I'm Thinking Of Ending Things With My Wife Because She Wants To Open Our Marriage r/Relationships

[@elizabethdavis7093]

My SO is part Japanese. He told me that he took his ethnicity down off of dating apps before me bc of women fetishizing him like this. 🤦🏻‍♀️ so gross.

[@kaykay8855]

Its weird how people fetishize different races. An ex of mine was into slave-play.

[@starbird3939]

@@kaykay8855 🤢

[@kaykay8855]

@@starbird3939 I know right! Why do people do this?

[@elizabethdavis7093]

@@kaykay8855I’m so sorry! That’s awful.

[@boneymeroney2674]

I didn't know this type of fetish was a thing. Every day. I learn new ways people are weird and creepy.

[@lauragarza7585]

As a polyamorous person. Every time I see a post of couples wanting to open their marriage, because they already have interest in one specific person never ends well.

[@Batman-lg2zj]

Unless you are like the dude from sister wives .

[@alymatronicdeeare8265]

Same.

[@lorianabanana6066]

Right?! I have multiple friends who are either poly/thruples or occasionally bring someone home (or combos of all the above lol). But their relationships were ALWAYS like this. And they always make sure to prioritize and focus on each other. Other people are just casual flings or friends who can handle only being there for 'fun time' and aren't trying to break the relationship apart. Personally I think it's all about honesty and knowing yourself. You need to know what you want and be honest with your partner(s) from the begining. Like I am VERY monogamous. And I have zero interest in ONS's or flings. So when I got with my partner I made 100% sure we were on the same page. Even tho I'm bi he knows if he ever brought home another woman with or without my knowledge I'd burn the house down with them in it lol. But I don't judge what other consenting adults do- CONSENT being the big word there. I believe cheating negates consent and kills any love or trust which 100% ends everything.

[@ladythalia227]

Kory? How did that end well? His Kids hate him and three wives have left him.

[@SappyDuder]

​@@Batman-lg2zj how did sister wives end well, my guy? Isn't he divorced by the one he legally married and the rest left him? I'm sure there are better examples than the guy from Sister wives

[@Pastel_Dreams]

1st Story: Not even getting into the whole pseudo-polyamory excuse, but OP’s wife sucks for her fetishizing Asian men 😡🤢

[@errantwinds-up8uu]

Yeah being attracted to certain types of people is one thing, but she is on a WHOLE scary weird and inappropriate level. It sounds like she genuinely only likes this friend sexually because he's Korean. Gross.

[@DominicanaChika]

Right?! Stop fetishizing AN ENTIRE GROUP of people!

[@vanguardangel6912]

Exactly! Preferences are okay but like godDAMN. Especially when she said her kids aren’t as cute? Like bruh.

[@untitled-gv3qp]

It was the kid comment that got me. It wasn't just weird and mean to her non asian kids, it was gross considering her obsession with asian men. Are you really just gonna say your kids aren't as good to you because they don't have the traits that you sexually fetishize? 🤮

[@Midnight0Mistress]

Yeah it's so awful.

[@BbiBbii]

Wants to sleep with OP’s best friend and has always openly fetishized Asian dudes 💀 OP better book it, and book it quick 😅

[@PlasticBluVentRabbit]

“I wanna open our relationship. You can watch.” Relationship? Opened. You’re single now. Bye.

[@susankaempfer8427]

13:03 Make a list of everyone telling you you’re petty. Call them at 3am. Tell them they’re petty when they complain.

[@driversuz44]

Story 1: No Markee, talking is no longer the best strategy when your partner will only trickle truth you, and that's where this guy already is. His wife wants to rewrite the terms of the entire marriage; she's already checked out. She's not the person he thought she was when they married, so why would he want to win her back? The marriage is over.

[@SkyEcho751]

Yep, she clearly displayed Trickle Truthing. When they start doing that, it's too late to save the marriage, they have their foot out the door and you usually need to leap out the window to escape first.

[@hyzenthlayrose2176]

I love Markee and all but it's frustrating how he always goes for "communicating is important" even in posts where it's clear divorce is the only option.

[@Jonnyrocket4311]

Drop this 304...

[@fredyphoenix]

I don’t understand why op trusted the friend so much. I wouldn’t be surprised if it was more than a kiss and the wife just went with it.

[@SkyEcho751]

@@fredyphoenix Sorry, but the WIFE was the one coming onto the friend. And unlike with the wife, the friend was (seemingly) upfront with the truth. The confrontation just confirms what the friend says, and she didn't claim it happened in any other way. And OP isn't looking at his friend the same way because his friend withheld the information.

[@TheIronwil]

Sleep Deprivation: NTA. It’s amazing just how fast someone “gets” it when they’re the one dealing with the aggravation. In this case, the sleep deprivation. That’s incredibly entitled and careless on OP’s husband’s part. I’d have lost my mind the first day he tried this crap.

[@enerioffutt1881]

OMG I know. I had people in the next bedroom once being loud and it led to me screaming, crying and looking for things to throw. In my case, this would have started with me charging into the bathroom, screaming, "What the F@#%!" and gotten worse from there. Trust me, he would have KNOWN I was not happy.

[@WhitneyDahlin]

I dont buy any of excuses. She politely asked him over and over again and he just refused to care. Your grandmother's death and you liking to have conversations with your wife it's not an excuse enough to blare music that keeps her awake. She has the patience of a saint because i wouldn't put up with that for even one day. She got him waterproof headphones too! I dont like this guy and i dont like how the only way he could understand was when he had to experience it. He's the type of person to cheat on her and then lose his mind when she cheats back.

[@terramarini6880]

I love that the "die MF die!" song shut him right up.

[@sgm8265]

@@WhitneyDahlin Exactly. Why does he have to be told his actions are upsetting? He knew what he was doing and is just a selfish manchild. Tell him to gtfu.

[@diamcole]

Nah lol I don't even need to hear this in its entirety, END IT.

[@xelectrix]

You should, because it gets so much worse. Yikes, this woman needs help.

[@diamcole]

@@xelectrix Oh I finished it. She's disgusting and I'm so glad he's walking away from the relationship. And I seriously hope he doesn't lose his friendship over such a vile person.

[@bjtaylor-j9w]

@@diamcole So him making no effort, and focusing solely on himself, sexually, and him doing NOTHING to make her feel special, desired, and respected, that is HER fault? You don't have the balls to reply respectfully, little willy wavers.

[@SnowyWolborg]

The fact that she admitted to wanting to sleep with someone who is in such direct closeness to OP's personal life is *beyond* a red flag. Ethan Choi is a perfectly sexy man, but if the wife feels this way, then maybe she should have married an Asian man? Or better yet, she can have as many of them as she wants, being single. After something like that comes out of her mouth, there's no way that he can possibly trust her without always looking over his shoulder. This is not an issue OP can fix, because it's not a matter of something he has done, but a matter of what he _is_ that does not satisfy her.

[@whitneybennett4857]

Considering this has apparently been her fetish for a long time, I can't help but wonder if OP's friend is the only reason she got with OP in the first place.

[@untitled-gv3qp]

​@@whitneybennett4857 It seems like it from the update. And that makes it extra gross that she stayed long enough to have kids with the OP and then try and pull this type of mess. She didn't even ask the friend if he wanted any part in her s3xual fantasy, she just assumed that she could use the guy like that and he'd be cool with doing that in front of his best friend. At that point it's less of a fetish and more of an obsession with the guy or just Asian men in general. She needs help. No one wants to be with someone that fetishizes their race. Those types of people are creepy to anyone they view that way.

[@KE-hr4sb]

S2: NTA. He’s gaslighting you; you did try to have a conversation and he brushed you off. “Honey, can you turn down the music/can you use the downstairs shower like I do so I don’t disturb you in the mornings?” is all you had to say. He refused, and is now twisting the story to make you feel guilty/sound bad to the family. Makes me wonder what other controlling or manipulative red flags you’re missing. ETA: lol I love me a good petty revenge story. 😈

[@AIBot929]

S2: Normalize couples having their own bedrooms/beds. Because honestly it alivieates alot of issues

[@angelaa7388]

God, I wish we had an extra room that could just be mine.

[@kumikor3392]

Story 1: the friend was SA'd and then fetishized. They were probably scared of losing their friend, and now he'll lose OP anyway. OP still deserves to feel berated, regardless.

[@kumikor3392]

Story 2: why are the friends and family even involved? This isn't anyone else's business. OP is being mature, and the partner is a massive AH

[@JasperCatProductions]

Story one is sad, I feel bad for the husband. There is nothing OP can do with this kind of stuff. He deserves to be loved for real,not second fiddle cause he can never be her fantasy it’s not your friends fault your wife is a wack job.

[@bjtaylor-j9w]

Yet you lot would NEVER condemn a MAN who had fantasies about a specific type of woman. You are typical, misogynist, woman-abusing, Americans, who think that any woman who dares to speak up, or dares to think she has a voice, or rights, is a 'whack job' who needs 'therapy'. You do not have the balls to be civil, so run along, little misogynist abusers of women, and do not bore me with your pathetic drivel.

[@CatLoverX74]

The way she just thought his friend would be willing to sleep with her was disgusting! Like he has no choice in it! Glad OP is divorcing her because it’s just a matter of time before she cheats if she hasn’t already. Do wish the friend told him but like he said she was drunk and he didn’t want to ruin their marriage. But just because she was drunk is no excuse for that behavior! He should’ve told him regardless. Second story I’m glad she actually did become petty because it seemed to get it through his head how thoughtless he was being. I’m sorry for the loss of his grandma and I’m glad he’s gonna seek therapy. The family members need to be asked if they’d like to be woken up at 3am with loud music 😂

[@danacarter9147]

Same here. But sadly, my heart bleeds for OP's kids; when the kids hit 16, they'll run away from their mother and OP's best friend to fake friends' houses, next, at 17 or 18, one of OP's kids will marry a guy who cheats on her, and the other will marry a guy who abuses her, then, with babies on the way, they'll move to different states to provide stable homes for their babies, get their GED certificates, move into public housing, and work multiple jobs to provide their babies as single mothers. Sadly, OP's kids won't have any family (including himself) in their new states to look out for them; the only families they'll have (OP's kids and their babies) will have are each other.⚠️

[@kichikitsu]

​@@danacarter9147girl, are you okay?

[@bjtaylor-j9w]

Yet you would NEVER judge a MAN for cheating, or for objectifying women. Reddit has shown me that all American men are utter misogynists, and abusers of women, and that American culture, and law, does no see women as human beings, merely as domestic slaves and forced sex workers, and does not see rape of women, domestic abuse of women, or any crime against women as crime, but as a mans 'right'. Sickening. None of you can name even ONE male American who truly respects women, and accepts that women are their EQUAL, or ONE male American who has raped, or committed another crime against a woman, and who has even been arrested for it. A SHERIFFS' DEPUTY revealed, that, under US law, a man can murder a wife who cheated, and it is 'justifiable homicide', and not a crime, under US law. None of you have the balls to reply TRULY respectfully to a WOMAN or a NON-AMERICAN.

[@randomusername3873]

Imagine knowing your best friend's wife tried to cheat on him and not tell him I'd drop the friend too

[@bahnmi436]

Waterproof headphones would be a solution. Also, please bring it up in the moment. Children, dogs, and apparently this guy, all need problem behavior addressed immediately.

[@robertx8020]

but there already IS a solution! Shower downstairs !! And talk to your WIFE not go as a loser behind her back to your family where I bet you LIED!

[@FinnishLapphund]

Story 2: Simples, record the music he plays while showering, from your bedroom, preferably also showing what time of the day it is, then show/play it to anyone that agrees with him, maybe post it on Facebook or other Social Media, too. If that doesn't help, stop showing consideration to someone who is inconsiderate, start showering in your bedroom's bathroom.

[@GLoLChibs]

No, this is not a communication issue. She's racist toward her husband, fetishizes another race, and has made it crystal clear she isn't interested in her husband for years.

[@Letha-AnnCooper]

Ok , if it’s petty to sleep down stairs. Stay in your room and shower while he is sleeping while playing loud music. No problem. Don’t keep trying to keep the peace

[@sandracox4341]

Story one before I heard any updates or the entire first part I already had problems with her. A: she has a fetish for Asian men. B: what woman would say her children are not as cute as they would be if their father was Asian. I'd be worried for your children on the chance she gets pregnant with an Asian man and shows preferential treatment for her new child. C: she's a narcissist person who sees Asian men as objects that she can have on a whim and they will be thrilled she's showing interest. 🤔🙄

[@ladyv5655]

The one about the husband blasting music while in the shower is still problematic for me, even though they settled the shower issue. After the OP started sleeping in another room, her husband set his flying monkeys on her to berate her for it. He probably didn't tell them the whole truth, like why she would do that. I don't have much hope for this relationship unless he goes back to those same people, explains what was happening and owns that it was his fault. As it is, he'll continue to be a selfish AH who sends people to bully his wife whenever she displeases him.

[@pattsdannys6316]

Story one; men get sexually assaulted too... And feel shame from it, and due to the toxic masculine mindset of society, feel like they can't share what happened, so it's possible the friend both didn't want to ruin things over a drunken action, and felt ashamed that they were forcibly kissed...

[@Letha-AnnCooper]

Oops! Time to go. So sorry. Your wife is going to cheat with the first Asian man that will have her Don’t blame your friend. He probably has no idea that your wife is out to seduce him. Take your kids ( who aren’t cute enough for her) and build a new life

[@KCohere33]

I can’t believe she said that about her kids.

[@bjtaylor-j9w]

Yet he would demand that she accept it, and say nothing, when HE wanted to cheat.

[@DarkwaveMistress]

Story 1: at first I was kind of funny she got mad about the character getting a partner because I know selfshippers that get sad when that happens and it's part of the experience for them, But as soon as op mentioned her fetishizing Asian men it was like 🤮

[@TaliPolk]

When I saw that I knew IMMEDIATELY that she read x reader smut fics online.

[@DarkwaveMistress]

@@TaliPolk same. It's really weird when people do that with actual human beings honestly.

[@boneymeroney2674]

I always have doubts when OP starts out talking about how wonderful their partner is. JFC. 2 minutes in and there it is. Wife is not amazing. 😂

[@witchlybabe]

I just immediately lost my patience when OP starts "Oh, he's wonderful, except for [possible war crime], but I just love him so much 🥺" Like at some point, you just either have to grow, find, or steal some self respect or just stop complaining. Either it's bad enough to do something about it, or you've decided it's fine to live like this and you need to stop raising my blood pressure

[@carlrood4457]

Every once in a while my wife will wake me up in the middle of the night to talk about something that's bugging her. I'm somehow supposed to get past my initial WTH and jump into discussion mode from a deep sleep. My brain doesn't work that way. I can't have a meaningful conversation right after waking up; that includes in the morning. Waking up is a process. I'm actually pretty good at not being woken up by external stuff. I grew up sharing a room with two brothers. I remember when my wife first moved in and complained about the train noise from about 6 blocks away. I never noticed it.

[@anonmouse15]

The only acceptable reason for being woken up is if the house is on fire, or similar.

[@dream6562]

Yes Markee conversation is always the 1st step to see where you stand, alot of people here and on reddit nagging on that advice speaks from a jaded perspective, dont let the haters get you down

[@dmaxcustom]

What you fail to grasp, is that any partner that ask for opening the relationship has already checked out, already has someone in mind, does not respect you, wishes the permission because the other person does not want to lose the meal ticket. The talking time was before, not now. So, yeah, guy has to get his crap ready and leave her and assure custody.

[@bjtaylor-j9w]

Yet not ONE person on here would EVER judge a MAN for seeking an 'open' relationship.

[@dmaxcustom]

@@bjtaylor-j9w Wrong. This goes both ways.

[@bjtaylor-j9w]

@@dmaxcustom Show me then. Show me MEN being judged, or condemned, for cheating, or for abusing women. No? Didn't think so, as it does not happen. You will sneer. and say 'look it up yourself, b****'. You don't have the balls to reply respectfully, or even in a civil manner, to a WOMAN and NON-AMERICAN.

[@bjtaylor-j9w]

@@dmaxcustom SHOW ME. Show me content where MEN are judged, for cheating, for abusing women, or for abandoning women. No? Didn't think so, as Reddit refuses to shown such content. You will just sneer, patronise, ridicule, name call, or hurl abuse. You don't have the balls to reply respectfully, or even in a civil manner,

[@fleacythesheepgirl]

Story 1 - I love that you brought up the moral greyness of the friend not telling the OP when his partner propositioned him. This could have saved OP so much hardship.

[@jenniferhanses]

Story 2: NTA. And he deserves what he gets if he's constantly waking you up at 3 a.m. I am an extremely deep sleeper. I once was a house guest when my friend was invaded by a family of raccoons in the middle of the night, and she and her barking dog chased them all over the house with a frying pan. I was on the floor on an air mattress in her dining room. According to her, I lifted my head at one moment and looked like I might get up, and then face planted and continued sleeping. I am, however, extremely photosensitive. Turn on the lights and I'm going to wake up real fast and be very cranky about it. Wake me up repeatedly and one of us is leaving. I don't care if it's me or you, but this house isn't big enough for both of us, and you do not want to argue with me when I'm angry and sleep deprived. That way lies violence. I'm willing to retreat in order to not have a fight, but if you force a fight on me, it's going to go real bad real quick because there is no reason for anyone to be such an inconsiderate ass about waking up their partner. There's zero excuses for it.

[@madgevanness4011]

One of the methods of torture is not allowing sleep. If they don’t have kids, change your sleeping hours to his shift hours,use a video recorder for shows, and start your day at 3 AM. Doing your usual stuff, like treadmill, vacuuming, watching TV, while he’s trying to sleep may open him up to actually listening. 2 beds: besides the restless sleep issue, the talking in sleep, the phone calls at odd hours (work related), the incompatible sleep schedules, snoring…..

[@KariGrafton]

"Do you leave your hand in the other bed" 🤣🤣💀

[@mikamischief1239]

Folks like that are why I can't wear my freaking merch in public without being looked at weird. Other than that, she's just plain weird and inconsiderate of everyone's feelings. She even said her own kids aren't as cute... like... what?

[@CroobieLetter]

Story 2: I've ended friendships over texts waking me up in the middle of the night, can't imagine a partner like this

[@KCohere33]

He is so inconsiderate it’s not even funny.

[@charliebgoode4729]

For story 2, start with communication (OP did), then start with warfare. Shower dance party with Shoop or Rasputin or the Cha Cha Slide on blast

[@SaturnSenshi3105]

“Communication is key” YES MARKEE SAY IT FOR THE PEOPLE IN THE BACK

[@whitneybennett4857]

Kind of beside the point, but people also need to cut it out with this "coming out as polyamorous" stuff. If you're wanting to open your relationship/marriage, you're not coming out as polyamorous. You're coming out as someone that found a human being other than their partner that they want to spread their legs for or stick it in without consequence.

[@anonmouse15]

So, polyamorous, then?

[@Qwerty95ish]

​@@anonmouse15something communicated before marrige

[@keishaizawesome2836]

The fact she thought that was gonna actually work😂🤦🏿‍♀️

[@wdeemarwdeemar8739]

That amount of disrespect would get dealt with quickly. She is asking for permission retroactively.

[@errantwinds-up8uu]

"It's unfortunate when we run across real human beings on Reddit" 😅 Yeah we do need to remember that more often.

[@hiroshi7025]

Wife : *Wants to comment adultery* Guy : Hmmmm.... Should I stay or should I go? 🤔🕺 I'm calling cap, Markee. A dude like you, single? Yeah, right. 💀

[@ondank]

Story 1 : Communication only makes sense when you have something that can be resolved. "My wife has a twisted fetish with Asian people, has been negging me about it for years and is now trying to use the idea of an open relationship to lay the groundwork for potentially leaving me for my best friend, at which point she would likely abandon our kids or emotionally abuse them for not being beautiful and asian" is not something you can communicate on. I really hate saying this, but imagine everything she did was done by a man. No one would suggest a woman stay with a man like that.

[@Mao-s6q]

If OPs friend was a woman, you would say that she was “assaulted” but wife. Unwanted advances & he left should not be a reason to be mad.

[@Shadowstorm612]

As someone who would love to have a great marriage i can't comprehend how you destroy it over something so stupid

[@adriennewaterhouse5174]

I knew a guy like this. He didn't respect me or my opinion. Until I got mad at him. And in his face about it, then he's like, oh ok

[@Demonic_Culture_Nut]

Story 2 -- OP should've told þe friends and family what her husband "conveniently" left out because we all know he "conveniently" left out þe parts þat put him in a bad light.

[@tamarrartis2918]

I've been in OP's wife situation. The illness of fantasizing asians. Men and women since I'm bi. Unlike her, i realized my problem and got help. She has kids and is still obsessed. I'm so sorry, OP. This marriage is over. Welcome to co-parenting.

[@hoovy4746]

If I get woken up suddenly and/or violently, it triggers my fight or flight and it leans towards fight.

[@sophdog2564]

I think communication is important but i do think that when the other person ahead has someone specific in mind it's probably too far gone for communication

[@Jesusblowsme666]

Story 1: Why is it always Jimin? 😂😂 Leave that man in peace! Lol

[@ellamitchell1270]

Story 2 - start playing loud music in the morning so that he can see how disturbing this obviously is. What an inconsiderate jerk. Leave this baby of a jerk.

[@InDeathWeLove]

No talking is beyond this. She has been disrespectful for years to the point of even insulting their children which at this point can’t even be excused as a joke anymore. Also asking to seriously slee with his childhood friend or open the relationship is a perfectly good reason to divorce her.

[@trajano777]

Maybe the wife took the friend staying quiet as a sign of him liking it, but didnt want to hurt his friend? That would explain why she thought the friend would be in for it. "He likes me and that is why he didnt tell you of it!" I mean people with weird obssesions do some hardcore mental gymnastics to racionalize their behaviour.

[@thatlycantomboy]

honestly the wish of wanting her kids to be a different race is just? disgusting? god just ew. but yeah, I understand feeling a bit betrayed by the friend, he should’ve said something when he got kissed… but at the same time I understand his position. I do hope OP can forgive him because he seems like a decent friend and it’s so terrible that he was fetishized like that

[@melissar4612]

My parents have slept in separate beds for 40 years. My mom snores and my dad kicks in his sleep. It's worked for them!

[@Fireprincess161]

My partner and I sleep in separate rooms and I can STILL hear him snore on cold nights in winter. I cannot express how miserable I was when I thought it would be rude to sleep in a different room. I just got a single bed for my home office, he has the double bed and I go there when it's not too hot in summer, neither of us are sick, or when neither of us are snoring.

[@jaymevosburgh3660]

Markee, you are correct. Communication is always the key, even if you don't want to hear what the other person has to say.

[@MsAnonymous1981]

Story 1: Don't blame friend for not telling on her. Scenario 1: Friend gets mad at the messenger and kicks his ass. Scenario 2: Wife turns it around on friend and claims he assaulted her-it's he said/she said. OP didn't seem bright in his relationship. This woman is creepy. Getting jealous because a female character got involved with someone she's physically attracted to? OP's wife isn't bright either... disappointed because she didn't have mixed race kids? She should've married someone of Asian descent. Going to guess maybe she tried but couldn't hide her crazy. Story 2: Can't believe she had to "fight fire with fire" to get him to realize he was being a douche. She tries claiming how "nice" the guy is, but when things didn't go his way, he was telling the family an edited version of what happened-probably downplaying what he was doing. My sis did this kind of stuff... "He's such a great guy... I only remember 5 times he was mean to me..." Meanwhile I remember much more. He let her friends eat all her food when she was pregnant so she was starving. We bought her Ensure-the friends drank all of those, He locked her out of the house and wouldn't let her in because he was working on a bicycle. He couldn't stop for 5 minutes. It was cold. But he didn't beat her. Some women set the bar so low. Everyone knows loud music at 3 AM isn't right and then to dismiss her and try to make her feel guilty when she came up with a valid solution-that's red flag territory. He uses the grandma died excuse, but I don't buy it. He could've talked to her during normal waking hours and explained what he was feeling or planned a time with her.

[@untitled-gv3qp]

I do feel sorry for the friend in story 1. He was in a lose/lose situation. I think it would've been better for him to have told the OP but the guy isn't psychic. How was he supposed to know that the OPs now ex wife wasn't just confused because she was drunk? Or that she was obsessed with Asian men? I don't think the OP will cut him out of his life though. The OP is just blaming everyone right now because he's still in an emotionally fragile place. He'll come to his senses sooner or later. I'm more concerned about the kids. The ex wife was showing signs that she didn't really care about them when she was complaining that they weren't Asian. I feel like she'll either neglect them now that the OP isn't around, or she'll try and force them to imitate what she sees as asian cultures and behaviors.

[@leafyishereisdumbnameakath4259]

Story 1: I hope no asian man gets desparate and stuck with that vile woman. 4:55 people who say this dont deserve to get married ever. Or have sx.

[@sylvia7867]

Story one - no more communication necessary- she has communicated that she wants another man inside her. Enough said - divorce her asap.

[@Center-For-I.E.D.Mismanagement]

Story 1: ⚠️WARNING! WARNING! ⚠️ *LEGBEARD DETECTED!!!*

[@RockinTheBassGuitar]

If my husband asked to "open our marriage" I would leave with no further discussion. We made vows when we married and I'm not interested in modifying them.

[@bjtaylor-j9w]

He would expect you to accept it, without question, and stay faithful, whilst HE cheated repeatedly. He would refuse to sign divorce papers, leaving you unable to be free of him.

[@Center-For-I.E.D.Mismanagement]

​@@bjtaylor-j9w Speaking from personal experience?

[@Hiker_who_Sews]

My last bf snored. Even with earplugs, I couldn't sleep.

[@noname-ip9xe]

Leave her and take the kids, I’m actually really disgusted that she said that about her own children, she doesn’t deserve them and she doesn’t deserve Op, frankly, she doesn’t deserve them, human beings are human, not fetishes.

[@clarrie93]

1:16 lmaoooooo i got so suprised at the sudden mention of Eric Mun, the leader of kpop group Shinhwa, first gen - debuted in the 90s lol the man is 40s

[@colleens1107]

Story two: my hubby is a horrendous snorer and I’m an insanely light sleeper. We don’t share a bed as his snoring can be heard THROUGH EAR PLUGS. Not his fault and our marriage is fine. Some people just can’t be bedmates but that isn’t a dealbreaker

[@Detector1977]

s1: The biggest issue is that the wife doesn't love op. That is ALL he needs to know. What the reason is not that important. No woman who loves her man acts like that. But i is DAMN hard for men to put her down from that pedestal...

[@kichikitsu]

"to keep herself from cheating on me," is exactly why talking cannot help. Not because of the cheatung aspect -- but because she feels entitled to OP's friend. She sexually assaulted him via kissing him without consent and now has been lusting after and objectifying him for YEARS and just... assumes he'd sleep with her if she offered? are you kidding me? she has no concept of consent because she does not view asian men, particularly this friend, as human -- but as toys she can fetishize. its racism & gross entitlement to other peoples bodies all wrapped in one.

[@fishbowl5308]

It's one thing to open a relationship but then to straight up ask him to watch wtf is wrong with her

[@catsncrows]

Omg finally! I had uber driver I somehow got twice who was whiny because he wanted to date a korean girl and her family was "ck blocking him" and he only wanted a korean girl. I tried explaining how ick I found this to other people and I was Bad Person for feeling this way to people I talked with about it, so annnnoying!

[@lilfairykiki122]

Story 1: having a racial fetish like that is so gross, liking someone who happens to be Asian is not at all the same as liking someone s because they are Asian. He needs to divorce her as he’s not a pretty little Kpop boy but a “boring” white man. Talking it out won’t help. If you ever tell me you want to screw another person let alone MY FRIEND it’s over that second. Ew.

[@malakitimes3125]

Very relaxing background with the candles and fireplace burning.

[@juliearmfield2634]

Story 2. Nta. Absolutely beautiful malicious compliance. 🤣🤣🏃

[@TaliPolk]

It broke my heart when I went on a date with this guy and he asked me in the most sad voice, "You didn't agree to come here because I'm Japanese, right? A lot of girls have only gone on dates with me because I'm Asian." I wanted to be there because I liked him. I'm a bigger girl so I knew what it was like with chasers, but it still broke me to know he always had to vet the girls that were interested in him.

[@yeetnama9094]

oh boo hoo, ffs😂

[@Center-For-I.E.D.Mismanagement]

​@@yeetnama9094 If all of this is so offensive and fake to you, why are you still here?

[@thedevilsworkshop7720]

If someone wants an open marriage give them one . Divorce them , it doesn't get anymore open than that . 😂

[@CreeperOnYourHouse]

Every night I cut off my hand and leave it in the spare bedroom, in the morning I stitch it back on.

[@mrbadguysan]

Story 1: As real as a football-bat or a grand slam touchdown.

[@CrystallynRose]

Story 2: It may be a great relationship overall, but it's pretty BS that he ignored her concerns when she brought them up civilly the next day. You shouldn't have to get angry and yell at your partner or give them a taste of their own medicine to get through to them. He was pretty disrespectful and, in addition to counseling regarding his grandmother's death, I believe a few sessions of couples might be in order to facilitate healthier communication and to learn how to respect your partner and compromise. Also going to his friends and family calling her petty was not cool. Expecting her to wake up so he could chat with her after work was pretty BS, too. I wouldn't chalk up all this behavior to grandma dying. If it were me I'd ask for at least a few sessions of couples to address all this. I wouldn't call these red flags, but his behavior during this situation was not ok for many reasons and OP shouldn't just brush it off as a one time thing.

[@someanon1984]

The wife in Story 1 is a fetishist... I would really caution Asian men to steer clear of women like this.

[@muhname6052]

Story1: let's open the marriage by having you watch me have sex with your friend. Markee: but what about communication? Like that's not opening a relationship.

[@KJ-sp9jq]

S2: That playlist was awesome! Kind of wish I knew what the rest of the songs were. Good on her for giving him a taste of his own medicine.

[@untiedshoelaces2588]

Story 1: OP should have begun to prepare an exit strategy for when his wife decided to cheat. Because all of her actions have showed him what she actually is and what her intentions were. When someone shows you who they are - believe them! OP needs to get full custody of his children in the divorce, because she will eventually have a mixed Asian baby and the other kids will immediately become neglected to this new golden child.

[@CGossRunnn]

I know lots of couples that sleep in separate rooms. Some people's sleeping habits just don't work with another person

[@chubbychan5950]

Story 1: You have to also look at it from the friends cultural background, he's Asian, he's not going to want to rock the boat or destroy a marriage just like that.

[@Malia504]

So for story 2 if she was petty she would blast music when she got ready and change the password to the Bluetooth speakers so his device wouldn’t connect!

[@carlrood4457]

He's playing loud music at 3am. In what world is that acceptable outside a night club?

[@tabytha7636]

Dude the audacity of this woman!!!! She seriously said WATCH!!! DUDE CAN'T EVEN PARTICIPATE SHE JUST DOESN'T WANT TO NE CONSIDERED CHEATING SO AS LONG AS HE'S IN THE ROOM SHE THINKS IT'S OKAY!!!

[@jaymevosburgh3660]

S2: He is the AH simply for telling your family & friends about your issue, especially since he is the entire cause. Start playing Cannibal Corpse while you get ready for work in the mornings, because it pumps you up. Or Ulver's 'Nattens Madrigal' album. That should fix this whole thing. *edit* Love the solution 😂😂😂

[@kaydwessie296]

LMAO this same thing happened to me. They're already cheating. Run.

[@Aziza_Nyxie_Jynx_Ashling]

For story 1, she said Asian babies are cuter and being mad theirs aren’t Asian, would be worrying for their mental health, and I wonder if op is kinda doing the same thing as the wife a little bit, cuz she fetishized the nearest Asian she knew, and now he is seeing his friend (and K-pop, and the Asian actor) different, like the men who lose wives and focus on the race of the man who his wife next gets with or cheats with, and blames that for everything

[@fangybyte]

Should the friend have said something? Yeah, probably. Honestly, he wouldn't be the one ruining the marriage. That's all on the wife. He was also assaulted. Too many people make light of assault on men.

[@amyyaku5022]

S1: Oh nah OP run. She not only has a weird fetish for Asian men but is literally trying to Sneako you 😂

[@adeanl0]

Same bed, separate sheets and blankets!♥️

[@lisathornton2187]

I definitely sleep with my hand in the other bed.

[@jacksongunner7122]

Story 1: well we all have preferences but this in your face disrespect has ended the marriage and he should bail ASAP.

[@HumanB312]

If story starts by saying wonderful and great or perfect the relationship is doomed

[@corsec1443]

Story 2: It's 2023- Ear buds

[@jameslyons6655]

Definitely open the relationship but open it like an airlock on a spaceship. Whooosh. Bye.

[@doityourselfdiva6001]

It's not the fact that the wife has the fetish, it's the fact that she isn't interested in OP anymore. Take it from a long-time married person. Once the interest is gone and one partner is looking to get their kicks anywhere else, the relationship is over. Plus she focused on his friend. So disrespectful. 2nd story. I would record how loud he is and play it back for him and his family. Please treat him to the loud wake up complete with off key singing.