I Had An Affair and Left My Wife | Midlife Crisis Man, RJW Shares Marriage Story

[@arkansaslala]

Interesting his comment about “deep conversations”. My ex said the same thing. After 29 years of marriage, #1- I’m not sure what we could be that “deep” about. #2- He never said he wanted this …he told me basically as he was leaving me. #3- There’s just no way to make things feel new again after 29 years. I found this fact to be comforting. I didn’t need to be clever or witty all the time. I didn’t have to worry about hiding or revealing any deep secrets. He already knew them all. I felt cheated I was never given a chance to fulfill his needs. Which leads me to conclude it wasn’t about me filling those needs. The new supply provided oxytocin and that’s all he really wanted.

[@TheWifeExpert]

@sarahlaporte6896 YES!!! It's him!!! Thanks Sarah!! Do you have a story to tell? Reach out to me? TheWifeExpert.com

[@Gotoworkkk]

He also really filled “ her needs” if you know what I mean😂

[@PatriciaStowasser]

I luv your stories Laurie ❤and I am separated at the moment from my husband of 35 years. I thought we were soul mates and trusted him. He told me out of blue about seeing a younger woman. I was and still am heartbroken. This man is the man I love and want to be with for the rest of my life. I cannot believe how he humiliated, lied and cheated on me. He doesn’t even seem to have a bad conscious and I feel as if he’s become another person. He is definitely in the mid life crisis and thinks the grass is greener on the other side. I am struggling on but am still in shock.

[@MR-fz4gw]

My exact same situation, I realised after he was a narcissist. It all made sense and set me on my path to refocusing my love for him back onto myself.

[@TheWifeExpert]

Girl, get on my videos!!! theWifeExpert.com - come!!! I have support there for you!!

[@staciejohnson6711]

First of all, thank you Laurie for all you are doing to help rescue these marriages. Your posts, your blogs and your website have been such a blessing to me and helped me stand for my marriage the past 3 years. From the bottom of my heart, I thank you. You have given me hope in some really dark times. Secondly, on behalf of so many women who are dying to know what is going on in the minds of their lost spouses, please thank this man for sharing his perspective. Finally, I am no expert and I am in no place to give advice, but I wonder if something like Affair Recovery would be a good tool for him to dive into to find the answers he is looking for. They also work on marriage restoration, but focus so much on healing the root causes and finding forgiveness within themselves. Just a thought. Thank you again for all you do! ❤

[@TheWifeExpert]

Yes. Thank you Stacie. The teacher shows up when the student is ready. For this man, same thing....when he is ready....his teacher will show up. Stacie, maybe you can join me on one of my Fun Wife trips??? Hope so! Then I can hug you and thank you in person! Thank you for your kind thoughts about my program.

[@4DShepherd]

Hi! Thank you so much for this!! His words served as my tipping point for finally understanding how my husband crossed the line!! Do you have a link to his blog with his writing he referred to?

[@TheWifeExpert]

Hi! Yes! It is amazing isn’t it? No right now he doesn’t have a blog. He shut it down probably two months after we spoke. If you ever hear of someone writing their heart about what they’ve gone through, please tell me about it? I would like to share that here.❤️❤️

[@elenamartinezcaro204]

A good and honest man, and a very valuable testimony. It has helped me see what my husband may be going through and what may be in his head these days. Thank you, Laurie, and thank you, James. This was brave. I wish you the best, you deserve it.

[@TheWifeExpert]

And Elena! You are wonderful!

[@BloomingRose862]

You went down a slippery slope. Thank you for your honesty James.

[@TheWifeExpert]

yes. yes. He is brave!

[@BloomingRose862]

I always love talking with older couples. How did you make it? I've been married 40 years. One cannot believe the baggage that accumulated over those years.

[@TheWifeExpert]

YEAH!!! talking with older folks is GREAT!! I just spoke to 3 more couples tonight! it's my favorite pastime! Good job!! xo

[@fotingaK]

Wow! Thank you, Laurie and James, for this amazing interview. This is gold.

[@TheWifeExpert]

@fotingaK thank you!

[@floridabrit9572]

Yes Laurie! This is one of the best interviews ever! I thank this man for his honest heartfelt perspective. Everything he said is everything you say and teach in your videos. His wife sounds amazing. I was stopping myself from wanting to shout to him that what if everything did work out with his wife uf he went back rather than his being afraid it won't work out. It's depression and he needs to look to the positives rather than a negative. If she didn't divorce him it's because she still loves him and vice versa. I hope he gets to that place and they give it another go. Life's too short so just jump back in. Thanks Laurie x

[@TheWifeExpert]

YES!!! you are lovely!! Thank you for your positive HONEST comments!

[@hannawatts8368]

Yikes he said about getting back with his wife,”well, that’s certainly the right thing…” he knows exactly what needs to be done he just won’t. Hes going to walk this line for so long without picking a side that life is just going to move on without him.

[@TheWifeExpert]

Yes. You see? He's confused. EXACTLY what happens in MLC. Stay patient and come see me...TheWifeExpert.com

[@angelesgutierrez8912]

This was an amazing interview! He should go back to his wife and fulfill his vows, what I don’t understand is how if they are conscious they still make the bad choices?

[@TheWifeExpert]

That's MLC - they are crazy right? Thank you for your kind comments and for subscribing to me. If people stuck to their vows this world would be a massively different place right???

[@angelesgutierrez8912]

@@TheWifeExpert absolutely! Unfortunately, I am living this craziness with my husband, it is a long and painful journey for sure.

[@ebest1338]

​@angelesgutierrez8912 Don't understand either...conscious yet make bad choices that end up causing so much trauma, etc. MLC ... I don't know because what if he began 5 years or less into the marriage having covert conversation with another female in the middle of the night? What's that for him, and he wasn't even 35? Then, as the years roll on, the affairs and secret behavior went on unknown only to come out in full force after nearly 28 years of marriage. What's that? I am now the "crazy" one. I was fooled well.

[@miriandoherty6755]

Shame on his new girlfriend! I hope she is faithful to him. These can of women don’t have respect for herself, the wife and less the husband. What a shame in this American country. I left my country thinking that the American women were more respect full, but they are not. I came from Santa Barbara, women literally asked my husband for his phone number in from of me. Where is the moral and the respect of married man, and married women?

[@TheWifeExpert]

@miriandoherty6755 - yes, the devil is lurking everywhere. Then someone bites the apple and you are out of the garden. Yes. Guard your thoughts and make sure you are living in the light. And if that snake comes out to tease your man....well....we can hope and pray he does the right thing....yet he has FREE WILL. Leave him to his own future. The only one we can control is ourselves! The only one who gets judged when we die is ourselves - alone. BE AMAZING. Let me know if you need me: [e-mail]

[@Miko50177]

We are spiritual beings going thru a human experience. And most of us do the best we can. I understand where he is coming from. He lost connection to his being and he is in the maze trying to get there. Unfortunately as we go thru this we end up hurting the ones we love even though that is never our intention. Be patient with yourself. Quiet your mind. Spend time with nature. Rescue a dog. The water in the river will eventually lead to the ocean. Been there.

[@TheWifeExpert]

@miko50177 Hi Miko? You've been there...? As the leaver or as the left behind? Email me? [e-mail]

[@EVEE_Rose-3]

I hope his wife has moved on an enjoying her life. He did her a big favor by moving out. Especially, after he was having the affair. Even though he took 9 long months to break the news to his wife. At least he finally came clean. I hope she found someone who is honest with her and who contributes to her happiness and her true love. Because it definitively wasn’t James. Men are so selfish. I feel bad for his daughters. He wasn’t the father that they thought he was. He wasn’t the husband that his wife thought he was too. At least he realizes his mistakes. Sounds like he has some regrets. I hope he finds what it is that he’s looking for. I don’t even think he knows what it is. He’s a bottomless pit! His ex wife deserved a lot better and so did his girls. He needs to shit and get off the pot and stop stringing his wife along. He needs to stop being selfish and let her go so she can find the right man!

[@TheWifeExpert]

We are all on our journey!! Worry about our own self, our own soul!! And life gets Calm and Peaceful! Follow me - you will see! xoxo Thank you for your comments.

[@febamethysthernandez5440]

Can you share the hair product that you used to regrow your hair? Thank you.

[@TheWifeExpert]

hi...yes....thanks for asking. Sometimes I don't think anyone cares to know. But you are right. I need to share what I talk about so in case you want to try - you know from an unpaid source. Kind of silly but it worked. I O-Ded on this stuff. If it works for you - Don't stop either - I did for a few weeks when I went out of town and my hair just stopped growing again. HA! amzn.to/46GKSNi- pills amzn.to/3RoHcLQ - gummies amzn.to/47S7fAE - gummies

[@febamethysthernandez5440]

@@TheWifeExpert Thank you!!

[@redqueen7556]

So does he believe that the relationship with the OW won’t get dry too as far as conversation and connection? I would like to know more about what the relationship with the OW is like. Do they begin to lose feelings for the OW and if so, when does it begin to fade? I have So many questions. He is sort of saying it without going into detail.

[@TheWifeExpert]

Yes, they will lose feelings for the OW because they do not have a foundation from which to launch themselves. Feed free to set up a call with me -- find me at [e-mail] and lets set up something to help you understand?

[@thornyrose1235]

I respect him for coming on and telling his story but it was difficult to listen to him talking about how he's effectively stringing his wife along. On one hand he feels shame and is afraid to ask for a second chance (which is very real and I feel for him) but on the other hand, he doesn't know if he wants to try and that maybe they should just have a platonic relationship. If he's in this state of limbo, then he needs to let his wife go. It is unfair to her if she's thinking that he might come back to her given that he hasn't filed for divorce but he's still in contact with affair partner and doesn't even know if he wants to stay with wife beyond the comfort and convenience aspect. I really hope he seeks the counsel that he's looking for and he let's her off the hook one way or another because keeping her in limbo is cruel.

[@TheWifeExpert]

When you are married - Limbo is a place you can find comfort. All perception. Thanks for your comments. ❤️

[@Gotoworkkk]

It’s sad, but they need to move on especially him. Sometimes there’s just no going back.

[@joshuahall6488]

He still is not fully facing the damage he caused. They did not "grow apart" and he conveys that at times, but still embelishes that narrative that they grew apart. His kids are surprised it didnt happen sooner because of his behavior, not because they "hrew apart". His youngest recognizes he abandoned them, yet his attitude is that its fine because he sees her twice a month. MLCers also recognize them yelling requirements at their spouse, as conversations and agreemants. The level of disconnect from their actions is insane. You will recognize him eluding to being at fault, then downplaying his behavior and blaming those around him in the next paragraph. They speak as though they have it all figured out and that they are through the MLC, throughout the entire MLC. This guy is still in the thick of it

[@TheWifeExpert]

YES!! That's right!! And an update will come soon! Thanks!

[@cmockingjay7265]

Seriously this guy is trying to play the victim almost. He’s borderline covert narcissist

[@TheWifeExpert]

hahah....maybe...it's a life I showed you a glimpse of!

[@eleanortrinidad4403]

Is it possible to predict the outcome of your marriage if you go back to your marriage. How long will it take you to make important decisions that needs to be addressed.

[@TheWifeExpert]

If you are working with me? Then yes absolutely! TheWifeExpert.com come visit me here.

[@MarkSummers-g2n]

Do people cheat 1st because they think they will be cheated on ?

[@TheWifeExpert]

@MarkSummers-g2n. Great question...sometimes. Yes.

[@BloomingRose862]

It's time to do no contact with the other person.

[@TheWifeExpert]

Maybe..

[@ebest1338]

Maybe???​@@TheWifeExpert

[@BloomingRose862]

I'd love to share my story.

[@TheWifeExpert]

[e-mail] - I'm waiting!!! Send me a note!

[@BloomingRose862]

I'd love to share my story. It's different.

[@TheWifeExpert]

Oh yes! All women think their story is different. YES they are...and then they are the same. It's all the same. Or maybe not...how can we set that up??? [e-mail] - reach out to me!

[@BloomingRose862]

Highly disagree. He's not delusional. He's speaking from his heart. To the best of his ability.

[@TheWifeExpert]

Yes. MLC.

[@joshuahall6488]

You should live with one first. Watch them regress to a child. Watch them switch between characters. Dealing with an MLCer is dealing with someone that has multiple personalities. Some are narcissistic and some are vindictive, and they all have elzheimers. You are listening to one character, one "mask". That is why MLC is undiagnosed and why they go through so many therapists. Once anyone sees through the mask, the MLCer distances from them, and hets a different audience. Its the same reason he doesnt take the exit ramp he talks about, its easier to keep on the mask and keep lying

[@BloomingRose862]

The reason we don't like the word fear, is because of Pride. Our EGO. EGO= EDGDING GOD OUT.

[@TheWifeExpert]

YES!! Agree!

[@Steve-hs5le]

Your guest is delusional!!!!!

[@TheWifeExpert]

hahah....he is on his journey. I interviewed him for my listeners and he was brave and open to share. let's be grateful.