My Husband Said "Can You Stop Screaming? You're Embarrassing Me!" In The Hospital r/Relationships

[@sumomo2236]

If my baby daddy said that to me during labor, his funeral would be the next event in our calendar

[@ergogrrl]

“Justifiable homicide, case dismissed.”

[@lisakaz35]

I woulda had the nurse throw his ass out.

[@SherriLyle80s]

😂😂😂

[@Midnight0Mistress]

I'm surprised the midwife didn't throw his ass out.

[@teragram38crows49]

I would have tied him down, put a period simulator on him at max setting, and then left him there for a few hours.

[@ComaLies225]

I heard a similar story but the woman in labor was being rolled in a wheelchair to the labor room. A male in-law told her to stop screaming and she in turn kicked him so hard in the groin he basically kneeled and recoiled from the pain. I’m not for violence but here for shutting people down when they act wildly incorrect

[@Redragingphoton1]

I hope she told him not to scream.

[@Zurround]

GOOD. What some people do not seem to understand and by the way, is it always only MEN who could never experience this kind of pain, who act like giving birth is "no big deal"??? I am a man MYSELF and I hate men like this. Every social rule in our society has rare EXCEPTIONS and these goddamn idiots do not seem to grasp that fact. For example, a man must never hit a lady but if a female serial killer attacks you with a machete and you manage to get away by beating her up THAT IS AN EXCEPTION. If I were to walk around in public screaming loudly that would be totally inappropriate but if a person is in extreme physical pain that is a special exception. Would a paramedic treating a car accident victim in great pain tell him that his screaming is "embarrassing?"" I hope that the @$$H0L3 inlaw you described screamed in pain from being kicked in the groin even louder than the woman who was "embarrassing" him and that another person nearby just to give him a taste of his own medicine angrily told him to stop screaming because his behavior was embarrassing.

[@ChrisAndCats]

There's no need to repeatedly loudly scream. (And yes, I have given birth naturally without an epidural). Some noise, ok. But super loud screaming that disturbs everyone else - no.

[@yurilookingforhisvictor7674]

@@ChrisAndCats everyone's birth and pain threshold is different. Your experience is not the same as someone else's.

[@YouTubeSupportSucks]

​@@ChrisAndCatsand there's no need for you to use the internet. Yet, I don't have entitlement that makes me think I can tell other people what they can and can't do, especially if it's about pain.

[@LilFeralGangrel]

Story 1: it's not just that couples counselling "encourages" the behaviour it's that the abusive party could learn new tricks and use the counsellng/therapy as a new source of abuse.

[@Batman-lg2zj]

That’s not going fly by .

[@Zurround]

Couples counseling is good when both people in the relationship really love each other but have difficulty communicating or each have psychological issues of their own that are interfering with the relationship and they both WANT to fix those problems but no amount of "counseling" can solve the problem of a person being a total godd@mn @$$H0L3 with no moral character.

[@Dimensionalalteration]

Exactly. You are made to sit there and be extra vulnerable whilst fearing gaslighting in stereo and new abuse tactics being implemented

[@katie6731]

​@@Batman-lg2zj Trigger warning: emotional abuse Unfortunately, some people are good enough at manipulation that they can even hoodwink a professional counselor. For them, therapy becomes a new place to abuse their partner, while learning about vulnerabilities and avenues of escape for the victim that the abuser may not have already identified on their own. It can really mess a person up when they've reached out for help, and that action is used to further traumatize them. If you're wondering, it was my former step father. The abuse was emotional. Unfortunately, this occurred long before emotional abuse was widely recognized. The stigma related to mental illness was pretty intense. He manipulated my mother into labeling me as the problem in "our family," and got her to force me to see a therapist. Then, he used the fact that I "needed" therapy to undercut anything I said. He'd imply--and sometimes flat-out say--I was "crazy." We got out at the first sign he was escalating to physical abuse. This history made it incredibly difficult to acknowledge that I needed help years later, when I actually did begin to suffer from depression and anxiety. 🥴

[@zachf748]

The craziest part is that *_his_* behavior is actually embarrassing. Between behaviors of (1) a woman screaming while giving birth, and (2) a man berating his partner for screaming during birth, 2 is *_infinitely_* worse and more embarrassing… Sickening someone could ever do that to their partner giving birth.

[@Letha-AnnCooper]

If your boyfriend is that embarrassed by childbirth. He isn’t going to be much of a partner or parent. Move on honey. This is only going to get worse

[@Orinatl]

Who the heck was judging that commenter woman for saying she would kill her abusive husband? Like wtf.

[@magnarcreed3801]

Right. He’d deserve it.

[@pippo17173]

Ya like if he is trying to kill her, it's fair game for her to fight back.

[@HackiePuffs]

Yeah like him doing everything she described WASNT horrifying??

[@enerioffutt1881]

Yeah, I was thinking, "Sweetie, if you'd kill him, I'm sure you'd have an excellent reason to." Like the woman who killed the hitman her husband sent after her.

[@Zurround]

I sure hope she did not do it too QUICKLY. I like the idea of it being slow and painful better.

[@emsmith.]

I feel like it speaks volumes that in most of these abuse stories the women don't have supportive mothers. Often they have directly unsupportive mothers or no family at all. That is so sad.

[@pippo17173]

Having a traditional parents seems to be the number 1 cause of these women who suffer in the hands of abuser.

[@larag3747]

​@@pippo17173 in most cases this girls marry young guys they dont really know just for get away fron their terrible families.

[@Emi_TheWinged]

@@pippo17173 Yeah usually it is. It seems like parents groom their daughters to accept behavior like this, because for men it's easier to have control over children and for woman it's just how the world works (in their mind), so if she (mother) suffered in her relationship her daughter should too/it's just normal and she should just accept it.

[@Rudthxxxx]

Had the boy friend done taken any classes or preparation in advance of the birth of their child, he would have known to expect all of those behaviors. They are totally normal, and he needs to get over himself! His girlfriend was in so much pain that she was vomiting, and HE should have been holding her hand and offering support. When a mom pushes effectively, she often ejects other substances. This man so showed his ignorance and lack of empathy. She should have kicked him out! How dare him sitting there insulting her when she is working that hard to deliver his baby!!! I hope she shuts him down in the future if he continues to verbalize such crap.

[@carolroberts4614]

My ex ramped up his nastiness after my lovely mum died. I was 19.

[@Davtwan]

I like how he’s whispering, because he knows it’s embarrassing to say and that she can gaslight her over it too. Classy. 🙄 The mom can also kick rocks. I’m surprised she even let OP stay. She better not show signs of resentment.

[@Zurround]

If I was the midwife and had heard that I would have punched him hard in the balls and ordered the security guard to drag the guy out.

[@jessjess23brooks89]

I'm shocked the nurses and doctors didn't intervene. After my delivery, someone said something only slightly rude and the head nurse kicked them out of the room after overhearing it 😂.

[@tinak2576]

I didn’t know this story had a final conclusion. That “he never held the door open for anyone” comment had me laughing. But when someone is that level of self involved, manipulative, and clingy it becomes symbolic of what a trash person they are.

[@pippo17173]

I feel op has some fault for not noticing it sooner with the obsession. I would instally dump any friend or partner if I notice one of their own acts like this. No time for that nonsense.

[@Ma5jay5dontxdoxthat]

​@@pippo17173I can't really blame op because, well, he did say it he was a frog is slowly heating water. He thought it could be fixed and there was some improves, but the issue became more complicated the longer it went on. Plus she wasn't doing anything maliciously, and was technically in an abusive relationship with paul from how it describes it. She couldn't see what was wrong nor did anyone of the other close friends. So op wasn't sure if this was as big of a problem as he felt it was.

[@vanzy01]

💯👍🏿

[@Center-For-I.E.D.Mismanagement]

Story 1: This is yet another cautionary tale of what happens in a toxic and abusive relationship.

[@JK-sh8rc]

Story 1: If it had been me, OP's horrible husband would be walking around with a broken nose. Surprised OP didn't demand that he leave...... but she's very young and probably used to being treated like this. Poor girl. Hope she runs far far away. EDIT: Really hope she has a good lawyer as she needs to protect the baby from that monster. I'd go for full custody and supervised (third party) visits only if he's able to even get visitation.

[@lifewithlee6298]

It’s best she gets full custody, the Husband would blame the baby for his marriage not being perfect

[@littlepeeper9223]

@@lifewithlee6298 Abusers cannot see they are doing anything wrong

[@Zurround]

@@lifewithlee6298 He might not even be her HUSBAND. He was described as the "boyfriend". I think its pretty effing pathetic to be in a relationship that is so low in commitment level that you are not even described as a FIANCEE much less a husband but just a "boyfriend". The only thing lower in the commitment level is getting knocked up in a one night stand and not even knowing who the father is. The woman in this story did NOT plan her life well and to be honest I do not respect her, but I have even more disrespect for the guy.

[@gigicat3943]

Did anyone actually read this? He was her boyfriend of one year. This is yet another cautionary tale of what happens when you get knocked up by someone you barely know!

[@pollyc.1957]

How is NO ONE POINTING OUT that he was calling her "vulgar names" because she was in a compromising position while GIVING BIRTH? If I was the mother of the woman, I would have clocked him, and if I was the woman, he would be staring at the waiting room wall, or the roads going home. He would NOT be meeting or holding his child that day. I would not want that kind of perverted, deviant, degrading mentality around my child. EDIT: "He got extremely angry and started screaming at both me and the baby." EXACTLY. He will project whatever sick perception he has of you onto your child, if he is unable to mold them into his own image instead.

[@Dina-lc4bt]

What position did he think that she was supposed to be in? Where did he think that the baby was going to come from???

[@ZombieSazza]

Listen ladies, if you’re ever in a similar position TELL THE MIDWIFE IMMEDIATELY, get him KICKED OUT, you do not need someone that toxic in your life. Her mother being toxic sadly doesn’t surprise me, she’s pushing an unhealthy relationship on you which led to you feeling unsafe, especially hearing his unhinged behaviour. OP also needs a solid support system, her mother sounds like a POS in her own ways, but at least she acknowledges the relationship of toxic. Just don’t understand how she “doesn’t agree” with single parents, like… has she been living under a rock for thousands of years?

[@riverjbleu]

This is so important. I wish she told the midwife and got him out of there immediately. That is the most intense and scary moment in a woman’s life and for anyone to behave that way toward her in that moment is so vile and evil.

[@chimchimindiandragon]

Unfortunately there are still parts of the world where being a single mother is worse than death.. There are many societies where pArents would actively encourage their daughters to stay in violent households just to save face in society... Before dowrey act was passed in India there was a pandemic of dowrey killings and the sad thing is not only the families would not be punished other families will willingly marry their daughters to the same family even after being aware of the situation.. Girls were encouraged to stay even if they were violently beaten in public... It was a sad state of affairs and has reduced immensely after very strict regulations but still domestic violence is ongoing in poor sectors of society

[@kyriacarica5862]

He’s not signing that birth certificate. I expect him and his stuff to be gone by the time baby and I get home.

[@ergogrrl]

Should’ve used his balls as a stress ball.

[@emsmith.]

Best comment here

[@whitneybennett4857]

OMG your comment killed me.

[@maryjanedodo]

Would save future women from the same experience also - two birds, two stones 🍒🤌

[@owl7072]

Story 1: I'm gonna hospitalize this man then tell him he's being embarrassing whenever he complains or asks for pain meds 🤨

[@MalkavianGhoul]

I'd like to see that gaslighting baby daddy try pushing a human out of his body all while doing a homebirth with nothing to help ease the huge amount of pain labor causes.

[@maryjanedodo]

I hope karma gives him chronic kidney stones...

[@LunaP1]

OP should've grabbed HIS hand instead of the midwife's, grip real tight and twist. Who will be screaming in pain then?😈

[@stephanieoppon-kuntu1080]

She was straight up baby trapped

[@mindyschocolate]

Eh, he’s going to be on the hook for his kid financially.

[@stephanieoppon-kuntu1080]

Yeah but he only got one part tho

[@AngryReptileKeeper]

Many years ago when I was with my ex-boyfriend, I got very sick to the point where I could barely get off the couch to take myself to the bathroom. I couldn't keep food or water down. During this time, he demanded I still get up at 6am and make him breakfast and prepare his lunch for work. I complied, because suffering through that felt easier than the torrent of verbal abuse I'd have to deal with if I didn't. After a few days with end in sight (and no water), I had him take me to the ER, which he threw a fit about. When I got there, I found out it had become life-threatening and was told, with him in the room, that if I hadn't come in when I did, I likely would have died. The whole time, my boyfriend was irritable towards me and kept voicing his resentment of the fact that he was "stuck" there while I was being treated, asked me how much longer I was planning to take (as if I had any say in the matter) and would insult the nurses and doctor after they left the room. After I had recovered, I told him how I felt about his behavior. He "apologized," claiming he genuinely believed I was faking it for attention and to get out of my responsibilities. Why he thought this, I have no idea. It's not something I would do, and I know damn well I looked every bit as sick as I was. I should have left him after that, but 20 year old me was profoundly naïve and inexperienced and thought 20 year old him would get better with age (spoiler: he did not). Consider this a cautionary tale. You can _never_ rely on someone like this when the chips are down.

[@o0BlackSand0o]

I threw up with my first delivery and my husband held the throw up bag. I also lost a lot of blood and my son shat on me on the way out. My husband helped me to the shower once I regained consciousness and washed the blood and poop off me whilst I sat in a chair unable to function. My second was a natural delivery and I screamed the ward down. He told me how strong I was and how amazing I was doing. Plus how beautiful I was. After he told me with both how proud he was of my strength and resilience, and that I was a goddess. If your partner doesn't support you like that, he isn't respecting how hard labour is

[@KaileyB616]

Story 1: I wish OP would've started loudly calling him out while he was acting like that! For example, when that absolute psychopath called her a whore or whatever because of the position she was laboring in, she should have yelled back, "DID YOU JUST CALL ME A WHORE WHILE I'M PUSHING OUT *YOUR* BABY?!" Or "I KNOW I DIDN'T JUST HEAR YOU WHISPER THAT I'M FUCKING EMBARRASSING YOU!!!" Something like that, because pieces of shit who behave like that (ESPECIALLY while their baby mama is giving birth to their baby!) desperately deserve to get called out in front of everyone. I know for a fact that if I was in that situation, I would've yelled something like, "WHAT? DID YOU JUST CALL ME A WHORE?? WHY DON'T YOU SAY IT LOUD ENOUGH FOR EVERYONE TO HEAR?!" 😂

[@LunaP1]

Precisely. Abusers and bullies don't like being exposed in front of a third party.

[@Zurround]

Are you sure that is a good idea? it could cause the nurse to order the security guards to throw the guy out of the hospital and what is more the security guards might get pissed off an "accidentally" hurt the guy while dragging him out. Are you really ok with that?

[@firelordoregano5632]

@@Zurroundwhat the hell are you talking about

[@HackiePuffs]

Yet another dude who underestimates menstrual or pregnancy pains. I’m including both because it seems to be the same reactions from these people. Who’s she embarrassing him in front of?? The nurses who’ve most likely dealt with SO MUCH worse??

[@tgbedini]

My brother claims, with a straight face, that women spend their entire lives avoiding the least bit of pain, so that when they deliver a baby, they think it's a big deal because they aren't used to any discomfort. Believe it or not, he's the married one.

[@averycheesypotato]

@@tgbedini Maybe not for long, with his attitude!

[@tgbedini]

@@averycheesypotato Over 30 years with wife #2. I don't get it.

[@averycheesypotato]

@@tgbedini Must have something over her. Stockholm, maybe? Ideally she’s as bad as him & they deserve each other, but I know that’s not often true

[@kentario1610]

​@@tgbedini this comment brings to my mind the story of the female college student who sat an exam while having appendicitis and her professor was like "wtf you should have told me, I would have given you another date!" and she just said "I've had worse period pain"

[@eldeano9964]

Story 2: she favoured attention and validation from an orbiter than op's feelings and hindsight. Even doubling down when he put his foot down, enforced his boundaries and called it off. She's definitely spinning the narrative to everyone, probably using words like 'controlling' and 'insecure'.

[@sarahclapp505]

I was sooo angry will the man in the first then soooo scared for OP so glad she is out with her son❤❤❤❤❤❤

[@patty-pat-pat]

if he wouldve seen his wife as a living, breathing, feeling human being, instead of a womb carrier, his reaction would be completely different. He wouldnt say this to his best friend who's been shot and screaming in pain.

[@lovinglifebutnotonearth3909]

What is with men who abuse their partners who are giving birth to THEIR CHILD?

[@LunaP1]

Because they can't find a much more easier way to abuse their wives/SO.

[@averycheesypotato]

Because they think they’ve got her locked down, now there’s a baby involved

[@DakshaiRanger]

​​​@@averycheesypotato🎯 So many toxic people think of children/marriage as the endgame instead of a new beginning, and if they achieve the end goal, their partner won't go anywhere.

[@jessicawolfe5861]

My ex was this bad during my first child’s birth. It caused huge trauma on top of the trauma of the birth (it was not good). Eventually it’s the reason I said I’m done.

[@tallyp.7643]

the crazy thing is pain and mental anguish go hand in hand. he was complaining that she was screaming too loud, embarrassing, etc. All that does is add stress, which makes the process painful, which leads to EVEN MORE SCREAMING. Then again, the guy is apparently such a woman-hater (according to the friend) that I wouldn't put it past him to know this and deliberately make her pain and helplessness worse.

[@jaymevosburgh3660]

Yeah. I helped my partner while she was in labor, I was her willing servant. And the nurses still asked her twice if she wanted me out ov the room! If I had said anything like this to my partner while she was in labor, either time, I would expect her to stab me in my sleep 😂 This husband is a loser. I feel so bad for Op now being tied to him with a child, she should have left him. She deserves a person that actually respects her! He knew it was wrong or he wouldn't have whispered it. And then he gaslights. What a standup kid, he was the embarrassment.

[@Goldenxbih]

I would’ve told the nurses to get him out the labour room is my husband ever tried doing that.. that’s so disrespectful.

[@shadowkissed2370]

He had already made her believe it was normal since he had been abusing her for a while. It probably didn't help that her mother was the type of person that preached to "deal with it" to keep a relationship.

[@witheredrose357]

"she doesn't believe in single parenting" what in the fresh hell does that even mean??

[@mert828]

My loser stoner baby daddy would never. Honestly, that's THE WORST. I screamed at him when he didn't start counting immediately after I started pushing and he was like, "Sorry." That was his worst offense during labor anyway.

[@witheredrose357]

a loser is better then an abuser, because even losers can have a heart

[@catandrobbyflores]

The sorry is at least a reasonable response.

[@heatheraucoin5832]

The woman that had an abusive boyfriend that went to jail, the fact that he chok3d her and said, “I’m not abusive” like then wtf do you call your hands around my neck

[@michaelwoods3651]

Story 2- she thinks he’s just, “ a friend “. He’s an orbiter that is overstepping boundaries. Op needs to stick to HIS boundaries! If she goes it’s done. She’s a big girl. Let her make her own choices and live with the consequences!

[@UpsideDown853]

I don’t know. OP sounded insecure and controlling. If the remarks were so bad, then he should have quoted some. Maybe the friend is Ace or Gay. Just weird from OP.

[@vanzy01]

💯👍🏿

[@candiebarr6745]

I've never needed it, but I'm glad af that my mom understands abuse enough to not have a couples counseling stipulation to helping me out of the situation

[@astronautviolet153]

Story 1 I hope op files for child support and leave the relationship and gets full custody.

[@creepypastapudding3531]

Buying something for yourself after being with someone so controlling can be liberating. I remember nearly crying because I could buy a box of cereal I wanted, just because I could without being screamed at or it being forced to throw it away.

[@judyjohnson9610]

I met a young lady once who told me her husband wouldn't let her buy frozen peas. FROZEN PEAS!! That's like just ordinary healthy food. And that's the first thing she bought after getting herself out.

[@creepypastapudding3531]

@@judyjohnson9610 Man, that would make me so sad, I love peas.

[@judyjohnson9610]

@@creepypastapudding3531 Me too! And it's not like they are expensive.

[@gracieshepardtothemax1743]

The next baby they have (if she doesn’t divorce him) should be delivered through his urethra. And then make him sit. Grin. And bear it!

[@Ann_Wall-Chiasson]

If my partner said anything along those lines, he would've been booted right out of the delivery room after the first comment.

[@Boe-Temeraire]

If my partner said I was being embarrassing while I was shitting out their kid I would fully break up with them. If they’re willing to be so awful to you when you’re that vulnerable they don’t deserve to be in a relationship. That poor woman deserves better and so does the baby because god knows he’ll probably do that to the kid too.

[@megnotmegan1966]

Wait…OP’s mom doesn’t believe in single parenting? WTF? Does she just not acknowledge that single parents exist, or just one of those people that believe a child is better with two parents no matter what toxicity exists?

[@champslim]

That was really weird

[@kateemma22]

'I don't believe in it' NOT how the word 'believe' works, mom.

[@barbthegreat586]

Yet another bizarre 'belief' - like, she has 6 children that she can't support and is pregnant again because she doesn't believe in contraception. Huh?

[@JadeAkelaONeal]

I think it's clear that's not how the mom feels since she encouraged her daughter to leave. Her mom was just a Dr. Phil fan she parroted his bullshit verbatim. She basically believes that if her daughter doesn't try to save the marriage before leaving that she'll always have questions and regrets and lack closure. It's nonsense but it isn't the same kind of toxicity as the "stay for your kids no matter what he does because you're a woman and he's your superior" kinda girls.

[@yamairad1]

I was raised catholic and my mom divorced my dad. When I asked her about the sin of leaving the marriage. She told me "God is love and would never want us to suffer unnecessarily". It changed me forever. I hope more people realize this.

[@littlegreycat]

8:13 it doesn't sound ridiculous that buying what you want is a huge freedom now and feels wonderful. I watched my father behave like this to my parents and my parents usually tried to control what I bought if they were present when I spent my money. It is freedom. It is autonomy that everyone deserves.

[@redresearchanalyst]

The comment on gaslighting & developing a lack of self confidence in your perception is spot on. Been there, done that. Don’t doubt yourself & take years to leave like I did, the damage to self & children will be worse, says I from hard experience. Ask yourself, if roles were reversed, would YOU treat someone like that? Would YOU feel right if you treated others that way? That is all the answer you need.

[@jakemarie828]

Already grabbing the pitchforks just from the title, but let's hear OP out.

[@TraceyBoyland]

Hahaha😂

[@alyzu4755]

Story 2: OMG, poor guy! He lost his cat, too? 😞. The only way out is through, and it seems like he's taking good care of himself. Paul is a manipulative AH.

[@stewartann816]

I read these stories of men/fathers acting and saying these things and I'm just so so thankful my husband would NEVER. When I was pregnant he pampered me with breakfast in bed and assorted snacks for my days off since I still worked until around my due date. And when I was in labor he was right by my side and I felt and still feel so safe and cared for. We're raising our son with love and we couldn't be happier

[@Zurround]

The nerve of that self absorbed woman, to dare EMBARRASS her husband while she was IN LABOR ABOUT TO GIVE BIRTH TO HIS CHILD. She seriously needs to learn some MANNERS.

[@winterr.m]

Op’s bf in story 1 is horrible. My bf was amazing when I was in labor. When I was crying because of the labor pains, he held my hand and even cleaned my nose for me. He even held the bag when I needed to throw up. I couldn’t imagine being told I’m embarrassing during labor

[@magnarcreed3801]

Don’t want kids but if I did there is no way ANYONE would be there. No dude, no nurses. Nada. Matter of fact no one would know where I’d be. No way would I want people around me while I’m that vulnerable.

[@platinum_noelle]

The gaslighting afterwards is even scarier. Idk how that gf could claim he never "gave her a sign" when he mentioned that he brought up several times how he was feeling and she dismissed him immediately every single time.

[@toxicradiant9858]

I read the thumbnail and came in doing that frustrated laugh. Id tell him "can you stop whining? Youre embarassing me!"

[@littlepeeper9223]

During a couples therapy, I'm sure the therapist would say she should RUN in a hurry

[@totesmegoatscrystal9688]

My hubby was stating how proud of me he was with how I handled my contractions and let me squeeze his hands, helped me work through my breathing, rubbed my back when I was crying in pain, fed me ice chips. He was amazing and then I needed a csection and he supported me and helped out with baby when she came. I could never allow a man like the first story, he is disgusting.

[@scepticalhyenas5750]

Guy in the first story seems like the type to react to a crying baby by yelling in the baby's face or, god forbid, shaking the baby.

[@tinycrimester]

story 2: oh nonononono that is so inappropriate. if he was just her friend he would care about the stability of her romantic relationship.

[@ravencrow1011]

what he gonna expect? singing while giving birth?

[@void9938]

And THIS is why you do not reproduce with someone you've never experienced a hardship and illness with.

[@AlexxeMJFAN]

The "boyfriend" on story 1 disgust me a lot.. I really wonder how he thinks about giving birth is for him, being in silence and not being in pain? Good riddeance! The mom and the ex's best friend are amazing ! OP should think about herself and her baby!

[@CrochetIsLife54]

The proper response to his complaints about his wife’s screams is: “when was the last time YOU had to sh*t a watermelon?!” He needs to stfu.

[@sequoyasierra5671]

Like women can control their bodies during labor and delivery. It hurts, crying out in pain or moaning in pain, grunting while pushing, all happen or can happen during labor. Grasping someone's hand for reassurance during labor is perfectly fine. OP needed to leave him.

[@TJSmith-fy9nj]

Guy from story 1 sounds too immature to have even had sex in the first place. He clearly doesn't know what a woman goes through to give birth, an event that is extremely not about him and his delicate sensibilities.

[@memyselfandi7782]

It’s the AUDACITY FOR ME

[@khughes9574]

BF: Stop screaming, you're being embarrassing Nurse: Oh she's not the one being embarrassing, Dude.

[@ScottieBibble]

Story 1, my ex tried that once. I hit him with the gas and air thing and 2 other midwives held me down and kicked him out. I had severe back to back Labour with continuous contractions and an epidural that wouldn’t work. He didn’t come to our daughters birth and we are no longer together!

[@jgw5491]

You are the boss!

[@ScottieBibble]

@@jgw5491 lol thank you

[@mogulmade]

Story 2: How can the gf claim she didn't know? She is as manipulative as Paul. To hell with her. There's no way she can't see how this affected her relationship.

[@mogulmade]

After update: Of course, she and Paul had a falling out. Do not take this woman back. She did not choose you, she does not value you and she will only do it again

[@pippo17173]

@mogulmade every time I read post of partners trying to take trips with friends who has feelings, I ask why these users don't break up on the spot. It's so obvious on what is gonna happen at this point.

[@BruinPhD2009]

Not just any trip, but all the way across the country? Yeah, Paul had nothing but the 'purest' of intentions towards the girlfriend. Yikes...

[@Scarlett.Granger]

That first story dude should have immediately ceased to be your boyfriend the second he said that shit the first time. Like immediately out of the room and bye forever. Thats just so disgusting, I can't.

[@sharonbrabston9209]

Tell him to shiat out a watermelon and not make a sound… he be a dead man when i recovered lol ive had 2 kids. Lol

[@whitneybennett4857]

This. Unless you're the one having to physically push a human life out of you, I don't think it's your call as to how much screaming occurs or what embarrassing things your body might do during the process.

[@slothisasin8240]

Some men don't think it's painful because "women are built for it"... It's honestly just sad how people can see someone in extreme pain and discredit it.

[@nicolathomson5774]

My told my children when they were primary school age that I was just the incubator and he was their God. I was with him 30 years and everything she said was very similar. Well done for being stronger than I was. Your life's going to get nothing but better from here on. Love yourself. Love your son. Good luck

[@daisymay6505]

I’m NEVER having babies, but if my partner did that, I’d have their head on a pike

[@nightdweller6446]

S1. Op really doesnt need 2 babies in her life

[@LilySaintSin]

Exactly!

[@RellaSemmone]

#2...she sacrificed her relationship for a guy like that? Smh.

[@maryjanedodo]

Some people love being fawned over by their friendzoned groupies...

[@RellaSemmone]

@@maryjanedodo you comment made me giggle. Lol

[@luvondarox]

Lol, menstrual stimulators for men should be a mandatory part of those pregnancy classes women are supposed to take. See how "embarrassing" the pain is once they have a crayon comprehension.

[@theresaschuebel5151]

I wish that the girl who was abused at the birth of her baby all the best. I wish she had a man who was like my husband. My husband was so caring and kind and so loving. So supportive and such an amazing dad

[@LilySaintSin]

Why are they calling that commenter a horrible for saying she wanted to kill her abuser???

[@1nsurr3ction]

Had it been me, I would've loudly asked, "what did you just say to me? I'M embarrassing YOU.??" And I would've waited to see what he makes of that.. he was pretending to be supportive to the medical staff whilst being an ahole to the wife.

[@skyelindsey687]

I’m sorry, but what idiots on Reddit read that that girl was being strangled and had the nerve to say that she was in the wrong for saying if her ex wasn’t arrested it would’ve ended with one of them killing the other. Wow, just wow

[@wmdkitty]

S2: Sorry, OP, you don't get a say in GF's travel plans. She's an adult.

[@yurilookingforhisvictor7674]

STORY 1: The best friend of the abuser that reached out to OP, why is he best friends with someone like that?

[@nishikaze]

I had a difficult labor and my water wouldn't break. After the first two times I went to the hospital and they released me I spent the night in agony waiting for my water to break. I was walking around the parking lot in the middle of the night with my boyfriend at the time and had a contraction. I crouched down into a ball to wait for it to subside when he said, "If you keep that up the cops are going to come." In a voice that sounded like I was possessed by a demon I answered, "Good, then they can take me to the fucking hospital." He shut the fuck up. To be fair to him, he was very supportive but it was a rough weekend for the both of us.

[@tartlynerdy]

Story 1 - Hell to the no on couple's counseling. LEAVE HIM. Nobody deserves a relationship like this. Op would have been better off giving birth alone vs giving birth with somebody constantly belittling her then gas lighting her perception of the verbal abuse. I hope op can raise her son to be better than his father. Most people would disagree but I hope op doesn't try to hide what his father did to her or he will try to manipulate her son to turn him against her. She doesn't have to get graphic with details but boys look up to their fathers.

[@nicoleedwards9122]

I havent heard this yet, at work. But this is RIDICULOUS 😂😢

[@Zurround]

The click bait described him as HUSBAND but the story describes him as BOYFRIEND. I am NOT religious and I am NOT a prude but starting a FAMILY is a BIG DEAL and it really says something about COMMITMENT (or LACK of it) that you are HAVING A CHILD with someone but he is NOT your husband you are NOT married and you are not even ENGAGED. He was NOT described as your FIANCEE either just your "boyfriend". If a person can make the "commitment' to be a parent then why the hell can't they commit fully to the relationship? And if your physiological response (screaming due to intense pain) to GIVING BIRTH "embarrasses" him than what the hell kind of a FATHER is he going to be? Is he going to keep complaining like a pansy ass wimp with no balls that he is "embarrassed" every time the baby burps or the diaper needs changing or breast feeding is necessary? This is a MAJOR red flag. I am 50 years old and this is the very fist time in my entire life that I have heard of a man so goddamn shallow that instead of showing CONCERN AND SYMPATHY and maybe even GRATITUDE (she is giving him a son or daughter) this goddamn @$$H0L3 is complaining to her that her being in labor "embarrasses" him.

[@thecoolgrandma7208]

Story 1: OP, why did you let him stay in the delivery room after the first comment?! Glad you left him. Glad you are seeking help for yourself too. Good luck.

[@ravenfox926]

S1: I'd have grabbed his balls. Hard. Then told him, 'Don't scream. It's embarrassing'.

[@LilySaintSin]

Same!

[@aleiah.]

I haven't give birth but dude .. c'mon!! Empathy we know this is painful, scary and dangerous!!!! It was so easy as keeo quiet. I bet he would be screaming too if it was him. What a catch he is s/

[@LilySaintSin]

He can try one of those contraction simulators and then OP can whine at him about how he's embarrassing her!

[@mkaverage1791]

Do not let your girl go on this trip with another dude. He makes inappropriate comments that she writes off. She spends a majority of her tjme with him. He booked the trip before asking, hoping that it would make it harder for her to refuse. They're the only two people going. And let me guess...one room, right? And when they arrive at the hotel there will be a "mix up" and the room with two beds will be unavailable, and "would you mind taking the room with the single queen sized bed?". Nope. Stay home and continue your relationship or go on the trip single. Period.

[@carriemooney6177]

I had back labor 38 hours of back labor, I am so glad the only people who are in the room with me was my mother and my sister because if anyone had told me to be quiet and that I was being embarrassing because I was in pain nope nope I'd have smacked him and had someone take him home to pack his stuff

[@Butterism]

And this is the man she decided to bare a child with. 🤦🏾‍♀️ Sweetie, leave him.

[@cpaul9269]

S1 - Why wasn't he prepared for what a birth was going to be like?! That just sounds like very strange behavior - I think we are missing alot of information here.......has there ever been any kind of similar behavior? Everyone is jumping on him here, but I am concerned about why he was so unprepared? EDIT after update - Nevermind - how the hell was OP ever dating this asshole, much less have a KID?! Why do people do that?! Jeeeezus.....

[@maryjanedodo]

They are both 20 & had been only dating for a year when the baby was born - so presumably the baby was just as much of a surprise as the father's terrible nature...

[@KaileyB616]

🙄 he wasn't "unprepared", he knew what he was doing was wrong - that's why he was whispering. He didn't want anyone else to hear him being a disgusting person. I promise you, he wasn't degrading/abusing her WHILE SHE WAS IN LABOR because he somehow didn't know ahead of time that childbirth is extremely painful for women 🙄

[@cpaul9269]

@@KaileyB616 yeah all the added context as teh updates progessed certainly bore that out in the end - I still just can't wrap my head around why he was embarrassed/surprised by what was going on - you would think during the 9 months of pregnancy, the doctors/their parents - someone - would have clearly explained what normally and naturally happens - his reaction seemed to me to indicate he was expecting something completely different from her, and I don't understand why. It's just so weird.....

[@cpaul9269]

@@maryjanedodo after she gave all that additional info in the update toward the end of the story, he had, indeed, been treating her like shit the whole time. She just didn't know any better from what it sounded like to me. THAT is truly sad, but I am glad something finally knocked the rocks loose for her - hopefully she can build herself up and lead a happy life....

[@LucyB34]

I don’t remember which Story, but that commenter who said that she considered couples counseling when her ex physically , verbally and emotionally abused her to the point of trying to kill her needed individual counseling for considering it.

[@Zurround]

The best "counseling" for him would be his cell mate in prison ordering him to bend over. Yes, I hate people like him THAT MUCH.

[@doloresreynolds8145]

Story 2: Your girlfriend is unwilling to commit to you by having her own room? You have told her how you feel. If she is unwilling to respect your feelings, she does not respect you, in which case you should not want a relationship with her. It is sad that her perspective is so selfish that she cannot empathize with you at all. Would she approve of you doing this if the situation was reversed? Deepest condolences on losing your pet. Such a heavy burden, without a shoulder to lean on. Please reach out to a real friend or two for some support, and consider another pet adoption in honor of your deceased companion.

[@jimmylewis1653]

Imagine telling your girlfriend who is giving birth, in pain, and is making you a dad EMBARASSING. Like, is this red flag new, or did you keep it with the rest of them?

[@ResfeberBear]

Been together a year and just given birth!? He has 100% tampered with her birth control, still in the honeymoon phase before a lot of critical thinking clicks in, what a ah :-(

[@persebra]

wow, cant believe someone would say that to a woman giving birth. it's beyond stupid.

[@valeriew4833]

queenmaker explains this behavior with science. monogamy is not natural for either sex.

[@coreymartin6486]

Seems like she had a kid with him 3 months into the relationship.....this is why people need to stop being lovers of pleasure and focus on what's really important.....like getting to know the person you choose to be with.

[@Motherhustler]

I have a good one at the end of my pregnancy I wasn’t feeling my daughter moving around my then bf didn’t want to take me and “waste his time” his mom said I wasn’t bleeding so I’m fine. I waited 2 days to take a shuttle with a friend to make sure everything was good. Nope her heart rate dropped with every contraction and they suggested I got induced if I didn’t they couldn’t promise my daughter would be born alive. I agreed called my then bf and he said he was against being induced and it wasn’t safe. I of course didn’t listen my parents drove 3 hours to be with me picked his sorry ass up on the way and he complained about his pain while I was pushing our child out taking my nurses attention away from me. Yeah it only lasted a year after the birth of our daughter.

[@doloresreynolds8145]

Story 1: please get a reliable form of birth control. Most people believe that you should be with someone at least a year before you decide to try a permanent long term relationship, because the person’s true personality will likely show itself in that length of time. Do not start another relationship until you have lived on your own, and learned more about normal interpersonal relationships. You jumped into serious territory way too soon with your baby’s daddy, by getting pregnant after only three months with him. A normal relationship is stressed by a pregnancy, but an abusive relationship can really go off the rails, as many have told you. He will not be any happier with you when he gets the judgement for child support. Good luck.

[@Zurround]

She probably should have gotten an abortion. I am a person who is very much NOT "pro life" and I think abortion is often a very very good idea.

[@rachaelclark8465]

Story 1) If it were me, I would have looked at the doctor or nurse and said "GET THIS AZZHOLE OUT ". I would be done with the whole relationship.

[@Zurround]

You cannot end the relationship completely. You still need to force him to pay 18 years of child support (or 18 years plus the rest of his senior year of highschool depending on state laws). If I was the security guard tasked with dragging him out I would "accidentally" injure him and maybe lie and say he struggled (even if he did not).

[@kool3884]

I would’ve crapped all over him and told him you try to push a bowling ball out of your cat with out screaming and not moving. I’m surprised it’s the nurses didn’t tell him to get out for his comments🤦🏽‍♀️

[@Vivi_LaRue]

I mean, my SO has female friends that he does things with all the time. He’s an adult and is allowed to be friends with whomever he wants. I don’t tell him who he can be friends with, he doesn’t tell me who I can be friends with. 🤷🏻‍♀️

[@paperkay]

Story 1: You're the one having babies with that guy, hon. Best of luck, though.