I Opened Up to My Fiancé About My Past and the "Things" I Had To Do To Survive... | Reddit Updates

  Рет қаралды 21,524

ScalingStories

ScalingStories

Күн бұрын

Пікірлер: 147
@maddiemcnugget1076
@maddiemcnugget1076 Ай бұрын
This story is a serious W! - op learning from her mistakes and actions and accepting the consequences but the consequences aren’t excessively harsh - a man who is very introspective and knows his boundaries - parents who aren’t awful - the church doing what it’s supposed to do
@master11050
@master11050 2 ай бұрын
Her dad was correct. If the dude found out about it from anyone other than OP, especially after marriage, this story would not have a happy ending.
@pretzelicious4200
@pretzelicious4200 2 ай бұрын
Imagine an OP with accountability and people think OP's fam is abusive.
@TnyNS
@TnyNS 2 ай бұрын
I think most people haven’t experienced a family member fighting addiction. It’s truly heartbreaking to see someone you love whither away even after you’ve expended all energy to help them. You can’t save someone who doesn’t want to be saved. They had to give her some tough love and did what they thought was best whether right or wrong. She eventually found her way back and I’m so happy for her. Everyone was hurting in that situation.
@alexjeffrey3981
@alexjeffrey3981 2 ай бұрын
A lot of people who go down that road are doing it due to childhood trauma so it's not an unreasonable suspicion. But yeah, of course, people can also just be insanely stupid and reckless.
@brilyman
@brilyman Ай бұрын
@@alexjeffrey3981 no its not typically childhood trauma, its as simple as falling in with the wrong crowd, no trauma needs to be present, just kids thinking they know better as per usual and the parents not understanding how to parent, in turn the kid becomes a lost cause. my sister is pretty much the same as the OP from the vid, only difference is when she got kicked out after stealing for the 15th time, she never learned, she just dated dealer after dealer. sometimes people are just lost and no amount of help will matter for every OP there are countless people in the same boat, who OD then go back and do it all over again.
@alexjeffrey3981
@alexjeffrey3981 Ай бұрын
@@brilyman so your evidence for it not typically being trauma related is one anecdote? One of the most common symptoms of trauma is self medication. People take drugs to escape the pain. That's the other avenue through which people often become addicts.
@brilyman
@brilyman Ай бұрын
@@alexjeffrey3981 can you cite your sources?? or does it not matter when it comes to youur opinion? if youre gonna criticize me for not having "evidence" youu should atleast bring your own, and the reason i say it is because its not just one person, ive spoken to hundreds of homeless people, and ive worked in a rehab clinic for addicts for years, far less of the people inside these places have trauma, much more of them come from families who were well off an whose parents just didnt keep a close enough eye on their kids and who they were friends with during their teen years. if your trauma is having a busy family who earn lots of money. thats not trauma LMAO
@senorzorro1958
@senorzorro1958 2 ай бұрын
W dad, if husband found out later on I fear the worst.
@DragonLawyer
@DragonLawyer 2 ай бұрын
Heartbreaking story that actually has a pretty good ending.
@Yue_Jin
@Yue_Jin 2 ай бұрын
Not a good ending for Greg.
@andre3a___a
@andre3a___a Ай бұрын
@@Yue_Jin Why ?
@diffsnicker
@diffsnicker Ай бұрын
​@@andre3a___a statistically their marriage is likely to end in divorce because of her promiscuous past. There's a direct correlation between number of premarital sexual partners and how likely you are to get divorced, so that's why some people care about that, if you didn't know.
@cototototorra7106
@cototototorra7106 Ай бұрын
@@diffsnicker wonder if that info ever came handy to ya
@Stefan-10
@Stefan-10 2 ай бұрын
eyooo greg and ops dad are real ones. i have alot of respect for greg man, the guys life is turned upside down, faced it head on and in my opinion asked the right questions. then the dad, he told op to tell greg the truth, blamed himself for a situation he had no control over, and even got a heartattack for it. kinda hate the mom tho, first wanted to lie, then blame greg for cancelling the wedding for only substance abuse (biss you kicked your daughter out for it) and after knowing the truth, make quite a low statement towards op
@emilstvring7577
@emilstvring7577 2 ай бұрын
While not the ideal reaction, i don't think you can blame anyone for how they reacted the mom is obviously going to be more lenient with her own daughter of all, and oppositely is also going to judge her more harshly as her mother, as she holds her daughter to a higher standard than other people (like how some parents scolds their children for mistakes everyone else doesn't mind, or how some parents can see no fault with their children, even if everyone else is abhorred by what they have done) Ultimately, i don't think you can condeem the mother for being a mother, threating her own child with different standards than everyone else, but you can definitely criticise her choises for not being ideal (like OP), but far from unreasonable
@archita7944
@archita7944 2 ай бұрын
the mom seems to have slightly more traditional views, but nonetheless, she only wanted what was best for her daughter.
@jordantrombly
@jordantrombly 2 ай бұрын
@@emilstvring7577although I agree with what you said, that comment was still unnecessary regarding the whole situation from the mother
@emilstvring7577
@emilstvring7577 2 ай бұрын
@@jordantrombly Agreed, mistakes were made, maybe not "cutting contact" mistakes, but mistakes that need and probaly have been apologised for
@Yue_Jin
@Yue_Jin 2 ай бұрын
I have no respect for Greg. To stay with a woman like that the man must be extremely desperate.
@tarantulalovelace9947
@tarantulalovelace9947 2 ай бұрын
love that op knows that she isnt just a victim but also one to blame for her issues, and love that she takes accountability, and things were handled civilly on EVERYONES account, so clearly they are all good at communicating like actual fucking adults (amen for that) but like. This is just my personal opinion. That jealousy thing Greg was talking about felt kinda?? Eeehhhh?????? He wasn't violent about it which is a HUGE plus but that still felt like. Smth u gotta watch out for. OP clearly has no intentions to ever try and betray his trust again but he may misconstrue relationships with other men in OP's life if she isn't careful- not that it would lead to him being violent or anything but like. That's something to watch out for, for sure.
@razofdead
@razofdead 26 күн бұрын
Its like the idea society talk about women, she has to be virgin and “street worker” is like devil and dosent deserve love or anything… same as pornstars society put them like in “evil gross” side of the world but they forgive a rapist and killer… because the person changed but they never forget prostitute or pornstar
@nightinstarlight
@nightinstarlight 2 ай бұрын
Jesus stories like this remind me of just how bitter and untrusting of a person I can be. If I believed he ghosted me, I would have broken things off and disappeared from his life.
@Vash_Carrison
@Vash_Carrison 2 ай бұрын
Same but also, each situation is different. The scenarios and people involved can make things complicated.
@jessestuff
@jessestuff 2 ай бұрын
Same
@ibrohiem
@ibrohiem 2 ай бұрын
She should've been upfront with the guy before they went on a date. She waited until he's invested to drop a bomb on him.
@shanel4294
@shanel4294 2 ай бұрын
@@ibrohiemshe didn’t wait for anything, she wasn’t even gonna mention it. It was the dad who suggested it and thought it was a good idea. That’s something some people take to the grave
@191_keshavmishra9
@191_keshavmishra9 2 ай бұрын
And hid this fact from the next guy
@TheZombifiedFairy
@TheZombifiedFairy 2 ай бұрын
I'm glad her family and Greg are accepting her for the person she is now and not the person she was at her lowest point. It takes a very mature and mentally sound partner to stay with someone with OPs background, but to be willing to work through it with them after they omitted their history. The thing is, OP was very wrong to omit it for so long and that she should have had this discussion way before marriage talk, but I'm glad she didn't hide it completely like her mother said she should do. I do think that even if Greg left (or if he does leave because he can still decide this is too much) it would have been a learning lesson for her and she could have hopefully found/find love with someone who is understanding that not everyone has an ideal background or a conventional story.
@ArinaSarina-v2i
@ArinaSarina-v2i 2 ай бұрын
i mean, op do it to survive and her family are partly to blame for it for kicking her out. id forgive her if it was me, its not like the girl is a wh*re who did it for fun, she was forced into it.
@kaltesbier4846
@kaltesbier4846 Ай бұрын
@@ArinaSarina-v2i bullshit. She get kicked out for using drugs, she dosen´t want help, she didn't want to stop and didn't want to listen. She did drugs, she fu.. arround. There is no excuse for her desicions. she was forced into it?? you are out off your mind? No on forced her into xxx work, not one. She did, why? it was easy, for her ;).
@magelee8086
@magelee8086 2 ай бұрын
I hope there is another update of her talking about the wedding, I hope she gets her happily ever after with her family
@princesssofiyagm
@princesssofiyagm 2 ай бұрын
Finally a couple handling their issues in a mature, healthy way.
@Eteana94
@Eteana94 2 ай бұрын
It's refreshing, isn't it ?
@emmawilliams8119
@emmawilliams8119 Ай бұрын
This story honestly gets me in the heart. This is what Christian love really looks like; she’s been redeemed from her past by salvation, and her boyfriend has chosen forgiveness over resentment, as have her parents. This is really a beautiful redemption story, and I’m glad she told her parents about her past.
@natthekiwi7074
@natthekiwi7074 10 күн бұрын
This is what Christian love *should* look like. “This is what Christian love *really* looks like” falls victim to the No-true-Christian fallacy. Unfortunately Christian love doesn’t look the same for everyone even for the most well-meaning people.
@emmawilliams8119
@emmawilliams8119 10 күн бұрын
@@natthekiwi7074oof, good point 😅 Honestly thank you for calling me out
@NoxicIsgod
@NoxicIsgod 2 ай бұрын
I hope she doesn't blame herself for her dad's blood clot. It was going to happen regardless.
@Natascha_Z
@Natascha_Z 3 күн бұрын
Its a good thing that OP moved on and its a massive W for her since she managed to get clean!!! Well Done!!!
@leilahamm8597
@leilahamm8597 6 күн бұрын
Greg sounds like he has some seriously fucked up values and preoccupations, but the fact that he's aware that they're something he needs to process and contend and that he's willing to work through them for OP with speaks very well of him.
@AliothAncalagon
@AliothAncalagon Ай бұрын
Why is it always the first instinct of the mother to hide everything?
@HylianWolfMage55
@HylianWolfMage55 2 ай бұрын
The post is achieved so I cannot post a comment but this is what I would've wrote: OP, don't blame yourself for how your dad feels about this. He'll probably consider the heart attack long overdue karma for "ruining your life" and not sending you into a rehab facility. He's still reeling from the guilt of what his actions unwittingly caused. This needs time to get past. He'll either realizes that he shouldn't blame himself for a situation as complex as yours or live with the guilt for the rest of his life. Fortunately, the worst case scenario (dying of a guilt induced heart attack) was avoided.
@WeirdOmens
@WeirdOmens Ай бұрын
Honestly, everyone handled this emotional and complicatied situation amazingly, especially without the guidance of a therapist, I'm assuming. I hope OP and her family all see a family therapist and OP and their fiance see a couple's therapist still though. They all have great communication skills and emotional maturity, and they may all need some help really processing this together as well as challenging some biases or misbeliefs they may have. Wishing them all well.
@toasterdonut5849
@toasterdonut5849 Ай бұрын
Op is so much better than me ong because I would be so angry at my fiance. But i’d have the maturity to appreciate his own self awareness and maturity in realizing his own flaws and insecurities tho. But it’d still be so angry omg lol
@BrightElk
@BrightElk Ай бұрын
In a dark kind of way this is actually really romantic that he loved her after all of that and they managed to work through it.
@TheColorHopeIsBlue
@TheColorHopeIsBlue Ай бұрын
Literally what is wrong with y’all in the comments, basically implying or outright saying that Greg should have left OP and/or her parents should have disowned her because she was an addict and a sex worker.
@NG-sw3fi
@NG-sw3fi 2 ай бұрын
Unfortunately, if i was OPs bf - i would have left. Its just not worth the risk. A history like that is too terrifying.
@Furrina89
@Furrina89 2 ай бұрын
Exactly. When OP said "things I had to do to survive" I would have hoped for things beyond her control, but because of dumb choices. Points to Greg but never giving a junkie any chance. Once an addict, always an addict
@Yue_Jin
@Yue_Jin 2 ай бұрын
You mean fortunately? Only the lowest quality men would stay with her. She should have been honest from the start as well.
@MCNarret
@MCNarret 2 ай бұрын
@@Furrina89 Refusing to believe people can change and redeem themselves from mistakes suggests you have never made any mistakes, are you proud of everything you have done in your life? Perfect in every way? Or do you wish to be punished forever for them?
@michellealjunaidi8471
@michellealjunaidi8471 2 ай бұрын
​@@MCNarretanyone who has bettered themselves after making poor choices in life. They have dodged a bullet if the new person in their life leaves after knowing their whole story. The focus is to keep making your life better and not being dragged by people who live in glass houses.
@JaiMishra-e5h
@JaiMishra-e5h 2 ай бұрын
​@@MCNarret It's just perspective, he stayed as he is a good man but i as a medical student can garentee that she will have huge issues related to child birth, s*x life is basically dead for them as a couple no matter what one says, "once a junkie always a junkie" is not a myth, if she consume them just for two or three times even by mistake or due to someone else doing something, she will be back to old habits. The biggest thing is that I don't think she is worth the mental trauma and insecurities he is going to carry due to her for whole life and a little misstep from op's part will be end of their relationship.
@mustwereallydothis
@mustwereallydothis Ай бұрын
Back in the days that Shakespeare's plays were first being performed, male actors were considered among the lowest of the low and females doing that was entirely unthinkable. Now, they are quite litterly worshiped by society at large. We villify women who use their bodies to entertain others for no other reason than the fact that society at large has groomed us to look down upon them. Go ahead and try to convince me otherwise. I eagerly await your wisedom.
@alexven92
@alexven92 2 ай бұрын
I have a feeling the husband is in it because of the sunk cost fallacy. If he knew she was a ju nkie s x worker on their first date I don't think he'd have stayed.
@vamp6767
@vamp6767 2 ай бұрын
Wouldn't touch that women with a six foot pole. It's aweful that nowadays you have to do a full background check on any potential lover. Seems either you do everything right, marrying your childhood friend or highschool sweetheart or you end up with damaged goods (psychological, STIs, debts).
@JaiMishra-e5h
@JaiMishra-e5h 2 ай бұрын
I don't know what sunk cost fallacy means but yes he would have not stayed if it was told at the start. He stayed because he loved her deeply and thinks his love is more important and worth suffering the trouble she brings. If he knew about her at the start, what reason does he even have to stay. I don't think anyone would stay.
@fredericksaxton9782
@fredericksaxton9782 Ай бұрын
​@@vamp6767 You're a terrible person. Calling people, human beings "damaged goods" is such slimy way of seeing things. It's so awful nowadays that we have people like you who only see people as show ponies that need to be perfect from the moment they sh!t out the womb. People make mistakes. This is real life, not a movie. You can't change your past but people get better, acting like they can never be lovable simply because they made mistakes like humans do is absolutely dehumanizing.
@amoththatthinks
@amoththatthinks Ай бұрын
​@JaiMishra-e5h essentially when your pour some time into a thing to the point you keep pouring time because you have already worked too much on it. That girl is awful! Man, Greg is also a weak man.
@blackrosejinx5563
@blackrosejinx5563 Ай бұрын
@amoththatthinks How is she awful? She took accountability and told the truth to her partner. The two worked it out in a healthy manner and things ended fine. Why does she have to suffer for the rest of her life because of mistakes she made in her past? Why is he weak for wanting to work past his fiancé’s tumultuous past?
@trinstonmichaels7062
@trinstonmichaels7062 2 ай бұрын
What a poor situation.
@luka.renoir
@luka.renoir 2 ай бұрын
Why didn't they send her to rehab
@chackos123
@chackos123 Ай бұрын
If I found out my fiance was a junkie prostitute, I'd absolutely head for the hills! This dude is a complete sucker if he thinks that this is going to end in anything other than a disaster!! No way!!
@diffsnicker
@diffsnicker Ай бұрын
Her ability to pair bond is irreparably damaged by her lifestyle choices. Statistics say their marriage is very unlikely to survive. Perfectly valid to not want to stay with someone like that.
@Bepetoni
@Bepetoni 10 күн бұрын
Healthy religious folks W!
@Hoki4
@Hoki4 2 ай бұрын
I got to say, I can never ever take a woman seriously anymore after finding out that they have 304 past. It's like a switch flipping and its never going back the way it used to be for that woman. And I would never ever be in a serious relationship with someone that I consider to be 304.
@lilactown9778
@lilactown9778 2 ай бұрын
Ur disgusting dude
@diffsnicker
@diffsnicker Ай бұрын
​@@lilactown9778did he piss in your Wheaties or something?
@inbloom6289
@inbloom6289 2 ай бұрын
I came a little too early
@saywhaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat
@saywhaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat 2 ай бұрын
It happens 😕
@timothykohout9503
@timothykohout9503 2 ай бұрын
Well clean yourself off and put away the vaseline then.
@Albme94
@Albme94 2 ай бұрын
thats what she said
@ve2767
@ve2767 2 ай бұрын
Fr these comments are mad hateful
@Yue_Jin
@Yue_Jin 2 ай бұрын
So did she, with many men.
@15801
@15801 Ай бұрын
The boyfriend is gonna get screwed his life in the future
@raynewithhorns
@raynewithhorns Ай бұрын
I would have never talked to him again, a real man stays and works through it and a real man doesn’t run away. Op didn’t need to share that, she’s clean and sober who cares? It literally doesn’t matter
@diffsnicker
@diffsnicker Ай бұрын
A real man doesn't tell people they aren't a man because he disagrees with a decision someone made. Also it does matter to people who want a partner that hasn't damaged their ability to pair bond by being promiscuous. Quit trying to shame people for having preferences.
@BiggusThiccus
@BiggusThiccus Ай бұрын
A real man wouldn't marry a hoe.
@catch22ash
@catch22ash 2 ай бұрын
I personally wouldn't have stayed if I was the guy, lying by omission about being a crackwh*re is on the level of lying about your marital status. Obviously op chose not to disclose this early in the relationship to emotionally trap the guy.
@TheZombifiedFairy
@TheZombifiedFairy 2 ай бұрын
Damn the namecalling about people at their lowest shows exactly the kind of person you are. Like anyone is well within their right to leave someone for ANY reason but judging someone's past because you had to privilege of not going through that is wild
@catch22ash
@catch22ash 2 ай бұрын
@TheZombifiedFairy Being a crackwh*re isn't a condition women are born with, it's a choice. Good on her to eventually clean up her act but she should've been more honest about her past.
@TheZombifiedFairy
@TheZombifiedFairy 2 ай бұрын
@catch22ash didn't say anything about it being a condition or her being born with it. Also didn't say she was right to not be honest about it. Again, you can leave at any time for any reason. But you can also carry yourself with enough dignity to know that judgement of someone's mistakes (especially if you're religious like in his case), doesn't put you in a higher moral standing. Namecalling does nothing but display how childish the person doing the namecalling is, especially when you could just leave if you're going to degrade the person. Never dealt with addiction myself but I know I'd never look down on someone for it, especially someone who's completely turned their life around.
@lilactown9778
@lilactown9778 2 ай бұрын
@@catch22ashhow do you even have that conversation though ?? Where would you have that conversation? On the first date do you say “oh yeah I was a whore lol 😛 sorry bout that!!” Like what..
@Furrina89
@Furrina89 2 ай бұрын
​@@lilactown9778she was literally lying about being a junkie and a whore. And actively hiding it
@albertelysee2818
@albertelysee2818 2 ай бұрын
I don't blame him tbh
@Vipre-
@Vipre- 2 ай бұрын
There's nothing to blame him for. Finding out your fiancée was a heroin addict who was kicked out by her family for theft, became a stripper and prostitute, and that you only met her because she nearly died from an OD and turned her life around as the result of a chance meeting with a pastor is one HELLUVA big item to digest. Dude needed a minute.
@Yue_Jin
@Yue_Jin 2 ай бұрын
I do, what a weak man to stay with her.
@JaiMishra-e5h
@JaiMishra-e5h 2 ай бұрын
​@@Yue_Jin😂 it's about prospective, yes he is a weak man for staying, says my mind as a medical student as she got her very own geen pool inside of her and might have complications in pregnancy and i also know that he will have heavy trauma. But i😂. Hahahahahaaha I think he is also strong man to have stayed for love as i would not have. And i would have to share her history with my family anyway so i don't think it's happening.
@christianvillapando4060
@christianvillapando4060 2 ай бұрын
Can someone explain to me why Greg is in the right for his insecurities? Because the way I'm reading it, he's being such a judgemental asshole for stuff that OP has moved on from. I get that he had no way of knowing that but some of his fears feel very irrational lacking empathy
@JaiMishra-e5h
@JaiMishra-e5h 2 ай бұрын
To answer your question, OP is a prostitute and a thief and a junkie and it is gerg has to decide if she is even worth the trouble she is bringing. You are talking as if you would leave your children with a well known pedophile who has harmed 4 children just cause he has not done it in 7 years. You are of the mentality that girls that are now doing only fans or prostitution have the are to go back and act all like traditional women just cause they did that in the past. TELL ME WHICH OF GERG'S INSECURITY IS UNREASONABLE , I ALSO WANT TO SEE IF I AM WRONG.
@GRUUUUUVY
@GRUUUUUVY Ай бұрын
No one is entitled to the forgiveness and understanding of others. She made choices. And choices have consequences.
@christianvillapando4060
@christianvillapando4060 Ай бұрын
@GRUUUUUVY I guess I moreso seeing it from a point of view of people can change. I obviously don't know OP so for all we know she could be blowing smoke up everyone's butts. I also agree with you where there's just some things you can't be forgiven for and OP is very lucky that her family let her back in their lives. Thanks for the insight because it shows me that there isn't any right or wrong in this story other than OP's past
@GRUUUUUVY
@GRUUUUUVY Ай бұрын
@christianvillapando4060 The issue that I find often is that people overuse the term "insecurity." I don't think that there is anything irrational about NOT feeling secure with someone's past. You are taking a huge chance that someone has genuinely changed and won't betray you. Plus, even if they are sincere and have changed, must your prospective spouse accept your past? You can have empathy for a person's struggles and still decline to commit to them.
@emmawilliams8119
@emmawilliams8119 Ай бұрын
You also gotta keep in mind that both of the people in this story are Christians. As a Christian myself, I can tell you that one of the most common things a Christian can struggle with is reconciling our sinful natures with the total forgiveness Christ offers, especially when it comes to other people. It’s really easy to judge someone for who they were before they met Jesus, and that sounds like what he’s struggling with. He has a different set of values than what you might be used to, and for him that kind of stuff is a lot more serious than it would be for people outside of our faith, especially because of our beliefs on marriage. It’s genuinely a huge deal for a Christian. Frankly he’s a more forgiving person than I am; if I found out the guy I’m going to marry used to be a sex worker I would probably call off the relationship completely. He’s actually handling this incredibly maturely, especially since he was with her for over a year and she didn’t tell him until they had already gotten engaged.
@andreavanhoof6047
@andreavanhoof6047 Ай бұрын
Story 1: You do not need your fiancé if he behaves like this to you! Consider this as a blessing in disguise because Jesus is removing this toxic person in sheep's clothing away from your life!
@diffsnicker
@diffsnicker Ай бұрын
Nah he straight up deserves better.
@ai_d_in
@ai_d_in 2 ай бұрын
😺😺
@hunkmaggoto
@hunkmaggoto 2 ай бұрын
Why is she calling being a drug addict "survive" xDD??
@THEPLAST1CS
@THEPLAST1CS 2 ай бұрын
I think then she’s talking about the work she did if she didn’t do that she wouldn’t have any drugs but she would most likely be dead on the side of the road
@eyez409
@eyez409 2 ай бұрын
She was doing survival sex work
СИНИЙ ИНЕЙ УЖЕ ВЫШЕЛ!❄️
01:01
DO$HIK
Рет қаралды 3,3 МЛН
99.9% IMPOSSIBLE
00:24
STORROR
Рет қаралды 31 МЛН
My wife said she Settled for Being with Me!
5:39
Mini Stories
Рет қаралды 212