I FEEL ALL OF YOUR EMOTIONS: ANXIOUS ATTACHMENT (LOVED 2)

*FOR MORE INFORMATION ONLINE COURSES AND FREE CHECKLIST:
www.drsagehelp.com
**************************
Please check out my courses (LINK ABOVE):
1. BORDERLINE AND NARCISSISTIC PARENTS: HEALING AND DEALING WITH YOUR TRAUMA
(*This course is designed specifically for you if you were raised by parents who had Narcissistic, Borderline or significantly Emotionally Immature parents.)
2. RE-MOTHERED: TRANSFORM YOUR WOUNDED INNER CHILD INTO AN INTERNALIZED, LOVING "MOTHER"
(***This course is designed to help you learn to heal your inner child AND your inner parent if you experienced a complicated childhood or challenging relational wounds).
3. IDENTIFYING CHILDHOOD EMOTIONAL ABUSE AND NEGLECT (FREE COURSE)
CHECKLIST IS INCLUDED IN ALL 3 COURSES!!**
xo
***Please note! I am so sorry but my practice is full at this time and I cannot accept new patients. If you would like to be added to my waitlist, please email me at [e-mail] and I will email you only when a spot becomes available. I cannot guarantee a spot will open, however, so please know I care very much, but am limited at this time given my case load.
* Additionally, I am only able to work with California residents (due to state licensing and insurance requirements for myself) for weekly therapy once available. If you are interested, please also add in a few brief details in your email including your reasons for seeking treatment, current diagnoses, concerns, etc.

[@natalieparker3187]

After having to dance around the feelings of my mother and husband, I’m sick of it. I tried to teach my kids that other people are quite capable of taking care of themselves and their own emotions, and it’s not their job to do that. Oh, how I would live life differently if I could go back with this knowledge and empowerment. You seem like a really good therapist, thank you for your videos.

[@mday3821]

I just want to say, good for you to teach your children that they are not responsible for how other people feel. Kids really need to hear & learn that message. I also wish I could go back and do life differently with knowing what I know now.

[@Sheywh12]

Me too! And my step jerk too!!

[@Natvaesen]

I have good parents. They are good and kind people. But in my childhood my mother used to be hot and cold all the time... She could be the most warm and present mom one moment, and then be short tempered and stressed the other. It wasn't her fault, I know, she had her troubles from her own childhood, and probably was often stressed and annoyed because she pretty much did all the caregiving, while working a lot, and my dad often had to go and be a musician besides working. I was a very, very sensitive child, so I learned to walk on eggshells around her all the time. I am HYPER-vigilant, probably because of that. This video helped me really understand that. Thank you so much

[@erykahhoney588]

Omg… I was under-parented so I over-parent everyone because I wish I had someone who knew better to look out for me. Stopping this today.

[@DrKimSage]

Welcome to my club!❤😂🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻

[@Sheywh12]

Don't feel bad I've helped every one of them all my life Didn't even realize what I was doing Care Taker 101 here!!

[@ryannesumbry4130]

Thanks for the reminder. I like what you said. “I can still be there for you if you need me without taking on your emotions “

[@carrielassiter8455]

What’s interesting is that when you do try to please and give off the vibe that other people are more important than yourself, people let you do it. They don’t recognize that you’re suffering and not being good enough to yourself. They allow you to be the doormat, even family members who are supposed to care about you. I have distanced myself from my family for this very reason, because they will not let me out of that box now that I no longer want to live that way. I will not tolerate feeling less than anymore.

[@LadyGoddessSephiroth]

I needed this video. I have no children but I was parentified. I had to parent my siblings and my emotionally immature parents. I seem to attract people who need to be mothered. A friend suggested it's bc I didn't have that so I do it for other people. He calls me Mama Bear. I am admittedly overprotective, esp if I genuinely love someone. But we're all adults. I need to stop. I can care about them and be supportive but I'm not a mom, and I'm esp not their mom. They can handle their own problems. If they need me I'm there but I can't keep taking on everyone's problems/feelings and mine. It's exhausting and it's a disservice to me. Thank you for helping me realize this Dr. Kim.

[@Sheywh12]

Sounds like you lived in my home and in my body! I feel you!!

[@taniathecreat0r]

Felt this 100% !!

[@deea7843]

The timing of this video is just beautiful ♥️ thank you so much for all the good that you do, you’ve changed my life for the better.

[@Sheywh12]

Yes this is me!! But I've had enough and now being alone I'm taking care of me but it still makes me cry !!

[@virginiaparker9450]

Funny how I went to 2 yrs of therapy and you nailed it. I appreciate your knowledge. Thank you. Information and tools. Best remedy to change. ♥️

[@DrKimSage]

❤🩷🙏🏻

[@donnaferrara521]

💯 😊😊

[@ObservingFlight]

wow, i feel so safe and centered ...thank you a lot.. Got tears because it was right on spot several times.. please, keep on good work..

[@butterfly-kb4cn]

Oh my did I need to hear this! Everything you said is me to a T and what I’m experiencing this very moment. I feel exhausted and paralyzed and need to work on myself. Thank you

[@ctheo2020]

Enmeshment, Responsibility Hoarding, Anxious Attachment! The mega trifecta 🤪 Thank you, Dr. Kim. Your content continues to assist so many of us!

[@allwellandgood8547]

This brings up a realisation that it is actually all areas of my life that these dynamics play out. Visualising the suitcases of others feelings is such a great idea, I am going to apply that right away! Thank you Dr Sage ❤

[@DrKimSage]

I’m glad it’s a good visual! Sometimes I say things and wonder if I sound nutty😂😂❤❤

[@allwellandgood8547]

@@DrKimSage😂 never!❤️ You always speak so much sense..you've inspired me to have a mental 'suitcase clearout' tomorrow! I'm going to imagine it as if I was having a wardrobe clearout.

[@user-mf3zg6vo3p]

This advice has given me a whole new relationship with my husband because I would even blame him of filling the spaces with his angry energy and now I know that it was me all the time working as an antenna receiving all of his emotions, and blaming him or our relationship of how drained I ended up feeling. Thank you so much!

[@ciskaverster6979]

Time and life has taught me exactly what you are saying. I've learned to separate myself but have recently become a full time caretaker of my elderly mother. . The dynamic is very complicated again because she really needs me, and her emotions about her situation is big. I think I need some advice but not sure where to go. Researching though. Thank you Dr Kim ❤

[@Sheywh12]

Believe me this will put you back a few steps get outside advice I wished I had when taking care of the one I danced around my whole life They know your buttons better than you do!! Take Care

[@ciskaverster6979]

@@Sheywh12 thank you

[@Sheywh12]

@@ciskaverster6979 Your very welcome I'm disabled do too all this I've lived in and through. Now everyone is dead and I'm all alone to survive on my own!! Take care of you she can go to a home if need be!! Do t do it to yourself !! You will regret it in the long run..

[@Sheywh12]

@@ciskaverster6979 I wished I had realized and left her to deal with her health issues. She left me all alone all my life to do what she wanted in life I was only good when she needed me!! I know this now.

[@DD-si1gv]

I love these! Keep them coming. I am a nurse and became burnt out over a year ago, I think mainly from this with my patients/their families. I'm realizing I also took on a lot of my spouse's grief when delta hit in 2021 and he had to watch young people die in the hospital.

[@ReeseBose-db8tj]

I've been studying this stuff for a few years when I discovered it and you are giving me the depth I need. Thank you 😊

[@CandaceWebb]

So true and timely. Thank you for reminding me not to rotate around my family members. Especially true right now when my dad is by in hospital and I’ve been feeling like I should hop on a plane and ‘ help’. Part of me has been feeling guilty for not being there (yet often he wasn’t there for me).

[@heidyiglesias5536]

This is so me and this video felt so kind and validating. Thank you 🙏🏽

[@AhhNotAClue]

It amazes me and gives me hope when I see somebody rise above as you have. Where or how do people find the strength?

[@Michelle0920]

Great video as always!

[@oliviah.2346]

this is EXACTLY what i needed to hear today. tysm!❤

[@SleepyHugAsmr]

I’m here for this series 100% - lovely video!

[@debragoodschubert8226]

Thank you for clarifying this information. You’ve said everything I’ve gone through. I don’t know how to separate myself yet?!

[@erikavaleries]

Thank you Kim ❤

[@kerrymurray9108]

Great video! Unsurprising that so many of us choose to be therapists! This also fits with the enneagram 2 type

[@DrKimSage]

So true! ❤🙏🏻🩷

[@donnaferrara521]

I love this video. I agree 💯 😊

[@TMMT4]

Consistent inconsistency as an emotional unavailable primary parent. As a child I was overly involved in primary parents state of my mind, I heard and seen stuff directly and indirectly. I long for love from primary parent specifically, I seen her show it to siblings so I’ve know that it’s there. It’s always about what she wants and making me feel funny to make me do whatever she wants. She’ll make me feel funny about what I want to do too as a way to make me do what she wants. Once I’ve done what she want done and I’m annoyed about it she’ll say I didn’t have to do that yet guilt tripped me into it. The trauma her mother caused her makes her mom enable her so then she acts entitled.

[@puertoaeternus486]

I feel trapped. I work a job that demands me being on my feet for 6 hours or more. That traumatized in and of itself. But I have had a history of words exchanged with boss and coworkers. My mom died when I was 4 and dad and her fought. He's a psychopath narcissistic and was mean verbally even when she wasn't able to walk. I never had anyone consistent on my life. Only child. I was in pain as a kid. I wanted friends but I wasn't socialized normally. This gets in my was and I am finding it hopelessly impossible to make healthy attachments. I'm almost ready to give up. Why?

[@amandadavis8855]

You have described me exactly. I'm doing much better at recognizing my own fawning behaviors and being here for myself but I'm also kind of isolating myself right now too.

[@Msunderstood580]

*hugs I have also nobody really around to talk to, etc. I feel so damn lonely often in my day!

[@ryanbarker3978]

Disorganized attachment where all of these things and more happen is so much fun. Empath who is terrified of exactly what they seek.

[@user-hc2ss4vz4z]

Ooh, I hear what you're saying, but that sounds difficult to do. Will take a lot of practice 😬

[@everitadave]

this happens when "I am" = "You are" i.e. loss of identity, what`s called "fallen out of Paradise" in Christianity. one can`t serve 2 masters - either I am or you are becomes the center of my universe. but no reasoning, act of will or tricks can resolve this bc it`s subconscious and, thus, there is a need to restore relationship with God, the best way by using tools offered by the Catholic church. confession, hail Mary and centering prayers. and then I become resourceful of love. when I love, I don`t need you to love me, which reverses our energy from need to be loved by actively loving. all the sudden I become a lover, a master of my universe. love is the only power that restores us back into Paradise (I am).

[@EricaFiore]

Survival from a murderous parent. Realizing I am right and all those others were wrong. That I now speak say stopped being too kind all the time.