I Had An Affair and Left My Wife | Midlife Crisis Man, RJW Shares Marriage Story

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I Had An Affair and Left My Wife | Midlife Crisis Man, RJW Shares Marriage Story
Listen in to this incredible story of a man, RWJ, who hides his identity by calling himself goes by Jimmy, Jim or James for this recording. He is a very private man and doesn't like to share himself. Why? Because he doesn't want to hurt anyone. ❤️❤️ People struggling in marriage truly love their partner. That is what my research has shown. People just don't stop loving someone and with that comes they fact that they NEVER want to hurt anyone.
It took me months to convince RWJ to share his story so he could help others. Let's be clear...how many people do we know who would love to share their story to help others?? NOT MANY. Except if 10 years have passed and now the past is a skeleton in the closet.
I am here to help anyone and everyone get these skeletons out and talk about what they did or what happened to them. I'm right here. My goal is matches theirs based on the truth: If a person shares their story, if it helps people, if it helps ONE person change the way they are living to save other people from getting hurt (generational trauma) then why would you not want to share this? I will keep your identity secret and you will remain anonymous.
We recorded this story years ago and we are now sharing it. Please note, on the recording Robert James mentioned he writes on a website called Medium. Last noted Robert was on the platform for only a few months and is not writing much anymore.
Please pray for him, his wife and his children. May they all find peace and happiness in the life they lead today.
And if you know anyone who'd like to share their story, please reach out to us at [e-mail]
TheWifeExpert.com
TheLifeExpert.com
------------About Your Host: Laurie (TheWifeExpert.com)
Laurie is a Published Author, Podcaster, Teacher, Conference Leader, Relationship Research Expert, and Thought leader. She is also a Certified Coach who has worked with 1000’s of spouses men and women, struggling in their marriage and family, committed to killing generational trauma.
Receiving a Bachelors in Business Marketing and Communications from Loyola University in Chicago and a Graduate Management Degree at USC in CA, and Grad Study Certificates in Brain Science, Coaching, and Happiness Well Being at Yale, WCI and Amen Clinics, Laurie created TheLifeExpert.com in 1999 to be a source of joy, fun and hope for people struggling with messy issues in life.
Then in 2013, Laurie created TheWifeExpert.com and produced, shot, directed and edited the private “BEAST” Video series consisting of 210 detailed “How-to” videos. She now hosts her own TheWifeExpert.com Podcast to educate and bring love and relationship understanding to millions of followers all over the world.
A panelist on the “Divorce with Integrity” Podcast and “Marriage with Joy” Podcast, Laurie's teachings saves families and children from unnecessary trauma…which in the end brings strength to a family, community and generations that follow.
When she is not writing, coaching or teaching….Laurie loves being home connecting with her husband, 3 children and precious family and friends. She also is a believer in God, volunteers with her church and has no fear inspiring complete strangers about life, love and happiness.

[@sarahlaporte6896]

Interesting his comment about “deep conversations”. My ex said the same thing. After 29 years of marriage, #1- I’m not sure what we could be that “deep” about. #2- He never said he wanted this …he told me basically as he was leaving me. #3- There’s just no way to make things feel new again after 29 years. I found this fact to be comforting. I didn’t need to be clever or witty all the time. I didn’t have to worry about hiding or revealing any deep secrets. He already knew them all. I felt cheated I was never given a chance to fulfill his needs. Which leads me to conclude it wasn’t about me filling those needs. The new supply provided oxytocin and that’s all he really wanted.

[@TheWifeExpert]

@sarahlaporte6896 YES!!! It's him!!! Thanks Sarah!! Do you have a story to tell? Reach out to me? TheWifeExpert.com

[@Gotoworkkk]

He also really filled “ her needs” if you know what I mean😂

[@user-zh6rw2xp2z]

I luv your stories Laurie ❤and I am separated at the moment from my husband of 35 years. I thought we were soul mates and trusted him. He told me out of blue about seeing a younger woman. I was and still am heartbroken. This man is the man I love and want to be with for the rest of my life. I cannot believe how he humiliated, lied and cheated on me. He doesn’t even seem to have a bad conscious and I feel as if he’s become another person. He is definitely in the mid life crisis and thinks the grass is greener on the other side. I am struggling on but am still in shock.

[@MR-fz4gw]

My exact same situation, I realised after he was a narcissist. It all made sense and set me on my path to refocusing my love for him back onto myself.

[@TheWifeExpert]

Girl, get on my videos!!! theWifeExpert.com - come!!! I have support there for you!!

[@staciejohnson6711]

First of all, thank you Laurie for all you are doing to help rescue these marriages. Your posts, your blogs and your website have been such a blessing to me and helped me stand for my marriage the past 3 years. From the bottom of my heart, I thank you. You have given me hope in some really dark times. Secondly, on behalf of so many women who are dying to know what is going on in the minds of their lost spouses, please thank this man for sharing his perspective. Finally, I am no expert and I am in no place to give advice, but I wonder if something like Affair Recovery would be a good tool for him to dive into to find the answers he is looking for. They also work on marriage restoration, but focus so much on healing the root causes and finding forgiveness within themselves. Just a thought. Thank you again for all you do! ❤

[@TheWifeExpert]

Yes. Thank you Stacie. The teacher shows up when the student is ready. For this man, same thing....when he is ready....his teacher will show up. Stacie, maybe you can join me on one of my Fun Wife trips??? Hope so! Then I can hug you and thank you in person! Thank you for your kind thoughts about my program.

[@elenamartinezcaro204]

A good and honest man, and a very valuable testimony. It has helped me see what my husband may be going through and what may be in his head these days. Thank you, Laurie, and thank you, James. This was brave. I wish you the best, you deserve it.

[@TheWifeExpert]

And Elena! You are wonderful!

[@BloomingRose862]

You went down a slippery slope. Thank you for your honesty James.

[@TheWifeExpert]

yes. yes. He is brave!

[@fotingaK]

Wow! Thank you, Laurie and James, for this amazing interview. This is gold.

[@TheWifeExpert]

@fotingaK thank you!

[@BloomingRose862]

I always love talking with older couples. How did you make it? I've been married 40 years. One cannot believe the baggage that accumulated over those years.

[@TheWifeExpert]

YEAH!!! talking with older folks is GREAT!! I just spoke to 3 more couples tonight! it's my favorite pastime! Good job!! xo

[@hannawatts8368]

Yikes he said about getting back with his wife,”well, that’s certainly the right thing…” he knows exactly what needs to be done he just won’t. Hes going to walk this line for so long without picking a side that life is just going to move on without him.

[@TheWifeExpert]

Yes. You see? He's confused. EXACTLY what happens in MLC. Stay patient and come see me...TheWifeExpert.com

[@floridabrit9572]

Yes Laurie! This is one of the best interviews ever! I thank this man for his honest heartfelt perspective. Everything he said is everything you say and teach in your videos. His wife sounds amazing. I was stopping myself from wanting to shout to him that what if everything did work out with his wife uf he went back rather than his being afraid it won't work out. It's depression and he needs to look to the positives rather than a negative. If she didn't divorce him it's because she still loves him and vice versa. I hope he gets to that place and they give it another go. Life's too short so just jump back in. Thanks Laurie x

[@TheWifeExpert]

YES!!! you are lovely!! Thank you for your positive HONEST comments!

[@thornyrose1235]

I respect him for coming on and telling his story but it was difficult to listen to him talking about how he's effectively stringing his wife along. On one hand he feels shame and is afraid to ask for a second chance (which is very real and I feel for him) but on the other hand, he doesn't know if he wants to try and that maybe they should just have a platonic relationship. If he's in this state of limbo, then he needs to let his wife go. It is unfair to her if she's thinking that he might come back to her given that he hasn't filed for divorce but he's still in contact with affair partner and doesn't even know if he wants to stay with wife beyond the comfort and convenience aspect. I really hope he seeks the counsel that he's looking for and he let's her off the hook one way or another because keeping her in limbo is cruel.

[@TheWifeExpert]

When you are married - Limbo is a place you can find comfort. All perception. Thanks for your comments. ❤️

[@Gotoworkkk]

It’s sad, but they need to move on especially him. Sometimes there’s just no going back.

[@miriandoherty6755]

Shame on his new girlfriend! I hope she is faithful to him. These can of women don’t have respect for herself, the wife and less the husband. What a shame in this American country. I left my country thinking that the American women were more respect full, but they are not. I came from Santa Barbara, women literally asked my husband for his phone number in from of me. Where is the moral and the respect of married man, and married women?

[@TheWifeExpert]

@miriandoherty6755 - yes, the devil is lurking everywhere. Then someone bites the apple and you are out of the garden. Yes. Guard your thoughts and make sure you are living in the light. And if that snake comes out to tease your man....well....we can hope and pray he does the right thing....yet he has FREE WILL. Leave him to his own future. The only one we can control is ourselves! The only one who gets judged when we die is ourselves - alone. BE AMAZING. Let me know if you need me: [e-mail]

[@angelesgutierrez8912]

This was an amazing interview! He should go back to his wife and fulfill his vows, what I don’t understand is how if they are conscious they still make the bad choices?

[@TheWifeExpert]

That's MLC - they are crazy right? Thank you for your kind comments and for subscribing to me. If people stuck to their vows this world would be a massively different place right???

[@angelesgutierrez8912]

@@TheWifeExpert absolutely! Unfortunately, I am living this craziness with my husband, it is a long and painful journey for sure.

[@ebest1338]

​@angelesgutierrez8912 Don't understand either...conscious yet make bad choices that end up causing so much trauma, etc. MLC ... I don't know because what if he began 5 years or less into the marriage having covert conversation with another female in the middle of the night? What's that for him, and he wasn't even 35? Then, as the years roll on, the affairs and secret behavior went on unknown only to come out in full force after nearly 28 years of marriage. What's that? I am now the "crazy" one. I was fooled well.

[@Miko50177]

We are spiritual beings going thru a human experience. And most of us do the best we can. I understand where he is coming from. He lost connection to his being and he is in the maze trying to get there. Unfortunately as we go thru this we end up hurting the ones we love even though that is never our intention. Be patient with yourself. Quiet your mind. Spend time with nature. Rescue a dog. The water in the river will eventually lead to the ocean. Been there.

[@TheWifeExpert]

@miko50177 Hi Miko? You've been there...? As the leaver or as the left behind? Email me? [e-mail]

[@redqueen7556]

So does he believe that the relationship with the OW won’t get dry too as far as conversation and connection? I would like to know more about what the relationship with the OW is like. Do they begin to lose feelings for the OW and if so, when does it begin to fade? I have So many questions. He is sort of saying it without going into detail.

[@TheWifeExpert]

Yes, they will lose feelings for the OW because they do not have a foundation from which to launch themselves. Feed free to set up a call with me -- find me at [e-mail] and lets set up something to help you understand?

[@BloomingRose862]

Highly disagree. He's not delusional. He's speaking from his heart. To the best of his ability.

[@TheWifeExpert]

Yes. MLC.

[@cmockingjay7265]

Seriously this guy is trying to play the victim almost. He’s borderline covert narcissist

[@TheWifeExpert]

hahah....maybe...it's a life I showed you a glimpse of!

[@EVEE_Rose-3]

I hope his wife has moved on an enjoying her life. He did her a big favor by moving out. Especially, after he was having the affair. Even though he took 9 long months to break the news to his wife. At least he finally came clean. I hope she found someone who is honest with her and who contributes to her happiness and her true love. Because it definitively wasn’t James. Men are so selfish. I feel bad for his daughters. He wasn’t the father that they thought he was. He wasn’t the husband that his wife thought he was too. At least he realizes his mistakes. Sounds like he has some regrets. I hope he finds what it is that he’s looking for. I don’t even think he knows what it is. He’s a bottomless pit! His ex wife deserved a lot better and so did his girls. He needs to shit and get off the pot and stop stringing his wife along. He needs to stop being selfish and let her go so she can find the right man!

[@TheWifeExpert]

We are all on our journey!! Worry about our own self, our own soul!! And life gets Calm and Peaceful! Follow me - you will see! xoxo Thank you for your comments.

[@febamethysthernandez5440]

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[@TheWifeExpert]

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[@febamethysthernandez5440]

@@TheWifeExpert Thank you!!

[@BloomingRose862]

It's time to do no contact with the other person.

[@TheWifeExpert]

Maybe..

[@ebest1338]

Maybe???​@@TheWifeExpert

[@BloomingRose862]

I'd love to share my story.

[@TheWifeExpert]

[e-mail] - I'm waiting!!! Send me a note!

[@eleanortrinidad4403]

Is it possible to predict the outcome of your marriage if you go back to your marriage. How long will it take you to make important decisions that needs to be addressed.

[@TheWifeExpert]

If you are working with me? Then yes absolutely! TheWifeExpert.com come visit me here.

[@BloomingRose862]

I'd love to share my story. It's different.

[@TheWifeExpert]

Oh yes! All women think their story is different. YES they are...and then they are the same. It's all the same. Or maybe not...how can we set that up??? [e-mail] - reach out to me!

[@BloomingRose862]

The reason we don't like the word fear, is because of Pride. Our EGO. EGO= EDGDING GOD OUT.

[@TheWifeExpert]

YES!! Agree!

[@Steve-hs5le]

Your guest is delusional!!!!!

[@TheWifeExpert]

hahah....he is on his journey. I interviewed him for my listeners and he was brave and open to share. let's be grateful.