I Hate Co-Parenting With My Husband’s Ex

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The Dr. John Delony Show

The Dr. John Delony Show

Жыл бұрын

I Hate Co-Parenting With My Husband’s Ex
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Пікірлер: 887
@whitneyw.7919
@whitneyw.7919 Жыл бұрын
Keeping it real - If this caller wanted inner peace then she shouldn't have married into a blended family
@Price8903
@Price8903 Жыл бұрын
Whoever she marries will be a blended family because she has children she’s brining into the mix from a previous relationship
@MS-ns4ki
@MS-ns4ki 11 ай бұрын
Exactly !!!!! Stay out
@annah3359
@annah3359 10 ай бұрын
With 5 daughters. At least the animals are male. 😂
@fandoms5ever
@fandoms5ever 9 ай бұрын
Thissss
@rarebird_82
@rarebird_82 2 ай бұрын
FACTS
@Drock34
@Drock34 3 ай бұрын
Oh man, if she was uncomfortable from day one she shouldn't have dated him or married him. My opinion she's wrong.
@ZenzoSezSo
@ZenzoSezSo 2 ай бұрын
I'm fully with you there. It's not like they sprung this dynamic on her. Better to find someone who's closer to what you want than trying to bend everyone around you to what you want.
@brianmcdonald7017
@brianmcdonald7017 Ай бұрын
He's wrong to be dating
@MMPM5870
@MMPM5870 Ай бұрын
Couldn’t agree more. She was fully aware of the whole situation and now trying to change things?! Honestly. Should never had got involved. Simple. I hope he get back with his former wife. There is no team with next wife, sorry.
@champagne4bfast
@champagne4bfast Ай бұрын
She isn’t wrong, it’s his choice whether to give in. If it was important to him to keep that arrangement he should have dumped her.
@sonjamiller8266
@sonjamiller8266 Ай бұрын
Was she the cause of the her husband's divorce?
@princessm6355
@princessm6355 5 ай бұрын
I had an ex that left me for his ex wife. She kept his kids from him and i think sent him to jail and he still took her back. I vowed to never mess with a baby daddy ever again
@elyse443
@elyse443 Ай бұрын
Some people would argue that it’s a good thing that their children got their family back.
@ykook7000
@ykook7000 Ай бұрын
How did she "send him to jail"??
@denfolo5224
@denfolo5224 Ай бұрын
So sorry he dragged you in all that knowing he was emotionally attached to his ex. 😔
@heatherchandler1184
@heatherchandler1184 Ай бұрын
@@elyse443do those same “some people” also argue that withholding the children and sending the father to jail indicates that the family is a healthy one?
@alwaysaccurate8725
@alwaysaccurate8725 Ай бұрын
Same abuse/parent alienation so I left. He did return but it did not work out. I laughed…I think the caller struggle wt meshing her and his family if they are always wt the ex.. I would just do Christmas and Birthday separate. The ex was not digging for saftey she was digging cause he chose her.
@auemmjee
@auemmjee 8 ай бұрын
Damn it feels good to be child free and ex-husband free 🎉
@rarebird_82
@rarebird_82 2 ай бұрын
Copium 🥱
@ginadow3375
@ginadow3375 2 ай бұрын
Enjoy your peace and quiet!!
@leabeauty837
@leabeauty837 2 ай бұрын
Lol when people come on here to make themselves feel better.👀
@MightyMako
@MightyMako 2 ай бұрын
@@leabeauty837 Kinda seems like you achieved that by trying to throw shade at someone for simply feeling grateful for not having the same dramas in her life as the caller does. 😂
@leabeauty837
@leabeauty837 2 ай бұрын
@@MightyMako wasn’t trying anything. I said what I said, move along😂.
@T.A.HasNoFilter
@T.A.HasNoFilter Жыл бұрын
They were co-parenting like adults.. she came in acting like a child… then had the nerve to call the ex wife a child. And messed it up for the kids.
@shirleypena4133
@shirleypena4133 Жыл бұрын
@T Anderson No, they were continuing to function as husband and wife, as a COUPLE, even though the husband has a NEW wife. If the ex-wife cannot handle not having her ex-husband by her side for each and every possible situation that arises, then the two of them should have remained married, period. In every country other than the USA, co-parenting is beautifully accomplished to EVERYONE's benefit, not just the children. Children in other countries are raised to understand and respect that their parents ARE NO LONGER A COUPLE, whether their parents remarry or remain single. Anyone who cannot function otherwise needs to REMAIN MARRIED until their children are grown and on their own.
@gmarie3053
@gmarie3053 Жыл бұрын
My parents are divorced and there’s a difference between being there for the kids and not letting go.
@TheSunshinefee
@TheSunshinefee Жыл бұрын
nope. don't play family with your ex. the new wife has every right to be upset. otherwise, stay married to your ex if you like her so much that you want to be with her all the time
@jennasittler3142
@jennasittler3142 Жыл бұрын
@@TheSunshinefee agree . What the actual hell. Why would any woman put up with this! They are still playing happy family and it is pretty manipulative - they should’ve stayed married and left new people out of this weird sister wife thing
@genxx2724
@genxx2724 Жыл бұрын
@@shirleypena4133 That is nonsense. Read the comment by the Korean.
@veeno3983
@veeno3983 Жыл бұрын
She will never be happy in this relationship with the ex wife in the picture - she needs to heal herself not try to control everything else around her
@jjgems5909
@jjgems5909 Жыл бұрын
Boom! Exactly. Like Delony said “the only person you can change is you”
@victoria_gi
@victoria_gi Жыл бұрын
I understand feeling jealous or uncomfortable with it at first but she had 2 years to figure this out before getting married. I don't get it
@kristinej.4182
@kristinej.4182 Жыл бұрын
I agree with you. I don’t understand either but I think when she was a GF or a fiancé, she tried harder to be on her good side but once she made it to the alter, she probably felt a sense of entitlement that she didn’t have before so now she is putting her foot down.
@kcourtney6826
@kcourtney6826 Жыл бұрын
I feel sorry for her, this has got to be hard, but I really wish her husband hadn’t told her about the ex wife wanting to get back with him before they met because no woman wants to spend the holidays with a woman who wants her man.
@Twinkie989
@Twinkie989 Жыл бұрын
True, but if he withheld the information, that would be impossible, too.
@sydguitar99
@sydguitar99 Жыл бұрын
It sounds like no matter what she would have felt this way because her current husband and his ex-wife would have still had this type of relationship
@michellesimmons3150
@michellesimmons3150 8 ай бұрын
Not only wants him but once shared the most intimate relationship with him, they already know each other sexually and intimately at a very deep level. And they made children…..yeah, she should be intimidated because he might, just might harbor feelings too….and THAT is what she is really afraid of.
@betbabe8222
@betbabe8222 6 ай бұрын
I think she is frustrated because she is not being treated like an equally respected member of this blended family. Ex is playing head games with the kids and hubby is silently allowing it happen.
@RepublicTeaRoom
@RepublicTeaRoom 5 ай бұрын
He's playing both of them!!! Why marry a man who has had children with another woman??? This dude is a POS
@skylarboles4155
@skylarboles4155 6 ай бұрын
I learned a long time ago that it’s not your place as a step parent to get in between any parenting situation between husband and his ex. You are not going to change how they parent and you will end up making the kids resent you if you over step the boundary. No matter how stupid and childish the other parent is being. You are their to support your husband and his choices with his kids. Period.
@mad1981all
@mad1981all 2 ай бұрын
@skylarboles4155 Thank you for this input, I felt like this was written for me.
@debbiedavies1221
@debbiedavies1221 2 ай бұрын
please share more wisdom...how is that you support your husband? and if he says something about his ex...do you just listen and don't say anything bad or "i can imagine it must he hard to deal with her?
@lolaadesina5362
@lolaadesina5362 2 ай бұрын
​@@debbiedavies1221 if he's bitching about her to you, he'll be bitching about you to her or someone else too. It's okay to just listen to him and support his decision. Those decisions are his alone
@debbiedavies1221
@debbiedavies1221 2 ай бұрын
@@lolaadesina5362 no he is not..i'm a newlywed and never been a stepmom..so I'm watching these things bc none of my friends are stepmoms..so i wanted to hear from people who have been stepmoms before
@Heidishereandthere
@Heidishereandthere 2 ай бұрын
🤔 You can only be labeled a "step parent"... if the bio-parent of the kids...IS DEAD!! Otherwise, you are nothing but their parents spouse!
@Zumcho
@Zumcho Жыл бұрын
Honestly, this is exactly why you shouldn't date someone with kids. Granted she has kids too, but the amount of mess incurred throughout the relationship with BM's and BD's just isn't worth it. Not to me.
@GameChanger597
@GameChanger597 9 ай бұрын
I'm with you. Before I got married, I decided I would never get in a relationship with someone who already had children or was married before. If I'm going to get married and start a family, it's not going to be with someone who's already had a head start. For some people it doesn't bother them but that wouldn't work for me.
@RepublicTeaRoom
@RepublicTeaRoom 5 ай бұрын
💯💯💯💯
@LB-gz3ke
@LB-gz3ke 5 ай бұрын
Right? She knew this was a very involved couple of exes when she got with this guy. She knew who this woman was when she married him. Don't marry him! She made that choice for whatever reason, she can live with it until the kids are all 18.
@princessm6355
@princessm6355 4 ай бұрын
It most definitely is not worth it! And what people have to realize is, people will ALWAYS have feelings for the person that they had kids with and you have to be okay with that.
@stacieharris
@stacieharris 2 ай бұрын
​@@princessm6355 i knew a lady who said that if she and her husband ever split, then they agreed that they will always have intimate access with each other because they had a baby together. Like, they would be each others free pass even if their new significant others did not consent to it.
@energeticsoulhealer888
@energeticsoulhealer888 Жыл бұрын
This caller is a child. My exhusband and I co-parented beautifully, went to school functions together, birthdays, holidays, family dinners, etc. We made a point of loving our children more than we disliked each other. My children THRIVED in this environment. Our common goal was the children, first and foremost. Still is, and they are 21&23. They were 3&1 when we divorced. She married this situation, and wants to control and micromanage every aspect. These poor kids, ughhhhh. Time for caller to grow up!!!!! John was great on this one.
@kristenivory628
@kristenivory628 Жыл бұрын
Agree what’s wrong with co-parenting well
@unahko6079
@unahko6079 Жыл бұрын
This only works in America lol I'm Korean, and no Koreans new wives or husbands will ever understand doing all this together. They will co-parent, but would do their jobs separately, and not with each other. I don't have kids, but if I did, and was to be divorced, I don't think I would go to functions together, especially if I'm remarried. Once a family is divided, meaning parents getting a divorce, you can't do things together... I think that always creates drama in the end. Good for you that this worked out for you, but where I come from, this would not make sense at all
@olivias2836
@olivias2836 Жыл бұрын
I applaud you for this. My parents divorced when I was 13, they always got along (atleast in front of us) and still to this day they come to all our shared functions together with their significant others and everyone gets along wonderfully. It’s the biggest blessing that despite having divorced parents we still all feel and act like a family
@whitneyw.7919
@whitneyw.7919 Жыл бұрын
Are you remarried energetic soul?
@shirleypena4133
@shirleypena4133 Жыл бұрын
@@unahko6079 I completely agree with you! You see this kind of thing ONLY in America, nowhere else. If this man chooses to continue doing everything with his ex-wife, short of going to bed with her, then he should have remained married to her OR remained single until his children were adults.
@linhaton4957
@linhaton4957 Жыл бұрын
This lady is going to ruin her husband’s relationship with his children.
@Milkymommy09
@Milkymommy09 2 ай бұрын
1000%
@lindaefraim5895
@lindaefraim5895 Ай бұрын
She doesn’t care, she just want the man, not whole him
@hadenanderson563
@hadenanderson563 Ай бұрын
Guaranteed.
@jeffblalock6326
@jeffblalock6326 Ай бұрын
Ruining...
@mjmccarthy3693
@mjmccarthy3693 Ай бұрын
Not if ex wants him back and her prescence is another opportunity for that to succeed. Caller is immature and knew better than to move forward. Only the kids lose.
@princessm6355
@princessm6355 5 ай бұрын
A situation i NEVER want.
@joshweatherly8715
@joshweatherly8715 Жыл бұрын
I’m impressed how John immediately knows what tone of voice, or vibe to take with people, given their individual situation. Sometimes really comforting, sometimes tough love, sometimes normal conversation. He says he is awkward but that is a great skill. Im sure it’s learned.
@GameChanger597
@GameChanger597 9 ай бұрын
Dr. John was actually pretty dismissive of her feelings and insensitive about her situation until he learned she was a 7 on the abuse scale. Only then did he show her some sympathy understanding.
@MS-ns4ki
@MS-ns4ki 9 ай бұрын
Alex I’m going to sue people
@gribble2979
@gribble2979 2 ай бұрын
The callers and subject are vetted before they go on the air. Dr. John knows the situation before he speaks to the caller.
@starlingswallow
@starlingswallow 2 ай бұрын
Due to all the broken families that can NOT co parent or get along....this sounds like a DREAM that both separated parents get along!!! It's so rare ❤
@jessicalake1412
@jessicalake1412 2 ай бұрын
My parents and step parents are beautiful people. They always said, the more love we can create for each other, the better all our lives will be, especially the children, and now, the grand children.
@cm5394
@cm5394 Жыл бұрын
Married people shouldn’t be going on vacations with their ex’s. If you wanted vacations with that person you should’ve stayed married or not re-married. This is what happens when breaking apart your family becomes normal in a society.
@RDCFemmes
@RDCFemmes Жыл бұрын
Stop the immaturity. children have the right to want to go on holidays with only their parents.
@jennasittler3142
@jennasittler3142 Жыл бұрын
I couldn’t agree more. This is twisted and manipulative for new spouses to deal with. These bio parents should’ve sucked this up til the kids grew up or stayed single. This is healthy for no one
@Susq15
@Susq15 Жыл бұрын
Amen.
@iNicKeoN
@iNicKeoN Жыл бұрын
You're suggersting rasing children in a toxic enviourment and modeling unhealthy realtionships? Intereting.
@kristinej.4182
@kristinej.4182 Жыл бұрын
Well said!! 👍🏻
@SageRosemary
@SageRosemary Жыл бұрын
I can't listen anymore. She needs counseling.
@RDCFemmes
@RDCFemmes Жыл бұрын
the more i listen, the less I like her. She was badly wants to be the victim when in fact, she is the problem and those crocodiles' tears just made me mad.
@YasminMahnaz
@YasminMahnaz Ай бұрын
Calling someone a loser or you won't have dinner... seriously? Grow up jealous woman
@Trish-lamour
@Trish-lamour Ай бұрын
Yes, she tried so hard to be the victim at all times. She's not mature enough for the kids to have an ideal healthy relationship with their divorced parents, she's the problem.
@smileygirl622
@smileygirl622 Ай бұрын
I agree I had to pause several times out of irritation though she lost me almost immediately when she said she's only 2 years into this family and immediately went "oh that's not happening while I'm here" zero consideration for if it's beneficial to the children, just I can now so I'm gonna put my foot down, with all the cockiness in the world. And saying she wanted to get back with the father of her children before they met as an excuse is very weak, sounds like she was perfectly respectful as soon as they were together or she would've had more examples of inappropriate behaviour than 1 statement more than 2 years ago.
@sylgaucher573
@sylgaucher573 2 ай бұрын
My ex has gone on vacation with us several times and is even invited to Holiday get togethers by my family. My current husband has always been supportive and inclusive. My kid has grown up with both of his parents there for every birthday party since he was two and he knows that we communicate about all things that involve him. It isn’t holding onto an old relationship, it’s putting your kid first. It isn’t my son’s fault that his parents got divorced so we have to be the adults and co-parent in the situation we created. My son is a happy well adjusted kid that loves his parents and his step dad.
@austyn5004
@austyn5004 Ай бұрын
I have the same relationship with my ex husband. I moved out of state with the kids 8 years ago to keep a safe distance between him myself and the kids (untreated bipolar and alcoholic). Whenever he’s being “good” (sober, medicated, stable), he is more than welcome to come stay with me and the kids for a week. Even when my boyfriend was living with us, my bf was totally on board. I have a weird situation for sure, but at least my daughters can see their mom, step dad, and bio dad all be under one roof without any type of animosity.
@dianeditonno3569
@dianeditonno3569 17 күн бұрын
​@@austyn5004I think men are more excepting in these kind of situations.
@dhritikapoor2897
@dhritikapoor2897 Жыл бұрын
Well , the ex wife also needs to understand that her marriage is over and the current wife now heads the family along with the husband . Even I would be uncomfortable going to Disney world with my husband and his ex wife . Coparenting well doesn’t mean one has to hang out together all the time.
@janethomas78
@janethomas78 Жыл бұрын
current wife is emotionally disturbed
@jackallen9045
@jackallen9045 2 ай бұрын
Bingo! Well said!
@raymondjoseph9704
@raymondjoseph9704 2 ай бұрын
@@janethomas78you’re so right, the first comment is utterly ridiculous. This woman is a breathing red flag
@laurajomcnaughton853
@laurajomcnaughton853 2 ай бұрын
If all adults in the situation have moved on and can be friends that's great for the kids so I see no harm going on holiday with ur ex and their current. Clearly she's jealous of the ex wife she think he may still like her. Also his current wife does not head the family she has no say in his kids. No women will come before me in my sons life even my exes gf she's just his dad's girlfriend and that's that she will stay in her lane
@DodgaOfficial
@DodgaOfficial Ай бұрын
Current wife does NOT head the family, the three of them are now coparenting, nobody is heading anything up. You dont supercede your step kids parent by marrying their other parent. If you can't figure out how to positively and healthily coexist in a coparenting relationship, especially when the mom and dad are very involved, you shouldn't enter into it. If mom and dad can have family events with the kids, then that's ideal, that's the best for the kids, seeing mom and dad having a good and friendly relationship is the most ideal situation for the kids, and anything else is just being selfish. It's not like they're hanging out alone, they're having family events with the kids BECAUSE THEY ARE FAMILY, dad getting a new wife doesn't change that.
@myopinions1
@myopinions1 Жыл бұрын
She screwed it all up for everyone especially her. Even when he divorces her the damage she's done is not repairable.
@sydguitar99
@sydguitar99 Жыл бұрын
People need to realize that for their kids sake, the ex and husband have to be on the same playing field or else they'll grow up being like the woman who made the call.
@CarmenBuenrostro
@CarmenBuenrostro Жыл бұрын
It’s called NACHO parenting. It’s fought to go through with it but it’s such relief when you’re there. NACHO kids, NACHO problem.
@elizabetha8565
@elizabetha8565 Жыл бұрын
I loved that she asked how, I bet lots of people have no idea how to let go.
@PomsNTomsMom92
@PomsNTomsMom92 Жыл бұрын
I knew at 22 that I didn't want to be a stepmother. She needs to take accountability and grow up a little. Think ahead 🤔 maybe.
@briiibriiibooo
@briiibriiibooo Ай бұрын
Spending time like they are isn’t being “adults for their kids” it’s being inappropriate as exes who now each have SO’s, civility is all that’s needed to be adults for the kids.
@BlazeTrinity
@BlazeTrinity Жыл бұрын
Lol stahhhp. My bf and his ex wife didn't get along when I first met him and it was miserable. I'm so glad we can all get along well now. We do family events at each other's houses all the time. If you can't get over it for the kids.... then maybe don't get with someone that has kids.
@rarebird_82
@rarebird_82 2 ай бұрын
Most adult comment on here 👌🏻 As a co-parent I approve this message 💯
@charlottehawthorne2664
@charlottehawthorne2664 2 ай бұрын
For real, I can't believe the amount of people that want to see exes at each other's throats over being connected for the kids and trying to minimize the fall out and harm for them. People normalizing toxic people is what's sickening about society. This caller is like "I have a toxic Co-parenting relationship so I want them too as well". Now that I've gotten my way they're not getting on....
@shamioshi
@shamioshi Ай бұрын
Oh no!!! Him suggesting she be THAT vulnerable straight out the gate?? If the exwife doesnt respond well or weaponizes her vulnerability that could be sooo triggering and traumatic and totally backfire. She would need trauma counseling before being that vulnerable with the ex-wife. Yikes. That advice is alarming.
@georgewagner7787
@georgewagner7787 Жыл бұрын
If another person calls a child a failure, you need to repeatedly tell them they're not
@YasminMahnaz
@YasminMahnaz Ай бұрын
Is so hard.. the other patent is adouche. You have to over correct. Does it create confusion??
@DodgaOfficial
@DodgaOfficial Ай бұрын
There's a huge difference between seriously telling a kid they're a failure and having a humorous ribbing relationship with your kid. The ex wife obviously has the type of relationship with her kids where she can rib them and they know she's joking around. Me and my best friend roast the absolutely hell out of each other, people that aren't used to it might think we hate each other, but we are like brothers and there's nothing wrong with good natured insults if everyone is having fun. We are only getting the perspective from a person who is jealous of the ex wife, so of course she's gonna see it in the most negative way because all she had when she was growing up was negativity with her parents, but a parent who has a positive relationship with their kids and has a foundation of loving them and supporting them, knows that she can joke around with them about not getting dinner for missing a goal. Tone is everything.
@dianeditonno3569
@dianeditonno3569 17 күн бұрын
​Negative words cut like a knife even when said in jest.
@nooraoraha9294
@nooraoraha9294 Жыл бұрын
If I ever put myself in a situation where I am to marry a single father, I will try my best to be friends with the ex and parent together. I don't understand why it has to be a competition.
@lela888
@lela888 8 ай бұрын
Ha! You have obviously never been in a situation like this
@Ryan-wx1bi
@Ryan-wx1bi 8 ай бұрын
​@@lela888and you are obviously gonna raise f'd up children with that type of attitude. I grew up with a split family and if my parents would have done things together, I would have looked at relationships differently.
@auemmjee
@auemmjee 8 ай бұрын
​@@Ryan-wx1biI think the point is that until you're in that situation, you have no idea if it will even be possible to be friends with a man's ex. I've dated several men with kids, 5 to be exact, but I'm no longer open to dating men who have kids because the extra stuff that comes with dating a single dad isn't worth dealing with, in my opinion. When it comes to the exes, though, some people become enemies after a relationship ends and the co-parenting relationship is tense and argumentative making a relationship between the ex and the new woman impossible. And often, the kids' mothers bring a lot of drama, are unstable, jealous, or just are not good people. It's also very rare for a woman to be secure enough to feel comfortable with another woman being around her child. I formed close relationships with some of my ex's children but I still think that getting involved with a man with kids is unwise, especially if you're a woman like me who doesn't have or want any children of my own. Not to mention, in some states, a new wife's income can be considered in calculating alimony and child support paid to the ex wife....not that I think marriage in general is a wise move either.
@sellmav
@sellmav Ай бұрын
Because she’s petty and insecure. Her husband is the spineless dud. He should have put her in her place from day one. His daughters are more important than this selfish narcissist.
@dianeditonno3569
@dianeditonno3569 17 күн бұрын
Just think about all the vacations you want to go on only to have his ex go too. Sounds terrible to me.
@V.Hansen.
@V.Hansen. Ай бұрын
I don’t want to ruin all of my own holidays by spending them with people I don’t want to. It’s fine to have shared things for the kids but there’s no reason everything should be done together.
@larissaalcorn3406
@larissaalcorn3406 Ай бұрын
But the reality is, that wasnt her choice to make for them. When she was dating him, she should have ended it when she didn't like the way they co-parent. But instead, she wanted to win. She wanted to force her own way. She didn't have to marry him.
@V.Hansen.
@V.Hansen. Ай бұрын
@@larissaalcorn3406 I’m not saying she did right in all things, I’m just pointing out that there are and should be limits to how much anyone should spend with an ex. If they’re so great why are they an ex?
@hearme4581
@hearme4581 Жыл бұрын
This woman is going to ruin everything for them kids. She projecting her own insecurities into this situation.
@john1425
@john1425 Жыл бұрын
I think if this lady went back and listened to the first part of the call when she talked about how the kids got to have holidays with the whole family and then she comes in and says, "oh no this isn't happening" she will be very ashamed of herself.
@fabiolatorres4020
@fabiolatorres4020 Жыл бұрын
She shouldn't.
@juicysmith38235
@juicysmith38235 10 ай бұрын
Shame for what? Wanting a healthy marriage? The husband's 1st family attempt didn't work out. The cord has to be cut, you can't coddle children & not show them what a healthy separation & boundaries look like! If he coddles the children he'll destroy his 2nd marriage. The marriage is the foundation that holds together the new marriage!
@john1425
@john1425 10 ай бұрын
@@juicysmith38235 no your 100% wrong. Did you lisen to what John said??? Your personal insecurity is not a justification for trying to keep children from spending time with their parents. Parentd are supposed to put theor children first but this seems like a foreign concept to you.
@lela888
@lela888 8 ай бұрын
Be ashamed for what? I would say the same thing to him
@john1425
@john1425 8 ай бұрын
@@lela888 I hope you dont have children if you don't understand. The right thing to do is not get into this relationship if you can't handle it. Not expect him to put you before his children. This makes you a bad person.
@oncetwice5942
@oncetwice5942 Жыл бұрын
Tbh, I don’t think her marriage will last. Her jealousy will cost the marriage.
@Kwildcat13
@Kwildcat13 Жыл бұрын
Yeah she shouldn’t have married him if she couldn’t handle the ex being around .. that’s what happens when they share kids , what does this women expect
@jeromehenry4484
@jeromehenry4484 Жыл бұрын
I'll be surprised if she makes it to 2nd anniversary.
@susancross5192
@susancross5192 Жыл бұрын
No, His Mr. innocent act will. If these women became friends the drama would end and what fun would that be ?
@dantoinettetaylor1663
@dantoinettetaylor1663 Жыл бұрын
@@susancross5192 I think you made a good point here
@susancross5192
@susancross5192 Жыл бұрын
@@dantoinettetaylor1663 Thank you!
@amandasnow4434
@amandasnow4434 3 ай бұрын
Idk…I think these ex wives think they can leave their husbands but still have them on plug and play to meet their emotional needs under the umbrella of “co-parenting”. I don’t think we should dismiss our gut instincts about a situation.
@dianagabriela3287
@dianagabriela3287 Жыл бұрын
Wow. So they were co-parenting wonderfully, which is probably rare... and she come and says no no no, my comfort before the wellbeing of your kids!! Ugh.
@crzyruskie86
@crzyruskie86 Жыл бұрын
Yeah its seriously gross. She was trying to justify it the whole time too.
@PerShawn
@PerShawn 2 ай бұрын
The hardest thing is, trying to explain the damage a divorce does to a selfish person. He and the ex wife should probably still be together. Either the ex wife or the husband is selfish. Divorce literally makes marriage POINTLESS. Why marry if you will opt out when it gets hard.
@kaylacombs6254
@kaylacombs6254 Ай бұрын
No, that's not appropriate for exes to do that. Especially knowing that she still wanted to have a relationship. Sounds like the ex is butthurt that the new girlfriend is wedging between the two of them. That's why she's acting childish now. Because she knows she can't see him more
@karlie9590
@karlie9590 Жыл бұрын
She is damaging her step kids because she’s insecure. Imagine how beautiful it is to be able to co parent and be a team for the sake of the kids and then have someone come in and single handedly destroy relationships instead of being an awesome bonus mom. This makes me sick for the kids.
@TheSunshinefee
@TheSunshinefee Жыл бұрын
no, he should have stayed married to his ex-wife if he wants to play happy family with her while also being married to his new life. you can't have both, a new wife and your emotional ex-wife. choose one.
@shirleypena4133
@shirleypena4133 Жыл бұрын
@Karlie It's hard to say, because we have no way of knowing if the guy's ex-wife welcomes the new wife to be part of the countless events that he, his ex and their children enjoy together. Does his ex-wife expect him to come to her home to celebrate Christmas WITHOUT his current wife? Does his ex-wife expect him to attend EVERY birthday party for his children WITHOUT his current wife? Trust me, for a current wife to NOT be allowed to be there with her husband while he continues his life as if he is still married to his first wife, it's anything but a "beautiful" experience. We also have no idea if the children are treating the current wife with the RESPECT she deserves, and that goes double for his ex-wife.
@shirleypena4133
@shirleypena4133 Жыл бұрын
@@TheSunshinefee I agree 100%! 👍
@terriesmith2616
@terriesmith2616 Жыл бұрын
She's insecure and controlling because none of her kids are from the current husband. All of her daughters are from her ex. She wants her current husband to be a step father to all her kids but not to his own kid. She's the villain in this story. The evil step mom and she doesn't even realize it.
@edithandlez
@edithandlez Жыл бұрын
That relationship was destroyed when they decided to get a divorce 😂 cute try trying to blame other people for your marriage falling apart. Bitter ex wives are such pick me’s
@haleytruslow7200
@haleytruslow7200 Жыл бұрын
I am 2 minutes in. There is no such thing as co parenting “too well.” I am a child of a nasty divorce and I can feel myself getting very pissed off lol
@thembisaodendaal
@thembisaodendaal Жыл бұрын
Its really annoying when suddenly they want to be adults when they failed to take responsibility and actually stay married...please stop
@ecclairmayo4153
@ecclairmayo4153 3 ай бұрын
It's so upsetting that she WANTS them to hate each other and we are so used to dysfunction that we don't believe there is such thing as co parenting well unless something Sha is going on.
@mariannepfly1906
@mariannepfly1906 3 ай бұрын
Same here. So few parents manage it and this couple had managed it. And this new wife comes in and wants to spoil it because she’s so insecure.
@taloulaskitchen
@taloulaskitchen Жыл бұрын
Sounds like she's jealous of the husband's relationship for sure!
@beatdown3361
@beatdown3361 Жыл бұрын
Oh ya
@SL-ud7tf
@SL-ud7tf Жыл бұрын
And she's immature and insecure. Sadly this migh not last or it be difficult long ride
@tarsi00
@tarsi00 Жыл бұрын
I wish the husband would stand his ground and continue to coparent in their normal way while trying to make her feel comfortable. My dad ALWAYS chose his new wife or gf over us and guess what they’re all gone now and here me and my sister are…. Still here but damaged.
@Ryan-wx1bi
@Ryan-wx1bi 8 ай бұрын
Same exact thing happened with my "dad". Stopped going to my sporting events, but showed up to his new wife's kids stuff. Those kids are lucky to have parents that prioritize them over some petty BS. Took me a long time to realize my dad was a loser simp
@ecclairmayo4153
@ecclairmayo4153 3 ай бұрын
Exactly. Kids shoukd not be affected by their parents love lives
@kt3184
@kt3184 Ай бұрын
Girl: dont let her see you sweat! It will die down after she sees she can’t shake you!
@linhaton4957
@linhaton4957 Жыл бұрын
There is no us. You are NOT his kids mother. You are hurting his kids. He should have not remarried.
@terriesmith2616
@terriesmith2616 Жыл бұрын
100% agreed with you. He remarried to the wrong woman. She's immature, selfish, and insecure. She's damaging his relationship with his own child simply because she feels uncomfortable.
@classy4ever63
@classy4ever63 24 күн бұрын
Yet woman can remarry and move on but men can't just because they have kids from a previous relationship? Men are not allowed boundaries and kept on a short leash just because of an ex wife. They're now an ex. They lost that provilage when they broke the family structure. Not the step mom
@midishh
@midishh 3 ай бұрын
My parents aren't divorced but from what I have seen from kids who are, the ones that grow up well centered are the ones whose parents and stepparents had a good relationship
@cm5394
@cm5394 Жыл бұрын
The term co-parenting is a joke. Your family is broken.
@SL-ud7tf
@SL-ud7tf Жыл бұрын
Sounds like they didn't discuss or plan much before getting married. He has history and kids with the ex wife, that means many years of blended family life. If I knew that his ex wife wanted him back a few months before/after we got together, it would probably bother me, which is why maybe she's also jealous. I could be wrong, but personally I would have backed off or take my time, because it's not worth rushing to marry and be miserable, especially with kids relying on me.
@ecclairmayo4153
@ecclairmayo4153 3 ай бұрын
This is how I see it too. The moment she said that, I thought maybe she shouldn't have married him.
@stephaniemiddleton3740
@stephaniemiddleton3740 Ай бұрын
He is probably a stable kinda guy and her having been married previously to somebody bipolar that she can’t count on, she probably craved the security of this man and overlooked the ex-wife as a potential issue.
@MuzzyBarker
@MuzzyBarker Ай бұрын
Sounds like they did, and now they're suffering the consequences of her stupid plans.
@funicon3689
@funicon3689 3 ай бұрын
divorce is a serious problem in this society
@fauxbro1983
@fauxbro1983 Жыл бұрын
Lol every step parent hates "co-parenting"
@bffoxjr
@bffoxjr Жыл бұрын
I think it's a lizard brain biological imperative we're trying to get people to overwrite.
@randyadams1312
@randyadams1312 Жыл бұрын
Probably because when they try to parent they’re told “don’t do that, you’re not the parent” and when they don’t it’s “where were you?!”. I’m just guessing, but they probably don’t win.
@susancross5192
@susancross5192 Жыл бұрын
I`ve noticed when men are married they largely ignore the kids and let mom handle anything having to do with the kids. But after divorce suddenly take a huge interest in ``the kids`` when they get an opportunity to spend time with their exes. If they did`nt ``co parent`` in the marriage then they`re just using the kids as a link to the ex.
@Heidishereandthere
@Heidishereandthere 2 ай бұрын
The step parent here is not a step parent; first off. If the other parent is still LIVING... this woman is nothing to his children! Their fathers wife is all she is to them. Now, if she were a true step parent, meaning those childrens mother is DEAD, then thats a different situation.
@joshuagray5094
@joshuagray5094 2 ай бұрын
@@Heidishereandtherethis is an incredibly unhealthy take
@aleishaj8
@aleishaj8 2 ай бұрын
Thats why the boundaries have to be there BEFORE you get involved..you will always be seen as the issue if his dealings with the ex change once you were in the picture. I'm a step mom and I've always said I never wanted to be one and one of the things that helped is that my husband and his ex have very GOOD boundaries...wasn't no vacations and family dinners happening before I came along and certainly weren't gonna start when me and him got together. Blending is hard enough i refuse to compete with an ex. If they still wanted to have family dinners and go on vactions together, it would have meant he wasn't my person because thats not how I want my partner to deal with an ex..children involved or not 🤷🏾‍♀️ She was uncomfortable for two years and saw this man relationship with the children dissolve once she came into the picture and still chose to marry him. I just don't understand that. They weren't a good fit he needed someone who would have been okay with his already set up arrangement and someone with a similar arrangement with their own ex probably would have been a better fit because at this point she ruined the core relationship in the children's lives and they will spend more money in therapy and court with her name being dragged through the mud then she can ever imagine...smh Unfortunately I don't really see this going well for her the marriage or the children. If my partner told me that just 2 months prior to us meeting she was still trying to get him back it would have been a red flag to me because that tells u right there the boundaries were murky...like why did she think that was something even possible? Probably because they were "getting along sooo well" for the kids 😒
@d53380
@d53380 Ай бұрын
This. This is the real issue. They were never compatible to begin with. And part of it has to do with the caller not knowing or understanding what she wants in a relationship BEFORE she got in one. Now she’s in a relationship dynamic that has always existed but she doesn’t want. And instead of being strong and standing for what she wanted in the beginning (I.e learning to walk away if it doesn’t serve you), she’s trying to change things to her liking (on the sly) now that she’s gotten the ring. These two were never compatible. The caller should never have (pretended to) settled for less than she wanted just to get a ring. She should have walked away from the beginning.
@David-wo9un
@David-wo9un Жыл бұрын
She doesn’t care what’s best for the kids; she is behaving like a selfish child.
@brendaleverick3655
@brendaleverick3655 2 ай бұрын
It sounds like the ex-wife may still have a piece of her ex-husband's heart.
@ladycactus110
@ladycactus110 Ай бұрын
Makes you wonder why they divorced.
@brendaleverick3655
@brendaleverick3655 Ай бұрын
@@ladycactus110 Yes, it does.
@pee74332
@pee74332 Ай бұрын
They probably rushed to divorce when their issues could have been resolved with counseling, open communication, forgiveness, and compromise. A little distance can give a different perspective. I think this woman needs to step away from this relationship. She cannot and should not spend her energy to change their dynamic. Unfortunately she is going to be alone at the end either way. She needs to walk away before she looses too much of herself.
@MMPM5870
@MMPM5870 Ай бұрын
And she is just pushing them together for sure! Honestly, I am in favour of family sticking together, so, if possible, I hope he gets back with his former wife and work things out because there is love there.
@dianeditonno3569
@dianeditonno3569 17 күн бұрын
​@@MMPM5870Is his X remarried? If so, why wish such Trauma on 2 families. If the X wife has not remarried, it explains alot.
@primabellas6856
@primabellas6856 Жыл бұрын
My ex and I both came from broken homes with parents who avoided each other as much as they could. When we divorced we decided that, no matter what, we were going to wish the best for each other and we were going to show our kids how mature adults behave when a relationship doesn't work out. We remained friends and took the kids to pumpkin patches, movies, lunches, we celebrated several birthdays and holidays together when we were both still single. I admit that my friendship with my ex has caused me to end some relationships because I was committed to prioritizing the mental health of my children. Our kids are now grown and we've both been able to be there for them through the good times and the bad. My ex's step dad died 12 years ago and his mom died last month. I attended both funerals and got to hold and comfort my children through some of their hardest times. I feel very blessed that I don't have to miss out on the big moments in their lives. I wonder if the caller is more jealous that her husband's kids are blessed with two loving, nurturing parents and she and her ex couldn't figure out how to make that happen? It's got to be hard for her to know her children are hurting while his kids get a more whole family. That probably feels "unfair" and she may even feel shame that she couldn't make that happen for her girls. Hopefully, she gets counseling so she can heal and not inflict pain onto her step-children.
@haleytruslow7200
@haleytruslow7200 Жыл бұрын
Your kids are so lucky, I wish every divorced couple would put their kids’ needs first. Wow
@primabellas6856
@primabellas6856 Жыл бұрын
@@haleytruslow7200 - Aww. Thank you! ❤ If more people realized how much they miss by being angry or bitter vs how much they gain by being gracious and working together, they wouldn't do it any other way. Being civilized adults has paid dividends for us both.
@whitneyw.7919
@whitneyw.7919 Жыл бұрын
She's jealous/irritated because the ex is more like a sister wife than an ex
@rarebird_82
@rarebird_82 2 ай бұрын
Shes 100% jealous and its eating her. Sucks to be the caller 😮‍💨
@whitneyw.7919
@whitneyw.7919 Жыл бұрын
Stepfamilies make marriage vows useless.. things like "forsake all others" etc. Then society throws stones at the stepparent not the other party who made marriage vows yet still divides themself for other parties to be satisfied. The reality is you can't divorce then create a "new" family, just doesn't work that way. childbearing brings a lot of baggage if you leave your marriage
@liveinms9949
@liveinms9949 8 ай бұрын
sounds like they needed marriage counseling instead of divorce
@jpondarun
@jpondarun Жыл бұрын
Hear me out: Why didn't she tell her husband/fiancé about all the debt? Why would she be mad if the ex wife told her husband about debt he already knew about?
@youngsimba7135
@youngsimba7135 Жыл бұрын
She never said she didn’t tell her husband about her debt. Her debt is none of the Exs business to be honest, and to try and throw her under the bus? Very childish knowing the husband is a Ramsey guy.
@jpondarun
@jpondarun Жыл бұрын
@@youngsimba7135 If she told her husband about her debt, why is she so upset about the ex running a background check and finding out? The ew wife has every right to run a background check around someone who is going to be around/living with her daughters. Part of running a background check is finding out someone's credit and debt, if the ex told the husband and the husband already knew, why would this woman be so upset about it? She wouldn't be so upset and say its out of bounds unless she was hiding something.
@primabellas6856
@primabellas6856 Жыл бұрын
@@youngsimba7135 - She sounds like a good mom who loves her family. I don't see anything wrong with her getting credit/debt information. It can tell you a lot about a person's maturity and responsibility. It would create undo hardship on her children if the new wife was the type of person who spent lavishly on herself but never paid her bills.
@NeuroSeasoned
@NeuroSeasoned Жыл бұрын
@@jpondarun the debt was revealed to the caller's then-boyfriend (now husband) early in the relationship while they were dating. The ex (sensibly) did a background check on the "new girlfriend".
@amandaforrester7636
@amandaforrester7636 Жыл бұрын
She said that was in the first few months of dating. How quickly do you tell a new person something like that? I sure don't go on a first date and talk about my childhood trauma. Certain things start to unfold naturally.
@cidk59
@cidk59 Ай бұрын
This is my favorite episode to date... I know Im late to the party, but I feel like you cut away all of the background noise and just went for the heart of the issue. There was so much more here, than just this woman feeling jealous or uncomfortable with her husbands ex wife, and it felt like you very clearly brought her around to the underbelly of what was really going on. So well done, so much potential for life changing healing if she grabs on to your words and runs with what you've given her. What an amazing blessing!!!! Thank you Dr John!
@alinegutierrez
@alinegutierrez 2 ай бұрын
I wouldn’t want to be a step parent, it sounds awful.
@gabriellarico7266
@gabriellarico7266 3 ай бұрын
I’m new to co-parenting. We do our absolute best to do things together with our child because she likes spending time with both of us. Eventually we will have new relationships and this is part of my package deal. I would also hope that any new relationship with their own ex spouse and kids would have a good co-parenting relationship with their ex-spouse. Caller needs to choose not to give the ex-wife so much space in her head, it will give her so much peace.
@Cymricus
@Cymricus 2 ай бұрын
i can tell this is the type of woman who gets triggered as soon as somebody pushes back on her behavior and doesn’t fall into the gossip
@tonyamoore9962
@tonyamoore9962 Жыл бұрын
The caller was immature. When the husband disclosed that his ex wife wanted him back 2 months before they started dating she should have stopped dating him and found someone else. She literally disrupted these people's kids lives. The co-patenting was healthy but bc she is jealous and immature the kids miss out on enjoying a family unit with their parents.
@scoobie8amg
@scoobie8amg Жыл бұрын
Yes exactly!
@sweetstorm7652
@sweetstorm7652 Жыл бұрын
Also why did he even feel the need to mention that…
@josephinenelan4204
@josephinenelan4204 Жыл бұрын
I feel bad for the kids in this situation. She KNEW about this woman! She even has her own kids with someone else! Edit: 1:43 THEN comment. This woman had great obvious red flags, knew she didn't like it, and jumped in. Comment after listening to that part.
@shirleypena4133
@shirleypena4133 Жыл бұрын
@Josephine Nelan In all probability, the current wife did not know that her husband's ex-wife expects him to carry on as if the two of them are still married. Most people have no idea of the family dynamics between their spouse, his ex-wife and their children until AFTER they are married. As for the fact that the caller has children from her former husband, SO WHAT? The caller's ex-husband is not involved whatsoever in the life of the caller or the children they had together, so it DOES NOT affect family dynamics between the caller and her husband.
@josephinenelan4204
@josephinenelan4204 Жыл бұрын
@@shirleypena4133 Did you miss the part where she said the man informed her his ex liked him? As if that wasn't a red flag she would be a "problem", and if she had no idea about the visitation dynamics, then they got married too soon. I have two step parents, both knew about the visitation schedules before saying "I do" to my parents. As for kids, "So what?" Um, if the parents are amiable in front of kids, I can near guarantee they prefer that. And since she has her own, regardless of the ex husband, you would think she would have an understanding or be sympathetic of how tough it can be to be a kid in a blended household. When you marry with kids already involved, you HAVE to ask those hard questions and be observant, and it is your fault if you fail to! I don't care if you disagree. Call me biased 🤷‍♀️
@TheSunshinefee
@TheSunshinefee Жыл бұрын
treat your ex-wife like your ex and don't play family with her, otherwise he should have stayed married to her. his new wife has the right not to like this. she needs to be number one in his life, not his ex. you can celebrate Christmas without the ex! let the kids join the family, and next day send them to the mum or otherwise
@josephinenelan4204
@josephinenelan4204 Жыл бұрын
@@TheSunshinefee 1:43 nuff said. She KNEW WELL AHEAD of marrying this guy what was going on and still dove in.
@TheSunshinefee
@TheSunshinefee Жыл бұрын
@@josephinenelan4204 doesn't matter. the new wife comes first.
@sellmav
@sellmav Ай бұрын
She is exactly the kind of woman I prayed my ex husband wouldn’t end up with. Thank God he married a stable, kind, reasonable woman and we all get along.
@BlessedbytheKingofKings
@BlessedbytheKingofKings Жыл бұрын
You should’ve thought of that before you said I do. So now suck it up or get divorced.
@bffoxjr
@bffoxjr Жыл бұрын
Facts. It's why my number 1 rule of dating is "no single moms". I don't want to deal with your baby daddy.
@taloulaskitchen
@taloulaskitchen Жыл бұрын
My rule when I was single, more than a carry-on is too much baggage. No baby mama's. It's too familiar and easy to slide back in (literally).
@melaniemorales33
@melaniemorales33 Жыл бұрын
You sound like a bitter baby mom 😂😂😂😂 girl seek therapy
@RD-pl7zu
@RD-pl7zu Жыл бұрын
Wrong
@NnoxLupus
@NnoxLupus Жыл бұрын
It seems like she’s projecting her past trauma from her childhood and last marriage on to this situation. Maybe perhaps her ex husband being the way he was is causing her jealousy about the ex wife and her husband’s relationship. John, I loved your response to it by making her confront her issues.
@TheSunshinefee
@TheSunshinefee Жыл бұрын
that's why u have to investigate how a man is with his ex. if yo don't like it, let him go. i wouldn't like it either that exes want to celebrate Christmas together. if you want to be a family so much, they should have stayed together.
@thembisaodendaal
@thembisaodendaal Жыл бұрын
This is complicated but completely share the sentiment that they should have stayed together because it's weird to try play happy families when there's other people involved and also very damaging to the kids because kids always want their parents together so it can be misleading and confusing for them
@whitneyw.7919
@whitneyw.7919 Жыл бұрын
I agree, it's really strange when people are close, peaceful co-parents yet decided to blow their kids lives up w/ divorce presumably just because they wanted to.
@RD-pl7zu
@RD-pl7zu Жыл бұрын
Exactly!
@stevendavis5095
@stevendavis5095 4 ай бұрын
@@whitneyw.7919so the idea of people being better apart then together isn’t something you can fathom? Your idea of family sounds very singular and dictatorial. For a second place woman she has a lot of nerve lmao.
@ecclairmayo4153
@ecclairmayo4153 3 ай бұрын
​​@@whitneyw.7919- What if a husband cheats on the wife or vice versa? Is the innocent party purposely blown up the family dynamic? No. They did nothing wrong, amd they didnt want to, but the other person forced them into a divorce. They can still be friends or cordial with one another and c patent peacefully. Its just there is no romantic relationship.
@jennasittler3142
@jennasittler3142 Жыл бұрын
I don’t think this woman is crazy for wanting her own life with her husband with their kids. What the heck?? Family dinners and vacations with the ex?? No- school and sports related, joint bdays for the kids. Why still play happy famolu with the ex it’s so weird and confusing for everyone
@sydguitar99
@sydguitar99 Жыл бұрын
Bc like John said, they will always have that bond and kids that grow up seeing their parents spite each other, end up becoming like the woman who is calling in the video.
@lks6248
@lks6248 10 ай бұрын
They aren’t all her kids though they might be all his. Some of them already have a mother and it isn’t her!
@GameChanger597
@GameChanger597 9 ай бұрын
@jenna I completely agree with you! Dr. John is acting weird about this one. What woman on planet Earth should be expected to spend holidays and vacations with their new husband's ex-wife. If I didn't know any better I'd think he was gaslighting her bc what he's saying is crazy talk and completely opposite of what he's told other people in the same situation. This episode is straight out of the Twilight Zone🤨
@muirgirl
@muirgirl 6 ай бұрын
@@GameChanger597A good mature woman. Thats who.
@stevendavis5095
@stevendavis5095 4 ай бұрын
@@GameChanger597the woman who decided to be with a man with kids!!!! wtf lmao are you dumb. If you’re a jealous lonely cat sitter just say that. Stop tryna remove accountability. This lady is being a tyrant. Period
@abizar3660
@abizar3660 2 ай бұрын
I had to have a serious conversation with my husband around co-parenting. Mainly bc he also felt like something might still be there. Which is interesting, as i only reach out when it has to do with the girls. Co-parenting takes work, and it's for the kids. So my husband had to see it for himself, he finally told me he heard stories about exes getting back with their baby daddys. As a partner, I have to show my husband that its not in any way going to be like that and to not make him feel insecure. So yes, our partners need to know that co-parenting is very much important, but we (the parents) need to make sure our partners feel secure.
@hillarybillary21
@hillarybillary21 2 ай бұрын
Y’all are wrong about this one. Why would my husband need to bring his ex wife on a trip to Jamaica with us and the kids for everyone to have a good co parenting relationship? 😂 that’s just silly. I’ve always believed that where people prioritize who’s “comfortable”, that will tell you everything you need to know about their true desires. You can ABSOLUTELY have separate holidays and vacations and still be friendly at school events and birthdays 😂. You can even be friends and help each other out with pick ups from school etc., and still have separate lives. The bigger question is why is this husband choosing the comfort of his ex over the comfort of his current wife. If my husband said that he needed to vacation with his ex wife for the kids sake I’d laugh in his face and let him know that I’m breaking up with him for the kids sake. get tf outta here 🤣🤣🤣
@user-cq1en7td4h
@user-cq1en7td4h 2 ай бұрын
The ex wife has a right to parent her children…
@catherinn.951
@catherinn.951 11 ай бұрын
I think this time, dr John had a narrative in his head that he forced onto her. She isn’t competing with the mother of his kids. She is trying to navigate her marriage and his relationship with his ex wife. She mentioned she wanted to get back with him and he said no, yet he asked if she is jealous. As any woman, you would be more alert of what is going on when they meet and why she is trying so hard to keep those activities together.
@crystalwhithaus4722
@crystalwhithaus4722 10 ай бұрын
I agree, my husbands ex and I aren’t besties but we are civil. She never tried to het back together with my husband. I don’t care what trauma you’ve had, if it heard the ex tried to get back with my now husband and then played house even after he said no - I would be concerned too. Then again I would not have gotten married if that was the case.
@Nah-ah
@Nah-ah Жыл бұрын
Marrying into another family comes with a lot of issues! This is what happened when my mum remarried to someone who had kids as well. Us kids didn’t want to be around either families. Not an easy situation and the kids can suffer! Good luck to all involved!
@greenthumbstrummer
@greenthumbstrummer 8 ай бұрын
Why didn't you want to be around either family. As a divorce dad with two girls I try so hard to do the right thing but it's almost impossible
@auemmjee
@auemmjee 8 ай бұрын
​@@greenthumbstrummerprobably cuz to children, a parent's new person of interest and their kids are just randoms...my parents went through MANY people of interest after their divorce. I didn't bond with any of those people or any of their kids. Doing the right thing as a divorcee with kids means focusing on your kids and not expecting them to form relationships with randoms who you happen to be fucking for the moment.
@Hatbox948
@Hatbox948 4 ай бұрын
I second that. Both my parents remarried after their divorce to partners with kids. It was hell.
@mercyogbee7077
@mercyogbee7077 Ай бұрын
​@@Hatbox948 And how that ended? Do u get along with your step brothers and sisters ?
@Hatbox948
@Hatbox948 Ай бұрын
@@mercyogbee7077 No, it was difficult. Both my step mom and step dad had daughter's the same age as me. There was lots of competition, favoritism, etc. Plus, what with the other step siblings and my own, there was always tension and strife.
@RD-pl7zu
@RD-pl7zu Жыл бұрын
These comments are so harsh! Everyone needs to take a deep breath and have a little compassion. This woman sounds like she’s seen hell throughout her childhood. Plus I don’t blame her for not being a fan of spending holidays with her husbands ex… every woman wants to create memories with her family not tag along or be a plus one with your spouse and his ex…. She wasn’t wrong for sharing how she feels with her husband because THATS NOT NORMAL. On top of that the ex wife wanted him back so the ex was trying to still hang on to what was…. Mixed families are tough to navigate so let’s not put our noses in the air and Judge this woman so harshly.
@edithandlez
@edithandlez Жыл бұрын
Exactly! This whole comment section just reeks of “she’s wrong no matter what!” instead of “I appreciate her honesty”
@usulman8834
@usulman8834 Жыл бұрын
@@edithandlez The comments are harsh on every video where the caller is a stepmom. Being a stepmom is incredibly hard, and yet no one shows compassion to stepmoms! It breaks my heart.
@KatieLHall-fy1hw
@KatieLHall-fy1hw 9 ай бұрын
Comment section for this show is always harsh. Everyone makes things black and white constantly 😆
@GameChanger597
@GameChanger597 9 ай бұрын
Everyone's up in arms only bc Dr. John is a little irked by her feelings. The audience always copies what he says bc they can't think for themselves. But in all honesty, what normal woman wants to have Christmas at their new husbands ex-wife's house? Seriously wth?? Dr. John can't honestly expect her to be okay with that. It's weird what her husband and ex are doing and I don't blame her for how she feels nor do I think she should be expected to put up with it just bc Dr. John thinks she needs to adjust to their schedule. Thats crazy talk.
@Ryan-wx1bi
@Ryan-wx1bi 8 ай бұрын
Ah yes, putting your marriage first, before a child's well-being. How kind of you.
@coltonhess7883
@coltonhess7883 Жыл бұрын
I see that the caller is being petty about this, but I would be just as surprised about this coparenting situation as anyone else. My parents were divorced, never ever in a million years would they have a pumpkin patch day or birthday party together. A couple of sports meets sitting on opposite sides of the bleachers and a funeral is all they tolerated each other for. Seeing kids divorced parents that still tolerated each other tripped me out
@sydguitar99
@sydguitar99 Жыл бұрын
But that's what a proper coparenting situation should be
@Ryan-wx1bi
@Ryan-wx1bi 8 ай бұрын
Let me ask. How have your adult relationships been? Kids learn by example and seeing a healthy relationship between parents was weird to you.... Kinda telling
@mariannepfly1906
@mariannepfly1906 3 ай бұрын
But you’d have wished for it. Me too. It’s a sad waste of time to not manage things better.
@tiamarie3363
@tiamarie3363 6 ай бұрын
I completely disagree with him on this one.
@bcent5758
@bcent5758 2 ай бұрын
Why?
@andrea6053
@andrea6053 Жыл бұрын
Step parents need to know their place and understand they have no legal rights to the children. They are only there to be a support to their spouse, not interfere with coparenting that only happens between bio and adoptive parents.
@ithinkigottalent4047
@ithinkigottalent4047 Жыл бұрын
These are things about before getting married. You can't enter into this situation and be juvenile about it.
@Kwildcat13
@Kwildcat13 Жыл бұрын
That’s why divorce is so high people are dumb
@SL-ud7tf
@SL-ud7tf Жыл бұрын
Nedra 💯👍
@NnoxLupus
@NnoxLupus Жыл бұрын
Right. Like she married into this situation.. What did she think was going to happen? Lol.
@d53380
@d53380 Ай бұрын
The caller’s husband and his ex-wife are playing house. And instead of playing house within the bounds of a marriage, they’ve separated and added a third person (the caller) to this strange dynamic, who (rightfully) feels like a third wheel. The husband and the ex should have stayed married (or stayed single) if they were going to do this. Now this man has created a sister wife dynamic and that’s not what the caller signed up for.
@SuzanneQuew-vc4us
@SuzanneQuew-vc4us 10 күн бұрын
I think it’s already over…
@Hatbox948
@Hatbox948 4 ай бұрын
My daughter divorced over something like this. I tried to warn her about her future husband's ex, but she wouldn't listen. Then the ex wife bought a place 1/4 mile down the highway from them. She was constantly stopping by as she had a son with my daughter's new husband. Their marriage didn't last long.
@hikikomori5
@hikikomori5 7 ай бұрын
Basically caller doesn't have a proper coparent and never felt her or her kids were loved by her kid's father...she jealous. Period. I get it because I lived it. Get therapy and stick to it. I'm better, haven't felt jealously or vengeance in years.
@LL-pq5uo
@LL-pq5uo Ай бұрын
OMG, less than 10 minutes in and I LOVE that John is calling her out on EVERYTHING 🙂🙂🙂🙂
@marclou4228
@marclou4228 Жыл бұрын
It’s true this caller deserves grace. It’s also true she’s absolutely trippin
@lilithowl
@lilithowl 3 ай бұрын
Yes! Things are not simple.
@eltern_herz
@eltern_herz 3 ай бұрын
It is rarely the Co-Parenting situation per se. It is not having everybody in the right systemic spot. Meaning Ex is EX and no underlying flirting or someone hanging on to old feelings (having marriage photos still in new house). You can be totally over your Ex and still want the best for him/her and your Kid. When there is an elephant in the room, there might be something unspoken going on. Your partner needs to be more involved with you than with the Ex. As long as Exes are fighting, they are still emotionally attached. Being indifferent to your Ex or simply grateful for your child it is a good spot to start with new relationship.
@brianmcdonald7017
@brianmcdonald7017 Ай бұрын
Sounds like he should have stayed married to his first wife
@BhutanBluePoppy
@BhutanBluePoppy 2 ай бұрын
Wow I think Dr John is really good at seeing everyone’s point of view.
@Fadrowskis
@Fadrowskis Жыл бұрын
I have 4 girls, I feel super bad for this situation. This woman is insecure and a child. If she doesn’t get help she will destroy her family. Own it girl. Also Priorities.
@lauriehester357
@lauriehester357 2 ай бұрын
We have Christmas and thanksgiving at both of our exs homes. We all get along great!
@AnnaTodorova_piano
@AnnaTodorova_piano Ай бұрын
So why didn’t you all stay married in the first place if you get along all too well?
@lauriehester357
@lauriehester357 Ай бұрын
@@AnnaTodorova_piano no one got along as married couples. Now that no one lives together we’re fine 😂
@Irunwithscissors63
@Irunwithscissors63 2 ай бұрын
This woman didn’t like the parenting do split it up. Now she doesn’t like it now that it’s changed. This woman needs to grow the eff up.
@betbabe8222
@betbabe8222 6 ай бұрын
I usually agree with John, but I think he missed it on this one. This woman is being treated like the third wheel while her husband is playing peace keeper and giving his ex first priority. The ex is slinging zingers and playing head games with their kids because she can no longer play house with her former hubby. The caller is going to get burned following John's advice because you simply cannot negotiate with a terrorist. She will weaponize any vulnerability. Hubby is putting his current marriage in jeopardy instead of standing up for his current wife as a respected member of this blended family.
@jaclynh9343
@jaclynh9343 4 ай бұрын
Yup. There def needs to be boundaries between exes. If not they should have stayed married.
@laurao8099
@laurao8099 3 ай бұрын
I definitely think there's some truth to that because the husband told his current wife it wasn't a good idea for them to go out to eat and then told his ex-wife that he thought it was a great idea. I think part of what John is trying to do is help her realize that she does not have control of that situation. But this is a way the current wife can control things. He basically suggested killing her with kindness
@nbabombshell
@nbabombshell Жыл бұрын
Women married man that have kids . Like honey don't expect your life to be like two young people who have not been married before . This is totally different. Different everything is not ideal. I would not recommend , I would recommend trying to fix your marriage unless there is abuse or the other person really refuses to , and if you go into another marriage just don't think it's will be normal
@Kwildcat13
@Kwildcat13 Жыл бұрын
Exactly
@whitneyw.7919
@whitneyw.7919 Жыл бұрын
Wow great advice! Think about 100x over before creating a blended family. Most are not aware of how difficult and usually inner peace destroying blended families can be and often are!
@veeno3983
@veeno3983 Жыл бұрын
Great call Deloney
@mariannepfly1906
@mariannepfly1906 3 ай бұрын
New wife screws up the team then wants it her way. Weird!!! What a shame new wife has done this. I get her urge but I also feel like she’s ruined the good vibes that were going and now wants them all to pretend she didn’t ruin it and they should play HAPPILY. AS. A. TEAM. Sad for kids.
@dianac6250
@dianac6250 Жыл бұрын
Lady you knew what you were getting into. You are ruining your step kids lives. They deserve to have two present parents.
@cm5394
@cm5394 Жыл бұрын
That’s the fault of the parents who broke their family
@terriesmith2616
@terriesmith2616 Жыл бұрын
All the step child will understand is that this caller came in and broke up the team. The step child deserves a better step mom. She's actively trying to ruin her husband's relationship with his child, all because she feels uncomfortable, insecure, controlling, selfish, and her own childhood trauma.
@usulman8834
@usulman8834 Жыл бұрын
You, like many other former stepchildren, need to grow up and understand that the only people responsible for the breakdown of your family are your parents themselves.
@usulman8834
@usulman8834 8 ай бұрын
@@Kathydawn25 So what? They still weren’t the one to break their family.
@deepalil1085
@deepalil1085 Ай бұрын
They aren't married anymore. They are a team with new partners.
@Twestliw
@Twestliw Жыл бұрын
This women is very immature - and that’s all she can control. That’s were her opportunity and peace willl come working on emotionally growing up. And stop acting like the kid when there are actual kids at stake. Break the cycle queen. Be healthy for you and those girls.
@analola2398
@analola2398 Жыл бұрын
This is just sad. She literally ruined a great co-parenting relationship and for what? Because her own ex has nothing to do with their children? So because she doesn’t have a good co-parenting relationship her step children’s parent can’t either girl what 🙄. I wish her the best in healing her trauma though.
@Berryandmango
@Berryandmango Ай бұрын
Absolutely wonderful Dr John.
@alqoshgirl
@alqoshgirl 5 ай бұрын
The amount of ways people mess up their lives is astonishing to me. You put yourself in this situation and are dragging 5 innocent children into this mess🤦🏻‍♀️ you can only guess how these kids will turn out
@eedwards4603
@eedwards4603 2 ай бұрын
Almost every war is over possessions and territory. She was first, he loved her first, she had him first, those are their children. This will never change.
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