, GOD. “Abandoning all morales to support a friend?” Friends are supposed to be those you know and trust to hold you accountable. A true friend will tell you if you’re in the wrong. You might not like it at first, it’ll hurt, but that’s how we grow.

[@Germania72]

One thing is to get involved with someone not knowing they're married and another is to continue the relationship after the guy opened up about his marital status. I would've cut her off as soon as she does that if I'm so hurt by it and it's not within my principles.

[@samoanjoseph1457]

First I wouldn't stay friends with a cheater since I wouldn't want that done to me. Second assuming I ended the friendship over it, no reason not to expose them, we aren't friends anymore. "These women are not Disney villain characters." Right, because THOSE women get exposed and dealt with.

[@Tokyo_Rose.]

Story two - OP asked him to open hers last. We all know that you save the best till last . . . She was fully aware of what she was doing. It was a rather vulgar gift. The BF reactied like nobody else/thier gift mattered. Just my opinion of course.

[@jakemarie828]

I agree with you Mark about story 2. The gift feels too big and innapropriate.

[@adelag396]

As an adult I listen more to my parents now than before. Realize how when my mom told me that person isn’t a good friend.. she was right !