I Don't Ever Want to be a Mother. Here's Why.

[@Thecraftyblacksheep]

As a mother to a adorable and sweet 2.5 year old little girl; I do not regret having her but what I can say is that it’s not for everyone. Parenthood is exhausting. Its not selfish to not want children. It’s selfish to have them and then neglect them.

[@rosasunsprite8901]

I also think that parents who pressure grownups to have kids are selfish. I mean, their own children would have the choice to have kids or not someday. So I wouldn’t be surprised if they pressure their children, who might end up choosing to be childfree, to give them grandkids, which is selfish since they’re not thinking about how the pressure would affect them.

[@ThomasJDavis]

It is always selfish to not want children

[@rosasunsprite8901]

@@ThomasJDavis It’s selfish for parents to demand grandkids from their adult children

[@daynight33]

@Thomas Davis The best kind of selfish. To put yourself first and understand that you don't have parental instincts is divine. Soo many children are born to people who hate being parents. I'm proud that men and women have more choices today.

[@glitch0000]

It is not for everyone, exactly. Parenthood is for mature and responsible human beings. It is not for weak, selfish and immature big children. Having children requires a lot of courage, faith and sacrifice.

[@smochinaverde]

My best friend went from “you’ll change your mind” or “you’ll see what it’s like soon enough” to “sometimes I’m jealous of your decision to not have kids”.

[@ConiFD]

Exactly the same is happening with mine. Her daughter is amazing, but I wouldn’t trade lives with her for anything, while I’m sure she would happily do with me, at least every now and then

[@asham75]

Same

[@jules_laurent]

As they always do lol

[@jamilgotcher5456]

Sometimes, but most of the time she's not.

[@gingerj4440]

This is my experience as well. In my 20s everyone was SUPER mean about me not wanting kids and now in my 30s I hear constantly how I made the right choice from stressed out parents. I don't want kids ever, including step kids. I had my ah-ha moment when I was 11 about this. I have always known it isnt something that I want to do. Nothing could have prepared me for the amount of hate I received for this. Its just a personal choice and no one is going to suffer as a result of me not having kids so I will never understand the visceral hate.

[@Stranger_Strange_Land]

I broke up with a guy after 4 years because he told me he would replace my birth control with candy. It scared me a little but also opened my eyes to the fact that i wasn't the right person for him

[@julkaxvx1]

this sounds so terrifying and unsafe, I'm glad you've broken up

[@rogerramjet6429]

Good on you. I broke it off with a girlfriend after 5.5 years, because she wanted to do the typical, get married and have kids. Caught her dropping her pills down the sink too. I've never really liked kids, however they seem to like being around me.

[@kristinab1078]

@@rogerramjet6429 The thing is, women have a rather narrow window in which to have a healthy pregnancy between the ages of 20-37. If she had a desire for children, she lost precious time during those 5.5 years. If it was discussed honestly, it would have been best for her to leave within the first year, if she knew the relationship was about shacking long-term without intension for a commitment of marriage or children.

[@Vandicoup]

Wow what a monstrous psychopath. Thank god you got out of that one!

[@Vandicoup]

@@kristinab1078 That's fair

[@donnellcarlson8365]

Years ago a newly married colleague asked me when I was going to have children. I told her that I wasn’t going to have children. She stated, with far too much confidence, that when Id been married for a while that I’d change my mind. I took far too much pleasure in saying, “well, I’ve been married for 13 years and am still not going to have any.” She left me alone at that point. I’ve been married for 28 years now and still no children. Guess I knew more about myself than she did.

[@ayaaly2866]

You made my day😂👍

[@taliahjefferson4966]

I should hope you knew yourself better 🤦‍♀️😂

[@patricia_1303]

I would love to see her face 😂

[@incorectulpolitic]

If you ever wondered, children are future: DEAD rotting bodies in the cemeteries, people filled with unhappiness/loneliness/anxieties/depression/ destructiveness/dependency, pharmaceutical/medical industrial complex’ life long clients/victims, losers, prison/military industrial complex clients/victims, fascists, satanists, totalitarian single digit IQ nobodies, communists, marxists, bolsheviks, leninists, SJWs, BLMs, socialists, mercenaries, toxic drug dealers I mean ‘doctors’ for big pHARMa, lawyers/judges who deny us justice, accountants/tax collectors who rob us, uniformed people who ticket/harass you for no reason, teachers/news anchors who brainwash/indoctrinate everybody with totally retarded/nonsensical/idiotic LIES pretending to be your benevolent parents, ‘law’ makers, inventors of more toxic chemicals contaminating everything you eat/drink/inhale/wear/rub on your body/live in/use/enjoy/spray on yourself and in the air, religious freaks wearing funny clothing and head coverings spreading ‘peace’, modern brown shirt members, prostitutes/escorts/sugar babies, sugar daddies/sugar mamas, female rapists, pimps, health forum users trying to figure out why they have 100s of health symptoms and how to recover from them, welfare/benefit queens/kings, cartel members, starving people, broke(n)/bankrupt people from all points of views, hitmen/hitwomen/assassins, murderers, witches/warlocks who curse others, murderers wearing uniforms-badges/white coats-stethoscopes/suits-ties, control freaks, power tripping psychopaths in positions of ‘authority’, abused people, abusers/users, drunkards, drug addicts, drug dealers, alcoholics, homeless, gang/mafia members, suicide victims, bullies, bullied people, torturers, tortured people, mentally and physically handicapped people, orphans, psychopaths, sociopaths, serial killers, victims of organ harvesting and human trafficking, single mother victims, permanent residents of hell, dead soldiers, racist group gang members, prostitutes, residents of hell, debt slaves, suckers to participate in the rat race that enables the world wide criminal syndicate(royalty, bankers etc.) to stay rich and become richer..,/

[@bisckuttalks]

@@patricia_1303 😂

[@cherylmorrison3]

If you don’t want kids, don’t. Easy decision. Kids deserve parents who want them. So many people feel the same way. Our overpopulated world doesn’t need more unwanted children.

[@xvhkgreen6297]

not overpopulated. you're just repeating dumb things from dumb people.

[@xvhkgreen6297]

you have the mainstream opinion, so cool of you

[@xvhkgreen6297]

We've measured the earth, theres no curve anywhere. We see mountains from 300 miles away, thats not possible on NASA's globe. Theres no proof the earth is moving. The 2nd law of thermodynamics says outerspace isnt real. Cannot have gas pressure next to a vacuum. NASA brainwashes children with globe propaganda from birth. NASA steals $60 million a day from you to shoot helium balloon rockets and satellites into the ocean. Air bubbles in "space", green screens, hair spray in hair to fake zero G, actornots on wires and harnesses. All government and military design documents assume a flat and non rotating earth. Pilots admit its flat. "Flat Earth" is openly censored by government. Real flat earth youtube channels are deleted and anti-flat earth channels are promoted (corporate welfare). NASA means "to deceive" in hebrew. NASA has 666 in their math everywhere. Every picture of space is a literal cartoon image NASA admits is fake. You could collect $20,000 if you prove earth spins. You could collect $200,000 if you prove earth curve.

[@xvhkgreen6297]

you're like a parrot repeating the TV. overpopulated overpopulated, overpopulated/

[@aaaaaa2206]

Our world is not overpopulated. You could argue that China, India are overpopulated because families have lots of kids. Africa, Arab countries are over populated because their populations can not sustain themselves without importing European food. Europe, the USA, Australia, Central Asia are not overpopulate regions. Europe's population is declining. Plus there is enough space in the world for even more low density, green human settlements if we don't continue to desertify the land by factory farming, ploughing, using mono cultures, pesticides, herbicides, chemical fertilizers, genetically modified crops and use low tech, simple, scalable, efficient, not work intensive permaculture methods which is literally used to green the deserts (Geoff Lawton). This method of food production is local, everyone can do it and per land area it produces more food and greenery than modern methods. More greenery means more trees, more trees mean lower temperatures, more oxygen, less carbon.

[@lynneramsey3598]

55 yrs old and childfree. No regrets. My biggest concern was I would be vulnerable when I'm a senior, until I took care of my Mom. I am the youngest of six and stepped forward to take care of my mother when no one else did. Cost me a decade of my life. She died over 10 years ago and I'm still pissed at my siblings. They did NOTHING! Haven't spoken to them since Dad died. There is no guarantee there will be anyone to take care of you when you're old. And it should NOT be your children's responsibility either. That is selfish! I've never been bothered by other people's judgements. They can go pound sand. Cheers to you Eva!

[@FutileGrief]

What would you have done differently if you could do it all over again? I'm kinda stepping into a similar situation.

[@fay5479]

I did the same, thanks to this I have peace...my brother would have let her die of thirst...so glad I don't have a child like my brother. She also treated him special...I think there's something in that, misogynists often have over protective mums who favour them. He recently tried to rob me, I'm not surprised, just gutted.

[@fay5479]

​@@FutileGriefyou must do what is right for you...that will be the legacy. I don't regret a single day I was by my mother's bed...and I also know it is what gives me peace, regardless of anyone else.

[@sarahlo4661]

@@fay5479I’m seeing a trend that it’s adult male children who shirk caretaking duties.

[@fay5479]

@@sarahlo4661 adult male children....as in immature men?

[@cass7658]

I never wanted children and confess I relented to the pressure at 37. I absolutely love my kids, but, if I had my life again, then I would listen to my instincts. I’m not a natural mum, I have to work hard at it, I’m an introvert, I like my space, I like quiet, people talk to much, life is very social when you have children and that’s not me. Because I went against my instincts I had to work much harder to be a good mum. Listen to your instincts!

[@Alice_Walker]

This is such an important point of view. Thanks for sharing 💜

[@mineandmine4528]

@cass7658 Thank you for sharing your wisdom on this topic. Not many mothers admit this .

[@cauecarvalho6996]

omg thats so selfish im just amazed

[@pamcornelius9122]

You’ve described me perfectly. I had two children but I wasn’t a very good mom for all the reasons you stated. My parents divorced and my mother left our home when I was four years old. My step mother was only 10 years older than me so I never had a good example of how to be a mother. My daughter hasn’t spoken to me for years and my son is emotionally distant from me.

[@phorn100]

@@thatperson9835 The obviously don't have kids. Divorce him and move on. What I don't understand is why the SIMP married you? Surely if you're not on the same page with regards to having children then that is a major red flag.

[@ngonigriffith1491]

I am 50, single never married, and childfree. I am so glad I never had children. I am able to take care of my elderly parents without any worries. I have traveled, I completed my education, I have worked. Most importantly, I am happy.

[@robertvasquez8684]

Are you a woman?

[@Love-kc6yk]

@@MoroccanSama you seem like the one that needs to accept your fate. For such hostility cannot come from an acceptance of one's fate or even happiness.

[@MoroccanSama]

@@Love-kc6yk noop this is not hostility. Just facts. You need to understand wat faith means. Talkimg nonsense.

[@automnejoy5308]

@@MoroccanSama You don't sound educated.

[@MoroccanSama]

@@automnejoy5308 lol I'm am honey. Prob higher than you..but I'm not here to proof anybody. Get out of her ahhhz, nobody was talking to you. Are you this desprate for attention that you have to get in the middle🤣poor sheep.

[@gregwarner3753]

Anne and I did not want to have children. We were married for 52 years without children. We were not alone. She passed away a year and a half ago. Now I understand lonely. Lonely can be quiet and difficult. In my case I found things like You Tube and people like you. You have helped me get through the depression. Thank you.

[@Camilla_Kudrin]

Sad😢 May your wife rest in peace 🙏🏻

[@OxiCleansGaming]

@@Camilla_Kudrin yes

[@gregwarner3753]

@@Camilla_Kudrin Thank You.

[@Pankaj-4572PR]

Really sad to hear your experience, but what is the conclusion should we have a kids then?😢

[@gregwarner3753]

@@Pankaj-4572PR Should, would, could are all less important than individual woman WANTS to have children. It is her body and her decision. Thank you for your consideration. GregW

[@kjellfrode]

One positive thing about social media is that all of us who don't want children don't feel so alone anymore.

[@LorenCognita]

Right 🥹

[@shafalisingh54]

Yep ❤

[@veetahbee1368]

I love that we’re finding our tribes

[@bisckuttalks]

@@veetahbee1368 me

[@JavierS83]

Yes!

[@wessager8659]

In America, I personally know of more parents taking care of grown children, than children taking care of aged parents.

[@realityobserver7521]

Omg this!!!! The narcissistic media culture has created a whole generation of shitty parents. It is crazy how many grandparents are doing the job. But it ends there because trust me todays parents won't be good grandparents like that.

[@eb1042]

BRAVO‼️‼️‼️ EXACTLY‼️‼️‼️ WHO CAN AFFORD THEM❓❓

[@Kensuke22]

Exactly

[@blaggfield]

70 years of child free and no regrets

[@achristianson4059]

It’s not too late

[@alexanderweikle]

​@@achristianson4059It is too late.

[@747maran]

...keep saying to yourself, I made the right decision, I made the right decision, i'm happy and content..

[@cutecorgiis5230]

@@747maran they _are_ though. why do yall find it so hard to believe?

[@Olliemaxx1]

@@cutecorgiis5230Because these weirdos think having kids is the only happiness and that one person is repeating to their self because it sounds like they are having a panic attack and trying to not regret having kids 😭

[@dmunoz1943]

A friend of my husband once told him, “its a blessing if you have children and it’s a blessing if you don’t.” And it’s true, so many responsibilities and life changing things happen when you have kids…my husband and I had 4 we recently lost one of sons, that is the hardest thing a parent can experience, to bury a child. Our son was married and they had no children, not because it was their choice. Families come in all forms, from your friends, to your pets, and life is not defined by how many children you have or didn’t but by how you lived it, how you treated your neighbors or the stranger s in your journey. The kindness and goodness you pass on to the world. Good Luck on your life journey

[@kenhayhurst374]

Dionisia, I am also the father of 4. I too lost my youngest daughter. A parent is NOT supposed to bury a child. I feel for your loss. She left me 3 grandkids. Circumstances prevented much of a relationship with them but I love them dearly anyway. I also have a decent long-distance relationship with a g-son and am very close with my youngest g-daughter. As you said, families come in all forms. Life and relationships are what you make of them.

[@rosa9251]

@@kenhayhurst374 why do people say that a parent is “NOT supposed to bury a child” when it happens EVERY day? My first born and only son died by choice at 27. It’s REALITY.

[@kenhayhurst374]

@@rosa9251 It IS a reality, yes. ". . not supposed to. . " is just how it feels. Your parents bury your g-parents, then you them, then your children you, etc. That's how it's 'supposed' to be. I've buried 3 of the most important women in my life. My daughter, Mom, and wife in that order. All are different but just as hard. I'm sorry for your loss. "By choice" is a wrinkle I've not dealt with. It MUST be another level of difficult.

[@victoriasegall3404]

@@rosa9251 your name is much too beautiful for you. You need to learn compassion AND empathy! Do better! 😠

[@rosa9251]

@@victoriasegall3404 you sound DUMB. Reality sucks sometimes. It is what it is‼️ WTH does my name have to do with anything⁉️ You sugar coated people that can’t handle the truth is who needs to do better‼️ Don’t tell me CRAP about showing compassion. I just shared my last $24 in tips with a young lady on the bus after work who is experiencing homelessness. What kind of compassion do YOU actually exhibit⁉️ Or are you one of those people that like to judge people experiencing homelessness❓ Or maybe you’re the type that likes to sit on your high horse judging someone about their lack of compassion based on something like their name❓ Go take a nap‼️🤣

[@BeingHumane173]

Women don't owe this world or anyone any kid/kids, no matter what. Motherhood is Not an Obligation, it's every woman's personal choice. Its totally ok to be childfree. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise. Stay strong ! And yeah, you are not alone. We are with you, myself yet another childfree person. Do not want any kid/kids ever.

[@sliceofpie1741]

Indeed. Also motherhood has nothing to do with being a mother. Else we would have a world full of selfless people. A large majority of parents who choose to procreate are mostly doing it with a selfish motive of passing on their genes. Let's understand motherhood is about caring for the other as your own. You don't necessarily have to reproduce for that

[@incorectulpolitic]

If you ever wondered, children are future: DEAD rotting bodies in the cemeteries, people filled with unhappiness/loneliness/anxieties/depression/ destructiveness/dependency, pharmaceutical/medical industrial complex’ life long clients/victims, losers, prison/military industrial complex clients/victims, fascists, satanists, totalitarian single digit IQ nobodies, communists, marxists, bolsheviks, leninists, SJWs, BLMs, socialists, mercenaries, toxic drug dealers I mean ‘doctors’ for big pHARMa, lawyers/judges who deny us justice, accountants/tax collectors who rob us, uniformed people who ticket/harass you for no reason, teachers/news anchors who brainwash/indoctrinate everybody with totally retarded/nonsensical/idiotic LIES pretending to be your benevolent parents, ‘law’ makers, inventors of more toxic chemicals contaminating everything you eat/drink/inhale/wear/rub on your body/live in/use/enjoy/spray on yourself and in the air, religious freaks wearing funny clothing and head coverings spreading ‘peace’, modern brown shirt members, prostitutes/escorts/sugar babies, sugar daddies/sugar mamas, female rapists, pimps, health forum users trying to figure out why they have 100s of health symptoms and how to recover from them, welfare/benefit queens/kings, cartel members, starving people, broke(n)/bankrupt people from all points of views, hitmen/hitwomen/assassins, murderers, witches/warlocks who curse others, murderers wearing uniforms-badges/white coats-stethoscopes/suits-ties, control freaks, power tripping psychopaths in positions of ‘authority’, abused people, abusers/users, drunkards, drug addicts, drug dealers, alcoholics, homeless, gang/mafia members, suicide victims, bullies, bullied people, torturers, tortured people, mentally and physically handicapped people, orphans, psychopaths, sociopaths, serial killers, victims of organ harvesting and human trafficking, single mother victims, permanent residents of hell, dead soldiers, racist group gang members, prostitutes, residents of hell, debt slaves, suckers to participate in the rat race that enables the world wide criminal syndicate(royalty, bankers etc.) to stay rich and become richer../'[]

[@vindhyapoosham444]

Me tooo

[@ThatGuy-tx4vm]

Just one problem though. You are supporting not having children, others support the opposite. Both sides should be equally free to make their case. You are saying in your comment do not let anyone tell you otherwise, well those that advocate for kids say the opposite. Let people say whatever their opinion is. In the end just be sure to make your own choice instead of someone elses

[@incorectulpolitic]

@@ThatGuy-tx4vm no, the breediot side can't obtain the consent of the person they are trying to kidnap into this dimension. That is the entire point.

[@plamid9365]

'You're complete the day you were born. The life is about you, everyone else is a secondary character.' My friend you said it all!

[@bangmo2860]

Extinction of the human race ...

[@devilsoffspring5519]

The strange part is that this perspective is considered "selfish." From what I've consistently seen in my 47 years there are very, very few things in life that are more selfish than having children. It's all about having power over someone and pushing your personal agenda on another person who's much too small to do anything about it.

[@sealdeep6431]

​@@devilsoffspring5519thank you so much for this statement. As a young adult, I'm lucky enough to have supportive parents in my life, but there are friends in my generation that don't have the support they need. Either being neglected, forced to do what their parents want (the parents even choose their university or job decision later, and not letting them have a word about their life), I realize that not everyone is capable of raising a child without forcing/neglect/abuse them 😢. Therefore having children is a big life long job that anyone must consider before doing it.

[@luna498-h5z]

@@devilsoffspring5519 Imo everyone is selfish, just in different ways. Examples: Childfree people: Don't want to take care of children? Want to focus on yourself only? Selfish! People with kids: Scared of being lonely? Want more happiness (by having children)? Selfish! Let's all just be selfish in our own ways.

[@devilsoffspring5519]

@@luna498-h5z Damn, a mind that thinks like mine does!! Are you female and cute? (Sorry, I don't have any money so fuck it)

[@ConiFD]

I was told by a very close friend that I would never be a real woman until I had a child. So here I am, traveling the world, in a happy and healthy relationship with a man that also wants to be childfree, being the happiest I’ve ever been, but apparently I’m an ameba 😂 I’ll take ameba over mother any day, as long as it’s under my own worldview!

[@victoriasegall3404]

Good for you! I wish you and your husband many years of happiness and fun together. And your "friend" was dead wrong. You ARE a real woman. Why? Because you are true to yourself, and you are living life on your own terms.

[@kanashiihime6753]

I hope that "very close friend" is no longer a friend.

[@batissta44]

with friends like that who needs .......

[@dr-mon-v3i]

they say it only out of spite. I can't imagine to say something like this to other person imposing your way of life on them. Can you imagine saying "you won't be a whole woman if you won't travel/have your business or career/have a pet/garden" It is so rude, nobody says so, because they are happy with their choice and they don't care. They say that because they want to drag you down so you feel as bad as them.

[@jamessparkman6604]

@@kanashiihime6753 I agree people should stop having children for at least 10 years And what’s more from now on tree pod burials should be the new norm everywhere how about not have children until a time when there aren’t too many humans on this planet that way all consumption of resources will slow down with the passing of time

[@deeporter7369]

I am 67, married for 32 years, childfree by choice. Not an iota of regret. I've never felt much pressure from family or friends to have kids but it is surprising what strangers/acquaintances will say or assume. You are responsible for your own happiness, whatever route you choose.

[@chocolateprincess8543]

Congratulations.🤍🤍🤍

[@bisckuttalks]

Great aunty i m young i will marry a fo giro who dont want kid

[@mineandmine4528]

@deeporter7369, I look up to you !

[@avikazak655]

Adopt don't Breed

[@navycrewbrother1]

I’ve really seen the zeitgeist shift on this. As a 40 year old guy who’s never wanted kids I’ve gone from people recoiling in disgust in my 20s to parents now confiding in me that maybe they shouldn’t have had kids. Declaring yourself to be child free reduces your pool of potential partners, but leads to a much happier relationship in the long run. No hate to those with kids; I have friends who are parents who totally love it.

[@jodyodell90]

I married and divorced young. Then, around 30, I realized that I did not want children or to live a traditional life. I have lived and traveled abroad most of my adult life, intermittently going back to the US. I’m 50 now and I’ve never regretted not having children. The freedom and all of the amazing experiences I’ve had are priceless! I wouldn’t change a thing. Who care about others’ opinions; live the life you want!

[@MrsSlocombesPuddyCat]

Oh lucky you. Sounds like a fabulous lifestyle. Wish I could do the same. I am happily childless by choice but also very poor

[@johnheiam5706]

When I was about 14 I decided I didn't want children when I grew up. When I told my Dad he said that it wasn't my choice to make. The woman made that choice. I thought, Oh, yeah, I'll just get a vasectomy before I get married! Twenty year later, just before my wife and I got married, I got a vasectomy. We are both now in our 70's ,and we are so happy we made that decision to remain child free. I couldn't"t imagine what our life would have been with children.

[@grantcivyt]

L.A. Paul talks about this in "Transformative Experiences." She evokes a funny parallel with vampirism. It's a rare human that wants to become a vampire, but, once bitten, vampires seem to be pretty pleased with themselves, their immortality and agelessness.

[@StancyNova]

Thank you for sharing this story! The world needs to hear more stories like yours!!!

[@markmitchell457]

Did the same. I agree!

[@jeffgreene3059]

I also decided quite young that I didn't want children, I think I was about 17-18 years old at the time, im now 57 no regrets.

[@jamilgotcher5456]

I've had the honor of taking care of my parents in their old age. And we have always been so glad we've had each other. I've been happy that I could take care of them because of all the selfless things they did for me their whole lives. They never once made me feel obligated to take care of them, it's what I wanted to do. We've grown so close during this stage of their lives. I love them so much and am so glad that I have an adult daughter.

[@HansensUniverseT-A]

As a 31 year old man i chose a quiet life without a partner and children, paved my own way instead of following the traditional handbook, stay truthful to yourself don't let anyone infringe on that.

[@chitown7110]

Amen brother 🙏

[@rostislavsvoboda7013]

Men are expendable, so don't congratulate yourself too much, or berate yourself either. The human species won't go extinct even if a third of all men were to die tomorrow. However, the scenario could be different if a third of women of reproductive age were to suddenly disappear.

[@RobertMJohnson]

you sound like a bit of a fool on this topic.

[@woodanemone9758]

You sound like a nice person. I also dream about a quiet life. I am open for a partner, but I want a living space where we don't have to be together 24/7, potentially separate bedrooms.

[@Rolando_Cueva]

​@@rostislavsvoboda7013 not even close, three billion women is still A LOT of women.

[@camiellia_choo_3151]

I'm 39 years old, been divorced and married twice, child free. After watching this video and reading the comments here, now I know I'm not alone for not wanting to have children. Really happy to know that there are so many people in the world out there, who share the same mindset. ❤️

[@Pink_pr1ncess]

Divorces are hard enough for childfree couples just imagine how messy they are WITH children 😬

[@helloify498]

@ Camiella_choo_ : I'm 39 yo never married no childfree and don't want kids. Enjoying my life this way. I'm happy to know there are other women like me #ChildfreeCrew

[@bisckuttalks]

I m 24 i will marry a girl who dont want kids

[@lydokope5210]

@@bisckuttalks don't marry if she wants kids if she insist on you To have child don't do it if I were you I will break up with her

[@bisckuttalks]

@@lydokope5210 your name

[@leunam3434]

90% of life’s problems will never happen if you don’t have kids.

[@UrsaBella]

100% of life's problems never happen in life if you never live....

[@MultiSuperguy101]

@@UrsaBellabe fucking quiet

[@AwwesomlyAwwwetumn]

U wouldn’t have been born so ig you’re part of the problem

[@dystopianaverice1981]

If u never suffer u never live.

[@minaso81307]

​@@dystopianaverice1981Bullshit

[@realdragon]

I like how "you're selfish" and "who's gonna take care of you when you're old" are both arguments to have kids. Like having kids so you can take away part of their own life to take care of you isn't selfish

[@darcy5761]

Not mention that nursing homes are filled with people whose children never visit or care for them.

[@MrsSlocombesPuddyCat]

Having children so you have someone to look after you is immensely selfish.

[@leroyj3627]

It's not. It is the natural order of life. Expecting 'other people's' kids to take care of you and to provide for you when you are too old or infirm to care for yourself... well, an argument can be made that that is selfish, can it not?

[@realdragon]

@@leroyj3627 The "natural order of life" is questionable

[@kiriebalaka]

​@leroyj3627 many animals kill off their older parents etc. So should we do everything natural?

[@serenaroseauthentics1391]

I turn 44 this year. Never had the urge to have kids. Always knew it. Got zero regrets and a wonderful life

[@bertog1217]

Good for you

[@RobertMJohnson]

imagine if your mother had done the same.

[@iiCounted-op5jx]

@@RobertMJohnson that would be great! no one needs to be born, humans need to stop reproducing and bringing innocent children into the world just to suffer until death, put an end to humanity for good we have no reason to be here!

[@melfreemans]

​@@RobertMJohnsonimagine a world without internet trolls...

[@RobertMJohnson]

@@melfreemansawww. The little fascist hall monitor has trouble with context

[@tanyagarvin3422]

I am 53 and have grandchildren. Knowing what I know now...I maybe would not have had children. The world can be a harsh place at times and raising children is the most difficult thing. I support whatever other's think is right for them. This culture focuses too much on what you should or should not do with your life. Just live and let live. Life is way to short to not be happy.

[@ridermanpatel4112]

yes baby , very true

[@nasrataj8265]

@@themissdior1235 So sad and sorry for your loss. You hv put it so correctly "what would be, would be." While it's a free choice to not have a child but having children is a beautiful experience for some of us. I for one cherish the presence of my only grandson. He brings my such happiness, joy and peace. Wish everyone good luck with whatever choices they make.

[@jamesmandahl444]

Haha wtf this is a horrifying community lol I'm gtfo of this devilish video and comment section. Damn

[@mdt13]

@@jamesmandahl444🤣

[@MuhammadIamhardBrucelee]

Do you regret having children? I don’t care one way or the other if people have kids or not but they don’t have to make some kind of manifesto video about it with a lot of drama. Ultimately, someone has to pop out babies to keep humanity going till extinction.

[@thehohnstead]

My husband and I created the life we LOVE and children would absolutely change all of that. My own mom even said would you like for your life to change completely, I said No, and that was the end of that conversation, she supports me in our decision (my father doesnt), and at the end if the day whose decision is it...mine.

[@mrx-od3ji]

live anyway you want and if you want kids or if you dont want any i respect your choice.

[@adudeczka]

I'm a woman in my late thirties and I also have never wanted children. If anything, my conviction that I don't want any offspring is stronger now than ever. I thought that if I was ever going to get "the urge" it would start in my mid-thirties just as my biological clock started ticking. But the opposite happened :P I am very comfortable with my choice.

[@jamesjackson2875]

With our current Republican installed Supreme Court you can't legally make your own decisions about childbearing. With the recent overturning of Roe by the Republican Supreme Court you can't terminate a pregnancy, even in cases of rape and incest, birth control could be illegal in some states and other freedoms that are taken for granted can be taken away. Women, who didn't even get the right to vote in this country until 150 years after our Constitution was written, should not be too complacent about the freedoms they have. Thanks for bringing attention to these issues.

[@nancyyeeting2176]

I'm in my sixties and never regretted not having kids. Most of my friends do not have kids either. Looking at the way of the world, it's the right decision.

[@violetlunna]

​@@wheatstonebridge she means people who don't have kids, is it hard to understand? Lol

[@EngageYourFrontalLobe]

For you. The right decision FOR YOU.

[@iminyourcity4001]

@@EngageYourFrontalLobefor everyone, fuck this planet it’s a joke

[@stridecoaching]

At 10 years old I knew I didn't want children. I am now 40 without kids and I have no regrets.

[@Ekkiert8]

I almost made the mistake to have a child out of social pressure from women. I’m 40 now and I’m happy I didn’t. Pleasing people has never lead me to happiness or peace. It just leaves me with regret and no one to blame but me. I decided to stop pleasing to be accepted and be conscious about my decision’s and to understand that just because EVERYONE IS DOING THE SAME THING DOESNT MEAN I SHOULD NOR IT BE THE BEST FOR ME ❤️

[@ofhawksandhummingbirds]

I remember shocking adults as a 5 year old... they didn't believe me when I'd say matter-of-factly that I neither wanted to be married nor have children. Still going strong over 30 years later. 💪🏽🤸🏽‍♀️

[@Alice_Walker]

Same! 💜

[@jacktaylor9290]

35 isn't old but the clock is ticking.

[@ofhawksandhummingbirds]

@@jacktaylor9290 Ticking for what? Wanting to be married and have kids? What are you saying? I've wanted kids and marriage less now than I ever have so the clock will continue to tick. So let it be written, so shall it be done. Peace out.

[@jacktaylor9290]

@@ofhawksandhummingbirds 🕒

[@ofhawksandhummingbirds]

@@jacktaylor9290 Given that time is artificially accelerated here in lower earth anyway, your clock emoji and persistence in making zero points and adding no clarity to senseless comments are only prompting me in using my time in demonstrating - through your comments and not through procreating - the number one reason why I would never have children. Congrats, Jack, for inadvertently taking one for Team Child Free Women and for being an example to us all.

[@janeblackbird2376]

I'm one of those horrible baby boomers and I chose to not have kids in my 20's. Instead I worked and travelled. Out of my small circle of friends 3 of us chose not to have children. We also planned to grow old together and be supportive of one another. Now 2 are dead as well as that plan. It gets harder to make friends or find a partner as you age so your world gets smaller as people close to you die or just drift off on another path. I don't regret not having children or a partner in life. Now I work on facing the end of a beautiful life alone, struggling with the aches and pains old age brings on and trying to live on a fixed income. Lastly, if you live in the US don't count on the government to be very helpful. Good luck everyone. Cheers!

[@ladyliberty]

It's YOUR PATH. Life is like a river on an inner tube. We all have our own ride. People ride along side for a while and branch off. Your ride is just as beautiful as some others and it's your ride. I'm in the exact same place but doing OK.

[@crystalmarie000]

hey its been a year since you made this comment, how are you doing?

[@evazubeck]

Really happy I could share this viewpoint, especially knowing how many like-minded people are out there, thinking they're the only ones in the world to feel this way. You're not alone ⚡️

[@sommer1982official]

Uff, it feels like a relief watching this video. That feeling of not being alone. I love your wide perspective on topics and looking at things from a non-mainstream angle, it’s so refreshing! My cup of tea 🙌💛

[@Gheeba86]

I really appreciate your content and I’m so happy to see you and Vilk in your progression of getting to know one another. That being said, I’d like to know what your viewpoint is on when abortion is appropriate and when it is too late to terminate the pregnancy 🤰 🫃or should it be an option up until the baby is born? I know it’s kind of a heavy topic but seeing how these two go hand-in-hand I’d like to know what you think 💭 I have two fur 🐕 babies myself and raising a puppy these last two years I have swayed my thinking in regards to being a father as a male. Obviously I wouldn’t go through the hardships of giving birth but I’ve been way more receptive to the idea lately, for the most part of my life I was a person that felt very similar to your beliefs in having kids but now I’ve become more open to all or any options depending on the situation. ✌️ safe travels 🛶 🏕

[@charlesgoodwin5016]

You are a treasure, Eva. Thank you for starting this channel. I really think it will be a place of learning, and healing.

[@zaidali3042]

You can have dog but not a child of ur own..hypocrisy at its best😊

[@seanrice1222]

@@charlesgoodwin5016 I agree completely

[@Flutterbyby]

I knew I didn’t want children when I was 18. I’m now 40. No amount of pressure has changed my mind (as Chinese in ethnicity you can imagine the extreme questioning from aunts & uncles & my mum, including suggesting ivf to pop out a baby to raise by myself). After being adamant that I’m happy being single & child-free, most around me have accepted. My freedom is my most valueable asset in my life which I place above my wealth. Thanks for being brave & publically sharing this, in spite of the pushback from those who don’t understand. I do not judge those who love marriage & kids. Each to their own 🥰

[@waterfirelord]

fluteerbyby, For me I don't want kids because the money problems that come with kids, the stress, the 24/7 work even they turn 18 years,

[@MelindaKucsera]

Me too.

[@waterfirelord]

@@MelindaKucsera plus the health issus i have and the mental issuea that I have. it's bad for me and the kids

[@MelindaKucsera]

@@waterfirelord understood. You don't need to justify your decision. It's your decision. You decide what to do with your body. No one else.

[@waterfirelord]

@@MelindaKucsera thanks

[@warthog473]

"Who will take care of you when you're old" Answer-the staff at a nursing home, like my mom, who did geriatric nursing for almost 50 years. She often used to stay after her shifts, even on holidays, to visit with residents on her floor because they were very lonely and family didn't visit often. And they all had kids and grandkids. She'd hear all the time, "My kids and grandkids went to Aspen for Christmas " or "My grandkids are at summer camp for 3 months." So yeah, there's that.

[@jaaa3274]

There won’t be enough staff either

[@jbone9900]

​@@jaaa3274 robots the future

[@lolajl]

@@jbone9900 Who wants to interact with robots? I don't.

[@robsledgegroupie]

"Who's gonna take care of you when you're old?" I love how parents PRESUME they won't alienate their kids and that they'll have time and energy to actually care for them in old age. The people paid to care for me will watch after me when I'm old 🤷‍♀️ same as many parents

[@mrx-od3ji]

i dont want kids or need kids no kids for me they will make me unhappy.

[@bisckuttalks]

@@mrx-od3ji me to i will marry a girl who dont want kids

[@bisckuttalks]

But tekl how pm of india is living only with servabts how many bachelors are living

[@sarahsselection]

I once worked in admin at a care home. Believe me; so many kids never bother to visit their elderly parents...

[@LondonMoneyCashEnterprise]

but the people paid to take care of you are other people's children?

[@mixtapetravels9242]

I'm a bit further along on this path. I'm 53 and very happy that I chose a life of travel and adventures over children. Never felt the desire for them in my 20s, 30s or 40s. Don't regret my choice one bit, especially when I hear friends and colleagues venting about the reality of their child-laden choices. People have stopped asking when, or telling me that I'll change my mind, but still do love to throw in a bit of "you'll never understand that level of love". Maybe not, but they'll never understand how amazing a life of adventure is ...

[@elzoog]

Try this experiment with people who bother you for not having children. VERY important that they don't know what question comes next. I guarantee you, that you will not have to modify the questions based on the situation. 1) Name someone you think is a great person (Einstein, Beethoven, or whoever, very important you let the person you are talking to choose without knowing what question comes next). 2) Do you know whether or not this person had children? 3) Do you even care to look up whether this person had children or not? Some things to point out. Take Beethoven for example 1) Even if there is nobody today who can trace their ancestry back to Beethoven, his legacy lives on. Whereas you probably don't know who your great great great grandfather was (without looking him up) and you probably don't care what he thought or felt. His legacy, is pretty much effectively dead. Small comfort that you share some of his "genetic material" 2) Beethoven was probably way too busy composing music to take care of a kid. If he did sacrifice his "selfish hobby" to take care of a kid then, like your great great great grandfather, he would not have left a legacy. Maybe his "genetic material" is something you can spend countless hours enjoying instead? 3) In order for Beethoven to be successful at composing music, he had to have many ADULTS helping him along the way (kids would obviously be too immature to be any help). These ADULTS probably didn't nag him about "giving up his selfish hobby to have children so that he can be fulfilled" Would be really interested to see what responses you get.

[@automnejoy5308]

​@@elzoog That's very clever. It's true. No one cares if any great person had kids or not. It's only notable if that great person also had a great kid that achieved a similar level of renown, like John Adams and John Quincy Adams. But that is pretty rare. (John Adams also had a couple of other sons who were alcoholics and caused him a lot of grief and aggravation!) And people certainly don't care about the great-great-great grandchildren that exist today of a long-dead famous person, if any exist. They are so watered down from their ancestor, with so many other genetic lines added in since then, it's like there's no link there at all. They're shopping at the grocery store just like you, nothing to distinguish them as a descendant of that person... just another average human descended from the hominin family tree. Conversely, no one cares about the parents of famous people... like how many people know who Beethoven's parents were? Very few. It is kind of ironic, as you pointed out, that in the pursuit of creating a "genetic legacy" you might decrease your chances of creating an ACTUAL legacy because you are sacrificing your individuality to raise kids, and people will only remember you based on your individual achievements!

[@elzoog]

​@@automnejoy5308 Yeah, so unless you really want to have kids, staying single makes sense. If you really want to "leave a legacy" you actually have a better chance trying to do something yourself. The odds are still pretty slim, but are probably better.

[@ManiaReina]

If having a kid means that adventure is over than better never have kids! Your children will be miserable…A child can be a perfect companion for your adventures as well , is all up to you and how you raise. And no , I don’t have kids and I don’t want but because of a different reason. They don’t look like a problem to travel to me

[@automnejoy5308]

@@ManiaReina Kids do best in a stable, stationary environment. Same school, same house, same friends. Kids that are moved around a lot develop issues. You can go on a couple of family trips a year, but they must be less than a week so that they don't interfere with school. You don't want the kid to fall behind. And the trips will be all about what the kid wants, not what you want. So it's Disneyland or something. Yes, adventure absolutely takes a nose dive when you have kids (or it SHOULD anyway) and that's just the truth of the matter.

[@shwedagonpaya]

Being childfree is the most selfless, altruistic thing you can do. It's the exact opposite of ME, ME, ME AND WANT, WANT, WANT!

[@johannakuster1564]

No. Selfish is to get children because "thats normal", and then put all the unprocessed problems onto the kids. And generalizing is always false. So no, of course not all parents are like this. We are individuals. Some of us take other goals and Tasks in life. We should not judge but embrace other sights in love.

[@landsknecht8654]

​@@johannakuster1564so how is being a parent and sacrificing to make a human being to exist for the Next Generation selfish? The whole videos about me me me me me me me, that's literally what it was. The consequences of not having children is already affecting the West in Japan. Ukrainian is running out of men to defend their country because their birth rates are low. The statistics she gave her a lot of bogus, the idea of one out of five people in the French Revolution didn't have a child is because a lot of them died before they could have one. In the world population is actually dropping not increasing which worries a lot of leaders including Elon Musk talked about the population crash.

[@polarisedelectrons]

@@landsknecht8654 It's selfish nowadays largely because of social media and the age of comparison. I acknowledge that not all individuals are like this, but I have known women who get married and have children simply because they want to flaunt their status to everybody on social media. It becomes all about their own identity and their own 'achievement' of being married and having babies, and reminding everybody about it constantly, rather than about actually sacrificing their own desires in order to raise a responsible next generation. I have also known women who have had children because they wanted someone or something in their life that they assumed would love and comfort them unconditionally, and not because they wanted to give their own unconditional love. Also, the world population is absolutely not dropping. Just the opposite. The population growth is _slowing_ , but it is projected to grow from 8 billion (according to the U.N. Population Division) in 2022 to 10.2 billion by 2060.

[@randomdude8892]

​@@landsknecht8654It's selfish to have kids but not necessarily to raise kids, these are two different things. Also, having kids to fix population collapse, is basically using kids as a mean to an end without them having a say. Also, my "hypothetical kids" don't owe the world anything.

[@farhhana9336]

Having kids il also à me me thing. You guys want 'lienage' 😅LOL

[@mirjambezikofer8385]

I am a mom of four. However, I am also a wife, friend, colleague, university graduate, literary scholar, teacher, etc. There is so much more, that makes up my peronality, than the number of children, who I birthed. I have always wanted to have children and I feel immensely blessed that I got to have my children. Yet I would never expect anyone to naturally want children, just like I would never expect every single other person to make the same career choices that I made. It's a very personal choice. I believe that, in an ideal world, every child born should be a child, who is wanted and very much loved. If you don't feel called to be a parent, don't have children. It's that easy. I am sorry that people, who choose to remain child free, face so much judgement. I am wishing nothing but the best for you.

[@thatperson9835]

I wish my mother was like you. You're such a wonderful woman.

[@cristalreynoso8883]

We need more people like you in this world. ❤

[@RobertMJohnson]

there may be more to your personality than your being a mother, however, your "other" accomplishments (?) are not impressive in the least to me compared to being a good parent.

[@Childfree334]

​@@RobertMJohnsonGood thing OP doesn't care about what you think of her life. She is not married to YOU. But we all cry😢 for the woman who is.

[@RobertMJohnson]

@@Childfree334 you’re projecting. We all know men can’t stand you in the least. And you live with that pain and reality. Meanwhile I have the sweetest and most beautiful woman in the world by my side.

[@JudithRing]

The best thing about being 45 is that people have stopped asking me those "questions" for a few years now 😃! It's so wonderful to be free of them. I love my life. Being a creative person I have focused on creating things, not people! No regrets whatsoever. I admire people who have kids. It's the toughest job by a long shot!! People should be allowed to follow their instincts even when there's a lot of pressure from society, family and friends! Having a child is not a decision to be taken lightly!!

[@soneelita]

We had a patient who had a baby at 52.😊

[@pamelatorres156]

The reason other people peer pressure you to have children is because they want you to be as exhausted, ground down and as miserable as they are. There are much better ways to leave behind a legacy, like making art or writing novels. Parents are jealous of the fact that you can sleep for 8 hours and cook a nice meal without being disrupted.

[@angkhoa1216]

Also they legit forget we can adopt a kid.

[@pamelatorres156]

@@angkhoa1216 that's true. There's already too many people suffering and struggling in the world. Forcing another person into existence is the most selfish and monstrous thing we can ever do.

[@libnitebache2145]

I'm 38 years old and decided not to have children long time ago, it feels so good knowing that I'm not alone in this! Thanks for sharing Eva

[@heidymendez7508]

I’m 41 and I always knew I didn’t want kids and I still have not changed my mind . I’m so happy I didn’t let anyone change my mind and followed my heart . I don’t regret it . I have so much less stress. People with kids have much more stress, less time, more tired, less financially stable and overall way more responsibility. No thanks 😅

[@cbxxb4841]

There is a much bigger issue here (though the childless issue is important too) of People not allowing others to be themselves. Be aware of this and you will see it all the time. just because you think something is "right" should not mean you have to force that upon others, yet so many people try to do exactly that.

[@peppercat8188]

When I was a child I told adults I didn't want children and of course they didn't take me seriously. I'm 50 this year, Childfree and very content with my decision.

[@ScottDivers]

My wife of almost 28 years now, and I choose to be child-free a very long time ago. We both have had health issues for most of our lives, and this has certainly swayed us to the choice of not having children of our own. We both really like kids and think they are a great thing. It is more than just OK to choose not to have children, for whatever reason you may have.

[@thatperson9835]

Haven't you thought of adopting a child? I'm a young woman who has a weak health. If I were a man, I would probably love to have kids. But I am the one who is responsible for bearing a child and making the most of the work after it. That's why I haaaaaaate the idea of motherhood. I'd love to adopt a kid, but not bare it myself. Besides, those 0-4 years old kids... Ahhhh, I hate them!

[@shadmansakib9324]

​@@thatperson9835 If you hate kids from 0-4 then you probably don't deserve to adopt a kid

[@thatperson9835]

@@shadmansakib9324 Lol. Well. You might be right but I don't care. Life is amazing unless you are a woman who gave birth.

[@shadmansakib9324]

@@thatperson9835 I am the eldest of five siblings. I have helped my mother in taking care of my youngest. Sometimes it does take a toll on me. But when my youngest sibling smiles and happy. All the burden and stress smoothly goes away

[@thmoney25]

Most people have kids because that is what society pushes. I used to want to have kids only because that is what other people wanted for me. You can always adopt or have foster children if you change your mind. Their are a lot of children that were put into the system because their parents did not want them. It is your choice. I have a hard enough time taking care of myself, emotionally, financially, and spiritually. Do not let people make you feel bad.

[@cleovivas]

Hi Eva. I think this channel is a great idea to build community. I'm 57 years old and I had to face the "being single and childless" as a course for a long time. I used to feel bad, desperate and anxious until one day I decided to embraced and everything change in my life. Later I understood my anxiety was more for social pressure, than my inner feeling of having a husband and raising a child. I don't criticize who wants to get married and have children, but I ask for respect for my decision of not getting married and not having a child. I don't want to justify, explain, give reasons, not even discussed. It's my decision and I just want to be respected for that. It is great to be able to share my thoughts about it and realize I'm not the only one. Thank you

[@Enviro-Erin]

Thank you for this video. I am 38 and never wanted kids but my husband of 19 years put a lot of pressure on me to have kids for several years now. I have been struggling through massive guilt and uncertainty the last few years but finally just stuck to my guns and told him it wasn't going to happen. He is miserable, but I feel so, so much relief. I will add that he knew back when we were dating I felt this way but thought I would "change my mind". I appreciate hearing from other child free people that help validate my feelings. So thanks again. And I appreciate you, Eva. I very much enjoy your channel and would love to have similar experiences some day. Much love from Finger Lakes, NY ♡

[@Enviro-Erin]

Also, for those afraid of "who is going to take care of me?". Well, I have 2 parents that I will NOT be taking care of in their final years. They are awful people and shouldn't have had kids. So yeah, the have kids or die alone argument is moot

[@s8ix]

prepare for a divorce because it's coming. he will marry a young woman who he can have children with 🤷

[@kodymeyers9126]

You left him ?

[@Enviro-Erin]

@@kodymeyers9126 no, we are still together. Hoping we can work this out, but we shall see

[@oreoakalaperoji8314]

@@Enviro-Erin lol He wants something you don't want. There's literally nothing to work out. There's no compromise to be made. He should leave. If he's a simp enough to stay with you, he'll hate you sooner or later.

[@clavesseptem7223]

Being forced to be essentially a third parent to your own half-sibling (at EIGHT years old, no less) made me sure I never want to breed or be a parent. I had my childhood taken away from me. I won't have my adulthood stripped from me either.

[@goglobalwithsibu]

Thank you for sharing, Eva! As a young single childfree female that recently got sterilized, I can wholeheartedly agree with everything that's been said. Except for one thing: we do not need to give excuses and go out of our way to "leave" a legacy. Most people go through life leading average lives and that's completely fine! It makes it seem like we need to go far and beyond everyone else who has children to make sure that our voices as childfree individuals are also heard. That's all I wanted to add. Thank you!

[@almashinmon5604]

Thanks for this. I was about to say the same thing about the legacy part.

[@aleksandartonev3393]

Exactly. This is what I share in my comment - Some people have come to the conclusion that there is a price to pay for your choices and you have to pay it in order to be happy...But the price to pay is to be at ease, not to struggle. "You come into this physical world to leave a legacy or work hard, or that you should find your purpose in life" -> I think these all are prejudiced based on individual experience. I think that we came to this physical world just to feel the experience of life. So go out and make choices good or bad. I wouldn't give up one miserable moment, because every one of them helps me to become who I ultimately am!

[@yvyb.367]

I agree! A great legacy is not leaving a legacy. Loving your community and being mindful of the environment can have incredibly positive ripple effects through history.

[@KristinaRaqs]

Yes, living a simply life is a great legacy! 🙏🏼🙏🏼

[@victoriasegall3404]

@@KristinaRaqs thank you! 👏⭐🌻

[@scarletonyx1]

I think more Women need to hear this. Women are often pressed to get pregnant and have kids even if we don't want to.

[@thematsc]

How did you com to that conclusion? Its certainly not like that in the west (as far as I understand it)

[@Joraelfa]

EVERYBODY in my surrounding (friends, siblings, neighbours even strangers in the supermarket) were HORRIFIED when I chose to marry and become pregnant at 27. We have a stable financial situation and the ideal idyllic setup for a family. The only person who supported me was my mother.

[@gerardbutnotway1258]

Parents who judge you for not having kids are NOT TELLING YOU THE WHOLE TRUTH

[@christinasilver7014]

I’ve known I haven’t wanted kids my whole life, lots of the same comments raised in the video have been said to me, but what I have found so incredibly damaging, is when medical professionals (usually older men) tell me that they are limiting my contraceptive choices on the basis that my mind will change or that the ‘biological clock’ will start ticking. It has led to so much pain and difficulty by not allowing me the right to determine my own body. And I’m in the UK, where we don’t typically have draconian rules policing the female body (my heart goes out to you USA).

[@automnejoy5308]

It's only the red states. But it sucks for the women in those states, for sure.

[@arcovidia]

I never wanted kids, never felt any maternal instinct real or imagined, I never even wanted a marriage. But I was 19 and in love for the first time when I realised why exactly people want kids. Seeing everything you love in your partner in a little human who loves you unconditionally and is literally unable to live without you is a remedy for all the insecurities, all the fears and doubts you've ever had. Safe future, family, fulfilment - these are all just codenames for the fear of loneliness we all carry within us. An irrational fear - because the only time loneliness is a danger is infant years. I consider myself a very independent person. And yet, when I found someone who fell endlessly in love with me I felt a level of comfort I haven't known before. Suddenly, I could see how this comfort makes people stand in place instead of experiencing their lives to the fullest. The children that come as a way to fix broken relationships or products of social pressure and recklessness are brought up with all that trauma hanging above their heads like dark clouds. They grow up with deep issues they will be fighting for years, all because of the egoism of their parents. Some parents find fulfilment in raising kids. But when there comes a time to let go they don't know how to or if they do, suddenly, they realise how lost they've been this whole time. Eva, you said something very important to me - we are born to be a full person and we don't need anyone else to make us feel that way. Yes, we are social creatures and yes, we all want love but we won't find it until we become the best versions of ourselves. We won't build a healthy relationship or a healthy family until we work through our own trauma and flaws - the legacy of our parents. And on the other hand, if you do, you will find balance and contentment in life, even without a partner or a family. I hope we can all become best versions of ourselves and live simply for our passions :))

[@joob40]

This isn't correct, and it seems to come from a person who isn't experienced enough in life to have witnessed what happens when an adult becomes critically ill or even disabled. From someone who has experienced it myself and witnessed it countless times, since becoming involved in disability circles, and being even more appalled since entering the brain injury world... All I can say is don't feel so secure in your naivety. The only thing keeping patients alive once they become incapacitated is a family member who's willing to fight for proper care. So yes, all humans need other humans, no matter what age, and life expectancy goes way down when people have no support systems. Perhaps you haven't seen the evidence of this piling up in our tent cities as well. I was lucky enough to have peers as a support system, keeping me from being homeless when I became disabled. That kind of support dwindles the older you get.

[@joob40]

And I'm absolutely not trying to convince anyone to have kids. I've thought it's selfish to have more than your fair share of 2, since I was a teen of the 80s. But this idea that we're fine without other people is just destructive and incorrect. I've witnessed how the breakdown of community affects society and individuals... just in my lifetime the changes have been extreme and devastating.

[@Childfree334]

@@joob40 You are RIDICULOUS. No one is saying people don't need the help and support of others. But we are saying we do not need to breed to have that kind of support. I have siblings, nieces, nephews, friends, and trusted co-workers in my network. I do not need children to secure my future. In fact, I have been able to secure my future by building wealth that would have been otherwise impossible had I succumbed to the programming and brainwashing to have kids. Consequently I will be leaving a large portion of my estate to charities that help foster kids and orphans. So tell me again who is doing the biggest favor for society. 🤔

[@joob40]

@@Childfree334 Like I said, I can see who's lacking life experience here. And who's triggered (pro tip... people who are confident in their stance don't get that emotional.) You think money will keep a nursing home from letting you rot away from bed sores or killing you ... or an ICU from sending you to have your organs harvested 2 days after an accident? Hilarious. Oh and money won't even keep you from living on the street. I had 5 years of rent in the bank when my brain was injured, and I still slept in my car because I thought I couldn't afford a hotel. Not to mention that brain damaged and mentally ill people can't keep up with paperwork and can lose houses that are paid off, merely by failing to pay taxes or meet other regulations. Again, really clueless about what actually goes down when humans become incapacitated, even partially. But of course that won't happen to you, because you had money.

[@Myria83]

@Arcovidia Such a beautiful comment... I totally agree!

[@tonika7543]

I’m 41 never wanted to be a mom, and couldn’t see myself being one. I don’t have the patients and calmness when it comes to raising kids dealing with kicking, screaming, and tantrums.

[@deborahwhitney9427]

Your forgetting the good times and unconditional love you get from your children. It's not all about temper tantrums. I have two grown up sons and a grown up daughter, and they are the best th8ng that ever happened to me. I also have a beautiful grandson. As far as 8m concerned I've been blessed to have my children and grandson and I wouldn't change that for all the money in this world.

[@KateeAngel]

​@@deborahwhitney9427 not everyone wants "unconditional love".

[@incorectulpolitic]

@@deborahwhitney9427 no such thing as unconditional love. EVERYTHING is conditional.

[@Rheath127]

Deborah’s point is that there are many wonderful blessings that come from mothering. People who choose not to have children often seem to feel the need to make children sound like a bad thing. I think it’s okay to say “kids are wonderful, just not for me”.

[@incorectulpolitic]

@@Rheath127 there are many wonderful blessings that come from mothering FOR the mother NOT for the CHILD. For the child, 'mothering' is the beginning of HELL.

[@joayres5264]

I'm 49 and happily child free. Never felt the "urge" to have kids so I didn't, quite simple really. Still amazes me that people think it's their business! I'm a dog mom, have my own home, a good job and travel when I want. Life is good 👍

[@eTreyu27]

As a father of 2, I actively push other people I know to consider being Child Free. Kids are a amazing, have changed who I am. But are also very challenging. Expensive. Demanding. And are pretty much the biggest anchor you can ever imagine. Physically, but also emotionally and mentally. You become 100% vulnerable to the life choices of another human, and the odds that that human will go down a destructive path, gets sick, get in an accident, or just be a unlikable asshole despite your best efforts are all very plausible realities, and can be devistating. Childfree should be the default! Please don't push people into being parents just because... It is gross.

[@Anula1258]

I support you and what you said all day.

[@peterstewart3563]

Wonderful to hear your point of view. I am also a father of three kids (well young adults now). I especially find the idea that some people think you should have kids to ensure that you are looked after in your old age horrifying. As if your offspring could be considered as possessions that have some responsibility towards you just because YOU chose to bring them into the world. Get over it, they have their own lives to live. If they choose to have anything to do with you, consider it a blessing, not a right. People should stop trying to live their lives through there kids. Get over it and get out there and live your own life.

[@mugumyapaultheafricannomad9488]

Thanks for speaking the facts many shy away from

[@victoriasegall3404]

@@peterstewart3563 bravo! Well said! 👏🦋

[@Clleonie]

Thank you ❤

[@Ali-gb7mf]

Of course parents want their friends to have kids. Misery loves company!

[@veronicanavarra]

💞 Love your comment @Ali-gb7mf

[@robertcastel1565]

That its the only way than they have for not feeling like a shit and completly failure and trying impose his mediocre ego in the life of the others for feeling than they are right despict they are not right.

[@barbgtravels]

I am childfree and I don't regret it. No guarantees that your children will be there for you when you are old. What if they pass away before you? Anyway, there are too many people on this earth.

[@paigebentley2703]

Such a relief to feel validated in my choices. Thank you for voicing this and openly acknowledging something that feels taboo to talk about! I HATE the selfish argument... Like, it's more selfish to bring children into the world if you're not 100% sure you even want to have them. Love this new channel, can't wait to see more videos!

[@Doingmybest700]

And don’t people see how people can be extremely cruel to one another? I wouldn’t want a child to have to go through things like depression, suicidal ideation, being bullied, etc.

[@lydokope5210]

They cannot force people to have a child they have no right

[@paulorodrigofigueiredo7783]

"Who'll take care of you" it's like the most absurd... They have children only to "serv" them in future?

[@robertcastel1565]

Yeah that is the most selfish reason for having kids ever

[@carlosg1232]

I am 58 years old, I have 3 children. I want to be a grandparent. I have a 32 year old and a 29 year old, but neither want children. I respect their decision. I will always love them and respect their decisions. Keep up the great work. 👍 we love you.

[@georgina1317]

Love this. I find people tend to have this idea that children “never happened for me”. It’s hard for people to believe it’s by choice. I love my life and don’t want to plan it around someone else.

[@automnejoy5308]

For me it's hard to believe that people actually want kids. I don't understand the appeal of it at all. It's endless work. Ruined health. Re-living childhood but with world weariness. I also don't care about making a "little me." In fact the concept is disturbing. It's not that I don't like myself (mostly haha). It's just that I don't need to replicate my DNA in another human. Why?? It's so bizarre.

[@devilsoffspring5519]

@@automnejoy5308 I agree, but remember that reproducing is a biological function. There's no inherent meaning or fulfillment in taking a piss either, but people do it because of how biological life works. Same thing with having kids.

[@Livewell-xgi]

Awesome video! I was always told I’d “change my mind”. Now I’m past my childbearing age and that “instinct” never kicked in. I’m happily married in a childfree life with my partner and our cat.

[@luzrucci5534]

Right on girl. I'm 68 and no children. My 4 sister's had plenty ! And I love them all. Great subject and kudos to you for bringing it on!!

[@taraheck9004]

I'm 32 and have been childfree since before I was a teen. My whole life I've heard, "You'll change your mind." I just recently got permanently sterilized, and now suddenly everyone is saying, "Well, you can always adopt." It's maddening. These people are so unimaginative that they literally cannot wrap their heads around the simple concept that not everyone wants to have kids, no matter how those kids come to be. It's like when I say "I don't want kids," people hear "I don't want them right now," and I've even had a few people hear "I wish I could have them, but I'm unable to." I'm honestly just so at the end of my rope with anyone who doesn't hear my words, see my actions and take me seriously.

[@jmeistur2879]

Yeah, I don't get some people, why say all these things like "you'll chnage your mind" or "you can adopt" if someone does not want a child that is their choice, respect it. its not our bodies or our choice.

[@tanitaf1345]

Same, it's not normal and then I see they're living hell on earth with those kids.

[@SandiBrava]

So good to hear other women say the same things I’ve been thinking for years. I don’t want to have kids and yet whenever I’ve mentioned it to people, they respond with “you’ll change your mind”, “life without kids is boring”, “you’ll be alone when you’re old with no one”. I bite my lip and don’t typically respond to these comments because I feel like a lot of people follow a linear path in life where you follow tradition and do the same thing that people have been doing around you. But looking at some of our friends that are parents, that have defined their life in this “parent role”, I wonder, do people have kids for themselves or because they truly want children? Im happy knowing that I don’t want kids and your channel and all the women in this movement are making me feel less alone in this thought. Thank you, Eva.

[@khenglim]

To have or not to have, you need to be mentally, emotionally and financially prepared...as raising a kid is a life long commitment. I applaud you Eva for your child free choice because the restless spirit in you does not make motherhood an option. What a wonderful way to grow old living in a community amongst friends! Bravo!

[@humanfirst1578]

Why are people these days are running away from commitments? Nowadays everything is centred around yourself, nobody else comes into the equation. 'If I decide to have a child then that means I'll have to let go of many of my freedoms that I enjoy because I have to constantly look after them.' From an evolutionary perspective, the sole reason for a existence of a species on earth is to procreate it and if you decide to go childless that means you're denying that part of your biology. Over ambition and endless greed for self gratification has led to this epidemic of people going counter-biology.

[@Alice_Walker]

This video & comments section is an absolute TONIC. I'm almost 44 and have always known since I was a little kid that having children wasn't right for me but until recently didn't know anyone else who felt the same ✨

[@RadioForYahweh]

My son is 16 and said no marriage and no kids. I was proud to hear that. I struggled so much I was a teen mom of two and would never wish my issues on my kids. My son said he doesn’t want the issues that comes with marriage he understands vowes and does not take them as mere words, so he said he doesn’t wanna deal with the downs, bad, worse or ugly 😂 So he’s opting out of all of it and this mama is here for it. The world is getting ugly, rent and utilities and everything is getting ugly day by day. And I don’t see it getting any better in the next 10 years. So why even bother with those struggles? School, his hobbies, make money and grow with God and build His relationship with Jesus is all he needs to focus on. I will never kick my son out or push him out the nest. For what? To have to help with bills and downfalls when the economy goes to crap again and again or he loses his job? All that money he would be spending on rent he can invest and build his business and brand. I’m with the child free movement. Yes a mom of two is with the child free movement. But I go even harder. I’m with the sex free movement too. Learning live life without the need to lay down with another person is even more freedom. No heart break, no love pain, and no accident babies that can lead to loss of innocent life. That’s me and my belief and it’s something my son stands firm on also. And no I don’t think he will change his mind. But if he does I’ll be there to support him regardless.

[@melfreemans]

I've heard them all... selfish, unnatural, no legacy, burden to society...and my favorite malfunctioning. But as soon as i tell them that i chose to serve my country in the military rather than be a mom they shut their pie holes lol! Because they're not foolish enough to continue to say that to the face of a veteran. And as far as a legacy? Their freedom...that is my legacy.

[@Me97202]

NOT having children was the best decision I ever made. Period.

[@Xetenor]

I am 41 and my wife is 36; we are much happier without any kids. All we see around us are those that chose to have kids, are ABSOLUTELY MISERABLE. We're done arguing with our parents over this and they are slowly beginning to understand us more because they see my wife's sister go through absolute hell raising 2 kids now being so dependent on family support while being totally miserable. Everyone should be left alone to do what makes them happy. We never tell anyone to have kids or be childless. It's up to the individual and/or couple.

[@GenealogyTravels]

I'm 56 and child free. I remember telling my friends I didnt want kids or to get married when I was 6. It was not easy. The years I felt the most pressure was my early 20's, mid 30's and my 40's. The 40's were the sympathy reactions of, "oh Im sorry" or "how sad". Now that I look back. I am sooo thankful I stayed true to myself. It is important to note that my reasons for not wanting kids were many. It wasnt just the lack of desire. As to those who believe these decsions are selfish, I say quite the contrary. It is one of the most selfless things a person can do.

[@saljenks64]

There’s a lot to say about this topic. I have 2 daughters and consider it the best part of my life. I have never questioned peoples personal desire to have or not have kids. Unfortunately most kids are not from choice. We’re just looking at this from a western perspective where we have that choice. In many countries there just isn’t that choice. Both my daughters are grown up, one is a mother and has always wanted to be, the other (a lot younger) says she has no desire to have kids. Both have that choice and I consider that to be lucky. BTW being a new grandmother is just the most wonderful thing I’ve ever experienced and I didn’t expect it to be like this. Whatever makes us happy as individuals is my philosophy but we must remember these women that don’t have this choice.

[@grantcivyt]

In what way is it selfless? I'd like to understand.

[@housefox92]

@@grantcivyt Overpopulation destroys the planet, so having kids is more of a selfish choice

[@grantcivyt]

@@housefox92 I see. It would depend on the motivation for the decision. My view is that children in developed countries are the least harmful to the environment and the most likely to fix whatever problems arise.

[@housefox92]

@@grantcivyt True

[@207LW]

So, I chose to remain childless. Now that I am 46 and starting menopause I do feel the pain of never having a child. All my peers are becoming grandparents and that is an inner ache of sorts for me. I do wonder what my old age is going to look like. As far as family goes, I just have my elderly mom and I am terrified of being completely alone soon. It’s a really complex issue. People should have the freedom to make their own choices. I would have been a horrible parent in my 20s and 30s…so…everything happens for a reason

[@GenealogyTravels]

I know ur pain. That is why I listed the 40's as one of the hardest times in my original post. I have no doubt you weighed the decision many times when you were child bearing age. Now you have to trust yourself. As to being alone, I believe being a member of a community is more important than being a member of a nuclear family. Some say by definition, you cant be in one without being in the other. I say Bull S#!+. It is amazing how connected, how fullfilled we become when we devote our efforts away from our own egos and petty insecurities whether it is toward your children if you have them or towards creating art, improving the standard of living for many or preserving the environment. Good people will come into your life and will watch out for you and you, inturn, will watch out for them :))

[@grandcanyonchannel9590]

Lisa, don't sell yourself short. You probably would have made a wonderful parent.

[@polha4966]

you can get pregnant from a sperm bank

[@polha4966]

@@GenealogyTravels have you seen a lot of good people around?

[@GenealogyTravels]

@@polha4966 Yeah, I have. Wonderful people.

[@CaptainPikeachu]

I personally want to have at least one kid, but I’m not in a rush and want to wait for the right person to have my family with. There is even so much pressure with this too, people rushing you into parenthood.

[@missymoonwillow6545]

So excited for this! I too, am not going to be a mom! This is exactly the kind of discussion I need to have with other women who also don't want to be mom's! There's nothing wrong with us! Women are more than just a womb to deliver babies into this world. We can be adventurers, and explorers, and we can take on the role of a mom with all the beautiful children we encounter along our journey. It's a big responsibility to raise children, and with the pressures from society to get married, have children, it's nice to encounter women who don't choose that life path for themselves. There's nothing wrong with a woman, not wanting babies! You see it in nature all the time. Cats rejecting their kittens, hens that abandon their chicks, it's natural for some woman to not want to rear children. More power to you Eva! Glad you addressed this topic.

[@childoftheuniverse1432]

I feel that each person should do what makes them happy. Personally, I choose not to be a biological mother and adopt kids because that's something that calls out to me. No judgement for people who wish to have or not have kids, only love❤️

[@love__and__hope__]

Then you don’t need a boyfriend as well. Purpose of girlfriend or wife is to produce kids for her man

[@childoftheuniverse1432]

@@love__and__hope__ A purpose of a woman is to do whatever the fuck she wants and to live her life the way she wants. Whether I choose to have a boyfriend or not is clearly none of your business.

[@love__and__hope__]

@@childoftheuniverse1432 You are very agressive. Cleary, can not fit in normal people norms. All people without kids is somewhat different.

[@childoftheuniverse1432]

@@love__and__hope__ I don't know why you deleted your previous comment or where it went. But if someone living their life the way they want to is what you call aggressive, then so be it. I call it freedom to live my life on my own terms. If you don't know it Sir, this KZbin channel Unplugged is for people who don't fit in, people who have different views from the vast majority of the society. I see you not fitting in here because you're not open minded or accepting of people who have different opinions or live life differently from you.

[@jamesmandahl444]

@Child of the Universe Your avatar name and replies are self absorbed and come off as made by someone with an inflated sense of self worth. Life isnt just about me or you it isnt just about being happy all the time and feeling pleasure. You all are essentially trying to freebase life and it cannot be sustained. We cannot live without living for others and for spreading life. It is against nature and against the divine. I can bet you are a redditor fedora and seethe when the divine is discussed, tho. This video and the comments are so depressing. Wish I hadn't stumbled on it.

[@kristinbrowne8756]

I am so glad I clicked. Thank you! I am 47 and have NEVER had even the slightest desire to have my own snot gobbler. I have also seen a friend go into this crazy baby fever and when the kid was born, it was a hard birth and the child is a little different from average. She is now disillusioned and never talks abt her son to anyone. It's the elephant in the room. I left Europe in 2014 and made the mistake of getting married. I still don't want offspring and will not relinquish any control over that to anyone ever. No discussion. If i have to, I will abstain. That's how important that is to me. The thought of becoming pregnant makes me physically ill/angry its alien to me. I have seen no positives that would make up for the awful way having offspring changes you as a person. My mother committed suicide because she enmeshed herself with me and I left Europe for the US. I only just found that out/understand that now. Apparently she really believed it was my duty to care for her for ever and ever. And you are right. I honesty am pissed! I never even thought of it that way! But it's true. That is waaay more selfish than the BS breeders always give you when you tell them you're not having kids.

[@Anonymous-uw4sr]

Honor your ancestors and future descendants

[@CafeElectric]

Childfree rocks for me. I attribute my early retirement to it. Freedom is great. Also GUYS: Get a Vasectomy. It's awesome! Thank you Eva for the interesting report, especially the history.

[@theoschoendube]

Got a vasectomy in August Checking for swimmers now

[@jake11101]

No i won’t

[@kristinab1078]

The idea of "freedom" now sounds so different from how "freedom" might have been defined 50-70 years ago. I wonder what our grandfathers would have thought.

[@kylerowan7214]

@@kristinab1078 It doesn't matter what they would have thought - we live in different times. They would not do well in our times, and we would not do well in theirs.

[@amandanewton8144]

I love that the community of childfree individuals is starting to be be heard and be seen. In my mid thirties now and happily married and childfree. It would have been so helpful to have been surrounded and supported in making my childfree choice when I was younger, so it brings me hope that the louder we get about our decisions the more helpful this will be for the younger generation of people considering their choices. ❤

[@kristinab1078]

Not to worry; you won't be alone. In the not too distant future, many in the western world will be childfree by choice or involuntarily by the increasing rates of infertility.

[@robertcastel1565]

It's hopefully knows that there's smart womans in this world

[@brianunderwood2010]

Same here I'm 32 and dislike/don't want kids but, my younger brother and, I is the last men in our family to care on our last name and, it upsets me and, my family, my mom and, dad has been running me crazy wanting a grandchild for years plus my grandpa needs our last name to be cared on he says I mean understand and, yes It hurts me inside and, on the other hand... My brother and, I own a heating-air company in north Alabama so we are so busy with life we love our company I worked my ass off for 14 years to get my license and I'm killing it atm! On the other hand we love the freedom of not answering to no one plus I hate the feeling of needing/loving/missing someone but I do miss cuddling and movie nights/dates but goodness I love being a freeman. My brother and I live together in our dream house/farm house and land with cows and our own little farm we honestly are living our dream! I'm so thankful proud of everything my brother and I have done so honestly a woman is the last thing on our mind! Sorry for such a long life story but a back story/story telling is why I love everything you do your life is amazing and tells a story ever video I watch that's why I love your videos your one of my favorite youtubers your life is so amazing I look up to you so much I envy you a lot! Just be safe please you scary me from some of the place you stay alone at but.... Ok I'll hush Thank you for being you!

[@ellenwinslet]

Thank you soooo much for this. My colleagues with kids and older relatives keep telling me I’ll change my mind and have been for years - in reality, my resolve to remain child free has only solidified even more. I simply don’t feel maternal or anything at all really for children, and hearing my colleagues with kids speak about their lives and complain, which in most cases is related to their lives as parents, sounds utterly miserable to me. It doesn’t align at ALL in any point with what I want in life.

[@a.d.3635]

I always knew, that I never want to have children. I used to state that opinion as a child, as a teenager and as an adult. The reactions were different, depending on my age, but they always discredited my feelings/opinions in some way. Sometimes I was too young, sometimes I just haven't found the "right one" and so on. Even now (Im almost 30) people use to lecture me on how wonderful and fulfilling children are and what i will miss in my life without them...little do they know that I had a sterilization back in 2021 to be absolutely safe that my body doesnt create a baby (which would be an absolute nightmare for me). And I am happier than ever, because I finally feel in sync with my body. However, I do feel that all this glorification of parenthood, be it in society or online, is fueling this state of mind that a life without children is somehow less. So, I am always happy when people with a big reach are talking about that. Maybe it will help to understand, that not everyone wants children and people like me don't see that as a loss, on the contrary.

[@gingerj4440]

Same! I am so glad I got sterilized at the beginning of last year because I am in the US and they are trying to keep women in line with the patriarchy here. I get huge peace of mind knowing its not physically possible for me to get pregnant anymore.

[@a.d.3635]

@janelanne3760 I had a salpingectomy. For me that was the right thing. It was a rather short surgery, and I didn’t have any issues with the healing process. I do not know if you can have a sterilization without a surgery, sorry!

[@phrophannus]

I don't understand the selfish argument, what can be more selfish than having a kid just to keep you company and having someone to care for you when older. This doesn't make any sense.

[@Tjames579]

I know exactly how you feel,growing up in Sydney and with all my friends around me getting married and having kids I always got asked when will I get married and have kids,I felt like all my friends got married and had kids because everyone else was getting married and having kids.I have never been one to do something because everyone else is doing it,now 43 and still not married and no kids and still no intentions of having kids and totally still fine with it..

[@Pankaj-4572PR]

Same here from Sydney but actually married childfree but…☺️

[@aleksandartonev3393]

My parents always say to me - "study hard, find a good job and work hard, marry and have a lot of children". But this was society's prejudice and this did not make me happy. So I choose to take my own path as I am a rebel. Some people have come to the conclusion that there is a price to pay for your choices and you have to pay it in order to be happy...But the price to pay is to be at ease, not to struggle.

[@adrianhills1318]

As a 60 year old man who has never wanted children. In my twenties everyone would ask when will you get married and have kids, and really I always thought that would happen even though it was something I never wanted. In my 20's a few relationships failed because i didn't want kids. In my 30's I would tell people I never wanted kids and they just said "oh that will change", it never did. I met my long term partner in my mid 30's and she never wanted kids so this one has lasted. When we got together everyone kept saying we should start a family before it was too late. roll on through to your fifties and people just stop asking anymore. Now almost hitting our 60's and happily retired people now just ask if we have kids and seem shocked we don't.

[@adrianhills1318]

@@user-di5pd4he8l Life is what you make it, do whatever you want. Try to make things happen as best you can but don't worry if things don't happen as you expect them to. Life never goes along with that plan you have as a teenager. You are 20, if you want kids you will have them. No one at 20 years has the slightest clue what their life will be like in 10 years time. No need to worry about that life having no purpose, if you don't have kids there are plenty of other ways to give your life purpose.

[@zhangqiling8086]

Well, I'm 24 years old and I always knew that I didn't want to have kids, I don't even think I will bother getting married, but maybe I will do that if someday I meet someone who makes me that happy to the point where I can handle being with them for a long time, but I still don't don't really view marriage as something that important. Still when it comes to kids I know 100% that I don't want any, not now, not even after finding a good person to be with. I never liked kids, nothing about them makes me go "Ahh, that's so cute!" blah blah, obviously I don't enjoy seeing them get hurt or be miserable, I'm not a psychopath. But I don't view them as something that I need nor I feel good while interacting with them, I can't handle chaos, noise, and all the things that come with children normally. I'm not the type of person who will get excited over seeing a co-worker bringing their baby to work and showing off in front of others, I don't care, good for them, but it's not my issue. I even can't bring myself to like my older brother's kids, I'm just not that type of "normal" woman everyone wants me to be, and I don't see what's wrong with it, I don't go around doing crimes, or harming others...etc so why others treat me like a freak?! I even had a discussion with my mother when she started comparing me to another girl who got married while still 22 (Aka still a college student), and said she feels jealous and upset that am not married yet, and that fucking angered me, I told her that she shouldn't expect me to produce grandkids nor get married ever, and that she shouldn't get mad over it since she already have two, a granddaughter and grandson, so she got it all. Yet she got so mad as if I told her I murdered someone, and started insulting me so intensely telling me that I exist to give birth, it's the law of life for women to get married and give birth, and of course started threatening me that I will be a lone and miserable, will die and rot alone, will regret not being like other women...etc while glaring at me. I must be married and give birth before turning 30 cause after that it might be too late. That made me so angry that my own mother treated me in such a way, like seriously?! I only exist to be a birth giving machine? A servant to some man? That is the law of life?! She didn't even bother asking me why I made such a decision. What makes me not want to have kids nor get married? No, she just tried to force her own mindset on me and it made me even more stubborn and frustrated. Like imagine being told that you're worthless without kids and a man. What make others think they have the right to tell me how I should live my life and hot to use my body? I rather regret not having kids than regret having them and be stressed and miserable till the day I die with responsibilities I don't want nor I can handle well.

[@GaryScott-pdx]

I’ve was ambivalent about having kids when I was married. My wife wanted to have children so I agreed. She got pregnant and miscarried twins just before they would have been viable human beings. I thought that this would cause her to rethink childbirth and it did for several years. When she decided to try again I fought half heartedly but finally gave in figuring that if she wanted to try again I wasn’t the person to say no. Now at 73 i can look back at all the happiness that our daughter has brought my wife and i wouldn’t trade it for anything.I’m proud of our daughter and the relationship that she has with us. Many of our friends raised children that were less than stellar but we lucked out. In hindsight i made the correct decision. BTW, our daughter. Is 40 and belongs to the i don’t plan on having children society. Good luck on your journey.

[@jlipin3]

1000%. Agree. I held out for a while. But raising a kid is the most profound experience there is. BY FAR.

[@StancyNova]

Thanks for sharing! This story proves that there is no right or wrong decision in life 🙂 everything that happens - happens for a reason

[@yo_darlin151]

That's so great because you don't need to take care of grandkids. 🙂

[@innerguardianXIII]

My main reason to be childfree is because I KNOW for a fact that the child will experience something negative, something awful and it WILL be your fault in a sense. You could/can do EVERYTHING right but there's always a chance your kid could be born bad (Nature beating Nurture) or you can make one mistake too many and make them upset (Nurture beating Nature), it will happen because that's life....and you gave them that. They will experience your death and either it'll be a thankless shrug (or worse satisfaction) or one of the deepest losses and pains that you wouldn't wish on your enemies. If you don't want someone to experience the horrible things of life, don't bring them into it. Think of their life + yours before they have a chance to have it.

[@urSinKhal]

Congratulations.You've invented antinatalism due to moral reasons. You seem like a really good person.

[@robertcastel1565]

The adoption is an option too, i mean if you really wanna be a father, whould be better give a home to a one kid that really need a family, instead of doom someone else to the sufferings of life without any reason beyond egoism.

[@jnknknk]

Why do we need a legacy? Why do we need to be remembered? Cant we just be?

[@robertcastel1565]

Legacy of what? if the most of the people don't give a shit for nobody in all his entire life.

[@salcal222]

I'm much older than you, and I have always felt how you feel. I still feel that way, and I have absolutely no regrets!

[@woodanemone9758]

The norm to have children is originally linked to the family based society, typically farming based economies, having many to secure that some would survive to adulthood. In today's society, family is so more often about preference and own wishes. So the norm to have kids from the start was "selfish" if you will, to sustain the business.

[@incorectulpolitic]

How loving, moral and ethical is to force another human being into a death trap existence based on a lifelong of slavery, exploitation, suffering and diseases.

[@woodanemone9758]

@@incorectulpolitic I am myself child free. I think the norm to have children stems from a concept in society that at least in West does not exist anymore. I believe in good reasons to want to parent, and in good reasons not to parent. I have more good reasons not to.

[@incorectulpolitic]

@@woodanemone9758 NPCs LOVE to make funeral companies filthy rich. Without NPCs (providing new victims) all the evil corporations, companies etc. would go bankrupt... NPCs can't let that happen.

[@izzysavege5227]

Great video, I'm so glad you've started this series Eva! I grew up assuming I would have kids one day. However, since I began using art to explore and express myself, I have created space to listen to my inner world, and to shed societal beliefs that don't resonate with me. Now, aged 32, I realise that kids aren't actually something I want. And I'm content with that. Thank you for being a powerful, influential voice for our generation, you continue to inspire and motivate me to be more authentically me! Looking forward to seeing more of this series!

[@melissag.1709]

Thanks for talking about this. I had convinced myself that it was me who wanted a kid after years of pressure from basically everyone in my life. I knew my husband wanted one, but he was the sole person who didn't put pressure on me. So I had one, and it was as miserable as I was scared it would be. Then there was an unexpected pregnancy and I ended up with two and severe depression quickly followed that lasted for two years before I started fighting to get out of it. While I do love them tremendously and wouldn't say I "regret" them, it's incredibly important that this message gets out because it's not for everyone; parenting is extremely hard as it is and if you put yourself into a situation you're not 100% on board with it can lead to so many negative things. Thankfully I've recently made peace with my life as it is and have begun truly enjoying them and their company (them being more independent and less reliant on me has gone a LONG way haha). But I do wish there had been a community I could've gone to for support when I was younger to feel safe and really explore my true feelings on the issue. Can't wait to hear your future topics!

[@kyungshim6483]

"But what about the ultimate goal of pro-creating and insuring that the human race continues to exist on this planet?" Answer: Well, I never signed a contractual agreement that I would be that altruistic before I was born.

[@HeatlerTFP]

We did not consent to be born it's like kidnapping one of your own flesh

[@angkhoa1216]

Whenever they keep saying this, ill just slap them with “Dude, theres 8 billions people on this planet.”

[@robertcastel1565]

And nobody ask you for being born in first place, someone else obligates you to born without you consents, it's not weird than the most of babies cry after get out of his mom belly.

[@SpiritualBadass888]

Damn - I thought I was the only one that thought like this! I spent many years thinking having kids was the ‘right’ thing to say and aim for as culturally, saying the opposite was met with disapproval, after rebuilding my life - there’s just SO MANY other things out there to explore and discover, it’s pretty liberating to be able to admit this, thank you Eva