I'm Pregnant | Lewis Black 3/23/18-Sarasota FL

Viewer Melanie Ellis takes advantage of Lewis' worldwide megaphone to announce that she is with child. Congratulations!
Submit rants to Lewis: www.lewisblack.com/live​​​​​​​​
Tour & ticket info: www.lewisblack.com/collection...
#LewisBlack #Pregnant #BirthAnnoucement #SarasotaFL

[@sagrammyfour]

My daughter-in-law's sweet, genteel, southern lady grandma described having a baby like "shitting a rocking chair." I had no words...

[@samielkhayri9272]

"Go to a Christian hospital" ... that was golden :)

[@oblivious8868]

This man is a treasure.

[@stephenorosz5151]

You mean "buried" treasure ! ( with a house on top ) !

[@oblivious8868]

@@stephenorosz5151 Clearly not; he's on stage you to see.

[@billgrandone3552]

With our first two my wife was in labor for thirteen hours both times. She didn't curse or swear. She satisfied her urge to curse by looking at me with a look that would freeze the soul of Superman. When we had the third, she just smiled and handed me a picture of a couch.

[@maureencrispi8841]

I did give birth in a Christian Hospital and of course cursed like a sailor, after everything was done and I was back in my room a nun came to my room and said where's Crispi...my last name, I raised my hand and told her it was me, she said "so you're the one" I said what do you mean she then said "you really cursed and loud". I thought I would die but then added " nothing we haven't heard before and chuckled.

[@TinedCleric]

In a different era that fucking nun would have taken your baby and sold him/her

[@satyr1349]

Classic every time I see a clip of him. -fan from the UK

[@maggierezac5820]

Well done, as usual Sir Lewis Black! I had 3 children in 17 months! Twins the 2nd time around & Dear Melanie, I did learn the louder the cuss words, the better the drugs that got pumped into my IV! The nurses told me I was frightening the other 'moms'. Did I care? That was the whole plan! Yep, it was in a Catholic Hospital! Rock on all!

[@scarbourgeoisie]

My wife has you beat! 3 children in 15 months, with twins the second time around. That was 1994-1995. The two you are in a very small sorority.

[@maggierezac5820]

Austin Powers, Wow! My 'round of spawning' was 10 years earlier! 1984-1985! While I was in labour with the girls, they were doing an ultrasound & said, "Don't panic, but there may be another we missed." WHAT???? Cue the cussin' for the good drugs! Blessings to you & your family!

[@scarbourgeoisie]

Thank you! We knew twins were coming. It was hereditary on my wife's side - she's a twin and so was her mum. First boy-girl combo though. Best wishes to you and yours as well.

[@lewisdoherty7621]

At the Catholic Hospital with you acting like that they would have had an obstetrician and an exorcist. Get the kid(s) out and whatever demonic spirit is in there too.

[@maggierezac5820]

Lewis Doherty, that's funny right there! I had it worse! My 'Evangelical' mother was there!! As for my 'spawn', they waited a few years before showing their demonic tendencies! Peace!

[@BaltoSojnekah]

That might be the most god damned amazing pregnancy announcement ever and at least one of these best submissions to the rant! Wow!

[@jc6594]

Happy 70th Birthday Lewis Black

[@Michellethompson5231]

LMAO!! I love everything about Lewis Black!!

[@Mov2groov360]

Congratulations Melanie!! Jusus-titty-fucking-Christ!! I'm gonna use that! Hahaha Lewis, funny as usual 😂😂😂

[@freewill51]

"Jesus titty fucking Christ"

[@bonn1771]

so good

[@maestermercy8512]

I hoped she named the baby Lewis

[@joannbowden6220]

If any woman ever needs a class on cursing during childbirth I could be the professor! First kid was induced labor, no pain meds, 10 Lb. 3 oz. boy. Yes, out my Va-jay-jay! Ouch! Think I created some new curse words that night! 😂

[@magjxn]

I *believe* the correct anatomical term is “vagina hole”. Congrats on the no meds and delivering something the size of our Thanksgiving turkey. My daughter came the same way, but 2 wks early and thankfully almost 3lbs less. But she presented sunny-side up with her neck somehow laterally flexed so the widest possible part of her disproportionately large head came first. At the time I wondered what the literal fuck, I’ll torn apart like a wishbone. Fortunately I think I was zapped with some sort of MIB memory-erasing neuralyzer that allowed me to temporarily forget that horror so I could go and repeat the process 3 more times. I’m a slow learner... 😝

[@harleyquinn6692]

He's great😂👍

[@snyderman001]

Here's a rant; KZbin puts a 46 second commercial up for a 2 minute video.

[@SirLyonhart]

That's more of a whinge. A rant would have been at least 4 sentences riddled with exclamation points and at least 2 "Fuck me!"s.

[@zeusthecatrh]

You can you borrow my curse words before my son was born on a full moon 34 yrs ago. The hospital was completely full. I was on a gurney out in the hall. GET ME A GOD DAMN DOCTOR NOWWWWW

[@taksanwagie]

MADOFF jus

[@judyoliverwest9467]

Oh how I adore Lewis... Saw him last year and bought a bunch of stuff, but it had such quality issues, I felt like Lewis was screaming 'FUCK YOU STUPID FOR BUYING MY CHEAP SHIT' So, I laughed some more... the joke was on ME

[@johntechwriter]

Of course I’m a Lewis Black fan. What thinking person isn’t? And so I appreciate his most recent work being available on KZbin. But I do not appreciate KZbin's auto-captioning algorithm censoring his words. Where Black clearly says “Fuck!” that word fails to show up in the caption. But the fuck algorithm is easily fooled. “Titty fucking” is fully worded in the caption. There is something satisfyingly Blackian (to coin a phrase) about this.

[@reubenmarchant2229]

My wife gave birth to our only child in a Navy hospital and I was there as her coach. A woman across the hall was having her second child, screaming like Satan was coming out, no one with her, her husband was on deployment. My wife yelled out; "Shut up over there it's not that bad!".

[@reubenmarchant2229]

Exactly, I wished I could have been two of me and at least comfort a bit.

[@landfair123]

Jusus-diddy-fucking-Christ! Even got the kids name picked out. lol

[@ezrabrooks12]

FUNNY STUFF!!!!!!

[@shawnthompson3059]

So this shows up 3 years later in 2021

[@Caperhere]

❤️👶🏻Melon.....ie.

[@KittyPurrsMistress]

Hilarious

[@natalie755]

I was born at Mercy Hospital Christian Hospital

[@brianellinger6622]

Ok? .

[@caroljo420]

Someone once said, if you want to know what giving birth is like, take a hold of your upper lip. Now, pull it over your head.

[@zeldasmith6154]

Over 14 million children are in the EBT program.

[@brianellinger6622]

Melanie knight

[@clumsiii]

and go to a Christian Hospital ----------------- my boy goddamn with the burns

[@Kawiturbo750]

I don't get the, "... and go to a Christian hospital" at the end. Sarcastic or...?

[@AndyMcGehee]

It was a joke, now ruined by my explanation of it, but here goes anyway: A Christian hospital is where "taking the Lord's name in vain" would raise the most eyebrows.

[@joannemiddaugh122]

I wonder if she lives in the South. Even better.

[@Kawiturbo750]

Thanks, it went right over my atheist head.

[@Riverdeepnwide]

Funniest line in the skit.

[@johntechwriter]

You’re right. You just don’t get it. So fuck off!

[@batman3279]

She better be glad she didn't give birth to me or my brother he was 15 lb 14 oz I was 13 lb 9 oz 7 to 10 lb those are small babies in this family

[@bigfatbaataed]

Go to a Christian hospital & during the initial stages of delivery call on God, Jesus, etc, then when you think you're close to actual delivery call on Satan to get this thing out of me, then when it's all over say well Satan really delivers, your guys not so much...

[@dennismetzger9287]

And they wonder why recent generations are not having kids lmao

[@gotfreid]

The baby's head comes out in the shape of a banana. Then magically changes to a baby head shape. The shoulders are smaller I think. Most babies are not broad shouldered.

[@freewill51]

Okay. Thanks.

[@MsColdCanada]

You've never given birth. I can tell.

[@brucemarmy8500]

Obviouslythe perspective is crucial

[@musicauthority674]

Yeah go to a Christian hospital, and cuss up storm really let them have it.

[@kzinful]

Alright Lewis you son of a bitch, you're playing here in Dallas and I really need to catch you live before America as we know will implode if Trump somehow is re-elected.

[@Guitarman7133]

ABORT ABORT ABORT ABORT. IF YOU DONT, YOUR BABY WILL LIVE IN A FORT. WITH BARS AND STEEL DOORS, SHE WILL GO OUT NO MORE, EAT FROM A CAN AND PEE ON THE FLOOR.

[@PissyLissy]

Wtf dude?

[@APRIL2862]

So this is his new routine, and people knowingly pay to go watch him do this crap? Thank goodness I left the states in 2002 and never looked back!

[@mysticswalk3086]

We're glad you left too!YAY!

[@Mega-knight_55]

He just does these brief segments at the end of every show. Its not the entire show🙄

[@handyman3870]

April Mae I agree thank god you left the states.

[@handyman3870]

I agree thank god you left the states. It was a blessing to us all.

[@PissyLissy]

Sucks for you because America is the best country to live in! You just don’t remember what real entertainment is because you left your real home a ton of years ago! You’re old.

[@fuzzy121]

LMAO!!!