I'm Not Okay | Spoken Word Poetry

Need to talk about depression? Chat with a licensed, professional therapist online: influencelogic.go2cloud.org/SHI
SOCIAL MEDIA
FACEBOOK | / clickfortaz
TWITTER | / clickfortaz
INSTAGRAM | / clickfortaz
TUMBLR | / clickfortaz
SNAPCHAT | clickfortaz
Second Channel
/ clickformoretaz
Music
Lucas King | Sad Piano Music - Champion (Original Composition)
Lyrics
For as long as I can remember I’ve always had this void in my life,
It’s this empty feeling deep deep inside of you,
that you can’t quite shake - no matter how hard you try.
It sort of consumes and eats away at you,
You’ll have great happy moments and just when you thought everything was fine - surprise!
The feeling always comes back, it’s just a matter of time.
The constant frustration to fill this void, something to ease the pain.
What’s the cause? Nobody knows,
Yet you feel the same sad emptiness every single day
It leaves me feeling so empty and down
like I’m missing something somehow
something that’s a big part of me
and once I have it, I’ll be happy
I just need that one thing, this missing key,
and when I get my hands on it, I’ll be complete.
I’ve tried everything - friends, education, material stuff,
but no matter how hard I try, it never seems to be enough,
It sucks,
and I know people will say that you just need to be positive,
or the solution to all of your problems is self love
But it’s not as simple as that,
not when you’ve got to the point where you just feel numb.
I so badly want to fill my heart with so much happiness that it takes all the sadness away
My childhood was so dark and angry that I always thought, in my adult life things would change.
Somehow I would no longer feel the same,
and I don’t, things aren’t as extreme anymore,
but there’s no denying that that feeling is always there - and it’s something I can’t explain.
I just wish it would go away.
I thought that when I grow up things would be different, I just thought…it would be different
You look at other people and they always look so happy,
You know you observe people’s lives whether that be in person, social media, tv,
and it seems to come to them so naturally
And I know all of that stuff can be misleading,
but when you feel so down and empty,
you can’t help but think, why can’t that be me?
Cos you want that, you so desperately want that,
and you feel like you’re doing the right things,
you know you’re having fun with your friends, having late night chats, dancing to silly music
and in the moment it feels great, you’re in a good happy place,
but that happy feeling always goes away.
and the sad emptiness kicks in again.
Do I sound crazy? god I think I sound so crazy.
These thoughts tend to hit me late at night,
And that’s when I write,
sometimes I’m so overcome with emotion that I just cry,
and I don’t know why,
makes me feel like there’s something wrong with me,
It’s so sad to admit, that it becomes easier to lie and act like everything’s fine.
So that’s what I say, I say I’m fine.
Events from my past still affect my adult life
I lash out, feel down out of nowhere and I can’t explain why?
It just gets so messed up in my head sometimes
and there’s no way to escape it, not when it’s all happening in your mind.
and so you just beat yourself up and beat yourself up til you feel so small
you know, you can be in a room full of people and still feel so alone.
I can put on an act and pretend that I’m tough
but deep down I never quite feel brave enough
Sometimes I feel so small in this big big world
That I feel like all I have are my words to keep my sense of control
These poems, they’re like my therapy you know,
a place where I can release and pour out my soul
In hopes that it’ll make me feel better, and somehow fill this empty hole.
One day I’ll look back and it won’t hurt anymore,
I’ll be able to look back at what happened and not feel so sore
Cos there’s no cure
No way to fix it, it’s just something you learn to live with,
But it’ll get easier, of that I’m sure.
You are not the demons in your mind,
You are not the hurt and pain, you feel on the inside,
You’re stronger than that, you can fight.
Understand that it’s all temporary and that these things take time.
So chin up, breathe, allow yourself to feel everything there is to feel,
You’re going to get through this,
Give it some time and you’ll heal.

[@jennabrown6798]

Can you please make a book full of your poems I would buy that so fast

[@ClickForTaz]

Ahhhh that would be the dream! Maybe one day if I'm lucky. Thanks for the support.

[@hindomar3509]

+ClickForTaz yeah please do it 💙 I hope one day you manage 🙌🏻

[@ellie__6453]

omg yes please

[@Fumetsucyborg]

i would buy it too!!!

[@lailasalhi4053]

Jenna Brown meeeee omg

[@mariya49]

Please publish a book with all your poems I'd pre order that

[@ClickForTaz]

[@maceytamlyn]

yes! do it! that would be awesome!

[@lindap7655]

PLEASE

[@taylorwilkie5873]

Mya Ninja Y E S

[@kaylynhicks9314]

*Pre Order. Cause its That serious!

[@nickalacorum8229]

"Sometimes you can be in a room full of people,and still feel so alone" That hits me hard

[@onlyfortheone3832]

keyword: sometimes

[@juked8161]

*depression* *will* *never* *leave* *the* *chat*

[@multistannerbitch7109]

maxie out of all the things that make me cry, this has to be the one. Wtf I don’t get myself, maybe it’s the thought that this pain is never going to go away, and the only way out is killing myself.

[@breebernadette7415]

JIMIN I FOUND YOUR JAMS no killing is not the answer. There is a way that depression can leave. It’s just a rocky road. Just believe in ur self with the last happiness u have left. Just remember people have ur back.

[@nicolefassold8405]

Yeah...ugh...yeah

[@lydiadeetz1292]

Breyanna TROLOLOLO It won’t ever go away..

[@reemky17]

but you can

[@michelledorien4443]

Thank you for this. I'm not even at the end of the video, and I feel understood. God, thank you for her.

[@Farah-js6cg]

Michelle Dorien yessss 👌👌

[@alyannebakker3062]

Michelle Dorien Same❤

[@veravaneijk6624]

Michelle Dorien same

[@laurenarana3554]

Michelle Dorien Same!! Thank you soo much!!

[@mirka_icyy529]

Michelle Dorien

[@wesleyy1691]

"I always thought when I grow up, things would be different..."

[@gennessi63_]

My whole life story- this hits me hard but it makes me realize that I'm not the only one.

[@JustKhristene]

Me

[@harisdurakovic7832]

Same😔

[@joshuapage2124]

No you aren’t unfortunately

[@afinikiee4026]

Same here. But we'll get through it all 🙏.

[@lilyai4062]

Righhtt.. makes me glad and sorry at the same time ;-;

[@tin1034]

Girl you speak my pain, My secrets within My life behind these smiles You're smiling but you're sad inside You're laughing but feeling empty You're crying and they take it as a joke When inside that's the true you And now i'm used to saying I'm okay even if inside i'm dying slowly

[@greenguyz3775]

*PrEAcH*

[@mooncake0-072]

Christine C ppl always say “you just want attention” but the truth is i cry to music every night thinking why do I have to go through this pain...when I cry ppl take it as a joke.....ppl don’t ask are ok? They say it’s alright it’s fine...but they don’t understand my feelings but who knows maybe they secretly are breaking too

[@latonyasmith7975]

yeah I wish it was just classmates, but it teacher and classmates Went home thought I could escape from it all but turn around and found that it was a lie there was no escape nor rest except when I am by myself....

[@AvatarArrowYT]

@@mooncake0-072 thats exactly what happens to me, can we possibly be long lost twins?

[@arlyaadams3275]

sometimes you can be in a room of people and feel so alone - this

[@sifale78]

Yeah, I know...

[@sifale78]

I know...

[@haleyjensen3980]

True

[@lina.unicorn9216]

So true

[@becky8447]

Me most of time. I had fucking another.

[@kerenza8949]

you explained it so perfectly. im glad im not as alone as I thought.

[@VkFrost999]

I feel the same ... I feel somehow glad that I am (not) alone

[@ignacialavamaita1186]

Kerenza Am with you 🙆

[@user-iz2dl6sp5f]

I'm with youu

[@abbierodrigues9138]

With you all💗

[@zoemckinzie8860]

Kerenza it's true, I feel like that

[@-countfagula-2418]

"Cause I can't escape it , not when it's all happening in your mind so you just beat yourself up and beat yourself up til you feel so small" me with my anxiety/anxiety attacks😔

[@reaper1066]

Depression sadness Anxiety No matter what we call them their all the same there torture These are what keep us in bed wishing the outside world would just wash away and forget about us Words start cutting through are hearts like a hot knife cutting through butter having our feeling slowly melt away like ice on hot cement Are beds become a cave where we hibernate like bears because the outside world is to harsh with their words as bitter and cold as ice We keep going like this as the pain grows as big as the sun This keeps going on till we think we’re fine and we found someone that makes us happy and that burning pain washes away but then they leave which causes a flood of tears because the left us like paper and then they threw us out After this we start thinking we’re terrible Like trash This is not true though we all matter and when we find a way to end the suffering and torture within our hearts and souls we will glow as bright as the sun burning all the bad feelings and things away causing only the happiness to shine bright again

[@ragealien00]

Unicorneli 123 really that’s all you have to say

[@zuhnera2758]

These words hurt.They think they’re just words but they hurt you. when people try to make you sad don’t be sad be happy that’s what Allah swa said to do in the Quran. Here a poem: Sticks and stones they hurt my bones but I never let it get to me. 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

[@faith7751]

Sadness and depression are NOT the same thing. Anxiety and depression are NOT the same thing. Sadness is a feeling that goes away. It sticks around for a few minutes to a few days maybe. Sadness is NOT, I repeat NOT a torture. Depression eats you alive until you are bone dry. It hangs around for months to years. It doesn't let you live. It doesn't let you be you. You don't have any energy, you don't want to move. You aren't you anymore. You aren't okay. Most people hide it. Most people should get Oscars for their acting. Anxiety is something different. Anxiety, like depression, hangs around for months to years. You can't do anything without second guessing yourself. You feel people are always judging you, looking at you. It doesn't let you feel okay. Please don't call these things the same thing. They are completely different, especially sadness.

[@alielmassaoudi3429]

CrEaTiVe ImAgiNaTiOn it’s bec of the fact that they think it’s sadness at first but turns into depression with even more sadness added which is torturing yourself until the end...

[@idothisforfun]

Shut up

[@henryonyango6431]

Is it me or is she just beautiful..both on the inside and out

[@akiramarie5757]

I agree

[@diya3617]

ikr

[@lilypinteaux7080]

Henry Onyango your right... She is

[@guapo4852]

I'd wife her

[@elpidakeremidou3702]

that's right

[@yoshinana1]

earlier today my mother finally asked the question i prepared myself for. the question i've made sure i would have the answer to. "what goes through your head? why aren't you happy?" she didn't say it rudely if that's what you're thinking. it was one of those rare moments we're together. she was playing with my hair and she genuinely asked me. i was speechless. i had no words. all i said "i just don't feel okay". she asked why and i said i don't why. she said we all know why we're sad but we just don't want to admit it. but what if i don't know why i'm sad? what if i know i shouldn't feel empty because everything is okay? but i do feel that. i do and it won't go away and it frustrates the fuck out of me. she also asked "what can we do to make things better?". don't get me wrong, i love my mother to death, but she always leaves me speechless. i said "i don't know" again. then i make her frustrated because i don't know anything. i don't know why i feel like this. i don't know when it'll end. i don't know what will make things better. i do know things will, maybe, get better. eventually.

[@wasteful]

same here. yesterday she asked me.

[@ivettejuarez9098]

my mom did the sameting

[@irahmarie9168]

I also dont know anything why im like this. Its so hard. I canr even call for a help anymore, bcs none of my friends can understand and its hard for me to open up to my family.

[@aidisnotapotato1132]

Same here, and it just hurts so much not to know the answer to the seemingly most simple question "Why?"

[@gwenvanhelden4997]

Don’t give up. You’re strong. X

[@LordSauron22]

I have 8 voids in me. 7 are left from friends. I lost 7 friends to suicide. They taught me things. Merrie, she showed me the beauty of the world, of the people, and of myself. She was raped by her father and his friends. She slit her wrists over that. Jacob, showed me how to defend everything. The ones I love, the ones who love me, and the ones who are being beaten. He shot himself in the head with his Desert Eagle. Serena, she showed me how to be brave. She was abused by her mother, grandmother, and father. She jumped off a bridge and split her head on a rock. Rob, showed me how to be a friend to everyone. Hanged himself. Christian, showed me the love only a brother can share. He drunk himself to death. John, my oldest friend grew up with me and helped mold me into a confident person. Hanged himself. Joey, showed me how to have fun. We would laugh for hours over the smallest thing. Overdosed on prescription drugs. The 8th hole? That's the hole of me. That's the body, the person, who I wished to be. Who I killed so that I could live through the deaths of my friends, the abuse of my classmates, and the abuse from home.

[@miphacomedian303]

LordSauron 22 I know how you feel

[@hii2773]

You are the one person left out of 7 so live for you for them and for everyone else who wants you too.Because there are people who need you who love you I promise. Xxxxxxx

[@malenamorales206]

Live to speak and protect does who can't.

[@andrikascraftscreations519]

You must be so strong to get through all that... Where are you now ? I hope you are still staying strong ❤️

[@Harry-ie9vu]

It's funny how this emptiness can only be filled by ONE and that is GOD.Give Him a try,just speak to Him and He'll listen.

[@justrania]

*"You'll have great happy moments and just when you thought everything was fine - surprise! The feeling always comes back, it's just a matter of time."* Really accurate.. ❤️

[@amid.5727]

"feeling alone in a room full of so many people"...been there, done that, still happening...😒😐

[@alyviamurry9760]

Aminata Diallo same though😔

[@emilywileman6454]

ye ikr..

[@user-iz2dl6sp5f]

same

[@kimmysue4]

It funny how you sometimes forget the sadness with friends. Then you go to the bathroom. Then bam, as soon as you shut the door, the darkness returns.

[@kutlwanogaeratane1538]

I thought I was the only one who felt like that

[@JanaLoyy]

you said it..the words i cant even think of..the words that were rollinh through my hrad every single day..

[@morganjada6629]

Niana H. trust me

[@sincerely__3771]

I’m stuck in a room of emptiness and darkness. The person that people see is not me. That is fake. It’s just a illusion. It’s just pretending. Why can’t people recognize the real me that’s stuck in the room?...

[@hii2773]

Everyone feels like this sometimes but you do have the choice to change and the hardest thing is the choice but you are amazing no matter who you are so you can choose to be happy to be healthy to be your best self so choose that. Xxxxxxx

[@lucyh6827]

I write poems late at night when the feelings drown me, and when im older I can look back and be grateful that I didn't end it right now. Thank you for this. I know I'm not alone

[@emileerose2680]

I hope I'm happy when I'm older :(

[@jennabrown6798]

Emilee Rose me too

[@jasmine.valladares]

why not be happy now? "Almost every successful person begins with two beliefs: the future can be better than the present, and I have the power to make it so." -Albert Einstein

[@marrionhues7296]

jasmine barreto

[@casper1754]

You will me. Stay strong. I've been suicidal since I was 6 and I'm 12 now. I've turned to cutting before but I've stopped and I'm nowhere near as suicidal as I once was. I'm not really even depressed anymore. I promise you'll be okay. Just hold on.

[@ameliamoreno9642]

Emilee Rose don't ever give up finding your happiness. life always comes with a hopeful undertone, never lose sight of that. 🌹❤️

[@silverfritzreah5598]

can we please stop thinking of ourselves for a moment and realize that Taz isnt doing this for just the sake of it. this is her story too, and its sad that most people here are actually just thinking of the poem itself. Taz, i dont know you but ive been following your videos and little by little knowing your story. i thought you were getting better :( i really hope you muster up the courage to keep going. You can make it through. We will all make it through. Love ya.

[@mayssakh9318]

Fritz Catalan l

[@raheligeorge9992]

Fritz Catalan that's true

[@MedicatedWaifu]

People just don't " get better" listen, try to understand like all the people who come here do . That's all we want as humans is someone to be there , to understand . I know this comment was a while ago but someone who struggles with mental illness doesn't just stop going through that.

[@rafaelaajdarpasic7046]

Fritz Catalan True i agree

[@aryrawry]

It seems whenever i get over an obstacle in my life, and im free, a new and harder obstacle shoves me back each time.

[@r.r1328]

Same

[@s.b.2442]

Heyy stranger, how are you? if there is someting going on just come to this comment, tell me everyting! I can listen i’ll talk to you, you r not alone and don’t you ever dare to think that!🙏🏽 i’m here 4 u💕

[@kutlwanogaeratane1538]

You're so kind

[@bhuvisharma1239]

The world needs more ppl lyk u

[@r3nni3]

💕

[@Eli-in9bq]

I feel lonely , i feel betrayed, i feel down every day but don't show it.

[@elideangeli5098]

SkenS Beauty that’s so nice, I don’t know you but I love you ❤️

[@franklingartrell]

This made me cry and I'm not afraid to say that. Beautiful and powerful words sister. Nice...

[@3xxeduardaxx3]

Somestimes I just feel so unhappy and have no idea why, I feel like I'm missing something, u described how Ive been feeling my whole life.. thank you

[@aminarahman2671]

I just cried when I watched this

[@ratz220]

She is wonderful at it. If you like such content do checkout videos on my channel and also follow back to get notifications

[@jules.m.6919]

I had a serious breakdown yesterday.. And I cried more than I ever have in my entire existence.. Sad thing being,I don't know why I did..everything felt soooo overwhelming and the frustration I felt was because I couldn't pick out and say that "this is the problem" sigh...

[@alannajohnson5043]

I am crying so much at this moment. Every word she spoke is how I feel in my life. I wish I had someone to speak to. It hurts a much. I hate feeling this way. I appreciate the positivity at the end.

[@khalilmarre8381]

Alanna Gonzalez hay, I remember feeling like this one day, but remember that the bad days will eventually end and that the good days will come no matter how much you are hurt and afraid, just keep going you will be fine, trust your self and be fine.

[@alannajohnson5043]

Khalil Marre thank you for this. its hard to stay positive when you feel alone. but its easy to feel helpless on this journey of life when you don't have many support around you.

[@khalilmarre8381]

Alanna Gonzalez It's not really about being alone, it's more about feeling alone.

[@mikestephens7411]

Alanna Gonzalez lp

[@halfstep44]

Alanna Johnson i wasnt feeling the positivity...i just prefer ts eliot shitting on every positive vibe ever lol

[@tiffanyamber9401]

Iv never told anyone the way I feel inside and eventually iv stopped crying so much and this numb feeling came across me where now in my everyday life I forget to fake a smile and then people start saying oh is something wrong? but nothing is wrong and I didn't know other people could feel this way, until I saw this video and read these comments and I cried. I finally let some of my feelings out you have no idea how much I need this thank you, thank you, thank you.

[@sabrinacunha8583]

Anna Hardy so are we like the same person

[@tiffanyamber9401]

wild sabrina if you had the same reaction as I, I believe it is possible

[@annarees7248]

Anna Hardy (nice name ahah I'm Anna too) but I used to be just like this. I used to feel so unfulfilled and my life was just bland and horrible and I just felt pathetic and alone. The thing that put an end to my feeling of emptiness was my faith in Jesus. I have never been satisfied with just this world alone; the physical things we can see and touch. There HAS to be more than this globe and what is around it. Why would we humans know everything? Who decided that the only things that are real are the things we can see? When I explored the Bible and what it says in the context of when it was written I was literally stunned at how I felt. Everything made sense. It was genius and incredible and I felt so loved and things just felt right. With the unsatisfied feeling I had before, it was so hard to put into words. So was this new feeling but in a really good way. Have you ever felt like everything inside you is jumping up suddenly and you wanted to dance too? That's how it felt. Like getting butterflies but for a reason. I have been raised in a very loving Christian home and Church has always been one of the places I've felt safest and most accepted and celebrated, but until I realised my own faith for myself I never knew how fulfilled I could be. Even if it feels strange, please try and go to one or two church services or events. People there will be most likely be really lovely and open about their faith with you. Honestly, you just have to step out your comfort zone and try it. Even try praying. Just say some word out loud and I promise God is always listening. Give it a go even if you feel crazy because I can assure you you're not. It will change your life.

[@tiffanyamber9401]

annarchy thank you. but I'm sorry this doesn't work for everyone. I used to go to church and it's just not a comfort place for me. I pray everyday and yet I still feel nothing. thank you for trying to help though I appreciate your ideas and opinions

[@sophiepelletier7893]

Anna Hardy, I am a Christian and I also feel numb sometimes, I feel like God is not listening to me and that my "problems" are too small, but God is listening. It is really important to make sure you are placing your trust in God and really believing that He is right there and listening to you. Because if you don't truly believe that there is not anyone on the other side of that prayer, then you will only feel numbness. But if you open up your heart and mind and have Faith in Him He will bring you an unbelievable joy, a way to find the silver linings in every situation and not just the storm clouds. I will be praying for you, I really hope this helped

[@nojustno8468]

I sent this to my son. I want him to know that it does get better; the “emptiness” he may feel. The emptiness is a silence that has no voice but it lets us know to strive, to endure, to live. Thank you for your words. I love you Collin.

[@Filialunae9]

That's so kind of u for sending it to ur son..u know sometimes parents forget how there childrens are feeling.. Due to stereotypes I fe ashemed to tell my own family how i feel.. Ur a great mother keep supporting ur son

[@marie-pauline9282]

@@Filialunae9 I feel ashamed too that's why nobody knows how I really feels except some of my friends..

[@hasnajama9851]

you’re an amazing parent

[@Deannababii1995]

I have watched this video at least 100 times no exaggeration, and every time it helps me so much, the words are like my feelings and it makes me realise I’m not the only person in the world right now feeling like this ❤️ today you saved a life thank you

[@reenbeener]

It's like I'm talking to myself in the mirror....

[@denisebohorquez132]

This hit homerun for me. My childhood was extremely dark and I relate to every single word. When I was young I thought that I'd be better if I got away from the darkness... but the darkness follows you. I see that now and she's right. It doesn't go away. You just learn to live with it. I'm still learning and this video gave me so much hope. I have yet to meet ONE person that has endured what I have and can understand. Of course there are girls here and there that have been through something similar but not quite that of my level.. but THIS. As my tears are falling, this, is what helps me. I see now that I'm not crazy. I'm not the only one that feels or thinks this way and maybe all of my mood swings are just normal for my healing. I'm on time. ❤️ thank you so much for this.

[@lovelyvibes6451]

Sad thing is I don’t feel as if I’m happy nor sad I feel numb but I smile ig ive learned how to deal with life

[@AshriyaJaveed]

you've learnt to ignore life, please don't do that, try to do things which you like

[@mavisdom-animeonpiano]

I just had to cry my eyes out

[@tjasakmetic7639]

Omg that hit me right in the chord.... When I was listening to your poem it was like you were speaking directly to me... I feel this kinda void every single day and i can't explain it why... I have people who loves me but somehow i still feel completely alone and i hate this feeling... Sometimes i just wanna disappear...

[@elladb]

Tjasa Kmetic I totally relate. It's the absolute worst. But don't worry, you're not alone. ❤️

[@tjasakmetic7639]

Yes I know that im not alone... I know that there are people who feels the same way i do but for me everytime i feel this way i tried to talk to my friends about what im feeling but everytime they just told me to stay positive or look on the bright side, so i just shut down and pretend that im fine and whats the worst feeling its that im dying inside i feel empty like im just here and thats it... do you know what i mean?

[@elladb]

Tjasa Kmetic yes I see! it's hard to truly express yourself, it's easier just to say "I'm good" then explain yourself. :(

[@tjasakmetic7639]

Yes and you get used to saying that :(

[@crazycatlady6053]

Tjasa Kmetic same

[@ainsleyallen3309]

i can't tell you how many times i've rewatched this.

[@divyachaturvedi1917]

Then PLZZ watch this too U will really relate to this kzbin.info/www/bejne/h2GomJihn9mKg7c

[@amandadanes8975]

"Sometimes you can be in a room full of people and feel so alone."

[@ratz220]

She is wonderful at it. If you like such content do checkout videos on my channel and also follow back to get notifications

[@ratz220]

She is wonderful at it. If you like such content do checkout videos on my channel and also follow back to get notifications

[@ratz220]

She is wonderful at it. If you like such content do checkout videos on my channel and also follow back to get notifications

[@edenneufeld1663]

I don’t think you sound crazy. I had a very hard childhood and teen years and i feel like what you feel all of the time

[@natashapeart7436]

When you can relate and it's sooo scary. I'M NOT OKAY

[@bih1096]

If this is based on a true story... This is everything... this is me. Congratulations, you've described the feeling I've never been able to describe. So thank you.

[@kaysanoria9027]

Denisha Johnson same

[@raiven588]

Just sharing mine hehe ~My dear self I am grateful we've come this far, Even tho in your heart and mind there's this war. Causing you this crippling depression, Leaving you no other option. Many nights you spent crying, Trying to cover it up when you feel like dying. Many times you felt so alone, Trying to be happy on your own. You've fight every night to reach another day, Hoping that tomorrow has a new way. You never lose faith and hope, Never tie yourself in a rope. Tho life hard and is like hell, You've manage yourself and hide it well. I'm so proud of me, And even tho without others I'm still happy.

[@cryptcy8742]

This is too relatable, it makes me think how much my emptiness has changed me, i've been more emotionally distressed and no one can notice it. It makes me feel like no one really cares and I'm worthless.

[@MindlessManiac143]

I completely understand. I deal with this on a daily basis. Now, I don't feel so alone.

[@PenguinSauc3]

"you can be in a room full of people and still feel so alone." Hits the nail on the head for me.

[@bad_wisdom]

Love this...love how finally someone is honest about “just think positive” and “the solution is just self love”. We’re all looking for that “missing key”, that one thing...that will give us the chance to fill our hearts with so much happiness. Keep inspiring young lady! Keep being real and raw! 👍

[@lilyibbotson4130]

I can’t imagine a life without emptiness and that emptiness can pull you away from people and that only makes you more empty. That video is hard to listen to but something that every one in the world needs to listen too “sometimes you can be in a room full of people, and still feel so alone” that is the most accurate quote I think could be said about such a delicate topic thank you for this x

[@clarak4296]

i feel so understood. I have the exact same feeling you described since I can't quite remember. But I somehow always got through it, there were those good moments. And then, again the overload of sadness, emptiness and not caring about stuff that once was important to me. I can't deal with this anymore and in the last couple weeks I got an idea. Maybe I have depression. It would make sense.. the symptoms. But maybe I'm just weak, lazy or just not strong enough. I never talked to someone about this and I don't even know if anyone's is going to read my comment. But I will take the courage to talk to someone, I want to get help, I want to get my life together, to feel truly happy. Your video helped me with this decision. And I really really hope you got better❤

[@lilacreation2636]

I hope you will feel happy soon, I'm still young but, yeah, me too, sometimes I'm really not okay for no apparent reason...and I know how much that sucks... but take this courage and I'm sure you'll be happy sooner than you think

[@clarak4296]

Lilacreation you're so sweet. I'm still a teen too but yeah. I totally get what you meen and I hope that you will get better💗 (And I think your english is perfect but I can't be sure because I'm german😅)

[@aricherweck6052]

You're not alone ... the most genuine of us go through this .. thank you, I feel less alone

[@unoriginal3845]

I love this so much. I cried mentally

[@morganjada6629]

Dai H trust me

[@unoriginal3845]

+Morgan Jada omg you're gorgeous

[@morganjada6629]

Dai H awe thanks hun x

[@morganxx5965]

Thank you for this. The words spoken in this are so powerful. Feels good to know someone else understands how it feels to be this way and that “thinking positive” or doing things to take your mind off it, does nothing to help. It often feels like there’s no escape and knowing I’m not going crazy and that there are maybe some people who understand everything you’re going through.

[@lalalalala1280]

“It makes me feel like there’s something wrong with me and It’s sad to admit, that it becomes easier to lie and act like everything’s fine”.--- I felt that, I really felt that. I’m not okay and I hope this feeling will end soon because it sucks.

[@lisannedebrabandere9424]

I have never related to anything so much in my life. You've put into words what i could almost never describe. This is beautiful! Thank you for this!

[@minipie531]

look at all the comments... u r making a difference 😞

[@tinasimerale8529]

I totally agree with you! I give Yaz a lot of credit because I don't honestly think I woulda had enough courage 2 go on KZbin & talk about my depression. But I'm so extremely glad she did!! Look what she's accomplished! We are now ALL talking about our issues...

[@rachelt7849]

I've had excema since I was about 6 (14 now) and it has been a real struggle over the years and during one of my bad breakout I remember just sitting with my mum who was about to help me with my cream and I wasn't letting her, I didn't want to acknowledge the fact that I had to look after myself and it was just the most genuine and raw experience of my life because she saw the hurt in my eyes and just held me and we just stood there silently for a while taking in each other's warmth and she finally said "what's up" and I told the truth for what felt like the first time "I'm not okay, I'm never okay"

[@kutlwanogaeratane1538]

I wish I also had someone to talk to

[@petrapintye]

I have eczema too

[@lynavertia]

Im so proud of how far you have come since this time Taz. It overwhelmes me in a lot of way how much you have changed. Baby steps slowly but surely. Thank you Taz for so many things. I love you.

[@emilycostas]

You put it into words, and I am so thankful for that.

[@nomessnostress]

I feel you 100%! I hate being a victim and I feel confident and on top of the world for a month or two and then back to feeling hopeless

[@emilyeverett1033]

Chocolate Princess me too girl 🤕. Jesus helped but attacks of oppression come.

[@nandanisingh7762]

U r not looking crazy ...seriously u don't know how brave u r . U explained it so perfectly where i start crying every time i dare to share this to anyone

[@rala8051]

I watched this video on repeat 7 years ago and it helped me so much to realize that I am not the only one feeling this way. It randomly showed up in my recommendations today. I am grateful for this amazing poem and I want to give everyone watching this the hope that you will work through it. There is not one solution that gets rid of depression or trauma, but there are many small steps that give you long lasting increases in happiness, safety, belong and purpose.

[@user-gk5cg9gi5k]

Watching this makes me lose it . I've been holding it in for so long and then I just let it all out. I can't help but feel like no one understands me when I'm with everyone that are so perfect it makes me feel terrible, ugly, stupid and I'm so glad that I'm not alone. Thankyou for this. Thanks for telling me that I can Escape from it. Thanks for telling me that it will get better. Thankyou.

[@NoteworthyBeauty]

this made me cry.. I needed this more than you know and for that, I thank you.

[@inthelifeofzee]

Why do I find myself coming back to these videos... you so perfectly worded the thoughts that lingers through my head. The person you are now has to come back and see this. See the devils that you dreaded and how beautiful far you have come. And I wish someday I could do the same.

[@Sunset98.]

She spoke every words I’ve been feeling this makes me so emotional specially when she said: “when I’m in a room full of people I still feel alone and empty “ I relate so much 😭

[@tincan10thepoet71]

I am twelve years old and have so much depression in my life, but when I clicked on one of your videos, I felt as if I had finally found someone who understood what it felt like. Thank you so much.

[@lucyrenteria3604]

Hey ! I know how you feel , I started having depression at twelve years old at such a young age I was already stressing . I remember telling my parents but they didnt believe or get how I could have depression so soon . I would cry and cry oh so much feeling so alone but I knew I wasnt , I knew I had that one friend who understood me. I dont know if you are of any belief or don't but know theres a God and that Jesus Christ that died for your sins and knows exactly how you feel and all you have to do is kneel down and pray with a sincere heart , pouring your heart out, because he's there and listen to every single little thing, no matter how big or small, your needs are known. if you do decide to use my advice do it with faith in him, know that you have to be patient and the answer, comfort will come on his time not yours:D( he'll know when your ready to receive it , comes unexpectedly along with the feeling or thought, inspiration making you feel better ) Hope you feel better and wish you the best in all you do and know that your always loved.

[@tincan10thepoet71]

:)

[@jianncha7520]

Lucy Renteria you know what I feel the same too when I was 12 years old my parents separated and I feel like Im worthless and useless person because I have nothing to do but to cry but when I pray to God I feel like I have a worth in this world and he has a plan that's why it happened

[@chrjsnt]

daniel Azucena my parents did too, but I got over it. I just feel empty sometimes.

[@chrjsnt]

I just replied with my other account :P

[@youristjean5651]

I can legitimately say I can relate to this and that I felt like this all year this year. It was like I had everything... but I didn't have what I needed and even though I did figure out what I truly wanted and that I had to solve this problem I just kept putting it off until last week, like mid October, I went to church and listened to a pastor's life story which was similar to this and my situation and I couldn't stop myself from crying or feeling emotions that I had hidden from the world. Even though I am still working on it, I can honestly say it feels good to be moving in the direction to find that missing piece of me that I so desperately tried to live without. I will say this as well, the pain that I went through made me much gentler and much more emotional at some points emotionally numb until I was saved. I don't preach religion but in my case It been my crutch and has helped me figure out many things about myself in the last few years. The past 4 years have been some of the most emotional and just hardest years of my life. My anxiety level is ridiculous, I don't think I ever quite reached the level of depression but still, I have gone through everything and I found the only things that help me cope are filming/editing and especially football(soccer). The best I feel is when I can help someone because I see pain and I just want it to end, so I try to be there, and I ask whats wrong, and I try to listen(I actually cried a bit writing this). I hope that you can just look inside yourself and maybe see a glimpse of who you are and who you want to be or even that missing piece to the puzzle and just move towards that because I can promise it is there and it might not be as hard as you think to find, sometimes its just slowing down and asking what would make me truly happy, other times its just letting yourself dream and looking at that dream and trying to move towards that. I dunno what I'm saying at this point just know that the answer is there and that you can find it this year as long as that becomes your main goal if it isn't already. Good luck and I subscribed. I look forward to more great content like this

[@ninacarman3506]

I love the way you express all this. Keep breathing and well... Let life help and do what your good at.

[@Andrew36597]

It’s really nice to hear someone say something I feel, it makes me feel a little less alone in the world. I’ve just moved to a foreign country and I don’t really know people yet and I’ve already always had the feelings you’re describing, I’m feeling lonely and isolated and scared and I don’t know what to do. I want to cry but I don’t know how to, I feel so numb and nervous about things and it sucks so much, I want to be tougher and hopefully I will be but thank you. It’s nice to hear you say something I understand ❤️

[@jasmine3373]

I love this so much. It puts everything I've ever wanted to say in one video, and I'm so glad someone knows how I feel, so glad I'm not alone, so glad I'm not alone

[@billiejofleischman4917]

No matter how I try no one accepts me. So much sadness, loneliness, if must be me. It makes me hate myself.

[@eneriahsodagled220]

"You are stronger than you think. Give it time and you'll heal" Indeed😍 You're so beautiful.

[@lyriccampion9515]

I'm only through like half the video and already feel like someone finally understands

[@tiffany89610]

I feel you Taz i've always tried to tell my friends about this and how i just feel sad and empty all the time, they never get it. Thank you so much for making this video, it makes me feel not alone with this.💛

[@charlottelifestruggles8552]

i just want......i just need someone o want me to stay, tell me they want me and they'll never leave. but....they never do 😩

[@leejmcaninch]

Charlotte life struggles I wish someone would stay with me too. I don't want to die alone. But there is no way around it. And I know I deserve it. May God bless you all.

[@tinasimerale8529]

Lee, I know your comment was 4 months ago..but I really sincerely hope u don't think that u deserve 2 not have that special someone in your life. Everyone deserves that, no matter what mistakes we might have made in the past. My advice 2 you would b don't think 2 much about the past...think more on your future. I sincerely hoped this helped you.

[@shahed9963]

😔😔😭

[@dualmao6726]

Charlotte life struggles I want u to stay I want u and I’ll never leave 🙂

[@chloemcconnell3807]

Charlotte life struggles STAY I want YOU I will never LEAVE you

[@viveanaalmeida7854]

You are amazing despite what your going through I go through this everyday been on all types of medication tried everything to distract myself can't fix my self or sort myself out I know how hard this can be I'm just still stuck every word you say us exactly how I feel and what i go through and no matter how many nice things people say I can't accept it because I feel exactly how you have but I love your story x

[@scarletgrace6483]

I’m so sorry you went through this, I think we have all been through a dark time in our lives at some point but your words really meant something to me and I’m sure everyone else thinks that sooooo mwah 💋

[@sadiyahaque535]

Im so speechless. Ive never related to every word someones said like this so much

[@Taneeshahogan]

It's like you speak the words I try so hard to get out!

[@Zach-py8vb]

I don't know how to deal with this emptiness in my heart. I'm so glad that you made this video ! Thank you so much !

[@boneymacaroni13]

So this is why your channel was recommended to me ... I can't even explain how much I connected to this

[@Ipoop7colors]

I can look into your soul through your eyes. It's beautiful

[@LucyMayhemMusic]

thank you someone actually understands what I'm going through...

[@4leaffy]

I felt so empty I can't help it. Things just can't change but it'll get easier. I heard people told me to cheer up. They didn't know how hard is to cheer up. You didn't. I'm glad.

[@grey_2361]

I first heard this spoken word 4 years ago when I was 14 and I understood but I was in the extremely dark angry part and now I’m 18. Now, I understand it 100% more. (I came back to your videos because I remember these videos comforting me back then 😌 they still have that effect on me. Thank you for writing, performing and posting these.

[@Honey-qp6ti]

Are you aware that deep, intensive feelings and emotions are the best support for writing good poems? Maybe you need them just for that. I hope, you know, what I mean.

[@samgartner3008]

Christine Kapeller Would you choose constant suffering and writing good poems instead of feeling fullfilled, happy and not alone ?

[@benturner4348]

It's not about a choice, its about making the best of it.

[@eden3537]

I sent this video to my mom as well, I relate so much and I feel the same way. The way you describe everything is like everything I try to say when people ask me what's wrong. Everything I can find the words to. Thank you.

[@bryanv.3630]

You've perfectly described something I'm going through currently. Yeah, maybe I'm not as aged or experienced as someone that's an adult, but that's no excuse. Writing and music save me sometimes, without it I don't know how I could be functioning right now. Thank you so much for making this video. I don't think you will see this, but if you're still going through these problems, know that you're not alone.

[@asliakoglu298]

You speak out for so many people that don't have a voice truly inspiring

[@mr.tilapia3346]

While hearing this I just kept thinking " Some people just have to except that not all stories end happily." This thought just kept going through my mind, it kept going through my mind earlier in the day to. My best friend who I've been in love with for as long as I've known her, told me this poem. It was about depression and how it will get better. How there is always something or someone that makes you feel better. Someone who you can talk to and be free with. I just kept thinking "You are that thing, you are my person. You make me happy on my worst days, you're the one who got me to stop cutting. You are my thing." But of course I didn't say anything to her. I know my comment has really nothing to do with this video, I just need to get that out of my head.

[@shawlinkiller]

TheYellowEyed Man i understand you man, im in the same boat

[@user-iw9ki4fd5s]

It's amazing how real everything you said, that's exactly how I feel and I never thought someone else feel the same. Thank you so much!

[@heidycouturier6051]

there is a lot of video that i can stop in the middle or even at the beginning but not yours . you are amazing .

[@intellectualsolitudeproduc2865]

Started writing and memorizing my own poems but this is so inspirational. Glad I found this.

[@hartstochtelijk2871]

i'M NOOOOTTTTT OKAAYAYYAYAYAHEEEY YOU WEAR ME OUTTTTT

[@kuromi8384]

i want tyler to hit me with his ukulele yes

[@hartstochtelijk2871]

i agree

[@ClarisseColumnas]

i want tyler to hit me with his ukulele WHAT WILL IT TAKE TO SHOW YOU THAT ITS NOT THE LIFE IT SEEEEMS (IM NOT OOKAYY)

[@ameenahw6843]

i really hope the best for you , Taz. this physically hurts to see you hurting.

[@laragell7858]

I know I am bit late watching this compared to everyone else but I heard the first line and bust out into tears because you managed to put everything I feel into words which I never could. I was 13 when I found out I have depression, I sneaked out one day to the doctor, I listened to him speak when I first heard I couldn't breath let alone move. I couldn't tell my mum because she has sacrificed her whole life for me and I felt like a disappointment so I self harmed and I pretended I was okay. You just put what I have been feeling all my life into words.

[@ren4875]

This is the first time I watched your Spoken Word Poetry since I found your YT account (because I'm afraid I'd cry) and wow?! WOW! I cry a little bit. Good luck TAZ!!

[@soanm8654]

It started one year ago. I have the same problems and sometimes, I just wanna cry and I have no idea, why. And I don't even have any friends to hang around with, because the totally forgot, I am still there. I am all alone and I dont know, what makes me sad.

[@clarak4296]

Söan M I totally get what you're talking about. I feel the exact same way. But the best way to do something is to talk to someone, your parents, a sibling, maybe a teacher, someone you trust. And then you can get medical help because what you're describing sounds like depression to me and there are treatments for concurring it. That's what I'm about to do because I'm so tired of it, the emptiness, loneliness and not feeling happy. I hope you will get better💗 and sorry for any mistakes with in my english, I'm from Germany😅

[@soanm8654]

Clara Kösters Ich auch😂

[@clarak4296]

oh wow👏😅

[@spd7978]

Thank you. my god, thank you so much

[@juliadeciantis7763]

i feel this i have shivers i relate to this sm i say i’m ok when i’m crying and i care about ppl more then i care about myself they cry and when i cry i see what’s wrong and they say nothing what’s with u and i say i’m good but i’m not i’m never ok i never feel alright

[@sarre87]

Ive been searching al night, for something to help me verbalize how i feel. This was it, never have i related more to words than this. The end made me cry