Colorism Only Affects Ugly Black Women?

HELP US MAKE MORE VIDEOS ▶︎ / forharriet or www.paypal.me/fuchsiamediagroup
GET SOME MERCH ▶︎ ShopForHarriet.com
CONTACT KIM ▶︎ kimberlynfoster.com @KimberlyNFoster

[@misslacolebaby734]

Being pretty helps but it definitely does not exclude you from colorism.

[@fitnessskincare2928]

kzbin.info/www/bejne/ema5hnqqatdsjLc

[@TiondaRae]

Exactly!

[@DrUmarJohnson1]

In Brasil we have colorism not "Race" It is big

[@ertfgghhhh]

@@DrUmarJohnson1 what? Yall do have racism issues. Racism is a GLOBAL system

[@treasurerose6732]

#facts

[@122hsrfe]

Dark skin women need to be SUPER pretty to even be considered even attractive and even then we are still considered less attractive than average looking women of other shades. Within our community anyway.

[@jasminepearls1047]

@@angelahunter5954 It's not just blacks.

[@jasminepearls1047]

Amara La Negra is a great example.

[@angelahunter5954]

+TripJay21 girl I'm black... black people in general have Stockholm syndrome.... sad self hating group of people... colonized and beaten

[@angelahunter5954]

+Angela Hunter game over

[@122hsrfe]

@@angelahunter5954 shes saying colourism isnt just a black issue, Asians are pretty bad too

[@f3miakin]

I'm 24 now, and I do have to confess that until about the age of 19 I thought colorism was an ugly girl problem. It was impart due to the type of women I saw being most vocal about it, the fact I had never experienced it myself as I brown/dark skinned woman, and that I was always being praised for my looks. My whole perspective changed after one of my friends broke down in tears about her experience with colorism since she was a child. This forced me to educate and try to unlearn all the toxic things I've been thought about skin color, hair texture, and features as in pertains to the black community. It also forced me to look at myself and how I benefit from this system (even though I am dark skinned) with my physical features and hair texture. Subconsciously we make assessments on beauty not simply just on "prettiness" but proximity to whiteness. Upon reflection I realised people complimenting on how pointy my nose is, or how curly my hair is, or asking what race my grandparents are, or where I am from may be is not really a compliment on my beauty, they are just gushing features I possess that are not typical black features. I find myself constantly checking myself and having to retrain myself. I have had a very toxic, negative, and ugly perception on black features but I want to unlearn. Beauty is a commodity and I find many women who benefit from society's standards will do almost anything to keep the definition of beauty narrow. They want to exclude as many people as possible. Especially with the black women who directly benefit from their looks (whether dark or light skinned), they want to maintain their position in the social hierarchy and that means being dismissive about the intrinsic inequality faced by those who don't share that same phenotype. Saying "its an ugly black woman problem" just dismisses the whole argument of what qualifies someone to be "ugly" in the first place.

[@introspect86]

Femi A Deep

[@introspect86]

And you ARE gorgeous, by the way. Inside and out.

[@misslacolebaby734]

Well said

[@adventurousdaydreamer]

Femi A 👌🏾👌🏿👌🏾

[@TheBlakfantasy01]

Come thru Femi A!!!!!

[@shortbreadgirlscout3463]

Lupita was trashed talked about and she is gorgeous.

[@Music_Lover0612]

Don't forget Tika Sumpter

[@k.alvarado6237]

Black men don’t think she’s gorgeous. Black women and white people do. Dark skin African beauty... and dark skin Black American beauty are two different looks.

[@Mabasei]

@UCZL1xrQd2go2snkQwLzH-Sg but who asked you though?

[@severajones414]

they be trying to give her mostly voice over work, they don't want her in front of camera took jordan peel, brotha and ryan cooliger brotha to put her back in front of camera after oscar no white directors. so don't say brothas don't be looking out for sistas in hollywoood, a american brother gave her biggest look of her career in black panther , oh and she did't half to get raped or beat with a wip in it either,

[@shenyaet7286]

K Aaron Black dudes negative opinions about lupita are irrelevant. She knows she’s naturally beautiful regardless. She’s definitely not begging for their attention. They obviously want hers because they keep speaking on her. She’s blessed with a successful career, she won an Oscar which is a big thing and those haters are definitely watching her. Meanwhile she’s probably relaxes by her private pool everyday enjoying her millions. She has the type of confidence about herself that can’t be bought. When your confident like that your on top of the world.

[@Nooooooooooooooooooooo7913]

The fact that people are in the comments announcing that they don’t have any problems getting with and dating black men like it’s some prized achievement just further proves your point lol.

[@iguessitsokyungrichbaby2813]

noooooooooooooooooo yea I don’t think they understand why “ugly” is in quotation marks.

[@KadeshC]

Read the updated comments and the replies, a lot of women have said they do feel they are unattractive and will be single forever. It was sad to read but honestly I feel dark skin women will continue to be single at higher levels because of the picture society has painted

[@prettyblaquegyrl6146]

Exactly who can't get a black man though? They have sex with anyone and anything. Out of all races of men they're the easiest to get lmao

[@iamthenicheee]

Lmfaooooo frrrr. Since when have black men been the prize?? 😂😂😂😂

[@pauloskidane2819]

Brittany Edeh Since you came from one✊🏾

[@Snicklez89]

I see a lot of comments saying “i have no problem attracting black men” when that’s not point. You can still attract black men and experience colorism. And if you haven’t experienced colorism that’s fine but it’s not okay to dismiss ppls experiences

[@Casper_Chancellor]

Exactly I agree

[@luvjones4dasoul]

I have attracted black men, and experienced colorism on several occasions, it was horrible. Takes a toll on your confidence to be told that you are beautiful, but not beautiful enough to be with.

[@kyrathedestroyer_]

ILoveMedia x22 that’s literally not the point. your comment is still dismissive.

[@kyrathedestroyer_]

ILoveMedia x22 no one ever said that. you didn’t listen to the video at all. you’re probably light and feel attacked.

[@kyrathedestroyer_]

ILoveMedia x22 again, no one said that. you’re basing that off of your own hurt feelings.

[@natalielawyerchick]

This is a complex issue. But "you're pretty for a dark skin girl" is the oldest shade against dark skinned black women. So they're not exempt from colorism. It's just expressed in a different way.

[@Sp1n1985]

Who is known to generally make that comment?

[@jaywig5235]

At least you're called pretty. When people say that isn't not meant as an insult but a compliment. Some people don't find black people attractive there's people who don't find Asian, Mexicans or white attractive.

[@andrewhunter742]

Broke niggas with bad credit

[@heathertea2704]

@@Sp1n1985 EVERYBODY & their mama.💁

[@CanopusLux]

Dark skin suffer the most but you don't get this quote only as a dark skin person.

[@jasminepearls1047]

Normani isnt ugly but if she were lighter she would be more famous

[@mermaidtingzzz]

She seriously got so much hate from 5H's so called fans and from the people they worked with, I rebuke anything that pushes dark skin or non-ambiguously black women into the background. I'm so glad she's solo and that so many people are ready to invest in her music.

[@msgirly6827]

Boom!

[@Alyssaj1236]

Yassss

[@nationspridebts.8738]

Sarissa Vaughn she’s more talented than 98% of the popular non black female artists out there and drop dead gorgeous, yet she hasn’t blown up yet. even more to offer than her former bandmate, camila. i completely agree !

[@user-lz3kr5pc7x]

lol how exactly do u know that? 💀 exactly. you don't.

[@Nooooooooooooooooooooo7913]

I know pretty privilege is a thing, and have noticed that only a certain type of dark skinned black women is praised and uplifted in the media (usually those who don’t have the wider noses and fuller lips) but it does affect all dark skinned women at the end of the day.

[@Nooooooooooooooooooooo7913]

Not to say that women with big lips/noses aren’t pretty because that is false. It’s just that those features don’t fit with Eurocentric standards of beauty

[@Music_Lover0612]

Right, colorism makes people think light skin is automatically prettier. I've seen basic as hell lightskins yet guys go crazy over them.

[@Nooooooooooooooooooooo7913]

Flower Bloom exactly darker skin but still “euro” adjacent features

[@TruthNloV3]

This thread is EVERYTHING. As a black woman with blackity black features I try my best to fight if the insecurities that white supremacy has force fed me by surrounding myself with images of beautiful black women with ALL BLACK features.

[@shenyaet7286]

noooooooooooooooooo Yeah that’s definitely true. Me personally, I’d never want to have European features. I love my full nose and my big beautiful lips 👄 I don’t really have to deal with too much colorism from black men. They try to holler just as well as Spanish and white men. Black men are the main ones who tell me they love my features. Even though there are lots of ignorant color struck black men out there.

[@eugeniedelalampe]

I concur. I'm a west indian, very light, with natural weavy hair and green eyes, but I'm not a beautiful woman, I have average features. I have a cousin who is very, very beautiful and...very, very black. There is no comparaison between us, she is so striking and incredibly gorgeous, yet most men from Martinique, will find me more "desirable". Sometimes, I feel despair thinking about the heavy deconstruction we have to make to get rid of the "master's gaze"!

[@sassysid100]

Géraldine jouannel wow! My mother is a light skin black woman, we look exactly alike, BUT I got my fathers’ dark skin tone and black people are forever saying, don’t you wish you were beautiful like your mom🤦🏽‍♀️

[@axoub8576]

Sadly true...I'm from Martinique also and I'm dark skin and when I was younger it was sometimes hard to be "bullied" because of my skin tone or my hair type...but i realized pretty early that it wasn't because I was pretty or not but it was a colorism issue...sadly the dar girl is "almost" always chose last in benefit of the lighted / mixed race girl...pretty or not... I hope in the future, we, as martinican, will one day really put the subject on the table because there is so much hypocrisy that we don't even want to recognize our issues on that subject, that relay to our local history (and all the diaspora history) But girl we are all beautiful whatever the color! Foss!

[@Lafemmefutile]

sassysid100 Such à mean thing to tell someone. So sorry.

[@sassysid100]

crimsomthoughts 😘❤️

[@skj4279]

My family is from Dominica (hey sis 👋🏾) and I’ve experienced times when men and women in my family use proximity to whiteness to define beauty. I am brown/dark skin and I have big curly hair that’s down to my waist when straight. I find that I’m constantly getting comments about the length of my hair from black women and I can’t help but believe many of these comments are rooted in the same thing, especially when I’m told I have “good hair” (I say this Bc my hair is dry af, thin af, and my split ends have split ends) so I’m forced to believe that I’m not really being complimented on the quality of my hair but rather the length and the proximity to whiteness it provides

[@tamikaqueen1203]

My daughter suffered from colorism from dark black men. Then when she graduated they (same dudes) tried to date her!!

[@pennyduncan2002]

Why?

[@malikalenesey2446]

@@JoyFay exactly some of these men are full of shit💯

[@thatblvckhippie1911]

STORY OF MY FREAKING LIFE

[@mikailm6934]

How you know these are the same dudes ?

[@YouTuberOnlineNow]

Are people thinking that colorism is only in the realm of dating and beauty? Smh🤦🏿‍♀️🤦🏾‍♀️🤦🏽‍♀️

[@allisonmcinnis5929]

colorism affects how long a person stays in prison, weather they get the death penalty, wages, promotions, better access to healthcare, grades, and over all treatment in society. Colorism is a serious problem.

[@YouTuberOnlineNow]

@@allisonmcinnis5929 yeah I know. Did you even read my comment or watch the video?

[@Ebabie]

Allison Mcinnis no racism do. Y’all are so brainwashed that y’all are confusing racism with colorism.

[@user-lz3kr5pc7x]

Ebabie Exactly.

[@thatblvckhippie1911]

@@Ebabie it's actually proven that your skin tone affects this as well. It is colorism as well.

[@Lauriette31]

I am a black woman who has a problem getting black men or any man for that matter. I really learn a lot from these kinds of discussions. Sorry that it annoys some of you swimming in a sea of men. And, yes, I'm hurt...personally. I am that person and I'm not afraid to say it. It may not just be my skin color. It may just be my size and my age. Yep, the triple threat. Alone.. forever.

[@introspect86]

BELauriette My heart goes out to you Sis.

[@nikmariealex]

Girl, this is my life. And I know we have to act like we're confident and unbothered. But I'm bothered. Like living a life of a passherby is draining and lonely.

[@k.alvarado6237]

You have a pretty face hun. Buts let’s face it. If your overweight. Simply getting that body right increases your pull dramatically. Be the best version of you !

[@Bells723]

Same here sis but if that's you in the profile picture you are so gorgeous ❤️😍

[@brittanytiera3299]

Me too I feel like I’m going to be alone forever 😭😭

[@TheFlyyBohemian]

I’m considered above average by most but getting a lot of male attention is totally different from a man wanting you as a serious girlfriend who could potentially become a wife that you have no issue financially supporting. A lot of black men and non-black men would prefer a pretty light skinned wife over a pretty dark skinned wife. This is why we as dark skinned women need to be strategic and discerning in the men we choose to entertain. The worse thing that a dark skinned woman can do is waste their pretty or precious years on a colorist man. The thing is that because of the shame that has been attached to colorism within the past several years, many men may not admit that they are colorist or that they are putting their dark skinned women that they are pursuing in the meantime category. That is why it is critical to not only listen to what a man says, but also observe his actions. What kind of efforts is he taking to pursue you or court you? Has he wanted to introduce you to his family? Where is he financially? What kind of women did he date before he became a man with kids or was no longer in his physical or financial prime? These questions matter. I have seen dark skinned women end up being the babymommas to black men and non-black men who had no intention of marrying them, settled for being the second wife to and older man out of his prime or ended being married to men that they had to financially support. These situations could have been prevented had they vetted the real intentions of these men properly. We have to mentally be sharp when we are dating and seeking marriage partners.

[@unrepentantjaegerist7236]

O God ending up like that is my nightmare *shudders*

[@carolinesalv]

PREACH✋

[@Sp1n1985]

How is this woman telling everyone else what men want? 🤔

[@juliuscaesar7660]

What would be the man’s prize for marrying you? Sounds like to me he’s taking the risk while you pass it off as reward.

[@5hineepropertyofleetaemin]

Hit the nail right on the head 💯 Smdh, you're absolutely spot on - I applaud you 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾

[@kenyadaniels826]

I feel we have regressed from thinking black was beautiful to thinking if you’re not mixed or high yellow you’re not pretty. Oh and btw your hair is gorgeous.

[@taylorjordan2700]

All I date are black men & I have no issue attracting black men or men in general BUT I also have had black men pass on me because they don’t like black girls... being pretty doesn’t save you from encountering self hating men who dismiss your worthiness or beauty. I don’t care about the black men who passed on me because I didn’t want them anyways but it is a real issue. Sis is speaking nothing but FAXS 🤣✊🏾💕✨

[@taylorjordan2700]

T Knight yeah it’s wild, when you don’t love yourself you can’t love your people. But there is nothing on the face of this earth that would make me stop loving & support black men.

[@taylorjordan2700]

T Knight I don’t think so all my friends are like that too.. & black women have historically supported black men, even if we haven’t always received the same love back. Like Kimberly said in the Cyn video you just have to find the people who love & value you & don’t worry about the rest. If a black man doesn’t love black women I don’t need him in my life the same applies to black men.

[@taylorjordan2700]

crooked truth83 I know plenty of black men who say that.. but I’m not loyal to problematic black men but I value black men as a whole 🤷🏾‍♀️

[@Mabasei]

@@taylorjordan2700 shouts out to you. and t knight shut up bw who support black men are common you just don't recognize and appreciate them.

[@Music_Lover0612]

@T Knight A lot of us exist, go to Angel IKYG videos and those woke youtubers tons of black people Mutually supporting each other.

[@lmd7316]

Man I can't believe the nerve of the people who deny colorism. I grew up being bullyied for my skin tone and I'm not even brown. I can't even imagine how bad it is for actual black women

[@ellewinnifred2449]

Oh man. I grew up in the early 2000s, and all of the women on tv were Beyonce, Tyra Banks, Alicia Keys, Tisha-Campbell Martin, and all other black women equivalents. These are all light skinned, racially ambiguous and biracial women. Darker skinned women disappear the deeper we dive into mainstream pop culture. I'm a midbrown woman with a wide nose and fuller lips. As a girl, I thought, "where am I to fit in this world?" This Colorism awareness begins at such a young age. I do think we regressed in certain ways as Kim mentioned, especially in today's black television shows where the only black GIRLS present are lighter skinned, ambiguous, etc. Young brown and black little girls are watching these programs and are consuming the same message that girls who look like them, GIRLS, as in, not even women yet, are undesirable and ugly. This happened to me fifteen years ago, and it is still happening in 2019.

[@shenyaet7286]

Elle Winnifred As a young girl I’ve never had a problem with my full lips and and full nose. It’s beautiful.

[@ertfgghhhh]

In high fashion, darker skinned women with african features rule and have been

[@ebonymay7906]

Really ? Cause Whitney Houston ... Naomi Campbell ... Kenya Moore ... brandy ... even kelly price over weight were my idols oh yea Mary j beige I was born in 88 and those were my idols beautiful black queens

[@ebonymay7906]

I hear u sis I hear u 💔

[@Doc_McStuffins]

@@ebonymay7906 True, but those are just a few. I was born in 83, so same time as you, and can't think of as many examples of dark skinned BW as I can light. What did ABCs Ayesha look like? Little light skinned girl with long hair, just every video girl does. What about all the men who preferred Salt over Pepa? Iman (Euro features) and Tyra? All the light skinned moms and love interests in every 70s, 80s, 90s, 00s movie into today playing opposite any black man no matter how dark? I told my husband that watching movies, you'd think dark skinned women didnt exist, like we just don't come that way. Like peacocks--only males come in colorful varieties and females are plain. In black humans,from watching movies, one would think males could be light or dark but that females must be light because that's all they ever show! And Brandy was so criticized for her looks! She's talked about it in interviews. People praised for their looks were Tatiana Ali, Ananda Lewis, and Chilli-- brown skinned but praised for Euro features. Karen Pearson (Hillary Banks on Fresh Prince), not that pretty to me, but look at current YT videos of her and read the sick comments of men *still* lusting after her. How did the Cosbys have so many light skinned female kids? Again, the wife/mom Phylicia Rashad was lighter, and begat even lighter Sandra and Denise. Let's not forget little Olivia. There was also Mariah Carey, Vanessa Williams, Beyonce (never mind all those other background singers in Destiny's Child), Mya, Halle Berry, the black Spice Girl in the 90s... We could go on. Sure there were some dark girls celebrated in the 90s, but they weren't necessarily praised for their beauty as they were for their talent. And when they were praised for beauty, they typically had more Euro features or were few and far between.

[@TeeRql]

I’m glad you touched on the subject of people comparing their personal issues to a whole societal issue that they basically overlook. You tackled those comments very well!

[@mollygrace3068]

I spoke with my 12 year old biracial daughter about this. I told her to be very aware of people comparing her to other black girls and praising her for being lighter or having straighter hair. I told her that’s not a true compliment and at the end of the day, she’s a black girl (to grow into a black woman), and she needs to stand with black women and celebrate black beauty.

[@ashaasaju4172]

Molly Grace She’s not black she’s biracial but good job teaching her that! ☺️

[@pinkgal206]

Ewww if she look like you... she won’t get treated better...

[@CanopusLux]

@@ashaasaju4172 say this to a white person 😂 you are black for them and that's it.

[@roseadams8003]

Wow. Imagine even having to teach her this. Sad

[@latishiabedwards1423]

Did you tell her not to feel inferior to white females and if they tell her she's not white enough don't feel inferior.

[@meghand8682]

Speaking as a dark-skinned Indian American who was exposed to Indian advertising via Indian TV shows, I literally saw ads for skin lightening creams that portrayed beautiful dark skinned women lightening their skin and suddenly attracting male attention, job offers, etc. Colorism may be more hidden in the states, but its impact is undeniable. I remember thinking that I’d be prettier if I was a shade or two lighter as a kid, ands thats fucked up

[@vanityposh6348]

Colorism doesn't discriminate. I was affected by colorism for being darker than my sisters and I'm damn sure not ugly.

[@dayd6383]

A black woman who realizes that you can acknowledge your feelings and still be strong. I hate it when people, especially black women, say you should "get over it". It belittles your feelings. "Work through it" is so much more enlightening and empowering. Thank you for being you. I clicked that subscribe button so fast, I feel kinda dizzy now. Lol.

[@dinahnicole3519]

You are a beautiful light that this WORLD needs to hear. You ALWAYS bring the truth even when its uncomfy to here. I really want your channel to grow. As a 37yr old black woman you really bring something so positive to my spirt and life. 🤗

[@corelle8055]

Colorism is not easy to get over. I’m sorry. It’s the side effects of systemic racism of every dangerous kind. When European beauty standards get shoved down our throats for 400 years, you can expect self hatred. It will have to take time and work to heal of all of this.

[@birdiewolf3497]

Exactly! That is why we have to keep talking about it. Revolution is active and oppression is passive. We just need to live our lives and we will pick up so many white supremacist messaging that builds up self hatred within us. Like it takes zero effort. So yeah, if we just let it go, and not do or say anything, nothing will change. We will never unlearn this behavior, and we will never heal and move forward. So yes we have to actively talk about it all the time. And hopefully we can unlearn all this bullshit and prepare the next generation of black children against this. Let these kids know that it isn't their fault. If we say nothing they will just internalize it and think it is their personal failing when it has nothing to do with them.

[@DrUmarJohnson1]

We have this in Brasil. We do not have "Race" Here you complexion is your "Race" There are more than 30 categories

[@joanneclaire1045]

@Derek Lowe if you are so beautiful why do white women want our lips and bum. Why are they always tanning their skins. Why do they look so old at 30.

[@jarenl9086]

@Jazz Man It's sad. However if colorism benefits some people why would they wanna change it?

[@aamrakamran7275]

Yes. Tika Sumpter is so beautiful and her confidence is through the roof.

[@Antoinette70]

Calling people ugly is not pretty, that is an ugly comment. I agree Kim. Some people have many insecurity issues with themselves . Not all black women are straight, so they may not be worried about a man looking to be their mate. Negative comments do hurt people even when they are not true. Negative comments should not define our character and who a person really is on the inside if a person is genuinely kind. Not all black women are the same. Black women who are not straight are often thrown under the bus, called horrible names and treated like outcast from other blacks who make fun of gay people . It also contributed to the ridicule from negative jokes, comments, angry, hateful debated discussions about ugly vs attractive women. To add, women who are gay/bi,lesbian black women are not unattractive because they happen to be non-straight. It's like saying women that men do not prefer are the lesbians which is so wrong. Usually these type of men go to lesbian places hunting for women thinking they can make them straight, and that is not gonna happen at all!

[@jackiemontrose1279]

Antoinette 70 PeriodTT let them know. Gay and trans black women don’t have the privilege straight and cis black women do.

[@zan752000]

This is why I don't watch T.V., majority of the commercials only show A certain race of people. That's not the world I live in.

[@KadeshC]

Right. I noticed this as a child. I started to notice advertisements and how there were rarely dark skin women shown

[@zan752000]

@@KadeshC If I can't see global majority people, I won't be a viewer or a consumer. This community needs to do the same.

[@blacindo8945]

The whole “it’s an ugly girl problem” is just disgusting and people who say that are apart of the problem. You are deflecting honey and that’s not healthy for your well being. Mainly because at some point in your life you are going to be humbled and find out that it is not an “ugly girl” problem but an issue that needs to be addressed within the black community and then the world. And the woman who was deflecting and talking about how she doesn’t even date black men has deep rooted insecurities that were showing big as day in her lil excerpt 😭😭😭😭😭😭.

[@elmoworld850]

There are light skin channels that downplay colorism. Whenever I call out their shenanigans, I get called an ugly dark skinned troll.

[@wilam]

This video is so real! we can know our worth and still be hurt, we can love our skin and still be aware of colorism, we can walk and chew gum at the same time!

[@pluto545]

6:15 - 6:58, It's weird how even in the "so-called"more racist and segregated times, there was a plethora of Black actress stars, like Josephine Baker, Butterfly McQueen, Hattie McDaniel, Dorothy Dandridge, Moms Mabley, or Lena Horne. Through 70s - 90s, you saw Whoopi, Nell Carter, Phylicia Rashad, Diahann Carroll, Nia Long, Vivica A. Fox, Thea, Brandy, Queen L, and it was a Black actress galore. Now, in post-racial times "sarcastic eyeroll," I think it's barely a handful of shows where Black woman or man is even in the cast, much less starring.

[@karenwatson5053]

Vega Crux exactly

[@catharsismemory]

Super wrong, people seem to think if it happening to me then nobody else is suffering. But truth is there are plenty of beautiful dark skin black women who get over looked or trashed for simply being dark cause there's still a negative ties that blackness is ugly, poor, oppressed, and slaved.

[@TheLeah2344]

I’m an average dark skin women with natural hair and I can’t tell you how many times I was told I was “ pretty for a dark skin girl “ and I have “ good hair”. I have dated colorist black men who didn’t date black girls or dark skin girls but made an “ exception for me “ because I “ wasn’t like other girls “ and I was pretty to them with a slim body and “ good hair “. My dad’s side of the family are also very colorist and uphold light skin or mixed race people as better and I’m quick to check them as well as anyone who is colorist . I decided I was tired of being the “ exception to the rule “. I was tired of being stereotyped and trying to prove myself as a dark skin black women to please people who don’t care about me. I stopped dating colorist men and made sure to ask a lot of questions. I make sure to ask them on the FIRST date now if they like black girls and if they like DARK skin girls. Now I’m in a relationship with a black man who loves dark skin black women except he is Haitian not American which is something different for me dating outside my culture. I love my own people but I fight for black men and women who actually care about other black men and women. I can understand that at one point most of us are ignorant and brainwashed but that doesn’t make it ok to project your ignorant negative preconceived motions until other people who did nothing to you. Black people continue to uphold colorism and it is up to us to END IT. It’s time for us to make a change. Support people who look like you and stop subscribing to white standards of beauty.

[@kyrathedestroyer_]

To answer the question in the title. Nah sis, if you dark you’re getting the shorter end of the stick. One thing I’ve noticed is that a lot of black women out in the “oh that’s only an ugly girl problem” as a means of defense and protection.

[@user-lz3kr5pc7x]

Protection from what??????

[@user-lz3kr5pc7x]

Defense from what????

[@airbmikal]

Didn’t the first commenter say exactly what the black men that don’t date us say? If all is well no need to put down the “ugly” girls...

[@euphoriamakings5546]

airbmikal yea leave us alone so wat if im ugly i got a beautiful heart

[@passivepayouts1111]

@@euphoriamakings5546 true! You're pretty tho ✨

[@euphoriamakings5546]

xsoulfirex89 thank you i appreciate the comment and your gouerous

[@malikalenesey2446]

@@euphoriamakings5546 😍😍😍

[@tylineburgos8879]

You're right for the most part but I do think there is something to be said about being dark-skinned and ugly vs dark-skinned and attractive. Pretty privilege does exist.

[@mikailm6934]

@@KeymaJ not attractive in people's eyes. Less facial harmony, no hair, too masculine looking traits(broad face, very strong jaws..), too big eyes, too big lips and noses, crooked teeth, bad maxilia develooment..

[@ariesbyfire]

Damnnnn you said that!!! You literally have the venacular to explain such a tough topic like this in such an eloquent way it's amazing! Please never quit! This conversation is needed!

[@iamabowalways]

Kudos to you for calling a thing a thing. People will gaslight you by saying it has nothing to do with your color... it has everything to do with your looks. Keep bringing truth to light.

[@clefi727]

"Theory let her know that she's not crazy"... there is a comfort in knowing that you're not the only one who sees the the madness or Injustice of the world.

[@aprilallen2601]

I love theory and dissecting it. I don't think we have to always experience things personally to understand and see it. Often we have seen it and don't want to acknowledge it.

[@nikmariealex]

These are always interesting conversations bc I'm a black woman who doesn't seem to attract any man. I'm almost 30 and have never been on a date. I think I've subconsciously accepted that it may be my face, skin tone and thin shape but I know that's not self-loving. But it is hard to build confidence when you feel like a passherby

[@veinteduece6625]

Take a trip outside of the US (if you're in the states)

[@nikmariealex]

@@veinteduece6625 I have but mostly to the Caribbean and I was able to hear a whole lot about my shape by random men... Lol I wasn't even bothering anyone to be approached with comments about "why I look like so..." As my mom loves to say.

[@makinmoneyova]

True beauty is within. It sounds cliche but true ppl live by that. We have plenty of evidence that shows the "masses" are very supercial and detached from reality all together. This is only becuz ppl have been conditioned to think like that, so I just suggest you to try not to internalize it becuz there is more to life than "looks" (which is subjective in itself). Live yo life the right ppl I'll show up for you.

[@djlivvy46]

If African American men and Caribbean men don’t want you, you will need to expand your options further.

[@nyanzarojas8776]

Have you tried to date non black men?

[@natasjak6274]

my whole life my family, my classmates, my teachers and random people on the street have been telling me that i'm ugly...being black in this world is like a disadvantage, being ugly or average looking is a disadvantage, being both is a total disadvantage! ....i just wipe my tears with my hard earned money and smile! i'm living my best life and i'm happy.

[@professorkeuchannel1161]

So her attraction is not self hate but men's attraction is. what kind of logic is this?

[@Nooooooooooooooooooooo7913]

Professor Keu yeah that had me confused... she’s combating black male self hate with her own... I’m not against interracial dating but don’t do it because of stereotypes

[@birdiewolf3497]

Also it was just weird because she essentially said colorism is for ugly people, then said black men hate themselves and don't want anyone that reflects that. Like what does that have to with being ugly?

[@AddBowIfGirl]

Professor Keu It’s technically possible. She may be less attracted to black men because of the qualities she’s pigeonholing them with, not their looks.

[@AddBowIfGirl]

Peter Connell But women don’t say yes to men asking for a date just for looks.

[@professorkeuchannel1161]

@@AddBowIfGirl Name some of the reasons apart from looks that women accept dates for and we'll see if men can get away with doing the same.

[@teamTERF]

I'm not sure why black women see a black men as a prize when they are at the bottom of pretty much everything in life (generally speaking). Can someone explain this to me? Why do black women want black men to want them?

[@angelface8210]

No , it's effects black dudes too. Something I hear often Is "sorry I don't date black guys"

[@PapayaPepper202]

Being light and pretty does not save from heartbreak abuse betrayal or scrubs, being dark skin does not save from a ass whuppin

[@adventurousdaydreamer]

I always thought Whoopi is pretty she’s just a hippie but recently there were some black ppl hating on Leslie Jones a few months ago tho. I think she’s pretty too. 💅🏾 You better theorize Kim!!!!

[@princesspai1975]

That's a damn lie

[@thatthingyouseeatthecorner5249]

The Adventurous Daydreamer Whoopi isn’t ugly, but she carries herself like a homeless person. Leslie Jones is ugly. Her skin is clear though.

[@imanmohamed8713]

The Adventurous Daydreamer Whoopi Goldberg is not pretty. Stop lying to yourself, and no it’s not because she’s dark skin. Even if she was light skin with the bluest of blue eyes she’d still be ugly lmao

[@adventurousdaydreamer]

@@imanmohamed8713 Don't be a hater Tina.

[@YPM498]

Ehh

[@bal9944]

Mmm I don't think so, I watched a videos about a girl who said that Chris Brown did not want her in her club because of her skin color, and she was super pretty! It's a problem for everyone I guess

[@Xtheearthchildx]

I dated a guy in college who only dated me because but I have what he deemed “good hair” (even though I am very dark skinned and he had a preference for racially ambiguous looking women) Im like average looking &i don’t have a problem getting dates but I definitely disagree that you have to be unattractive to experience colorism.

[@milesmorales5271]

Cut the fake modesty 😂 Like you know you’re fire 🔥 If you don’t struggle in dating, you’re probably at least a little above average.

[@yougotgamesonyourphone6947]

Girl stop it you know damn well you fine lol

[@shenyaet7286]

Lots of ignorant ppl make fun of black Women’s features. But growing up over the years lots of black men and even women of all races, always told me how beautiful my full lips 👄 nose were. I embrace my Afro features.

[@shenyaet7286]

It’s sad to see soo many older and even younger women, in the comments saying that they had to struggle to accept their Afro features. I just want all of you to know that black women’s features are beautiful. God created black Women for a reason and he made no mistake while doing it. We were his first human creations on earth 🌏 Growing up I’ve always embraced my natural chocolate 🍫 complexion, my full nose and my big beautiful lips 👄 It’s apart of me and I love ❤️ It. God blessed us with unique features and curves that, white women and Hispanic women are paying thousands of unnecessary $ just to have. We’re blessed. I couldn’t imagine being anyone else other than a chocolate black Women. We’re very sexy and we have lots soul in our hearts ♥️

[@bebeenderson7863]

I was ALWAYS aware of colorism because I went to a White elementary School where I was considered brown or dark skinned and got treated differently for it to going to a black / Hispanic school and being called light skin. Even though I've always thought of myself as brown-skinned I noticed that as we got older, guys would be vocal about their preference for lighter skin than for dark skin despite how beautiful the dark girl would be. Regardless of my skin tone I was always offended by this because I never fixed myself to judge someone by their skin color. Even though I didn't know the term for it back then I almost thought of it as racism. sometimes I find myself being jealous of a darker girl skins home because of how clear and smooth her complexion would be. Your perception of beauty is based off of your experiences and what you choose to consume. Don't be ignorant.

[@shelamatela1079]

I'm tired of hearing "you're pretty for a black girl"

[@roseadams8003]

I don’t believe you. No one would say or even think that

[@shelamatela1079]

@@roseadams8003 🎊

[@dariamorgendorffer7813]

Geez! Is it me or most people seem to not understand the situation. Most of the comments are always in relation to them. And if the problem is not experienced by these people, than it doesn’t exist?!? Can people get out of themselves and analyze the situation from a sociological/ historical/ anthropological perspective?

[@Sp1n1985]

Women are solilipisistic

[@ForHarriet619]

Watch all the bonus content on Patreon including my ONLY piece of dating advice. Patreon.com/ForHarriet

[@stsbk]

Once again. A brother is here for this. You had me when you said “THAT’S interesting” lol. Glad you’re back 👌🏾++

[@ms.brinichole9763]

Light skin women are the white women in the Blk community.. 😆simply because every time colorisim is discussed particularly by a dark skin women; LSW usually deflects by saying things like “I was picked on too” or “were all black and we all go through the same stuff” or “I can’t help I was born with this complexion”. And all that jazz is well and good. But understand that is equivalent to a white person “all lives matter-ing” us when we are discussing black issues. It’s that whole guilt complex that is projected and we never get anywhere. On behalf of all the brown and dark skin women I apologize that you were mistreated unfairly. However dark skin women and light skin women issues within the colorism realms lol 😆 are not equivalent. We have to learn to discuss these issue with love and compassion. Being empathetic towards one another is key. ❤️

[@lauracoelho6421]

I'm from Brazil and we have a strong colorism system. But it works in a more complex way. Our concept of race it is based on color and features, there are not much to do with ancestry. A person can either be white and have african ancestry, and the opposite way around. The more you look white the better you are.

[@user-vf3fz7qv6v]

Thank you for calling these people out and breaking this down. This conversation is needed.

[@amazingdoublea]

So I sent that last video to my darker skinned friend who is EASILY the “sexiest” woman I know. Body wise face wise all that. Literally can’t take her anywhere without at least five people in the room breaking their damn neck and EVEN SHE agreed with every word. That “it’s an ugly girl problem” comment is not only disgusting but super irresponsible as a black adult.

[@judoxx8877]

Kim, you’re legit my best friend in my head/heart!

[@bebeenderson7863]

I have no problem with preference. I find that dark-skinned men are very attractive not specifically because of the "look" of their skin color but because of what that skin color represents culturally and historically. I don't consider other people unattractive because they're not dark skin and I wouldn't pick a dark-skinned man over a light-skinned man just because of that, because my criteria for what a man should be is extensive. I just think it's dangerous for black men to vocally express that one color ,no matter the color, is better than the other, ESPECIALLY BECAUSE OF THE HISTORY that black women and men have experience in this country together. There are women, black women, that have risked their lives for black men because we understand their value so for black men to turn around and let society dictate what's beautiful to them, it hurts. Vanity isn't everything. And it's no mystery why it's so common and easy for a woman of other races to turn around and stab their black men in the back because a lot of them don't understand and appreciate that man real value 💯💯💯.

[@tabricarentz1577]

Thank you for posting this and other videos highlighting colorism. For a long time, I thought that I was crazy because I was noticing certain trends with regard to black men's romantic preferences. However, hearing your commentary on this video and at least one other one, I feel validated. Again, thank you for addressing the colorism issue.

[@keyinformationtarot808]

Thank u for speaking so truthfully about the hurt. I really appreciate that, ive been personally affected by colorism/racism and people dont like to talk about it, they are always in that “get over it, its not a big deal, stop focusing on it” energy. Which i hate cuz they dont realize they r literally trying to silence “the victim” as well. And it feels good to have others speak on it publicly, its feel like we have a back up, or reference, you know? I hope that makes sense! Btw i absolutely LOVE your hair! Its so bouncy and long, literally #GOALS 💖

[@user-cw4ch5gr6e]

I'm Indian, and I completely agree with ur perspective of how darker women/people are viewed around the world, especially black people. I don't think gaslighting others who have the determination and courage to talk about it, to talk about the 'uncomfortable and biased' perspectives is the way to go. if you don't want to talk about it, acknowledge the unfairness then well and good. But don't dismiss the women who wants to make a change in this world.

[@Kekee607]

I just started watching your show and so far I love it. You are educated, well spoken, and confident. You are a blessing to black people. Keep doing what you do. This is great for young black children and adults. Wish you all the best.

[@FullHeartMommy]

Whew you’re on a roll with the videos! I love it!

[@marianachiwaletchikanha8269]

Thank you so much for your support. 💖💖💖💖💖 From Angola🇦🇴🇦🇴

[@RevelationsUnveiledDetroit]

Attractive women don't seem to be consumed by dating barriers or other petty vanities. Beauty is in the Hand of the BeHolder....

[@productjunkie1018]

Tbh if your a gorgeous darkskin black woman you won't have an issue attracting a man of a different race 💁🏾

[@Victoria-bo9xk]

This comment assumes any non black man is good enough for any black female as long as they're attractive

[@Lia_Alexis]

Please don’t stop making these videos. I love them!

[@dawud8538]

I like lightskin ladies, my preference.

[@ravinj8625]

they really hated Megan markle!!! lol

[@pennyduncan2002]

And she was only half black

[@APBT3chnoM0nkey]

I feel your pain, dark skin women but what is the alternative. If guys aren't attracted to dark skin, they aren't attracted to dark skin. What you wanna do? Force them to change? I get that it sucks, same goes for redheads with freckles, they aren't popular among men either, but hey what do you do?

[@pinkgal206]

You’re not even black... stfu

[@chikaka2012]

Thank you so much for clarifying that you can discuss something with passion without it being part of your personal experience. It’s not all about us (individually)!

[@BrooklynGRITS78]

LMBO@"Congratulations." So funny.

[@MGA719]

I grew up on the streets of Chicago and every since I was in the third grade everyone called me ugly0(because Im dark skin) even my adopted family I had low self-esteem for a long time I living in there eyes not my own so I choose knowledge cause I couldn't cope with shaming 🤔🤔😣😣

[@anuncolonizedmind6296]

when u think & feel a certain way, u are putting energy out into the universe & get back what u put out. i don't have those issues either, not because i'm pretty, but because i don't put out the energy of lack. whatever thoughts & feels u give your energy too, will keep manifesting for u.

[@blutulip5587]

You are beautiful! And your theorizing is apt and wonderful!

[@kennethferland5579]

I notice how rarely darker skinned black women are shown in commercials vs an apparent new 'standard' young, vivacious, light skinned, thin and conventionally attractive black woman. Walking around in the real world you can see that only a small proportion black women have that skin tone, but if you saw a TV commercial (not necessarily TV shows that's different) you would think most black women were that tone. Likewise in said commercials when an inter-racial couples are shown on TV it's almost invariably lighter skinned blacks who are paired with a white partner, also not representative of real couples I see on the street. This is a trend I've noticed in the last decade or so, which was also when showing inter-racial couples in a TV commercial started to become normal, but their is still something holding it back from realism, and it's not that advertisers don't want to have any blackness near their product cause you see plenty of commercials for food/car/medicine/insurance etc in which an entirely black family is using the product. It just seems to be a hesitancy to put blacks close to whites, what kind of reasoning is involved? I suspect they are operating on some kind of test-marketing that shows someone being turned off by more realistic portrayals.

[@nicolemcqueen4338]

I’m glad you’re addressing the most ignored intersection lol level of attractiveness...everyone has their specific privilege and will use it against the less privileged. This is why there can be no real coalition amongst black women. They don’t like “ugly” girls, fat girls, lesbians, masculine girls and whatever else. They blame them for not fitting a certain image EVEN while knowing what it’s like to have most everyone against you for some shit you can’t control. Just foolish..and discouraging

[@sharr630]

I've really got to applaud you - your videos are so insightful and in-depth. There can't be more than a handful of KZbinrs who are actually enriching the conversation with their content and you are definitely one of them! :)

[@pilgrimagepostprison1569]

omg...when you talked about 'is it really there?' that's how i felt when i took a black feminist theory course. it was the first time i'd heard my feelings about being a black woman in america verbalized. i just discovered your channel and i love it, love your content.

[@reallyitsjackiev.meadows7578]

This is a whole read......lol......chyle we can blow this out from a loud speaker!!!

[@beesnees3070]

Honey, I don’t think it’s our color, it’s our Attitude!

[@honeysuckle27]

you're my favorite youtuber. Thank you for the work you're doing!

[@gillianespinoza3652]

I love this video, thank you for the insight and information.

[@JohnnyRoseofVersailles]

What do looks have to do with dating anyway? My sister is absolutely gorgeous in my eyes but by society's standards she's a bit chubbier than what society considers a pretty woman. I fall on the line of what society considers pretty. And yet she's been in a relationship for over 15 years and I'm single. So nothing to do with looks and nothing to do with personality either. I'm a nurturerer in my relationships and a great girlfriend but still struggling to find that guy who is willing to stay and gice back. It's all about luck. As for the original issue, just the fact that black women and Asian men are the least swiped left on tinder is an evidence of racial bias.

[@Acord718]

As a Latino I have it difficult too. I am Puerto Rican and light skin. I am not accepted by white people and I am not accepted by my own people. So it's difficult for me to find someone to date. I have been told that I am not an ugly guy. It is depressing to know that race and ethnicity plays a big role in the dating world. Most women where I am from want white men or black men.

[@monaDJ139]

u are super duper deep and smart

[@Swest1]

Great informative information, we must build up instead of tearing down.

[@thequeen893]

New subscriber! And I love you, I’ve watched you on Facebook & im glad you’re talking about the real deal. People don’t like anything that makes you feel “uncomfortable “ or makes you rethink traditional norms

[@ZakiaYasmine]

Hair tutorial please 😍

[@qyxxone]

Maybe it was my environment, but I really was not too concerned with colorism when I was growing up. I only had problems with my body issues. Oh I was aware that some men preferred light-skinned women but I saw a lot of men who just liked women.

[@A.J.8.8.8]

I love how smart you are and how brilliantly you articulate your thoughts. We need more bright and out spoken women like youuuu!!! ❤❤❤ yes Queen!

[@TechwoodPosse]

Love you for this video and the eloquent manner in which you express your point of view. Great job sister!

[@APBT3chnoM0nkey]

I gotta be honest, as a guy, the physical appearance of black girls is barely a thing for me. It's more so black culture and the way they speak sometimes, it's got to do with being black but nothing with their physical appearance, you don't choose your skin. You do choose how you behave, what you wear and how you talk. Doesn't seem racist to me, but feel free to argue otherwise

[@pinkgal206]

Stfu... like somebody cares what you think

[@tuhimerameraa1]

@@pinkgal206 then why reply

[@OfficialTechnician]

The sentiment that Rayne Jadis shares in terms of not finding black men attractive is far more common than some people like to lead on. Her opinion is completely fine, but if it were a black man saying this then his stated preference would be denounced as nothing more than a black man fetishizing over non-black women due to heavy social conditioning. This may not be the general consensus amongst BW but It is definitely more common than many would like to believe, particularly BW from middle-class backgrounds (from my personal experience)

[@jasanaujila734]

Everybody is ugly. Humans are literally just a bag of bones covered with skin and fat. Which is one day going to end up beneath the ground looked up in a box. The true beauty is in nature. Plants, hills, flowers, lakes, mountains, and streams. This the best creation on earth. All of us are going to die one day but these things are everlasting. Most of them dont need any kind makeup or fancy cover to make them beautiful. All of them are so imperfect yet so pretty.

[@bescuit]

She said she won't go back and forth with people on the internet, then goes back and forth with people on the internet lol

[@geleyaloveless2470]

It sucks knowing that just because I was born a black female..... I can never find love 😔

[@vernoniqueomosanya8931]

You will sis I'm 42 never found true love I haven't given up hope neither should you