I don't wanna be here anymore

[@seemranhoro]

"To live is to suffer, to survive is to find some meaning in the suffering."

[@jeyaprabhasanjaypragash5828]

You have a bright future!

[@carlosb.1541]

was that not from jordan peterson?

[@karmalhendupbhutia717]

👍👍👍

[@jamesgreenldn]

I realised this after reading Victor Frankl, he was able to survive the Nazi concentration camps by finding meaning even amidst the misery of the camp. He found that by finding meaning in their life an individual is able to endure and overcome their suffering.

[@Zampirezz]

Why do we need to find a meaning there are billions of humans and I have bigger priorities

[@pixelinox1698]

This channel is one of the first thing that made me fall in love with poetry. Because of it I started to read more and more poems and at one point I started to write texts myself and i found a passion in Wich i discovered myself. Thanks to this channel:))

[@thawancamara1191]

Coool, this is definitely something nice to read in a Sunday morning! Congrats :))

[@illneas]

I'm so happy to read that, take care friend

[@horatio.5899]

are you vietnamese ?

[@anindyade2960]

"If nothing saves us from death, at least love should save us from life." Pablo Neruda

[@StrikerCup79]

“then come with me” made me burst in tears, i hope that one day someone would say the same thing to me and i hope that they would loved me the same way i hated myself, i hope that if the person will come they won’t leave me because of who i am instead they will love me for the way i am. that is what i needed the most.

[@illneas]

Take care friend, better days ahead

[@SadieStewella]

“Love me the same way I hate myself” WOW 🥺 that hits me SO hard. Thank you for sharing 💛

[@kayanono]

I also thought that. She said she would do exactly that. I kinda hate how i fell for that

[@umarshaikh3930]

“I had two longings and one was fighting the other, I wanted to be loved and I wanted to be alone” ~Jean Rhys

[@lst_sul2118]

Love this quote ❤️

[@immortalsugimandudeguy]

I haven’t heard this before, thank you! That embodies how I feel. I want to love so deeply and so intensely, but I cannot comprehend how to love or even wanting to be with someone. It’s a purgatory of loneliness, but at the same time, happiness within the solitude.

[@Ivan-hc3tk]

Wow feels good to finally know am not alone:) Somehow something just clicked in me as I read this

[@palakshukla1719]

I am trying my level best to make my desire to be alone conquer my love for being loved. I found a way in nature...alone gazing at the stars, i don't think face mortal face would light me up as a shooting star does.. Only problem is....I am 22.

[@cookienut1288]

"The chaos around me is tired of me trying to figure it out" This particular part stood out for me. I think it's perhaps the reason why we get stuck so very often, some things aren't meant to be figured out, the complexity is what we need to understand and not simplify. Something's are complicated the way they are, and we must love them like that, or we don't. People, tasks, struggles, everything is a ball of threads interwoven in different patterns, trying to unlace them will leave us both tired.

[@illneas]

love this analysis

[@lefortbeatrice6183]

"programmed by my upbringing... patterns..." these ring so strong through the physical... That's why many don't wanna be here anymore... Wanna escape to be free... To almost live another kind of free suffering... Strange to say but that's how it feels. Amazing work! ✨

[@illneas]

I'm glad that it was relatable, despite my nerdy approach on feelings

[@lefortbeatrice6183]

@@illneas ✨

[@noorabd6185]

Each time a poem touches mysoul like this I feel like it’s like a candle lightened inside….

[@illneas]

Thank you once again ❤️

[@githala_manisha]

Recently I've been feeling like this and it's horrifying as how accurate someone else's words can be for me. The way you put these feelings in words is just beyond amazing. Thank you for always comforting me through poetry and your impeccable videography. Keep going internet friend!

[@prashantsisodiya1772]

Exactly, this beautiful art is so alike to what's going on in our lives, and you, your camera and editing is marvellous..... Just love it ☺️

[@illneas]

Awww that's so sweet, thank you so much

[@blackalectrona]

I know. I know. It's gonna be okay.

[@OT7forever777]

Yep Isn't is beautiful and shocking that someone unknown can know you very well but not someone who loves you or you love

[@maribel-andree1998]

Maybe poetry is one's desperate attempt to reach out to another lonely soul in a world that went quiet.

[@devikae7087]

I honestly don't wanna be here anymore....

[@Anettsky-]

sometime I feel the same but I remember I read somwhere something like '' we all die one day, all of us , no excuses, no exceptions but not all of us know how to live...so i guest this is our chalange (learning how to live and to love yourself)

[@eternalkino34]

devika ?? what is you mother tongue how did you end up here !!!?????

[@devikae7087]

@@Anettsky- thankyou for your kind words hopefully I can , maybe when the storm ends idk ;)

[@devikae7087]

@@eternalkino34 probably as you guessed from my name I'm an Indian, malayali! and the second question ... idk the answer now I'm here..

[@eternalkino34]

@@devikae7087 maybe you watched "For Twenty Year Olds Who Have Never Been Loved" and decided to follow the channel And yeah I am from Chennai and this is one fine channel

[@snehaantal2026]

No definitely you're not the 'kid with a camera' anymore... This is a piece of art. Keep going dude.

[@illneas]

heheh still a kid

[@sashadideeda9825]

… “and your eyes that reflect the worlds that you saw”…this got me… a person’s eyes tells you exactly what you need to know. Brilliantly done . You are becoming a master at what you do…. Never stop… never give up💖

[@illneas]

a picked up that phrase from a friend

[@LuxuryBeatsMusic]

We will always be here because as a thief once said to a police officer when caught red handed; “we all gotta be somewhere”. He was asked “what do you think you’re doing here?”

[@ahxishhajcjd]

i rewathing this again, and again im fvcking crying

[@bonthuharshavardhanreddy2343]

This hits home. I've resonated with the above topics and feel this way often at night. I applaud your wonderful skills, bringing the beauty of poetry to the screen, coupled with beautiful imagery and captivating music. I would love to collaborate with you one day!

[@laibakamran3745]

Poetry admiralism. I love how connected words can make you feel with people who suffer or survive with corresponding feelings in matters of love. Eloquently written, intensely felt.

[@sparkyfromel]

wanting .......not wanting but still the mote of dust dance in the ray of sunlight

[@kitsuujujitsuu4025]

The line "cuts like razors through my skin" is so sharp It's like a razor that cuts through my skin

[@Gloomy_Vieve]

I’ve always had a fascination with poetry and this channel has showed me so many beautiful poems, some of which have become my favorites

[@estkng03]

Thank you for that moment The colours, the violence and the softness of it is incredible .

[@illneas]

Awwww you are too kind, appreciate you

[@swarali2904]

Wow, it's almost criminal how you put these feelings into words. Thank you for another thoughtful poem. Curious to know what artists you look up to for inspiration, if any.

[@illneas]

pls don't arrest me, thank you so much

[@illneas]

I look to may things for inspiration, the painting on the thumbnail was one also the song Woolworm by indian summer

[@swarali2904]

@@illneas 😂 wouldn't dare, need more of it , if anything.

[@swarali2904]

@@illneas cool, thanks 💙

[@simranjeetkour1407]

the poetry + the voice +the visuals + the background music slowly grasped my mind and it puts me in awe every time 🍁

[@illneas]

Aww 🥰

[@phalgunirajkumar4858]

The words are so good but what makes this even better is the accent of the lady.

[@Jatinevim]

It is crazy how many people can relate, even myself... yet I feel so alone with my thoughts... It is just so hard...

[@illneas]

Take care fren

[@lorifromtemeculaca426]

I wait for your new videos like I'm waiting to take a deep breath. You so exactly capture the plethora of unexplainable feelings so many of us have. You nail it EVERY time!!!

[@illneas]

You are too kind, thank you so much

[@dumass804]

Your words are really beautiful. This reminded me of when I was going through life with a deterministic mindset when I first started thinking about these things. It made everything so miserable because it made me feel like I had no control over anything so there was no point in trying to change anything or be better because in the end it doesn't really matter what I want and maybe what I want isn't even in my control. I thought I was just another spectator of my life, only from the inside unlike everyone else who could only see the exterior part of my life and not all the best inside bits. I started feeling really suicidal. That's actually when I found your video about the morning after I killed myself. It helped to put things in perspective for me. Even if I have no control - which I don't really believe anymore anyway - It doesn't stop me from enjoying whatever good things I have in life and it can never stop me from being me - and overall I'm actually quite happy with the person I am so that isn't too bad. All that is to say thank you for making these videos. You saved my life back then. And you put into words a lot of things that get stuck in my head and don't know how to come out.

[@tylervanmeter5628]

The words in your poetry are great, but the way they are read in your videos is what makes the words divine!

[@divinelyh]

"Words cut like razors through my skin ". It made my eyes to shed a tear 🥺

[@frogchair]

Your level of artistry is just getting more and more wonderful! Been following you for years and this video really impressed me! The poetry and music is amazing as always, but the footage and the transitions and the filters was so dramatic and perfectly done! Great work, please keep it up 💕💕💕

[@illneas]

Aww thank you so much for the comment and for sticking around

[@billipta3573]

Felt everything word by word... i cant even explain you what i am feeling right now!...i've have officially fallen in love with your channel and your poetry....

[@maggieshaheen8701]

The editing and the vibe of this video is new and unique!!! Great work

[@illneas]

thank you for checking it out

[@kimberlykozar6671]

Thank you.

[@ayeemnr]

Man! Everything about this video is perfect. I loved the narration so much! The videography is amazing, too. The music. Everything. Pure art, Illneas.🌻

[@illneas]

[@user-vv7og1gt7t]

These words are coming from my soul through her words and music. I don’t want to be here anymore….

[@Whirlwind990]

wow your editing is getting better and better! your original pieces are so good

[@mooonshroom]

I feel pain 99% of the time. But the 1% I'm happy I'm watching your vids

[@Forit26]

Hey, have you tried getting professional help?

[@lalaland1383]

i find life overwhelming...so beautiful..yet so sad.making so many mistakes...a sadness in my soul i just cant get rid of.ty for this .

[@pmcg5200]

Powerful. Beautiful. Thank You.❤

[@rosellcollart9335]

This is so beautiful!!

[@themindof_mine]

Wonderful as always! The music, the poem, even the thumbnail! Well done!

[@illneas]

Thank you for the comment, please write more, create more, whatever you want. You are so talented pls

[@themindof_mine]

@@illneas thank you sm :‘) will definitely do!

[@Metamorphosed_almost]

The endings in your poems are always my favourite part.

[@illneas]

People rarely remember the first thing you say, sometimes they never forget the last. Thank you for watching

[@Metamorphosed_almost]

@@illneas It's a pleasure to be here.

[@Metamorphosed_almost]

@@illneas Indeed. And some people are too careless to remember any of them or even things that are in between them though.

[@malakia184]

I've already left.. Not coming back!

[@fatimazoughaib282]

Not me hitting like even before watching the video cuz i am pretty sure it is outstanding as usual

[@Saturns48]

I love the whole piece. The film matched with the poetry, and the parts read with desperation. The last lines are a couple of my favorites...I don't wanna be here anymore...you smiled and said...then come with me❤

[@illneas]

Thank you so much Carolyn ^^

[@65-ayshasiddiqua8]

This is one of my Favourite illy video i must say...& i feel like you just wrote the lines that i wanted to say or i am feeling right now! So relatable 🌸

[@illneas]

I'm glad I'm still able to produce things with meaning

[@lisan.8891]

Where do I start? This video is wonderful! The colors and images chosen, the atmosphere, the mood and the effects are just beautiful. The music to this very appropriate and rousing. As if that were not enough this masterpiece of a poem. I will watch this video very often and always discover new aspects in it. Thank you for all the energy and love you share with us

[@illneas]

Awww I'm rewatchable that's such a compliment

[@Vroix02]

Definitely one of your best if not the best.

[@edwardtoon6542]

Socrates, one of the most beautiful humans that ever lived.

[@Scetchye]

This was very good. Thank you!

[@Fromtheforgottengardens]

i loved this line Maybe they also reflect the worlds ahead of you all I know is that "I don't want to be here anymore" You smiled and said "then come with me"

[@illneas]

🥰🥰🥰

[@its_leyl.a]

yet again, one of ur most unique videos. thank u for this.

[@illneas]

Appreciate Leyla, I thought of experimenting on this one

[@godevil8228]

This is so effortlessly beautiful fr 🫂

[@grimnirnacht]

The ending, just 🖤

[@afd5231]

«Existentialism is a humanism» Then come with me ...and let me hold your hand🎶 Disturbing red and black but soothing ending words. Talents💙

[@mklntr2004]

This video was really amazing. It was different from your other videos. Thank you for making such beautiful things. Good job :)

[@illneas]

thank you for giving me a chance to evolve

[@void3824]

Amazing as always.

[@emmakrumm6399]

I don't know how much I'll be able to think about this poem, but one thing I noticed and I'd like to share: The first shots in this video are of standing at a window, and it looks just like the end of the last poem published here. Only last time, we heard the words "At least I'm still breathing". And now the picture is violently stained with beaming red and this poem begins. To me it reflects what I have felt, talking to my beautiful friend who suffered from depression. The days where she seemed to get better, talked to me, had a strong day. And I so wanted to believe that a better day means better days ahead, and next she was all getting much worse again. Worry. Wound. I really hope all of you have a bright day. Or a bright moment between all the others.

[@illneas]

You need an award for noticing this, I wanted the previous poem to make it in 2 parts and it changed on the last minute... But this scene transition stayed because it looked cool and I thought someone might notice it

[@Mary-vm9cv]

The last line though

[@santiago8497]

Men, the end give me shivers down my spine, i totally frozee, so great.

[@illneas]

😊😊😊

[@me.bikramjitsaha]

This channel is amazing at this art, every time I get wrapped in the velvet curtains of this exceptional poetry

[@hossainshariarchowdhury]

Where will we go, you take me heavenly somewhere, as all wish might be fulfilled there. 🌌💫

[@flamingaish]

thankyou.

[@grimnirnacht]

I love the ending 🖤

[@fdfac]

This channel and work have value and worthy of subscription and thanks.

[@illneas]

Damn thank you

[@alifewithpoetry]

This is my new favourite. I adore your filming, editing and overall production. The scarlet tones blended with monotone truly enhances the presentation. My heart bled into your beautiful poem effortlessly. Her emotive narration speaks to my soul and the music is perfect. Profound work ❤️❤️❤️❤️

[@illneas]

Thank you so much T

[@rathulartz]

Your poems are really good it brings some kinda clarity in my thoughts , sometimes its just a ball of hope , a reason to live again. It turns the mess in my head to a message , keep writing man really appreciate your works and words ."Being flawless starts with flaws"~me

[@illneas]

awww thank you so much

[@archanaadhikari3821]

can feel every line❤

[@chaditeen25]

Given my encounters with the facts of the human nature thus far regardless of location, I simply decided to end it for once and for all as no meaning is worth all the suffering "just for the sake that I was born"

[@jennifercesario9238]

This was beautiful ❤️

[@abdxfilms]

Dude, this is another level 🔥

[@illneas]

Ahh thanks

[@yatharthsharma4013]

This is already my favorite! Even though it is not out yet!!!!!. Lol 😁😌

[@Shallowworld9236]

much anticipated... loving it ❤

[@elenarey2440]

perfect like always i wish i could describe it with words:))

[@jisookim4981]

I'm not much into poetry, though I like some, and this is the one That I absoloutly LOVE this really speaks to me your poetry is beautiful and the last line...I never thaught before that "then come with me" may can be the answer to someone who wants to leave this place I'm delighted I accidentally found this♥️

[@lst_sul2118]

" I don't wanna be here anymore " 🎐

[@EdgeHellfire]

Thank you for this, I appreciate your hard work

[@illneas]

Thank you mate

[@_di-liw_]

It feels more like "then come with me" is said to me by someone inside me, as if they're sucking me in because it was my decision to go with them in the first place

[@gr8omar129]

This is insane! well done illnea

[@illneas]

Thank you sm

[@sherifel-alfy7271]

I also want to go with you.....there's no room for me here anymore, there's nothing left of me and I just need everything to stop.

[@poem]

I would love to do a voiceover for one of your videos these days, before I quit.

[@marshalljbg1980]

A masterpiece... Really...

[@dobby7176]

[@Libys]

After this video the youtube algorithm suggests me videos with Christian content

[@A.G.Birajdar]

😂

[@illneas]

Amen

[@Transcendent_dragon]

Love, tears hearts I don't wanna be here anymore, I have troubles being in places where there are many people, You said that my eyes reflect the worlds I saw, I was rejected by the only women I loved, Because I was a child who does have money she said, After that I stopped pursuing women Girls who I was their crush I rejected them My friend said why not use your so called being handsome and changes these women like undies I said that handsome-ness is meaningless to me if it can't get me to places where I want to go, If I knew the consequences of being a writing would I have chosen it ? Who will be chinaski to me? Who will be illneas to ? What will I be doing now, the direct confrontation and the plagues , problems of living have provided me uncertainty, I'm pessimist about existence,if life has no meaning then why should me live it, Mass suicide we can go I have been ready since yesterday, Who do you have? Are you friends really your friends? Does your girlfriend love you or she's using you to keep her companies until her prince charming comes, Are you a failure? Are you a winner but your not satisfied? Do you have anger issues? Have u lost something precious? Are you a virgin in your 20(s)? Do you have girl that is supportive,that is not exploiting you until you run dry and after she will run to the guy she madly loves, Do you pray? Do you believe in God? Do you believe in Satan? Heaven or hell your choice, grade 12 is making me anxious, I forgot I am a(

[@mthokozisiskhumbuzo4273]

Ooowee this promises to be a good one ☝🏽 I’ve already set up a notification…😁

[@tomarkadi6612]

I don’t live, I just destroying time

[@Sh67817]

Absolutely beautiful ❤️

[@rue5746]

I will..

[@Zaffre398]

I started writing poems recently..🙂

[@illneas]

Omg have fun

[@Zaffre398]

@@illneas I'm having so much fun...thank you bro..☺️☺️

[@jilll4690]

Life is hard

[@swatisharma3003]

... Illneas❄

[@brendangregory6373]

“This shit hard” - me

[@blackalectrona]

for real, man

[@sherriejahn8734]

I want to live a FairyTale in a different place if only for a little while. Find that person I've never found...... I don't want to be here. I want to be there if only for once.....in a lifetime.

[@LifeForUndead]

Existentialism Freewill doesn't exist

[@LifeForUndead]

Choices are only the things we interact with...

[@FFeeLiT]

I guess we are all waiting for someone who take us away. Or perhaps our soul just wants to return to Allah and our mind is trying to figure out that desire.

[@sarthakg7976]

Don't wanna be here anymore ❤️

[@suesmith9665]

Poetry is the only thing keeping me alive but i dont even write now how ironic...

[@illneas]

Pls take care of yourself

[@suesmith9665]

@@illneas silly, I always do.

[@nurhome2048]

AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH I AM LATE BUT AS ALWAYS I LOVED THIS VIDEO A LOT!!!!! ❤️❤️

[@illneas]

Aww thank you

[@meg9272]

BRAVO!! 👏