I Don’t Like My Boyfriend’s Kids (Should I Stay With Him?)

I Don’t Like My Boyfriend’s Kids (Should I Stay With Him?)
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[@rebeccabamford5505]

This woman stated she doesn’t want kids. The man has kids. End of story. Move on Ashley.

[@pamelatd]

If he's absent guess who will be raising the kids while they're at his house? YOU. Move on. This isn't what you want and it isn't fair to the kids.

[@mimimonster]

I couldn’t have said it better myself!

[@SL-ud7tf]

Yep and at 4:15 she's determined to carry on even though she's anti kids! John's silent pause said a lot!

[@LucaB0830]

I don’t care for my partners 42 year old daughter. But she’s an adult and lives in another state)thank goodness 🙄🙄🙄🙄 Always angry at the world, eternal victim 🙄 I see why her husband left her. I told him I don’t even want her coming around. You wanna see her? Go see her at Starbucks somewhere. I refuse to allow her drama and full blown toxicity into our home. She’s still bitter that they divorced when she was two. I’m thinking she needs a new therapist 🤷‍♀️

[@aprilchow-chee5281]

Children feed off of the energy of their parents if you don't like his daughter I'm guessing he bugs your nerve too or will eventually

[@churrymurray]

Yuuuuup.

[@jasmynmadison5984]

So she’s dating a married, absent father? What a trash situation. Goodness. 🤦🏾‍♀️

[@1trompet146]

My blood is boiling. These poor children are not difficult or the problem. The adults are the problem.

[@Lil-Whiskies]

All of them.

[@donnaw2868]

Right. It's not all about Ashley although she can't see it.

[@racheleisele]

Holy moly... 3 mins in and this woman has already unashamedly admitted to being in a relationship with a married man, spoken poorly about his kids and their mother, and appears to not be bothered by the fact that this man is an absent father... the sooner this lady realizes she is the problem, the better!

[@om617yota7]

They've been separate for two years. A piece of paper in some government office somewhere doesn't mean a thing.

[@santafilipina9020]

@@om617yota7 A piece of paper in some government office somewhere doesn't mean a thing TO YOU. The piece of paper has implications -- like it or not.

[@erikak128]

@@om617yota7 The paper might not mean anything but the mess he's refusing to handle does. Not to mention the confusion and disfunction he's putting these kids through. Of course the caller is going to have a hard go of it being in these kid's life (if she plans on staying with this man). For one he's still married, still has a foot in the marriage and one foot out with the separation. And two, she doesn't want to be a step mom. It's a package deal, even if he were to finalize the divorce. Which for a meaningless piece of paper, he still won't bring himself to do it after what sounds like almost 4 years.

[@FTG2Eli]

Totally agree............

[@lot2196]

I agree 100% I'd run.

[@om617yota7]

Kids aren't a part of your life plan. Kids are in his life plan. There's your answer.

[@zahraawolowo6506]

So

[@puclopuclik4108]

​@@zahraawolowo6506Their life plans are incompatible. They should split.

[@kristin55watson]

A four year old who's parents split up when he was only two years old is not a difficult child,he is a child going through something that is very difficult and has three adults who are failing him and not recognizing that he needs to feel secure in order to grow.

[@krissybee2484]

Yeah don’t date anyone with kids if you can’t handle what comes with it. The lack of empathy

[@wittysass3812]

Absolutely hate it when adults say “he/she is a bad child”. The child is behaving badly because you are a bad parent!

[@mustangthings]

Don’t get involved in someone with kids unless you are ok with being a step parent.

[@Sophie3647s]

In today's age there so many single men and women without children that it doesn't make sense for either people looking for partners to consider such a person bc there always in contact with their previous partner. Who wants to share a partner?

[@jordanferguson2254]

Sophie3647s, Yeah, I always think about the idea of sloppy seconds, or, being a rebound or last resort. Might sound harsh, but honest, people who didn't care to be discerning, aware, cautious, rational, etc. should be with their own kind. And people should stop collecting other people's karma like boy scout badges. Stay clean and moral and notice the lack of stress and decay in your life.

[@bheard2334]

Yes!!!

[@karencorcoran2198]

My bf has kids I just want my bf to myself but when I want to chat to my bf I can’t coz his daughter is there next him she’s really clingy to him she tries to push me aside 😢

[@alluringbliss4165]

@@karencorcoran2198hopefully, you’ll think of what is best for the child

[@9liveslisa]

My wicked stepmother took over my father's life. My mother died one year after the divorce and the kids got stuck with a father and stepmother who did NOT want the kids. It ruined all 4 of our lives. It was horrendous. Please don't marry a married man who has kids especially if you don't like kids. You will be ruining lives. Don't do it please! Every married man who is wooing a single woman is a selfish SOB. Sorry, that's how I feel and I've lived it. The kids paid the price for their happiness and we all left home early so we could get the hell out of there. I left at 15. Think about the kids instead of yourselves.

[@angeleyes3396]

My mom’s stepmother was wicked too. My grandfather remarried 3 mos after my grandmother’s death (My mom was 16). She caused hell and havoc all of his life. Left him months before he died. Drove him mad!! Luckily his children pulled together and got him in the right headspace so he could leave this earth peacefully.

[@lifeisbeautiful9455]

Wow… same! But it was my father. I left while in high school after my mom passed.

[@natekidren]

Yes to this a thousand times.

[@romancewriter6296]

Yep: my husband'm mom is the wicked stepmother in this situation. She hated her step-daughter and made that girl's life a living hell every time she came to see her dad. Treated her own children wonderfully but locked up stepdaughter outside while he was away (presumably with another mistress). She's still toxic AF and I keep her far away from our kids and family. It takes a cold hearted person not to love a child.

[@user-ii7dc7cb9l]

It's interesting how quickly fther with discard children for a new penis cozy

[@EJaj1623]

How can a woman see a man be a bad father, choosing to be absent, and then decide yeah I want that man… this lady has her answer. I never planned to be a step mom, so don’t be! Those kids are not going away. And if he abandons them then he’s a crappy person.

[@hollystiener16]

Because there are other things about him that are really good for her. They probably have chemistry, a good connection, fun together, friendship, he listens to her, etc.

[@aprilchow-chee5281]

​@Holly Stiener that will die out soon it always does

[@jordanferguson2254]

@Holly, *that she in her delusion, ignorance or immaturity thinks are good for her*. Corrected it (⁠~⁠‾⁠▿⁠‾⁠)⁠~

[@CrystalM1917]

So what. He is a package deal. She is optional. The kids aren't.

[@bigmama818]

All day long .

[@murraybeachtel8585]

Innocent children are the casualties of adult decisions. You can hear in her voice and words she is shifting her guilt onto the children for their “difficult behaviors”. They are kids. You are an adult. Go find a single man without kids or learn to be happy by yourself. Please.

[@abbyxiong3931]

Thank you for speaking light.

[@karenostrander1539]

This is a woman who has never learned to be alone and she's afraid. She needs to find the courage to learn to be OK with just herself.

[@cabayern9416]

He may be good in the sack and tells her what she wants to hear.

[@GoKU-xx2vg]

Surprised JD did not pick up on this.

[@rabbitholegirl1]

Exactly

[@BlackStump172]

I don’t understand people who cannot be alone , especially after toxic relationships.

[@haleytruslow7200]

Lady are you serious? Be an adult and end this relationship. Stop making these childrens’ lives harder. You don’t want them, and they don’t want you. If I were the wife, I would be LIVID at hearing this woman describe my 4 year old son who’s parents are going through a messy divorce as “difficult.” YOU are difficult. JESUS

[@GhislaineMutombo]

Misery truly seeks misery, she's not even embarrassed enough to make this call. 🫤

[@theronbassett5505]

Haley keeps it real 😂

[@murraybeachtel8585]

100% accurate god I hate when adults make stupid choices the children are casualties and then the children are wrongly held morally culpable by the fools making the decisions.

[@usulman8834]

If you were the wife, I hope you'd put that child through therapy/give them extra quality time and care/make sure that he's being parented properly. If your sole reaction would be to be "livid", you're no better than her.

[@haleytruslow7200]

@@usulman8834 And the award for internet idiot who can’t read goes to… 🏆

[@dpborn2721]

Never date a man who’s still married, I don’t care how long they’ve been separated. He’s STILL MARRIED!!! My coworker went through this, no plans of reconciliation he went and knocked up someone else, then he and the wife worked it out. Decade later he barely has a relationship with the second kid, the wife resents him, their teenager is an understandable jerk to them both. And he thinks he’s the one stuck in the middle because his wife and baby mama dislike each other and make things tough on him instead of taking responsibility that he created it and the kids are the ones stuck in the middle. Stop being a stupid woman and leave. Your married boyfriend is a jerk and you don’t like his kids, who are already suffering being between their parents crap. You are not the messiah you will not fix and change anything and anyone. Go be by yourself until you love yourself then you can properly love someone else. People nowadays are infuriating with their behavior!

[@maylynbayani]

When common sense aint that common😅

[@sunniermoon]

This is simple: Walk Away!

[@SL-ud7tf]

👍but she's determined or desperate to carry on with or without the kids 4:15, loved John's pause

[@vjs4539]

"He's a difficult child " no. He's a perfectly normal child that has a difficult dad. She wants the bad guy, and she's going to make the kids lives miserable because she thinks they are the problem.

[@usulman8834]

She’s not making their lives miserable. Their father, who is the one responsible for their well-being, is making their lives miserable, and he will continue doing so long after she is gone.

[@madambutrfly23]

@@usulman8834thank you for this. It’s never the man’s fault. This woman did not being those kids in the world and people will always blame the woman.

[@jroysdon]

She very clearly said she didn't want to have kids at some point in the video (during her first marriage). She needs to find someone without kids who also doesn't want to have kids. Someone who doesn't want kids of their own is going to be especially hostile to step-kids.

[@skincareceo]

And he's only 4.

[@nikicarrie4071]

There are difficult children

[@vjs4539]

I hope to God the mom gets full custody of the kids if the dad chooses to stay with this woman. She will make those kids feel like they never should have existed.

[@GhislaineMutombo]

The kids need their dad. I think if he was absent the mom got the divorce partly to get the dad involved. I hope this dumb dumb caller minds her own business so this dad can stand & be a man & a dad.

[@AGirlNamedVan]

who says the mom is better than the dad . the mom sounds mad toxic too

[@buttcheeksmcgee4272]

I agree with you 100%!!!!!

[@__jrod3]

sad, but true!

[@veronicastigger7947]

@@GhislaineMutomboso true

[@laserbeam-fx9qv]

Does anyone else see the incoming train wreck? This is the perfect example why you DON'T blindly follow your feelings! This is where wisdom steps in and overrules feelings. Everything about this call screams RED FLAGS. I just want to yell at this lady to please STOP.

[@bigmama818]

If you don’t like their children , it’s a no go !

[@ComfortingGrace]

I really don't understand people who date people who are married. What do you think will happen to you if you are married to that person later on? Look for a partner with morals and integrity so you can have a healthy relationship.

[@bkucenski]

Once the divorce papers are filed and you're living apart, there's no moral issue about dating. You just have to wait for the divorce to be finalized to get remarried for legal reasons.

[@cjpatz]

It’s the forbidden fruit.

[@cathyl7944]

@@bkucenski nope.

[@bkucenski]

@@cathyl7944 yep

[@sococomfort22s34]

Yea dude there are plenty of moral issues for Christians. Maybe not you but plenty of people would have moral issues with divorce and intercourse after divorce.

[@casspower]

I’m single in my 30s and my mom passed away this year. I’ve said no to many good men with kids because I know I can not show up emotionally for them. She needs to mature and take responsibility for her actions and the consequences her choices have on others. People need to learn integrity.

[@ithinkigottalent4047]

DON'T DO IT! I've never wanted kids and I don't date men who have kids (unless they're adults and on their own). It's not fair to the children.

[@NeeNee_B.]

The mother would have to be dead (not trying to be funny) and the kids would have to be under 3. Just bc mom dies/leaves the picture doesn't mean her influence does. That applies to adult children too. They're already attached to the ex. You'll be fighting the mom's presence regardless. She has to be GONE gone for me to involve myself. With ALL that being said, this is why I don't involve myself with men with kids, simple! 🤷🏿‍♀️

[@show_me_your_kitties]

Yup

[@LB-gz3ke]

Plus that ex wife isn't going anywhere. She is around and in your life for another 14 years minimum.

[@BlackStump172]

It would not be fair to yourself either .

[@BlackStump172]

@@LB-gz3keDr John should have told her that ! She might have listened .

[@EmpressMermaid]

She trauma-bonded with this guy. Trauma bonds feel like love but they are the exact opposite.

[@mimimonster]

If this woman doesn’t want kids, she needs to get out of this relationship. These poor babies need therapy. I find it hysterical that she thinks she knows what is good for them when she resents that they are even in her life. These kids deserve better and she needs to do the right thing and move on. She has accepted him being a bad father and is sitting back and watching it and resenting the situation at the same time. 😡

[@lucyross5478]

This. I didn't want kids, and even I wouldn't casually declare a freaking FOUR YEAR OLD as "a difficult child in general." Toddlers being raised by a soon-to-be single mom and an absent dad aren't difficult. They're victims of adults who don't have their lives together.

[@ireneangelucci3733]

Well she didn't accept this situation though, did she. Or she would not have called to ask for advice, she would have just minded her own business

[@cm5394]

Sometimes the non parent adult in the picture can still see the issues more clearly. I wouldn’t say the mother who is involving her child in her divorce drama has the kids best interests at heart either

[@usulman8834]

@@cm5394 Exactly. I was the stepmom in a situation where the kid was visibly distraught and highly anxious. Her mom was unstable and would regularly abandon her for months at a time to go on vacation. But everyone pretended that she was fine, because admitting the truth would mean that they’d have to take a cold hard look in the mirror (and take me, the childless, wicked stepmother, seriously for once).

[@BlackStump172]

@@cm5394It is a selfish and stupid thing to do .

[@shariwalker2964]

My ex-husband married a woman who hated my daughter (my daughter was 6 at the time). Now my ex is divorced and my daughter is 18 and has decided to have no relationship with her dad.

[@zahraawolowo6506]

Why did she hate your daughter ?

[@murdahmammiez]

​@@zahraawolowo6506probably jealous of the relationship and didnt want to be a mom

[@murdahmammiez]

​@@zahraawolowo6506probably hâtes the mom too so was lashing out at the kid

[@charlottehawthorne2664]

​@@zahraawolowo6506 lots of step parents do. Because they're jealous of the relationship their partner/spouse has with the child. And the connection with the other parent. Time/attention/love is a resource and there is lots of mentally unstable shitty people that want it all to themselves and try to compete with kids. Especially ones that aren't their own, plenty of biological parents that feel that way and do it too.

[@lorenjones7222]

@@charlottehawthorne2664fairly prominent dynamic in my house. My wife and my daughter (her stepdaughter) are constantly at odds competing for my time and attention and control over me.

[@NnoxLupus]

What’s crazy to me is when John tells her, “You can’t divorce him from his kids”, she just responds back with “Kay”….. seriously? She didn’t even try to say that’s not what she’s trying to do.. this lady clearly doesn’t give a rat’s a$$ if she ruins those kid’s lives. What a piece of work.

[@ambergreen981]

I think she’s a narcissist. Only talks about and cares about her feelings. No logic, has no problem being the other woman. She’s beyond reason.

[@AdmiringObserverR]

I hope she was processing the info and chewing on it

[@vaska1999]

Go back and instead of inserting your prejudices just listen to what she actually said.

[@jemmack4492]

@@vaska1999she said what she was suppose to after the initial truth!!

[@kschrop]

I don't really like kids but I'm going to pursue a relationship with a guy that has 2..Un Fin believable SMH..

[@mikedoyle5901]

Stay single. Take a rest for a change. Some people can’t be single for one minute.

[@dangerzone24]

You gotta love these calls where the answer is 100% obvious and yet the caller is clueless.

[@ykciR]

Gets with someone who is still married, someone who has kids when she doesn’t want any, doesn’t respect. Sounds like this is more lust than love.

[@catholicfemininity2126]

Or it could be loneliness or desperation. Some people think they can't get anyone better, so they cling to what they can get, they settle.

[@SarahR2D2]

For her it's about winning the guy at all costs. His marriage, children, etc. She doesn't care she's going 100 mph. He's a bad dad, liar, etc. This is where sin takes you

[@saraandkoda]

No. It's not fair to them. You will all resent each other. And you'll end up being a nanny

[@anneshirley9560]

Exactly. Poor kids. They're just pawns between this husband and his side peice. They're the ones making these decisions and don't like that the kids have a different opinion.

[@bkucenski]

Lots of single dads are just looking for another live-in babysitter for their kids. If a bio-dad tries to get you to do exchanges, talk to bio-mom or be a babysitter while he works, run away fast.

[@xhaltsalute]

At best.

[@andrea6053]

John didn’t say half of what he wanted to say to this caller. His body language at 1:35 says it all.

[@domeatown]

It's my whole vibe lololol

[@reenougle]

If you don't want or like his kids or his mother don't stay in the relationship. Relatives are forever.

[@cabayern9416]

Doesn't she remember "if he will do it with you he will do it to you"?

[@Guitarlvr01]

I once jumped into a relationship with a man going through a divorce in my early twenties and it was a hard lesson learned. In hindsight, I knew it wasn’t a good idea. I can hear in her voice that she knows this isn’t a good idea.

[@sofiandpheobe8589]

This relationship has about as much chance to work out as me jumping and touching the Moon.

[@jordanferguson2254]

😂😅

[@oncetwice5942]

She is a red flag and so is her bf(that’s also married). She CHOSE a man that has two kids, yet doesn’t want kids. This doesn’t make any sense at all.

[@carolreynolds8982]

The children didn’t ask for any of this!! They are victims of one or two parents. Don’t add to their misery. They will always come before you. Their mother -rightly -will always be a voice in your new relationship. I speak from experience. You need to put the children in front of yourself & RUN.

[@jessicalake1412]

I've been telling my 2 step children for 30yrs, they are the reason I married their dad. They were his best qualities and I couldn't bare losing them! And, I always played nice with their moms, I actually like them both.

[@BlackStump172]

It sounds like you love them . 🌸

[@karinaz8756]

What a great approach. The kids know they’re loved.

[@jessicalake1412]

My step children are grown 37 and 35..we still have a great relationship. My husband did me a solid, and made it very clear to all 3 of us, he made the rules, not me. He enforced his rules, not me. I got to make lunches and go on field trips.

[@bookmagicroe9553]

Be careful. I know a woman who didn't want kids, but fell for a guy with kids. She married him. His kids and her never got along. Then he left her, disappeared, and she was left being responsible for the kids. Disaster. Not everyone is meant to be a parent. It's hard enough when the kids are your own and you know their history from day one. Listen to your intuition.

[@Crew4Life]

The audacity of this woman!!!!!. The man is still married; leave his kids alone!!!!!....... How dare she say the kids are difficult???

[@daretodream...898]

A thousand times THIS. My comment above was toned down a lot ... ... I think the caller and her so-called BF are both horrible.

[@joyaustin6581]

The married man never should have cheated or gotten with a woman who doesn’t like kids.

[@NnoxLupus]

@@daretodream...898 absolutely. And when John told her she can’t divorce him from his kids, she responds back with just “Okay”… like really? She didn’t even try to defend herself and say that’s not what she’s trying to do, which means that’s probably what she wants to do. They are both terrible.

[@hollystiener16]

@@joyaustin6581 He didn't cheat. They are separated.

[@joyaustin6581]

@@hollystiener16 if you’re not divorced you are married

[@luannkelly5071]

Simple answer is no. If you don't like the kids, it won't get better, but worse. End it soon. Been there, done that. It caused nothing but issues. She's dillusional and in a fog.

[@calebburghardt3391]

I get people catch feelings for each other unexpectedly, but the lack of judgement people show when choosing to jump into relationships is crazy! I had to laugh at this call and I think we all echo Dr. John’s sigh at the beginning.

[@erismana2105]

People fall for potential the more so

[@SL-ud7tf]

@@silentnot4812 💯 no reflection or healing etc, just take the mess to the next relationship

[@libertysprings2244]

For many people that lack of judgement is also due to drugs (hormone high of a new relationship). Once that high wears off, on to the next relationship to feel it again

[@EmpressMermaid]

It's actually a trauma bond, which feels like love but isn't. They met when they were both deeply troubled. This is why you MUST heal from an old relationship before starting a new one.

[@jordanferguson2254]

MG, If only... People especially nowadays seem to lack the discipline and their priorities are out of whack. They don't care about things like healing, critical thinking, individuation or actualisation, even just general morality.

[@texuztweety]

Never date anyone separated or divorcing. Only date fully divorced at least 6 months

[@DNA350ppm]

That's wisdom!

[@toscadonna]

Never date a man who’s not been divorced at least 2 years. He’s gonna go thru his whore stage after getting divorced and will just use women until he finds another victim to marry. If you want to be the victim he marries, avoid him until he’s done whoring.

[@vanessagregory4528]

People lie they say they are divorced U find out later unfortunately

[@overworked123]

Stop it, this dude is not available. You deserve better. They deserve better.

[@franziskani]

The cheated on wife according to the caller "dragged her daughter into her mess of emotions". And she "made things difficult during the divorce process". Why doesn't she have the grace to make it easy for a woman that just got divorced and is so eager to have a new relationship that she will not mind becoming a home wrecker (and for sake of optics she accepts the lame statement of him being "in the process of divorce"). So she chose to go after a family man with one toddler and one kid in puberty - and is indignant that the not-yet-divorced-and-cheated-on spouse is upset.

[@buttcheeksmcgee4272]

Is this lady serious!?....... Not only is she admitting to seeing a married man, but has the audacity to bash a 12 & 4 year old on top of it??? Lady: You and that married man are straight up losers! For him to be dating someone who doesn't even like his kids, while he's still technically married and has never been there for his wife or children and what do you think YOU'LL end up being??? The abusive stepmom who is left alone takes care of those poor kids while he can excuse being an absentee father and partner with work!!!!! You are gonna be the replacement women and the next doormat. I feel so bad for those kids. Can't imagine being around any of you.

[@msakeeba]

She really shouldn’t be with this man. He’s a deadbeat, she don’t like kids, and already blaming the kids’ mother, and calling the kids names. Girl bye, this isn’t for you. Be single and heal before dating anyone.

[@ohhshitimhere5162]

This is why I won’t date a man who already has kids. I don’t want to be a step-mom to anyone. And all the awkwardness and boundaries that come with being a step-parent, in my opinion it’s not worth it. I have feelings for a man and he tells me he has kids, I’ll be like okay, thanks for talking and you have a great day, and walk away. Making those kids life difficult and your life difficult is not worth it. There are plenty of fish in the sea who don’t have kids. Go grab one of those and see how it works out for you.

[@abcdlilbit11]

Run away from this relationship! Run run run! RUN!!!!! It doesn’t sound like it’s good for anybody.

[@Shann0nxo]

How could anyone be in a relationship with someone who hates their kids... that's a red flag. They need to move on away from each other. Either he fixes his marriage with his wife and stays with thier kids....Or he gets Divorced and finds someone who loves his children like there own.

[@oncetwice5942]

This right here 💯

[@angeleyes3396]

Red flags: 🚩 They aren’t divorced yet 🚩You’re crazy in love already 🚩He’s an absent dad 🚩He has a crazy baby momma 🚩You don’t like his kids 🚩His kids will NEVER respect you because you came into their lives while their parents were still married 🚩If they stay over, he’s gonna be emotionally detached, they are gonna be emotionally starved and YOU are gonna get the brunt of it 👀 Girl run…pack up your feelings…and leave!

[@hollystiener16]

The divorce not being final is irrelevant.

[@KhallelaB.]

His WIFE/EX-WIFE is not a “baby momma.” You don’t have to like her; but you also don’t have to disrespect her like that.

[@mck2021]

You don't know that the Baby Momma is crazy. You're hearing one side, which is probably very skewed.

[@teabrown02]

Dr. Johs's eye roll at 1:00 was my face during this ENTIRE call. Ashley,girl... End this "situationship" NOW cause it is a hot damn mess. Protect those kids Mom and Dad- your boyfriend and his WIFE. Smh

[@mitierraperez9169]

Despite if the marriage is broken or in-between a divorce this woman is part of the problem and sounds very self-absorbed along with openly being the mistress, the last thing these kids need is another selfish adult in their life that has no natural motherly passion or desire to parent.

[@namelesswalaby]

So why did she get with a married man with two kids if she doesn’t like kids? Sounds like she needs to work on herself before she involves herself in other peoples problems

[@kimberly8185]

If you get with a man or woman who has kids... Congrats.. those are now also your kids and it's your job to love them also. Don't get with someone with kids if you are not ready to be that step parent.

[@reneel2441]

He wants a nanny

[@cathy7824]

She will destroy whatever relationship he has left with his children.

[@ryand7713]

That turn in the desk sigh faceroll was classic.

[@johniii8147]

This is a no brainer. Dump the dude on and move on and learn from your mistake.

[@1tommyday]

These kids are normal kids who have had their parental situation completely blown up around them and shes the third adult thrown into the picture. Of course the children are going to rebel. All the kids see is " My Mom and Dad hate each other and this other woman is the reason". They are feeling unsafe, unloved and uncared for. What is she even calling John about? You cannot last in a relationship with someone you have no respect for.

[@JahAmericanNY]

The two deserve each other they both trifling. He needs to man up and be a father and she need not be in a relationship with someone with kids if you don’t like kids. God forbid something happen to the mother and he gets full custody, she ain’t the stepmother 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️

[@cashway0420]

My home wrecking step mom was just like this, unbelievable narcissism.....

[@swannyriver75]

He ain't getting no divorce and you don't like kids why are you with him....girl move on stop the madness...he absent because he with someone else AGAIN !!!

[@kristenivory628]

John called it he’s a Coward, but he’s got a new body to keep him warm while he doesn’t grow or learn from his past, good luck.

[@Nah-ah]

Oh boy… the red flags you’re willing to ignore to satisfy your dysfunction from the last relationship! Off the jump she admits to being involved with a married man, then doesn’t like his kids! That’s 2 strikes! Once you are involved with him, you take on that role of guardian as well to his kids. Those kids will know you don’t like them! And you’re gonna have to deal with their mother for the rest of your time with their dad. Child-free people shouldn’t get involved with people who have kids. You’re bringing a whole different lifestyle and dimension to you that is complicated beyond words!

[@usulman8834]

Single parents shouldn’t get involved with childfree people, not the other way around. The parents are the only ones who know how hard it really is to raise kids and coparent with an ex

[@karenjensen2345]

She’s afraid to be single! That’s the bottom line.

[@Germania72]

Why is she with him if she hates children?

[@Manila-wo3pi]

Move on. She lost me whining about the kids, they come first every single time, the dude can grow up and be a dad, no kid wants some tool competing for dad's attention, they come first, he will be busy with 2 children you don't need a love life when you should be focused on healing and being a parent. Some people are so selfish and needy.

[@user-fl1hd1zr1d]

This is why, if you do not have children, you do not date people with children. I am child free, and I have ended two relationships because they tried to change my mind. Don’t date people who have children if you don’t have them and don’t want them.

[@ithinkigottalent4047]

TJ Holmes and Amy Robach need to hear this!!! Perfect timing! Working with a colleague is different from going through the day-to-day grind with them.

[@rebeccaoprea9917]

How promising can a relationship be when one or both partners are just coming out of a divorce with baggage ? This is trauma bonding in a way .

[@doctorposting]

“how dare she tell her kids she blames me for ruining her family when i ruined her family!!!”

[@cameronrichardson1416]

Some times I wanna tell people that there are other people you can be with

[@SaystheTruth3]

This lady is like a bull in a china shop. She needs to do everyone a favor & leave him & his children alone. The kids don't deserve being around someone that doesn't like them. He needs to concentrate on himself and raising them with love & respect. It's too soon to start a new relationship with someone when things arent even final with his wife.

[@angeleyes3396]

You gave solid advice. Especially about making peace with the past and owning your true needs

[@mv7374]

I dont necessarily want kids either but it’s a huge red flag for me if the dudes an absent father 😩

[@novemberpepper9761]

WHY on earth would you date someone with kids if you don’t like kids? You can’t just make them disappear-kids are for life. There are plenty of men without kids out there. oh and by the way, UNMARRIED men. You’re the other woman who hates his kids! How can someone be so unaware and such a victim. I can’t 😮😂

[@denisebarlow9719]

As a person that’s a step parent to a boy and a girl if I didn’t love them as much as I love my husband I would never get married or be with them. It’s selfish to do so.

[@BlackStump172]

If you do not like your partner’s kids , find someone else !

[@rickysantana5658]

This lady represents most people lost in their insanity. She's completely oblivious to the reality of the situation.

[@sarahshanahan2222]

Yes you are correct

[@marytownsend6239]

It will only get worse! Run🏃Seek a life of peace not drama 🙏

[@kristinaherrejon7181]

Amen! Delony is spot on.

[@jackallen9045]

You attract where you’re at - as simple as that! The unfortunate thing is that the kids are the ones that get hurt..

[@suek7086]

The first answer I think of is no! Feelings about those kids won’t change enough to be fair to them ultimately. It really isn’t fair to him, them, or you.

[@meganelizabethmoon]

I might not want or like kids, and would avoid dating someone with kids, but I would have absolutely no respect for a person who has chosen to be a parent and absolutely neglects his responsibilities--couldn't do it.

[@janicewright4007]

John’s faces are EPIC

[@amandaanga9938]

Poor kids! Leave these kids alone woman! Theres plenty of fish in the ocean! Pick a guy with no kids

[@raedorin979]

I love how straight forward John is in this call. Lady, walk away.

[@stevengtv]

This is why I’m single. The dating market is full of people like her and her boyfriend.

[@Lil-Whiskies]

Immature, self-serving and damaging to the people around them?

[@stevengtv]

@@Lil-Whiskiesyes

[@towpottsfam7631]

How does she know the wife isn't telling the truth I.e. they weren't separated until she came along as he could have just been stringing her along

[@brightpage1020]

My uncle married the secretary je cheated with - his kids hated them both. One son refused to speak to him - or her until more kids were born. Uncle had a child with the secretary and married her post divorce. They raised the daughter, sent her to college. Then he had a stroke, the daughter got married and the secretary divorced him and is taking over his business now after he had a fall and sustained a memory loss. He has depression now. Even if this becomes long term it won’t be the fairy tale you or he deserves as humans who need love and support. Take this guidance and grow with it. Get out of their lives and see if he runs back to her. My uncle did after 2 decades when his secretary got a new partner - in more ways than 1. He dated his 1st wife, my aunt. And it was ok but it wasn’t. And she broke his heart. It might have been her chance at revenge. After 2 decades and 3 kids with 2 women. Don’t risk bringing more kids to this. End it now while you can make a clean break. Better for all of you. Move away if you have to.

[@katella]

I married a man who acted like he liked my two children. He would play board games with them, take them to record shops etc. As soon as we were all living together he showed is true colors and became dismissive and jealous of them, petty about things like food! I left him within months. But I can never change the negative things that my children experienced. I also no longer trust my judgement.

[@kunya16]

The other woman is shocked that the wife of her lover doesn't like her? That the kids she describes as awful people don't like her? That she's blamed for breaking up a marriage since the husband is leaving for her? Is she literally brain dead? Because everyone can see what's going on except her.

[@benjaminperez6620]

Don’t get involved with people who are in the midst of life changing situations. You’ll be going through it with them.

[@sobeliever1638]

No you should leave. They deserve better than this.

[@leekshikapinnamneni4835]

If you don’t want kids of your own, you definitely are not going to be good with other peoples kids. You should go. Whether you’re the problem, the boyfriend is a problem for something else, this is not going to work. Get moving.

[@kristinecrowley8321]

What the caller wants is 100% irrelevant and unimportant in this situation. This is not about her, or her relationship with a married man. This is about the kids. All about the kids. They deserve the best parents and the best stepparents. They’re not going to get that from someone who describes them as difficult and admits she never wanted children in the first place.

[@lux-veritatis]

I don’t even have to watch this, the answer is no. You marry someone, you marry their kids too. My step mother was horrid to my sibling and I and my father chose her over us eventually. It was traumatic for everyone involved. Practically destroyed my life and took years to recover from the pain of being emotionally abandoned by a parent. My dad has admitted to deeply regretting his actions but can’t face up to the shame. He ended up divorcing her years later but he has permanently damaged the relationships he could have had with us kids. All of us involved were hurt by their severely messed up priorities. You can’t recover that lost time and who knows if the rifts will ever heal. If you are someone trying to insert yourself into someone else’s life without caring for their already existing kids, you need to stop. Don’t put yourself in that position because it’s a desire born from selfishness and everyone will bear the burden long term. And if you are the parent, absolutely prioritize your kids over your romantic interests. If your kids aren’t happy, it’s highly likely you won’t be either.