Beauty is a bad investment.

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[@ForHarriet619]

All the bonus content is over on patreon!! Patreon.com/ForHarriet

[@benisturning30]

Giselle Bunchen was cheated on?

[@babyverse9824]

The wall catches Woman faster then men. I don’t blame him Nicole is fine.

[@shashavengesayi6055]

Lion Man 🤦🏾‍♂️

[@judoxx8877]

For Harriet talk di tings dem!!!

[@auntieruckus6444]

In order for us to get to a place where we operate outside of the societal beauty constructs we must first love ourselves and accept other people to love themselves in whatever manner they choose and respect peoples choices so long as it doesn’t hurt others we as a society need to be more tolerant to peoples truth this way the standard changes from what we say it is to the truth if we accept everything then nothing is unacceptable *so long as your not hurting anyone

[@darrylynquick478]

This is why getting older for women is so emotional. Too much of our percieved worth is in being young and beautiful, which is only a small percentage of our life time.

[@privatelifejust_4me]

Darrylyn quick Yeah but at the same time I look back at the young ones and they look like babies trying to be grown. You’re so right. It’s such a small portion of our lives. Yet I believe aging is a blessing in itself. Especially when it’s done gracefully.

[@privatelifejust_4me]

Brittany S 👌🏽absolutely!

[@Zimuahaha]

Yes. I'm scared.

[@2120musiclover]

FACTS

[@2120musiclover]

GlamGirlTiff hell, their whole lives

[@juliafox9582]

How are women expected to “use our beauty” to get ahead in life but somehow abstain from vanity??? They want us to obsess over our looks but obsessing over our looks makes us shallow. 🤔Damned if we do, damned if we don’t.

[@mermaidtingzzz]

Right. Just further evidence of how stupid and incorrect society truly is.

[@wlwcats5810]

they want us to sit pretty and just take whatever they give us in the "she doesn't know she's beautiful and is effortlessly so even tho in the background she spends money and time and her mental and physical health on staying true to the beauty ideal" and the moment we take control of our image and embrace using our looks we're vain and trash lmao

[@nikki1926]

I think part of it has to do with power and control. If I take beauty into my own hands, that poses a challenge because 1. It’s no longer as exclusive and 2. It’s something I’m taking control of. When a woman is “effortlessly” beautiful and other people tell her that she’s beautiful, that compliment is something being given. However, when I make myself beautiful, I do not feel beautiful because a man told me I am. I feel beautiful because I just killed this mf beat. Not to mention, when women take beauty into their own hands, a lot of time they go by their own personal definition of beauty. They’ll draw on eyebrows men don’t like. They’ll do “unnatural” and “fake” looks that flex talent and creativity, while making women look less conventionally attractive. How many times have you seen men whine online about beauty trends? They nag about women having their own insular standards of beauty that don’t cater to them, and this makes them feel robbed, because they have lost control. Idk how much sense this makes tho I’m a lil wine drunk.

[@cassandra4222]

Precisely that, and I think women are constantly characterised as vain by men because they expect us to see ourselves the way that they do, as mere objects of beauty

[@nadjak3410]

@@wlwcats5810 The beautiful woman being unaware of her own beauty is the most overused trope of female protagonist in literature written by men...

[@LovingSoul61]

"Beauty is a form of capital. It's a commodity." !!!!!!! THIS!!!!!! I try to tell people this and they don't want to HEAR IT!!!!!! WHEW!

[@aaronsanders6162]

LovingSoul61 exactly you hit it on the head

[@pooja350]

People would rather live on a lie than the truth

[@realSimoneCherie]

Is that like pretty privilege?

[@dreamHIGH94]

Simone Chèrie I’d say yes

[@gracegiles5462]

This is absolutely true. However, beauty should not be your only investment, just like the stock market, you have to diversify, so when the stock gets devalued, and you have your other investments like education working for so you you don’t go crazy. Just saying.

[@SaikaBince]

ohhhh girl I am snappinggggggggg "develop lives outside of the male gaze..." girlllllllll THANK YOU

[@TheLeloM]

Red wine girl... It only gets better with time

[@SaikaBince]

maya lelo yassssssssss lmaooo

[@keishrich]

Yes...👏🏿👏🏾👏🏽👏🏼👏🏻

[@hannahi9355]

This. Not to sound misandrous but it really shocks me sometimes at how much men think we actually need them. Of course we all need each other, but I am very happy in my femininity and independence. Like fr.

[@ambermierez3602]

Go follow immoral support it’s two black woman that started a celebrity gossip site! Topics on carbon nation and soon to come debate topics like, is there a black community? Understanding the willi lynch system? Who are the Jews? Etc... please support

[@zan752000]

The General public always holds it against a woman for ageing and not remaining in shape.

[@AJ-cq5pw]

It's always our fault

[@leilanidru7506]

Always Succeeding honestly other women co sign that bullshit too. To me it’s like telling someone who was bullied, if you weren’t so (insert alleged flaw here) I wouldn’t have bullied you. Do people know that cheating is an immoral thing to do either way? If her fucking weight was a problem get a divorce. Ignoring the fact that many stunning successful rich high profile women get repeatedly cheated on in their relationships. It’s still no fucking excuse. So because she’s fat she deserved to have her husband cheating on her? So it’s no longer sickness and in health but getting fat is where we’re drawing the line? Nobody saying ur looks stop to matter when u get married but to make it the sole focus/foundation of anything AND use that as an excuse to justify disgusting behavior is just mind boggling to me.

[@wlwcats5810]

@@leilanidru7506 it makes my blood boil the way people absolve those cheating men of responsibility, I guess they think they're never gonna be that woman that got cheated on because they try their hardest to confirm to the beauty ideals unlike those cheated-on women while completely forgetting that cheating has nothing to do with who you are and everything to do with the cheater. it's so compasionless 😔

[@jessicavictoriacarrillo7254]

This world hates beautiful women. Period.

[@brooklyndecember]

Well he had two babies on her while she was still skinny. She's has lupus and had two complicated pregnancies. He's a pig!

[@thecateyedoracle5087]

*Men are a bad investment

[@curiousboy88]

And I oop!

[@caesaraaugusta]

Truth

[@gianniclaud]

Preach.

[@diva23luv]

They really are

[@Veronicababe]

Right its men not beauty

[@Chelbell404]

Beauty does NOT fade it simply changes. I am 45 and would not change it for anything. The older I get the wiser I become. Love yourself.

[@TopHat_VR828]

Yes

[@lynylyn316]

Yup!

[@BlackGirlLovesAnime6]

You really 45 you look like you're in your 20s? Do you have kids? Lol

[@BlackGirlLovesAnime6]

@@Chelbell404 that's good that you have good habits because alot of people dont take care of themselves. I've been tryin to take better care of myself at 24 so when I get your age my body will thank me. You seem happy and loving life lol that's a goal for me

[@Marina-xd7gp]

Well your beauty certainly didn't fade. Man I hope I look like that at 30.

[@ncokeke1958]

Women need to stop making major life decisions based on their age. Marriage and children are no joke. If you are not ready for either one by 30, then don't do it until you are ready.

[@AmKDWIFE]

Very important comment!!

[@tbryant3685]

In the bible people didnt start having kids til they were like 65 and if we were meant to live forever that's still hella young. 20s and 30s even more so. If Adam and Eve had never sinned and we still lived long, I prolly wouldn't even think about thinking about wanting kids til I was like... ahunnit?

[@luvmeany]

Biological clock

[@savannahbrooke3794]

Biological clock is a real thing!

[@NoName-mm6gh]

@@tbryant3685 a hunnit😏

[@TechnicJunglist]

When society expects women to stay 18 forever it's a sad state of affairs

[@iguessitsokyungrichbaby2813]

Asia Henry no one talks about this. Men have whole channels focused on encouraging men to date under 25 these men are well past their 30’s

[@wlwcats5810]

looks and maturity wise too lol they want a power dynamic and they know women their age will see through the bullshit and not see them as strong and mature like an 18 year old would, that's why there are so many men in their 20s and 30s and 40s finding women the most attractive at like 23 years old max(that OkCupid chart still creeps me out lmao)

[@TechnicJunglist]

@Asia Henry I 100% agree

[@a.d.w8385]

@Asia Henry Unfortunately. So true. I truly believe if the law allowed men to marry, date and have sex with girls starting at age 12, so many would. Its disgusting to think of how many would.

[@bimbolecter9764]

@@wlwcats5810 for real I can't fathom the idea of dating someone two years younger than me and I'm turning 20. What do these men think they'll find in a relationship with someone who is not even in the same stage in life as them...

[@elethibault9547]

Also, we need to acknowledge how the beauty standards are becoming more & more pedophilic. It's scary.

[@Hoodeeman]

I actually feel like it's becoming less. Thanks too Instagram pushing the hourglass figure. But if you look into fashion you will see that the ideal body is that of a 14 year old girl. Its been like that for ages sadly

[@cv8499]

I was watching a re-run of M*A*S*H yesterday and BJ is telling the guys a story about his wife and kids and their teenage babysitter. Hawkeye asks, "Eighteen?" BJ says, "Sixteen." And Hawkeye salivates and goes, "Oooh..." Stuff like that is so problematic. Idealizing and sexualizing youth to the point of pedophilia.

[@jacquelineatim4097]

Rachèle Thibault very scary

[@privatelifejust_4me]

Rachèle Thibault Thank you for pointing it out! It’s sad and very true.

[@Twinklestar932]

He got married under GOD. He has to answer to GOD. Humans are not to judge . People are living in glass houses in 2019. Not a good idea. Least ye b judged

[@emulan5887]

I really dont understand why people believe having kids means that they will be there for you when your old. As a nurse I can tell you that old people are dying in their hospital beds alone and barely get any visitors. Your children and grandchildren are going to have their own lives which is busy and stressful, they will move away and start their own families and you want be a priority to them. Just because you have kids doesn't mean you will be included in their lives or invited to family events, how often do you see old people at parties, graduations, holidays or other family events?

[@Katie-tk3me]

E Mulan amen!

[@dianavivaldi4503]

Some women are desilusional, they think that because they are married or have kids is the key to happiness, I've seen so many hypocrite men, cheating on their wives around and chatting with other women talking shit about their wives, and lots of kids will leave anyway.

[@franslam7398]

E Mulan - This is true. A friend of mine used to volunteer at a retirement home and volunteers were needed to help alleviate loneliness in the elderly and give them someone to talk to. They liked to talk a lot about their memories. When you get talking to them you realise they all have grown children yet barely see them because their kids are 'busy' and those elderly folk are lucky to see them twice a year at Easter or Christmas. Some even end up living abroad. When their grown children do arrive it's _"Sorry, I can't stay long..."_ . Just the fact that those elder folk are placed in old people's homes in the first place tells you that your kids cannot make you a priority as they themselves get older and will put you in the care of others while they get on with their lives.

[@bluevelvet2976]

E Mulan , I am a retired Nurse ,your comment is worth Millions . I have learned to expect nothing from the ones that are suppose to be in my corner. this life is a real learning experience. it is mind blowing to say the least. I don't want to get old ,old in this system. I use to bring gifts to the old ones in hospitals and Nursing facilities because their families never showed up, on Holidays. all I have to say is … they will get theirs ,in time .all in due time.

[@biblethumper8088]

That's true. Marriage made me relocate from my mother, and since she hated him, she got stuck with my sister who just made her raise her 3 grandchildren. Your better off not having children and taking care of your health. Even an adopted child will be more loyal to you then your own children.

[@AlwaysAmTired]

I've NEVER had conventional physical beauty. I resented it for the longest, but as I age, I realize more and more what a blessing it's been. Yes, men treat me worse in general, and that's been very hurtful. But being forced to fit into a misogynistic box was never even an option. I was freed of that pressure. I still found an amazing partner, good career, and live a great life. You don't need beauty to get all the things you want in life. Just wished I had realized all that sooner instead of wallowing in resentment and jealousy for years.

[@AlwaysAmTired]

@Leah X I think my dating options were limited for sure, but it's a numbers game. The majority of men don't find me attractive, most who do aren't sh!t, but that still leaves plenty of people who are into me and possess the traits I want. I think if a person wants status, looks, and money, then they probably need the same in kind. If they want support and companionship, they also need the same in kind. So I guess it depends on what's high caliber to them as to what traits they need to get that in a mate. That's how I see it anyway. I loved this video!

[@MiniM69]

I love you and I don’t even know you! Such a great perspective.

[@thatlittlezombie]

@Sunflower Sutra ... is that you in your profile?

[@thatlittlezombie]

@Sunflower Sutra ... I'm just asking because if it is you, you're beautiful.

[@valzp9620]

@@thatlittlezombie I thought the same. Very pretty

[@UniquelyVickie]

The record shows Fuqua began cheating as early as 2 years into the marriage so her weight isn't the issue. Cheating is a character flaw.

[@Artliker1234]

Uniquely Vickie why did this woman stay JESUS

[@babyverse9824]

He likes skinny women

[@aesinam]

@@babyverse9824 and yet he still cheated when she was skinny so your logic is flawed

[@babyverse9824]

Esinam Adzo naw she was fat

[@RodRod82]

And obviously they must have an understanding she enjoys the lifestyle he provides.

[@taliamagdy1590]

People get disgusted by natural things,but can’t get disgusted by cheating.I can’t deal with these people.👋🏼👋🏼👋🏼

[@Pearlygirl0]

Talia Magdy yes!

[@autumnhomer9786]

Talia Magdy Exactly spreading all of those STD’s. 😷

[@taliamagdy1590]

Autumn clarke And then moaning about women not lookin good enough for the men! what a disgrace!

[@babyverse9824]

Fat women beware lmao Nicole and fit women like her are lurking 😬

[@miagalloway4964]

@@taliamagdy1590 ☠️👻👽

[@MissTylerSimone]

"Go back in time and find your hairline" A WORD. Preeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaacccccccchhhhhh

[@DiamondNet2009]

Loved this!!!

[@NicNakToe]

I suffered from a severe eating disorder for about a decade. A year into my marriage, my husband gave me an ultimatum: go to treatment, or get divorced. I went to treatment. A year after I started treatment he sat me down to tell me that, because of the weight I had gained, he was no longer attracted to me. He divorced me anyway 🤷🏼‍♀️

[@Ms.MD7]

Wow, what a prick. Hope you're doing well these days.

[@danisonfire4677]

But giiirl now you are healthy I hope! and you have all the opportunities in life no matter what you want to do, so feel free to do whatever you want, now you don't have eating disorder!

[@breyuna]

he is a loser and you dodged a bullet

[@louise-yo7kz]

@ Nicole Baislet, Shit😪

[@realSimoneCherie]

I hope this falls behind you so far you can barely remember his name! You deserve the best there is to offer ☝🏽

[@mrh2821]

Thank you about the point that cheaters are going to cheat regardless! If Lela hadn't gained weight, people would have accused her of being frigid or having a "difficult" personality.

[@IshtarNike]

That attitude is very strange. It's never occurred to me that someone *ageing normally* would be the "cause" of their partners infidelity. Now I don't necessarily subscribe to the idea that there are cheaters and non-cheaters, life is too complex for that, but even so, people cheat because they choose to, it's on them.

[@wlwcats5810]

and it's such an exhausting idea that it's your responsibility to make sure you don't get cheated on, you can mold yourself into a cheater's biggest fantasy and they'll still cheat on you because they don't respect you or themselves enough not to be a trash human being. and when women cheat they're just called sluts and whores and it's not a man's responsibility or how he looks so the double standard is really showing there

[@akatsukichik112]

I've always said if Beyonce can get cheated on, it ain't safe out here in these streets! Looks have nothing to do with it🤷‍♀️

[@crissoa]

Lala Ghana-Love that’s sad to hear. This mentality that some people have of never holding men accountable does not benefit women at all.

[@mjohnson1741]

Plus I read that she has lupus and all the medication the make you take will mess w/your hormones duh and being older you will gain weight, people stop!

[@alexandrassupertramp]

"Beauty is a bad investment because in a society where beauty is the primary capital available to women, as soon as you don't have it anymore, you're disposable" BOOOOOM Omg amazing. seriously. you're so right

[@earnthis1]

That is partially true. I have many older friends in their 60's and they have great, adventurous, loving relationships. They just got over the age thing and found good partners. Believe me ladies, there are men out there who are interested in mature women. You might not get the attention from every single man, like in your 20's, but you can't internalize that so much if possible. Also, short guys have a harder time getting women, and they still find partners.

[@jrr7031]

When I say that to my kids and her friends it falls on deaf ears....I know kids are stupid but damn I AT LEAST took what my parent said into consideration

[@SublimeThinker]

In a nutshell😏

[@Ceeboyforlife]

If you are young ladies do not date a young man who hasnt reached his prime, 30s and 40s with good income. He will leave or cheat once his options open up. A man who has options and chooses you in your youth is the proper balance you want.

[@sagalmusse6977]

Soooooooo true. BINGO!

[@Badggyal]

And people wonder why at 17 I’ve never invested time or emotions into a relationship... it’s just unnecessary stress... I don’t mind being alone, it’s better than the reality of most relationships.

[@nueshb4797]

Same here.

[@hoebihoebi2536]

Same, it's draining. I would rather be a old cat lady.

[@itzurgurlElenore]

Youth is a commodity. Just place yourself around the BeSt people and court rather than date. You'll be fine.

[@bluevelvet2976]

Girl take it from somebody that knows ,keep your money , all of it. be selfish and narcistic ,it pays off, in the end. love yourself with passion, be your own best friend. you only have three, your Creator ,your mom and your dog or cat. you can tell them all your secrets ,trust me ,they will never let you down.

[@channiballecter]

Baby Sis, you're on the right path.

[@Jessmess112]

I cried all the time in my 30's about not finding a life partner. Now I'm over 40. Oh fkin well. I'm glad I didn't screw up my body on a lame ass man like Antoine. These men cheat with "a Nicole" after his faithful wife bore kids for him. If I meet a life partner, great. If not, it is what it is.

[@GoldenGraham25]

@T South WORD! I'll be 31 soon...no man....no kids.... And I really don't give a shit lol. I do what I want, go where I want and everynow and then and when I get "the urge"..well, that's covered too.😂 lol.

[@idanceforthestars]

Join the club

[@kthename08]

@@GoldenGraham25 😂😂 on the urge I love it.

[@latoyagriffin1410]

Thanks for posting this comment! I am 37 and facing the same issue; no husband and no children but I felt everything you wrote! I realize that I’d rather be single than to get married and regret it later. I’d prefer to be working to build my destiny and improve myself and traveling the world.

[@tikami5511]

Exactly

[@nueshb4797]

Having kids in my 20's sounds like a trap to me.

[@leilanidru7506]

Sis it is.

[@treneiceselles2705]

I second that...lol

[@utube2825]

I had my son at 36....a few weeks before my 37th birthday. But seriously if you want kids you should start trying in your 20s. Biological reality.

[@marcib6767]

It isn’t a trap for everyone. I got married at 25, had two kiddos with my husband, and then finished up my PhD at the U of T. Now I’m in my career and the timing was perfect for me. My marriage is very strong and loving - we’ve been married over 10 years now. And I’m enjoying my career. So while it may not work for everyone, it worked amazingly well for me. But to each his or her own - definitely do what works for you rather than simply marrying and having kids just because people feel you should etc. If it doesn’t work for you, don’t do it!

[@charmaineespeut4627]

Early 20s is for fun don't waste your youth on children

[@kentara_excelsior]

“We have to be more than the men who want to f**k us” chilled my body and my bones. This is a sermon.

[@moukhu]

It fuck me up, i had to repeat that part to be able to take it in

[@babyverse9824]

Well the weave and fat love handles he just wasn’t feeling it anymore. I don’t blame him for looking for a sweet tight body

[@bigkassino]

I wonder how many women would still love that line the same if they could never get laid.... I mean the answer never being yes....would you sexual desire seem like small potatoes then?

[@babyverse9824]

Shay Monte' you have the right to do anything you want at any moment. If you want to cheat fine if you want to be faithful fine. There is no right and wrong unless you believe in God and or morals loyalty. Was he wrong yes because he should be honest or dump her. But she should try to look like something worth having also. Nicole is 51 so enough with the excuses.

[@wildhalo2769]

@@moukhu 💝💝💝👏👏👏

[@kayellejay9608]

I know a lot of men who when you ask them why they chose their wife, they respond with "she's beautiful." Full Stop. When their wife is no longer a pretty trophy wife they get mad or resentful. It is important to find a partner that likes more than just the physical parts of you.

[@EmilyDickmesome]

Luxurious Mindset And what's in it for you in this "investment"?

[@ananse77]

@Luxurious Mindset "Pushing her opinion"? She is simply stating it. You're responsible for whether you agree or not. Why are people like you so strangely offended by people with different opinions than them??

[@ananse77]

@Luxurious Mindset You just tried to address it, but couldn't think of anything to say.

[@utrix_1121]

Just because Anon doesn't have a profile picture doesn't mean you have to make it a talking point. Anonymity on the internet is a gift, and those who give away either have reasons or are just stupid. And the woman in the video is right, beauty is a shitty investment.

[@louise-yo7kz]

@ Keisha, Ah yeah.

[@SeeYaLove-lh3db]

I don't mind aging, I can't wait to be 40 to say I made it, I don't want to go back to 21 thank you, im more comfortable now, if some guy doesn't find me beautiful I won't lose sleep

[@r.hathaway]

SeeYaLove tshazibana I turned 40 on Saturday, and it is lit. Love it!

[@SeeYaLove-lh3db]

R. Hathaway I think I'll love it too,so many young people are dying in their 20s it's a blessing you're alive ,we are all just concerned with the wrong thing because people on TV we don't even know have convinced us that we should strive to look younger than we are,when aging is a natural human thing

[@GoblinsAreAGirlsBestFriend]

I wish I felt that way! I really do! I'm 30 and I'm sad to grow older and I do wish I could be 21 again... I loved it! It wasn't perfect but it was without boundaries much more than being 30 is in my personal experience.

[@SeeYaLove-lh3db]

Fawn Whisperer really yeah 21 was fun,I won't argue with that ,back then I was obsessed with how I looked and how people saw me,I worked so hard to accept my self as I am,and be content with who I am,I guess the reason I feel the way I do is because I've found with age if you're open comes the wisdom to understand yourself and the world more and those things have always been important to me,in time I'm sure you won't want to be 21 you just haven't found that thing you know that makes you excited about life

[@mg.5968]

"why don't you go back in time and find your hair line". Yassss!!

[@babyverse9824]

Michele Gardner well if you get married it’s ur duty to keep your physical self together

[@monica9070]

@@babyverse9824 as for men! Too many of them let their hairlines and their waistlines go 🤦🏽

[@GMBee]

@@babyverse9824 As you're not her significant other, I believe it's your duty to be quiet and mind your business.

[@tyem4810]

Lion Man literally who made this rule

[@capgpro100]

That statement could be for men and women.

[@stillirise4401]

The amount of blame placed on Lela for a grown married man choosing to dishonor his vows was disgusting, disheartening & beyond disrespectful. My heart breaks for her.

[@babyverse9824]

Still I Rise fat is unacceptable. Stop eating soul food

[@aesinam]

@@babyverse9824 if he has such a problem with her size, he can leave and get the size he wants. No need to cheat.

[@babyverse9824]

Esinam Adzo why leave if she accepts it lmao 😂

[@rozaeallday]

I just find it so funny how low vibrational and animal like people are acting. If how she looks is more important than the content of her soul, then you as a human is lost in animalistic nature. Only in the animal kingdom is beauty the main driving force in procreation. It also the males that are more beautiful because they are the one competing to win a spouse. It’s so funny how backwards we live in reality because of the fragile ass male egos just can’t take rejection. Hence the birth of never take no for an answer! If you feel like all a women has to offer you is beauty and has to stay the same after birthing humans you’re the problem! In no way am I saying you can let yourself go and star in my 600 pound life but damn people really out here expecting the most.

[@thisistheday597]

@@rozaeallday Well, being physically attracted to someone's appearance is very human. There is a reason hair, makeup, and fashion companies make billions every year...and animals aren't buying their products. Lol! It's just the human condition to judge/like the appearance of people and things. Now I agree with you...we should dig deeper and learn to appreciate the person and not their beauty. Good looks fade and they fade fast! I'm almost 40 and I am not the cutie I use to be in my 20s. But my purpose and worth is not wrapped up in my looks. When I leave this earth I hope people will remember me by my good works that glorify my Father in heaven.

[@TASconfidential]

The dirty secret is that a lot of women regret gettting married and having a whole bunch of kids... but will never admit it. Many wish they would have said “fuck it”, grew old single, without compromise, and not having such stress.

[@LindaMitchell]

"Society would do whatever it takes to help men evade accountibility for their actions." This is a word!

[@thunderbug8640]

Next joke please. Take a look at the happenings on Twitch where its literally the opposite of what you just said.

[@innerpowerup]

When men have children they can't afford the only government housing they get is a jail cell. When a woman has children she can't afford she gets section 8. So how is society helping men avoid accountability?

[@a.h.2667]

There are plenty of women who rushed and got married and had kids in their 20s who are now in their 30s and either divorced and starting over or hiding their unhappiness in an unfulfilled marriage.

[@omgimover4075]

Exactly! Women my age are already on their 2nd marriage. When I was younger I use to be jealous of them. Smh Now I’m 40 never been married no kids & I’m living my best life lol. I’m less stressed because I barely have any responsibilities! lol

[@lMP5602]

Have a purpose in life and find a mate who also has a purpose. Having a purpose gets you through tough obstacles in life.

[@justanotherabc8888]

Facts. I am that woman. Got married hella young. Now I'm 30 with a preteen son and starting over again. But once I got myself together and happier, God did send an amazing man along who was right under my nose this whole time.

[@stephe.8818]

Not me. I'm excited😀

[@skylar_kada]

This is so true! If it happens with the right person, even in your twenties, it makes sense. But only as long as it’s a choice and not something you were bullied and scared into doing.

[@iamshakuri]

what I see is that the world looks and has been looking at women as goods. When she ages she is expired. When she has sex before marriage, she is used. If she had a broken heart and proceeds with caution, she is damaged. Women simply are not valued for the same things as men are. Men are valued for strength, valor, wit, power, experience etc. Women are valued for youth, beauty, timidness, neediness. These are all things that expire.

[@cindylou3524]

I've never heard a man describe neediness as a value in women

[@chevypaige2445]

@@cindylou3524 trust me it’s the key, especially if you’re looking for a sugar daddy. They love to know you’re in school and need help with the rent lol. It’s like that moment in a cartoon when a lady drops her handkerchief

[@cheuthao7624]

Well said.

[@wendylim9755]

@@chevypaige2445 It feeds into a man's pride to be able to help a damsel in distress

[@AntoniaOkafor]

Those tweets from Stefan should be the least of people’s worries. He is a proud racist. He believes that mixed children are inferior and anti race mixing. He literally believes black people have inferior intellectual ability. He is the definition of a sexist and racist man. But on another note, great video. It’s true that beauty is the primary form of power for women right now. That’s why we got to keep fighting to change that. Our daughters and granddaughters deserve so much better. They are so worthy no matter what people think of their looks.

[@IfWeRanTheWorldXers]

Thank you for explaining Stefan Molyeaux's (sp) racism--he's not only a proud racist, he's one of the major voices of alt-right KZbin. I'm suspecting his comment about family is really directed at white women to perpetuate the white race, as per his belief system.

[@RationallyMe]

And he was basically the head of a cult where he would literally get people to abandon their families, give their money to him, and if they got unbrainwashed and left, he would dox them and have the other members stalk and harass them. But... a few weeks ago, Stefan's KZbin channel-- his main source of income-- was permanently banned for promoting hate speech. So, he's about to disappear like Mylo Younopolous. I just can't believe there women so void of self-worth as to marry these types of men.

[@elenapopovic2527]

@@RationallyMe thank goodness, though off course platforms like Gab still let these people thrive and radicalize white supremacist terrorists, so were sadly never safe until we dissolve the underlying white supremacist system. The other commenter who mentioned this was directed at white women, yes, absolutely. I happen to be a white woman who has recently "expired" according to these types. I've heard a variation of the great replacement myth and how I can use my womb to help change this since I was 10. I feel blessed never to have capitulated. These white supremacist myths are absolutely why Black women, Indigenous women and women in ICE detention centers have been forcibly sterilized, while white women (without wealthy families or partners) are routinely denied safe access to abortion. The entire pro life movement is a function of white supremacy and that's true even in Canada, where I live.

[@bokc]

Correction: Men are not a good investment! A woman's power is in self sufficency. Physical beauty has and always will be up to the eyes of the viewer.

[@xowdavis]

THIS.

[@leilanidru7506]

.....and fades. It’s is subjective (not really, only to a very small extent) and it fades.

[@bigkassino]

True but there is a common standard....Yeah its in the eye of the beholder but certain attributes tend to attract more beholders often a higher caliber of beholders too.

[@msconcreterose93]

This is the one

[@kikibrown9548]

In this day and age it is best for women to have security outside of a man. I have seen too many situations where a woman is basically trapped with a man because she wasn’t self sufficient and had several children with him. There’s someone I know personally who’s with a man that is extremely controlling and withholds things that the family needs (health insurance, food, clothes) because he wants to get things for himself. She can do nothing about it because she is at home, doesn’t have her own money, and has three young children who are close in age. The men can’t be trusted. Too many of them are actually terrible people who will make your life miserable.

[@mermaidtingzzz]

I thought about how David Foster suddenly divorced Yolanda Hadid when she went thru her health issues when you referenced that study about men leaving sick wives but women staying with sick husbands. And B. Smith's husband having a whole girlfriend instead of just focusing on caring for B. Imagine a woman openly having a relationship with another man while she cares for her husband? THE WORLD WOULD FLIP! Don't even get me started on the racial dynamics in that situation as well. 😤

[@TNDCBaby]

The world flipped on B Smith's dude. I didn't because if I'm not mentally there I want to be taken care of AND I want my husband to be happy. Some folks start caring for someone and forget to care for themselves. B thinks that girl is her live in friend, which makes me think she is treating her very well. Just don't leave me alone with her.

[@taintedlife2618]

The Little Blerdmaid the gag is they are both beards for Foster. So he’s just renewing his cover up!

[@LiterallyTho]

The Little Blerdmaid I agree. The B Simone situation made me so angry. BM hella disrespectful in general but that a different conversation.

[@MsBojones]

Gurl!!!!!

[@trich4life]

Halle Berry got cheated on. Lela is still gorgeous. People need to drag the man.

[@franslam7398]

Halle Berry got cheated on looking the way she does and did. If a man wants to cheat not even looking like Halle Berry will help you.

[@kamilareeder1493]

Facts 👀☝️beyonce too 🤷‍♂️

[@AJ-cq5pw]

This is why people need to stop obsessing over the way celebrities look. I get so annoyed when people say "oh my god I wanna age like Nicole Kidman" or "oh my god she's like 50 and she still looks amazing!" like do people not get that big celebs are rich? Of course they look great. They have the money to look that way. They have money to pay for personal trainers and great organic food and uh plastic surgery. People need to stop praising celebrities for having "great bods" and aging well when most of us aren't going to be able to do that unless we're rich. Because it creates unrealistic beauty standards.

[@AJ-cq5pw]

BigDreams CAB People think she’s a aged beautifully even though she’s obviously had work done

[@eoa363]

True, and also how often do you see those people in real life? Because images in video and print can be altered.

[@wlwcats5810]

we need to stop placing so much value on looks, at least as individuals since the whole "beauty as capital" is still gonna be a thing, cause it's exhausting. just reading those types of things makes me feel like I'm gonna get a headache

[@AJ-cq5pw]

Emma XTC Everything you said is spot on! That’s why I’m done obsessing over how good celebrities look and idolizing their looks and lifestyles.

[@erica2love1]

I agree with some of what you said expect for the part of not going to be able to do that unless you’re rich. That’s totally false. You don’t have to be extremely wealthy to visit the gym or work out at home and eat healthy. Many regular people do it all the time without being extremely rich.

[@goatmonty]

As someone who's 21 and has struggled with an eating disorder since 13, this meant so much to me. Life is too short to think about how i look even when I'm home alone, in the dark, trying to sleep. I've spent a huge percentage of my life worrying about how pretty I am and it drains you.Thank you for giving your perspective.

[@bluebird1694]

Gurl u are beautiful. Your health is the most important, not some random guys wanting to fuck you.

[@wlwcats5810]

realizing that I don't exist to please men has been a huge part of my recovery, hang in there 💖 you are what matters most

[@novalinnhe]

I second what wlw cats said - I had an eating disorder too, although it went undetected and undiagnosed for a long time. Look after yourself beautiful. Hang in there xx

[@eoa363]

@@novalinnhe That is a good view: looking after yourself is beautiful.

[@englishlanguagewithnina5965]

Girl, I am so sorry you are going through it. It truly is such a terrible thing and you can't help but get sucked into it. My heart goes out to you. I wish I knew a way to guide you to getting those lies out of your mind! Listening to women like this speak the truth is a start.

[@ashleyyyluvsu100]

I almost choked on my Dr Pepper when you said “go back in time and find your hairline if it’s that important to you” 😭😂

[@Alex-ph5ir]

“Another sagging face in a crowded cat shelter” is literally what I aspire to, so joke’s on you, Stefan

[@CarlottaTrouble]

Hilarious thanks. My thoughts exactly!

[@eurekamreum5458]

Idk who told that man that the whole "cat lady" stuff was a bad thing to begin with, him and the other redpill idiots think they'll scare us by repeating that chant over and over but they don't realize that plenty of us want exactly that life lmao

[@farahnursingserious585]

@@eurekamreum5458 girrlll speak for yourself I want to be a lion lady hahaha. I actually want to raise a lion one day like those documentaries and Imma name him Mufasa or nala if shes a lady

[@eneyavorodecky]

I used to keep a collection of such tweets and every time a guy would argue how women are shallow, I would share the link or the individual tweet. I would also share statistics about men leaving their spouses if the spouse gets ill, also information about how marriages affect men and women differently. My general point always was 'the bar for men is on the floor. You need to remember that women deserve better than sentient human thumbs like Moulineux."

[@sadiM653]

Yeah yeah yeah, the same tired old story...”women should have kids and get married and start a family.” Blah blah blah, yet these same women are miserable dealing with cheating husbands. Best bet is to live your life for you, you follow someone else’s path you may just get lost on it.

[@a.d.w8385]

@@soraya.e5482 Then they better make sure to find a man that sees them as valuable and does not take advantage of her.

[@PolitiKings]

Some women are very happy "having kids, getting married, and starting a family". So speak for yourself!

[@emulan5887]

@@PolitiKings If that's the way some women want to live their life than obviously that is what they should do. You dont need to be told that.

[@PolitiKings]

@@emulan5887 True.

[@FreyaEinde]

soraya .e Children grow up so it’s good to have something else or else you have that feeling too.

[@rimbluebooks]

I'm 28 and need this video translated into my language so my aunties can get off my back. I'm tired of saying I wasn't born just to open my legs someday and produce, my propose is MORE THAN just that. Why can't I do both? 😑😑

[@quitecontrary23]

rimbluebooks you can def do both if you want both.

[@babyverse9824]

Sorry I don’t blame him Nicole fine

[@Belihoney]

@@babyverse9824 is your family worth a very hot woman though?

[@leilanidru7506]

Lion Man then get a fucking divorce. Why keep ur wife of decades and mother of your three (that we know of) children around just so you can sleep around on her? It’s an immoral thing to do either way. She’s fine as hell. But when u say ur wedding vows sickness and in health don’t just become irrelevant when the person gains weight. And if it really stops being that for you then fuckin leave. Being fat or fine Or whatever doesn’t justify immoral behavior.

[@leilanidru7506]

Lion Man also funny how women have a responsibility to look 25 in their mid fifties but men don’t have a responsibility to be loyal and keep their dick in their pants.

[@QueenZsWorld]

A part of me don't want to get married to prove this point: As someone who is seen as classically beautiful, many people feel entitled to me in a way that feels exploitive and out of my control. My name, Zinhle, means beautiful; from birth, this has been a common focus & source of pressure, among other things. At a young age I was sexualized by other young girls (slightly older than me). I've had people stop my parents and I in the streets to compliment our looks. When I expressed to my cousins I might not get married, immediately they got upset, saying "we were going to make so much money off you (from a cultural dowry practice called Lobola)!" I don't owe anyone my beauty and neither does anyone else. Do what you want in a way that feels comfortable to you, in your own control. And make sure you treat everyone, regardless of looks, like they are precious. That's how we end the cycle

[@haggisa]

Queen Zey Beautifully put. It also reminded me of the phrase I’d hear often, when I was younger - “You’re so pretty, you should smile more!” Yes, of course, my appearance automatically means you get to try to control my expressions and mental state. Urgh.

[@logic888]

i feel this.

[@amasion2882]

Beautifully stated. It’s weird how society feels entitled to control/instruct “beautiful” girls and women to promote their own agendas.

[@FromtheeyesofShaun]

Queen Zey just explained this to a guy on his KZbin vid. He’s mad because he can’t Fck a *pretty girl* so I said.... often times men feel obligated to women’s beauty and there not even as attractive or attractive at all.. leading them to put pressure on beautiful women and leave behind the ones of there caliber... it’s a crazy game

[@juicykindess3129]

Sorry about that experience I know staying in south Africa and Johannesburg people are money driven and looks is big commodity

[@chikaka2012]

Most men are going to be dead by the time you hit your 70s, including your husband. The best investment is to learn how build a strong community of females who love and support you, both friends and relatives. The saddest old women aren’t the ones without kids. They’re the ones who can’t get along with other women.

[@jackiemaldonado7777]

Damned I'm fucked lol signed, a loner with no kids

[@Sandreline]

I hate fake "everyone is beautiful" positivity. Because even as they're trying to break free from it, they're still making beauty the central goal. They've tried to shift the definition, but it's still the most important thing. I understand that some people want and need that, but I'm just really not interested. Which would be find if people didn't take it as a personal affront when you tell them that. I don't want to care whether or not I'm beautiful. I do, because of course I do. But in my ideal world, I wouldn't. it's okay if you're not beautiful. There are way more interesting things to be.

[@ToyaF82]

Well said

[@berthabutt-boogie6147]

When you accept that you are not beautiful most people would view you as depressed... So you have to say "I am ugly AND I love myself"😁

[@JoyOfZion9]

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. So physical beauty shouldn't define our true beauty.

[@dianavivaldi4503]

BEST COMMENT EVER! YOU'RE SOOOOOOOOOO RIGHT!

[@haggisa]

CJ God, yes. I have a lot of appreciation and respect for people, who promote “body positivity” and teach others to accept oneself for how you look, despite your scars and perceived imperfections, but sometimes that type of thinking really does consist of hammering home the notion, that you *need* to feel beautiful, otherwise you’re mentally unhealthy. Which can be true for some people, but certainly not all. Life would be far more simple, if we didn’t have physical bodies.

[@beautifulblacksoul8611]

I just want to put on record, Antoine Fuqua is older than Nicole Murphy. His wife, Lela is older than Nicole Murphy. People hyped it up because they thought Lela "lost her man" to an older woman. Despite being sick/overweight, Lela looks younger than Nicole Murphy. She's still gorgeous. She's still beautiful.

[@RandomLinda14]

My eyesight must be getting worse because Nicole definitely looks older than Lela.

[@beautifulblacksoul8611]

@klwarren169 yet people assumed that Lela got her man stolen from her by an older woman. They looked at Lela and saw a younger woman. You're not saying anything different from what I said.

[@beautifulblacksoul8611]

@@RandomLinda14 Lela looks younger. I guess when you're unproblematic...

[@joshuamcdowell5782]

Lela is still a beautiful woman even with the extra weight. Nicole does have a nice body but she looks like a lizard in the face. Nicole is not as attractive as people say she is

[@RandomLinda14]

@@beautifulblacksoul8611 My mind is still blown that she isn't 57.

[@katherinesinkler156]

Angela Bassett is never going to age; she's the vampire from Brooklyn, remember?

[@ev_evolves]

Katherine Sinkler lol

[@Animefreak242]

LOL She ages and she gets work done.

[@bigles4351]

Katherine Sinkler 🤣🤣🤣

[@snickerdoodle212]

😂😂😂

[@AnabethalightASMR]

😂 love

[@Notinuseee]

'Beauty is a commodity' - You are speaking facts! It's a commodity that we are expected to chase for our whole lives. Also, that ride or die mindset is for sure a type of poverty mentality: A woman will ride or die for a trashbag because she fears being left alone and feels like she can't do better. If I aint riding then best believe that it's because I'm LEAVING. Ride or leave ladies not ride or die!✔

[@angryblackwomanphd4241]

I agree with you. I dont believe in being a ride or die.

[@AJ-cq5pw]

Me neither. It's BS

[@Butterfly-vr5py]

@@183Itsme ok dust bunny

[@183Itsme]

Mharris Mharrs hi! What’s a dust bunny?

[@wlwcats5810]

exactly, the only person you should be a ride or die for is yourself, be your own soulmate and all too

[@QuixoticUkulele]

Lela is the only one I feel for in this mess.

[@MelonBrews]

Okay!

[@nix2747]

And the kids

[@donatellabenn1209]

Why she stayed with him after he had 2 outside kids on her.

[@aphro123star]

I don't feel bad for her🙄 She condoned and tolerated his behaviour for years and still didn't walk away when he had 2 other kids. She should've seen this coming

[@QuixoticUkulele]

It's real easy to say you'll leave a man after he promises you that he's changed, especially if that man is your husband. But to actually go through it...

[@ShesRelatable]

It depends on who the woman is because nobody blamed Beyonce when Jay cheated. Giiirrllll society is full of it

[@littlesometin]

true.

[@candacen7779]

Do you think they might've had Bey been in her 50s and put on weight? I'm not saying you're wrong, but the circumstances are somewhat different.

[@shonnie1203]

I didn't see a lot of blame on Jay Z. It was mostly toward "Becky with the good hair." A lot of ppl (as far as I can tell) see him as a sophisticated sort of guy. Not a no good, disrespectful cheater who happens to have a lot of money.

[@MsJardinplume]

It's the beyJive, I mean, beyHive affect.

[@DeAMurphy2004]

At 51, most of the women who got married in their 20’s were divorced but 35-40. They had children. Some had limited help from the Ex. By 55-60, the others were divorced. Male infidelity, inequality in domestic responsibilities, fighting, suspicion and a fundamental lack of communication..... Oddly, the women who married for the first time in their late 30 and mid 40’s-AKA, OLD ENOUGH TO KNOW WHAT THEY WANTED OUT OF LIFE AND NOT JUST WHAT WAS EXPECTED OF THEM-came into the relationship on more solid ground.

[@lenoreosei4498]

“Use your position within this system to set your life in such a way where it will not matter later” I think you hit the nail on the head.

BAM.

[@babyverse9824]

Riana Anaïs fat will get you cheated on

@@babyverse9824 apparently so will skinny lol. ANy man who cheats based on looks is one you just use for money anyway. So who cares

[@khemiade450]

Right! Kim really did hit that one. Build your empire from it then just chill out in your kingdom of success without the stress of needing your looks anymore.

[@lenoreosei4498]

Beauty is vain. Self care , caring for you mental health, physical health protecting your energy, higher standard at every stage of your life is worth investing your time in.

[@belladonna5904]

Beauty is power. It is creative, intuitive, affirmng, a life giving force. It is in the sunflowers and the sunlight, it's expression, giving birth to a vision. Vanity? Only if you consider the colors of the rainbow vain in their glory.

[@PolitiKings]

Spoken like a true ugly person! :D (jokes, but you set yourself up for that one)

[@ddoubleu170]

♥️

[@AnekoFoxx]

The women who have been considered most beautiful, cute, pretty, and sexy have been cheated on. Lack of beauty is not the source of cheating, it’s the cheater themself.

[@avawilliams5827]

I don’t think I owe men beauty, but I think I owe it to myself.

[@ChrisBrooks34]

I think we should also talk about how once you are deemed beautiful or conventionally attractive you're not worth anything else. You're never taught to invest in your mind or in expanding your ideas or really finding who you are outside of beauty. You are told that you're beautiful and basically that's supposed to be the only worth you have in your life; that is detrimental to the mental health of any woman because you have a mind and thoughts and ideas and all of that is supposed to be squashed behind a pretty face.

[@BBYGELLE]

Christie Brooks THIS.

[@Luna-kb3sr]

Kim, as a 42 year old woman with a younger husband this really hit home. I'm exhausted trying to keep up but as a Black don't crack woman, we're expected to. The pressure to remain beautiful NEVER ends.

[@lesliehutchinson5899]

Thank you. He started cheating when she was skinny. He's a cheater period

[@christianabhishek647]

Do you have any evidence?

[@mckeewardiv6307]

Body shaming is so wack to me. SO CORNY!

[@mya2317]

This new definition of friendship in 2019 got people acting real loose.

[@babyverse9824]

This is a good opportunity for black Woman to address there weight issues. They are the biggest race of women in America

[@earnthis1]

Hahaha! funny comment, but this stuff has been going on forever!

[@angelagm566]

I love being 58. I will be 59 in 20 days and I'm very excited...

[@neljay9149]

Happy birthday to you!

[@traciesommerville3819]

Ditto. On the 25th.

[@allinone-qz2gi]

Dude, I met my husband when I was in my mid 30s, and gained a lot of weight after we were married. Man, sometimes I have to pry him off me with a crowbar to get some space! Not to mention I'm 40 now and we're expecting our first child. Moral of the story: don't let anyone tell you what you can and can't do! Keep up the good work, Harriet!

[@sybilgaler7992]

The most beautiful thing about any woman is a loving heart and a developed character. At seventy, character built through life and trials is the most beautiful thing about me. The hours spent on physical beautiful are gone like dandelion fluff. What remains are the loving words spoken, the kindness extended or received and the times I was a positive influence in the world .

[@bluevelvet2976]

Sybil Galer , I love your mind .spoken with wisdom.

[@ginab464]

Amen

[@farahnursingserious585]

[@iamcasihart]

You are one of the most articulate, bright, strong, badass, truly electric women I've ever had the pleasure of listening to & watching. Kim, thank you for every video & as a 41 year old feminist, THANK YOU for speaking up & out on this topic! I wish I could shake your hand & have a conversation with you over drinks or tea. Your content has become *must-see* for me. P.S. In November of 2001, I briefly met Lela Rochan. I was in Beverly Hills on Rodeo Drive with my lifelong BFF. Lela was going into a store with her young son. I recognized her & spoke to her. That woman is more than physically beautiful. She is a lovely person!

[@zan752000]

You can be beautiful at any age.

[@capgpro100]

Yep.

[@jocelynamtower9508]

zan752000 yes you can

[@theanny2258]

You know what Kim? You are beautiful. Not for your looks but for your intelligence, worth and opinions. Personality is the real form of beauty. And that should be the standard. Not just for women but also men. You can have a gorgeous surface but what’s underneath that?

[@jadefreed145]

😍👍👍

[@sumlily]

I 100% agree with this video! I spent a lot of my younger life perpetually obsessed with my looks and whether or not I was attractive. I wasted so much time, money, and mental and emotional energy. A few years ago I was very blessed to meet my now husband who made it clear that he was attracted to me the human not a weird made up doll. I don’t wear makeup (not even at my own wedding), I haven’t shaved anything in years (like 5 years and yes I have really dark noticeable hair!), and my toiletries consist of shampoo, conditioner and toothpaste. I get to spend my time and mental energies having good conversations with people, learning, working and other more productive things and its great! I have also found that getting out of the beauty racket is encouraging and empowering to other women as well when they see you not being afraid to put your real self out there. And really if you want to be attractive what matters way more than physical looks is: kindness, a genuine interest in other people, confidence (not obsessed with your limitations) and the drive and follow through to actually do things and really just being present in this short life that we have been given. End rant lol

[@bluevelvet2976]

You said that in a wonderful way ,that's what real men want, not someone obsessed with their own reflection. the love and kindness will last. when I was a Nurse, I am retired now. I worked with a 80 something lady that had alzheimers. her body was that of an 80 year old, she had breast implants that were perfect, they looked so odd on her body. all of that hard work to be beautiful and now she has alzheimers ,well at least she cant remember she has perfect boobs. theres a lesson in all of these comments.

[@HaloandMetroid]

As someone who knows who Stefan Molyneux is, trust me when I say you don't want to know who Stefan Molyneux is.

[@channiballecter]

I don't know, but now I GOTTA know!

[@Lafemmefutile]

He just sounds like those reactionary men who think women have to be servants.

[@amiralamb]

I was shocked she quoted him. 😬🤮

[@channiballecter]

@R H E A I just saw some of his stuff here on KZbin 🤦🏿‍♀️

[@channiballecter]

@R H E A From your mouth to God's ears cause Lord knows I was mad at myself for going to look him up in the first place.

[@bakergeetee]

I always see myself as vain enough to care about how I look, but always gave more attention to developing, building, and maintaining my character, career skills and personality. I absolutely love clothes, makeup and not looking my age(real talk: I believe I look and I definitely feel more beautiful now at 49 years old than at any time in my alleged beauty prime of my late teens to my late 20s), however I value my intelligence and character a whole lot more.

[@papertags]

How come it took her 14.5 minutes of talking in circles and still never saying anything as worthwhile as what you just said in one paragraph

[@shadele17]

Well said.

[@PolitiKings]

Your perspective even sounds beautiful!

[@MarqueshaMartin]

I'm 43 and I owe nobody an explanation for my existence. Just be.

[@christianabhishek647]

Good for you. You should also consider digging your own grave by yourself as well if you want to keep living with foolishness; life is short after all. Well, it's too late for you anyway; maybe in hell, you would reconsider your stubbornness. May you find peace in God.

[@peace4all928]

It's time for women to redefine ourselves as well as our relationship with men

[@pink_magical_girl]

That pink is gorgeous on you

[@kennedytaylor4783]

"Go back in time and find your hairline!" I'm a bald guy and that made me laugh.

[@Emma.E.Emerson]

I'm 58 years old and never paid to get my hair done or on skin care. (only to dye my hair). I saved for a house instead. :) I won't pay for a gym, I just always walked up to 5 miles a day, etc.. I have to say at 58 years old being thin (only 10 lbs overweight) is for health reasons... my heavier friends are having health issues that are related to their weight. :( I also am divorce and do not want to date a heavy man, because they have more health issues compounded by their weight (a man I love had that(and died prematurely young)... so it is about health to stay relatively thin). I agree, too many women spend on BEAUTY products to attract men; when they should save for a house, etc. GREAT VIDEO. Oh, I still have men asking me out at 58 but I am very particular.. on finding out why they are divorce and is they are good in their heart and soul.. Better to alone, and happy financially I am solid and don't need to hook a man to help me.. (since I did not squander my money ever on fancy clothes, etc..

[@fatimahrahman6158]

Your wisdom and perspective is on point. I was known as a beautiful girl. I knew that this game was rigged as both my parents were really good looking, and they told me so. I was encouraged to develop my personality, interests, education and inner strengths. I did. I see women chasing the illusion of "beauty" and have lost their way because this illusion cannot be attained. Goodness and conscientiousness, honesty, kindness, grace and compassion are more beautiful than a pretty face. Pretty faces and nice physiques diminish. Muscles and smooth skin fade. An evolved and decent soul lives on. Cheating is a violation of one's vows and integrity. Cheating in public is a special sort of evil, as you wish to hurt your partner. Lela woman must muster her inner strength, wear her exquisite smile, and walk away with her head held high. That would truly be beautiful!

[@TheTeresamori]

Please talk about women who don’t want to get married and are happy about it.

[@lavonnealexander6936]

Iol I wanted too but after having a few man in my life I said fuck no. Lol 😂 even my brothers are like no sister .

[@Artliker1234]

Dude I learnt about this in my university class people who are single and childless and desire this are the happiest group of people in the world

[@TheTeresamori]

Artliker1234 I’m a breeder I have a son and I’m in a healthy relationship but not everyone wants to rush to cohabit or to commit 24/7. I’m sorry I see people getting together and getting married because it’s what they have to do not what they want. Maybe I’m seeing things but I’m a grown woman and I think I see more clearly now. For sure we need to hear more about women who are happy alone and that is a viable option not a last resort.

[@KateeAngel]

I am like that

[@Ceeboyforlife]

Good idea, so when we leave you, no harm no foul.

[@HufflepuffJinki27]

As a young girl growing up there was nothing I wanted more than to grow up and be a 35 year old mature lady who lived in an apartment with a balcony overlooking the city. Now as I grow up I see the early 20 year olds in my life complain about being old or joking theyll kill themselves before they are 30. Im even guilty of this. It is sad to me how women react to aging and honestly who wouldnt when older women are treated the way they are.

[@lavonnealexander6936]

HufflepuffJinki27 wtf my mom definitely doesn’t get that treatment. She is 43 and man still find her sexy. It’s crazy to think.

[@serenitysbubble2384]

@@lavonnealexander6936 honestly when I turned 30 I was depressed I'm 33 now but the male attention hasn't stopped. My mum is 53 and still gets the male gaze I do think confidence plays a big part tbh

[@HufflepuffJinki27]

@Morgue Nooo don't please. There's so much you can still do with your life.

[@azuriwhitlock]

He said "crowded cat shelter" lol! I think women should just "Be". No matter what you look like, somebody's going to judge you. Life is too short to even spend time on that mess.

[@thewilytroutesq5260]

Actresses Helen Hayes and Ruth Gordon, famed for their talents rather than their beauty, attended a Hollywood premier together. Surrounded by glamorous bombshells, Gordon turned to Hayes and said, "Well, dearie, when all that crap is long gone, we'll still be working." And they were. There are benefits to never being considered beautiful, at all. What you build won't fade.

[@bluevelvet2976]

TheWilyTrout ESQ , I haven't heard Ruth Gordans name since 'Rosemarys Baby' but she was right, each generation must learn.

[@wendyguity4168]

This is the ABSOLUTE BEST!!!

[@jpsoso8748]

When I was younger, so many people had expectations based on the way I looked. Instead, I pursued a career and building my own financial happy ending. Although, I've had a relationship or two along the way, I never married or had children. I am looking at retirement without fear. I've traveled the world and will continue to do so in retirement. My family loves me for who I am now. And yes, I am no longer that 21-year old 115 pounds nubile young woman, I am thankful to have an income that allows me to take care of my health and teeth (which is important). My mom taught me that beauty fades and it's what you make of your life that is important. I have taken that lesson to heart. So I don't fear aging and I enjoy my more mature beauty inside and out.

[@maellescorner]

I completely agree. As a lesbian who still fits into what society views as conventional attractiveness, I understand and am even grateful at times for the benefits I am afforded, but I also understand that this is fleeting. And what truly matters is not who I am able to attract, but what I am able to with my time here and whether I can build a content life. Basically, do you sis. Put yourself first, love yourself first, and conquer this world.

[@lavonnealexander6936]

Maelle Safvet 👏🏿👏🏿👏🏿👏🏿👏🏿exactly!

[@laurenalexandria1504]

Society is sick and the minute you disagree with the mainstream they look at you like you're crazy. Whatever happened to the value in human life? I can't believe people said such hurtful things about Lela. We are so lost it's sad. Women no longer have value once their beauty is "lost". We as women have to find our happiness outside of the mainstream glitz and glam.

[@marizzvvvv3521]

Omg thanks finally someone said it. This fake positivity shit "everyone is beautiful" still miss the point. That beauty should not be your main investment, you are MORE than your physical appearance, and it does not matter that much.

[@nkemsss]

I totally agree. Having a plan B is the way to go if you're going to pursue beauty as a ladder to higher social/economic status.

[@ant123924]

That statement there 'Having a plan B.....'

Its not a plan B though. It should be your plan A. Meaning, only use beauty as a tool to achieve the ultimate goal. Don't seek resting on your beauty as an actual job. Just use it as any other privilege and open doors for ALL women.

[@TonyaAnntoinette_]

Look at the Kardashian dynasty, if they didn’t have generations of beautiful women their appeal probably would’ve dwindled a long time ago.

[@lilmeow531]

@@TonyaAnntoinette_ The Kardashians got yall thinking they are beautiful. Even with their million dollar plastic surgeries there are still so many many more beautiful women that aren't famous.

[@TonyaAnntoinette_]

Lil Meow I personally wouldn’t call them beautiful but that I’d definitely what their empire was built upon

[@pivotb5691]

I’m not surprised by this; everyone had this same reaction when TI cheated on tiny with Bernice Burgos. Men gave him a pass cause Bernice is fine so “why wouldn’t he”; ugh makes me sick

[@toriyt2714]

Pivot B while tiny over there doing all she can to her face and body to keep his attention smh

[@spazz-ok9nr]

What do u believe is the reason tiny stayed with ti

[@trayog2459]

Nicholas Heath low self esteem and afraid to be alone

[@spazz-ok9nr]

@@trayog2459 uhhh I'm not sure if that's low self esteem as oppose to understanding reality. If we're brutally honest their situation is one of the rare occasions in which the man would have undoubtedly better options if they were to break up. I think the reason tiny puts up with his abuse is becuase she knows this. I do agree with the not wanting to be alone part though.

[@ThatDoll25]

Yatora Remble not to mention the threesomes and fake “sexual freedom.” Pretending she enjoys that foolishness.

[@ReasonsWhy5]

A woman like Lela is way more than her looks & too many "beautiful women" ain't shit, like Nicole. But men do take advantage of both. They want a Lela at home & a Nicole on the side. This ain't nothing new.

[@louise-yo7kz]

@ Reasons why, true

[@cremepuffle]

Exactly

[@preprethereal1920]

I wrote an essay in my 11th grade year and the prompt was is it better to beautiful or smart. I said beauty fades but if your smart it will take you even further in life.(a short summary)

[@a.d.w8385]

Im starting to really be so pro woman to the point where I like f men altogether. I know there are nice men. However, I believe our society's women will be much happier and mentally healthy if we tell our girls young to invest in themselves and think of men last, like they do us. Be pretty and fit because you want to. Go to school, do a trade and make bread for your own self sufficiency. Because these men hold us to impossible standards. And those of us that do meet "good girl" standards are still brushed to the side the moment we age, our bodies change due to weight gain, or we go through a sickness like Lela. Or any other naturally human transformation. While they can get old with beer bellies. Screw the patriarchy. Men are a bad investment. Invest in womanhood.

[@ero8492]

You wrote my exact feelings.

[@Ceeboyforlife]

Tell young girls to invest in a successful older man in their youth, respect that man, take care of him. Tell them not to sleep around and men could care less about your professional success. The further you stay away from your purpose the lonelier you'll be

[@haute03]

Well, that was a word!

[@Katie-tk3me]

a.d.w. n. Amen!

[@imbored1989]

a.d.w. n. I completely agree with you

[@kayanurshiya3778]

Stefan molyneux isn’t talking about women in general but white women only since they’ve been struggling with low childbirth. this man is eugenicist and believes the superiority of the white race. he isn’t talking about women wasting their youth and beauty on superficialities. but white women Pursuing education/career first then having problems later when they decide to have children.

[@a.d.w8385]

Yikes. Is he a KKK member too? May as well be. Damn.

[@katherinemorelle7115]

a.d.w. n. Well, he’s Canadian, and I don’t think they have a KKK chapter up there. But his views are the same.

[@alexn.2901]

@@katherinemorelle7115 Yeah, we used to have one in the Prairies and Ontario. They even attacked a couple because they thought the husband was white. They did a lot of cross burnings and terrorized interracial couples. Politicians accepted their support and they were called the Invisible Empire. They also fought for free speech.

[@louise-yo7kz]

Yes, that's a prevalent thought amongst evangelicals. Mormons etc

[@KateeAngel]

Yeah he would not care about women of other races with low birth rate

[@claisrose1350]

One reason seniors struggle with loneliness is because of all the kids they had that don’t visit or take care of them. Life lesson, the only thing you can count on is you. Never forget it.

[@lilbihxxx1234]

Funny how everybody talks about how women look the 'best' in their teen and early 20s when the human prime is LITERALLY 25-35 and yet they call those ages 'getting older' and 'drying up'. I cannot with society lol.

[@00Noir]

Awesome video. As a 20-something who suddenly gained a lot of weight due to mental health issues, this really touched on a lot of stuff that I have been thinking about lately. I didn't realize I had that capital until it was diminished/gone - and I think a lot of women don't realize that either. Now I'm working on accepting and touching in with myself, while also navigating a world that sees me as 'lesser' due to my weight

[@somegirl101]

you're doing amazing sweetie. You deserve the best regardless

[@MsBojones]

HANNNNNAHHHH!!!-- Hannah Please know.. YOUR CAPITAL is far... far from depleted..weight or no weight..sweetheart.. you are only 20 something...Your have a wealth( goo-gobs) of unspent capital.. and plenty plenty of time to bank more... do that.. see yourself ... KNOW YOUR WORTH... your are sooo soo soo valuable...know that .. make that your mantra... everyday.. mental illness is real...but be sure that you dont let someone else lable you...you are different...and events can make us change.. we are human... humans are the most fragile creatures on the planet..and at the same time the strongest and most resilient... I know you are... I just know

[@nicthommi]

The other part that is interesting is that women are expected to perform beauty for men who are not Antoine Fuqua has always been an ugly man. Imagine having to stay perfect just for men who were never attractive, yet that's another unspoken part of this discussion.

[@belladonna5904]

Lol doesn't matter. If men have money.

[@shaytaylormade5244]

So true

[@shaytaylormade5244]

Even broke men want a Halle berry how tho

[@allisonmcinnis5929]

@@shaytaylormade5244 broke men have the highest standards lookwise

[@paulkofa3238]

Sorry to say but a women beauty can not compete with a man wealth and status. Sorry to say but beautify fades with age and wealth grows with age. Sad to say again but there are women who sell there souls for men with money

[@GiaNescio]

Gave very few F's about beauty, focused on my career until about 35. Met my husband when I wasn't wearing a stick of makeup or in a cute outfit. Had my son at 37. I'm lucky though that just refusing to buy in worked out for me.

[@ashleysartattack5600]

If that ain’t the truth about the husband leaving the sick wife. When I was 13 my mom broke her arm and leg at the same time while trying to help my dad move his mechanic equipment. And he basically immediately checked out and then tried to divorce her the next year. He completely left me to take care of her in the wheelchair. And when she couldn’t help him make money anymore, ghosted.

[@disagio9517]

'Go back in time and find your hairline' OOOOOWWW DAYUM

[@universetrip6766]

Get paid for being beautiful, invest that money in education, health, and assets. Now, that’s a good investment.

[@ambitiousblackgirl3013]

I’m glad someone gets it. Use your youth and beauty to your advantage, and invest in yourself.

[@sophiaatn5339]

YOU SMART

[@universetrip6766]

Sophia ATN thanks love 💕 I’m posting a video about this topic now!

[@WastingtimeInc]

You had me at "beauty is a form of capital" I'm in love

[@pentz1]

The beauty standard for black women is much higher than 25...it ranges from 30- 45 in my opinion

[@sunmont1461]

I agreed. That is because we maintain without wrinkles way long. In fact you can find black women in there 50s maintaining.

[@pentz1]

100% agree.

[@linnyw1072]

Cicely tyson is 90 ...grace Jones 70...Tina Turner 70 all gorgeous

[@dianavivaldi4503]

Yeah, we are not dogs so... It has to be different for bw.

[@jenfever24]

Agreed