The HONEST Reason Why I Don't Want Children

[@MM-pe9ik]

My sister said it the best when I asked if she wants to have kids. "I don't want to have kids because I dont want to". That's literally it. I had kids because I wanted to have kids. We dont need to justify or explain ourselves.

[@bea_moon]

Exactly. That's what I always say when I'm asked why I don't have children.

[@raenahunter6545]

I know so many older adults who do not have kids because they didn’t want to and they are all still happy with that decision just as we can also be happy with the decision to have children. It’s great when everyone can just be happy for each other and the decisions we make for our own happiness.

[@raenahunter6545]

Can you imagine if people started asking everyone with kids why they had children but in a condescending tone?Wouldn’t that be ridiculous😂

[@annjames1837]

I'm in my mid 50's and have two friends, same age, that chose never to have children. They've confided in me over the last several years that they regret not having children. I was sad for them because I knew they would never experience being a mother and grandmother.

[@MrVikingsandra]

I agree 100% 👏

[@Deb_BG]

Nobody should feel bad for not wanting children. No explanation is ever necessary. It's YOUR life.

[@shadycnetwork]

No person

[@Junkopartna]

'No one'. dont think its any different if you were born m

[@ChildfreeAnimal]

Truth. But I also think it's good to keep the conversation going to normalize choosing what works best for you.

[@ctgctg1]

💯 percent.

[@Deb_BG]

@@Junkopartna You're absolutely right. I will edit.

[@judyk.657]

I’m 66 I’ve always known I didn’t want children. I never had that urge to procreate. Despite everyone telling me I’d change my mind. Never felt the ticking clock. Never regretted my choice. Just not for me. Good for you Eva. Follow your heart

[@rrichardson53]

Same!

[@siskabacak8508]

I am 49. Same !

[@anibrito4553]

I’m 57 exactly the same. No regrets.

[@neil_woth5199]

55 and the same

[@50-n-ON]

50 almost 51.. no regrets

[@photomaker4502]

I can barely take care of myself let alone take care of another human being. Not everyone is meant to have a child.

[@INTERNATIONALvids]

Why don't they teach this in school

[@antonboludo8886]

Good point. @@INTERNATIONALvids

[@antonboludo8886]

That's right.

[@jesseperez4185]

The Parents who shouldnt be having kids are having kids while the ones that should aren't

[@antonboludo8886]

Often true. @@jesseperez4185

[@dieterdesmet8615]

I think that if someone doesn’t want kids, they most likely know what’s best for them and they’re making the right decision.

[@xcf5587]

Don’t have any stats on this but I know anecdotally a lot of women who didn’t want kids in their 20s and 30s. Some seem to be happy with that decision but I would say the majority either panicked and had one in their early 40s or regretted not doing so. Again I’m sure for some it is the right choice but it’s a very hard one to make.

[@antonboludo8886]

It certainly is. All the women I know who made the decision not to have any have no regrets at all. @@xcf5587

[@INTERNATIONALvids]

This isn't true, or it is a half truth. Plenty of people have children on a whim. Many want sex but get children as a result. About half people born were not planned conception. Truth is, we are biologically hardwired to reproduce. So having children is much less of a choice and more of an impulse.

[@badgirlhollywood9741]

My dad told my mom “I don’t want children!” I heard him say it to her. My life has been hard partially because of the idiot she married. Women if a man says I don’t want kids believe him.

[@INTERNATIONALvids]

@@badgirlhollywood9741 it is common to regret becoming a parent. But we rarely hear about it because it is taboo to say so. Taboo for a few reasons. To avoid public ridicule and to avoid kids thinking they were not wanted. But often, parents regret the hardships of parenting and not the human life that already exists. There is a distinction. Parenting is extremely difficult for most people in modern age so I don't blame parents. Nobody really know how much and how deep amount of work and responsibility they are adding when they are creating kids. When you have kids, you no longer exist, your identity goes away and everything becomes about the kids. Many parents are in denial about this. Because it happens over time they don't notice. Having kids is more expensive than ever, one can buy a ferrari instead for the same money...Point being, most people don't buy new ferraris but they have kids they can't afford.

[@vivistic]

I dont understand why do some people think not wanting children is selfish. Who are we owing these children to? There is nothing selfish about it, we as women are not just baby making machines, we are people and we have other purposes in life that we should be allowed to pursue aswell.

[@golbarga]

You took every word out of my mouth and described the exact same reason why I chose not to have children. I am 47, happily married with 3 cats and not bringing kids into this world was the best decision of my life.

[@GK-op4oc]

Just not wife or relationship material. Now, you are expecting the children of others to fund your retirement healthcare and pension. The childless should be taxed much more

[@daisyh8481]

I wouldn’t even get married, the cats are ok though

[@hanalala3164]

​@@GK-op4ocwhats the point of being a wife these days? Men are so easy to get and we make our own money. 😂 fwb makes more sense

[@hanalala3164]

​@@GK-op4oca lot of men want childfree wmn and plenty men only have kids bcs their wife pressured them so youre wrong wrong

[@GK-op4oc]

@@hanalala3164 Males in general get married to secure a mother for children. There is no other more significant reason to get married

[@alitloff]

At age 12, I announced to my family that I would never marry or have kids. They stopped laughing at my statement when (my unmarried) tubes were tied at 32. 58 now. I’ve done my part. No regrets.

[@antonboludo8886]

Good! You had the courage of your own convictions. Why would anyone have the obligation to marry and have kids? Do it because you want to, not because you feel you have to.

[@chuckiepeoples]

Sounds lonely. Tell me, how are your 14 cats doing?

[@antonboludo8886]

I think you are wrong. This situation might seem lonely to you, but not to her. @@chuckiepeoples

[@azsean73]

@@chuckiepeopleshahahahahha tropes! AMIRIGHT?! Is it because you don't like other people's decisions or just women having a decision?

[@chuckiepeoples]

@@azsean73 You definitely have multiple cats. Enjoy.

[@marilynranson1710]

You are an amazing and wize young lady. I'm 72 and child free with no regrets. Enjoy the journey ahead of you -- it will be an adventure.

[@GabrielaLopez-cn8qm]

Hi Eva, I am a mother, and becoming a mother has been the most difficult thing I have ever done in my life. Once my first child was born, I realized that it is a choice each woman should make, a choice that should be respected and honored. Great video! Thanks for sharing.

[@INTERNATIONALvids]

We are biologically hard wired to reproduce like all other species. The choice was already made for us, so it isn't really free will

[@fishandfloral]

I’m 55, never wanted kids and do not regret it one bit. My husband and I agreed on that point before we ever got married. People didn’t stop asking “when are you having kids” until I got older and it was obvious.

[@TonyaS]

I’m 52 and never have regretted my decision to not have kids. I just always knew that was right for me but happy for people who choose that path! ❤

[@amrabu-ayshe8042]

You will regret it at some point, I’m sorry.

[@_dz]

@@amrabu-ayshe8042 OMG, really?? People are not all the same. Now think why is it so hard for you to believe her.

[@gabriel06123]

@@_dz sorry but you are not that special… you are the result of millions of years of evolution and although you have the ability to reason and make choices as an individual, you are part of a developed species with a specific set pf evolutionary abilities , one of which is having a brain that will make up whatever reality and temporary truth it needs to survive and be happy even if your life is miserable af. So sorry.. you are great, you are a unique soul but you are not that special.. at all.

[@_dz]

@@gabriel06123 Hmmm...Unfortunately you confusing biological (body) evolution with intellectual or social evolution. Following your argument, you probably believe that because female humans evolved as mammals they should still only live they lives as a womb with legs in 2023, right?

[@dal8963]

​@@gabriel06123ur comment might have some truth but it seems out of context as telling a person they are not special has nothing todo with having kids

[@fernandab-m5634]

Thank you for sharing. As a mom, I always since a child I wanted to be a mom, also travel and know the world, I did that on my 20s. I feel that woman who don’t want to be moms are fine, moms who want to be a mom, are fine too. Everyone should do their decision and nobody should judge for it.

[@Larry.Roberton]

I never had children, but I found that the most rewarding thing I ever do is helping poor children. They didn't ask to be here.

[@Shadow_Banned_Conservative]

I'm in a similar position, I don't have kids and I'm glad I don't because I'm divorced and not still attached to a very toxic ex-wife. But when I watch my long time friend's children reach milestones like High School and college graduation, marriage, etc. Then I am left wondering what I missed out on. I'm still close with my best friend's children like an uncle, but I'm not "dad" to any of them. I'm in my fifties now and all the men on my father's side of the family don't make it past their mid sixties. Today, if I pass my best friend's daughter will get my home, my best friend's son will get his home paid off. My best friend will get enough from my estate to buy a home for themselves and end their life as a renter. But I don't have any children of my own to leave an estate to. I do wish on some level that I had a legacy to leave to them, but I do wish on some level that I did. Part of me also is glad I don't have children because of the state of the world today. Lots of governmental debt, high taxes, and a very depressing future. I'm sometimes glad I spared them from having to live that. Did our parents feel the same?

[@chuckiepeoples]

Sounds lonely, Larry.

[@INTERNATIONALvids]

Nobody asked to be here

[@incorectulpolitic]

Stop projecting chuck. @@chuckiepeoples

[@swedishmansion8262]

I do the same

[@jimm6810]

No woman should ever have to explain why she doesn't have children, whether she wanted to or not.

[@priestfan81]

Women making decisions for themselves has destroyed western civilization.

[@marcusseleukos1274]

Women also should not chastise other people about their decisions to have children, nor should they promote antinatalism -- especially if they will be depending on the future labor of those children, having chosen to end the vast chain of being with themselves and not pay forward the gift of life and preserve the incredible species and culture to which they belong.

[@mojakaunt6637]

​@@marcusseleukos1274 'gift of life ... incredible species' - Shallow interpretation of things

[@marcusseleukos1274]

​@@mojakaunt6637 You're absolutely right -- my mistake for thinking the universe become aware of itself through sapience is any more significant that the simplest sentience of a paramecium. How shallow of me.

[@abigsnaiil]

I really appreciate this video. I’m 24 and I’ve met a lot of angry conversations about how “I don’t know that I want kids yet. Wait till your older”and it’s really frustrating because it shouldn’t be that you are treat with naivety. I’m very happy with my life. I’ve never asked someone why they had children but I can be asked why I haven’t. This norm needs to change.

[@SC68170]

Well, the reason they had children was because they WANTED to have children or they were wrecklessly irresponsible and got themselves or someone else pregnant. It's as simple as that.

[@pastelmoon9118]

men are just upset that good looking woman going to be "wasted " overheard this comment once... but pls know yourself and do what you want dont ever let someone to tell you how you should live.

[@neutrino78x]

Most human beings have an instinctual drive to have children. It's one of the basic features of all life on Earth. So that's why people ask you that. 🙂

[@pastelmoon9118]

it is fine to ask but not ok to start harassing and manipulating people in that life too@@neutrino78x

[@viktoriahoffmann_AT]

Thank you!! I am 40 and I always felt like a weirdo when I was not as enthusiastic about babies and little children than everybody else. I simply never felt like being a mother and it‘s so encouraging to hear that! ❤

[@lovethyneibor22736]

whats ur opinion on Stop Having Kids childfree organization??

[@josephinebustos8074]

There’s nothing wrong on not wanting to procreate. It’s actually great that you recognize that fact. Some people are clueless and keep getting birth to children, yet are lousy or lacking skills on how to raise these little humans, then these tiny humans grows up as a$$holes and lousy people.

[@jaym8257]

It's good that most people are not as you describe. And they have not been that way through millennia. I mean as a whole, humankind has done pretty well.

[@tunes4life]

@josephine Very true and i've seen enough of this while living in UK... While i'm aware UK isn't the only place in the world with this issue... but as i was there... i can vouch for your comment.

[@guywihn1658]

​@@jaym8257to my mind the human gene pool is totally screwed, and because there are so many of us now most days leave me feeling like I'm part of some sad amateur lab experiment

[@raenahunter6545]

⁠@@jaym8257where have you been…under a rock?! People are so selfish in todays world. They do not help their fellow man out. Social media has desensitized people. They would rather film someone than help them. We have done well because we are the top predator but we still act like animals and let rulers commit genocide. Civilizations rise and fall from this, so no we are not compassionate and empathetic enough. This comes from someone with kids. Look at the mental health crisis on our hands…no one has it together not even you if you dig deep enough, none of us are normal and that’s fine but don’t expect to have every one be on the same playing field as you.

[@NunyaBizzyness]

I just turned 50 this year. All your reasons are things that i've thought of or dealt with before. There are not many of us out there who choose not to have children, but we do exist :)

[@miafia7371]

Dear Eva, I´m 60 years old and have never wanted children. I like children a lot, I´m a mathteacher, but have my owns - no. Why? The "wanting" never appeard , my husband agreed with me and the last is the scare of not being a good parent. We have heard SO many times: "o, you are egocentric", "you are going to be lonely when get really old" and so on. Well maybe I´m egocentric, maybe i´m going to be alone....BUT...putting a child to this world today, no I don´t regret not having children. Sometimes I think that some people get a little jealous because we TOOK the decision to not have children..... Go with your heart and brain, Eva. Never let anyone talk less of you! Take care...and wew love to follow you! 🧡

[@daytonabchnative]

To be honest, having children is no guarantee that you won’t grow old alone. I had 2 and I will probably be alone growing old and dying. As much as I sacrificed and loved them, they don’t really care about me. They have their lives and I respect that. But having children because you don’t want to grow old and die alone, well there is no guarantee of that. If I had to do it all again, I’d do my life much differently.

[@miafia7371]

@@daytonabchnative 🧡

[@gdhaney136]

@@daytonabchnative true...it's a lottery. You never know what you'll get. Every parent I've ever known has said, "I love my children, but...."

[@JulieElvenMusic]

I'm your age and have always felt exactly like this! Whether someone wants children or not, I think it's beautiful and important to follow your own idea of happiness and live the life YOU want ❤️ Also, people need to stop pressuring especially young women with this topic.

[@aesales9248]

I knew since I was a child myself that I didn't want to have children. I saw the sacrifice that my mom has made throughout her life for her children, and I felt I didn't have it in me to give so much. I like being child-free. I do love kids as long as I'm not their mom. This choice did result in my getting divorced in my late 30s. However, I have no regrets. I'm 58 now and I'm happier for it. I believe in living your life as you see fit. It is our individual right to do so. Thank you for sharing your true reason. Take care.

[@Happysoul_3]

As a 22yr old I also feel the way you feel. I am scared that in future when I will marry will my partner support this decision or not😢. I just pray I get a partner who wants to stay childfree. And I believe in today's time it's better to ask such questions upfront from our partner. And sometimes mindset of people regarding having child or not change after marriage so it's scary.

[@ridinwithjake]

Well, get ready for being an old lady who lives alone with her cats and has no one to care for her. Good luck.

[@Dragumix]

@@ridinwithjake Well, it's not guaranteed that your children will take of you when you are old. Secondly, it's actually a selfish reason to have children so that they can take care of you when you are old.

[@Tripps2564]

@@Dragumix I guess its cultural. In Middle Eastern households, it makes perfect sense to help your folks out as you age. The modern era has challenged that in terms of leaving home and pursuing your passions far away. That said, I feel that it's not practical for people to be so selfless as to not expect support in old age from kids they supported their whole life.

[@Dragumix]

@@Tripps2564 I don't consider it to be a support to bring children into this world in the first place. Children will face suffering (like dying etc.) in this world and some children will experience extreme suffering (by means of chronic illnesses etc.) here. You as a potential parent don't know beforehand if your potential child will have a relatively good life or a bad life. Therefore I regard it as totally wrong to bring children into this world.

[@sdc4405]

I was born to selfish parents who when they divorced neither really wanted to be bothered with me. Thank God my grandparents took me in and raised me as their own. I always knew I wanted to be a father and after several miscarriages my wife and I were blessed with a wonderful daughter. Now she's moved out and off to college and I feel blessed to have been allowed to be a father to her. It has been an invaluable experience and there's nothing in my life that compares. All that written, to each his or her own. Life's full of choices and being a parent is not one to be taken lightly.

[@joanannewallace]

You would have to think all the time about another person. You are never free again once you bring a child into the world. They are wonderful but lots of worry.

[@thesoulish7484]

I am turning 50 and I have never had that need or calling to bring children into this world. My life was never conducive to taking on this responsibility and I am at peace with this decision. Also, I've allowed myself the space that if I changed my mind as I grow in wisdom, I can always open my heart and home to a child in need (either foster or adoption).

[@charlinesha]

Oh Eva, thank YOU. This resonates so so much with what I’m feeling. I’m 36, childfree and I still struggle to explain why. I feel that people expect us to have a « concrete » reason for choosing not to have children. But sometimes it’s just that « we don’t want to! ». I often hide behind the environmental reason, that is probably the one I relate to the most… but if I’m being honest, that’s not why. I just don’t want to take on this role. That’s all! Thanks for your content, I love it, you inspire me a lot. Hope to see you in France one day! 🇫🇷

[@Tripps2564]

I appreciate the honesty of that answer. I know being a Dad will require a lot of me... but I feel a calling for it (kind of like your answer, but in reverse). I guess the thought could go both ways. I argue "oh you'll be bored" or "no one will be there for you" but plenty of childless people have interesting lives and have people. I guess I just love the time with my big family and want that "village" to continue. It seems to me that a lot of folks just don't have the strong families others were raised with. But then again, I do worry about the future for the elderly... without enough kids, who will take care of them? Immigration isn't likely to be enough. I mean that care in both at-home care, but also in the service industry and in medicine where I work. The demand keeps climbing, but the young people are increasingly not there to take the reins. I'm just not sure what the solution is. To each their own

[@Rabies-gx5hy]

I’m much like you, Eva! Adding to the list- I haven’t found a partner yet (and I’ve had a few long term relationships) that I felt would step up to the plate in terms of equal parenting. I see many females at least in American society that end up absorbing 90% of the household managing and child rearing. In my last relationship, I took on all of the household management while we both worked full time. NO THANKS! I work in pediatrics and see ALL kinds of parents. The funny part is people like you and I, who REALLY put the thought in about parenting would end up probably making the most loving, responsible and respectful parents. I’ve seen my fair share of parents who obviously did not put in the thought and certainly did not do the research and let’s just say….. yeah. 🙄

[@sahar2629]

I never wanted to have children as far back as my teens, but I also understand not having found a partner that will be an equal responsible parent is a very valid reason. I don't know why people try to use this reason to belittle others

[@ChristinaCafiso]

Thank you for making this video! As a mother to 4 children, I appreciate the acknowledgment and I also admire your clarity! I’m hoping that society is starting to change where being child-free is as accepted as having children!

[@tatum6333]

Thank you so much for this! I’m 44. I bade never wanted children. I gone through every reason you have your vlog. As always you explained it so much more eloquently than some have. I simply cannot imagine losing myself to the degree one should with a child. I have always wanted different things. Just thank you again for this. I will share this so many times

[@scotthiskes3840]

I don't understand why people feel you should conform to their standard. It saddens me that they continue to the point where you feel you must defend yourself. Just be Eva, that's why we like you.😉

[@dragasan]

They need ignorant little taxpayers, that's the reason. 😂

[@carolineindacityphx]

Someone once asked me, "Do you have children?" and I immediately gasped and said, "Gosh. No. Thank goodness! I dodged that bullet." 😂 Safe to say, she never spoke to me about children ever again. I am like you in the last reason you gave. I have never wanted to invest my time in having children, because I realized it would take away from the things I wanted to do in my life. Yes, I have admitted to people that my reasons for not wanting children are selfish, and I am okay with that. The other reason, which I am coming to realize as I get older, is that this world was never good enough for any child of mine. The world is a horrible place for many, and I have been truly blessed to have been given the best opportunities in life, wonderful parents (may they rest in peace), a wonderful family, and a loving husband...My life is perfect. But I know how bad life can be, especially for children. So I try to help make a difference in my community, in the hopes that somewhere, a child's life improved because the community improved. Anyway, I truly enjoyed your video. Thank you for sharing this perspective. PS: I noticed, your video had 45.8K views and only 74 likes. Clearly a a hot-button topic.

[@s.b200]

I completely agree with you. I work in science and from most of the future projections that we can make with scientific data the future isn't looking very promising for us as a species. We might see a population crash within the coming decades...even if it doesnt mean extinction (a population crash is a common phenomenon in ecology after a population boom like the one we as humans had over the past hundreds of years. You also see it in history, e.g. the Romans and Mayans). It may sound overly dramatic, and that's why it isn't spoken about so much. But for myself, just knowing the critical times and uncertainty that my child would grow up in, and how different it was to how I grew up, is enough to seriously hesitate to have kids. It's not the main reason I dont want kids (similar to Eva I dont think the mother role is for me), but it's a big reason.

[@wendysmith6372]

I'm 51, no kids, and I have two reasons for not wanting children -- 1. I don't like kids; 2. I never met a partner I wanted to marry, and I didn't want to be a single parent (cheers to all you single parents....that's A LOT of work).

[@kado982]

I heard someone say that all the good people aren’t having kids, and all the horrible people are having kids left and right. So im going to have kids. Im a good person and the world needs more good people.

[@GamingAndChill]

Calling yourself a good person is always a red flag. Also, it's kind of selfish creating new people who never asked to be here.

[@AsAbove-b1g]

Not true, not wanting kids shows the person won't be making the world a better place for children and generations to come

[@SkyeID]

Breeding is no guarantee that you'll have a good kid. Your kid could grow up to be an asshole, or a criminal, no matter how you raise them.

[@hollywilde6693]

Hi Eva I am 38 this year. I never wanted kids but hoped I would change my mind as I got older and did more stuff with my life. However, the more I did the more I wanted to do. I kept putting off the idea of having children, even when at 30 I found a partner that would have allowed it to happen (up until then I had never been in a long term relationship). But nothing changed, in fact each experience I had I would say I’m just going to travel to India and then I’m ready to settle down and have children. But I was never ready. The years passed and last year my brother had a child and I decided that if I wanted a child it needed to be now while I had support of other new mothers. It was scary, I felt like I was going to the gallows. But I didn’t get pregnant. I felt relieved. Maybe I really don’t want children and never did, for all the reasons you described. But I felt like I was letting everyone down. My mother kept telling me I was unfulfilled. My partner is not contributing in any way it’s all on me and I’m taking care of sick parents and a yard and lots of animals who depend on me for everything. My freedom to travel is hard earned, I understand responsibility and commitment and I long for freedom but also I can’t leave the things I love. I knew having a child would be the same. But then I watched your video and on the same day I found out I was pregnant. I can’t tell you the anxiety I felt I had a complete mental breakdown because I suddenly realised the freedom I had been craving had been taken away again and on top of that I had no idea how I was going to take care of my parents, the family home, my partner who was living in my home with my parents, my horses and animals and being self employed I would have to stop working who would take care of it all? It all became very real. Then I had a miscarriage. No woman should have to experience such a traumatic event. Since then my outlook on life which has gone from adventure and beauty and freedom has turned into a nightmare. I’m really struggling with my mental health. I know deep down I don’t want children because I am not in a safe place. But I always imagined I’d have a daughter and call her Eva after my grandmother, so it feels like I’ve had to say goodbye to her. Watching my sister in law with her baby makes me feel so trapped. People like you who are strong in their convictions help me to feel better about my decisions when every one around me sees me as a failure, including my parents who want a d grandchild.

[@ClearwaterKB]

After becoming a single mother, 10 years ago, when my kids were 1 and 2 1/2, I respect people's decision to NOT have children even more. It is hard, thankless and exhausting. That said, I wouldn't change a thing as I always had the desire to be a mother and didn’t get pregnant until after setting myself up to be able to independently support myself.

[@penultimateh766]

Wait until they get old enough to marry felons, abandon you, and put you in a nursing home. Then the fun REALLY begins.

[@girldboro9834]

Raising little kids as a single parent is EXACTLY what you said. Mine are now grown and I'm still exhausted...and broke!

[@BeingHumane173]

Motherhood is every woman's personal choice, not an obligation, no matter what. Women don't owe this world or anyone any kid/kids. You don't even have to give any reasons for your choice, or be apologetic about it. Its totally ok to be childfree by choice. Your life, your body, your choice, no one else's business. Stay strong ! And thanks a lot for this video.

[@babyws18]

I would say all of the above. 33 here, people told me all my life that I would change my mind and everyday as the world gets worse it just strengthens my decision.

[@clementinepoirel9061]

Thank you Eva. I love your videos. I am 32 years old and I am really starting to get stressed out because I am at an age I should have children. But it's just not the right time for me. I have anxiety and there are a lot of other things that I want to do in life so I am not even sure that I would be happy with a child even though I have this feeling that I really want to have children. :)

[@alyonachmil9781]

I totally agree with you. I don't want to have a child because I adore my life, and there's no room for a baby. I'm selfish, but I don't think it is something bad. Being selfish means taking care of yourself first. It does not mean not taking care of others.

[@sisiluka1]

Before I had my son I was just like you. Thinking the same thoughts and having the same feelings. Kids were not for me. Now, I still have the same worries and some days are really tough, but I feel like a new world has just opened up with new feelings and a new opportunities to grow and heal. I am not trying to convince anyone, I am just sharing my story.

[@blktauna]

@@silentnot4812 better you than me. Best wishes to you both.

[@yoanamircheva4688]

I am a mother of two boys and I completely agree with you that a woman can lose her sense of self at least during the first years of motherhood. I've always had a mathernal instinct, but it was so hard that I really started thinking " did I really signed up for this?" It takes a lot of internal work to find what you really want and need in your life. I love my kids and luckily with the support of my partner and family I came through my doubts , but your discussion is really important , because there are people who realize that they do not want to be parents AFTER they have kids. Being true to yourself is the best you can do in this world! Admirations for your honesty and bravery! ❤

[@rsg7221]

I recently realised I don't have a child wish. I have a wish to be part of a community, a real community, that works together as a family. That is not something I often see in this world where independent living is the norm.

[@ratgoose8709]

I love this “my life energy is much better spent on things I am passionate about”. I feel the same. We are not all equally suited to a specific task. Let the passionate parents spend their energy where they can, and will, give it their all. For me, my energy is well spent in other places, where my passions lie.

[@Worldtravellerz_onwheels]

I have to agree with your main reason. I feel the same way. I've traveled since I was 19 and always assumed I would meet someone and settle down with kids, a house etc. But after meeting my boyfriend who also travels in a van and has a nomadic lifestyle like me, it made me evaluate everything. And now we have decided we don't want kids, it doesn't work with our lifestyle and personally I would probably 'resent' the child if I had to give it up - which is awful I know. I have a 4yr old black lab who travels everywhere with us and we will be driving the Pan Am with him - this is much more our style than a traditional family vacation 🤷

[@ericabellew8809]

You’re honestly spot on about the role of a mother. As a mother, it’s all consuming. Granted I have a one year old and I’m told it’s slightly less consuming as they get older. But kudos to you for having the self awareness of knowing you don’t want to take on this role. I love my daughter so much and have zero regrets, but that was my choice 😊

[@angeladoms]

I got sooo tired of people voicing 'oh you will regret it' ! regret could fall both ways regret having them is also what could have happened. If i did live to regret not having any then that is just a chapter in my life i have to live with. I never felt any maternal instincts whatsoever, and could never find where a child could fit into my life, and having reached the young age of 60 still living a very active life I'm still sooo regret less 😊👍

[@upandaway5844]

Thank you Eva!! I'm currently in a relationship and my partner does want children - and I'm 36 and still not sure at all if I do. Your video speaks to my heart and made me cry, so thank you for your honesty!

[@JusDrawBraw]

Same here My partner wants children but I'm sure I don't. I've been watching baby videos and feeling out my thoughts to see if I'm willing to change my heart, to keep my heart... It's tough.

[@JoePesty]

having kids is a big commitment, I have three. But your choice is perfectly normal and your choice.

[@adventure_outdoors]

I'm in my 30s now and have never wanted kids. I've considered adopting at an older age, but I currently do not have the desire either to be a mom. I love kids (have worked as a camp counselor, substitute teacher, etc.) but just do not want any of my own. Being a Christian / in the church, my decision has led to lots of questions and comments from people. I appreciate people like you speaking out!

[@jessieandtalie]

Brava. Keep listening and honoring your true North!

[@robertstanfill2360]

I had 3 miscarriages and wasn't able to have a child. So we adopted our daughter. So if you don't want to bring another one into the world adopt one that's already here. Foster a child. Find a mentoring program. Lots of other options. Whatever works for you. It's your choice.❤❤❤

[@Aniexo_]

I wish more parents thought like you. But parenting isn’t about the children it’s about them.

[@cherylmay595]

I think she explained that she just doesn't want children. Whether birthed or otherwise...she doesn't want children. So of course she'd never adopt a child because she doesn't want children.

[@anaadamski.]

Adoption is hard. I was adopted, it was extremely hard for my family and my own mental health

[@pokerqAK47]

Time is limited and I don’t wanna spend it to raise someone else’s genes. I’d rather have a dog. I just really don’t get it. It would be like a stranger sleeping in my house and I wouldn’t feel safe. What you don’t understand that everyone is different and you shouldn’t advise such a thing to a childfree.

[@antonboludo8886]

If you adopt them when they are babies I do not think they would count as strangers, though. Still each person makes their own choices. @@pokerqAK47

[@geoffmerrill164]

Commitment. Huge commitment. Losing oneself. All valid, all a variation on fear of the unknown, all very natural, all very human. Forget all the noble/not, selfish/not (etc) for now, be yourself NOW. Thanks for your presentation, take care. Life is change. You do you. I have many good friends, some with kids, some without. We all count, we all contribute.

[@crobinsmusic]

Thank you for sharing this with the world and furthering the conversation about why it is ok not to want children. I am mother to three biologically and many others, just from maternal nature. I was meant to have children and yet at the moment only one of my three children has any inclination that if life presents the opportunity they might have children. I think all of my children are right in their decisions. I have always told them, if you want to have children that is wonderful and if you don't that is wonderful and please don't have children just to fulfill some perceived societal expectation. There are enough of us driven to have children that the species will continue to exist for many thousands of years, if we can learn to take care of the world we live in.

[@gcm4312]

I think the paternal/maternal instinct definitely exist. I felt it - once. So I locked myself indoors for 3 days, binged some series and it went away 😂 And about your main reason being selfish, I feel exactly the opposite about it... in my view it is imensely more selfish to have a child just to please a personal desire.

[@findthekindness]

I agree and appreciate your truth about it being selfish to have kids, not many view it that way.

[@gcm4312]

@@findthekindness well I didn't say that having a child is selfish in itself. What I meant is that having a child, solely to please one's desire to have children (and not take into consideration other aspects), is selfish.

[@pavliiii]

I love the video! I am gonna be 39 this year and last year I decided to be childfree :) I tried to be in relationships for the sake of making a family and it didnt work out. I found out that it was basically because I didnt want it but couldnt see it through the pressure of the society. Since I realized Ive been living my best life :) Having kids is just an option of living life.

[@helenawoods]

Wow!! I just posted on this exact same topic and then saw you on my recommended home page So wonderful to see more women speaking up, encouraging others to be true to themselves. Clarity is an empowering thing 😻You go girl!! 👏 I'm 29, happily married and have also never wanted kids. Despite loving them!

[@VenturaDominique]

I grew up radical Christian and had kids very early. And as much as I love them and would never give them back.. I know, if I had the choice back then, I would not have had kids. I broke out of religion, am single mom of 3 kids now.. but I know I could have lived my potential better without kids and that I would have been a better person. I offen feel I have to navigate a life I was not meant for. .. still thankful.. it’s a wise and strong decision to not have kids. And I congratulate you for that backbone you have.

[@montedreams1]

There is nothing that compares to having children, they are truly amazing! But it is also good to know your self and what you want in your life. Your feelings might change if you truly fell in love? And they may never change? Follow your heart in what ever you do, my friend. God bless you!

[@SandiBrava]

Completely agree with you, Eva. I don’t want children either. I don’t want the role of a mother, the role that I feel our society largely (unfortunately) undervalues. I spent a lot of time with my nephew when he was a baby and that was a good validation for me as to why I shouldn’t have kids. He was cute and a great baby but for 2 months that I spent together with him to help my sister, I felt suffocated, I felt like I had lost everything, I felt like I was lost and I felt very, very tired. I wasn’t even a parent to this baby, I was just helping out. I’ve been married for 4 years now and every time the topic of kids comes up and I say that I don’t want them, people respond with “you’ll change your mind” , “what’s the point of life without kids”, “you’ll be bored of your husband over time so might as well have kids”, “who will look after you when you’re old”. I find this so fascinating, that our society is built with an expectation that everyone will follow a linear passage in life. They will study at school, study at uni, get a good job, get married, buy a house, have a kid, have another kid. And then force your kids to have grandkids. I don’t buy into this. I think there is more to life than just having kids. If people want kids, absolutely, I don’t judge and I love kids. But the expectation for EVERYONE to have kids is just crazy. I remember when I told my father in law that I don’t want kids, he said “it’s your social responsibility to give us grandkids”. That blew my mind, social responsibility? No, it’s not, it’s a choice, it’s a very personal and private choice. Nothing wrong with having kids or not having kids but everyone should have the right to choose what’s right for them. I think if more people thought about whether they really want kids, we would have a happier population out there. Thank you, Eva for talking about a subject that I think is very much still taboo, in 2023. And for making women like me, feel less weird and “odd one out”. Thank you.

[@camerachica73]

I'm 50 and have not wanted children since I stayed with a family when I was 16 and saw what the mother went through. The dad just went to work every morning and the mother who was studying to be a psychologist had to tend to the 4 kids under 10. Driving to violin lessons, softball practice, soccer practice, boy scouts, girl scouts, tai kwondo, recitals, jungle gym, play dates, birthday parties, summer school, science camp, church camp, it was never ending. Constant snack providing, fighting in the car you'd have to screech to a halt and tell them off. They were lovely kids, but boy it was endless and I decided there and then that it wasn't for me. It's not for everyone and the mother relished her role in their lives and did end up qualifying and starting work.

[@dalepetersen1166]

That sounds like fun to me. Beats being alone

[@ccalexander1924]

I would also like to add I am seeing more people choosing not to have kids. It’s not 1950 anymore. The world is changing

[@elizaannazuzanna8823]

I am 39 (since yesterday 😂) and never wanted to have children. I think the main reason is similar to yours: I have so many passions and interests that I can't imagine to be a mum. And I love what you have said about "loosing your identity" because you feel so much as Vilk's caregiver; I adopted two kittens two months ago, and I feel much less the same. I love them with all my heart but I feel so much as "cats mummy" that I can't even imagine how I would feel to be a mum of the little human...

[@LittleJenniren]

I’m 41, was sterilized in my 30’s and I’ve known since I was 6yrs old that I never wanted kids. I’ve heard the “when you meet the right man, you’ll change your mind, it’s different when they’re yours” from people my whole life. I don’t know why people question people who don’t want kids more than those who do (surely potential parents are taking on a bigger responsibility by choosing to). I also think we need to stop attaching the word “selfish” to childfree people. Parenthood is a choice. Therefore you can choose to or choose not to. It’s not a default. So choosing not to isn’t selfish. It’s just your preference. And people need to get over that.

[@valerietaylor9615]

Oscar Wilde put it best: “Selfishness isn’t living as one wishes to live. It’s wanting others to live as one wishes to live.”

[@liamodonovan6610]

You are perfectly valid in you're decision to be childfree iam a childfree male i wish childfree women got the same respect as childfree you're awesome and you're decision to be childfree is not selfish

[@mayageorge1847]

Yes! Its the respect aspect or rather the value aspect. I can cite a thousand examples where people who choose to breed get advantages in the workplace, acknowledgement and validation in family circles, a pass for bad behaviour , financial and other gifts not accorded child free people even if the child free person has contributed more significantly to society as a whole.

[@Orangeshebert]

So glad you walked us through this thought process. I admire you for understanding yourself. Motherhood is huge, life changing and not for everyone. Our world and society is decaying. I’m sort of glad my adult children have not procreated. Love to you!

[@equipdoc]

Your reasoning is well thought out. I applaud your ability to take the long view. I only wish I had stuck to what I wanted and not given in to social pressure. Thanks to you I can at least watch you do what I so wanted to do. You are much appreciated.

[@LoremIpsum1970]

53, never regretted not having any, we just don't like them tbh. You are brave posting this, knowing what some of the comments will say...❤👍

[@roberthardy2013]

My wife died very suddenly a month ago after 51 years married and I am BLOODY glad we had two boys. They have been there for me 200% since and my grandkids have forced me to smile in spite of myself. It’s YOUR choice and I am glad we made our choices the way we did. My two went through private schools here in the UK and the expense was horrendous - on the plus side they both have great jobs and homes with stable loving families.

[@ericacosta987]

You don’t want children because you don’t want to… end of! We need to respect women decisions… because anyways, when the “fathers” leave and do it part time, no one complains!! Good on you lady!!!

[@debrasill3678]

Hi Eva, you are an inspiration, and I respect and admire your independence, grit, and intelligence. I must say that I agree on all your points... especially the one about bringing a child into the world to struggle, suffer, then die, they don't ask to be here, or to be born. You don't owe anyone an explanation as to your reasons why you don't want to procreate. It is your life, and only you live it, so you do what's best for you. Thanks for your videos 😊

[@biashacker]

Getting old and dying of some dreadful disease sucks. Most people (parents) do not take into the consideration the pain and suffering that happens at the end of life. 10 minutes of excruciating pain as one dies from cancer is enough to wipeout a lifetime of happiness. What's worse is most of the time, the selfish parents that brought you into this world will not be around when you are there writhing in pain before you take your last breadth.

It’s always so nice to listen to you, Eva. As a happy mother, I just want to jump in real quick! First, everything you said makes A LOT of sense. It's absolutely okay to make the choice not to have children. Personal decisions about whether or not to become a parent should always be respected and supported. However, one aspect of this choice that people may not fully realize is how much children can be incredible teachers. For those deeply connected to self-development (like you are, I assume! 😉 ), growth, and living life to the fullest, I think it's essential to understand that having children doesn't necessarily restrict you from these pursuits; rather, it can enhance them. Children have the ability to teach us valuable life lessons : patience, resilience, curiosity, determination, adaptability… Before having my son, I used to view life divided into 2 distinct chapters : before kids and after kids. However i think that this division is not as clear-cut as it might seem. Life with my kid is not a departure from what I was, but rather an expansion of it. It's a continuum. I still get to do a lot of things that I like and now, I can share them with the person I love the most. But hey, don’t get me wrong : it IS a lot of responsibilities , money, dedication and sleepless nights. 😉 You got all of that right. I just wanted to point out that it’s not so clear-cut I it might seem. (But still, it's OK to choose not to have children, I repeat. :) ) Take care! Thanks for everything you share!

[@lifewithlarsandsusie8315]

I agree with you! Well said.

[@terricox3559]

I hear you, but having children IS very restrictive in many ways and i think it would be disingenuous to pretend it isn't there's a lot of aspects of my life now that would disappear with children. Spontaneous plans, worry-free sleep, financial freedom and definitely free time. I 100% know that kids bring a lot of positives and growth too, but it's all part of a bigger picture. Is the gain worth more than what you lose basically. To some yes, to others no. I also feel the need to point out that all resilience, patience, unconditional love etc all of those things are not exclusive to people with children, parents don't have the monopoly on it. There's a LOT of life experiences that bestow these traits on people as they get older, and that's often overlooked in childfree people

@@terricox3559 Oh. Yes. 100%. I think I did mentionned that it’s a lot of responsabilities and sacrifices. 😉 And so are many other things. But I just wanted to point out that life does not end when you have kids. (As I thought it would when I was younger and was figuring out if I wanted kids or not.) But I hear you. 🫶

@@terricox3559 And I agree with your point about all the wonderful qualities we mentionned. I think we can both say that life is all about nuances. Nothing is all black or all white. ✌️ Thank you for your comment.

[@terricox3559]

@ thank you for yours too xx

[@rickhernandez5440]

I’m 47 and retired from the military. My two kiddos are grown, I put them both through college, and now they’re living their lives. I live alone, and enjoy traveling when I want to, and where I want to. I love being a dad! Raising children isn’t for everyone. You have to want to have children, if you don’t. Then don’t. Either way, no one should tell you how to live. One day you might want to…that’s cool too. It’s your choice.

[@chrissyhiking]

Thank you for sharing this vulnerable video ❤ I resonate with not wanting to take on a mother role (that would last for the rest of life). I want to put my energy into my life and making my life great. Selfish maybe, but it's my life ❤

[@bmichellew2010]

Every reason you stated is every reason for me not having or wanting kids. Plus I also have trokophobia,which is fear of childbirth and pregnancy.

[@m_jay5]

I have high functioning autism (Asperger's Syndrome) and I can't even fully take care of myself let alone a child!

[@MaxieTheMenace]

Better to be selfish with no kids than selfish with kids 🤣 that’s how I see it. I don’t see kids in my future either. I do however want to help my nieces and nephew as they go through life experiences 😊

[@michael-kb5ld]

I'm 54 male I've never had kids and I still don't want them

[@mayageorge1847]

Its comforting to hear someone in my age range say such a thing because I am constantly inundated with questions about whether I regret not having kids. I bear the same sentiment you do but am often regarded negatively about my choice. Even male and female friends my age, in our late 40's who havent had kids yet are all lamenting the fact. For me though, after practically raising three brothers, caring for two terminally ill people for over a decade, putting a lot of my dreams to travel extensively and live a certain lifestyle aside out of necessity, and for so many other environmental and sociological reasons, I couldnt imagine having kids. I think people without kids can have a much greater impact on the larger picture of the world today with the work and life we are able to focus on. But I need to hear that others feel the same way some days - as I head out to a baby shower with armour on.

[@mariasophie167]

I really liked the video! I have 1 child, but I'm not sure if I had a maternal instinct. It was more the curiosity and a love for challenges. I really wanted to master the challenge and as so many people have children, I wanted to know what it was like. Now that I have a child, it has its ups and downs, I definitely had to give up things, but as my child is getting older, I'm regaining more time for myself and I love living in both worlds. This is possible for me because my husband and I share the childcare 50%. Some of these thoughts that you mentioned are the same thoughts that I had about having a second child. Never ever. Now that I really know how much work it is, I don't want to give up my freedom (again).

[@CounterFiat]

I really appreciate a young woman that is so conscious to stop and think about this instead of just "plugging in", literally/figuratively 👀and blindly pro-creating. For all the parents commenting, what makes you feel like creating new beings that are doomed to suffer and die is worth the misery? I see many saying "I was once like you until I had my x number of them". Not to be mean but all of these comments from parents look like clueless carbon copy copes. Like you all are posting about having your kids just to have them or trying to rationalize an accident.

[@theridgelinestories]

I am 32 and unmarried. I really don't know yet if I want to have kids or not. But thanks for sharing this Eva. It will surely help people get some clarity and not just fall for what the society usually expects of us in general. ✌️😊

[@psilocybina_]

I absolutely agree with statement that people who question themselves if they would be a great parents would be actually amazing at parenting! Most of awful parents I came across were people who never asked themselves questions and assumed they're as good as it gets... As a childless person I always envy a little bit all the child free people being able of making it a choice, not a life circumstance. But in general I believe people should stop questioning other people choices, as long as one is happy with one's choice and it doesn't hurt anyone - why this is still such a big deal?

[@Random-Wanderer232]

Thank you for having these types of conversations with your audience. 😊 Personally, I found the idea of being "child-free" vs. "child-less" to be very relevant. Depending on which prospective you're coming from, the way in which we communicate using our words makes a difference in the way others understand us & our situations. I am 41, child free & nomadic as well. Traveling is something I'm passionate about. Sending love ❤

[@000bullets]

Only in first world nations will people ever complain about the “inconveniences” of having children. It’s so depressing to see so many self centered and hedonistic young people making excuses to not have children. When societies don’t have children that’s extremely bad for future generations because the financial strain it puts on them to support an aging population. Japan is realizing that now.

[@edh329]

My wife and I have been married for over 30 years (both in our late 50s) and early on we decided not to have any children. We tell people that both of us thought about having children from time to time but neither of us at the same time. The honest truth is that we really just never really wanted kids and have never regretted the decision. I think we are closer as a couple because of this and we are looking forward to our retirement years (coming up faster then expected) and having the freedom to do what we want.

[@martinhudon8337]

Not wanting children is fine. Maybe your desire will evolve with time and it's fine too. Maybe you'll meet someone you'll want to have a child with, or not, and it's fine too. Live your life the way you want. 🌞

[@serenasneddon]

I've always wanted to have kids and I still do, but at the same time, it has never been a top priority for me. I'm 29 and I still have so much life I need to live, so many experiences I need to have, that I just wouldn't be able to have with children, or at least not in the way I'd like to have them. I think your reasoning for not wanting kids is actually quite noble because I've always observed since I was little myself that many people don't seem to take having kids seriously enough. It is SUCH a serious thing. It is arguably the most serious thing, besides marriage in my opinion. People should not be having kids unless they want to be committed to another human being for the rest of their lives. So what you said makes perfect sense to me, even though I do hope to have kids someday.

[@SurpriseMeJT]

I realized that more trips to different places and more miles on the trails and roads, training just to reinforce that identity of an active person that I feel I must maintain in order to mantain my image as a privileged person in society started to feel really empty. Once I had children, I realized that although a trade-off, I am glad that I will get to experience parenthood in my life. More miles on the roads and trails would be nice, but I know for a fact that all of those things we do when we are child-less also becomes very repetitive and often meaningless once we get older. I now know that I will die having also have had experienced the other natural human wonder of raising my children. That means more to me than more travelling and more time cycling, hiking, etc. I already did that and will now share it with my kids.

[@lilyannajoy]

yesssss thank you so much for making this video and for touching on your passions and your vision for your life and how kids just don’t fit. i feel the same way and it’s been really hard for me to admit it to myself at times. it helps me so much to hear women my age expressing the same sentiment in a really resolute way. much love to you!!!

[@lizpereda4877]

Bravo Eva. Your situation sounds so similar to mine with my older sister having 4 and helping her raise them. As a teenager I quickly knew I did not want kids. I did end up marrying a man who had two little kids, and I helped raise them, which has been a challenge all by itself. And despite my love for them, I truly agree with you. And thank you for being so brave in sharing your thoughts. It truly is a choice and should be respected as such. Not selfish at all. Well done.

[@ildyivy]

This is the funny part about when we say we don’t want kids, but only women have a real choice b/c of abortion being available. U end up marrying a man with kids, and u raised someone else’s kids anyway. Even tho u chose not to actually give birth to your own. This is why it’s kind of tricky with the not wanting, even if we don’t conciously desire to get pregnant and have our own u will often in some way get saddled with kids at some point oftentimes wether they’re your own or someone else’s since women often go into caring type professions or by nature are caretakers. The problem with wen we say we don’t want kids is that most of us especially in our youth we desire intimate relations and w/o abortion being available bc birth control is not necessarily a option for everyone due to side effects or not as effective as they claim. So most women had kids prior to abortion being easily available, if they had sex wether or not they actually wanted to become mothers. So this is my issue with wen pple say they don’t want kids. Many unborn kids die as a result and are not given up for adoption. I think it’s the pregnancy that really makes many women put off to having kids.

[@Ttboo-xe8oh]

I'm 51 yrs young. My husband and I have been married 33yrs. We spent much of our younger life rodeoing and farming and working. We traveled alot and had a cattle business too. But..I never had the overwhelming urge to have children. And yes I got asked 24-7 when yall gonna have kids. I'm not a follower I don't have to keep up w the Jones's. And nobody would ever pressure me as to having children. Bc it's a huge commitment. A huge undertaking. And plus your dog Vilk minds way more better than most kids I've encountered. Lol and so does my dog. My mother was an excellent mother and my dad was great dad. I had an extremely great childhood. It's hard enough to be responsible for yourself in this nutty world. But having kids. Oh boy that's not for me. I'm fine w my dog my horses cows calves etc etc. Don't beat yourself up. If you don't won't kids don't let anyone talk into it or make you feel guilty. Bc your the one that has to deal w that situation if it ever happens. Enjoy life and have no regrets. And thank God we have our own choices to make.

[@robinpettit7827]

You can either want children or not want to have children. What ever you decide is your decision. Children can be extremely taxing. I raised one. It was a lot. However, after all I have been through with him, I do feel good about it.

[@padmeasmr]

I'm 30. I feel like I don't want to have a mate but I might want a child either my own or adopted in the future. Or maybe not. I think I'd be a good mom and sacrifice everything for being good at it. But I also know there are many ways of being a mother to other humans. I like spiritual motherhood. I like teaching. I like nuns and their type of motherhood. The world is so much more than just find a mate and procreate. I've found out that I my lifetime I've had many fathers and mothers, not just the biological ones.

[@meep_murp8758]

If everyone was meant to have a kid, there wouldn't be a foster care system.

[@ccalexander1924]

I never wanted kids. I knew I didn’t want any when I was very young because of how I was raised. Very dysfunctional household where my mom abused me physically and mentally. I was spit on , hit with a belt , always blamed for things I didn’t do , given silent treatment when I was very little . If I came home from school without a smile plastered on my face she would yell “ what’s the matter with you “! She always picked on me. My dad was an alcoholic. He told me he started drinking around 13-14 years old so my parents always fought. My mom was always angry and mean and my dad was always working or drunk. I remember thinking of this is what’s it’s like to raise a child then I don’t want any part of it. I was abused so much that I was terrified I would treat my child the way my mom treated me and I don’t want to do that. I was always so unhappy and I just don’t want to make someone else unhappy. I feel like I’m unstable mentally. I have two sisters . One doesn’t want kids either. The other one has two and both of her kids are in therapy with major anxiety and depression. Her daughter went to therapy for over a year about her mom ( my sis ) and went NC while going to therapy. I have no idea what happened with all of that but I think my sis with the kids passed some dysfunction onto her kids.

[@carulaporelmundo]

Hi Eva!! I'm Xime... since I was 18, after taking care of my nephew, I knew that I didn't want to have children, for different reasons... I don't have a maternal instinct, I don't like children, I want to have my time and money for myself, because I do not want to go through the biological process of being pregnant, and because I do not want to fulfill the role of mother. I am 37 years old and one of the things I reaffirmed while traveling is that I do not want to be a mother. I felt very identified with you. I hug you. in the distance from Argentina another crazy nomad.. ❤

[@haveaknifeday]

My father suffered from mental illness and we suffered along with him. I wouldn’t have any to take the chance of passing it on. So, I’m a big brother.

[@dimensionalfuse1810]

As long as you are a loving person - and you find people with whom you can share yourself, then you are doing the work you are here for. Be it children or old folk. Your passions are the things that drive you through this life. But the people along the way that you share your love, will be the reason the whole trip was worthwhile. Find your peace.

[@blancoCuervo]

Make this World a better brighter place for Mother's !!!

[@whitefam2000]

I applaud your reasoning for your direction in life, it's your life. Both of my sisters decided not to have children, and one of my sisters said that whenever she felt a question in that direction, she would come and take our kids for a few days or a week. That made her confident in her decision not to have kids. She had a full and happy life, and because of her health I believe she made the right call and feel privileged to have helped in her decision. My other sister cannot have children, but got to help raise her ex's son from the time he was 6 mos old. Even after they split she still thinks and calls him her son. My own daughter has told me from the time she was 12 that she doesn't want to bring up kids in this world, and at 33 still hasn't, and I think she also is well balanced in her reasoning. We have no right to try to pressure any of our children, and haven't, into having kids. Out of 4 children only 1 felt the desire to get married and have children, but he waited till he was 28 yrs old to get married, and another 4 yrs for he and his wife to get established together before they had the first of 2, 2 years apart. My wife and I, even though we're in our 60's wouldn't mind having another 4, but know that it won't happen. We caught the bug early, our oldest is 40 so you do the math. We just had that paternal and maternal instinct, and enjoyed being daddy and mommy. My father will be 90 in a couple months and he taught me one thing early on, "Even when they leave home, and have their own life, you will always be a dad and mom." He was 29 when I was born. You are a very level headed and self aware Lady(word is not used enough), and I am very supportive, if that helps you, of your decision. You do you, the rest will take care of itself. You don't owe anybody an explanation, but I feel honored to have had you share it with all of us. 😁🤗--Mike

[@monikori6473]

I had children, unfortunately with a sociopath and temporarily lost them due to family court abuse. But you are right. My life still completely revolves around helping my children, who are unfortunately now in an abusive situation. But the last reasons you outlined are exactly why I don't want a romantic relationship. Our time is so precious. It's ok to choose how we invest our energy and time.