Watch the story of For Harriet over on Patreon! Patreon.com/ForHarriet
@PolitiKings5 жыл бұрын
Hi Harriet, I was one of the folks that commented on your "Beauty is a Bad Investment" video and I might have given the impression that I thought you were ugly or bitter, etc. I certainly DID NOT MEAN TO imply that you're ugly, bitter or any of that. I was simply stating the fact that beauty is an investment that can contribute to people's prosperity and so it is obviously not a bad investment. So, anyway, I just wanted to clarify that point, in case my comment contributed to the feelings you expressed in this video. To me, you are FABULOUS and your mind is something every intelligent articulate person should want to engage. Thank you for posting these videos!
@ReasonsWhy55 жыл бұрын
Most people are shallow & ignorant, & I don't think there a very many "ugly" BW. The problem is, most women "have no sense of style" everybody is trying to fit into a standard; first of all that's not ours, and it don't work for everybody. If BW would concentrate on being the most attractive THEM in dress, makeup, hair, & how they carry themselves, everything else becomes obsolete in regards to beauty Period!
@225gurl25 жыл бұрын
@@ReasonsWhy5 😊👏!!
@paige_judah55385 жыл бұрын
@@ReasonsWhy5 👏🏾 that was beautiful, that's exactly what I feel as long as I feel good, feel like I'm the shit "F" what the nxt think.
@ReasonsWhy55 жыл бұрын
@@paige_judah5538 That's it sister. As long as you develope your best you, that's all that matters, cause BW are the most beautiful. And we are not one size fits all!
@susiepoexoxo5 жыл бұрын
It makes me emotional how intelligent you are 😩
@zinab2blessa5 жыл бұрын
Right? Sometimes I have to pause, take a moment and just digest what she just said.
@TheAmbitiousDiaries5 жыл бұрын
Right!
@kimeygrant5 жыл бұрын
Me too. I don't think that Harvard University is to get the praise for her eloquence; this is her!
@Lulu0609865 жыл бұрын
Me too sis haha
@LS-sf1hf5 жыл бұрын
Me too! She’s so brilliant.
@kking47685 жыл бұрын
Sis....make 👏🏽the👏🏽 book👏🏽.
@cleopatramyers61345 жыл бұрын
Girl yes
@mobanks15735 жыл бұрын
@Britney Jackson I will read it twice and give it out as christmas gifts! lol this woman is brilliant!!!
@eralonuva5 жыл бұрын
Every sentence in this video would make an amazing chapter topic.
@pumpsandgloss5 жыл бұрын
Ready to pre-order.
@juliajordan50232 жыл бұрын
@KL , yes! Also ready to preorder!
@KishaWynter5 жыл бұрын
I disagree with just one thing. You say you’re not motivational but quote “You don’t have to be everyone’s type to live a great life” has got be one of the most motivational and empowering things I’ve ever heard. Absolutely brilliant, clear and articulate. I’m a raging fan 💕 💕
@HelloKittySiims4 жыл бұрын
Kisha Wynter I need that quote on a shirt
@sys6914 жыл бұрын
Mee too
@YD-di3pm3 жыл бұрын
Not only this quote but the whole video and youtube account is motivational. Maybe it isn't the right term, I think empowering would be better? The fact that For Harriet is representative of minorities and that she is amazing at creating intellectual discussion outside of academia is really encouraging for women in general.
@swatkasham55095 жыл бұрын
I am a 42 year old woman, and long before my 18th birthday I came to terms with the fact that I was one of those females who were not born with great beauty. I am not unattractive, I however do not turn heads when I walk into a room or down the street. The boys, and later men, did not notice me. I wasn't sought after. I realized that I was blessed with a strong analytic mind and plenty creativity. I was the girl that you fell in love with after investing in conversation with me. Yes, I wish I was one of those women who had doors opening for them because of their looks, but I have accepted that this is not my destiny and now I am comfortable and blessed in that.
@MeliMeli663 жыл бұрын
Same here. However, I noticed that my beautiful friends, black and white alike got hounded by guys wherever they went. Other girls just disliked them for no reason. They had a lot of people who who were envious or jealous of them. I am an introvert so all that attention would have caused me great anxiety. Of course, I wish I could be a "princess" but I also saw the reality of living with such outer beauty, Moreover, as we age, we all lose the attention that we usually get from a youth obsessed culture. So the fall will be even greater for women who have gotten used to being seen as exceptionally beautiful. I also won't experience such a huge drop in attention. It is unfair that women should be judged based on their beauty and youth, however, there are negative consequences for the average and the exceptionally beautiful as well.
@ParentalDiscretionIsAdvised3 жыл бұрын
God always give us in abundance to make up for what "lacks"! In your case, what He has given you is RICH because you acknowledged everything early on and you worked (and still) with all that you got!
@PrettyEyesz10 ай бұрын
I can somewhat relate to you but my issue of being not attractive was due to me being fat. Family, my mother, peers, and strangers always mistreated and ignored me because I was and am fat. So I refuse to give up on becoming thin so I can be and feel pretty. I want to be treated better, and actually paid attention to by men. I'm sorry but I'm not one of those girls that will ever just accept being not that attractive. Because living being the ugly fat girl has been horrible. I want to be the thin pretty girl, I want the male attention. I'm kind and I always will be no matter how people treat me. But because pretty privilege exist. I want to be pretty and do whatever it takes to become it. I like your comment by the way, you seem to have a beautiful spirit.
@swatkasham550910 ай бұрын
@@PrettyEyesz I appreciate your honesty and vulnerability! Let me tell you something - never, ever make yourself into anything because you want to get attention from men! Yes it sucks because it's nice to be admired. Just be yourself and the ones who have sense will be attracted to you. I'm married with 3 sons, yours will come to you. As for your weight, you CAN work on that! I suffered from deep depression and ate my feelings. I went from 110lbs to 203lbs! In December of 2021 I decided enough is enough. I started working out, eating better and mindfully. I've now lost 30lbs. I feel better, more confident. Do it, but do it for YOU!
@PrettyEyesz10 ай бұрын
@@swatkasham5509 thank you for your comment, I am doing it for me because I want to feel pretty to myself, but it will also be nice to finally be admired from the male gaze. Because every woman wants to feel attractive to men.
@shashavengesayi60555 жыл бұрын
I saw the title and I legit was ready to fight, like girl you are freakin gorgeous, elegant, intelligent, black AF and magnificent
@classassignment36435 жыл бұрын
I was ready to fight too.
@kijahne12105 жыл бұрын
LOL . So was I.
@dunnejos84235 жыл бұрын
Sasha do you think Kim is also a Ravenclaw? I'd hope so :)
@shashavengesayi60555 жыл бұрын
dunnejos definitely, but I have a feeling she’s not into Harry Potter
@allmysturff5 жыл бұрын
Yes me too!!!
@lacortneyfinch5 жыл бұрын
Women who don't feel like they have any capital in Beauty...i'll tell you this..trust me you have a target audience. Your currency lies in your existence. Physical Beauty can only get you so far. Invest in things that appreciate; knowledge, coins, and your own joy. Because trust me shit will start sagging, Botox/fillers will make you look like clown, booties will ultimately deflate, and that nigga gonna go blind lol
@pamelabrown30585 жыл бұрын
🤓 SMART CAN GET YOU WHERE PRETTY NEVER WILL
@Luna-kb3sr5 жыл бұрын
Amen
@LifeofMinna5 жыл бұрын
@@pamelabrown3058 both will get u the most
@SadeWatkins5 жыл бұрын
AND THAT NIGGA GONNA GO BLIND. PERIOOOODIT
@victoriawilliams25775 жыл бұрын
lacortney finch yessss 😂 😆 😝
@MrLakers925 жыл бұрын
“Not talking about you being the cutest person in your department” HILARIOUS 😂
@nowwhat14345 жыл бұрын
A drag and a read 😂
@TimoteoDeBaum5 жыл бұрын
Lmaooo 🤡 we got bigger fish to fry 💕
@bobsecret199 Жыл бұрын
In other words she has a problem with being called “UGLY” …but has NO problem calling these other women “UGLY” …she’s just too big of a little *COWARD* to say it DIRECTLY! But anyone who looks like HER shouldn’t dare to go there in regards to …ANYBODY!
@Mschuchii3335 жыл бұрын
Im surprised that people actually assume your work comes from a place of bitterness or insecurity. I always felt deeply that your work comes from self-assured confidence and deep thought. Keep up the good work!
@ImAkosua5 жыл бұрын
Toni Morrison said beauty is not virtuous because you didn't have to work for it.
@candletabletop1545 жыл бұрын
the real beauty is the one you DO have to work for
@rimbluebooks5 жыл бұрын
May God rest her soul
@justatexasgirl55835 жыл бұрын
That doesn’t sit well in my ears.
@breannajoseph20185 жыл бұрын
Texas Craftin’ Chick why not?
@ImAkosua5 жыл бұрын
@@breannajoseph2018 i think you should re watch this video
@tbriana055 жыл бұрын
I LOVE how she reads ppl in the most intellectually way! Yass girl 😂 #blackgirlmagic
@Phoebes895 жыл бұрын
YES!
@suchaclassylady5 жыл бұрын
That was a read! I think some of the people who respond negatively to you don’t understand what you’re discussing . It’s over their heads.
@TheTeresamori5 жыл бұрын
Sucha ClassyLady I agree because I’m super confused as to how it happened that a discussion turned into something personal to them? Like did we all watch the same videos?
@Tonia6825 жыл бұрын
I agree, this is why their comeback is so elementary.
@SterlingSMtr5 жыл бұрын
AGREED!
@senoracheapee18645 жыл бұрын
Lots of us have poor listening comprehension and critical thinking skills
@jaili35125 жыл бұрын
Sucha ClassyLady Absolutely over their heads (or worse for them, in their faces, cause I believe that the fervor of their attacks on Kim indicate just how triggered they actually are!).
@amoore37345 жыл бұрын
Social media has bred a slew of cowards..people who would never say the things that they type to anyone's face..so lame and bored with their lives.... I think you're awesome..keep it up!
@Wanjiro815 жыл бұрын
A Moore BINGO!
@LifeGuru165 жыл бұрын
I'm ugly and insecure 🙋. Somehow, I'm also confident.
@brithomp5 жыл бұрын
Hlengiwe Nkosi relatable lol
@ashleighcalloway8865 жыл бұрын
I'm ugly and I'm proud ~spongbob
@true45855 жыл бұрын
Saaaaame! I think my confidence tricks people into thinking I’m attractive lol
@LGnLA5 жыл бұрын
💯💯💯💯💯💯💜
@sosopeople91573 жыл бұрын
Me too sis.
@LeilaNoelliste5 жыл бұрын
The older I've gotten the clearer it has become to me that black women -- even the lighter skinned ones -- do NOT occupy the top tiers of the beauty system. Asian and Latina women have the highest rates of interracial marriage to white men (who I feel are major architects of the American beauty system). Being petite, having fair skin and straight long hair (with no or minimal use of chemicals) is still the standard. Black women as a whole I feel gain very little privilege from the existing beauty system, so it's funny to me that we fight and squabble so much amongst ourselves. Being the cutest black girl at your church or your summer camp is very very different than being able to create a career, political alliances or wealth off of your beauty. Very few black women -- even high profile ones -- are able to do that.
@lavenderteal84855 жыл бұрын
Yes!!!!
@ameliaaguero40964 жыл бұрын
@Hello, Jasmine. it's more about calling out the unfairness within the system. It's not saying black women are unworthy of having a high place in general society, it's saying society operates in a way in which it's very rare to see that. Need to recognize there's a problem so we're able to give black women the support they deserve
@cross75man754 жыл бұрын
@Hello, Jasmine. She's pointing out a truth, it may not be a truth that you like but it's a truth none the less. The point is try to gain some wisdom from it so you can live YOUR best life.
@6Sofia64 жыл бұрын
@@cross75man75 Truth in USA? I heard it's not common to have travelled abroad growing up. A beautiful woman is a beautiful woman regardless of "race".
@cross75man754 жыл бұрын
@@6Sofia6 Most places aren't as racist as the USA but it's the same in South America, Europe, Middle East, Asia, etc.. There is an hierarchy of beauty and it's based on race. People with power alway want to be perceive as beautiful no matter how ugly they are.
@sinontherocks5 жыл бұрын
“I’m happy that you have a very healthy self-esteem. Everyone should be so lucky” 😂😂😂😂
@Nikki-ci5ze5 жыл бұрын
Lolol I love her like legit love her!!!!
@Tonia6825 жыл бұрын
Such intelligent shade😂
@whoopsydaisy63895 жыл бұрын
She made such an impact on me with this statement that I missed the next couple minutes and had to rewind. lol
@elizabethj81305 жыл бұрын
😂 girl, that took me out!!!
@passion4family5 жыл бұрын
👏👏👏👏👏👏
@brindisi2brooklyn5 жыл бұрын
Your comment about own men calling us ugly but still dating an average black women clearly speaks to their insecurity. Unfortunately, many seek less than average women of other races to quell that insecurity. So sad that they feel the need to take it out on us in severL ways.
@tinnycrochets5 жыл бұрын
"im not talking about you" sent mee!!! i really think theres a subtle joy from putting yourself on that pedestal of beauty and for some reason i dont understand why people don't notice the very obviously difference between that and ACTUALLy being physically saught after in a societal lense
@nowwhat14345 жыл бұрын
Fact!
@kimc23575 жыл бұрын
She literally said: Uglies don't be calling people Ugly!😂
@tinnycrochets5 жыл бұрын
P R rt shes literally who i want to be when i grow up lmao
@alexisprince5965 жыл бұрын
Idk maybe it’s just me but I feel like there’s a difference between “being insecure” and “having insecurities”
@AM-jo4fm3 жыл бұрын
Most definitely!
@Mysteriuminiquitatis19983 жыл бұрын
There’s absolutely a difference
@karmakameleon71185 жыл бұрын
Haters just say that to deter you from speaking the truth, but speak the truth sis! 💅🏾
@ablix5 жыл бұрын
Exactly
@funkylilmouse5 жыл бұрын
Exactly, haters respond like that when they don't have any fact to justify their disagreement. Resorting to personal attacks is so petty and shows that they have nothing rational to say.
@quissa1015 жыл бұрын
I will never understand why people think that ad hominem attacks help them win an argument. I’ve always enjoyed your videos because you not only speak on topics that are important and oftentimes ignored, but you articulate your views excellently and give reasons and evidence to back up your positions. This makes it even more frustrating reading comments about how “black women are bitter” and “you’re only mad cause you’re ugly” and as you said, most of them have such a distorted view of their own beauty 😒 Btw, you’re gorgeous sis
@NoName-mm6gh5 жыл бұрын
Omg quissa.....its me, from reddit. We were chit chatting. It's ki!!!
@quissa1015 жыл бұрын
MyNamed Name omgggg lol! Girl I love spaces like these for us 😂
@NoName-mm6gh5 жыл бұрын
@@quissa101 I know right 😍you are missed🤗
@NoName-mm6gh5 жыл бұрын
@@quissa101 yaayy sis😎
@hootyjenkins1084 Жыл бұрын
@@quissa101 girls don't help men... Because they are Girls... Get a clue from that...
@LocsMermaidia5 жыл бұрын
Can you speak more on black men's lack of access to the luxuries of patriarchy and how it translates to how they speak of and treat black women. You did speak about it but it would be so good to hear an in depth talk.
@brithomp5 жыл бұрын
Locs Mermaidia could you elaborate more I’m interested in learning about your sentiments
@DearStephanieX5 жыл бұрын
Locs Mermaidia I have thought about this also- great point ...and worth exploring more
@LittleMsLibra85 жыл бұрын
Yes!!
@pepita34675 жыл бұрын
I think its maybe because of the manipulation of the lower classes into believing black women are such and such and white women are such and such etc and the narrative was fed to everyone to divide us so theres less power in the black community.
@najah8205 жыл бұрын
Agreed
@lilashleyb5 жыл бұрын
“Put some respect on my name to be honest.” Period. Okay! I felt that.
@quissa1015 жыл бұрын
*sees title* “Wow Kim really be out here reading my messages to my boyfriend “
@kyrathedestroyer_5 жыл бұрын
Mequissa Baptiste lol right 😂😂
@JCamilleable5 жыл бұрын
that is so funny lawwd
@Nihilist_Porcupine5 жыл бұрын
Nuuuuuu you're all lovely!
@hunadimakgatho34035 жыл бұрын
😂
@MsVIT4255 жыл бұрын
your hair is BANGING.
@Frederique413 жыл бұрын
I agree
@kikibrown95485 жыл бұрын
Your theory about these black men is spot on. I think many of them are angry about their social status and the limits it places on their ability to attract a certain type of woman. The problem is they are still sleeping with and procreating with the women they don’t want. That has had a terrible impact on the black community.
@MarianDrayton5 жыл бұрын
Ki Ki Brown ooooooh, a WERD sis! When Kim mentioned the “post your child’s mother,” even tho she wasn’t saying it in a vindictive way, I wanted to yell “THAT’S RIGHT! Now what that ass have to say!” 😂 But, that’ll make me just as bad as their thought. So ima work on continually keepin those thoughts in my head. And among my friends. 😁
@bobsecret199 Жыл бұрын
Men do NOT “procreate” genius! Only WOMEN do. These men are just USING a latrine for what it’s good for …and it is the WOMEN who are “procreating” with men who never even PRETENDED to want you or to start a family with your lonely asses!
@adappermonkey70745 жыл бұрын
"trying to reconcile what they desire, and what they prize with what they actually have access to" That hit me right in the deep deep down. I felt that.
@DEM40S5 жыл бұрын
You're on to something w your theory
@A_lilBitRatchet5 жыл бұрын
Kim, I’m only 6 minutes in to this video and truly believe that the women who put you down are likely projecting their own insecurities. Thank you for your authenticity.
@MommaLuvsManga5 жыл бұрын
"... I wasn't even talkin' 'bout you!" When I tell you I FELT THIS IN MY SOUL!
@MadeleineSwannSurreal5 жыл бұрын
I was so worried and confused when I saw the title! You're so right, we all spend too much time judging and breaking each other down
@eartianwerewolf5 жыл бұрын
I know -aesthetics should be fun and about sharing. Not forcing each other into certain boxes ( I grew up with two sisters and a mom so ....yeah familial pressure to conform no fun ).
@MadeleineSwannSurreal5 жыл бұрын
@@eartianwerewolf definitely
@neptunethecat18845 жыл бұрын
People who have nothing intelligent to say will always attack how you look always.
@jazmineleno14145 жыл бұрын
Right
@jklax4 жыл бұрын
@@jazmineleno1414 Well your looks could effect how you see the world and give you certain biases that you confirm along the way. Being considered "ugly" can, and being considered "beautiful" can as well, which we see in child exploitation. Who really thinks objectively these days or at all.
@bobsecret199 Жыл бұрын
IF she were even a tiny bit cute then her looks would NIT even be attackable!
@JustCallMeWah5 жыл бұрын
“The cutest one in your department” 😂😂 thank you for all that you do Kim 🖤👍🏿
@TheBlacKrystal5 жыл бұрын
Your hair is beautiful! ......lol okay, I'll finish the video now.
@SeanShimamoto5 жыл бұрын
Krystal Bailey It is, right?!? I have shitty, straight Asian hair...so when I see gorgeous hair like Kim’s, I just ❤️ it!
@brithomp5 жыл бұрын
Sean Masami Shimamoto your hair isn’t shitty it’s beautiful just like hers!! you don’t have to bring yourself down to lift her up!
@SeanShimamoto5 жыл бұрын
Brï Forrest Wow, it’s amazing how so many people on KZbin can take my words and just totally twist them. My hair and her hair aren’t dependent on one another...the fact that the beaches in Hawai’i are beautiful and the beaches in Oakland are ugly don’t have anything to do with each other. My hair is just ugly, so I shave my head...it’s not putting myself down, it’s just being real with myself...and it has NOTHING to do with Kim’s hair being beautiful. That was really SJW of you to try to put me down by creating a non-existent correlation.
@brithomp5 жыл бұрын
Sean Masami Shimamoto lmao I was trying to compliment you I do apologize if my message was misconstrued but alrighty
@shaunciequinones50775 жыл бұрын
@@brithomp wtf is his problem lmao
@cheryldenepauls16335 жыл бұрын
Always feel so much more enlightened after watching you videos? I always saw the quote “beauty is not the rent you owe the world ” and I never understood it until I watched your videos.
@urbanfxshion5 жыл бұрын
You are beautiful and so confident and it inspires us all❤️
@maggiemcfly52675 жыл бұрын
I second that!
@ShadaeMastersAstrology5 жыл бұрын
Venus Aderele I love your name 🥰
@brittanynicole43705 жыл бұрын
For real!!!!! I get this F what you think attitude when I listen to Kim lol. Truly inspiring
@com5835 жыл бұрын
Agree
@BeeLady-yy2ko5 жыл бұрын
Venus Aderele I ❤️ her☺️
@nowwhat14345 жыл бұрын
I love that you address black men’s cognitive dissonance. But I also think that’s why once men go to college or get money they stop dating black woman. They know there’s a gap between what they have and what they really want. They just stay in denial until they can change their circumstances.
@LGnLA5 жыл бұрын
Sounds like 'unnecessary' mental games...
@rimahasan89785 жыл бұрын
All the love from syria.. you rock
@MrLakers925 жыл бұрын
✊🏾✊🏾✊🏾✊🏾
@zinab2blessa5 жыл бұрын
آه في ناس غيري بيحكو عربي بيتابعوها🥰✊🏾✊🏾
@rimahasan89785 жыл бұрын
zinab2blessa ايه زينب.. تشرفت ب معرفتك
@mikasjewels57725 жыл бұрын
I'm convinced that most people just don't have the range.
@serrgggeo5 жыл бұрын
Kim you better not let any of those OTHER comments make you think that your words and wisdom is not valued.
@redrooster34205 жыл бұрын
@ImAkosua5 жыл бұрын
Hey! I'm a book editor and you should definitely get started on writing the books you have in your head. It's a great way to keep the legacy of Harriet, belle hooks, and of your work!
@bluecastlebunny91305 жыл бұрын
"You probably dont have access to the structural power you think you do, and that's a hard pill to swallow" Harriet,you girl are a social genius. And just as you said this applies to men too.
@999love205 жыл бұрын
When you mentioned the whole “date your audience” thing, it made me think about white women like the Kardashians and how they’ve lowkey been doing this for a while. They notice they aren’t the standard of beauty for the rich white man and the European standard of beauty. But, they are aware that black men adore them and see them as exotic and beautiful, therefore, they market themselves and their image more to black men. (Their bodies, lips, etc.) And when they do that, they manage to get the most successful black men they can find to date them, then procreate with, which is essentially what Kim did with Kanye, and now all his wealth is going into the Kardashian/Jenner Empire. Idk if this was comparable to the point you were making, but this was the first thing that came to my mind, that other races of women are very aware who their target audience are, and make themselves more marketable to the best version of that audience. Not saying to change yourself for men, but it seems to be something every other race of women seems to know about in some way, and black women rarely ever adopt that idea or acknowledge it in the same way.
@nstar13723 жыл бұрын
Who should black women gear to? As far as an audience!?
@TheThriftQueen5 жыл бұрын
Kim you’re beautiful and your thoughts are just as beautiful. Thank you for being a thinking woman. Very refreshing for today’s times.
@bobsecret199 Жыл бұрын
(Sigh) Leave it up to other WOMEN to contribute to the sheer DELUSION of other women!
@abstractalbatross62915 жыл бұрын
When you said "...fail to deliver an easily consumable beauty..." I laughed, because just think about it, if you can't observe someone's nuanced beauty, that doesn't make them ugly, that just makes the critic unable to understand, or they haven't matured enough. Like tryna give a child some caviar, or fine cheese.
@TheLeah23445 жыл бұрын
As a young black women, I’m still insecure and it causes issues sometimes in my relationship with my boyfriend. I grew up being bullied for my dark skin and being skinny because all black women were suppose to be curvy even though skinny was in back then in white and Asian communities. I still sometimes think I’m ugly because of my nose.
@cleopatramyers61345 жыл бұрын
You are a gift, perfectly imperfectly you.
@crystalm20575 жыл бұрын
"You do not have to be everybody’s type to live a great life. To exercise your options. To walk away at will. To preserve yourself." WHEW! A word, if I ever needed one.
@rubenvannijnatten5 жыл бұрын
You’re radiating intelligence and beauty.
@randomartist35995 жыл бұрын
To be really honest: you look pretty, just not the kind of pretty you see online. I have chosen to not consume aesthetically pleasing women online for a while now (I have no Instagram, I don't watch pornographic content and I prefer reading over watching movies). My confidence has escalated a lot and I can now see how "real" people look like. Not the ones with the filters or the plastic surgeries. Just people who you see everyday and you will meet for most of your life. Suddenly, your perspective changes along with your beauty standards. Your flaws are not flaws anymore, just reality and you start appreciating other things than aesthetics on you and on others Not shame on those who like plastic surgery or aesthetics BTW. Not promoting hippism or anything. I just think people should lay down their phones and look around at the real world a bit more often.
@graciem65625 жыл бұрын
Gosh, I really wish there were more people like you! I am the same in the sense that I prefer living in the real world than living in an online reality where everything has to be done up for "the gram". I'm not gonna lie, I like dressing up for the gram some times, but most times I just like existing...but most people, especially those my age, don't appreciate that as deeply as I do. I notice increasingly that when I'm in public, social settings or just with an intimate group of friends, everyone is always on their phones.. and it annoys me to my core. I just want everyone to, like you nicely put it, "lay down their phones and look around at the real world a bit more often." Sadly, I think society is just going to get worse.. *sigh*
@caburnha615 жыл бұрын
"The cutest one in your department" 😂😂😂😂 Drag them, sis!
@sidneysid53735 жыл бұрын
Once I understood how society perceives me and why, my confidence grew. Yes, I still have insecurities. But the opinions of others doesn't sting as much. When people talk badly about a box that I fit into, I brush it off. Basing your value as a person on society's standards is exhausting and pointless.
@Bronwyn-cf3um5 жыл бұрын
What an elegant read! 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽 And, your intelligence, grace and beauty are transcendent.
@fabrisseterbrugghe85675 жыл бұрын
I love the phrase "I am my own target audience."
@universe.trippin5 жыл бұрын
Truth. We can't change or improve our lots in this world without first being aware of our "place" in it.
@kyrathedestroyer_5 жыл бұрын
this look 😍 here for it lol. but, i remembered that when you spoke about colorism you mentioned how some say “oh that’s an ugly girl issue.” this just reminded of that.
@kiswahilikitukuzwe25475 жыл бұрын
Wow! I just discovered this channel and I have to admit, based on this particular vlog alone, you are the most inspirational and most articulate social commentator I have ever come across. Keep the good work sis!
@fatimahrahman61585 жыл бұрын
I'm 59 years old, been there and done that relating to women. I was one of the worshipped because of my looks. I avoided that trap! I now see the horrible way in which women are sold to the slavery of beauty culture, and the hierarchy created by those who want our souls and money! Keep up the great work! Your video gives me hope! 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾
@LGnLA5 жыл бұрын
💯👏👏💯👏👏💯👏👏💯
@yespls41845 жыл бұрын
I'm really glad that you speak so fearlessly and honestly about this subject; it's probably frustrating to constantly receive that type of backlash. This is the type of thing that needs to be discussed and sometimes it's so difficult to put into words, but you do it so well
@borgcube25985 жыл бұрын
I'm trying really hard to find a less corny way to say "you are the greatest person alive" and maybe less hyperbolic but same energy.
@redrooster34205 жыл бұрын
Honestly, this comment is really sweet. hope you have a wonderful day
@cookie221005 жыл бұрын
I can't believe someone actually said you were "Ugly", like what? Where?🤔🧐
@com5835 жыл бұрын
That is very true, our overall esteem as people is very low compared to other groups of people
@anoushadewan5 жыл бұрын
You were definitely in your element today. You stood your ground effortlessly. It was lovely to watch.
@crystalpowell66335 жыл бұрын
Girl!!! Your ability to articulate MY THOUGHTS about beauty hierarchy blows me away. You are awesome and beautiful- not that I needed to say it. (Drops the mic)
@SeanShimamoto5 жыл бұрын
Thank you for this video! I had ALWAYS HATED how I look. For the first 44 years of my life, I would avoid mirrors if at all possible. Only in the last 2 years have I come to realize I was wasting my time and paying attention to my small flaws, instead of all the things I should like about my body and my looks. I It’s even worse in the gay community. Other gay men can be BRUTAL to each other! I’ve had guys actually come up to me, pinch my side, and tell me, “you need to do more cardio” and “you gotta lay off the carbs”...and I’m talking about when I’m the size as my thumbnail photo! After a while, that can really destroy your self esteem. But I think the worst demographic is straight females. I don’t know why, but I see so many women tearing each other down. You can’t even believe how often I see a beautiful woman, show their photo to one of my girl friends...and the first things out of their mouths are how trashy they look, how ugly they are, she must be a hoe or a skank, etc. There’s a lot of hate out there and it’s really toxic. 😪 Conversely, I really admire women who are self confident and have no qualms about paying other women compliments. I think you’re a gorgeous woman, but the things that I find attractive in you are your INTELLIGENCE, your honesty, and your frankness...those are the things that I find attractive in men. PS - we need more Black people in Hawai’i!!! On top of African Americans being physically beautiful IMO...I love Black history, Black cuisine, Black culture, etc. I like to learn about other melanin-abundant races and their traditions and culture. 😍 Please keep putting out amazing content! I ❤️ your channel!!!
@chikaka20125 жыл бұрын
Sean Masami Shimamoto So true. Hawaii would be perfect if there were more black people there!
@SeanShimamoto5 жыл бұрын
Kathy B THANK YOU!!! Hawai’i’s Black population is only 1-2%, which, IMO, is waaay too small. And I did take a bunch of African American history classes at University...my fav before Black Women Writers. It was taught by a Black woman who was married to a Japanese man. Speaking of which, my best friend in elem school was Black/Japanese...as were some of my closest friends in high school, that I still keep in touch with. PS - and we people of colour don’t age. Hehe. People don’t believe me when I tell them I’m almost 50...and yes, I took my thumbnail photo this year. 😁
@LGnLA5 жыл бұрын
Hawaii is beautiful... but baby, when I visited the way that gas was over $5/gal and the milk or bread was $4.99... lol, I was like oooh weee Hawaii, love yall, but I gotta go back to the mainland YIKE$!! I will be back to 'visit' soon... 💯💯💯💯😆💜
@TheRealMTR4 жыл бұрын
Your level of articulation is on another level💯
@sharonqaranivalu51525 жыл бұрын
(70yr) Young lady, you are so cute and I love your makeup today...so soft. Love your views...so insightful. Sure your mother is very proud of you.
@Elliecatify5 жыл бұрын
Love this. Women who don't expend ridiculous amounts of physical and mental energy trying to improve or maintain their appearance are a huge threat to the status quo. And a huge threat to those who put so much value on 'beauty'. If they can't bring you down and silence you by insulting your outward appearance, then they have to engage with you on an intellectual level and that scares the hell out of them.
@justrenee26405 жыл бұрын
"I'm a human black woman" big Faxx...because that masculine "strong black woman who don't need no man" is tired, hurt, bored, &using "savagery" to cover her wounds
@ShogunOfHarlem4 жыл бұрын
"You do not have to be everybody's type to live a great life." That's probably the most profound piece of wisdom you'll ever hear. It's applicable to everyone.
@tokyoinooshi48365 жыл бұрын
When she said "the cutest person in your department" 😂😂😂 I died to the floor LMAO!!!!
@design4015 жыл бұрын
I always look at who's saying stuff....In my experience, it's always the people who don't believe they are attractive themselves... They have such high standards.. It's like why???
@nhiocazafargupta65603 жыл бұрын
Your parents should be PROUD OF YOU!!!!!! You are so SMART AND WELL CENTERED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
@MrLakers925 жыл бұрын
Ewww people are so gross. YOU ARE A LIGHT ✊🏾
@elizabethv.12765 жыл бұрын
you are so well spoken i feel like im in a college lecture and i love it
@theotherevilmonkey725 жыл бұрын
Kinda obsessed with the way you articulate your points and ideas, if you taught a class in it I would definitely attend for sure
@cremesiccle5 жыл бұрын
i've never seen a more academic way of calling someone ugly than the way you just phrased 9:50 - 10:05
@Indigenousinsight5 жыл бұрын
Elegant and academic! 😂 I think she was saying that the comment was made by a non “white” woman because European is the standard of beauty the system approves of. The person who made the comment may have been pretty, she probably had “Black” features.
@8ThatUp25 жыл бұрын
@@Indigenousinsight I don't think so because they're are a great deal of very unattractive white women. If it came from anyone but Kim I probably would have agreed you.
@liddogreen5 жыл бұрын
I don’t often post comments, but I watch every single one of your videos. This video encapsulates the excellence of your content. You flawlessly balance humor, empirical evidence, theory, and emotion (among other things) perfectly in this video and all of your other videos. The work you do and talent you possess is very evident in your content.
@redrooster34205 жыл бұрын
Completely agree!
@archerrising99475 жыл бұрын
You are so graceful with the read
@whitneyhedrick5 жыл бұрын
I too thoroughly enjoy dissecting beauty culture...and I’m a damn beauty channel! I am fascinated, annoyed, and terrified of it all at the same time. I shared your beauty video loud and proud. I’ve never seen that topic articulated so well and I applaud you for ALL of your content. Mad MAD respect xo
@madisonj51365 жыл бұрын
whitney hedrick just checking out your channel. It’s amazing, I was planning to make channel like yours because I never see beauty gurus talking about certain topics when it comes to beauty. You got a new subscriber. I see great things happening in your future 💕
@whitneyhedrick5 жыл бұрын
Wow! Thank you so so much!!!!!
@Ms.MD74 жыл бұрын
Yay, it's nice to see you on here, I watch your channel too
@MeghanStark5 жыл бұрын
Man, you rule! Long time watcher, not sure if I've ever commented. Your criticisms and talking points are so precise and well thought out, and the truth bombs are unreal. Thanks for doing what you do, and for thriving while you do it!
@ericnava50195 жыл бұрын
I was feeling so low today. Only half way through and your video has already helped me. Thank you for what you do and being you. 🙏
@trae_the_Arrogant895 жыл бұрын
I love hearing your voice and work. And your vocabulary is perfect. Great work
@Bindi_Marc5 жыл бұрын
12:43 I felt that in my spirit.
@urbanfxshion5 жыл бұрын
HATERS GON HATE🤥
@soaribb324 жыл бұрын
Well, I do have insecurities. It's hard for me to express myself and feel comfortable.
@joneschelsea1185 жыл бұрын
Sis don’t be bothered by those trolls!!! Most of us support you and your content! 91k and growing understand you 💜 I don’t always agree with everything but I definitely get a different perspective and an education while watching your videos. Thank you for your content
@MasloRaskolnikov15 жыл бұрын
You do great work. Always transparent and articulate in your expression. I think the people levelling insults are those whose nerves have been struck by something you’ve said. But you empower me, for sure, and I appreciate you. Keep doing what you’re doing, girl. You’re awesome. ✨
@Curlycourt865 жыл бұрын
😂 Sis, I’m not even talking about you. 😂😂😂😂😂
@shinadevon44645 жыл бұрын
I think people don't like to hear that the system is flawed because, right or wrong, they've built their self-worth upon the tiny little place they've carved out for themselves and if you take that away they are afraid they will have nothing. It's much safer to shoot the messenger and write her off as someone who is just personally upset or insecure. It could not have been more clear to me from your video that you were taking a meta view of the real issues while at the same time happy with yourself and having no problem finding men.
@WinningSidekick3 жыл бұрын
This is unrelated to everything at hand but your laugh is so delightful, I love to hear it
@ChrisBrooks345 жыл бұрын
Basically Kim is saying despite what I discuss, I'm still out here living my best life.
@yveqeshy5 жыл бұрын
Kim you're so awesome, the way you vocalize your thoughts is aspirational
@yveqeshy5 жыл бұрын
When you talk about theory being how we work through these things and how it helps us make sense what's happening around us, I felt that. Theory is important for awareness, it helps you break things down allowing you to free yourself from the pit hole that is self pity
@marzdabull5 жыл бұрын
You are so absolutely beautiful and inspiring to me. Don’t stop doing what you’re doing, lil sis ♥️
@yirapatricia5 жыл бұрын
"A hall a lot of men have little access to patriarchal power and they decided to lash out at women and try to degrade women to made themselves feel better" Do you publish books? This is gold (Hope I understood every word, English is not my first language)
@pharmunique5 жыл бұрын
I cannot even articulate how much I love your content. Your content feeds my soul.
@AmKDWIFE5 жыл бұрын
Girl!!! You are breaking those ladies down! Listen to her ladles, this is facts! I'm 38.. seen a lot.. And you are RIGHT when it comes to these black men.. honey!!!
@MsJack-id3ms5 жыл бұрын
I always find myself clicking the 'like' button a few seconds into your videos. Plus you're so refreshing.
@stormyzee52723 жыл бұрын
Ughhh😩 YOU ARE such a f&$king QUEEN!!!!!! 👑
@sakiajohnson645 жыл бұрын
Those who reduced your peice on beauty standards down to " your bitter because your ugly " are not ready for this level of conversation. Log off and jump onto Instagram, maybe that's more thier speed.😔✌🖐
@blairbirdie12955 жыл бұрын
You hit the nail on the head in this video and the previous one about beauty. I cannot believe anyone misinterpreted what you said. I think this is a natural part of growing older as a woman. I'm 30, but in contemplating my future I realized that whether or not you started out beautiful, at some point you will have to find your self worth somewhere else. In your role in your community, accomplishments, intellect, etc. I've always looked in the mirror and worried/wondered how other people perceive me. It was honestly liberating to start caring a tiny bit less (don't get me wrong, I do still care). Btw, Kim, you are beautiful, but more importantly, you are so much more than that.
@candacesumpter67865 жыл бұрын
Sis, you're beautiful. And what's more, you're so intelligent. I've noticed when the insecure can't match wit with a person, they reach for appearance instead. You touched on so many valid points in this post.