I'm done with Mean Girl Feminism (an Ayesha Curry rant)

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[@91toinfinity]

People: "Tell your truth." Ayesha Curry: *tells her truth* Same people: "We don't like your truth."

[@LYBism]

I think people just don't like HER more than they dislike her truth.

[@Nu_Classic]

Facts

[@miwawilliams1339]

THIS!

[@miwawilliams1339]

@@LYBism I agree.

[@ericheart1198]

Nah. It was one of those she should keep in house. You know talk to her husband about it. Imagine Step saying this.

[@reneishabrooks5187]

"I hate that people use feminism to be their meanest selves." Preach!

[@DrCareyYazeedTV]

Exactly!

[@vliciouss]

An example would be Lala Kenat from Vanderpump Rules 👀

[@brieoliver]

@Courtney Green Why wouldn't she? Who wants to be thought of as an unattractive person???

[@rogers5622]

V L right!She bragged about giving head for Private Jet trips but then screamed "Me Too" when 50.called her out on it😏😂

[@DeCurtaRican]

Ayesha is the one weaponizing her femininity.

[@shandifox]

"women are socialized to find our value in how men respond to us" this is it, this is the quote.

[@LikangelOfficial]

“Women are socialized to compete for male attention.”

[@bulbasaur1232]

Thats true, id say even more so, for males.

[@hangukhiphop]

Such an odd statement. Having to compete in the dating market is a truism for all genders and sexual orientations where there are other people in your dating pool to compete with.

[@HayGurlHay]

Women truly have the great task of unfuc*ing themselves from this type of mentality, which is so ingrained into us from such a young age. It's hard, and some women never get to that point.

[@1989menutheiswhat]

I agree society and culture have a lot to do with it, but there are also evolutionary traits that make humans, women included competitive and territorial when it comes to prospective partners. It's called (female) intrasexual competition. If we keep denying humans do have competitive (biological) drives that need to be recognized and dealth with, I don't think we will advance much.

[@HayGurlHay]

I believe that can happen if women live in a specific area where finding mates are limited. But for the vast majority I'd say that would boil down to internalized misogyny. Do you think? I can admit I took part in intrasexual competition when I was a teenager and even early 20s when I was insecure with myself, but I no longer fight for the attention of prospective sexual partners. It feels like self hatred and not knowing your worth to me personally, but I can't speak for others. There doesn't seem to be as much of a need to compete for male attention these days as we don't tend to depend on men for money/ survival /happiness and it's easier to find a sexual partner, but of course there are exceptions! Also a ton of women are not even sexually attracted to men, but I'm sure you were talking about the ones who are. Interesting topic!

[@stephenburgess5710]

Your combination of empathy, critical thinking, and truthfulness is exactly what we need right now.

[@Kaykay-jh1zu]

yes

[@WillijahDawson]

Stephen Burgess yesssss I adore her perspectives.

[@tessemo]

I know! It's a breath of fresh air.

[@TyMarie92]

like that is exactly what feminism should be

[@copelana6786]

I knoooooooo amazing

[@miche8868]

"Ayesha is not an avatar for you to project all your emotional trauma onto" SAY IT LOUDER

[@Morgan-jz6je]

like beyoncé said, “i’m ready to be desired by one man, but i don’t mind being desired by all” sometimes you just wanna know you still got it. ain’t nothin wrong w that.

[@theuncensoredaboriginal]

Morgs sure if u want to be single and your not Beyonce

[@wewereonlyseven9325]

@@theuncensoredaboriginal why would you have to be single??😂... Niggas go to clubs or go out with their boys and love the attention they get from other females.. nothing wrong with it as long as you're not entertaining it (flirting like you don't have a girl/woman at home(... Same with a female..

[@strawberryloli]

@@wewereonlyseven9325 "Ladies leave your man at home..."

[@trillviaplath]

@@strawberryloli Ayesha needs real friends to hit the streets with from time to time. She's sat out her 20s playing patriarchy princess games, pregnant & at home alone.

[@shonvision5009]

Yessssss I remember when Bey said that!!! and I understood IMMEDIATELY!!! We as women all feel that way 🤷

[@ThaBlkRainbow]

😂😂 "Feminist in the streets, Pick-Me in the sheets" All facts!

[@sistersovereigntea868]

A motto.

[@poochieloo9870]

😭😭🤣🤣🤣😭😭🤣

[@jv_25_4eva]

What is a Pick-Me?

[@kking4768]

These needs to be a shirt ASAP😅👏🏽

[@Sesi_angel_india1000]

That line got meeee 🙆🏾‍♀️🙆🏾‍♀️🙆🏾‍♀️🤣🤣🤣

[@a.h.2667]

I really didn't expect to see the level of dragging she got from this interview. But vulnerability is a strange concept in society, especially on social media. If you don't appear perfect to a bunch of strangers then something is wrong with you.

[@djbluejazz7349]

Nothing wrong with being vulnerable but u can't put stuff out into the world and expect no one not to have an opinion on it. That's been pretty obvious since forever I don't know why ppl would think otherwise.

[@800mEric]

Rofl, what?!? She’s getting dragged for being ungrateful and disrespectful to a man who’s the epitome of success that appears to have done nothing but treat his wife nice and made her into a multimillionaire, and this is the thanks he gets. Many lessons can be learned, but one is do not settle for someone who thinks their better than you, you weren’t their ideal choice but they settled with you cause of your success.

[@800mEric]

Devils Advocate Devils Advocate 1. She turned him down first and finally settled after he was a sure thing in his basketball career, so wrong. She actually was looking to become a model but she wasn’t successful in it. 2. You’re damn right I’m acting that way as that how infidelity happens. She should be grateful a man that’s wanted by many women, has checked most boxes of success chose her and gives her attention. I don’t know how you think a married woman who says she wishes other men gave her attention on national tv is not disrespectful.

[@mermaidtingzzz]

My roommate said some weird shit, along the lines of "her comment was doing too much" (she's a non-blk person btw) she couldn't even explain to me what she meant by that. How is someone's honest NORMAL feelings "doing too much"? Then she tried to route into "but she's pretty" to which I said "aaaand? It doesn't mean she feels it". And the fact that anyone is trying to make this out to be some great betrayal of Steph is honestly sexist and generally DUMB. Rich or nah, WOMEN HAVE FEELINGS, just like men have feelings. Her body is changing a lot, it's probably not as easy to bounce back after baby number 3, and he's not able to be there as much to help her through the process. These are normal things ppl go thru (even on a smaller budget). It's nice when people let down the facade of perfection, the fact that others take it as a time to pounce just proves WHY she put up the facade anyway.

[@Littlenik]

@@800mEric did her husband say all that lol and i bet steph understands EXACTLY WHAT SHE MEANT . theyve been together since 15 only you simple ass niggas and bitches think theres an actual problem with what she said. to think this is disrespect is childish to say the very least.

[@ashleyk3602]

I'm not married, and I don't have children at 30. However, Ayesha's comments completely resonated with me. We ARE conditioned to place our value with the male gaze. It's hard to see past that constructed viewpoint sometimes. Thanks for a very thoughtful video.

[@MzSoulll]

ugh...and i've been tryna be set free from it. ain't easy tho.

[@laurencameron3150]

RedRose7997 THANK YOU! She’s married wanting to feel like she’s still got it with other men? For what? Why? I honestly don’t get it! If she were going through a divorce, cool! If she were single, cool? But she’s married!! Why? 😂

[@haggisa]

RedRose7997 “Married people are expected to change their behaviour and recondition themselves to focus on their marriage.” According to who? You? Some arbitrary rule book your pastor recommended to you? People don’t really change, just because they say “I do.” They still want outside validation, because that is human. Humans like to feel appreciated, liked, even admired. And I’m fairly certain you’re no different. Or do you get outraged, when a guy winks at you at a bar, instead of feeling fleetingly wanted or complimented? Honestly, this high and mighty, rigid way of thinking of religious nutjobs like you makes me nauseous. Stop projecting your own narrow minded views on other people. It makes you look like an alien, who doesn’t understand human psychology.

[@tpryor6474]

I don’t understand how feminist complain about the “male gaze” yet sit here and champion Ayesha and agreeing with her that the male gaze is nice to have. It’s contradictory in every sense.

[@reimourrpower9357]

@@tpryor6474 Curry (and too many women) want "male gaze" on demand and have guy groupies at her disposal like her husband while getting Michelle Obama respect at the same time. As the Rolling Stones said "you can't always get what you want..."

[@KariFromYoutube]

Basically men respect her husband but women have no respect for her...

[@madeleineeig4178]

people have a history of bashing celebrities SO bc they either want to be the SO, or want the celebrity to be with someone else

[@avawilliams5827]

Yup. Sad.

[@oshin33anika]

Perfectly said.

[@timmtamzz]

Thank you so much. Honestly, I've been really struggling with feminism and social justice communities because there's a complete disconnect of how to deal with something that was wrong. That we don't have to be nice in expressing our distaste, but the anger and outrage has to be commensurate with the offense, YES. I'm tired of the lateral violence and people acting like anyone who says something not pro-feminist no longer deserves any empathy and we can treat them like shit and honestly bully them. Thank you for this

[@TNDCBaby]

Right! There are no tiers and levels to this stuff. I know it's simply that the negativity rises to the top and gets picked up the most in stories but damn.

[@DeCurtaRican]

Tama Sake : But Ayesha’s comments are COMPLETELY feminist and all about control! She either A) doesn’t want men but wants the option to reject them to feed her ginormous ego, or B) Is a hypergamous b*tch who wants to choose another man as a backup now that she has secured the bag from Steph - a man who has done nothing but love her and provide her with the greatest life ever. The other option is that she C) Is so consumed with jealousy of her own husband, because of her failed acting career, that she subconsciously wants to wreck his life. Sampson & Dahlia plays out every day! How is that “non-feminist?” Regardless, she is woman wanting to claim control and manipulate men to her own advantage AFTER she has essentially used a rich one for his money. GRFOHWTBS I am really beginning to actually HATE women. For men, looking at women is almost like looking at cow guts these days. It almost makes me nauseous.

[@TNDCBaby]

@@DeCurtaRican nothing that you said is about feminism. It's all just dislike of her behavior none of which falls under the definition of feminism. All of your points are weird made up conclusions with very little roots in fact or anything that she's said. It must be because i don't follow her but man y'all have some real negative emotions about this stranger.

[@timmtamzz]

@@DeCurtaRican My comment has little to nothing to do with the actual Ayesha situation. It's about taking punishment too far and using feminism as a mask to inflict violence on others, like "cancel" culture.

[@madeleineeig4178]

@@timmtamzz and for young girls like myself, it shows us that this is what we should be doing, and this is how to do it, which is dangerous.

[@adi-qf2wb]

I thought i was the only one surprised by people being upset at a mother of 3 with an internationally famous husband wants to feel like shes still sexy.

[@Wifeyedition]

Analyn Marx by getting validation from other men? Yeah it’s sooooooo confusing

[@Troy_Johnson]

What if a man said the same thing

[@franslam7398]

*nationally famous. I'm from the UK and have never heard of him.🤷🏾‍♀️ But then again that might just be me lol. I heard he's a basketball player(?). Basketball isn't big outside the States.

[@bethechangeusee]

@@franslam7398 lol nah hes internationally famous tbh. that was slick shade tho!

[@cosodesign8953]

Sorai Max honestly people like you are the ones that sound insecure. Like god forbid someone wants to feel attractive and wanted. It’s normal for people to want to be wanted even outside of the relationship. What makes it wrong is when people cross the line and cheat physically or emotionally. This weird relationship ideal that people like you are putting on her and Steph is so unrealistic and unhealthy. People are more than their partnerships. They are still individuals. Also you and I will probably NEVER know what it’s like to be in her position.

[@ChrisBrooks34]

I watched the clip and Ayesha's feelings made complete sense to me, we have this habit of desexualizing women when they become mothers. As though all the emotions and desirws they had previously are suddenly not a part of them anymore. Because you're a mother you have to check a different box and that is a feeling that you sometimes can't express it's always present. After motherhood a women's sexuality doesn't cease to exist and it wrong that we treat it as such as a society.

[@christinag1998]

How is that our problem though. Beyoncé has 3 kids and she’s still seen as a sex symbol. Ayesha believes a Christian woman shouldn’t be scantally clad in clothing to steer away unwanted attention that’s not from her husband. It doesn’t make sense for her to stand by that belief yet still want to receive accolades from men that supposedly don’t matter to her.

[@leviloveserwin1809]

Men can still think a woman who is covered up is sexy lol. I don’t think she desexualized herself...society just thinks that women wearing less is sexy. She just wants some attention because she is insecure. Literally everyone on the planet feels this way at some point even when your in a relationship or married. The truth is too much for some. I like the girls honesty.

[@christinag1998]

Levi Loves erwin I’m not saying it doesn’t happen but why should I feel bad for her when she has everything that any woman or man can dream of? I honestly think she should have told her husband that she feels that way, instead of hurting him on national tv with what she said.

[@Belihoney]

She wiped that image out for herself though lol

[@brieoliver]

@@christinag1998 She did tell her husband. Some of yall are so quick to attack her you've not actually LISTENED to what she's said and why.

[@joefernandez8008]

Honestly, of all the KZbin videos where people discuss social issues, your comment section is so above the rest in terms of helpful, thoughtful, and respectful dialogue. It’s so refreshing to see people having nuanced discourse instead of just bashing each other. This is my 10+ video of yours I’ve watched and I’m always so impressed by that and you should get a lot of credit for setting the right tone for your viewers to follow.

[@phdgirl2016]

“Feminists in the street...But we’re still afraid of being unchose - we want to be beautiful, we want to be partnered.” That’s it. The layers. The complexities. We are all working through this.

[@skylar_kada]

But being a feminist simply mean wanting equality for men and women. It doesn’t have to mean a life alone if you want to be in a relationship. That’s the thing, some women and men find joy in relationships and some aren’t particularly bothered either way. Wanting to be chosen or wanting to be wanted is a common human emotion, it’s normal and okay and it’s a good thing to be vulnerable about it. This has little to do with feminism and everything to do with ones perception of oneself.

[@elmoworld850]

@Lyricmelodies It will happen when mgtow becomes a thing.

[@Borntowinosborne]

It's hilarious feminist cant even see the hypocrisy in their own ideologies.... this is what yall wanted.... men aren't approaching anymore.... Ya'll campaigned for less male attention and were too dumb to realize the implications of it. Maybe yall will figure it out once strip clubs, porn, and gold digging get destroyed by feminism.

[@dorcaswg5726]

I totally agree people are vilifying her for feeling a normal human emotion and it’s messed up. Everyone regardless of gender or anything of the sort wants to feel desirable and attractive at some point in their life. You want to feel like you’ve “still got it”.Like people want to people to be “honest” and “real” but the moment they open up and actually are honest about what they really feel people turn on them smh. This is why a lot of times I just end up being silent and just observe instead.

[@sjlewis271]

@@norbertomaya790 Ok...but you don't have to and nobody asked you to. 😒

[@smartlikewoah]

@@norbertomaya790 agree with Ayesha? What is there to agree or disagree about? She's just simply stating her feelings of insecurity.

[@burhohdzc2809]

She is expressing no loyalty right here and right there.

[@PortraitofAsha]

So true. People can't handle the truth

[@eevaluecom]

@@norbertomaya790 and nobody is asking you to. Let ppl have personalities and opinions of their own without using it to make them "lesser" ppl

[@jessel4life]

3 kids hits different when you dont have Curry money. Lol Edit: Ladies, it 👏🏾 is 👏🏾 a 👏🏾 joke 👏🏾. In the beginning Kim talks about not being able to imagine having 3 kids at her current age, which is close to Ayesha's, so is mine. I agreed, and my joke references that. My word, calm down.

[@Jackie-md8zs]

Lolololol I was thinking the same thing!!!

[@zenfulkatoria]

Miss Rose yes!

[@tamaracharese]

Absolutely! Magnified

[@priscillelikum2742]

Not to me. You were Pregnant and gave BIRTH 2 more times after the first one?! I applaud all mothers😂😂

[@amberallure5271]

Not if you marry the right man!

[@lovelylei7748]

I got told I’d never keep a man or get married bc I said I empathize with Ayesha. She’s a woman and individual before a married woman. She’s gonna have her feelings/emotions regardless of her situation and status.

[@ga9100]

Are you married or have a man?

[@lovelylei7748]

George Frazier yes I’m in a relationship

[@theuncensoredaboriginal]

Elise Thomas tell him u still want to wanted by other men and see how he responds? He will never trust u again ijs

[@lovelylei7748]

חניבעל אלוה עברי PHAROAH BTL PRODUCTIONS my man understands and knows how I am so if I ever say that I can tell you that’s false 🤷🏽‍♀️

[@theuncensoredaboriginal]

Elise Thomas I can say with all certainty he doesn't trust u or really agrees 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@honeytantv]

Do y'all remember those don't be an Amber be an Ayesha posts and memes? I suspect because Ayesha's public image has been weaponized to shame women. Some women are reacting to men's misogyny in pedastling Ayesha instead of Ayesha as a person. They finally got that chance to "get back" at her when the culprit is actually misogyny that they have a problem with.

[@DorothyDandridge]

Well said 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽💯

[@steff6146]

I really agree with this!!

[@mermaidtingzzz]

Perfectly said!

[@ToyaRR]

Beautifully written. You are very right. They are making her wrong for something she had no control of. Personally I did not have a problem with Ayesha's tweet 4 years ago. I just took it as her stating HER preference in clothing.

[@RheaLady]

Spot on. You are absolutely right.

[@archerrising9947]

I've experienced this before as a gay male. My partner would always get hit on at clubs, but I wouldn't. It made me feel insecure about who I was but things change

[@gummybear302]

My best friend is white passing and always gets more attention including from gay men. It bothered me even more if it was men of color. I realized it’s because so many folks value Eurocentric beauty standards in comparison to the non conventional (beauty traits associated with people of color). This encouraged and helped to de-base my validation from others. And I know now my self worth isn’t contingent on people with Eurocentric ideals. I’m so thankful that I don’t fit into what they find beautiful.

[@stew8684]

Frida Kahlo was it your race or is your best friend more attractive than you

[@sophiabraymen8544]

Same, I'm a lesbian and my gf is bi. She's a lot more feminine and conventionally attractive than I am, so girls are always hitting her up and it makes me feel kinda awful sometimes.

[@ssissigui8846]

@steph brody! Was that comment necessary? Truly missed the point!

[@Kala_S]

Frida Kahlo beautifully said

[@ShamanSquirrel]

I really hated that people twisted her words to make it seem like she wanted all these men chasing after her. 🙄 I'm like yall really didnt know what she meant?

[@keiranmorrisart]

Its exactly what she meant, what did you hear her say

[@phil6731]

Seemed like she wanted the same attention that Steph is getting. Why does she want that attention when Steph doesn't even give a time of day to the groupies? She really cares about attention from random strangers when she has a man who loves her?

[@phil6731]

@@frijofrojsdeern9545 she still said she wants the same type of attention that Steph gets 🤷🏾‍♂️ you can't be scared to lose your husband and then be wanting that same type of attention that you think might risk you losing a husband.

[@phil6731]

@@frijofrojsdeern9545 realistically speaking there will always be one partner who will always be the more desirable between the two. I think Ayesha must realise she can't have it both ways, you can't have a extremely successful partner and also be the more or equally desirable partner.

[@phil6731]

@@frijofrojsdeern9545 and tbh the more desirable partner in this case doesn't even care about that less desirable partner nonsense bro have you seen how that mans looks at her after each and every game? Always showing her affection. Bruh Ayesha needs to stop caring about all this extra shit and focus on what she has.

[@As_told_by_daiha]

I really don’t see anything wrong with what she said. She’s insecure and any woman in her position would be. I see basic women living basic lives going crazy over their man. People just want to take something and run with it

[@FaithPeach]

Speaking of the “Princess Path”...several months down the road, I’m reminded of another story: Meghan Markle and her brief but candid remarks on how hard it’s been for her since becoming a royal. She was willing to share that and afterward, we get the Wendy Williams of the world saying “I don’t feel bad for you.” 😒

[@Sasha0406]

I didn’t understand the backlash either. Mostly, she probably does not get approached by men due to their respect for Steph. People see their relationship and respect it. I don’t think it has anything to do with her desirability.

[@JVonD88]

Sasha0406 the men are too busy getting Steph’s autograph. So he gets all the male attention too lol

[@jessicat2304]

Sasha0406 that’s sad. That you only get respect from men based of who you’re with and not just to respect her as an individual.

[@JVonD88]

Jessica T well if they knew she was single she’d get the weird pickup line 100% of the time. Probably for the best she’s with steph. At least she can rest in nobody talking to her sideways.

[@NoName-sp5dp]

@@JVonD88 not even if she was single. Men approach married women all the time, it's only because of WHO she marries

[@jessicat2304]

Jessica Durant I was responding to original post and my response wasn’t so literal. It was meant to be satirical and sarcastic because the original comment said men only respect Ayesha because she is steph wife . That’s a patriarchal comment. My thing is . Why can’t women get respect as independent beings and not base off of who she is attached to?

[@gfunkin2]

Ayesha Curry gets male attention I'm sure. Just not the type that she wants. But yes, at the end of the day, she was just speaking her truth and being vulnerable. I don't get the backlash.

[@ND001X]

gfunkin2 A married woman wants attention from other men and you don’t see the problem???! Imagine if a guy said that. Women would crucify him. She’s already thinking about other men if she hasn’t cheated already. He should leave her now.

[@user-lz3kr5pc7x]

John Smith Not how that works "John"

[@melteddarkchocolate000]

@@user-lz3kr5pc7x when then act oblivious to the backlash then. double standards and hypocrisy, two words.

[@gfunkin2]

@@ND001X Sounded to me like she just wanted to know that she "still had it" in the same way that he is constantly affirmed that he's still got it. No actions beyond that required. Your mindset comes from an ancient view that is dishonest about desire. Just because a man is married doesn't mean his eyes don't wander. Ditto for women. But there's a reason why there is no male equivalent of a chastity belt.

[@E_MZ_]

gfunkin2 does nobody remember when she was talking about the importance of modesty and how she wasn’t putting her cookies out there? And now she’s crying bc she’s not getting attention. Girl bye.

[@artbypg]

"feminist in the streets and pick me in the sheets" Whooo! A word!

[@b1stintellectualfba666]

😂😂😂

[@ESimms]

Amen!

[@LaCreshiaify]

Beyond the Ayesha Curry, I am definitely here for more empathy and anti-cancellation, rehabilitation, and reconciliation, within the Black community. We need to figure out how to heal, transfer the harm. We are hurt people who were never given proper tools to address the interpersonal and internal dilemmas we are now realizing.

[@FaithPeach]

LaCreshiaify I know I’m late but this was beautifully expressed and so true. ❤️

[@anandalux4774]

Excellent take! This conversation is so nuanced and complex, but it's being simplified by bitter women and insecure men who were triggered by her comments. Bravo!

[@TonPlatFavori]

Offended, not triggered, otherwise yes I agree

[@latoyagriffin1410]

💯❗

[@Littlenik]

@@TonPlatFavori no its triggered because why would they be offended.

[@Jade808]

Exactly!

[@animenerd453]

@@Littlenik Are you serious about that? So people don't get offended anymore only triggered? You need to be on the internet a little less.

[@chrisfarmer6893]

I think what Ayesha really did, the real reason she got so much backlash, is that women are supposed to not just make ourselves attractive for men, and seek validation from men, but most importantly we must NOT complain about it! We absolutely can not talk about how it makes us feel, or how hard it is to live like that, or how our lives could be better if we didn't have this burden. But she spoke up about it, instead of dealing in silence like a good suffering woman who does everything for a man and never opens her mouth. Like you said, there's no way to win under patriarchy. If you even talk about how it affects you, you're breaking the rules and need to be punished. I think the backlash was really internalized misogyny.

[@lovinliverpool]

Yes exactly we're not supposed to say it but it's still there. Honesty and vulnerability is not encouraged.

[@tbg6070]

Just shut the hell up. Y’all try to make everything about feminism to absolve yourself of due accountability: the reason she got backlash is that she’s basically trying to undermine her marriage by indulging cheap feelings. You have 3 kids and you want random men to holla/flirt with you in the streets as if they didn’t see that? As if men were mere toys for your ego? Fuck that noise and fuck you! If Steph had said “my woman gets tagged as woman goal and I barely get women in th locker room trying to suck my dick” y’all would be losing it. But keep running that rationalization hamster

[@123weedie]

@@tbg6070 .. . Who hurt you?

[@cristinarivera5707]

This is all misogyny. People think wanting to feel like they still got it is disrespectful to your partner. As if you’re there property and your feelings automatically become void.

[@cristinarivera5707]

ENY Chica This backlash toward her has really opened my eyes to how jealous, insecure and immature people are. Not only that but some people have really f*cked up ideals about marriage and romantic relationships. People think that because someone is married or has children that they aren’t supposed to be individuals anymore or have any negative feelings especially women. All this backlash is because women are deeply envious of Ayesha and want what she has and that’s why they’re pissed. In there heads they think that if they were married to a rich cute basketball player that they would be eternally happy and life would be perfect. No a rich handsome man and cute kids is not the guaranteed key to a perfect existence. People become enraged when you tell them this because they really want to believe that if they find the perfect man all their insecurities will go away and it scares the shit out of them because that means they have to work on themselves.

[@hllrygldsmth]

I simultaneously got chills and teared up when you said, "I choose empathy." I'm a poor college student but I'm a patron in my heart.

[@ayanna6327]

"I choose empathy." That is the right approach in my opinion. With the way I heard people talking about Ayesha, I thought she actually cheated on Steph lol. When I actually watched the clip, I didn't see what all the fuss was about. She feels the same way a lot of women (and even men) feel. People are saying that because Steph is someone who cherishes her, she shouldn't feel that way, but sometimes it goes deeper than something a solid marriage can solve.

[@pha2traore]

I think she just doesn't notice. She's BEAUTIFUL! She's probably too busy worrying about her kids and her man to notice the looks.

[@HeirOfGlee]

you notice as a woman

[@TirraOmilade]

fat2 traore Agreed!!! She is sooooo gorgeous!

[@ceecollette6708]

I also think men have a habit of showing more respect to women who "belong" to men they admire/are cool with, so they likely don't express the attraction. I can't believe in 10 years literally no one (who's unfamiliar with them) hasn't tried a LITTLE flirtation lol

[@saint_silver]

Also she gravitates in circles where young beautiful women are, and I mean being beautiful and young is their job. I cannot imagine how hard it must be for the self-confidence

[@ND001X]

Cee Cee Because men don’t want a LITTLE of Steph Curry’s crew breaking their foot of your ass!

[@k.alvarado6237]

Like someone else commented. Men don’t approach because they have respect for her husband, not because she’s not attractive. Any woman married to a public ally powerful man will experience this.

[@theuncensoredaboriginal]

K Aaron Honestly we don't know who is doing what and all that respect shit is bs...I'm pretty sure she get looks just not from the ones she wants it's a common thing with women. U see she always been in the spotlight so the average dude ain't hitting that but a guy on Steph level start checking for her then things might change

[@SeeYaLove-lh3db]

Yeah can you imagine anyone trying to hit on Beyonce cause she's really attractive but i doubt men try to hit on her

[@mirithilrose54]

Kim, I LOVE your robe!!! Being 44 years old, single and no kids, I wish I had been less pick-me when I was younger. In my circle of friends there was always this unspoken competition for attention from guys. In stead, I could have been more supportive and help lift my friends up. I'm not going to put blame on my friends. Instead, I'm going to own up to my part in it. Especially because I've been single for quite some time now. It used to be one of my fears when I was younger. Turns out it's not as bad and I'm pretty happy. It's the opposite of the princess narrative, that Ayesha did nothing but poke a hole in. Many of us are taught to believe that if you don't have a man, you're going to be very unhappy. What it gave me is time to learn to love myself, be independent and support my friends.

[@jusletursoulglobaby]

strange thing.... I grew up in a small town with TONS of single women (some divorced, widowed, some never married) and they led the BEST lives (in the eyes of a 12-18 yo). I never felt that. It was totally against the tradition and it allowed me to feel secure in navigating relationships and life. I cant imagine that fear but it reads as..... terrifying. Glad you saw the light.

[@VibeWithVida]

I love this ❤️

[@esperancenyirashimwe7006]

Girl you are an inspiration for young black girls like me, so thank for that

[@StinaBaby1221]

So my initial thoughts My only issue with Ayesha is that she’s actively contributed to the toxicity that judges women based on the perceived level of sexuality, when the spotlight started creeping their way. But now that she’s reached a level of exposure she somewhat expected (dare I say hoped) for herself to be ranked amongst the very women she made seem/feel a certain type of way. My final thoughts: I don’t know shit

[@Social_Pugatory]

Stina Baby21 This is what I’m saying. The dragging was because she was very “pick me” and respectability politics but I feel for the most part it was jokes and memes reflecting back to the opinions she used to share in 2015 but some people went too far with it.

[@icygrl4792]

Exactly how I feel about this! It's quite hilarious, actually.

[@AlphabetSoup123]

Honestly, I don’t think sis knows what she wants. One moment, she’s shaming other women for seeking attention based on how they dress and now she’s trying to understand why she can’t be sexualized too. I get this Kumbayah moment we’re all trying to have around her, but Ayeesha reads like a woman that is a closet mean girl and constantly wants to garner sympathy and attention from others. I want to like her, but she stays putting her foot in her mouth and then acting surprised that folks misread her intentions.

[@maryriver2311]

Exactly!! Not only that, Ayesha seems sheltered, young-minded, and ungrateful. I in no way relate to her. Why Jada even asked that question was beyond me. No wife is ever happy with other women coming after their man. I was expecting Ayesha to talk about how secure she is in her marriage because that is the image she has gone with since she’s been in the spotlight. She’s seeking validation in such a disgustingly vain way that I don’t sympathize with her. She could easily build a brand outside of being a wife & mother which would probably bring her so much more of what she’s needing at this stage in her life.

[@StinaBaby1221]

Yess

[@AJ-cq5pw]

Side note: I looovvveee your braids!

[@joanzak7730]

I was literally just saying this to my fiancé, women are taught that your biggest asset is your looks. I totally understand why she is insecure

[@bellelagirl]

" 0 male attention" - so her partner is not stepping up and giving her the love & attention she needs. How are people not picking this up? Meanwhile, she says he is friendly and enjoys the female attention he gets!

[@seunesther]

This!!

[@MultiCountrygrl]

This is so true.

[@TheLowCarbSweetSpot]

Now I want to get braids again. You look beautiful, sis.

[@kims3797]

People have this illusion that once you are a married women all your insecurities go away. Its unrealistic what people are expecting from this girl. How dare she like some type attention. Hell we all do married, single in a relationship. A man just attacked because I understood what she meant. I think it’s just a lot of jealous people ready to be fake offended and attack this girl.

[@Sunshine4]

Of course people think that, once you get married the insecurities disappear. My theory: any dating advice website tell you “you are single because you don’t know yourself, you are insecure. Good relationships need secure people who know themselves. “ Aww snap you mean married or couples folks HAVENT figured it out?! Haha. I’m so sick of that narrative that single means lost and married/coupled means you understand yourself. It’s all up to chance.

[@janelleguild3866]

@@Sunshine4 This is such a great way of articulating the ways in which relationships or lack thereof can come about. It really is all up to chance.

[@ashylarry8479]

It smacks of condescension which is why I think some folks are in their bag. No one is vilifying her for speaking her truth, but for every action, there is going to be a reaction; you can say what you want, but that does not automatically mute others from having a countering view. What she said was something that was probably best kept at home between the two rather than made public for the world to see. How is he supposed to feel about what his wife said on national tv? I have dated people who looked way better than me/had their stuff in order more than me and vice versa. I understand the sense of insecurity when you with someone who is getting way more looks than you, but (luckily) my exe's picked up on it and tempered things and I did the same when the shoe was on the other foot.

[@riddickj16]

Ashy Larry nice comment

[@TNDCBaby]

@@ashylarry8479 He is supposed to feel however he feels. He probably wishes that his view of her was enough to boost her but he seems like the kind of dude he gets where she's coming from and not take it too personally. Why not make it public? Why have to hide things that so many others feel and can lead to constructive dialogue if we allow it? People actually are villifying her for speaking her truth when they say things like"she said was something that was probably best kept at home between the two rather than made public for the world to see".

[@djbluejazz7349]

When u start envying your spouse and passively and/or aggressively competiting with them, that is a serious problem. Alot of folks don't want to admit. That's when u need to start reflecting on why you choose ur partner in the 1st place. Insecurity is a mug but u shouldn't use ur partner as an excuse for ur insecurity.

[@ShannonsBibleStudy]

That's the best comment I've seen on this matter.

[@KonvosWithKee]

I posted something similar to this on Facebook earlier this week. It’s so sad when ones spouse is Jealous and envious of them. You will spend the rest of your days proving to and comforting that persons insecurities. Is it really worth it? She’ll never be able to catch up to him, and in the long run, that’s only gonna make her more resentful. Prayer and discernment are so important before giving your heart to anyone. Smh.

[@riddickj16]

God damn 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾. I wish I can shake your hand 🙂

[@rocinadelossantos3479]

It’s not necessarily being jealous of your spouse. She’s at a level where shes the same age as her husband they’re both attractive and famous and she notices people don’t really approach her as much and it makes her feel insecure like maybe there’s validity in them being turned off. It’s not a competition it’s just an observation that makes her insecure

[@darthchocolate5190]

Feminist in the streets but "pick me" in the sheets 😂😂😂...I'm glad I watch you for gems like that Kim!

[@marilorenzo2582]

If a women chooses to be modest or not , either way women should respect women because we should lift each other up against misogynistic ideals push towards modest women or not

[@Hoosierontherun]

Amen!

[@marilorenzo2582]

Afifa M you can force ppl to be modest or not it’s a choice they make as a women

[@kimmyball4961]

People are freaking insane! Every one of these women dragging her has felt some form of this. If they say they haven't, they are lying!!!! As far as tweets.....I don't tweet, ever!! This is exactly why. I know I've had some very shady thoughts from time to time. Who has never thought mean or hateful things?? Once again if they say Never, they are lying!! This is so ridiculous!!

[@mermaidtingzzz]

Thisnis exactly why I want no parts of a personal social medi acct. If anything I'd use one for business. People take things entirely too far and I too admit I've wanted to start an acct just to clap back at people, but that would still be draining my own positivity, and isn't ultimately that's more precious than any momentary gratification I'd get from being a smart ass lolol.

[@ga9100]

So as a white person u would tell the world ur personal business like that if so that's shocking

[@spazz-ok9nr]

Speaking for men most of us don't lie about insecurities in particular self esteem based on appearance. The problem we see with her comments are .... your suppose to have already dealt with that one. And were not dumb enough to believe that the fix for this particular insecurity is via others showing attention. Then on the backside men recognize that if one were dumb enough to believe that others could help fix this insecurity that it dam sure not be attention given by any other men but her husband.

[@bouncyclouds276]

"it just don't make sense for me, to be attacking you when you're hurting from the same stuff that's hurting me" damn

[@veearce3384]

Patriarchal Patty? Oh my, I'm learning today...

[@msnewsenior]

People are not vilifying Ayesha. They are merely mentioning the fact that she once shamed other women for their clothing choices and now it appears she was merely projecting her insecurities on to them.

[@Social_Pugatory]

She gave black men a weapon to lash black women now the lash has switched hands. 🗣She’ll fucking live! It’s just a meme’able moment for the innanets(Twitter). They’ll be over it by next red table talk, I SWEAR TO YALL!

[@Mabasei]

msnewsenior even if she was why would you weaponoze that against another woman? Like it was one tweet.

[@Social_Pugatory]

And if we are gonna give Ayesha this leeway and leniency from criticism (Dragging) because she acknowledges her trauma then we should do the same thing for EVERYONE male or female that does and says trash things but also acknowledges their traumas. The next time Charlemagne or someone says something problematic and a video is posted vilifying him I’m gonna be in the comments like “What about Ayesha?” “What about Charlemagne’s trauma?” “It’s not Charlemagne’s fault, it’s the society he was socialized in.” Criticism forces you to learn. Sometimes the Dragging works. That’s why it’s called being vulnerable; because you’re revealing your weaknesses and shortcomings to the world and the internet of ALL places. Of course their are gonna be draggers. 🤷🏾‍♂️

[@msnewsenior]

Mabasei Ummm Her tweeting that mess caused it to be weaponized against women that are not thought to be acceptable by societal standards. Then when she realized that this was going on, she tweeted out a lame half assed oops my bad.

[@msnewsenior]

Mabasei She attacked numerous women with that tweet and now wants those same women to sympathize with her, only those women don’t have the benefit of having her visibility, status or platform to speak out and defend themselves.

[@stevielystrange]

"Reconciliation and rehabilitation are really critical, particularly in a society that incentivizes disposal." Holy hell that's such a good way to put it!

[@tianadodson3088]

THIS: "what it means to find yourself outside of your attachment to a man"

[@FabalociousDee]

My problem is not with what Ayesha Curry said, because human beings are nuanced and complex. You don't stop wanting to be sexy or beautiful just because you're conservative, a wife or a mother. But she herself forgot that being a sexual, liberal and/or attractive woman doesn't stop you from wanting to be loved or to love others either. And her forgetting that was used by men to shut us down. Does she or others like her have the same empathy for those on the other side as people are currently showing for her? I have to wonder.

[@MsSab28]

Fabalocious Dee exactly!

[@nightowl8477]

Jeez, people took this way too far. They'll use anything to make a point regardless of the context. She was openly showing her emotions, and she got shamed for it. Politics aside for a second, that isn't decent human behaviour.

[@z3nkin]

That's how most people are in the black community. You cant be vulnerable and Express themselves without being shame for it

[@thotcrimez4252]

But she sure also didn’t come out and talk about men using her as a beat stick to judge other women...

[@Social_Pugatory]

Siramad Backwards Yea when she shared those opinions men weaponized her as a lash to try and keep other black women in line.

[@babyjki444]

right. i am unmoved by this whole situation. boo hoo.

[@animec-dramaskpop6362]

How is that her fault?

[@Social_Pugatory]

afro curly girl Because that was her intention. To distinguish herself from “Those trashy women over there”. So it’s her fault.

[@animec-dramaskpop6362]

@@Social_Pugatory We gotta agree to disagree bc I blame to ppl who weaponized her opinion not her.

[@zenfulkatoria]

Exactly people are allowed to be sociopaths online....sadly it’s an indicator of how broken many of us are.

[@theuncensoredaboriginal]

Katoria H true just a like married women that want attention from other men 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@kimboslice1356]

OK. So normally I avoid opinion vids because of how minimized, one-sided and shallow the analyses tend to be, but girl, well done. Your exploration of this issue is insightful, wise, compassionate and presented in full reverence of the human condition. I celebrate you and your voice!

[@TributesAndUnique]

1) Let’s stop basing our worth based on our appearance PERIOD. We’re never going to end this if we keep having this mindset. 2) I see a lot of women being bashed for being dressed modestly. Let’s just all mind our business with what others wear 3) I wish I was invisible to ugly guys

[@Frivolitility]

I want you to look at #1, and at #3, and really study and compare them. Notice anything?

[@TributesAndUnique]

Hari Narayan Khalsa Except for its always ugly guys that give me creepy comments

[@AceTrainerJason]

@@Frivolitility Yeah that's a yikes, don't base worth on appearance but then she does it in the next breath

[@msgirly6827]

@@Frivolitility 😂😂😂expose

[@Shadows-FX]

Hari Narayan Khalsa 👏🏾👏🏾I caught that too. The level of hypocrisy in the mentality of women these days. They are walking double standards.

[@madant22]

Men respect Steph Curry so much most men don't wanna try his wife because they look at Steph as a Basketball God. He is basically what every man wants to be. Sports legend, nice wife no kids, not cheating well men don't wanna be with that part. But that is another main factor what is the reason why no men ain't looking at Ayesha Curry like that. Along with her conservative dressing compared to other IG models or your KIm K's Black Chynas. Ppl need to take men's strong respect for Steph into consideration.

[@Sasha0406]

I agree 💯 with you. It’s mostly out of respect for Steph. Men respect him enough not to step to his wife. I think that’s a good thing.

[@MooseImoose]

I completely agree, if Steph wasn't her husband, men would perceive her very differently

[@madant22]

@@Sasha0406 exactly u never see any one stepping to Jordan Wife or LeBron's wife. any solid man or black man most men look up too or respect genuinely. They not gonna step to his wife. Black Guys like Offset, Joe Budden, Safari, Tyga, , Bow Wow, Soulja Boy, Russel Wilson. guys like them that most men don't respect. They'll step to their wife or girls. part of it is because of their women opening that door. Part of it is just them and the lifestyle they live and their accomplishments they lack their off. Scottie Pippin is an exception cause Future a far younger guy but he didn't expect it or see it coming. But sports athletes do get far more respect from other men than rappers.

[@kimmyball4961]

3 kids

[@madant22]

And you can throw Carmelo Anthony in there with black man most men use to respect but not as much. So thats why LaLa is being tried so much nowadays. Ever since she went topless on 50's power everyman went back to trying her with no regard for Carmelo just like before she met him when she was single hosting TRL. She further opened the door for that by moving slutty a little.

[@kedeeky]

Thank you. If all of these “cancel culture” and “I’m going to drag you for what you said 4 years ago” were held to that same fire, they wouldn’t know how to act. I’m glad to hear Ayesha speak her truth. I can’t imagine having to have gone through working on my insecurities while in a position as hers.

[@SlashSpitt]

I struggle with the same thought: how do we deconstruct competition when some women thrive under that system? I still don't know. Some may say "raise your kids to be better" but I don't want kids.. So what does that leave me? I mean, yeah i'll have this conversation with anyone who is willing to talk about it.. but this "competition" is silent and the opportunities to call it out in a kind & appropriate way are scarce..

[@omowhanre]

Are you an aunty? Can you mentor kids? Provide professional guidance to high school or college kids? Can you volunteer to be part of a local government or non-profit board? There are many ways, besides raising kids, to support and buildup community.

[@lnbrown0]

Her feelings are sooo valid. It reminded me of an episode of Scandal when Mellie is president and she talks about the differences in how women flocked to her ex and she can't even get a lingering glance.

[@Hoosierontherun]

"Accountability is the an essential part of a community"...That part snapppsssss this was a very honest analysis of the hypocrisy of feminism. Thank you!

[@MelonBrews]

*hypocritical feminists

[@ad2094]

Appreciate your correction

[@yiela_]

There’s a certain level of self reflection that comes with admitting things that might make us seem “pathetic” or even “desperate”. I can’t believe she admitted that. Some of us can’t even admit some basic shit to ourselves in private

[@alexandra_strelka]

19:04 "It just doesn't make sence for me to be attacking you, when you're hurting from the same stuff that's hurting me." Well said. 👏

[@Mabasei]

It feels really weird that I had this exact take even though I’m a cis bisexual black man. I guess I have that empathy because before coming out as bi to my partner and a few friends I did all the right man shit and I really did end up sorta miserable. I feel for her deeply I can’t imagine how this has affected women.

[@nkreseknowledge2241]

Helli, what is cis bisexual?

[@SpamNeggs23]

There are only two sexes, male and female... cis male...what?!

[@queenmadhatter5020]

Is a house coat different from a robe? I really like it. It looks good on you.

[@ForHarriet619]

Girl, idk. My mom just calls them housecoats. Thank you!

[@jorchdatorch842]

Yeah, I thought it was just a cute shirt before you mentioned it.

[@Mabasei]

For Harriet they the same

[@marathongirl27]

My mother and grandmother called them house coats too.

[@kimb.9205]

@@ForHarriet619 Okay a LEGIT U.S. modern women's inequality issue here: Trans girls (born male who ID as female) are competing against biologically born female athletes in high school sports. These boys(!) are crushing these girls in sports i.e. track & field, long jump etc. Of course, they are setting unattainable records that bio girls can never hope to break. Foolish liberal athletic officials are allowing this to happen. Soon a boy in lipstick will be taking your daughter's athletic scholarship. One of the latest cases was of two trans girls competing with a group of female athletes at a high school in Connecticut.

[@mpho-s13]

Who’s here from TeeNoir’s video?✋🏽✋🏽🥺🥺

[@VictoriaAntonetti]

Such important ideas! Leading with empathy is important because it leads to better conversations and it helps create an environment where people can grow and change. I also love that you mentioned you also had moments where you would pick on women who seemed to be assuming roles placed on them but how you’ve grown and changed to not do that anymore. I think if you’re passionate about change and helping others, a natural response to ignorance or actions you deem incorrect can often be anger because it helps you release the negativity but what it doesn’t do is help you help that person and people like them change. So good!

[@augustlilly]

Your embrace of nuance and empathy are such a breath of fresh air and I salute you!

[@frigiddiva1]

Thank you so much for this because I was so freaking confused about why people were coming for her so hard. She was just expressing regular schmegular feelings we all feel at some point in our lives.

[@SupernaturalLove100]

I loved this perspective, very enlightening. Her tweet did piss me off, but now I’m looking at it from a different perspective. thanks for sharing! I wish we were more compassionate towards other women rather than so aggressive and bashful.

[@lamaquinadefiesta]

just passing by to say how ive been binge watching your channel...im obsessed! you always make your point in such a structured way, i cant stop listening to what you have to say!!!! xx

[@unenthusiastic8714]

Ooh girl. I have been waiting for your opinion. 😂

[@blacksnakeproductions5875]

Society sucks. Instead of uplifting each other we're crabs in bucket. I keep my stuff to myself, work on my own issues and keep quiet.

[@paulinalibrizzi5906]

Empathy as a center of political practice... I can’t agree more 💜 infinite respect ✊ ♾

[@jarelanderson1787]

Paulina Librizzi yesssss

[@sierramorrison3425]

Wow theres so much passion and so many points made in this video. Every one of your videos are really gold

[@TirraOmilade]

Decided to see what is going on by watching your video. That is real talk by Ayesha. My husband is the most powerful of our duo...most powerful as in job. He usually gets so much more attention. I really do get what Ayesha is talking about. As I have gotten older, I don’t care. She is young and has a lot on her plate....I understand her position. Sucks that this has been turned into something against her. And just for the record...the Curry’s are neither here nor there for me. I am just saying I really do get that. You have done a great job of talking about this.

[@JohnDoe-gc1kt]

Just because you understand doesnt make it right. I wish I could have lived like hugh Hefner do you think I would tell my daughter to go after a man like him? There can be multiple people with the same stupid logic.

[@haggisa]

John Doe Heh, never have I seen such a crystal clear example of hypocrisy, as there is in your comment. Well done.

[@JohnDoe-gc1kt]

@@haggisa please elaborate

[@haggisa]

John Doe You dream of being High Hefner, yet think it would be an unacceptable/bad thing for your daughter to be with Hugh Hefner. Therefore you clearly believe there are separate standards, that should be set for men and women. Ergo, you’re a hypocrite.

[@JohnDoe-gc1kt]

@@haggisa you clearly cant read go read my first statement again. I said I wish not I dreamed I could live like hugh Hefner. The difference? I make my dreams come true. By the way my statement wasnt hypocrisy the fact that I would love two women sucking my dick at the same time but wouldn't want my daughter doing it is. I completely admitted it was a hypocritical that's the point I know it's wrong because I would never encourage it.

[@lavinder11]

She's incredibly insecure and has a history of using her ring and "class" to look down on women her husband will likely cheat on her with. The (constant) backlash for Ayesha stems from that.

[@Mabasei]

lavinder11 Cote another time she did this please.

[@vonnii1013]

I can see that aka the caveat......I was saying something similar when she made the confession....and I felt like she low key wants to be a sex symbol....but she doesnt want to be over sexualized

[@dnycebushton5008]

@@vonnii1013 have to be sexy first

[@DeCurtaRican]

lavinder11 : I once thought Ayesha was the ideal wide. Now I have lost all respect for her.

[@nocap8881]

Bitter AF 😂

[@Ruvieb]

Why can't we acknowledge her past tweets that showed a disdain for other women and their choices without dismissing them as just being tweets? We wouldn't be so nonchalant about it if it had been some black man talking shit about dark skin black women 4 years ago, or someone being racist. Why now is it just a tweet?

[@ForHarriet619]

I believe people are intentionally overstating the harm caused by this tweet because they do not like what this woman represents. Yes, it was just a tweet.

[@iamlaurengill]

For Harriet I disagree. I believe folks were actually offended because they heard stuff like that before where they have been shamed. Do I think Ayesha was trying to be harmful? No. Does intent negate impact? No.

[@Ruvieb]

@@ForHarriet619 All tweets are just tweets. Doesn’t stop people from reacting and discussing what was said regardless of the outlet. What you communicate to people always plays a factor in how they receive your words later. So why is it an overstatement that people would recall and apply what she’s said in the past to what she’s saying now if it’s relevant? I believe that what she said recently was valid and understandable, and there are definitely people who are being unfair or misconstruing her words. But I can also acknowledge that there are people with reasonable criticisms when considering her words from the past. And in all fairness, she made it clear how she felt about what other women represent. 🤷🏾‍♀️

[@beevegan6889]

For Harriet She shouldn’t have talked down on women and how they dress because of her insecurities. No one asked why do those women feel the need to dress sexy. It couldn’t have been that they just want to feel good about themselves like people are saying with her. Now she come back four years later talking about she wants the same attention . She is a married woman and an NBA wife with privilege s.Therefore , comparing herself to the everyday single woman made no sense .Keep that same pick me energy and suffer in silence because I’m not caping.

[@knowdaqueen177]

For Harriet there was a lot harm caused by the tweet. A lot of men weaponized her statements against immodest women and she relished in it because she was getting the praise and attention that she craves now. I feel like she realized that the women she shamed had what she wanted.

[@hazell1593]

My only issue with what she said is that if she did receive a lot of male attention, she would be complaining about how disrespectful these men are.

[@kimb.9205]

You are right. I think she needs an intellectual hobby! At a certain point, after you've lost your youth/looks, you need to be able to use your mind to be captivating.

[@lunayen]

No one likes to have men constantly hollering at them. But no matter what you still want someone to hint that you're pretty. That is the feeling she desires.

[@freshlybakedsporks]

Hazel L how do you know that?

[@ForHarriet619]

I made a big editing mistake in this video. Let me know when you catch it 😉 AND JOIN THE PATREON!! Patreon.com/ForHarriet

[@sleepbaby17]

I think I saw it! I think towards the end you repeated some points you have just made kind of in the same order about Ayesha's attitude not being the problem 17:28 and 17:55 . I thought the video had rewound itself lolol I was like wait, didn't she just say that? That's how tuned in I be lmao!

[@ForHarriet619]

@@sleepbaby17 You right!

[@williamsummerville1295]

I missed the editing mistake. However, your commentary was beyond premium. I never knew 20 minutes and 39 seconds would be the rarest best invested time of my life!!!

[@anuhassan5596]

@@ForHarriet619 quick question: Why is she regarded as a pick me/ patriarchal patsy just because she CHOOSES not to reveal her body and keep that for her man? What's wrong with that? No where on her tweet did she shame other women

[@mg.5968]

Yasss!!! This is exactly where I'm at. I'm so sick of cancel culture. We need to stop throwing each other away. Just because you are flawed in one area doesn't mean you have nothing of value to add to this world. This isn't a movie. Nobody is all good and nobody is all bad, yet much of our discourse approaches the world through this lens.

[@vanimaduray5473]

I wish more people thought like you. Your emphasis on empathy, and understanding the perspective of women who have different experiences than you is wonderful. I have really learnt so much from you and hope to have similar confidence sooner rather than later. Keep up the good work!

[@m0here239]

She’s not wrong and many women understood what she meant, but people (including Me) find her unlikable based on her past comments where she seemed overly confident bragging about modesty. So it was like “oh sis... you insecure now?! ...🙄😂”...I think ppl are annoyed. It’s not right though, let her live.

[@Beatrichay]

I think her tweet was more related to insecurities about the women who want a chance with her husband (said women being probably less modestly dressed) and she was really hitting back at them rather than the entire female collective.

[@teachingwithsmiles1116]

It made sense to me but Ayesha is a HUGE PICK ME. She spent too much of her time married portraying this modest look in the media.

[@joannasaadati8810]

And judging other women 🧐🧐

[@Hoosierontherun]

Ugh...that whole term "Pick me" is misogynistic in itself...criticizing a woman for her choice in embodying a traditional role...

[@Sasha0406]

What is a pick me? Just curious.

[@teachingwithsmiles1116]

@@Hoosierontherun No sis a pick me is when you put down other women to be validated by men regardless of what role you choose. I've seen women who were pick mes that were more expressive with their bodies too. It doesn't matter pick me is wrong. Men will do what they want.

[@MostHighDwelling]

There is nothing wrong with portraying modesty. It is a GREAT representation for young girls. I’d rather my daughter look up to Ayesha rather than Kim Kardashian. Thanks.

[@reallyitsjackiev.meadows7578]

Ayesha.....statement didn't bother me at all. But I did think to myself......is she complete with her husband and family and career. Why would she also need to fend off foolish attention from folks she ain't really interested in. It was just a passing thought but overall...it didn't bother me.

[@kimmyball4961]

It has absolutely nothing to do with her being happy or not with her life. It's a basic human instinct. I can't say all people have these insecurities but I'd bet my life a whole hell of a lot of them do!

[@brieoliver]

It's not about being complete. As HUMANS, we all require validation in some form. To think that suddenly goes away just because you're married doesnt make much sense. Having a spouse and children doesnt absolve you of being human and wanting to be seen as attractive.

[@djbluejazz7349]

Im feel the same way if ur looking for attention else where then maybe ur not happy with what you have.

[@Sunshine4]

Jasmine Pleasant exactly! When I am in a relationship I don’t care about other men, I don’t want to be catcalled.

[@reallyitsjackiev.meadows7578]

@@brieoliver we do and I do completely understand that. But....she literally has everything....most people want and require to have a successful life. And she still wants attention .....sexual attention....from others.....outside of her husband. She wants to know if she still "got it". She been dating the same person since she was 15yrs old. So....maybe that could be part of the reason she is feeling the way she feels also. I don't know......something about it ain't all the way right. She is married with a full family. Book deals and social media following with a cooking show. I dont understand how all of that is not enough attention.

[@ZoeAlleyne]

I have been binge watching your content for a few days before I realised I wasn't subscribed. I think I was a mean girl feminist at some point. Someone steps out and I would cancel them because it felt like...if I didn't then I become problematic. I became mean and unforgiving and unkind in order to be accepted and damn...if I didn't do that in high school why would I do it now? I don't want to be mean, I want to be positive and hope for change and that people can improve. Naturally I think that has limits, but none of us have clean hands and it is tiring. It has pushed me out of feminist spaces because I don't want to be that negative. Your videos are exactly what I need. Someone with a critical eye, an open mind and a warm heart. You are a breath of fresh air and I'm watching videos from years ago, so!

[@KillDjay]

You are quite literally my FAVORITE KZbinR bc you are the voice America needs right now. You were the voice that I needed and you're just an incredible soul who really teaches me and helps me reflect, heal and grow. I didnt think that was something I could recieve by a KZbin channel. Especially one where the person speaking has a completely different walk of life from me a Mexican, Chubby, Gay Man. You're just so powerful and I want you to know your videos make an impact and they do indeed impact me.

[@woodsfamily]

If I remember correctly, she sent that tweet in response to Kim K posting a nude photo. Not that that excuses it, but.... I felt her on RTT. Very real, very vulnerable and it is very common for married moms to sometimes feel that way. True about her getting married so early & not having time to "play the field".

[@JNYC212]

Now that would be a good conversation , are you just realizing you got married too soon? I would like to hear that RTT and ppl being honest about that and marriage and living with someone too.

[@vedlatigid]

All those folks hating on her are going to have an awakening when they get older. After a certain age, they’ll find it common for folk to discount and ignore their attractiveness on a daily.

[@TimoteoDeBaum]

Ayesha is not a deep woman at all. Very surface level and traditional since life has worked out her way.... she seems very sheltered and self-unaware.

[@deedee.796]

I agree

[@brotha_pedat]

Yes. She's actually somewhat daft.

[@AlphabetSoup123]

I think it has a lot to do with her Christian upbringing and the way in which a lot of upper middle class or upper class folks, like her parents, tend to raise their daughters to secure the bag early by getting an athlete and/or “sure thing” type of boo that they know is going to provide for them. If the woman isn’t allowed to explore herself and her interest outside of a man, as Kim said, and before having kids, she’s going to be mentally stunted most times. However, that’s not something that gets talked about a lot in our culture.

[@Lemondoor]

AlphabetSoup That is not true of MOST Christian women or how they raised. 😒

[@KariFromYoutube]

I agree

[@leeannschaffer1433]

It was not a good event that brought you into my KZbin feed, BUT I AM SO GRATEFUL that it DID!!! You are FANTASTIC FABULOUSNESS!!! I'm hooked. Could listen to you forEVER!!! Thank you!

[@thotcrimez4252]

You couldn’t imagine being rich with three kids? 😭

[@ForHarriet619]

Nope. I want 0 kids.

[@kimmyball4961]

So it's all about jealousy then??

[@kimi4581]

@@kimmyball4961 jealous of what?

[@thotcrimez4252]

@@ForHarriet619 Ok...

[@theuncensoredaboriginal]

I feel so sorry for Steph 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@TheAngelinaSummer]

I somewhat understand people giving her backlash because of the hypocritical tweet, but we got men over hear COMPLETELY misunderstanding what she said and thinking she actually wants to cheat on her husband.

[@emrosedm5939]

This video is so incredibly on point. I'm so glad I happened upon it and I think everyone needs to take these messages to heart

[@djbluejazz7349]

I don't know man society be confusing the balls out of me now a days. Shes married af, rich af, with 3 kids. Why in the world are u even worried about random dudes paying u attention? Isn't that the ultimate disrespect? Or am I just crazy?. Has she ever thought maybe they don't approach me becuz I carry myself in a way that says I don't play no mess. I know she was just being transparent but that still doesn't exempt u from pushback. Ppl don't know what they want now a days. I'm just throwin up my 👐. I just can't deal wit this bipolar as society smh

[@stoneghana4171]

Her husband doesn’t want women flirting with him but they still do it. In front of her.

[@chriswilson7288]

@@stoneghana4171 yea but he denies and pays them no mind he literally only hangs out with her , takes her out to the club and always be with her outside basketball job. hell when he first became pro everyone thought his girl was a instagram model that would be at each of his games and wearing his jersey. as soon as it started he killed that rumor. as much affection and care he shows his wife she should only care about her husband. u dont see Jayz crying about how women say he isnt attractive but only rich. and wishing he was loved by women as much as men actively praise Beyonce. same argument could be said for anyone who has a famous beautiful wife meanwhile they arent in the spot light.

[@AceTrainerJason]

I agree I think people have been overreacting. My only issue was making that public instead of addressing it with a therapist or with Steph himself. Also if you wanted to be seen in that way I'm not exactly sure why she's been cultivating this very modest holy mother image for herself. Still say the hate she is getting seems a bit ridiculous.

[@TheKhrissss]

I really appreciate your perspective on this and I love that you look at feminist issues through a lens of compassion and understand that people CAN change and that we are products of our culture. I admit I used to love a good drag but just as you said with getting older (and more mature), there are better and more effective ways to address things. A lot of feminists SAY they are about choice and people doing what makes them happy, until the choice is something they don’t personally agree with.

[@mmaolisae3675]

"I'm a feminist, and that means that I signed up to do some work". Oooh that hit me. Very well put. Makes me think on the my work, or the lack there of.

[@janedoeeyed4155]

This is such good advice. I get so hot under the collar seeing some responses and wanting to argue. Learning to look beyond the screen and empathise with the anger and hurt is behind those typed words. Thank you. Saved me emotional labor and encouraged self reflection.