I just watched Surviving R. Kelly and...WTF?!

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[@ForHarriet619]

Watch the bonus video on my #1 dating rule and how we deal we art by abusive men on Patreon. Patreon.com/ForHarriet

[@severajones414]

him and aalyiah got married beacause she told him he was pregant

[@iguessitsokyungrichbaby2813]

Can you please do a video on why there are so many black men sympathizing with R Kelly ? A lot of them are giving me the impression that black men having a good reputation is more important than sexual abuse and it’s honestly gross.

[@professorkeuchannel1161]

@@iguessitsokyungrichbaby2813 Sympathizing comes from identifying and in this case jealousy. Most of these guy are getting flashbacks of being 14 in school and seeing the girl they like go off with grown men in cars saying these girls choose that life.

[@silvershadow7655]

@@severajones414 how do you know that?

[@jrr7031]

Hi Kim. I love your vernacular. Your lexicon is amazing and you got that urban "twang" that matches it....! Amazing! Never thought I would find another 'black' person who spoke similar. But yeah, US supreme Court ruled cops have no duty or responsibility to protect or defend anyone NOT in their custody.

[@Jaenanda]

“We use ‘preference’ to disguise pathology” is the most elegant, succinct way I’ve ever heard that concept expressed. Thank you.

[@Animegypsy]

It's nice to see the "stop snitchin' " idea finally breaking down. It's worked across all ethnicities for far too long. My ancestors were all about "not airing the families dirty laundry". In so many cases the "laundry" was a predator in the family.

[@MojoSojoJojo]

I was molested by my father's son starting at 5yrs old and it went on for YEARS. He claims to have been molested by his grandmother, and that's why he did it to me, his words. I swore to that I would NEVER do to a child what was done to me. That I would never scar a child for life like I've been scarred. The cycle has to end, we have to protect our children, and believe them.

[@mimilocke5650]

Rae Mckinzie I’m so sorry for your abuse :( I hope you healing. Unfortunately men and boys who have been abused by women are the most likely group to become abusers in abusing girls and women. Men need to start internalizing their trauma and work on themselves then using the excuse to hurt others.

[@shadowhunterartemis]

"I like strawberry ice cream is a preference. I steal ice cream, IS A CRIME!"

[@Skarletkombat]

Ashley Flynn good analogy

[@ratherbenapping10]

Steve Blundell no its a good analogy

[@ChrisBrooks34]

Kim's line about R Kelly hanging out/around high schools and McDonald's reminded me of Roy Moore who got banned from the mall and the YMCA for creeping on little girls

[@bascal133]

Christie Brooks imy dad told me a story that he saw him with a pretty young girl at the mcdonalds near matteson in illinois, creep!

[@AddBowIfGirl]

Christie Brooks This thing in our culture of accepting men as perverts as just a normal part of life needs to die.

[@SuburbanKween]

@@AddBowIfGirl ASAP! What kind of world are we passing on to the next generation when we accept and maintain a society that believes men are sexual deviants? It's not right.

[@severajones414]

i heard about hat shit in 1997

[@TheThought2be]

Me too.

[@bd10232003]

I didn’t see the whole thing. But what I took away from this is: Black girls are treated with such disrespect. We are disregarded by society as a whole, and used and abused in the black community, black men in particular. On the one hand we are preyed upon, on the other hand we are the ones blamed for being “fast”. It’s mind boggling and sickening. It shows me I have to be my biggest advocate. I have to be my own protector. I have to always keep my eyes and ears open and never accept anything in the beginning at face value. People will lie about their intentions.

[@rsfilmdiscussionchannel4168]

Do you think that media representation has anything to do with that? Would like to hear any opinions on whether or not movies, TV or media in general has made this problem worse.

[@sjor3569]

I agree 100% and I want to add that black women need to stop tearing each other down.

[@LemonSte]

@@rsfilmdiscussionchannel4168 I know you have good intentions but the answer is obvious. YES. don't need to be black to figure that out

[@shyztee]

You are absolutely correct. This goes all the way back to our enslavement, when African women were classified as "Hyper sexualized beasts" in order for the slave owners to get past their cognitive dissonance perpetuated by the constant rape of our women and girls. This classification of black females has continued through the years and has become a part of not only white mentality but black mentality, especially from black men. It seems every single solitary week there is some new derogatory term created by black men to demean black women; Tricks, hoes, chicken heads, bitches, thots and on and on it goes. But we think so less of ourselves that not only do we dance to the songs or lyrics that demean us, we utilize these terms to describe ourselves. The only way we can lift ourselves out is, as you said, to do it ourselves! As women we need to stop hating on one another and start to congratulate our accomplishments and encourage each others dreams and goals. We need to raise our black sons with dignity, teach them to have pride in their black mothers and sisters, show them our value through our example. Black women have long been the unsung heroes of our communities, this is just one more task we must add to our lists.

[@ottopotatum5775]

@@shyztee rappers spew this crap out. also young black men.

[@AlphabetSoup123]

This documentary proves how groupthink and the bystander effect can have everyone fudged up. It's a hell of a thing to think that Robert could've been stopped had his circle been honest and strong enough to come forward when he was at the height of his career. The friends and workers who went to the trial and basically lied and perjured themselves to protect Robert are a testament to the fact that the mind is a terrible thing to waste and that we have a significant amount of work to do in our community and the rest of the world.

[@tubester4567]

Yea it seems like a lot of the adults and women enabled his abuse knowing exactly what was going on. I dont have much sympathy for the women who met Kelly at 35 years old, left their children to others to go live with Kelly, even after all the allegations had surfaced.

[@albruckelmeyer1417]

Just like with MJ , his victims were either intimidated or bought off and any employees were also intimidated or bought off as well . (MJ`s maid for a example )

[@jordang7479]

I saw a Boondocks episode about R.Kelly and all the abuse he's done. tried to avoid his stuff ever since. But I noticed that not many other people were. His songs still got played, he still do tours and stuff so I thought "maybe I was confused about what he did. I was just a kid when I saw that episode." Nope it was all true, we just live in a culture that hates to punish child molesters and adusers if they happen to be good at entertainment. (Smh)

[@afrobelle8626]

“Construction projects are for contractors” #message

[@tcg5427]

Lets be sure to call girls girls and women women. I think once a black girl is 11 or 12 ppl start referring to her as a woman. Its important that we identify them as girls

[@OTMaraH]

EXACLY

[@OTMaraH]

Its cuz they have periods

[@cnstqnce2841]

@@OTMaraH black women experience adultification where they are held to expectations in behaviour and are expected to be "mature" and "strong"

[@layloo5244]

Exactly. Calling them ‘young women’. No they are children. They are girls.

[@mariej.richard5114]

Amen 12 years old I’d a child a teen is all the way to 19 teen I agree

[@MClement21]

10:12 THIS!! Kids shouldn't be made to be adults for the entertainment industry. They did the same thing to Usher.

[@rantsinpatwa]

I have no difficulty never playing an r Kelly song..

[@queeng1713]

RJ TV None!

[@mikasjewels5772]

agreed!

[@lowrider276]

Exactly. That was the only part of this video I disagreed with. Like I can't find out despicable things about people and still enjoy their art. It just leaves a bad taste in my mouth. If you can, that's your business. Sorry if this is too harsh, but not being able to bop to your fave jam anymore should not be your highest priority in a situation like this.

[@headstrategist816]

Do you know how many other singers, actors, rappers are pedophiles and sexual predators??? You 'gone boycott everybody? We DO know some of the caucazoid ones have been listed, yet not lynched on social media, tv, and public opinion the way Michael jackson, Bill Cosby, and R Kelly have been.

[@Nooooooooooooooooooooo7913]

At all! And I loved his music but I’ve been off his music for a while

[@Themystergamerr]

Girl the contrast between your bright white teeth and red lippy- beautiful. Plus your bright eyes- gorgeous xx

[@katharinemartin6792]

Agreed, she looks lovely

[@tcg5427]

You want to know why people didnt ask questions?!? Think about it...we are used to being around predators. For some they are the uncles, cousins, brothers, father's, and family friends. We arent protected...we learn to adjust. We learn to "swerve"...so yeah there's no red panic button to push! If we are honest we all know at least one predator that has never been prosecuted...so are they hiding?!? No they are at the family reunion or big momma's house

[@charlidarling6601]

Absolutely! And being protected by families out of fear for the family being torn apart

[@TahTwinkletoes]

Sadly this is nothing but the truth

[@LemonSte]

So true. My ex best friend was nearly assaulted by her uncle (he got a phone call that's legit the only reason he didn't..) and when she told her mum she called her a liar. Years later she told her again and her mum said "it happens to all of us, just get over it" 🙄

[@miriamhavard7621]

Ouch!!!! TRUTH hurts!!!!!

[@ihatemickiegee]

it was one of the reasons i didn’t report when i was assaulted - it wasn’t my blood family, it wasn’t even my technical FAM for sure, it was a best friend’s extended family member , and they already have a family member in prison for a long time (nothing sexual-assault related) so not only would i send them thru that w another fam member but then i’m the villain and they only see the one side of him - the same innocent funny side i always saw. and he’s black so how much worse is it gonna be for him? not saying race or color should change a decision like that, but my personal thought process (in addition i mean, not what contributed to final decision) couldn’t forget that. it was just about moving on, not letting it leave the tiny couple of people who witnessed the night because you shut up and move on and you don’t put anyone else through the hell of the family member’s actions. but where is the line drawn for the next victim?... _(and no, i don’t leave myself out of that, in fact i’m particularly asking myself)_

[@AlphabetSoup123]

On the Aaliyah point, let's say we give the mother the benefit of the doubt and say she and Robert weren't together sexually. This still doesn't answer why the mother nor the father looked at the lyrics from that first album and did a double take and said, "no thank you!....my daughters not about to sing that 'age ain't nothing but a number' at 14/15!" It seems so obvious that they as adults should have known the negative connotations it would have on their daughter's image and would have jumped in front of that speeding train to keep their daughter from being a casualty of people's judgments.

[@TheThought2be]

Exactly

[@willcunningham4724]

Also how creepy that album cover was...even if it’s unintentional, Aaliyah looks unsettled as hell at R Kelly lurking in the background...where were her parents when that was chosen?!?

[@AlphabetSoup123]

@Will Cunningham Another excellent point! The only other explanation that could be given for these things is that the parents or a parent wanted Aaliyah to be a star so bad they dismissed all the red flags and sidestepped the issue of safeguarding their daughter’s innocence in physical and creative form. If I was the mother, I’d truly stay quiet and let Robert take all the hits because there is a hell of a lot of blame to go around and I’m sure she doesn’t want folks to go looking too far into the family’s affairs less the media or public find out more shocking truths. 🤫

[@Itsunclegabby]

Mommy and daddy looked the other way. 🤑

[@tiawilliams5690]

G Nickson I don’t know if they necessarily looked the other way. From what I can tell, they’re the ones responsible for ending the relationship. My take is that because so many people held Aaliyah equally responsible, they think they’re protecting her by pretending nothing happened. That’s partly why he’s gotten away with it for so long. I do recall Illinois authorities trying to investigate the marriage but they couldn’t get anyone to cooperate.

[@Gildedquan]

I hate the fact that all the celebrities he did business with that knew about his allegations are now speaking out. Those celebrities knew he was foul and still did business with him

[@marysmith5003]

For years, the elite of Hollywood knew about the proclivities of director Roman Polanski, including his rape of a 13-year old girl. Except that, for years many did not call it rape, and even pointed out that the girl in later years said she felt okay with it. There is also the case of the so-called Long Island Lolita. Many blamed the 16-year old girl for seducing the 20-years older Buttafuoco. Was she a victim or a victimizer, people asked. Why was it even a question?

[@DesFunnyAF]

Kathryn Dorsey no, that’s even worse

[@willcunningham4724]

Also, I can understand the instinct of Diane Haughton to deny the claims since it covers her own ass, but at the same time, I feel that denying Aaliyah was a victim of Kelly's abuse is about as disrespectful to her daughter's memory as anyone can get. Besides, didn't she and her husband get the marriage annulled the minute they found out about it and cut off all ties with him? That's what ANY good parents would have done in that situation, and I'd have more respect for her if she just owned up to the fact that they WEREN'T there all the time, but they were able to put a stop to things once they found out how bad they really were. But right now, she's doing her daughter a great disservice by lying to everyone.

[@willcunningham4724]

BeepBop Boop I don’t think that’s fair. Her uncle knew R Kelly before all this happened and she was signed well before Kelly’s creepiness and pedophilia was public knowledge

[@alondathomas293]

Will: Their "marriage" was never real for the simple fact that legally, she couldn't have gotten married without her parents' permission in the state of Illnois since she was underage at the time. I wish people would stop saying she was "married" to him, because she never was. Even a member of R. Kelly crew finally admitted that the marriage certificate was a a forgery--it wasn't real, either. The fact there have never been any actual witnesses come out and say they actually saw them getting married, to this day.

[@theoneritz]

Kirk Wood um did you not watch the documentary? Or even the video we’re commenting on? They literally said the reason she was able to get married without her parents’ permission was that she pretended she was 18. And what exactly does the admission of one of R Kelly’s crew prove? Nothing. Of course his staff is gonna try to defend their boss. But even if all of that is true, whether or not their “marriage” was a legitimate was not even remotely my point...The point is that their relationship was not appropriate, and there are literally heaps and heaps of evidence to back that up.

[@dianabryan7421]

Thanks for this conversation! I could not count on 8 hands how many super grown men the majority being black propositioned me or approached me with a agenda when I was between the ages of 11 and 16. I was smart enough to kind of avoid them but I still felt like it was my job to become less noticeable to these grown men. I did not feel like I could rely on any adult to protect me and even after 15 years of growth and maturity I still believe that to be true to a certain extent. In the black community we are taught to keep our mouth shut, to not be fast, to pray, and to be STRONG and not cause discord in the family. Thank God I never got entangled in those predators Webb but they were there every day every second every moment reminding me that being innocent would never be a option. We really need to continue to have these conversations and did I mention many men that I grew up with went through the same thing I went through concerning predators. I refuse to believe that no one noticed I just believe it was easier from everyone to turn away. I pray that we can get to a place of transparency and truth and really start dealing with all of the brokenness that this world wide abuse has caused so many people Men and women alike!

[@marshaabrady5191]

Diana Bryan did you read my mind? Lol great points and great comment. And I know exactly what you mean about feeling like you had to become less noticeable to grown men at a young age. And the lack of protection!! Omg, some black men seem to have an aversion to protecting young women, and not only that how our community blames the women...the whole calling women fast when nothing is brought up about mens’ behavior. Smh

[@Wanjiro81]

Diana Bryan I agree and I can TOTALLY relate to your experiences!

[@SuburbanKween]

Spoke my mind.

[@LSSYLondon]

Stop praying. Start getting pissed off. The church is making excuses and putting it on the little girls. It's BS.

[@dianabryan7421]

@@LSSYLondon no one said anything about church." I pray" is a expression used when talking about people you can not meet talk to or influence exct. I do all that I can in my current community now that I am grown. I hope and pray we all are doing all we can in our current communities.

[@Annaiuq1]

"THEY'RE 👏 CHIL 👏DREN👏" I felt the same way

[@trae_the_Arrogant89]

The part about black men not dealing with their abuse is very sobering. Black Women are always taught to take care of themselves but not the men.

[@beeoliver4636]

alot of that is because blk men are taught to be everything of a man their mother's never received in slivers and better than there fathers are. #toxicmasculitypreventsselfhelpandawareness

[@angelajohnsonkeys4199]

We're supposed to take care of black men and ourselves! Black men get the "racism pass."

[@nataliecoles2461]

I agree and we need to start teaching black men how to take care of themselves

[@truthseeker7123]

How can you be taught to take care of an individual that's primarily not present in black households?? I'll wait.

[@thatblvckhippie1911]

@@truthseeker7123 plenty of black men DO have dads though. And this is about self. My mother and all the matriarchs in my family are wonderful but self care is up to each individual's needs. It also doesnt have to be gendered but society is obsessed with that. They can go to the seminars or read the books out there and go to a therapist like we've BEEN telling them to do.

[@68ElPadrino]

I think the thing with Sparkle was that even though she kinda knew about his problem, she never expected that he would do sumthin like that to HER family, her niece. She wanted to believe that he had some boundaries n loyalty to her that he wouldn't touch her family. Was it stupid? Yes. Was it naive? Yes. She even admitted it. But she did the right thing by testifying against him. The only thing I blame her for was being too trusting but I understand why. They was tight at one time. I feel bad for Sparkle. Thus guy is a sick fuckin' maniac who needs to be shot. He betrayed his fans as well. I am pi ssed cuz that song "I Wish" came out at a time where I was losing people left n right n the song got me thru it. Now I can't even listen to it. I feel betrayed.

[@csbean8783]

Eddie DeSilva Agreed. I felt so bad for Sparkle because she lost her career and her family as well. What’s even crazier is the 14 year old is now a woman and still with R Kelly and Sparkle’s brother (the father of the 14 yr old) still performs with R Kelly. He kept the family on payroll and they sold their daughter out for money. Sparkle lost her family by trying to right the situation and testifying when they wouldn’t.

[@iguessitsokyungrichbaby2813]

CS Bean she felt so guilty... all for nothing honestly it sounds like this would have happened wither she introduced them or not in the documentary hey said at one point the family and R Kelly lived near each other. Highkey throw everyone in jail.

[@68ElPadrino]

Idk why people are hatin on her so hard. People luv to hate people for no reason. No wonder these girls did not come out earlier. To avoid this ya know? Do u blame em? Do I blame em? Nah. The ones hatin on these girls are condoning this man's actions period. And about Sparkle's family? They are just as much monsters as he is. Sparkle is right. I really pray for those two girls that are stuck with his ass now. N the fact he might flee with em to Africa?? Smh the main hint the feds should see is the fact that both of them wanted to be singer, that's what they wanted to do but yet they haven't put no music out since he took em. If they ever break free, I'd give an a record deal.

[@AlphabetSoup123]

I get what you’re saying about Sparkle, but she reminds me of so many Trump voters and supporters today it’s not even funny. These Thumpers who still supported and voted for the Orange Bandit even after we saw him talk bad about everyone from military to minorities to people in his own party. Now, when they’re losing healthcare and in furlough, they want to exclaim that they don’t understand how this could’ve happened to them after Donald Trump said he’d solve all their problems. Smh How people can’t see when a person means them no good is beyond me. My spirit gives me a warning and I can sit still physically because my actually body starts to recoil against the vibes that person is giving off. Listen to your intuition people!

[@KabbalahSherry]

@@AlphabetSoup123 - THIS 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼💯

[@yogidevendrabiriyani1777]

"Construction projects are for contractors." LOL Every time I hear a woman say "he needs my help" or "imma save him" i just think, there's another brick in the house of mens power built on the backs of women who never got saved. WHY DON'T THEY EVER TRY TO "SAVE" US???

[@ItsCarmenHenry]

Iyanla Vanzant had a few episodes about molestation and how it affects the lives of black men who are victimized. I do think this discussion needs to discussed on larger platforms.

[@lolapatton5444]

Carmen Henry indeed!!!!!

[@nicoleguise6936]

You are absolutely right!! If a white minor was reported missing by her family and was discovered in R Kelley's house, I am positive they would arrest his Black a** and drag her out and return her to her family expeditiously!!!

[@bascal133]

She has notes, should have expected That! 😂👏🏾👏🏾

[@Kestra84]

On the topic of childhood sexual abuse of boys: You are totally right that our society's underlying horror at the idea of being perceived as gay due to having had a sexual experience, even if it is abusive, with another man, is a huge roadblock to adult survivor's dealing with their trauma. In my own experience, a second layer to the repression and shame that male survivors feel is the various ideas about what "being a man" means. A loved one of mine who was abused by an older child when they were about 9 - 11 experiences so much shame and self-loathing about the abuse, not because of the gay stigma, explicitly, but because, "as a man", he feels he should have been physically or mentally strong enough to stop the abuse. When he was a child. And simultaneously, he still hides the abuse from his parents, especially his father, to spare his father the shame of feeling he wasn't able, "as a man", to protect his son. One of his major fears is not of confronting his abuser, or that the abuser might hurt someone else, but that his father might find out that it happened and do something violent to the abuser and get locked up. (And, more subtly, I think he fears that maybe his father will find out and then do... nothing, which would hurt him just as much because of his expectations of fatherhood and masculinity.) It is such a sad, ugly stack of fear and shame and repression, which has fed life-long substance abuse issues in adulthood, which the entire family knows about, but the roots of that shame are so buried, they have only just now come out, decades later (to me, and only me, someone who didn't know him as child) and even then he can only bring himself to articulate that it happened. When people talk about "toxic masculinity", this is what I think of. That the idea of "being a man", and even worse, the fear of NOT "being a man" paralyzes my loved one from seeking psychiatric help and family support. (If you guessed that the men in his family, especially his father, tend to denigrate mental health services and those who access them, you win a sad gold star.)

[@charlieb1976]

I like how you not only questioned where the parents were, but also, where was the community. The community likes to shift the blame to the parents in an undercover way of defending his actions. They share the blame as well. Watching this documentary and seeing how many times he was a actually taken to court, this was clearly an "open secret."

[@LSSYLondon]

I don't mean to bud into this but as a survivor of sexual assault- twice can I just say that leaving religion was the most healing thing and the only way that I could stop blaming myself. The church put the burden on me as a female child to know how to prevent a man twice my age from entering my cruise ship room- that he worked on and assaulting me. I was 15. The church blamed me. At 25 when I was again assaulted I was out of the religion and I KNEW it wasn't my fault. I got pissed off... at HIM - the perpetrator. The church blames women so often- even children for being assaulted. It's ridiculous. We need to get rid of Christianguilt and call them out for this because it's BS.

[@FOTWC]

Lissy London dont even bring a relationship with God not a religion into this if ppl read the Bible for themselves they would know what a real christain is it even touches on the topic about ppl who doesn’t line up with Christian lifestyle

[@bulbasaur1232]

@@FOTWC If you actually read the bible, you will also know that it never punishes rape in many instances. That entire book is a whole sadistic, violent, obviously written by males, piece of literature. 4/10 wouldn't recommend.

[@FOTWC]

j escoto uhhhhh yes it does for the wages or sin is death, the whole point is to forgive So that person won’t keep you from happiness and true joy in Christ God is the creator he judge bc apparently we can’t judge “what y’all say if we try” rape is a sin bc it harms but we as ppl don’t ever see how God has forgave us for the tons of sin we committed against God and he still sent his only son to die in our places for ppl who would accept him but we still have ppl who don’t genuinely seek him and all they do is complain from a human stand point so read the Bible and seek him and you’ll find the answer to a lot of your questions I’m 100% sure you will

[@lyricmomoschatzi8781]

On the issue of his and Aaliyah's marriage, I just thought it would be important to talk about how it's not technically illegal in 49 states in the US to marry a child. It only recently became 49 states, since it is now illegal to marry a child under the age of 17 in Florida. It's awful but it's not illegal for some reason.

[@alondathomas293]

Schatzi: I looked it up, and yes, marrying a minor in the state of Illinois is illegal. So, no any "marriage" they supposedly had (which I seriously doubt wasn't legal anyway.

[@romanr.301]

Kirk Wood - It is illegal without parental consent; if that is given, and I don’t know why ANY parent in the right mind would consent to their minor child getting married, but if they do, it’s technically legally allowed. Somewhat thankfully, Illinois has a relatively high minimum age even with that caveat, at 16. In some states, it goes as low as 14 if parental consent is given. 12 states, as of the time of this comment, have no minimum age with parental or juridical consent.

[@chikaka2012]

Roman Ruiz You’re correct, and it’s no better worldwide. Really f*d up because you know some parents will sell their own children for money, particularly when they are struggling to feed their family. Child marriages need to completely banned because that lays the groundwork for rich men to exploit poor families. It’s not banned, I believe, because there’s a lot of rich, powerful creeps out there (much more powerful than R Kelly).

[@marshacreary2442]

With regards to girls and women, 'Introducing Dorothy Dandridge', ''Pretty Baby' and the Shirley Temple documentary was quite an eye opener of how prevalent this behavior has been. Where did the sexualizing of children come from? When was the penchant for children to be seen as sexual objects come from? Again, how did the grooming begin? What kind of relationships allowed for the initial and the subsequent interactions to continue?

[@luciadozier1267]

This shit crazy. I'm a survivor and you know it's something that happens, but you kinda still feel like it's only you, but when you really really see how bad it is it's just...overwhelming

[@jaccl4539]

thats because this is not odd behavior it has just become socially unacceptable in certain places over the last few decades. This is natural for humans but were conditioning ourselves to not participate like this. technically its not a "needed" behavior any more because we dont live exclusively in small groups or prearranged marriages. But this is still happening to millions of people in this world and is a norm. We can hide all we want from it. And can call it hideous or sick or whatever we want. But it doesnt solve or resolve the issue. People will still need more training and the benefit of said behavior still needs to diminish and consequence increased to train this out of common society

[@LSSYLondon]

I remember seeing a couple old movies that could NOT have been made today... Susan Slept Here- about a 40 year old man that marries an underage teen - in order to keep her out of jail. Starring Debbie Reynolds. The Bachelor and the Bobbie Soxer- where Cary Grant is required by a judge to date her underage teenage sister- Shirley Temple.

[@kimmyball4961]

@@LSSYLondon wow.....WTF!!

[@jaccl4539]

@Aiyaluna Yourke i think you got it wrong - Historically it was correct - socially and otherwise and the female's body was mature enough to bare a child as well. in fact historically whats new is to what age a human is a "kid" . Lastly this being dangerous has nothing to do with it being right or wrong. Child Birth was very dangerous for many centuries in human history. I agree the social context were at today opposes the historical context we lived through. But for the most part everyone is just wrong on the facts. Like i said previously you can jump into any non US country and this is still common place. Doesnt mean it cant be or should be disgusting in our context. But that is a somewhat new cultural manifestation of American culture

[@willcunningham4724]

I was counting the minutes before you made your inevitable video on this because I just KNEW you’d have something to say...and you did not disappoint. In depth, insightful and spot on as always. Love your videos please continue!!!

[@tamaracharese]

It’s impossible giving up the memories entangled with the music but when I realized that the money he’s gaining takes care of his children, his staff, but also gives him the ability to payoff and keep these girls and other folks quiet, abused, and under his thumb. I can’t. Not another dime!

[@iamlaurengill]

Tamara Thomas thank you for getting unlike the simpletons who insist on still supporting him

[@kendracozier7478]

Tamara Thomas Andrea Said He Dont Give Her A Dime So

[@Starthybee]

Oprah has done a lot of work (including with Tyler Perry) on the abuse of young boys

[@shadycatz85]

Just ask yourself, if those sexually abused become the sexual abusers, why aren't the vast majority of sex crime perpetrators women? Why only men? I think people like this myth based reasoning because it's more comfortable than placing the blame squarely on males and the patriarchy, where it actually belongs. We like to believe that those who hurt have been hurt themselves, but that's just not true. Men grow up in happy homes, cared for, fed, sheltered, and have completely normal lives, then choose to rape, murder, abuse, assault, etc.

[@olamideoladapo8496]

Oooooooh you really just said something here!!! And folks have the never to be like "wOmEn dO iT tOo" yes but not at the rate of men so now what?

[@runawaypacman]

They do.main stream media just doesn't report on it as much.

[@Itsunclegabby]

Damn. Great points.

[@adavis4165]

Guuuuurl, this was deep. You absolutely right which is just sad

[@brittneyowens1307]

Wow sis I never even thought about this...AMAZING point.

[@kitabare76]

You didn’t hear his road manager when he said he helped get the documents for Aaliyah and R Kelly’s wedding?

[@MultiBizOwner]

She's leaving out quite a bit of extremely important info. I wonder if she actually watched it in it's entirety?

[@kohljackal]

"Oh Girl, Let's leave the construction projects, alone." A motto for life!

[@IbnSheba]

Girls who are trafficked are often around 11-12 years old.

[@IbnSheba]

Heard about it second hand. I think the absence or coercion matters at ;east in sentencing.

[@iamlaurengill]

And 12 years old is when R. Kelly starts grooming them smh

[@rustyrober368]

My best friends boyfriends brother was raped by his uncle repeatedly starting at 8 years old. The uncle that raped him was raped by HIS uncle at 8 years old. A really serious conversation me and my friend have is whether or not her children can even know their uncle. We decided there is no chance in hell they can even know him. It’s hard, but you have to be sure to break the cycle of abuse.

[@FateOfTheElephant]

When people say black people are scary they're talking about people like Kim. Nothing is scarier to non-black people as a smart, articulate black person who knows it and shows it.

[@sherrid2082]

Bruce needs to be under the jail and R. Kelly needs to be their with him.

[@iamlaurengill]

Sherrea Dacus Bruce suppose to get out at the end of year. I hope he does something to keep him there

[@ThaBlkRainbow]

Excellent critiques as usual! Thank you for this video. When I tell you I hollered and cried as she talked about Andrea teaching R. Kelly how to read 😂😂💀💀 "Leave the construction projects alone" Great words of advice. But none of us ever take it.

[@CatACor21.]

Girl... you late. That series didn’t tell us anything new. Throw R Kelly and all of his crew away. Hot mess

[@TiffanyRayneOfficial]

I think this was more so to give the victims a voice, being that they've been ignore for so long. Plus it was also a glimpse into how deep this thing actually goes. Because R. Kelly had 23 years to cultivate all of this. That's a long time.

[@PaintedHoundie]

Throw the whole city away. Got to the point where dude had cops paid off even

[@Nooooooooooooooooooooo7913]

Nah we need to keep our collective foot on rkelly’s neck until he and all of his accomplices see justice, PERIODT

[@313designs]

How you know...or is it something you HEARD?

[@marysmith5003]

​@@literarylady1125 Because everyone knew and no one said anything. And it had to be said.

[@Goodladythebestest]

If you see something, say something!!!!! Period.

[@HappiDarki]

One of the interviewees referred to that oh so common saying in the Black and Brown communities "Age Ain't Nothing But A Number"--That saying justifies a wrong and a perversion that is so ingrained in our culture that Nobody talks about it directly or do not think that it's"that bad"...Most Black and Brown people grew up seeing Age-Inappropriate relationships between adults and pre-teens/teenagers, and not just the men and girls, but women and boys, too...Even worse, especially for the girls, folks usually blame these girls for being "fast" or a "goldigger" instead of blaming the man for being a PREDATOR...and we as a people, need to real about these issues because generations of girls are women need to be protected and need to get healed

[@DahliaLegacy]

The whole thing made me realize how bad power inequality encourages abuse. That as a culture (American) we need to stop having celebrity hero worship and to teach our future that these people are just people. It allows bad people to do bad things and get away with it. Hell even my dad, you say anything bad about Elvis and he defends him, when why? He groomed a child to be his wife, there's so much fucked up about that. No grown ass adult, should look at a 14 year old and say I want to get with that. Like I can't even! >.>

[@velvetpanther7032]

Is seems BM don’t police each other.

[@aligaines8476]

But they'll police a black woman with the quickness... Victim or not.

[@introspect86]

They only police other when it comes to upholding the patriarchy

[@jaedevrick6621]

I feel like most dont care, Especially the ages of 18 to 30

[@weesh4645]

Excuse me? White men don't either so why are you saying this? It's just that they might actually trust the police where as black men largely don't.

[@essencekk]

Men in general don't police one another. It's sickening.

[@reneishabrooks5187]

"Leave the construction projects alone!" AMEN! A lot of young ladies these days(some older too) love dealing with fix-a-dudes. He not bringing shit to the relationship but his physical self and good D but they think they can build him. F no, bring at least 75% to the relationship(no one's perfect).

[@MillardLatimer]

Adding pernicious to my vocabulary today.

[@omenriver2399]

I went into the series already disliking and thinking R Kelly should be in jail .. . . . . I left the series thinking about how many other people surrounding him need to be in jail too . . .

[@meganpotts2733]

I love Kim so much lol The Honesty is unmatched!

[@313designs]

Yea but Kim don't have all the facts so.....all she did was watch a docu-series and heard ALLEGATIONS..that's it. I believe in the "three parts to a story" practice - not hear one side and instantly believe it because the popular narrative begs that I do...I would rather hear all sides before intelligently coming to a conclusion. Kim is coming to a conclusion absent all information and that isn't smart or being critical.

[@springedwards8498]

R Kelly is on tape being interviewed n he's bragging about his 14 year old Protege Aaliyah n how bad she is n they pan over to Aaliyah in the studio booth singing...so this creep can miss me with that he thought she was older...he knew her age n her family knew what was going on n they failed her for money...Also, Kim, I could listen to U all day♥️!!!

[@Oonagh72]

Part of the reason the music went up is because there are people who didn’t know who he was and wanted to check out the music. The second one is since people keep saying there were messages in his music, so they were going back to listen to hear it.

[@donnapug]

Oonagh72 well I guess they’ve all enabled a pedophile to make more money that he’ll turn around and use to pay off accusers. These people are not helping the cause

[@SuburbanKween]

Another reason is that they just don't give a shit about Black women and girls. I walked past a Black-owned business in my Black neighborhood and heard his music blasting from the storefront. Another friend who lives in the neighborhood next to me (another Black neighborhood) said she'd heard his music blasting from a vehicle. A 16% increase in streams is pretty modest but folks could've done their research using someone's KZbin page.

[@rinalovesbags8788]

U are so well spoken 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾 love to see women like u on YT. U make all of us think and dissect each layer.

[@jessicavictoriacarrillo7254]

Listening to this reminds me of how Esther Williams (an old school swimming movie star) talked about how she was molested by a family friend (a surrogate big brother) for years with many members in that house being oblivious to her pain, except for her younger brother (who tried to defend her but got beaten up). When she finally came to her mother, her Mom's response was "But he is so dear, so sensitive" and Esther was disappointed. Later she overheard her parents confronting this boy but it was more they were lost between keeping the boy who filled in the shoes of their late eldest son (Esther's older brother died when she was very young) and keeping her safe. She eventually had to tell him to butt out of her home herself. So hearing about how some of these adults witnessed Kelly's behavior in public and private, just reminded me of this dissonance. Where does it come from?

[@teniseuna]

So many questions!! Money can really prevent the abusers of society from serving justice! He must have paid loads of people off.. how is this guy alive and have a whole documentary about his sexual deviants!

[@lennaedaley8676]

I’ve been waiting on you girl... finally!!!

[@bossblaque864]

This documentary reminded me of the monster that R. Kelly is. Many of the parents, sold their daughters and looked the other way. Aaliyah's parents looked the other way. They KNEW he was screwing their daughter. They bartered their daughter for the ownership of his publishing rights to all his work. R. Kelly is a victim of sexual abuse, therefore in his mind this behavior is "okay". The adults in his world raped him, he's doing what he knows. As for his treatment of the females, that is a classic BDSM type Master/slave relationship. Calling him "Daddy", sleep deprivation, food deprivation, asking permission for every movement... that's negotiated as part of a M/s BDSM dynamic. What struck me the most is the complete lack of care for the life and safety of black women. No one cared, the parents didn't care. The police and prosecutors didn't care. Black people don't care. Too many people looked the other way. My take away... R. Kelly is a monster, and blacks don't care about the plight of black women.

[@AndromedaChace]

Those are BDSM M/s activities but you said that key word- negotiated. A minor can't consent and coercion makes any negotiation invalid. This is not BDSM. It is abuse. For contrast, BDSM and it's community is centered around consenting adults who are in mutually beneficial relationships.

[@angelajohnsonkeys4199]

No one, sometimes even black women (look at the black women who still support R. Kelly), cares about the plight of the black women.

[@noone9472]

I've found your channel two days and I'm addicted Loving your smart and constructed insight on each and every video

[@Oonagh72]

I read an article years ago, I wish I could find it, that said people who are abused are no more likely to abuse than the general population. That “abuse excuse” case about because abusers who were trying to get out of jail said they were abused to, in a effort to gain sympathy. So I do feel sorry the R Kelly was victim. That does not excuse, not negate what he did. It doesn’t make it “understandable”, or “inevitable”. Also he was in Africa on stage singing about “do you have your passport? Comeback to America with me”. The man has a problem, he is like a crackhead. He really needs to be locked up.

[@c3po978]

I 100% agree that finding the people that enable this predatory behavior and also hold them accountable. I feel the same about the people around Michael Jackson.

[@SuburbanKween]

Some people have said that R. Kelly had Dominique assume a masculine presentation because he also preys on underaged boys. When he can't find a boy, he settles for petite and/or prepubescent girls and puts them in masc drag.

[@skewell55]

It makes me wonder when he approaches boys, are they more resistant to his advances versus the young girls? Therefore, he does this as and alternate? This is crazy...

[@SuburbanKween]

@@skewell55 Child, this story is so unsettling.

[@paballo3562]

Very important point

[@CITIZENYOST]

None of the young women were prepubescent, teenage groupies and hoes are not 9 and 10 year olds.

[@lolapatton5444]

jeanettesdaughter Wowzers.......

[@natalierose1072]

So many people were complacent in his predatory behavior. From top to bottom seems like just about everyone they interviewed were on his payroll at some point or benefiting from being around him. Some of the women who were labeled victims were participating in it with OTHER girls which sickened me. That one woman knew he was a predator and STILL introduced her niece to him. That's fucked up no matter how you look at it. Seems like just about everyone interviewed was trying to act like the innocent party when really most of them have some accountability to take.

[@christine3477]

Yessss! I’ve been hoping you’d pop up and do something on this! I love your insight on these important issues!

[@grayskindablue]

Hi, been binge watching your channel today. Before even watching the rest, thank you, for starting a conversation about male sexual abuse. I think our numbers are vastly underreported because of very sexist mentalities most boys learn very early on. And it’s really harming men, especially when wrapped up so closely with homophobia. I’m probably one of the very few men here, at that a half-white, half-Latino man, lol. But your content is massively important to me as someone who both aligns with you politically and needs to be educated. A lot of my formative years were spent as “the one white kid” in a predominantly black neighborhood and school (that welcomed me.) I don’t know how to carry that sense of community and education from friends that was in just one specific place, with me, correctly, out into the rest of the world in my early/mid 20’s. (I’m gonna watch the rest now.)

[@CotyAJ]

That whole thing was so hard to watch, and I also binge-watched it too because I just didn't think I would have the will to keep going back to it because it hurt. And it really was insane that so many things were just skipped over. That's what I took from this docu-series: So many people just didn't try to help. There were so many people failing these girls and women who all were taken in by this man. And it was so annoying that while all of this was going on, and they did add in the examples of white men who targeted young girls, that black viewers just skipped over that and kept saying that they were targeting black men. Major eye roll.

[@nyxvermillion3175]

I just watched the series today. I believe that Dominique’s masculine appearance is humiliation tactic by R. Kelly. Just comparing it to the Onision situation and the way he makes his girls cut their hair and wear boys clothes.

[@nataliecoles2461]

I love her perspective in the video because this situation is like a onion, there are a CRAP TON of layers to pick through. My only issue with her perspective would be listening to his music and the memories. Don’t get me wrong I loved R.Kelly’s music growing up. I remember being excited when step in the name of love would play on birthday on the radio for example. There are so many happy memories of dancing and singing with my family listening to his music, as an adult I loved having sex listening to 12 play, like I can’t ignore those memories! However after watching that documentary, applying that 20/20 hindsight and really analyzing his earlier music, particularly his sexually charged music, you can’t ignore the parallels his music has to the demonizing sexual acts he performed on those young girls, like you can’t. The media has cracked on the parallels for YEARS, I remember the jokes about 12 play meaning you gotta be 12 to play and I would laugh my ass off. Watching the documentary and listening to his music teacher speaking on how’s his teenage years, his music was DIRECTLY influenced by his reality and she’d have to tell him to chill because it was just SO GRAPHIC. Like you have call your character into question after all of this with his earlier music in particular and determine why it’s that hard for his to cancel at least that much of his music. After that documentary I can’t listen to bump and grind and not relate that to what he did with those young girls if I wanted to, we as black people are too quick to stick our heads in the sand when it comes to the total picture, and sometimes in the black fashion we have to take the old school, “straight and direct” approach to help people understand that this man needs to be cancelled.

[@sandywichmann9292]

Beauty and the Beast is teaching us women and girls a terrible lesson about fixing men.

[@jaynedavis3388]

By 15 I had the body of a mother of 3 (I didn’t get pregnant, it’s just my shape). There’s a reason that clubs card you sometimes because my niece at 13 looks 19 in a dress & heels. People SHOULD always say something but If someone called the cops from that party, what the hell do you think the LAPD was gonna do?

[@aliciakharris3073]

Kim, I really enjoy hearing your take on a lot of important issues. A note: I do think it is VERY important to know the victims names. When you are taking notes of things you are going to discuss in your video, you could also note their names and pronunciation. If you don't, it feels dismissive of their pain. They are more than just fodder for a video so it should be a priority to know their names.

[@ForHarriet619]

This is very fair.

[@Hiiiiiiiiieeee]

He is such a vile man. It’s so sad that people helped him cover up such nasty deeds for so long. Money is the root of all evil.

[@amymarie9107]

Your so well spoken and I just love how you think and the way you present yourself. I'm obsessed with your videos lately💚💜💙💛💖

[@zigowl1193]

Look into the stories of Joan Collins and her 1st husband. Stage parents are deep and always have been. Glad we all finally cancelled R Kelly.

[@igirly123]

Those people who had witnessed and observed what he was doing and said nothing deserve to be arrested!! What is wrong with this world?? These people need consequences.

[@lowrider276]

As usual, a ver well done analysis. I really appreciate your work and I value your perspective. The only part I really disagreed with was the portion talking about people still enjoying R. Kelly's music. I already left a reply, so I don't want to come off as petty or combative but there was more I wanted to say. There is research that suggests that people view those they deem as talented as more favorable than those who don't. Meaning "talented" people often receive social benefits and are able to engage in behavior that would be judged far more harshly for others. I do agree that it is fallacious thinking to say that someone is suddenly untalented because they're a terrible person. The conversation we should be having is that talent is not an excuse for unacceptable behavior and that talented people can be shitty. That being said, I'm not lying when I say it is not difficult for me to not enjoy that man's music. I just cannot enjoy someone's art after I know that they are this depraved. I can't just sit there and turn my brain off and just enjoy it. All I'm going to be thinking about is what an abusive monster he is. This is very similar to the situation with Bill Cosby. So many people were saying things to the effect of, "Well now I can't enjoy the Cosby show anymore!" And I can't help but think is that really the most pressing concern right now? I'm not saying that this has to be east for people, but I think we need to be honest and talk about how too many of use nostalgia as a shield from dealing with uncomfortable truths. Facts are facts, and we need to face reality. If we're being serious about our politics and about our ethics then we need to stand by them and hold each other accountable. While these attitudes frustrate me to no end, I do agree that chastising people won't work. If that's the case, what are tools? How do we help people deal with this?

[@adventurousdaydreamer]

09:57 Robert wrote songs for B2K too girl and Immature had GROWN lyrics. ijs 😬😕

[@Murayo1984]

The Adventurous Daydreamer and look at what happened to Two of the B2k boys. Apparently been molested by marques Houston and their manager.

[@Sbp9284]

Only 3 minutes in and I have to comment. I’m so excited for this video. Couldn’t wait to hear your thoughts on this. I think this has been so hard for us all to grasp...

[@Sara-fv8hg]

I just stumbled on to your channel and am addicted! Been binging for two days.

[@lola_sand]

I recently discovered your channel and I’m so glad I did.

[@ohlovelyqs]

I’m so ready to join your patreo! You are so smart and I’ve learned so much for you. Thank you, thank you!!!

[@katharinew4218]

Just discovering your channel now and I love your commentary, all your opinions are so well formulated and well researched

[@leroystea8069]

Appreciate the clarity of your conversation. What your sharing here is important.

[@waynehersheykiss08]

We tired. Signed, A Black Woman

[@dinahnicole3519]

I’ve been waiting for you sis!!!! Yesss God!

[@dede9699]

Idk if you have, but check out At the Dark End of the Street. It’s a book about the history of the rape of black women in America and our trials in trying to receive justice

[@dede9699]

@@jeanettesdaughter It's a book by Danielle L. McGuire. It's a really good book.

[@razmiddle9410]

"I don't believe in prison, but he needs to not be among us. He needs to get some help away from us. Away." How do you think this should be accomplished?

[@biggalex6301]

"The consequences of that normal 'childhood stupidity' are so unequal" There it is right there.

[@marshacreary2442]

I think we need a deep dive into the Kinsey experiments and the Kinsey scale. Many boys and men who have been molested may not even understand that they were being groomed because those behaviors are normalized and even rewarded. I also see that there are tactics that were used to continue these situations in an effort to maintain the long term connections

[@aligaines8476]

Exactly. When people realize how this sick guy and his study influenced legislation and society in general... More importantly, I show people one page of his study, which he had pedophiles and deviants doing, that shows months old babies numbers of orgasms. He should have been shot by the first one that read the page. That's before the internet and people talked, it was a trend, it was progressive... but like today, no one bothers to read it. You would think those songs everyone jammed too, they would go back and read the lyrics, he told it all. You have those online going off on women, repping R. Kelly and didn't bother to watch it... Obviously they don't have daughters or more scary, don't care. You have brothers talking about 'it's bringing the black man down'; 'gold digging black women', look at Weinstein, etc.. I mean seriously hating... I'm like dang, our ancestors went through slavery and being pulled apart; The masters having their way with our women; You would think our men would be die hard for the family. But it's still in us and the 'master'/'gov't' is still 'taking care of the babies', one way or another. This will drive us further into extinction; Women don't want to have girls or boys in this culture; There are mostly single women and some are either working their behinds off/not there to know what's up with day care, school, lock key hook ups before they get home or they're having babies by this one and that one and home, but let the kids raise themselves.

[@zarasteinhart140]

You need a podcast! Love listening to your perspective!

[@rb5959]

R. Kelly made a point to crush the spirit and then destroy the life of talented, impressionable, and young females.

[@prettybrittany_]

Girl I can listen to you all day. I’m so happy I found your channel

[@untitled797]

I'm a bit uncomfortable making this comment for a number of reasons, one of which because I'm white. But I really want to say that I appreciate this video so much! I love your channel and the angle you bring to every video. I've not been able to sit through those six hours myself as I have PTSD from physical and sexual abuse from my childhood. But this is such an important topic and kids should not be held responsible in situations where parents and adults were absent. We should not still be living in a society where victim-blaming is the norm in any case, shape or form. So thank you from the bottom of my heart for making this video!

[@jhalaby1]

I have been waiting for this video!!!!

[@deirdrasj1]

I've been waiting for this!

[@kimboslice9724]

Second video of yours that I’ve watched and I’m officially subscribed, your content is great

[@BushaBandulu]

Good analysis. You asked the questions I have. Asking questions NOT A CRIME, nor is it victim shaming. Questions demand an answer. No answers = no solving.

[@ggcntrl]

Showing love and support for this channel❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤

[@sierra.lynette]

I found it crazy how one of the people Robert worked with was like “Yeah I saw a few of the tapes, but I didn’t know it was so many!” and smirked the whole time. Like, if you saw ONE tape where he is clearly with ONE little girl that should have been enough! What does that say about you?! Under what context would you be watching his sex tapes with little girls, anyway. And to have the audacity to chuckle about it... like it was some naughty little secret? Just wow.

[@MrChalaki]

I’m obsessed with your channel lol(not in a crazy way) I’m having a For Harriet Marathon