"I'm An Asexual With A HIGH S*x Drive" Trans Guy Reacts To Cringe Asexual TikToks

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[@ninahutchinson5492]

I actually identified as asexual for about 1.5 years, when I was around 18-19. I’m 21 now. I felt this way because I’ve never had any interest in sex at all. People around me would talk about sex and their sex lives a lot, and I just felt super out of place because I thought to myself “Why is everyone so interested in sex except for me?” When I found out about asexuality, the definition I found online was “…has little to no interest in sexual intercourse,” so I thought hey! That must be me! And for about a year and a half, I fully believed I was asexual and even came out to family, friends and a few classmates. But then I eventually came to realize that I could just have a low sex drive, and that I’ve never even thought of this possibility before. Right now I’m 21, gonna turn 22 this year, and I’ve recognized that I just had a low sex drive, and that some people just need a bit longer to feel interested in sex and the idea of having sex. I will say that I don’t agree with the “it’s not a thing” comments, because I do believe asexuality is a thing! It’s just not who I am. Yeah, that’s all

[@sonamorningstar]

Actually it is not a thing. You said yourself "i had low sex drive".

[@Awesomespade3]

@@sonamorningstar great grand study of one person.

[@LudmilaT.]

Asexuality is a different word for the same thing.

[@JayDay04]

Yeah same. Dated at 15 years old, thought I was asexual because I didn't feel a thing (yeah, not even while kissing). Turns out I came to develop my sex drive one year later and after I broke up, at 16 years old. Sometimes you're just a late bloomer, has low sex drive, or is simply not interested in sex at all. I believe it's very hard to truly know if you're asexual unless some good amount of time passes.

[@cajunking5987]

A lot of teenage girls seem to go through this it’s weird

[@silkyjohnson3346]

I'm a meat-eating vegan. It comes with all the ethical swag of having a stance without any of the conviction.

[@heimirjosefsson510]

My meat comes from grass fed cow -- a vegan cow. Therefore my meat is vegan.

[@gypsylee333]

I'm a virgin hoor

[@fey__3919]

@Angie lmao I'm a vegan... because my brain and heart love animals... but I also eat meat quite alot. But meat eating is on a spectrum so 🤷‍♀️

[@belladolce85]

😂🤣😂🤣

[@kozume_miko]

that is so funny

[@raistlin_allen]

I'm asexual. Have had my hormones checked (normal), have no past trauma, not on the autistic spectrum- just never experienced sexual attraction to another person. I find the thought repulsive, always have. I do masturbate but it took me years to even realize what I was doing was masturbating because I do so atypically and didn't relate my actions to sex in my mind. It just felt good and never left me wanting or felt like a placeholder for anything. I have no desire to engage in romantic relationships either- what they call 'aro ace' nowadays. I'm in my thirties for context. I don't feel like there's anything missing or 'wrong'; It's just how I've always been. Growing up I assumed everyone felt the same and was only into sex and dating because it made them feel 'adult.' Obviously realized that was not the case and that I was the outlier here LOL I wouldn't classify it as LGBT but the isolation and misunderstanding/disbelief in our existence can mirror what has been felt by ppl in that community, so I understand why some asexuals might feel that affinity. I do agree the labels have gotten out of control and I don't understand how it's possible for someone to want sex with a partner and be asexual. Seems like an oxymoron to me, and that the people in question probably just have a lower sex drive.

[@LeeIsOnline]

Agreed

[@frostedmelon4992]

Jeez I basically did this comment and should have read further down. Then I simply could if said 'yes I'm the exact same way with the exact same thoughts and sound like the exact same person as you'. Lol. Bar labelling myself as asexual cos I dislike labels. I don't hide how I feel I just don't want to be part of the axe community which is full of craziness. And trends. Tsk. Why didn't I read further down.

[@gyounce1]

Yes, it's stupid that people have to find reasons and excuses for aesexuality, but not for homosexuality or transgenderism. It's all unnatural because none of us can reproduce as dictated by nature, but we are the only ones who need to provide answers.

[@lizzyluv96]

Asexuals can want sex with a partner, because there's multiple reasons for wanting sex besides attraction. Attraction is usually the main reason for most people, but it's hardly the only one. To illustrate- If you lost your sense of taste, do you think you'd still wanna eat?

[@roralyn]

@@gyounce1 I mean, it'd be okay if they want to converse with us, but I get you. They lay onto us a bit which is kinda disappointing... It's literally the same treatment they've gotten lol

[@Hikari7775]

Asexuality isn't about not wanting to have sex, it's about not experiencing sexual attraction. I know it's hard for sexual people to understand the difference, because to them, the two are linked, but imaging a straight man in a world without women. He would still have a sex drive/get horny (wanting to have sex) but not find anyone attractive because he's straight and everybody around him is a man (he's not sexually attracted to anyone).

[@Skylover1]

@@amandak.4246 Agreed, sexual behaviour is different to sexual attraction. Many asexual people will have sex because that's what romantic partners expect of them. Perhaps asexuals shouldn't have sex if they don't want to, but at the same time, it's a sexual world we live in so you can understand why some would do it.

[@samanthaw8837]

This is a good explanation

[@HollyRhiannonWrites]

Yes, thank you.

[@gothica3605]

*clap*

[@BeeCHee87]

great analogy! I'm disappointed that Marcus seemed to do little to no research before making this video.

[@thepickledpixie9052]

True asexuals exist. I'm 51 so I reckon I'm a fully fledged adult now. 😆 No trauma, no religious influence, raised with a healthy attitude towards sex and good sex ed. I am asexual. I got in relationships, married and had kids because that's just what you were expected to do. I have experienced 'good sex' and I can finish with no issues. I just don't care. Completely indifferent. I can think of a million things more interesting to do. And yes, I had my hormones checked. It was the first port of call, particulatly pre internet before anyone knew asexuality was a thing. We just thought we were broken. Perfectly normal hormones. People have a hard time wrapping their heads round it, I know. They understand if you're attracted to the opposite gender, the same gender or all. They don't understand a complete lack of attraction but I can assure you it's a thing. We're just born that way.

[@sophiefilo16]

Yeah, I on't know why people want to lump this in with neopronouns and whatnot. The gatekeeping part is about whether demisexuals, "graysexuals", "fraysexuals", etc should be considered asexual. Anyone who thinks asexuals can't have sex at all or don't experience even aesthetic attraction (for instance, "that guy is cute but I have no desire to have sex with him") should not speak out on ace issues at all because they don't know what they're talking about. Yes, asexuals can ave sex. Just like how gay men can have sex with women. Just like how men who haev sex with men in prison didn't "turn gay". If you rub someone where it feels good, they're going to get off regardless of whether they're attracted to you or not. And on the topic of hormones, they're the reason why I previously thought I was aceromantic but still sexual. When I started taking birth control to manage my periods, I had ZERO desire for sex and realized it was just my body trying to get me pregnant. So many asexuals out there don't realize they're ace because their hormones want something different from the rest of them...

[@kellylyons1038]

I agree but I dont think aro/ace people belong in the LGBT community. Demisexuals are especially annoying bc they think they're sooo oppressed for not wanting to have sex unless they are close to someone and yet....most people are like that. Not everyone is into hookup culture. You dont get a label or a cookie for being normal lol. Also i think being more interested in other things besides a sweaty physically exhausting and messy sex session doesnt make you so different that you deserve a label. A lot of ppl are like that too, especially later in life. But if you really think you need a quirky label/community go for it i guess?

[@shawncaamano1630]

Are you a man you have a tiny penis

[@TatyanaValdaBelindaHill]

This is a great explanation 👏🏼

[@1everydayperson]

I know a woman who is asexual.She has zero interest in sex. She's 100% healthy with no past trama.She doesn't even take solo flights! Yes we're very good friends and talk about everything.

[@NobodyxImportant]

Sounds like my situation. Idk why I’m like this but I just *am*

[@CatherineLee3000]

I wish people would just accept the fact that people can have no interest in sex (be asexual). Just let us be us. Being asexual is a thing. I am asexual.

[@Heavyisthecrown]

@@CatherineLee3000just leave you be? No one would ever say a word if you kept it to yourself 😂😂😂 you legit telling people is causing people to speak on it

[@psugal6477]

There was a time I was debating if I was asexual. I realized I just didn't like the hookup culture and hypersexualized society we live in. Plus, people are more accepting of ace people than religious beliefs. People call me a prude for being a Christian and saving myself for marriage, but they will support asexuality. Personally, I think you can be those definitions without using labels - especially when many people are just trying to marginalize themselves and seek attention.

[@shelbyspeaks3287]

Ace and aro people (in my opinion) have the biggest cross-over apeal, you can fluctuate between worlds.

[@robincasey1700]

I think media made it a bigger deal than I thought too, was always scared of not being sure I was ace or not but I just have a low labido but it's still there I just don't like sleeping round and I like the idea of saving yourself for someone it's makes it mean more and I wish it wasnt made fun of so much

[@gypsylee333]

I just wrote another comment how like all these "ace" people grew up in sex hating religions like Islam and Christianity.

[@joobebescorner1985]

Omg thank you im also Christian and this stuff just confuses me but I totally agree with you, yeah I think it's odd a nun is bad they're lying about not wanting to have sex. I've notice it's when ever one of us believers says we're not interested in sex we are lairs but then someone else can be like I'm not interested in sex but I have sex they believe them

[@megwalker8790]

THIS!! I plan to save myself for marriage, but people think that’s weird... meanwhile asexuality is just fine. Smh

[@truteń2002]

Being asexual and having trauma are two different things. Asexuality is about not feeling sexual attraction or not experiencing it often. People with trauma may still feel this kind of attraction without wanting to be in a relationship. People tend to think that asexuality IS the result of a difficult experience and it's simply not true. Some asexuals often get invalidated because of such statements.

[@truteń2002]

Also, some people with trauma tend to seek help to "fix" themselves in order to be able to have/maintain an intimate relationship.

[@jsksodjebebjbbhsjjryaakqwelops]

​@@truteń2002just because someone doesn't seek help doesn't Mena they sotn need it. People who seek help do so because they realize and acknowledge they have a problem, whether they like it or not.

[@jsksodjebebjbbhsjjryaakqwelops]

If being asexual has nothing to do with sexual attraction, then what does it mean? Because as far as definitions go, nobody seems to have a stable definition that's consistent, or has proff that this had actually proven to be a real thing.

[@truteń2002]

@@jsksodjebebjbbhsjjryaakqwelops And what's wrong with not being sexually attracted to anyone? It's a very intimate thing for everyone. I consider myself ace and for me it means I might like someone romantically, but I'm not intrested in having sex with them (except if we wanted to have a child). The reason why "everyone seems to have a different definition" is because sexuality is different for everyone, thus making it a spectrum.

[@jsksodjebebjbbhsjjryaakqwelops]

@tutel826 If you are asexual, you wouldn't be into any sex. If your only exception is when you want to procreate, then you clearly have a sexual orientation, and therefore not asexual.

[@blvdwika]

I'm 30, I have cptsd and I am someone you would call an asexual lesbian. I've been in a long lesbian relatioship with no sex. I've always wondered if my trauma and sexuality are connected, but I struggle to see any connection. However, I'm not ruling out any options. At this point I have no desire to become sexually active, so I feel good with being who I am. I have had my hormone levels checked many times and everything is great. I've never been sexually abused, my trauma is rooted in bullying and neglect. I don't care about people making assumptions and interpretations of my sexuality because that's just a small part of who I am. I don't care why I am who I am, I just try to be a better version of myself and to live my life in the best way possible.

[@roralyn]

I have CPTSD as well, and have never been sexualy abused either. To me, figuring out I'm an aromatic asexual was just finding an answer to why I could never relate to everyone else when it comes to love. I was troubled when I was younger, and it brought me some ease of mind. And like you, I'm always open to hearing what others think is the "cause". It's not a big deal. It's just a little part of us.

[@greenbeans9748]

Hi! I have PTSD from years of emotional abuse and a lesbian too! I lost my drive for about a year or so after the events that resulted in my PTSD, so I began to question myself too. Turns out I was just suffering from bad depression, anxiety, and didn't want to get too vulnerable with others again. Do you think the bullying could have something to do with it? Intimacy deals with relaxing around others to an extremity and putting a lot of trust into them. How are you supposed to love someone and feel a connection with them if you fear they'll turn on you and dump you at any second like the last person did? You don't wanna get hurt again and make your mental health worse.

[@scoobykitty]

I understand that you are happy,and that's great.(ok,here comes the but 😸) However,sex when you are in a relationship can bring you even closer. If you aren't seeing a sex therapist,maybe you should try it. Of course,you can live a full and happy life without sex,but sex with the right person can bring your relationship to a whole new level. Plus,it's lots of fun.

[@nerpderper]

whenever i am very stressed, it completely kills my sex-drive, so a trauma-disorder like cptsd where the system is in constant fight or flight, i can imagine could kill it as well. I have known others with cptsd who still had a sex drive though, so it's not a given that it will happen i guess. Youre attitude around it sounds healthy though, we can't always know for sure what the cause is when it comes to our fears, desires and so on.

[@ASMRyouVEGANyet]

It's definitely connected. I put myself through therapy and now have very high self-esteem and now I'm not asexual. It's a mental thing. Please, do yourself a favor and get to the root of it. You're denying yourself and your partner a whole world of pleasure and depth to your relationship. I'm not saying this in a scolding way, but to show you how much you're missing. It's so beautiful to share physical love with someone you're committed to.

[@kentuckywildcatgobigblue7190]

It took me years to realize I was asexual. Yes I did date (briefly) and I did have sex. Of course I wasn't into it. Honestly, I thought I was broken lol. My sex drive was literally non existent.

[@HollyRhiannonWrites]

It's such a tricky thing because, as someone who is also ace and had a hard time figuring that out because I also thought I was broken, I wish there was some more awareness and discussion about it. I think I could have avoided a lot of mental and physical discomfort if I had understood what being asexual was, knew that it had a name, knew that it was ok, etc. However, with the way sexualities (or lack thereof) are discussed in the world these days... I think I'm good with it staying in the shadows. Please let it stay in the shadows lol

[@homakbi007]

I've heard this from a lot of people.

[@Nonahh3love]

I thought I was broken too hahah I was confused why I’m like a ghost when I’m a teenager

[@772amanda237]

Same here. I'd have sex in relationships but they never lasted long because I could never initiate sex. I have a child so it proves I've had sex at least once. But when I get asked why I'm single or told, "you're too pretty to be single" it annoys me. I don't want to be in a relationship with a man knowing a man's needs and me not being able to meet those needs. It wouldn't be fair to him. It took me a long time to realize that I am indeed asexual

[@AnyOtherName25]

I have awful health anxiety and a lot of sex-related triggers. My health anxiety is focussed on the idea of cervical cancer (wrongly told I had pre cancer cells when younger and had to have colposcopy and biopsies which absolutely scarred me - and was completely unnecessary) so all I can think about is whether I’ll bleed and it’ll surely signify cancer. I also have weird performance concerns following a birth injury (husband says all is good but I still am self conscious). So yeah - for me I guess I have symptoms of asexuality but mine is trauma/mental health problem.

[@bluephionex7119]

Hence, why I'm embarrassed to tell people I'm asexual. Yes, the biological urge is there, but I've never had it directed towards a person; or experienced a sexual attraction.

[@cradica]

I kind of felt the same way. Except once I did feel like getting intimate with a girl, but she was a bit delusional and kept saying we were related.

[@tenebraequeene]

As an actual asexual, I don't claim them. I'm asexual and sex repulsed. Sure I have fantasies, as any human would (I'm not a robot after all) but the idea of sex or seeing extreme sexual content makes me ill. I will quite happily live as a virgin and die as one.

[@dollyzberich]

I’m very curious and have some questions. Have you felt this way since you were young (when puberty stared) or did something happened to make you feel this way? And also, does it mean that if you are interested in someone, you feel no attraction whatsoever in a sexual way? Not even fantasize about the person? I wonder if it’s comparable with just having no interest in sex (not seeing it as something disgusting tho) or really being repulsed by the idea of intimacy. English isn’t my first language so sorry if i might sound rude or repeating myself a little 😅

[@Silveirias]

@@dollyzberich Not the same person, but in my case, nothing happened to me. I just have never felt sexually attracted to anyone. Watching my friends to start go crazy about boys and celebrities confused me and I could not relate to them at all and still cannot. I've asked people to describe what it feels like to be sexually attracted to someone and I have never experienced anything like that. It doesn't mean I can't find someone good looking and feel something, but it's more like saying "yes, this painting is beautiful" when you see a really beautiful piece of art. I would still like to have a partner to share my life with (and I know I want this person to be a man, I could not imagine doing this with a woman) and have kids, but I don't think I'll ever be able experience sexual attraction.

[@xypaisb8026]

@berrii ♡ ! This is actually pretty common, it has nothing to do with being asexual. I've had several crushes in the past and I was never sexually attracted to any of them, never tried to pursue any of them, most of the time I just liked the idea of crushing on someone or I found that particular person visually appealing/cute. I have never looked at a person and thought "I would like to sleep with them" or imagined myself in sexual scenarios w them. Most people do not want to have sex with strangers, that's just normal

[@Paula-um3js]

"as any human would" lmao guess I'm not one then haha. I'm so repulsed even the thought of it is disgusting to me, let alone having fantasies including me in them. No thank you. (for context, no I wasn't abused as a child and don't have any past trauma. Was this way since the first day I learned what sex is)

[@sweetgirl3893]

Same slay queen! 😍

[@candicantsleep]

The dictionary is just out the window with these people, isn't it?

[@Ktakahashi18]

Yup...out the window into a fire turned to ashes and buried 6 feet deep with grandma. Oy 🙄

[@dustinmartin2369]

Yup and as soon as you figure out what something means they will change it on you again. Confusion is a feature not a bug.

[@JohnnyTromboner]

Newspeak is real

[@JR-yz7de]

Yep…war is peace…right is wrong…up is down…we are really living in dystopian times

[@maskure5606]

I'm meat eating vegan 🤣

[@HybrydaArt]

A bit sad to hear it... Ace is a thing. I don't go deep into labels but I'm what you might call Aro Ace. No romantic feelings toward other people, no sexual attraction to other people. Never got any trauma so I'm just that. Not interested. Ace folks are invisible bc we just live our lives. There are no problems like body dysmorphia or dating people of the same sex. I'm over 30 so I'm pretty sure done growing up and I'm happy the way I am X"D

[@nickeni3050]

Exactly bro, real ones exist😭😭... I'm also aro-ace, my attraction for people has never surpassed an aesthetic one, I look at hot, beautiful or sexy people the way I look at an interesting design or pretty landscape. All my first relationships didn't last long simply because I lost interest way too fast since I'm not actually attracted to them, but that was then, I later started attaching myself to more aesthetically pleasing people because while I don't see them romantically I still admire and adore their beauty enough to want to cherish them The asexual part of me is simply me not having a desire for sex, like when a normal person sees the one they like and are attracted to seducing them they'd feel like doing the deed, but in my case someone that I'm aesthetically attracted to tries to seduce me? I'd feel like putting them in artistic poses, doing kinbaku on them or just drawing them.. Basically, my brain's definition of a lover is " muse"

[@Heavyisthecrown]

If you guys didn’t tell anyone and just kept your sex stuff to yourself no one would know, or be able to comment on it 😂

[@angora6881]

Oh no! I'm asexual and I'm scared to watch the video 😭but to clarify some points as I come across them: 0:20 asexuality is not "not wanting to have sex", it's not being attracted to neither man nor woman (like the total opposite of bisexuality) 1:02 yes, sexual attraction has nothing to do with libido, let's say you're gay but you're only surrounded by women. You will have a sex drive but find nobody attractive, because you are not attracted to women (and thus be frustrated) 1:25 an asexual person who is sex-positive is just someone who enjoy to have sex, but don't find anyone attractive (don't ask me how) 6:49 I also often ask myself is there is a link with autism, it would be nice to have more scientific studies on the subject To conclude, I think the need for an asexual community comes from the hookup culture and the stigma of being seen as weird or broken if we don't want to participate in it. I also heard of hurtful things people say to openly asexual people like "I can fix you" (yeah sure) or even "corrective" rape... (and also, sometimes people assume that if you're not attracted to men nor women, then you must be attracted to children or animals... like... no please...)

[@Silveirias]

Thank you for this comment. It took me forever to understand and wrap my head around what asexuality is and whether or not I am one because this was always poorly explained or misunderstood.

[@Awesomespade3]

Glad to have read this comment in the midst of the madness of this place!

[@ChelseyChannel]

Thanks for this, it's interesting. The idea of corrective rape is horrifying!

[@Ash-72]

Very valid points, and I'm happy you commented. Especially in a non-aggressive way. Just stating the facts as you see them.

[@roralyn]

@@wallytwit2951 aroace is short for aromantic asexual. Asexual people can have romantic attraction. They mostly don't.

[@evilcookie6399]

Sexual attraction and sex drive are two different things...

[@jsksodjebebjbbhsjjryaakqwelops]

Doensr change the fact that being Asexual is a term to disguise real problems.

[@cradica]

Now, I'm beginning to question if I wanted sex because I was horny or attracted to someone. Like, how do you tell the difference?

[@maidenofiron]

I'm gonna confess something: I thought I was asexual in my early twenties all because I dealt with a crappy ex and felt nothing towards him. Once I met my boyfriend, who I absolutely adore, turns out I'm actually straight.

[@lunalumanis4117]

I-....you can be asexual and straight.

[@llauoykcuftube]

I also thought that I am asexual in my teens and early twenties, but it was because of lack of love from my family (showing emotions was a sign of weakness) and low self esteem (constant undermining of my abilities by my family)

[@swankissankrouge3625]

@@llauoykcuftube did you feel any sort of attraction to others back then? Or only after a strong bond? Were you repulsed by sex / relationships?

[@llauoykcuftube]

I kinda felt attraction to men, I had my highschool crushes, but was unable to even start a conversation with men I wasn't repulsed by sex, it was just so unimaginable for me

[@maidenofiron]

@@lunalumanis4117 Yeah, I know that but I knew I wasn't after a while. I'm just straight. I was twenty one when it happened

[@eliselighten9531]

Bro what's with the "rEaL tRaNsExUaLs" hating on asexuals 💀

[@Stubbino]

Like any hate, it stems from a lack of understanding. Within the first minute it became blatantly obvious he just didn't understand the subject.

[@dankraus2772]

As a self-described asexual, I have never, not once in my life, met another asexual who I can relate to. I do not experience sexual attraction, I am not interested in sex, I have never had the desire or even idea to have sex once, and in fact I literally only found out about it in middle-school sex-ed. I experience no romantic inclinations either, I've never even had a crush. Not one other "asexual" I know of falls into that category, and I feel like an abnormality in my own community. Not that I'd be welcomed anyway- I also don't consider it an orientation or an identity that needs its own flag and activism and such. It's clearly just something that went wrong with my wiring. It's not something to cry about or be ashamed of, it just is what it is. But the idea of living alone my whole life doesn't thrill me, and if I knew what was causing it I'd set about to have it fixed. The flag is also a deal-breaker for me. Purple? Really? The hell am I gonna wear that with?

[@Pico_Captain]

Hey, I actually relate to you! I'm asexual (and aromantic) like it's supposed to be, no attraction at all, and it used to be great back in the day. Then, the spectrum people came in and the whole community went down the drain. It's hard to find actual asexuals nowadays, people who use the label most of the time mean demi or something else. My old community is filled with demis, which I don't think should be an ace-related thing at all, but a hetero, homo, etc thing with the need for emotional connection. How is it considered ace-related nowadays is beyond me.

[@xypaisb8026]

You're not broken or wired wrong you just have a low sex drive...

[@Pico_Captain]

@@xypaisb8026 asexual people do exist, we're just very very very rare. My hormones are okay and I'm in my late twenties. I have never felt attracted to someone else, and whenever friends talk about how hot people are I can never relate. From your perspective this may sound impossible, but that's how it's been. Demi and all those "spectrum" guys are another can of worms, however.

[@TheAmbulatingFerret]

"I have never, not once in my life, met another asexual who I can relate to." I relate to this so much. I'm so tired of being called a gatekeeper when I call out someone for probably not being asexual when they have a high body count.

[@tsugaru-writings]

It seems like you haven’t met a bunch of them. Funny enough, me and my asexual friends agree with your thoughts. So-

[@Olivia3641]

“It’s called LGBT. Asexuality is not a sexuality.” Marcus is right! I also have autism, and I don’t want to be touched in some ways. That’s real and valid.

[@alinaptalanova]

On that point the T shouldn’t be there as well because it’s not a sexuality

[@dustinmartin2369]

LGBT is only unified in that they are all identity labels. If we were to only say sexualities then asexual would easily qualify as the zero point because we all start out asexual since it doesn't really manifest until puberty.

[@e_i_e_i_bro]

Asexuality + high sex drive makes about as much sense autistic + outstanding social skills 🥴

[@animalcrossingnerd8142]

@@alinaptalanova LGBT isn't just sexual attractions.

[@ninilondono9161]

@@animalcrossingnerd8142 come on, that’s what it comes down to.

[@lsdestroyer8624]

I have Asperger's Syndrome, and what you're saying about autism is dead on. And I appreciate you speaking out about that. I'm 37 (and a half) and I still feel like a child. It's wild being so wise beyond your years yet still mentally juvenile...

[@raccoonsarekewl]

as an asexual i don’t really think were LGBT. yes there is a lot of asexuals who identify as gay/lesbian/bi and ace but, i dont think we’re inherently lgbt

[@phillipjakediaz9783]

And they aren't straight either.

[@cradica]

I saw someone say if you don't think asexuals are LGBT you're homophobic

[@thefiredogcult9523]

I'm sorry I'm gonna have to disagree with stuff said towards the end if the video. If someone doesn't want to have sex it's no ones place to tell them whether thay should or not. Just live and let live it's not like asexual people are forcing you to not have sex just leave them be. I do however on a more positive note agree that to be asexual u must have a very low to no labito

[@ChelseyChannel]

Exactly, how is it harming anyone? I'm all about consent so the idea of pushing people to be sexual makes me really uneasy...

[@ThinWhiteAxe]

☝☝☝☝

[@ellfin2450]

Agreed. Asexuality is a valid thing. It's defined as the lack of sexual attraction/desire. It has been studied and observed. There's actually quite a few scientific journal articles on it and they're pretty interesting. It is (or was idk) believed approximately 1% of the population is asexual which makes it more common than transgenderism actually. It also doesn't necessarily mean autism or trauma (though both can and are common reasons) Though I agree with him that most the people using the word aren't actually asexual. There's a lot we don't understand about asexuality, but we do know there are people that don't experience sexual attraction.

[@valorie444]

yeah, I agree but I don’t lump it in with the LGB.

[@personalgoogleaccount9694]

@Chelsey-Ann Stuart it's because it's never that simple. These people do have sex and want to. They want to engage in the same behavior that everyone else does, while still keeping the "original and unique ™️" title. They aren't harmful per se but or annoying AF when they cry and whine about not being taken seriously

[@skeptic-psychic]

I have a family friend who was never attracted to women so he thought he was gay. He tried being gay, but was not attracted to men either. So, he came to the conclusion he was Asexual. He came to this conclusion back in the late 90's, so I don't think he was jumping on a trend. I do believe there can be people who are truly asexual, but not at the extent as people are claiming it today.

[@CurbHopper111]

I find a lot of people who are claiming the label recently think they're asexual because they have low libido, or a medical or physical insecurity issue that makes them not want to have sex, or they have a mental health struggle that makes them scared of sex. Few seem to understand that it's just about attraction like the other sexualities. They never do a google search and are quick to throw a label on themselves. They assume it means lack of sex based on the word alone, or what other people are saying about it. But I think we already have a word for that. Wouldn't celibate cover it? Maybe it's too much of an old fashioned word that they haven't heard of?

[@daisykisses8803]

Yeah. People nowadays are not taking the concept of it seriously. It seems like they are trying to broaden it just so they can feel included in a community they don’t belong in.

[@Heavyisthecrown]

So how did this person end up? Did they end up with a family? Having children? How does life look when your not 20 anymore I wonder

[@akodaah13-e32]

Literally the first concep of asexuality was called "monosexual"

[@xoxoamazingful]

I'd love your thoughts on being demisexual. I think needing a romantic attraction to have sex with someone is normal for many (most?) women, but it's seen as out of the box now because hookup culture is the norm

[@Kat_Fe]

@@amandak.4246 Not really, actually. I'm a very introverted woman who generally doesn't like strangers getting too close to me physically and the idea of sleeping with a stranger or someone I don't know that well, letting him touch me and sharing such an intimate moment repulses me completely. I've never in my life felt the urge to have sex with a guy that I don't know, it's not something that I have to "control", the urge is simply not there. And I know many other women who are like this, it's really not that rare among us, especially those on the introverted side. The hookup culture has messed up a lot of people's perception of what is natural and turned the lack of urge to jump into bed with a stranger into some kind of anomaly...

[@gothica3605]

@@Kat_Fe you know what's ironic about all of this? About 80% of the ace community are females. Male asexuals are actually more rare.

[@Kat_Fe]

@@gothica3605 That doesn't surprise me at all! And it's interesting that many of the asexuals I've met online over the years were also women with an emotionally unavailable father and/or body imagine issues. It seems to me that many of them are people who are either 1. Completely "normal" just don't feel the urge to jump every good-looking person they encounter or 2. Those who have mistaken some internal struggle and issues for asexuality in a similar way that the detransitioners do with gender identity.

[@Nokyyyyy]

@@gothica3605 I've seen plenty of us ace boys on reddit, but I must admit what I've seen (or more accurately, noticed) A LOT were non binary aces and other kinds of genders I'm sorry I'm not good at it

[@lizzyluv96]

Idk Why the internet in general focuses so much on the word demisexual? It's just one small label amongst a spectrum of others

[@cariaus3758]

I have a good friend who I think is asexual, he's never put a label on it. He is still a virgin at 26, he's had girlfriends because he is attracted to women, but more in an aesthetic and romantic way. He has tried to have physical contact with them because they all want to convert him, but he can't. He often jokes about sex he finds it very funny, he can't quiet grasp what all the hype is about. I've known him for 8 years and we often talk about this, I've even asked him if there was a possibility, he could be gay since he doesn't find women sexuality attractive and he said no, he just never has any sexual urges with anyone. These people are not asexual, they just want attention. Sexuality is on a spectrum, we are not just animals that will have sex with anybody, we are all different. If you have had sex and enjoyed it, you're probably NOT asexual.

[@ginagruber1732]

Low sex drive or libido can also be a medical condition. It can be a side effect of medications or hormones or age. And lots of people just don't have initial sex drive and need time to reach that comfort level before feeling that desire.

[@Elizabeth42069]

menopause, it changes everything 😑 would rather play video games and read these days, i feel like im broken somehow!

[@NamiHeartilly]

I think it can also be genetic without being a side effect of something else.

[@vegetaismydad5382]

This is true. This also has nothing to do with asexuality. You are talking about hypoactive sexual desire disorder. It is a completely separate issue independent from asexuality. There are asexuals with normal hormone levels, no medical conditions, not on any medications, and have consistently felt the same way from their teen years to well into their 30s. I am such a person. I have had romantic relationships. I was simply not sexually attracted to nor did I sexually desire any of the individuals I was with romantically. I've also had sex. I didn't enjoy it and only did so for my partner's enjoyment and to bond emotionally, not sexually. Physiologically, I experienced no pleasure from the act, it was just a neutral feeling. I was only romantically attracted to them, which has nothing to do with sex and everything to do with emotional and mental connections that go beyond platonic friendships. If this sounds confusing, ask yourself this: do you consider people who have sexual relationships without emotional connections or romantic attachments to people "normal" (see friends with benefits)? If so, why is it that you're able to consider those people and their feelings valid, but not the literal inverse of that situation?

[@amandalovatsis]

​@@vegetaismydad5382 Thank you for this comment. After having read through a lot of other comments here, I personally do find this a little confusing in some ways, but I appreciate hearing your perspective. The thing is, and I think the issue people take with these things, is that it seems as though so many people are claiming a label these days without any further investigation. You mentioned that there are asexuals who, by all accounts and on all other fronts, are perfectly healthy and therefore seem to genuinely just be asexual ("normal hormone levels, no medical conditions, not on any medications" etc.). However, it seems as though people are hearing descriptions of what it may mean to be asexual, finding that they relate to some of the feelings, and then calling themselves asexual. But it's not that easy and shouldn't be done that way. Have they looked into these aspects that you listed, such as their hormones and other? It's like when doctors tell you not to google your symptoms. Having a cough doesn't necessarily mean you have bronchitis or covid or strep throat. Having a possible "symptom" of asexuality (that could also be attributed to multiple other causes/diagnoses) does not automatically make you asexual. I hope my explanation was understandable.. no disrespect or offense intended.

[@CurbHopper111]

@@amandalovatsis I think a lot of people are just misunderstanding what asexuality is. Both people who are quick to claim the label, and the people who make fun of it. It's only lack of sexual attraction to both genders. Nothing more. However, there is a higher percentage of asexuals who experience things like low libido and aromanticism than is what seems to be in the general population (though I actually think aromanticism is much higher in gen pop than the few people finding and claiming the label). This could be part of what's leading people to misunderstand it. They see asexual people talking about having low libido. They have low libido too, and they don't want to have sex. So they assume they're asexual. However, they may actually have sexual attraction. Perhaps their attraction to people is not very prominent to them since they're not thinking about sex most of the time. Or (and I've seen this one loads of times recently), they're very aware of their sexual attraction but are unaware that means they're not asexual, because they think it just means low libido or not having sex for whatever other reason. Another thing is these people are often young. 16 and below. Then they hit 20 and their libido increases and they're into romance. Pretty normal for most growing people. But then suddenly they realize they're not "asexual" anymore. Yeah ok lol.

[@HollyRhiannonWrites]

Okayyy here we go. Hopefully I don't regret opening up about this. I don't generally like to blather about my asexuality online, though I do make it clear to friends and family that I'm an open book if they have questions. Also let me just preface this with stating that I just posted my first tiktok today for a business I work for and do not frequent the app *at all*. I'm not Gen Z. I am an "elderly" 33 year old 😂 So, Asexuality can relate to trauma, hormonal imbalance, autism etc. but there are absolutely people out there who are just born ace, myself included (you can even ask my Mom, it was clear verrry early on once I figured it out as an adult and she and I backtracked and examined my past - plus, it runs in our family which I think is interesting **and no this wasn't told to me so that I mentally developed with that knowledge. Learned after the fact). I have had LGBT friends try to welcome me into the fold but I don't see asexuality as something that fits under that umbrella. Like you said, it's not about sexuality. It's about lack of sexuality. I will point out however that while much of the spectrum thing is questionable, there are a couple clear angles of it that are legitimate and not something that developed with woke culture. Asexuality vs Aromanticism. Asexuality in its simplest form just means you do not experience sexual attraction. This is me. Aromantics do not experience romantic attraction, but can still have interest in sex. I can't speak on that much since that's not me. Sometimes these things merge. And honestly, I wish that was the case with me lol Because of my interest in having a romantic partner, I spent many years thinking I was somehow broken (and yes, getting medical tests - all good there) when really I just didn't experience sexual attraction. As stated by @Everglade: "Asexuality isn't about not wanting to have sex, it's about not experiencing sexual attraction. I know it's hard for sexual people to understand the difference, because to them, the two are linked, but imaging a straight man in a world without women. He would still have a sex drive/get horny (wanting to have sex) but not find anyone attractive because he's straight and everybody around him is a man (he's not sexually attracted to anyone)." ^ I would guess that a low libido is also common with asexuality too though, because I don't experience sexual attraction and I also don't have sexual urges. When I have been intimate with partners it is because that is how I saw adult relationships. I was never being forced or anything like that luckily, but it's never something I would've initiated on my own. To wrap this novel up - I could have saved myself a lot of mental and physical anguish if I knew more about what I was experiencing, knew it had a name and knew that it was ok (I won't say normal because it's definitely not lol) - so part of me wishes there was more talk about asexuality. But at the same time, if that talk is like the tiktoks you're showing here.... I'm good without 😅

[@HollyRhiannonWrites]

To pre-emptively answer the matter of attraction in my case - think of how you look at a piece of art you like. You don't want to get down and dirty with that piece of art, but you really admire its aesthetics lol (Then, if that piece of art is a human who's brilliant and funny and who I get along with, I'll become romantically interested 🙃)

[@Yuukichan1888]

@@HollyRhiannonWrites I can't relate entirely because my orientation hit me like a freight train it seemed over night. But I had no inclination for sex or romance until about 2 years ago (I'm 25) I had relationships because that's "what your supposed to do" at my age and was intimate with partners but it wasn't sexual to me it felt more like a science experiment where your trying things and making notes on the results. I didn't feel pleasure during but it wasn't a bad experience or pressured I was curious and basically thought it was overrated. Since being heavily medicated for other issues I have a sex drive but being with another person immediately switches that off and back to a science experiment

[@NamiHeartilly]

I typed a long reply but KZbin keeps eating it. I give up XD But I agree with you 100%. People can definitely be born asexual.

[@Nokyyyyy]

This one has to be pinned. thank you !! And same for the piece of art (except I might be a bit repulsed by romantic stuff too. Hope it will change in the future, it feels like something I have an urge to get but might kill me if I fo get it)

[@AnyOtherName25]

It’s better to have zero sex drive imo, sexual attraction for me has always felt unpleasant, like something urgent needs doing but when it’s done it was pointless and shameful (I don’t think sex is shameful, I just have internalised shame around it from prudish upbringing). Without sexual attraction the mind is free to focus on important things. It seems to me that sex drive makes some people do awful things too

[@samantharoggelin1467]

“I’m gay but I have a very strong sexual attraction to women. I’m still gay though!!!”

[@srslee5966]

@@wendydarling8730 it doesn't

[@BeeCHee87]

terrible analogy

[@samantharoggelin1467]

@@BeeCHee87 both are sexualities so no it’s not a terrible analogy it’s just an analogy you don’t agree with.

[@vegetaismydad5382]

@@samantharoggelin1467 Your analogy doesn't make sense because asexuality is the lack of sexual attraction in the first place, not a lack of libido. No, they are not the same thing. Libido is strictly a physiological response that doesn't necessarily occur as a result of desiring sex with another person but merely desiring the physical sensation of having one's genitals stimulated to orgasm. People who experience sexual attraction (read: 99% of the human population) merely desire to have this genital stimulation occur with another person. Asexuals will typically just masturbate.

[@samantharoggelin1467]

@@Carossmo who says I think a sexuality doesn’t exist? Of course it exists it’s been a thing for centuries. It’s people like this that want to make it complicated.

[@nacoleinseoul2604]

I refer to myself as asexual. I don’t say I’m apart of LGBTQ+ but it’s an easy way to tell partners I’m not a sexual person. I think people get worked up and pushy about being asexual because people will shut us down and say we haven’t been with enough people, there’s something wrong with us, we’re lying, we had to have a traumatic experience, we didn’t have a good life growing up, toxic partners, partners were bad in bed, etc. I think you’re right that it could be a hormonal imbalance, but people are very certain it’s impossible I don’t want sex and tell me all these things to “fix” myself (usually by saying to have more sex) when I’m perfectly fine just being like this.

[@cradica]

I saw someone say that if you say aces aren't LGBT that makes you homophobic

[@eri_sama]

​@@cradicaeverything that doesn't affirm all the new made up sexualities (everything beyond straight/gay/bi/true asexuality) and genders and ideological statements coming out like hot muffins out of the oven of the self-obsession of the LGBTQIA+ community, is homophobic or transphobic or being a bigot or a TERF these days. so don't worry about it. they will hate you no matter what you do, unless you're an obedient little ally sucking up all they say.

[@e_i_e_i_bro]

I saw a post where someone was upset because the woman he married confessed to being "aromantic". People were mad at the guy for being upset, that the woman he married was not romantically interested in him. There is a psychic epidemic going on. People's humanity and critical thinking skills are piss poor.

[@Paula-um3js]

This is something you need to discuss before marriage, even at the beginning of relationship. Obviously it can be upsetting for somebody to know you will never feel any love or romantic feelings towards them.

[@e_i_e_i_bro]

@@Paula-um3js I don't understand why else you would get married tho. Like how do you wait until you're married to pull that.

[@Paula-um3js]

@@e_i_e_i_bro Yeah that's what I said. More likely she "realized" she made a mistake and didn't really love him

[@erviatangerine5108]

He was upset to find out she felt towards his the same way he felt towards her lol (because men don't love, if men didn't want sex, they would never marry)

[@elensila74]

Hi Marcus, I've discovered this channel only recently and I very much enjoy the calm and intelligent narrative. You're a voice of reason in the crazy world of identity politics and I love to hear your thoughts about all kinds of things. But this time I feel some disturbance in the Force about this particular topic and since I have some personal experience related to asexuality, I hope it's okay to share my opinion (and perhaps a bit even overshare my personal life) here. Maybe I'll be able to help with a few misunderstandings. So, asexuality is a sexual orientation, as in: heterosexuals are attracted to the opposite sex, homosexuals to the same sex, bisexuals to both sex, asexuals to no one. This is completely different from not wanting to have sex, this is not experiencing attraction to any person. However, it's really not that impossible to have sex without sexual attraction, especially if one's body answers to stimulus and can become aroused. Unfortunately for me, in particular, while sex is (or rather used to be) an interesting activity with my wife (I live in a same sex marriage), but it doesn't arouse me and I feel rather detached from the experience. Most importantly, I cannot reach a climax via physical stimulation either with a partner or in solo. Nonetheless, I know that my libido is still there, because sometimes certain fantasies are able to do the trick spontaneously. They just stop working if I give them a try in real life. Does it make sense? It doesn't really for me, to be frank. I hadn't even known that asexuality was a thing for 40 something years, only learned the words that match my life experience a few years ago. That means way after my wedding, by the way. I cannot say I'd dated a lot before I met my wife 12 years ago, but the handful times I tried, I almost always looked for a male partner. As strange as that is, this fact lets me say with great certainty that my success rate wasn't any better with guys, either. I'm not able to tell you why I am this way, but I certainly can tell why not: it's not because of any trauma and it's not any common mental illness I know of, either. I am a high functioning and pretty well balanced person, if I say so myself. People around me, outside of my closest family, don't know and cannot tell that I am asexual. My best guess is that it possibly can be caused by something similar to dysphoria, but instead of creating a dissonance between my physical appearance and inner feelings, it more or less disconnected me from my body. Based on my own case, having a high sex drive but not being able to become physically attracted to others does not sound so outlandish, but it sure sounds like a rather unpleasant place to be, if you ask me. As for those young ace people on Tiktok, it can be that some of them might be just confused or chasing a fad, some might be frightened of the physical changes and raging hormones of puberty and just trying to distance themselves. It still doesn't mean that genuine asexuals in general don't exist. We are estimated to make up about 1% of the world's population, but but we also happened to be the orientation that currently gets dismissed the most, probably. People often say it's a mental/emotional defect, or some effect of abuse or trauma, or just a phase, or you just haven't met the right partner yet, or that it's simply a life choice, or attention seeking. Must sound familiar to a lot of older lesbians/gays, these are the same excuses they used to hear a lot back in the time. Well, I won't give up the hope that with some luck, I can live long enough to be the proud owner of an generally accepted sexual orientation one day. Until that I just sit back and try to enjoy the ride, I guess :)

[@EarthDay86]

I identify as asexual because I don't find men or women attractive. I don't have sexual trauma. I'm not autistic. If I woke up one day and found the 1 person I found sexually attractive, I would be open to having sex with them. It's not about sex drive. It's about looking around the world and not seeing anyone that makes you feel turned on. It's really lonely and isolating. I don't identify with the LGBT community as our struggles are different. The best I can compare it to is being a heterosexual woman in a world with no men. That woman is probably interested having sex with someone but can't find a suitable partner as there are no men left. That woman may choose to have sex with other women as there are no men available (like people who do gay stuff in prison), but that women is only doing so as there are no better options.

[@johnnys-left-earring]

i have no problem with the concept of asexuality. i don’t understand it, but i respect it. you can’t help it if you genuinely do not feel any sexual attraction towards anyone.

[@sassyghost_8]

I can answer any questions you have. I’m asexual and I’ve been seeing a lot of people trying to make it more inclusive in ways that are detrimental and make no sense. I can clear up the water a bit if you’re ever curious. You are correct though that the primary part of being asexual is having no sexual attraction.

[@goneforever949]

Yeah I used to identify as ace and people would tell me there was something wrong with me but I never saw it as a problem or a mental illness since illnesses affect you negatively

[@alemunnoz]

@@goneforever949 well, it's not a problem. But as a human you're supposed to feel it. For someone, anyone. That's why it's wrong. But, as you said, it doesn't affect you and I don't think it's something we should be worried about or trying to fix (unless the ace person was abused or has some sort of trauma and that issue provoked this issue, then yes please fix it)

[@sassyghost_8]

@@alemunnoz When I first entered the asexual community, it was considered a stigma to conflate sexual abuse trauma with asexuality. This is because asexuality, like all other sexualities, was supposed to be naturally occurring. The other day I saw a new flag for “people who are asexual due to trauma” and I knew all was lost in this orientation.

[@silmaril8989]

... how... I'm so glad I've left the online ace community, my breaking point was "an asexual is someone who identifies as asexual" which means it's nothing basically (same as "a woman is someone who identifies as a woman") Circular definitions are meaningless! And if you disagree with that you're a bigot and "gate-keeper"...

[@cutecat4576]

My ex gf went by asexual lesbian and the relationship was horrible. I felt lead on. Anytime I tried to do couple things with her, not sexually but even just cute texts or FaceTimes, I’d get ignored. Miserable for months. After we broke up she came out as straight then non-binary queer she/they 😵‍💫 glad I dodged that bullet lol

[@rebeccaseppanen3767]

I used to think I was demisexual because I don't really feel like having sex with someone without knowing them or having emotional connection but I think that may just be normal to need to grow a connection with someone.

[@wentoneisendon6502]

thats just being normal. it doesnt need a sexuality label

[@Carossmo]

@@wentoneisendon6502 Nothing needs a label. I'm tired of all the different labels. It'd be best to remove the "straight" label too and just be human.

[@Carossmo]

@@amandak.4246 They did describe how demiaces go through it though. It happens to a majority of people. At least there's a name for it, even if others choose to not acknowledge it because it's too complicated for them and just wanna call it normal.

[@xypaisb8026]

@@amandak.4246 And both are completely normal and common...

[@vegetaismydad5382]

Demisexual is a direct byproduct of hookup culture run amok. Society has now become so disordered that people who don't feel the desire to hop into bed with the first person they meet and instead need an emotional connection with someone they're in a monogamous relationship with are now seen as outliers. This is why the divorce rate is so high. Too many people are getting married based primarily off of sexual attraction which dies down over time instead of romantic attraction founded on strong emotional connections. It's considered "normal and healthy" to only seek brief and hollow sexual relationships fueled solely by sexual attraction completely devoid of emotional attachments, but the inverse of that is indicative of "something wrong." Think about that for a moment.

[@MomsfavoriteDipshit23]

Asexuality is a sexuality. It doesn't matter if its actually a "lack" of sexual attraction, it can still be a sexuality. I've been Asexual my entire life. I've had no sexual desires ever. I never will. I don't have trauma. if you can be born with sexual attraction to the opposite sex then you can be born without the desire. I think you need to do actual research about Asexuality and talk to sane Asexual people. Not these mental tiktokers, speaking on behalf of the actual Asexual community, we dont claim them.

[@thepickledpixie9052]

Absolutely!

[@simplybri3608]

I would’ve never thought that gender and sex was so complicated

[@alemunnoz]

"You might be a vegan and eat meat sometimes, some vegans love cheese and some others love dairy queen, heck, some others even enjoy bullfights! If you're not a vegan you're not allowed to talk about what counts and does not count as vegan" All crap, just stupidity. Not even themselves know who they are anymore. I'm not into harassment directed towards them, I'd prefer therapy tbh.

[@JayDay04]

Lmao exactly my thoughts, great comparison

[@poogissploogis]

Veganism is the one group that isn't afraid to gatekeep lol. In that way I think the LGBT community should be a bit more like vegans.

[@lizzyluv96]

If you're gonna try and compare it to food- You can lack the sense of taste, but still eat food and feel hunger

[@jouuu6314]

@@lizzyluv96 careful with those words, you are comparing a very important necesity (eating), with something that is not absolutely necesary (sex). If you really thing that sex is as necesary as eating is for humans, you would be in some way justifying some (terrible) acts.

[@Clawdeencat]

@@jouuu6314 no, they could do it themselves and that's sex too. Sex is like food, but less needed and everybody needs a different amount. And no , that statement can't make it okay for abusers to be predatory, because a normal, well-adjusted person would just do it themselves if they can't find a partner.

[@shadowscribbler6100]

Ugh, THANK YOU!! I'm an actual asexual who doesn't like or seek out sex. I do have relationships sometimes but I try to do that with other asexuals. And you'd be shocked how many people I meet up with who claim to be ace and then tell me they have and enjoy sex and that it's definitely a possibility if we go further. Do words have no meaning anymore? They've subverted the definition of what was once an important label. And if they're gonna call me a gatekeeper for defending it, fine. I'll gatekeep all day. Asexuals. Do. Not. Want. Sex. And if you do, congrats! You're not ace and will probably live a much more fulfilling life.

[@iw9472]

The thing is having sex drive is not the same thing as enjoying it. I hate eating but that doesn't mean I can live without eating

[@asiaroderick3006]

Exactly this is why I don't use the label anymore because they always change

[@Laurap01]

You could not be attracted to other people but feel arousal. I get what the person means.

[@lizardfishbird]

It is possible to not experience sexual attraction but still have a libido. It’s important to remember that being aroused dose not necessarily equate sexual attraction. Physical sensation, hormones, and other factors can stimulate arousal, regardless of sexual attraction, which is what most people are referring to when they say they’re asexual with a high sex drive

[@whosebuilderandmakerisgod]

This is incredibly cringe. I’m probably on the furthest end of the “asexuality” spectrum. I am sex repulsed and have no desire for sexual activity alone or with people. I have crushes on both girls and boys without interested in getting under their clothes. If you enjoy sex, even if you aren’t attracted to the person you’re doing stuff with (like what the heck are you doing bruh), why do you even need to call yourself asexual. If you’re cool with sex with your partner than why is the label even necessary. Yes we need gatekeeping because WORDS HAVE DEFINITIONS

[@ChickenboyGaming]

I mean, if you asexual you should kind of not be a stupid idiot and actually realise that all ace labels are valid

[@elizabethstafford5773]

I do consider myself asexual. Throughout my life I did not understand it. I would often have sex to please the other person and there have been times when they took it because I wouldn't give it. Now that I'm older I realize I don't want sex and don't need to give it or receive it to please anyone. I do hope that someday I would meet someone who felt the same as me and wanted a companionship without the sex. But I'm not holding my breath. But I don't ever introduce myself as asexual. I did notice people are saying they are asexual who have sex so I realize the label is probably null and void. So I guess I'm just someone who doesn't have sexual urges.

[@leigh7507]

I'm exactly the same. I had sex to try and keep a relationship but in the end - pretending to want sex would be exposed by the other partner and that would make them feel unwanted. It takes us a long time to figure ourselves out as there is little education on this (in the 90s and 00s)

[@Nokyyyyy]

There are aces who accept sex and those who do not (like me) I feel like most allosexuals you'll meet will put everyone in one of the 2 boxes and never the one you relate to

[@elizabethstafford5773]

@@leigh7507 Yes I understand. I'm sure that my last relationship could tell because I never initiated. I would go along with it when he did, but I'd say when you are a normal person in that regard you would notice that your partner never seems to want it. He ended up cheating on me and it wasn't a deal breaker but I think he wants that passion with someone. Which to me is sad because we were so compatible in every other way. I hate how sex seems to fuel everything. It's overwhelming how much people focus their lives on sex. To me it's a very small almost insignificant thing. But it reminds me that we are basically mammals/animals doing what nature designed us to do. It just seems like we should evolve past it and it would be amazing if people would focus all that energy into things to improve our lives instead of complicate them.

[@elizabethstafford5773]

@@Nokyyyyy I see. I guess I would have been the first one you mentioned. I have anxiety about that maybe I'll be alone forever because sex is so important to everyone.

[@Nokyyyyy]

@@elizabethstafford5773 🫂🫂 It's tough sometimes :(

[@teitei6134]

Asexual doesn't mean zero sex drive. Why didn't you look up anything before making a video?

[@oceanmythjormundgandr3891]

because that requires effort into trying to understand people different from him

[@acefeminist7259]

Because it's easier just to punch down on another marginalised group, with no comprehension of how hypocritical it is

[@roxana9919]

Im asexual, I have my hormones checked, and I don't have trauma of that kind. However I have never wanted to engage in sexual activity with someone even when I have been in love with them. Unlike other things like being unbinary there are records of people before 2000 being asexual, it ain't new. Is it unnatural? Maybe, but so it is to be trans (literally no offense) also, there is a stigma to asexual people, some are even forced into being "cured" by literal r*pe (this is anecdotic so you can not believe it, is ok). I don't think people on tiktok talking about this broad spectrum are right, I think it is a simple thing: no sexual atraction. I am romanticaly atracted to both genders so I do feel as a part of the lgbt thing, however I don't know if I would feel that way being a straight asexual. I guess all I want to say is... Don't think that we are claiming to be a minority, I would love to be normal and have a partner without the concern that they will want sex in some point, but I just can't and I've been bullied for that. I've been scared and I feel less scared now that being asexual is something that people talk about, I don't have to pretend now, and I know i'm not the only one now. I respect your opinion even though it hurts me, and I apreciate that you were not mean like other people.

[@Lolidella82]

Wow I usually agree with your videos but you're so off the mark here. I'm not going to repeat the definition of asexuality because others have said it, but I will add that people misuse asexual the same way trans is misused and muddied by non-binary. I would think you'd know better, because you come across educated, that people tend to twist the meanings of words to suit their agenda. Also, I'm 40, Ace, and an educator and I'm definitely not autistic. How are you qualified to diagnose anyone as anything? I'm not trying to be rude but seriously, you are not qualified. Asexuality is not a choice and I am upset that you would invalidate an entire orientation because of some gen z tiktokers who don't know what asexuality actually is. It's bad enough you made this video without properly researching asexuality, but it's salt in the wound to be called autistic when I'm not. For the record, I don't use tiktok, twitter, nor do I belong to any asexual or lgbtq groups. I didn't realize I was Ace until I was in my thirties. I don't have any trauma. Also, no hormonal imbalance.

[@Lolidella82]

@Doctor_Who not really sure what I said that you're responding to. Imo, it is a sexuality because living with it has affected my dating life tremendously. And not just because my partner desires sex and I don't.

[@shyranhilaw4352]

@Doctor_Who Yeah no you’re wrong lol

[@SwedeGirl89]

Warning for long post. This is my experience as 34 year old woman (Im Swedish so my English isnt fluent...) For over two decades, Ive been told that there is something wrong with me and people assumed I was lesbian or an SA victim. While I do have austistic traits (ASD-1, formely called asperger), they are mainly based on social skills, not body autonomy. I'm also kinesthestic, sensory issues where I dont even like being hugged or wearing certain clothes as a child. Im hetero-romantic, so I do experience romantic attraction to opposite sex and Im sex positive in the sense that I respect other peoples sexuality and fetishes. If a person want to be peed on, Im cool with that if their partner share the same preference. If you want experiement with toys, BDSM etc, I also respect that. I just dont want to engage with it.Many people confuse asexuals with sex phobia that we fear having convos about sex. (some does) ALOT of people cant tell sexuality and romantic attraction apart, which is why I dont agree that it doesnt belong it into LBGTQIA, it does, just find it funny how its associated with trans and intersex, because I cant count how many compare asexuality with asexual reproduction, we are not fungus or worms. lol There are asexual who also has sex because they want to make their partner happy. I mean, If you can be attracted to same sex, opposite of both, why not NONE? Its like saying Bisexual must experience 50/50 or they arent bi. I DO wish people stop over-labeling the LGBTQIA terms, but some people simply dont want to understand it. In most cases, You cant tell people who find you attractive, you are not interested, because alot of people dont buy it. I tried telling men countless of time I dont want to date them, because I dont see the point of dating somebody without having a sexual attraction. I tried that the hard way as a teenager, but the result will only cause the other persons feelings to suffer. The whole dilemma with asexuality is similare to how women experience stigma over being childfree. "If its not natural, its not normal", so thats the only part I find a tiny bit offended by. Yes even as an Asexual, I dont think there is nothing wrong having sex, but its nobody business if a person choose to not to engage in it. I havent been intimate for 18 years and childfree, I have never feeled unhappy about being asexual. I Just tired when people stigmatizing it and expect everyone to like it because its "natural". Just like You dont need to be drug addict to understand that drugs are bad...

[@emilytrevino4023]

I only know one person who is truly asexual. Never had a relationship, never wanted one. Pure at 56, goes to church every Sunday. Same job her whole life, very successful, travels, healthy relationship with her family. She’s completely happy by herself, she finds companionship in friendships. We’ve talked about sex, and she just flat out told me she doesn’t see the appeal, doesn’t get turned on, doesn’t even have the slightest urge. I’ve met people who don’t want to have sex due to trauma… but that’s not asexuality, if the trauma wasn’t there, they might still find sexual relationships appealing. So generally speaking, I’ve met one genuine asexual person. Asexuality is definitely possible, but it is extremely rare, and these Tik tok people are giving it a bad name. I also wonder if there’s a genetic or psychological component to it.

[@ny4000]

Asexuality is the lack of sexual attraction for another person. It does not necessary mean there is a lack of sex drive. That often is the case but not always. Some asexuals can indeed have a high sex drive but just are not interested in having sex with another person. They may find other “outlets” to quench that desire. Whether asexuality is really a thing on its own or a symptom of an underlying condition is debatable, but I personally feel there are true asexuals out there. The number is probably far less though than what is being currently represented on Tik Tok.

[@JayDay04]

Then that's not asexuality. That's just the life of a normal, single person aushshs

[@Carossmo]

@@JayDay04 and back then, being gay was not considered normal. Now being gay is the life of a normal, single person.

[@skinnypuppy1039]

Interesting video, also the small survey you did for that! I'd find it also interesting to look a little bit more on this autism thing. When I am scrolling through woke twitter, in so many (young people) profiles I see "[insert some LGBTQ(.....) identification here] + autism". I am a transsexual myself and in the most cases of those twitter profiles I bet they're not transsexuals at all. They seem to be obsessed with looking for crazy identies - I don't want to judge here; if they're need this to be happy, I don't care. I think there could be a connection between woke LGBTQ(etc) and autism and it would be interesting to find some people who want to talk about this.

[@becafoin2]

A lot of female destransitioners are autistic too. I am autistic (not LGBT or woke though) and I think there is a very strong link between autism and the transgenderism fad. Probably has something to do with autistic people's wacky theory of mind and perception of gender norms & sexual attraction.

[@MarzipanCat.]

"Sex and masturbation is good for you" is correct to a degree but let's not forget it can also become compulsive and an unhealthy coping mechanism

[@eri_sama]

"water is good for you" but let's not forget that if you chug big amounts of water at once, you could die.

[@wistaban]

After a 6 year relationship, I decided to choose celibacy and that was over 7 years ago lol! I haven't had any sexual or romantic relationships since, and I've never felt happier. The longer you're single and not dating or sleeping with anyone, you start being comfortable and happy with your own self. I do feel sexual attraction to other people however I have control over myself and my sexual life which a lot of people can't do. Am I asexual? hahah I mean, instead of pampering someone else I pamper myself, take myself out to dinner, buy myself awesome gifts and everything else i'd for to a partner I do for myself and it's awesome and why I have trouble even thinking about dating again.

[@Carossmo]

Obviously you're not asexual. Asexual is not equal to celibacy.

[@vegetaismydad5382]

"Am I asexual?" No. You literally just said you feel sexual attraction to other people. That is the opposite of being asexual. We don't experience sexual attraction to other people. Period.

[@thepickledpixie9052]

No, you're celibate and that's ok.

[@JuliaHartley]

Why does the word asexual have a different meaning for humans now than it does for animals? In animals it means there is only one parent, meaning reproduction happens without sex. Obviously humans cannot actually reproduce this way but as a teen I called myself asexual in the sense that I only wanted to do it by myself, not with a partner. It was nothing to do with attraction or libido just about not needing a partner. I'm rather confused as to how the medical profession has this so muddled.

[@nicholasrobinson5508]

i do personally think asexuality is valid, i know friends and people who don't want anything with anyone and that's okay but woke people are trying to make it trendy that's the issue i have

[@antijojo]

I am going to give my 2 cents on this being Asexual and not fitting the stereotypes. I didn't realize I was asexual until I was 40. Some background. I have been raised in a more conservative environment, I am in no way pc or woke. I have never had any sex trauma, nor am I autistic. I am not sexually attracted to anyone what so ever, and have no desire to have sex with another person. I do have a libido, and I need to explain because I can already see people rolling their eyes when they are reading this. So do I enjoy the feeling of lets just say releasing, and the answer would be yes, but I am not thinking about other people when this happens. It would be no different than someone enjoying the feeling of having a good massage. I agree with not being part of the LGBT community because we don't have to deal with persecution I am the minority of asexual on this. I also have kind of cut ties with a lot of the ace community because it has become way to cringy, and attention seeking (example I just read in one of the ace groups, a person clearly a dude saying he is non-binary presenting as male.). Also I should state I don't advertise I am ace, only a small amount of people in my life know this about me.

[@bihayalimyok300]

I'm an asexual since I know myself. I'm 19 and 0 interest in sexual activities and I've never done it even if I have a boyfriend. And I explained myself to him before we started to dating. These people just trying to be eccentric. There's no spectrum. If you are not interested in sex and lack of sexual desire, you may be an asexual. And I agree with him when he says "If you don't want to have sex, something is wrong" Thank you for speaking up. I love your channel!

[@ravenID429]

Yeah, I don’t get the obsession with people like this calling everything a spectrum lol, you can literally have some degree of low sex drive or none at all but they have to make it sound special

[@jsksodjebebjbbhsjjryaakqwelops]

You aren't asexual if you have an orientation (male, on this instance)

[@TheGrinbery]

The actual old school definition is "people who lack sexual attraction", not "people who dont procreate". After all, monks and people who stay away from intercourse can still have sexual attraction, they just choose (for whatever reason they may have) not to procreate. The libido argument is mostly false. It is true that sometimes you just have the need to "let it all out", but it has to do with your hormones and age, as well as anatomy. This is why men have a higher libido; after all, there's a lot of stuff being produced and it has to go somewhere. That being said - libido does tie to sexual attraction, since pleasure alone wouldnt lead you to a release (I tried. It took several hours).

[@JayDay04]

That first girl when she described libido described actual sexual attraction. She's not asexual. Oh gosh, I cringe so hard just thinking about the time I used to identify as one

[@mayaa3648]

hey! i love your videos. im asexual! just a thing, a high sex drive can be handled by m*sturbating. people can be ace with a high sex drive & handle it on their own, & never ever want it to be about others.

[@mayaa3648]

let me add i personally have no libido & feel sick when i think about sex. so this is not me. just explaining

[@shelbyspeaks3287]

Interesting

[@cradica]

I think I might be asexual? But, how do I know for sure. I have done the deed, though it wasn't my intention. At least not fully.

[@BlkMagik]

Asexuality is definitely a real thing, but it's no where near as common as modern society would have you believe. Many of the people that claim to be "asexual" are just people that either have a low sex drive and place very little importance on sex or have had an experience that has caused them to have an aversion to sexual contact. True asexuality, as in having no sexual attraction to either sex and a lack of sexual desire, is incredibly rare and would be considered a lack of sexuality. It is NOT a sexuality.

[@ZeBirdBrain]

Hello Marcus :) I really enjoy your content, most the time! Really, but I don't agree with this one video, about the Ace spectrum. I would love to discuss it with you however! (I do agree that a lot of labels are to much . . . . and a lot of stuff in the Ace spectrum are... honestly nonsensical and stuff... but in it's roots, being either Ace, or Demi is a real thing, that doesn'T come necesserly from Trauma... ) I would love to talk about it with you, an di'm sure many Ace would also! (And no, I don't go on Tik Tock, I am not a gen Z woke person, and is otherwise really balanced in my life. And I am not offended. I just think you might be missing a few points in your view on the subject. ) Have a lovely day!

[@alexanderl9721]

I used to identify as asexual. In reality I just have very conservative views on seggs. If you tell people you're asexual they'll leave you alone because it's "wrong" to question someone's identity. But if I said that I don't want to sleep around because I think it's morally wrong people would start judging you. It's easier to just say "I'm an ace" and I guess at some point I managed to convince even myself. Another thing is, I wanted to hold on to the innocence. Right now I'm openly celibate and happy about it but i don't deny that my sexuality exists. I'm just really good at controlling it rather than being controlled by it.

[@JayDay04]

THIS AAAHH Catholics like me view sex exactly that way. The drive IS there, and it's stupid to deny it, but I'd rather control it than act purely on instinct.

[@swankissankrouge3625]

But what made you realize you arent? Were you able to feel any sort of attraction towards anyone? Were you sex repulsed before?

[@alexanderl9721]

@@JayDay04 I'm not a catholic myself but I can certainly relate.

[@alexanderl9721]

@@swankissankrouge3625 I always felt attraction but was sort of in denial. Now I'm like, ok it's there and not bothering anyone. Let it just be there and I'll keep on doing my business.

[@vegetaismydad5382]

This is hilarious to me because I grew up very conservative and religious and used that as an excuse as a teen why I wasn't interested in dating and sex ("because I'm saving myself for marriage"). I preferred to be judged as a prude than even bother explaining being asexual, mostly because at the time I didn't know what it was called and it was just easier than explaining "I literally have no desire to date or have sex with anyone" (this was the early 2000s). Now, in the age of identity politics where every identity is protected and religion is scoffed at, the culture has reversed. That is just rich. 😂

[@fallenhero3130]

Speaking as an Asexual man, I am annoyed this person represents us. I’d be happy to answer any questions you have for the Ace community.

[@greenbeans9748]

Hi! I got a question. The video frequently talks about straight women identifying as ace lesbians, but my situation is sorta the opposite of that. I have always had both romantic and sexual attraction towards women, but I only feel romantic attraction towards men who fall under a *very* specific demographic. Even though I do like short submissive femboys and would happily smash him depending on where my hormones are that month, I don't think it would work out... I'm normally either repulsed by masculine features or feel no attraction towards them (body hair, flat chests/posteriors, "man hoses," etc.) and I think the relationship would fall out fast because no matter how feminine a guy may look or act, he is still and always will be a man. Does this mean I'm bi or am I still a lesbian? I don't think I'm ace towards men; I'm just *extremely* unlikely to find one attractive like I do with women.

[@fallenhero3130]

@@greenbeans9748 Sounds to me like you’re just a lesbian. Maybe you have some Demi feelings towards men, but it sounds like you’re definitely more on the other side of the spectrum.

[@greenbeans9748]

@@fallenhero3130 Alright! That's what I thought. I really appreciate your help. I've been trying to figure that out for years, but all I got were nonsensical answers from the crazy side of the community. I was actually getting super stressed out because of it... I'm glad I found another person with common sense!

[@barklols]

I considered myself asexual and to an extent still do, but because i understand that it comes from my trauma. It was a way for me to tell people on dating apps that i wasnt interested in sex without having to explain myself. Granted i dont have to now because my partner understands my trauma and (forgive me for being too tmi) having sex with him has helped kinda reclaim that part of me again. I have a complicated relationship with my body and sexuality because of what ive been through, so ive just used the label to cover that up.

[@goreysins]

As an asexual I thought we didn’t have much of a sex drive or wanted sexual relations in general? That doesn’t make sense like you like or love someone without bedroom play. I’ve been out for 10 years and I don’t see why it’s a problem for other people, especially in religion. Plus we live in such a hypersexualized society that it’s slowly becoming concerning when pushed too far in other peoples “poison” types

[@berettaroadchronicles9637]

That is called being friends when you are in a relationship that is not intended as sexual or anything romantic. You can be asexual, that’s fine. There is absolutely nothing wrong with that. Let us ask this question. How many straight people do you see out in public being very loud and proud of their straight sex life? Not very many of any. If you have to make your sexual orientation your entire personality then that is very sad.

[@JayDay04]

If you have a sex drive, you're not asexual. That's my understanding of it (I used to think I was asexual).

[@Silveirias]

@@JayDay04 No, that's not true. Usually asexuals have a low sex drive or sometimes none, but the defining factor is who they are sexually attracted to: no one. Imagine a gay person living their entire life surrounded by just the opposite sex. They still have libido, but no one they feel sexually attracted to. They might even end up having sex with someone and it might be ok or enjoyable, but they aren't going to be sexually attracted to the person they have sex with.

[@jessa95]

@@JayDay04 sex drive and sexual attraction aren't the same thing. I'm not sexually attracted to anyone but my body tells me when its horny.

[@JayDay04]

@@jessa95 how are they not the same thing? I don't understand. If your body is functioning normally and you feel horny, what stops you from eventually feeling attracted to someone because of it? Like, what makes it different from someone who isn't ace? You can't have one without the other imo... When I feel things I also don't act up on it, that doesn't mean you're asexual as far as I know.

[@robincasey1700]

I know you normally come of as harsh but you shouldnt belittle something you dont understand, some people have low sex drives and some have no desire at all. I think the whole reson the label came about was because society went from conservative about sex to sexuality being displayed everywhere and becoming apart of everything. The label makes takes the pressure off your feelings by not having sex or finding someone attractive to you to have sex with. We are confused and it be helpful if researchers wernt inundated with clowns acccusing them of discriminating by conducting studies on LGBT and other mental health

[@KodKodKat]

I just don't want to bonk. My uncle never touched me. It just be like that.

[@Glue_is_ok]

It really do be like that for me too comrade

[@dxitydevil]

Goated comment

[@Acedh_]

This actually makes me so upset, this guy said he wanted to educate himself and just spat out bullshit for ten minutes straight

[@sakuraharunaxx2451]

I'm on the side, the sexual attraction isn't the same thing as having libido. I have never felt a twinge of sexual attraction towards anybody but I do have some libido. Its hard to describe.

[@cradica]

I feel the same way sometimes I'll go after the first person I see. Though I rarely want penetrative $ex

[@americalive443]

i am currently learning about all of this hormones stuff, and the point about not wanting to have s*x due to hormonal imbalance is actually a good one, because our physical attraction tightly correlates with the work of our hormones. for example, dopamine is produced when we look for a partner or specifically when we feel like we almost reached their attention and love back. apart from that, oxytocin plays a huge part in our s*xual attraction and is highly produced during org*sms and even just hugs or when we hold hands with somebody we love. as well as raising kids and giving birth to them also leads to huge doses of this hormone being made by our neurons. and if we feel loved serotonin takes place. so, as you can see, our hormones naturally make us WANT to have sex and reproduce. being asexual myself is making this topic even more interesting to me. i have never ever wanted to be in a relationship, not even talking about having s*x with somebody, but i have also gone through a severe trauma and a recent check-up on my brain showed a variety of pathologies going on. so do not just claim that asexuality is merely a sexuality. yes, it is a choice to make whether or not to have a close physical connection with another person, but nature and our body's functions play such a big part in this processes so you simply cannot ignore them

[@llamasmeowing2061]

I recommend the SFO video “why gatekeeping is good actually “ and this fully applies to the redefinion of asexuality. I myself am asexual and I’m sick of these clout chasing people. These people are embarrassing, and it adds to other people thinking that I’m faking. I’m fine with not being in the LGBT community at this point tho. I don’t have any trauma, sounds kind of rude to say but whatever. Hormone imbalances? Maybe. I never claim to be oppressed.

[@Stubbino]

I think this is where a good portion of the "hate" towards asexuals stems from. We just haven't had as huge an issue with acceptance. We've just not had to experience anywhere near as much discrimination and violence (although many asexual women and men will experience violence for "not putting out"). And I wouldn't want to remotely try and coopt any level of that collective trauma. But I do think it's healthy to include the A in LGBT+ simply because, when you look at your own sexuality and start to question what that actually is? There should be a place for anyone who does not identify as heterosexual and the gender they were assigned at birth.

[@kyotoai]

I was typing a long comment while listening and about halfway through the vid i realised it was pointless to explain anything to someone whose mind is already made up. I will admit that the term gets thrown around a lot and these tiktok folks make me cringe too.

[@howaboutnooo00]

Okay, I'm 34, high functioning autistic woman, who presents very femme, loves going out dancing, and privately I think of myself as asexual, have thought so since I first learned of it, at age like... 20? I am out as lesbian, have been for a few years, and in visual, psychological aspects, I appreciate women greatly, I'm just not really interested in sex, never was. I first masturbated at age 29, and only because I was gifted a sex toy. Yeah. My hormones are fine, had them checked a few years ago. Some people just are ace, some don't even pursue romance, I know I don't, and they can live happy, fulfilling lives. Still, people are super weird about asexuality, so no, I'm not out as ace.

[@Paipaazi]

For less than two years when I was teen, about 16 or 17, I thought I was lesbian ace. Why? Because it took me so long to come to terms with my lesbian side and the fact that me not feeling sexually towards men is NOT being asexual, it is me being a lesbian. The whole community just sucked me in when I was vulnerable, but I have been totally rid of the toxic spaces for like 3-4 years now. And no, I didn't and still don't think being ace is part of LGBT. I was part of it then and I am now, because I am lesbian, but yeah.

[@kawa6027]

Saaaame. I was looking for something like this because I definitely feel like that might be the case for many girls who claim to be Ace. I thought I was asexual as well because I wasn't attracted to men, turns out I was just a lesbian who wasn't over sexualizing woman.

[@Paipaazi]

@@kawa6027 And over sexualizing women in this society is going way too overboard with barely adult girls making Only fans etc. 😥

[@Skylover1]

I like your videos mostly, but I disagree with this one. If asexuality shouldn't be included in the LGBT+ umbrella, then neither should the T as being transgender isn't a sexual orientation either but a gender identity. I would consider myself an asexual with a high sex drive, where I masturbate a lot but have less desire to have sex with an actual person. I do and will have sex occasionally, but it's not something I particularly seek, and I especially don't like sleeping with someone straight away or having one night stands. I've always felt out of place in the gay community as it's common to be highly sexually active in the gay community. I think it's also important to understand that asexual people feel pressure to have sex because it's what partners expect, and many asexual people if they are homoromantic or heteroromantic may want to be in a relationship. We can't underestimate the obsession society has with sex. I don't agree that asexuality is just linked to autism or a manifestation of trauma. Different people just have different relationships with sex, as everyone is different.

[@ny4000]

Well stated. 100% agree. This video really shows a lack of understanding of the subject which surprises me because he usually is so well versed in the topics he chooses to discuss.

[@Carossmo]

@@ny4000 Honestly I was expecting him to have lack of understanding of this subject and idk why, I had low expectations.

[@cradica]

I agree with you I am also an ace with a libido and I feel the same way you do.

[@MyTimelord11]

I normally really agree with you but not so much here. Sexualities are labels we use to quickly and easily describe our sexual preferences. For example you could go on this long description on how you find men attractive both romantically and sexually and could even go as far as describing explicit sexual acts with men but usually it would be easier and more appropriate to just say "I'm gay" or "I'm straight". I think instead of someone going off on this long explanation of how they don't like sex or are uninterested in it could easily just be replaced by "I'm asexual". And just because your reason for being so is because of trauma doesn't mean it's any less true. It's an easy way to signal to potential partners that you are not interested in sex. I also think sexual and romantic attraction are commonly seen together but 100% can he separate and I think we all experience them together at varying degrees. To say you can't feel romantically attracted without feeling physically attracted is just so reductive for something that in incredibly nuanced such as human attraction. Idk this all just felt rather slapped together without much thought.

[@CatherineLee3000]

Not all autistic people are less mature. I have a friend, who has high-functioning autism, and he has been told by many people that he is more mature than most adults. He is also asexual. He is also *simply not interested* in sex. It has *nothing* to do with sensory stuff. He also has *no* trauma. He has *no* insecurities about his body, either.

[@parentingadabsurdum]

So you can have sex with people as an asexual, but you are not sexually attracted to those people? What??? How do you comfortably consensually have sex with someone without some kind of sexual attraction to them? I genuinely don’t understand.

[@blueiris1542]

Well straight men have sex with women they're not attracted too. It's more so, ppl can be just so horny to the point, they don't care who they have sex with(they're just trying to get off).

[@parentingadabsurdum]

@@blueiris1542 Right, i guess I can see that.

[@cradica]

@blueiris1542 oh I was wondering if I'm ace because I don't develope crushes easily, however I have been horny around people. I was thinking I was aromantic "something"sexual

[@cradica]

@blueiris1542 I'm beginning to think I'm asexual?

[@gothica3605]

As an asexual, I find the labels confusing. I remember this one flag with a flower on it and it was like orthisexual or something. The definition was basically just describing someone who does experience sexual attraction but doesn't act on it. Nobody was pleased when I gave a negative response of, "That's just being straight with extra steps". There are Soooo many people in the ace community who are autistic and/or had some form of trauma that made them ace. Theses are people who will have a mental breakdown if someone even bumps shoulders with them. I can say that over half of people who claim to be asexual, just have sexual trauma or are neurodivergent. I see so many of them make posts about being autistic or have a fear of touch. Meanwhile I'm sitting back in my chair being confused, because I can't relate to any of them. Im not autistic, nor do I freak out if someone touches me. I don't have any trauma. I just grew up never having crushes or a having a desire for sexual intimacy with a specific person. Like I never in my life, have ever looked at someone, and have sexual thoughts towards them. I never experienced a lady boner from looking at a shirtless man with a 6pack, his rear or his front package. I'm just not attracted to anyone. I was always like this. Even though I was an early bloomer and was the first to hit puberty, it never occurred to me to smash lips with another human being. I'm 27, never had a first kiss, or had sex. Ive had countless hormone tests by doctors and they always come back normal. I really hate the fact that the ace community accepts anyone who "became" asexual because of sexual abuse to be valid. Imagine if someone said this same thing towards being gay. You can't traumatize a women into being a lesbian and vice versa. Yet the ace community thinks youre valid of trauma caused you to be ace. IT MAKES NO SENSE. If the person wasn't traumatized, they just be straight like the average Joe. People need to keep their mental health separate from their sexuality. I don't care to be a part of the LGBT community because let's be honest, it's cancer anyway. I also don't need to be a part of something to validate my existence like many people in the community tends to seek for.

[@vegetaismydad5382]

100% this. There are also a lot of ASD individuals suddenly claiming to be trans now, also. This is not a coincidence. I think it's because social media has amplified these communities and because we're "social outcasts" in a sense, people who are autistic relate to the community on that level and then sort of "adopt" the identity to feel part of something and make friends. It's actually very sad when you look at it because many of these people, at least within the trans community, are going so far as to do irreversible damage to their bodies just to "fit in" to these communities. Gatekeeping absolutely is necessary. Inclusion can be harmful if mental health is neglected.

[@gardenshed6043]

Being asexual and having high libido is sort of like when you get a random boner the moment you have to get up in class. You aren’t actively attracted to anyone. You’re not thinking about having sex right now. You don’t want to have sex right now. But for whatever reason, you’ve got a boner. That’s the best way I can explain it to someone who’s not asexual. I’d also take issue with saying that something is wrong if you don’t want to have sex. Because you can live a perfectly happy and healthy life without having sex. Also, one of the big things you might learn if you pay more attention to the asexual communities is the separation of attractions. For example, Aesthetic attraction. I can think a girl is pretty without wanting to fuck her. Just like I can think a painting is pretty without wanting to fuck it. Or like one person here said, romantic attraction, you can want to go out on dates with a person and have a romantic relationship without wanting to fuck them. There is also some sensual attraction, this might be the closest to sexual, but it might be enjoying cuddling and kissing without wanting to fuck the person you’re cuddling or kissing. And all these kinds of attractions can vary for someone. I myself am asexual, but I’m romantically and aesthetically attracted to women. In terms of sensual stuff I like cuddling but not kissing. Most people don’t know what Asexuality is. So if people ask me I usually just say I’m gay because that’s who I’m romantically attracted to and what I do or don’t do with my partner is nobodies business but ours. If someone knows what it is, I like the term Gayce. Combining the words gay and ace. Don’t think I’ve heard anyone else really use it but I think it gets both my romantic and sexual orientation across in one simple syllable. I don’t think there is anything wrong with me in that regard. I also think TikTok isn’t the greatest place to learn about Asexuality. Try asexuality.org.

[@jsksodjebebjbbhsjjryaakqwelops]

It's not a sexual orientation. It's a made up label. Stop.

[@mikedowning4869]

Oh no , not a spectrum. By and large when you hear the word spectrum, it means that this is an attempt to resist any sort of definition, like with the current use of the word queer which now is so vague and broad as to be meaningless. So let's just drop all the labels pronouns and stop boring everyone to death with this nonsense.

[@j45c]

No offense but it seems like you haven’t done much research on the subject… Being asexual means you don’t have a desire to have sex, however there are situations in which asexual people have sex. While you may have sex with a partner because that’s what they desire, you don’t feel that desire. So not everyone is sex repulsed. I understand it may seem contradictory… I’m sorry but this is aphobic… you’re excluding a valid group of people… yes there are some people who have sexual trauma, but some people simply due not feel that desire. NOTHING is wrong with asexual people. NOT ALL people naturally want sex. You realize people used to say it’s unnatural to be gay or trans? It’s the same thing.

[@jcjessica]

I first discovered that I was asexual when I was 17. I do have autism, but I've never experienced any trauma, nor do I have any hormonal imbalance. I'm just sex-repulsed/averse/indifferent, not interested in sex or romantic relationships and I just lack sexual & romantic attraction - good old definition of asexuality. After being in the online community for a while I just don't care whether asexuality is a part of LGBTQ+ anymore. Autism may or may not play a part in my case(there are PLENTY of autistic people who desire sexual & romantic relationships), but I just learn to let myself be _asexual_

[@magdalenas.4]

Just because you don’t understand that people (without past trauma) don’t feel sexual attraction, doesn’t mean this isn’t a thing. 🤷🏽‍♀️

[@CatherineLee3000]

Thanks for saying this!

[@Liamella23]

This is all just my opinion and what I have gathered over years of learning. Asexuality isn't not wanting to have sex, its not feeling sexual attraction. People can feel sexual attration but not want to have sex (i.e. due to trauma). I think the thing with sex positive asexuality is not feeling any sexual attraction to a particular person but still being okay with having sex (i.e to please a partner) (or because the physical feeling of penetration feels nice- not because you're feeling anything towards the person doing the penetration) whereas sex repulsed asexuals are repulsed by the idea of sex and would never voluntarily have it. The thing with the lgbt community partly comes in when asexual people feel excluded from the hypersexual heterosexual world. Asexuals are told that they are broken (often told that they can be cured of asexuality by meeting the right person, a bit like when some men say they can turn a lesbian straight). The labels homosexual and heterosexual describe two ends of a spectrum of sexual attraction. Asexuals, not being sexually attracted to anyone, don't fall on this spectrum. The split attraction model aims to separate sexual and romantic orientation in order to to capture the fact that asexual people can still have crushes on people and develop feelings for people, but in a romantic way (not just friendship) (the greek types of love are useful here). So someone could be romantically attracted to those of the same sex (homoromantic) but feel nothing sexual at all. They would be a part of the lgbt community as they have same sex-attraction (and might colloquially describe themselves as gay), but feel no sexual attraction. As a corollary, you also have aromantic people, who experience no romantic feelings, and who may or may not be asexual. I know someone for example who has very strong sexual attraction to people but has never had a crush or desire for a relationship with anyone. And also people who are aromantic and asexual (aroace) who have never had crushes or sexual attraction. I think with the libido thing, people can have a desire for sexual things (i.e. masturbation) without ever feeling sexually attracted to an individual. And some asexuals say that the feeling of sex is physically nice but they've never felt sexual attraction to a particular person. I think it's partly about being able to separate a biological response to simuli (e.g. masturbation or penetration) from having a particular desire for that stimuli to come from a particular person. I don't really identify as ace myself. I am Autistic. I've never felt sexually attracted to anyone but I would physically enjoy sex. Some would class me as asexual but it's not a label I use for myself. All the people I know who are asexual are autistic or in some way neurodiverse, though I know far more autistic people who are very sexual than are asexual. Sorry this is so long.

[@sabox4618]

This video... It feels awful. Like a hate crime against the entire community. It feels kinda bad watching this. Every word he says is like a blow to a different section of Aces. It just makes me really dislike the guy. He also uses hypocritical statements. Every time he mentions that we shouldn't stigmatize or whatever, he pulls an insult out of his ... ahem. Like he almost doesn't think aces don't exist, or deserve to exist. Genuinely awful.

[@spinwitch]

I have Aspergers and I am asexual, but I know a lot of people with autism, that are not asexual. And it is not a symptom of autism. Repulsed by sex is NOT asexuality - it is something that can be treated. Libido also has nothing to do with asexuality - one can have a strong libido, but prefer not to have sex with other people. Trauma from s.a. is also not asexuality and can (and should) be treated. It is quite simple - if there is a reason why you identify as asexual - then it is not asexuality. Same with homosexuality - there is no reason for it. Some are, some aren't. I don't mind having sex, but I don't look for it. I like being in a relationship and I can have sex to please my partner, as a kind of love gesture - and yes, I do enjoy it once I am "at it". I have been alone for about 13 years and I don't miss sex - unlike friends of mine who don't understand how someone can go that long without it. For me it is easy - I just care about sex.

[@rosedesbles3829]

At least asexuality makes sense (if we ignore the stupid "definition" given by activists) ; but there is this absurd concept of "demisexuality" which absolutely anybody on earth can relate to if they want to feel like a minority.

[@Carossmo]

It's never a minority. It's just they said demisexuality is when you look at someone but you don't feel you want to bang them, only when you get to know them is only when you start to feel that you want to bang them. What is "normal" to most people is you look at someone and you feel like wanting to be in bed with them but you don't act on it, which is called celibacy.

[@cradica]

I can't relate to demisexual

[@nerdydragonfan3742]

I agree with so many of your points. The "Asexual Umbria" has become so expensive that it's completely detached itself from the original meaning of "having no sexual attraction". I hate it when these people make so many "micro labels" that the whole thing just becomes meaningless. Keep it simple, the nitty gritty of what your comfortable with is for you and your partner to discuss. People like this (who make things so vague and complicated), are part of the reason I lift the LGBT community. LGBTQ+ means nothing now, isn't just the 'not cis & straight' club!

[@tfstarrynight]

the asexuality shit has bothered me for YEARS. if you wanna ignore any trauma or social pressures you feel and call it asexuality, you do you. but don't act like that shit is LGBT. im not having a straight guy come into our community because hes "ace" its ridiculous. and ive seen it happen time and time again. there is nothing inherently LGBT about asexuality. its not a sexual orientation, its a measure of sexual attraction - and thats not something ANYBODY needs to be putting out there for kids to see.

[@Stubbino]

LGBT describes sexual identity. Who you are attracted to. If we want to split hairs then technically transexuality is the odd one out because it's an inward identification of gender and not an outward identification of attraction. There are some nasty groups who are looking to remove the T from LGBT. Do you really want to be so careless with the terminology as to give those people a point to fight from? I agree, someone who's relationship with sex is damaged by trauma really shouldn't be calling themselves asexual. They need solutions for their trauma and not an excuse for its symptoms. A straight guy is NOT coming into the LGBT community, by it's very definition an asexual person is not straight, they're not physically attracted to women. They're at least half as not straight as gay men. Not sure where any of this comes into relevance with kids? This very same argument is being used right now against the LGBT community. Do you really want to be using the same argument that is being used to oppress other letters of the LGBT community. If anything Asexuals are more kid safe, because it's the absence of sexual attraction to another person. Look, I'll agree that the Asexuals haven't had anywhere near as many issues to deal with. It complicates our relationships and we might get called prudish, but we don't receive the level of hate the other letters of the spectrum deal with. But the LGBT spectrum functions in two roles. It binds a community together with a shared identity against a common issue. There you should be looking for as many allies as possible. And then there's LGBT the descriptor, which handles the range of sexual orientations that are simply not cisgender.

[@jademat31]

These descriptions are online. This is literally most people I miss when it was just straight, LGB, and asexual. Demisexual: People who only experience sexual attraction once they form a strong emotional connection with another person. Grey-A: People who identify somewhere between sexual and asexual. Queerplatonic: People who experience a type of non-romantic relationship where there is an intense emotional connection that goes beyond a traditional friendship. These are just nonsense. This is down to personality, and it doesn't need a label 😬

[@Carossmo]

Straight doesn't need a label either.

[@jademat31]

@Carossmo arguably, it does. being heterosexual means attraction to the opposite sex which is quite a big category. Call it heterosexual or straight, but since the majority fall into that, you do need a word to describe it.

[@Carossmo]

@@jademat31 I disagree, since it is a BIG category, the word I'd think of is "human". So straight doesn't need a label. You admitted it as well, majority fall into that, and since the descriptions online might as well not need a label, they shouldn't exist either. They ALL fall into "human".

[@jademat31]

@Carossmo but that would imply that anyone not heterosexual isn't human 🤔 homosexual is the opposite of heterosexual. Therefore both definitions are required.

[@Carossmo]

@@jademat31 Those are just nonsense. This is down to personality, and it doesn't need a label 😬 No need to give anything a label is what I'm saying. Homosexual, heterosexual, remove all of that. It's dividing people and we all are human.

[@janelledahler5033]

You’re way off the mark with this one. Asexuality is about a lack of attraction to others. So just like a gay person lacks attraction to the opposite sex, for example, the asexual person lacks it for any actual person in real life. Just take it one step further, and you’ll understand. We don’t feel the need to get others involved in our sex lives; that’s not our attraction. However, that is not the same as hormones, libido, drive etc. We can have the same bodily responses as the sexual person, we just have different triggers for it. My sex life is all in my head; it’s in the abstract (imagery, fantasy etc) not in reality (other physical people). So, I’m happy to take care of myself and never get another person involved. It’s flat out WRONG to consider all asexual people as damaged, physiologically imbalanced, socially limited, always autistic etc.

[@pencil69_]

Oh my god I had to look so long to find a reasonable comment. Thank you!!!!

[@ny4000]

Absolutely correct. I really hope he sees your comment. It explains it perfectly.

[@Carossmo]

Thank you for this comment.

[@Xenono54]

Honestly, this tiktokers do horrible job at defining what sexuality is in the first place, no wander people just snort at them as well as all asexuals altogether. Good to see there are a lot of people standing up for asexuals, cause people are really mean to them in these *progressive* days... Like, really? you find the idea of not being sexually attracted to anyone in particular but still wanting to have sex ridiculous? Like you never got horny while you have no sexual partner and/or not being interested in anyone in particular at the moment?? You ONLY get sexdrive when you have your eyes on someone??? Yeah, somehow I believe this way less than a high libido asexual.

[@Miraeshi]

Thanks trans Ben Shapiro, love your contributions to ace erasure

[@ericarichardson2983]

Your videos always give my brain a good work out and is one of the few places I can appreciate the discussions in comments. All I know is I struggled for years, thinking something is wrong with me. I have been on and of medication that affects sex drive since high school for conditions that also affect sex drive. So there was reason supporting something being wrong with me. Even so, I spent a lot of time upset that my partner wasn’t interested in having sex, even though I also wasn’t interested, bc I thought it meant he wasn’t attracted to me. Bc “men have a higher sex drive” and was told growing up that’s part of a healthy relationship. It left me with the conclusions that something is wrong with me mentally, physically, and my relationship wasn’t healthy bc sex wasn’t part of it. It made me feel like a failure. It was only when I started learning more about asexuality, and the language associated with it that I started to not feel broken. In any group, there is always a subsection of people that make the rest look bad.

[@Shyringa]

It's an interesting topic. I see myself as "bi-asexual" but I don't share it with other people, I just tell people I'm bi (unless they're my partner, obviously). I'm attracted to people in a way that I love cuddling, kissing, stroking, touching and being intimately close to them but I have absolutely no interest what so ever in sex and I kind of struggle understanding what "sexual attraction" means. I've never looked at somebody and thought "oh yes, I want to have sex with this person"? When I was in my teens (I'm 30 now) I used to think that sexual attraction wasn't real somehow. I'm not sex repulsed, I don't have sexual trauma, I don't have problems with nudity etc. Like, I don't see the human body as something... sexual? I just see it as flesh and a vessel and it's not sexy to me, lmao. But I'm not into the whole infantilization of asexuality that I see sometimes, I don't want to be viewed as immature or child-like by other people.

[@dxitydevil]

I feel the exact same way ,, i am not as old as you, but I’m just watching this video now and looking through the comments and i feel heard

[@SuperNovaSirius]

Yeah, I'm bi and thus can be attracted to people and fall in love, but the desire for sexual contact is completely lacking. That is A-sexuality. The lack of wanting sex. You're right in that it's not a sexuality. Because that would mean I am two at the same time, which is a dumb concept. Ahaha and I love your quick break down of the 'if everyone can relate, you're not a minority anymore.'

[@vegetaismydad5382]

You're biromantic asexual. That's it. Your romantic orientation is bi (romantic attraction for males and females). For the record, it's possible for a person to be aromantic and homo/hetero/bisexual. These are people who only prefer sexual relationships over romantic relationships. Being asexual doesn't mean one is aromantic and being aromantic doesn't mean one is asexual. Romantic orientation is separate from sexual orientation. It's just more common for people to have a sexual orientation that aligns with their romantic orientation. Most heterosexuals are also heteroromantic and most homosexuals are also homoromantic. Bisexuals can be biromantic also, however, there are some bisexuals who are homoromantic (only desire romantic relationships/fall in love with the same sex) or heteroromantic (only desire romantic relationships/fall in love with the opposite sex). If anything is a "spectrum" here, it is the concept of sexuality, in general.

[@SuperNovaSirius]

@Vegeta is My dad Yes!! I always see them separate as well. It's why I rarely use 'biSEXUAL', because in my case, it has little to do with sexuality. I just rarely make this distinction, because most people will say they are the same thing, as purely biologically speaking, being attracted to someone is your brain/body wanting to procreate with that person. I understand thus that people conflate the two and always experience them to go together. Asexuality has indeed something to do with a mental block, like indeed autism and/or trauma, as I know I've had experiences that might have turned me against the idea of having sex ever. I never did and don't desire to ever do it either. So separating sexuality from attraction might be 'unnatural', but it's definitely how I experience it.

[@vegetaismydad5382]

@@SuperNovaSirius "as purely biologically speaking, being attracted to someone is your brain/body wanting to procreate with that person." Explain the "biological misfire" with homosexuality, then. Because two same-sex individuals cannot procreate. So, it stands to reason that there shouldn't be a desire to copulate if that is all sexuality encompasses (which it doesn't). "Asexuality has indeed something to do with a mental block, like indeed autism and/or trauma, as I know I've had experiences that might have turned me against the idea of having sex ever." That's your own personal business and experience that is not necessarily shared with the rest of us who are still asexual. Also, this flawed logic was once used to explain homosexuality, as well. You are projecting your own life experiences and traumas off onto the rest of us. If you experienced trauma and have identified that event as the root cause of your views on sex, you're not asexual. You have hypoactive sexual desire disorder and need to seek therapy to resolve the issue so that you can have a healthy sex life. For an asexual, a healthy sex life is the absence of one because we're not sexually attracted to others. For someone with HSDD, a healthy sex life is the ability to overcome the trauma that is "mentally blocking them" from desiring and engaging in pleasurable sex with another person. If you associate your "asexuality" with trauma, that means you're not comfortable with it. That also means it's not asexuality, because asexuals are not distressed or uncomfortable with being asexual. Someone with HSDD, however, is distressed by their lack of sexual desire, and should discuss the matter with a healthcare professional.

[@SuperNovaSirius]

@Vegeta is My dad WOW, calm down, Trunks. Please don't assume things by some fragmental statements I make, outside the heavily complex pool of thoughts, opinions and feelings. The whole concept of misfiring in a gay's mind is exactly the reason WHY you would want to copulate with the same sex. Because you can't procreate with them, but you still know and want the pleasure of orgasm. It's only logical then that the mind still fires off as being sexually attracted. Just because procreation is not possible, doesn't mean nature has it's own way of circumventing that. And about the trauma thing, I don't know if it's because of that. I am just saying it could be, because I have some. It still makes me experience Asexuality, no matter what the cause.

[@vegetaismydad5382]

@@SuperNovaSirius "Because you can't procreate with them, but you still know and want the pleasure of orgasm." You also can't procreate with yourself, but many asexuals still know and want the pleasure of orgasm, they just choose to masturbate because they don't sexually desire or have sexual attraction toward *other people.* You also don't "experience" asexuality just like you don't "experience" homosexuality. It's who you are; a sexual orientation. As I said, what you're describing sounds more like HSDD. Again, talk to a professional, please. We are not the same.

[@MsAngelique]

Someone once told me she was bisexual and asexual. At the same time. How?

[@Azear4818]

It's called the "split attraction model". Basically, the ace community believes that the "sexual" in "homo/bi/asexual" refers to sexual attraction, whereas it actually refers to biological sex. So they think they need to add a label to precise to who, and how much they are romantically attracted to. For example : "biromantic asexual", "aromantic cupiosexual" or a more complex "hetero-demiromantic greysexual"... Enjoy trying to find the translation :')

[@vegetaismydad5382]

@@Azear4818 The terms refer to both sexual attraction and the biological sex one is sexually attracted to; homosexual = same-sex *attracted* heterosexual = opposite-sex *attracted* bisexual = same and opposite-sex *attracted* asexual = neither sex *attracted.* The split attraction model isn't just relevant to asexuals. In fact, it is something that people of all sexual orientations need to familiarize themselves with to get a better understanding of certain feelings they are having in their interpersonal relationships. For example, someone could be part of a couple where they are experiencing both sexual and romantic attraction for their partner (romantic attachment = wanting to have a romantic relationship) where their partner is really only experiencing sexual attraction but not romantically attracted to them, and thus, has no desire to be in a romantic relationship with them. Obviously, this is a problem. People who conflate romantic and sexual attraction often find themselves in situations where they're incompatible with their partner. This is usually exacerbated by poor communication (see: the US divorce statistics). So, no, the split attraction model isn't unique to asexuals as any sex therapist worth their salt would tell you. That said, I'm biromantic asexual which means exactly what it sounds like; I experience romantic attraction for both sexes but do not experience sexual attraction for either sex. The rest (demiromantic, greysexual, cupiosexul, etc.) I have no idea what that shit is either and am blaming social media for the nonsense at this point. It's not different from transtrenders (people who claim to be trans when they are not) and it is irritating.

[@iw9472]

Marcus, I love you and your content, but I feel like you didn't research or even try to understand this topic like you usually do. If a gay male is surrounded by females he won't feel attracted to any of them but still has sex drive. I hate eating and I eat things I don't want to it because I feel hunger. I also have sex with my husband when I don't feel like it because I never feel like it but I like to give him that. He can't feel attraction to strangers, not that "yeah they are attractive but I CHOOSE not to have sex with them" it's not a choice. You missed the nuance in this topic, because there is a nuance.

[@Carossmo]

It's too bad he's not going to see this and move on. I do respect his other takes, but this one was not well researched. If only he listened to those who are not from Tiktok.

[@oceanmythjormundgandr3891]

This is the first video from this dude that I have gotten a taste of, does he usually research a lot for his videos? Is this video an "outlier"? Because this one seemed like a trainwreck.