I Outed My Ex As Gay To Get His Mother Off Of My Back | AITA Reddit Stories

[@ThePinkBinks]

I’m LGBTQ+ and sickened by the guy who wanted to use that poor woman as a brood mare and rob her of love and dignity. She’s NTA. He’s cruel. If there’s an exception to outing someone this is it.

[@ChangedWinds]

Knew what he was, exploited someone into a false pretense marriage, used her as a beard to get "real genetic children" out of her, then lied to his family knowing how violent his parents are and could've gotten OP hospitalized or worse. Imagine someone being murdered for protecting a cheating pos because "YoU sHoUlDn'T eVeR oUt ThEm." That's a cultish mindset. Be grown adults and make productive adult decisions.

[@elizabethescalante8114]

Well, that shows that you have honor. It saddens me that not even the LGBTQ+ community isn't free from bad apples.

[@darkeness1029]

Gay here and completely agree with @ThePinkBoys

[@CarrieVogel77]

Story 2: I don't know what these people think about EUROPEAN/AMERICAN weddings, but the bridal party is not an orgy. The bridal party is merely support for the marrying couple. Not pretend partners.

[@atinyevil1383]

Personally, I think OP doesn’t know that and the bride is just pushing this bs and lying because she wants her way.

[@DePhoegonIsle]

That confused me as well.. I've never gotten anything but MOH & Best Man being a Friendship/team for the wedding couple and showing deep personal respect for the marrying couple.... even if there was a combined bridal & groom table of support people with roles>..> I don't get this... sudo couples thing.. >.> I mean the only examples I know of .. are literally a married couple being offered MOH & Best Man, and it Totally ends up as a wedding with a very family centric celebration... in an old style way. (it's beautiful for sure, but even if the MOH & Best Man are married, it's a celebration for the bride & groom, and the kissing is typically done for the now married pairs .. in the whole celebration/shower/dance after the wedding >.>.. and by that point most MOH & Best Mans end up with their own SO or socializing with family/friends, new married couple anywho) imagery is weird.

[@ukchanak]

Personally, I think it's because of the joke that the best man and MOA usually hook up.

[@fangchick93]

@@DePhoegonIsle that's how I understand it too.

[@saratronus]

I blame romantic comedies that have the Best man and the MOH fall in love and become a couple

[@dandotvid]

Story 3: Anya isn't "the one that got away" to OP's brother. OP's brother is "the one that got away" from Anya. And good thing he did; she sounds like a nightmare.

[@robertx8020]

THIS :) if he only can get away from his sister, his life will be perfect :P

[@saratronus]

This was the most bizarre thing I have ever listened to an anya sounds like a possessive bitch and op he is no better who gives her the right to determine her brother is in a relationship with( And I'm not bias because your name is Sara 😜)

[@tonyliu6721]

This story sounded so familiar that i think there is another reddit story Mark read that said that the wife is trying to get her sister to stop making her and the ex get together.

[@sammieh9695]

I bet the sister would be pissed if her sister in law invited her husband's ex that continues to pine over him to a family get together

[@Mewse1203]

Story 3: YTA the real crux is here: "I don't care what she did to them" It's not toxic or bratty to not want to be around someone who disrespected you.

[@robertx8020]

I would say OP is the AH and we know where she gets it from because the mother is also an AH !!

[@brigidtheirish]

Can tell where OP gets it considering her mom sided with her.

[@dingoatemychild1]

And imagine if the genders were reversed everyone would be freaking out about how a man is controlling a women's body but when a girl does it nothing's wrong

[@deniseslay9056]

Story 1: nobody seems to recognize the elephant in the room. The man is a dangerous sociopath.

[@FrancisR420]

So if someone is a dangerous sociopath you can out them to family members? Elephant in the room, the guy wasn't in the room or that woman's life anymore so who cares

[@Princetonian4eva]

@@FrancisR420 Except he was in her life as was his mother. And yes, people are allowed to protect themselves against dangerous sociopaths and their sociopathic family members. A situation that was made entirely by the sociopaths involved.

[@emanx222]

@@FrancisR420 stop trying justify the ex and his bullshit. Its actually laughable that you keep trying to justify his blatant disregard for his ex "The guy wasn't in the woman's life anymore so who cares" what? Are you deluded? No seriously are you nuts. He literally fucked shit up and then left residual damage in the form of his mother. Why shouldn't the OP care that she's constantly getting harassed as a result of the lies HE SPREAD. you completely dismiss ALL of his bullshit because "Outing is bad". I'm sorry but there will ALWAYS be exceptions to tis rule and stories like this one highlight why exceptions are so damn important It's because of people who ascribe to that heavily flawed logic that situations like these happen in the first place.

[@thatwitchychick2717]

Story 1 is always going to be a NTA from me. You want to hide your gayness from your family? (I had to do this at one point) You stay single or hide your relationships. You DO NOT get to violate someone's consent by pretending to be attracted to them when you aren't. You do not get to lie to and cheat on your partner with a pass because you're gay. There's almost nothing more disgusting to me than someone who pretends to love someone only to lie to, gaslight, cheat and blame them for the end of the relationship.. Holy crap.

[@ArthropodJay]

gaslight gatekeep gayboss /j

[@ptaradactletime11]

all she had to do was say "he cheated on me, if you want to talk about this talk to your son, get out of my home i will mail you what you need" she wanted to ruin his familial relationships and put his safety at risk as revenge, i dont believe for a second that that wasnt her goal from the start. if it wasnt she wouldnt have done it.

[@shawnesmith5364]

@@ptaradactletime11 But that the thing she did, mother in law was the one who kept pushing and being an asshole/ heassing her. All the shit she just went through, it was no wonder it came out. And I’m saying this as a gay person my self. Plus could you really say you would do any better. How would you feel if the person you was with cheated on your, then lied about the reason, you try to move on only for your mother in law telling you that it your fault for not being good enough.

[@thedestroyasystem]

@@ptaradactletime11 let’s assume that’s the case, she’s still not the asshole. If she can hurt him so badly by simply telling the truth of the situation, she is completely justified in doing so because of the way he treated her. Cheating, using her for kids, etc… all abhorrent behaviors. Setting the record straight (pun intended) was what she needed to do to avoid being harassed further.

[@HuskyMama1009]

Well said! I was so angry at the ex for lying on OP, allowing her to take the fall, and no responsibility for himself. Did he honestly believe she would be ok with that? What a cheating prick -- his sexuality is irrelevant

[@Garden366]

“His life is falling apart because he’s a lying, cheating bastard.” Well said. Nothing more to add here.

[@toongrowner1]

story 1: Glad to see that even in todays time, there are still so many people who know to judge people on their actions and character and not just their sexuality (or race).

[@brigidtheirish]

Yeah. Gay or not, you do *not* cheat, you do *not* throw your wife under the bus, you do *NOT use your SO as a baby factory!*

[@saratronus]

I think of op not the asshole Because there is no danger in outing him But it also sounds like no matter what The ex tell his mom was gonna bitch about divorce

[@BlueMageDaisen]

@@saratronus She can't KNOW there's no danger, so ESH to me

[@saratronus]

@@BlueMageDaisen yes I was thinking that

[@emanx222]

@@BlueMageDaisen lol danger or not the ex brought it upon himself 🤣. I'm sorry but OP isn't TA at ALL. At the end of the day the EX involved the family in his lie. The moment he did that he set a timer for things to blow the fuck up in his face. The OP cannot be blamed for detonating a bomb HE SET HIMSELF. And if the only reason you say ESH is because "there could be danger" then im sorry, that's bull and we all know it. What else was the OP supposed to do that she hadn't tried already

[@everdreamcosplay]

Story 3 - Anya is not the one who got away for your brother. Anya is an obsessed fan bordering on stalker. Inviting her to an event where your brother and his fiancee are present is unkind at best. If you don't accept that your brother loves who he loves (and it's not Anya), then you will lose your brother, too. The more you and Anya pull these stunts, the more he will grow to detest her. At this point, even if she was the last woman in the world, he probably would want nothing to do with her. Leave Anya out of it. Be friends with her on your own terms, and spend some time getting to know Sarah instead of being mad your brother won't marry your obnoxious friend.

[@cjandauntieyaya1446]

Story 3: OP is TA and she has allowed a sociopath to get into her family and now Anya is going t have fun breaking up the family. OP will soon find out Anya is going to start looking at HER husband and trying to push OP out of her own life. This is how these people work. A good person moves on and doesn't try to break up the relationship between their ex and the new relationship. Anya is going to first push out OP's brother, then she's going to push away OP's parents, then she's going to either take OP's husband or break their relationship up to have OP all to herself.

[@pansprayers]

The OP is just as much a narcissistic sociopath as Anya.

[@kimsmith1746]

I don't think Anya will go after OP'S husband. She isn't Eve Harrington. However, she is an obsessed stalker. And if she did manage to land OP'S brother, OP is going to find her self to be redundant to Anya. Anya is only using OP...think Miss Steele and Fanny Dashwood (nee Farrows) in Sense and Sensibility. Miss Steele is looking to marry Edward Farrows, as he is the heir. She still flirts with Robert Farrows and plays up to their sister Fanny. When her plans to marry Edward put her in a bad position and Edward is disowned, she lands Robert...after he is made the legal heir with no recourse to reverse it. Fanny got played.

[@cjandauntieyaya1446]

@@pansprayers True... OP is bringing another monster into the family. As if OP wasn't bad enough.

[@GeorgiaDLee]

OP 1: Ooooh baby. Ex husband set up these dominos, OP knocked them down. NTA.

[@janglesthearsonist5265]

Story 3: YTA If OP wants Anya to be a family member then OP should marry her. Bringing a brother's ex to Thanksgiving family dinner is a shitty move unless you're dating the ex yourself. Even then it's a bit shifty and barely acceptable.

[@brigidtheirish]

OP even said she doesn't care if the whole "I'm the future wife of your boyfriend" thing is true! And she's *still* saying that she'd try to set Anya up with her brother! Does *personal choice* not exist in her world?

[@fhuber7507]

1... NTA. Outing a habitual liar as a liar is never wrong. "I caught him in the act with another MAN"

[@fhuber7507]

2... NTA. Bridezilla needs a tub of green paint dumped on her head during her walk down the aisle.

[@fhuber7507]

3... YTA. Purposefully trying to create trouble between brother and his girlfriend is a total a$$hat move. Hopefully brother goes NC with you.

[@fhuber7507]

4... NTA. Take the dog out to the hill any time a$$hat neighbor's kids head for the hill. And fence the property line "to keep the dog in."

[@TheKennethECarper]

Story 1: Purely and simply not the asshole. I don't care that he cheated. That was inevitable. He was gay. She was straight. Also his real significant other was the one he was cheating with not his wife. Frankly, the idea of tricking a woman into falling in love with you so she could become your baby factory is vile. It's worse that he lied about her to his family. He literally gave her no choice but to out him in order to set the record straight. It was his fault not hers. There's no way she's the asshole in any of this.

[@thedestroyasystem]

Agreed. I generally believe outing people is bad, but in this case she had little choice. Him cheating was the perfect example of trying to have his cake and eat it too, which would be okay if OP weren’t caught in the emotional crossfire. And by that I mean, he could’ve had a lavender marriage, a practice where two opposite sex gay people marry to give the appearance of a get relationship but continue romantic relationship outside of the marriage. It is mutually consensual and a way for LGBT people to keep safe. Him tricking her, using her, and cheating on her is a plaintext abhorrent, and doesn’t get excused just because he belongs to a minority.

[@fangchick93]

As a panromantic demisexual I absolutely agree. Being outed sucks but the alternative is OP being constantly harassed and guilted

[@wmdkitty]

Nope. Lots of homophobia in the comments today, though.

[@Martial_Autist]

@@wmdkitty Where? I've been all over and I have yet to see a single comment that could even remotely be described as homophobia, lots of gay and bi people calling a NTA verdict though... You gonna tell us they all have internalized homophobia or some shit?

[@locusxe1411]

@@wmdkitty nope

[@slytherinlibrarian3501]

I said this on the XO video as well, but it applies here too: There have been enough stories on Reddit that make it clear that one should never: Tell a lie that requires another party to uphold that lie and not tell them about said lie. Anyone who still chooses to do so deserves whatever comes when the lie comes to light. Doubly so if your lie hurts/disrespects someone else like this. STBX did this to OP not once, but TWICE!

[@everdreamcosplay]

Story 2 - Yeah, they have American Wedding culture wrong (I'm American). Best Man & MOH walk back down the aisle together. At the reception, if the head table doesn't include partners, the bride and groom sit in the middle, and the best man sits next to groom, MOH sits next to bride, and other attendants flanking each side. In all the wedding's I've been to, I've never seen Best Man & MOH dance together, but maybe that's a thing for some people. Regardless, I would definitely step down, as she seems to be pulling more shady stuff the longer this goes. Might even avoid the wedding altogether and reduce contact.

[@bige2268]

Yeah that’s definitely not a thing that the MOH and BM have to play couple 😂

[@owl7072]

Story 1: As a bi person, NTA. It would one thing if you did it for no good reason but _you had a good reason._ He cheated on you, he used you as a cover up and then cheated on you. On top of that, he cheated and lied about it to his family by making it look like YOU were the problem and made you look like a terrible person and wife simply because he didn't want to admit that he's a horrible person who would rather manipulate an innocent person and paint them as the bad guy than be honest and come clean. You don't get a free pass just because you're gay, you have to face consequences just like everyone else. Don't want to be outed? Don't put people in a situation where they don't have a choice but to do so or risk being harassed and have their life ruined because of YOUR shitty decisions.

[@robertx8020]

I would make it an ESH (except for OP ) He is a cheater and a liar but his parents? They are aweful And all under the cover of a 'loving god'

[@wmdkitty]

Disagree. He sucks for cheating and lying, absolutely. BUT! OP still had _no right_ to endanger him by outing him to heavily conservative and homophobic family.

[@muppetsrule1143]

Then the husband shouldn't have blamed OP for the break up.

[@MorganVsTheInternet]

@@wmdkitty he’s the one who strong armed OP into needing to protect herself from relentless abuse and ruined reputation. Shity people don’t deserve protection

[@cadaver1179]

Don't forget he used her as a brood mare. Op also has a restraining order against him, which he broke, to try to get back together with her.

[@TsukiKageTora]

Story 1: I’m pretty sure the reason there are not any Y-T-A posts cause they might have broken the “civil” rule. Or they all were downvoted to oblivion and are at the end of the post’s comments

[@MsAnimefan95]

Yeah, another channel DID cover some of them, and they were pretty rude to OP, all while happily glossing over the fact that the ex considered her a broodmare AND set her up to be attacked by his family.

[@TsukiKageTora]

@@MsAnimefan95 I looked myself. Most were like “he was an asshole but he didn’t deserve to be outed” as if they didn’t think it was ok OP was being treated as a sex/child making machine. She didn’t deserve that but they act as if she does? They are disgusting human beings only caring about the asshole man who wanted an incubator wife for a son for him and his boyfriend just because he is gay.

[@BruceWayne-ys4iq]

@@MsAnimefan95 could you link the video?

[@MsAnimefan95]

@@BruceWayne-ys4iq Afraid not. You might have to look for Ask Gurl and XO's videos on the subject.

[@cynicalminion]

i can't even COUNT how many weddings i've been at where the MOH/BM wouldn't piss on each other if they were on fire, but because they're NOT partners in any way, shape, or form, they both stood up for their mutual friends... oh, and if somebody doesn't want to get outed, they tell their mother to stay well away from the woman they've been cheating on and lying to for the entirety of the relationship/marriage that is going up in rainbow-colored flames (w/sparkles)...

[@NJ-kp3wu]

Even if OP in Story 1 outed her ex out of pure spite, she would've STILL been 100% in the right to do it because of the way he acted.

[@Fake_gamer_cat]

I get that outing someone is wrong, but the ex husband is a vile human being. He was in a committed relationship for years just to have a normal life and children. He lied to his family about the reason for the split up, blamed it on OP, and continued to try to live his normal life while OP was being harassed by the family. I'm kinda glad that most people thought OP wasn't the ass for what she did, because good. He kinda deserved it. I think anyone who says she's the AS is blind by the fact the ex husband is gay.

[@haleydanielle2998]

besides, who's to say he wouldn't do it again to another woman? Nta definitely!

[@thesirenking]

Normally, it's an automatic AH to out someone but this case is different. If he'd been honest with op and didn't pin the whole thing on her, it'd be a problem buuuuuuut he didn't. He's a spineless ass that just wanted to play pretend and lie to everyone. A lot of people in situations like this have beards usually for family purposes, but everyone involved needs to be in the know.

[@joycec8]

NTA Story 1: You can't lie to someone trick them to become your beard and not expect to have to to explode in your face.

[@dragonpasta5880]

Story 1: OPs ex husband should've gotten a Lavender marriage . It's undertaken as a marriage of convenience to conceal the socially stigmatised sexual orientation of one or both partners. Perfect for The husbands situation with his family.

[@MsUnamusedNerd]

*ALL VERDICTS* STORY 1: *NTA* Honestly I was going to do a hard YTA based on the title alone. Honestly it’s really horrible to out someone’s sexuality when they’re in the closet. But hearing that OP‘s ex only married her because he wanted to use her like a broodmare and see someone else behind your back is also pretty shitty. Honestly MIL is pretty misogynistic. Her advise hearing that her son was a cheater “all men are just like that and if you want to have sex with him or you need to make yourself more attractive for him“ 🙄 even though MIL didn’t know that her son was gay, it’s still really fucked up to blame 100% the wife for a marriage failing. The ex wasted years of OP‘s llife for his selfish reasons and he needs to be held accountable for his actions. I bet 100% guarantee that if he was never caught he would continue cheating. STORY 2: *NTA* Pretending to be in a relationship with someone you’ve never met before and even kiss them for the sake of putting on a show for the wedding sounds kind of creepy to me. Not to mention really disrespectful if they are in relationships. “ hey I get that you two are in relationships but tonight you’re not. You too are in a relationship with each other I expect you to kiss aand act like a couple for my wedding” NO STORY 3: *YTA* Anya is one of those creepy girls that couldn’t take a hint. She kept pursuing the brother even though he had a girlfriend for three years, even had the nerve to tell his girlfriend “I’m the future wife of your boyfriend“ and disrespected Sarah out of petty jealousy. Also acting possessed over a man that doesn’t belong to you, that is creepy. If a boy was doing that to a girl, everyone will be so quick to defend. Also why is OP also so invested in this fantasy relationship with Anja being with her brother? Is OP one of those creepy people that ship IRL people and stay hyper fixated on that imaginary relationship she builds up in her head??? STORY 4: *NTA* At least they actually asked for permission first instead of assuming that it was OK because the previous owner allowed them to. That’s a rarity. Neighbors always seem nice open till you tell them know when it comes to them doing things on your property. I do agree with the first comment, never let anyone do anything on your property whether be sweating, Easter egg hunts, or having their kids play in your garden because if they get hurt they’re going to sue the homeowner of the property they’re trespassing on.

[@DePhoegonIsle]

Sure, he's a cheating nitwit... but frankly OP in story 1: is a see you next tuesday kind of person.. and dropped that nuke on him and his family knowing the level of fundamentalist nutjobs and they'd likely abandon him or outcast him so hard it hurts. He's a major Dbag ahole, and OP is the friend I'd break the jaw of before I'd never see again for doing that. It's one thing to out him cheating on you the entire relationship, (which he was), it's another to destroy his entire family relationships.

[@MsUnamusedNerd]

@@DePhoegonIsle it’s consequences for his actions. He didn’t also lie to her he lied to his family so he could be the good heterosexual Mormon for them. If this charade of a marriage kept up how long will it be until something slips through the cracks? Until his family discovered that he was actually gay the whole time? OP is hurt that she was with a guy that never loved her & her mother-in-law was spewing a bunch of misogynistic bullshit blaming her for the marriage falling apart. She had every right to set the record straight. Also I’m pretty sure his boyfriend would have outed him if he got sick and tired of being the “side piece“ and wants a serious open relationship with her ex. The ex basically in a damned if you do damned if you don’t situation that HE put himself in an OP is the victim of his selfishness. I agree with one comment in the video that said if he wanted to marry someone to appear straight then he should’ve married someone that wanted the same thing.

[@nexuseagles6279]

@@MsUnamusedNerd He deserves for it not coming clean and sending the flying monkeys at OP to cover up the fact he was using her a mask. It was only a matter of time before he got outed or op would snap.

[@raymondjohnson2744]

@@MsUnamusedNerd story 1: I would say the mil is outright toxic. That statement was both misogynistic and misandrist at the same time. The mil seems like the kind of person who avoid admitting that they and or those closest to them are the problem by twisting facts to manufacture a reason to blame someone else.

[@DePhoegonIsle]

@@MsUnamusedNerd Shocker... a cheater lied about why a relationship ended. Flat out, good person or not... there are things you don't tell family (that others find perfectly normal telling family), and just because you think he should have told his mother he was homo sexual and sacrafice his entire family relationships... doesn't make it the sane thing to do. She was told, 'he's a cheater' and She didn't evenbat a bloody eyeball at it.. do you really thing he could have said it & not been harrassed int oblivion as well.. so he just blamed her to get his Mother to shut up about it, without having to drop an even larger nuke than your cheating on a spounce the entire relationship. The MIL is the worst in this story by far (like ... wtf, not even a blink at her son being called a cheater), but that doesn't clean OP or the now Ex-husband from being assholes either. I'm surprised this fact slipped everyones mind, that MIL can be exceptionally .. obnoxious, but is still Ex Husbands MOTHER & family. Also, 2nd to being physically beaten is having your entire family go NC with you because your gay, when they would excuse you cheating on your SO for the entire relationship with them. -- this is why OP is someone I'd never talk to again for this.. (not for leaving a cheater, which is good.. but for destroying the family life of an EX ... even if they cheated -- Hell I'd even talk to OP own mother & family to see if she can feel what it's like to know what it is to have an entire family turn their back on you.)

[@AndyyWithAY]

Thanksgiving story YTA! It's been over 2 yrs Anya should have been able to move on by now. It would be different if OP and Anya were friends and Anya and the brother had no unfinished business, but Anya is actively disrespecting the relationship. OP gets her insanity from her mother clearly

[@atinyevil1383]

OP said Sara and Brother we’re together for 3 years, so it’s been even longer. Also, he and Anya were never in a relationship to begin with, which just makes this even weirder.

[@LPSmeow1989]

1st story NTA - if he wanted to look like he had a straight marriage he could have found a lesbian who was in a similar situation and just been honest about it from the start

[@TsukiKageTora]

Story 3: yikes. Halfway through the story and OP is already the asshole. Anya harasses OP’s brother and his girlfriend because she wants to marry him instead. Brother cuts her off because of said harassment when his sibling behind the scenes didn’t care and still actively tries to set them up. OP is as messed up as Anya and the brother should go NC with OP. “I don’t care you’re being harassed by her, I like her so she will come but I have an agenda to set you up. I know better than you about your sex and love life” What a lunatic. ETA: go NC with mother too.

[@CH-ns4gv]

Even if OP outed her ex to hurt him, he deserved it. Play stupid games win stupid prizes

[@bellesmith8925]

Love the little snow animation at the end. I can tell you really care about your channel bc of how you pay attention to details 🧇♥️

[@bellesmith8925]

At the beginning*

[@maryalicefike4704]

currently spending 7 hours a day in the library studying for my finals as a premed student and your videos are on a constant loop keeping me sane

[@BruinPhD2009]

Best of luck with your finals!

[@Jess-sb2nj]

My people! Good luck!- love a long suffering vet student xxx

[@juanhaines7295]

Story 1 i just heard this one. I say nta. He deserved this for using and lying to her to hide his orientation. Also before anyone comes at me I'm bi.

[@pitviper2]

Story 1: Wow, he couldn't even wait to have his oh so important baby before he started cheating, he thought he was so slick and then found out, lol what a pos

[@TsukiKageTora]

Story 2: I thought the tradition is walking down the isle in pairs after the bride and groom leave to be in order. Never is it “be all lovey dovey to those you don’t like. This bride is trying to manipulate the situation to get OP with her cousin despite him being in a long term committed relationship. Bride or not, she has no right to do that on -her- _their_ day. The groom needs to stick up for his friend and if he doesn’t, he is worse and OP needs to find better friends who won’t allow someone to put them in an awkward situation

[@liacaburian2092]

Story 4 kinda reminds me of an old situation between 2 neighbors' kids. My family commissioned a ramp on our porch for our dogs who were getting old and couldnt get up the stairs on their own. The kids saw this and treated it like was their playground. While they were nice and always asked our permission it got annoying because they would spend their days in our yard and the dogs couldnt potty because they would distract them. After some not so subtle hints they left our ramp alone.

[@brigidtheirish]

And OP can't restrict their access to the hill because the *bottom* of the hill is on their property? A dog that's *tied up* is 'out of control?' What the absolute *hell?*

[@growinghigher420]

For story 1 I understand why she outed him technically he outed himself with how he handled the situation so definitely NTA but this dude literally cheated from the jump my main thing is did he protection?? I'd be going crazy if not only did he cheat but also expose OP to STDs😵

[@unluckypuppy13]

Good point ! I didn't think about that.

[@Princetonian4eva]

Exactly, regardless of sexuality - having multiple partners puts everyone's health at risk. And given that he wanted to have children and they did, means he was exposing her multiple times without her knowledge. If he did contract anything and didn't tell her (obviously wouldn't because he'd have to explain where it came from) it would be considered a crime.

[@TennantJunkie1993]

And yes, Mark. There is a JustNoMom. There's also a JustNoFamily subreddit too.

[@Sugieb]

Hi Mark! In the middle of working on a chemistry assignment you picked the perfect time to post

[@ivy4104]

Oh oof the title, hyped to listen to the story

[@cynicalminion]

story 3: add this to the list of "no, no... keep the backstory to yourself!! OH GOD, IT'S JUST GETTING WORSE!!" unless anya's a vengeance demon you don't want to get on the bad side of, we can pretty much sum up your relationship w/your brother using your own words: "i don't know if any of this is true, and i don't care that much." and "i'll always love her more (than your brother, obviously) no matter what."

[@rachelwitherspoon4394]

Thanks for the Buffy reference!!!

[@chits28]

2 - I think this bride is getting her lessons about American culture from Gossip Girl🤣

[@thatwitchychick2717]

Also Mark, if you want to see some of the YTA verdicts. There's a reddit channel called XO that also does reddit reading stories and covered this story today. Almost all of the comments were YTA and I was freaking shocked. Here's a link to the video: kzbin.info/www/bejne/ZmPWfnqdbMiCndU Much love to all of you!

[@paden1865able]

I saw that one and the pinned post includes an update by OP. Spicy!!

[@BruinPhD2009]

@@paden1865able I listened to it driving from work and it pissed me off. I was yelling at the sound system at the top of my lungs. I say this as a gay man, OP IS NTA. Also, I briefly dated a gay Mormon. There's something about that upbringing that they have a hard time shedding. He was pretty miserable and borderline abusive and so were most of his gay Mormon friends. A lot of self hate there...

[@WolframKKM]

Story 1: Completely agree with the comment about him treating her like a breeder. Being a minority doesn't give you a free pass to dehumanize and abuse others you have privilege over. You don't protect someone's right to come out on their own terms at the expense of your safety, particularly when this was completely avoidable if he had just taken responsibility for the end of the marriage - or you know, never found the malice in his cold little heart to go through with it to begin with.

[@AndyyWithAY]

I have to go with NTA for story 1. The husband lied to her and lied about the reason the divorce was happening. Had the crap husband not lied and got MIL on OP this wouldn't have happened. And, sexual incompatibility is a valid reason to end a marriage. You shouldn't be trapped in a sexless marriage either. Marriage should be fulfilling for both people

[@pippo17173]

I dont know why the ex husband even bother trying to please his homophobic family? I'm just thinking how much money they got or maybe their a lot worst then you can imagine. Still, you cheat, expect the karma hurricane to get ya.

[@debbiemclaughlin3214]

I have insomnia and recently found your videos. I absolutely love them and have found if I put in my Bluetooth earbuds there is relaxing music in the background. I listen with my eyes closed and this relaxes me enough to go to sleep. Again, I love the stories and your voice. Since this video is from a year ago I don't know if you will see it but wanted to thank you for helping me get to sleep. Much love from Oklahoma USA!!!!!

[@Symphonia30]

To the people who say being outed is wrong no matter what, I think you’re just blinded by their beliefs that they’re willing to give a free pass to a douche bag like the ex-boyfriend. I mean would you give that same argument if someone actually committed a crime just because they wanted to keep their sexuality a secret?

[@ptaradactletime11]

it isnt giving him a free pass, its being a decent human being. if her ex had an insane foot fetish that ruined their relationship she wouldnt tell his fucking mom that, because its clearly off limits. her exs safety is now at risk because op wanted revenge. the only thing she had to say was "im not discussing this with you"

[@emanx222]

@@ptaradactletime11 lol no, no, no you are grossly comparing apples with oranges here. An "insane foot fetish" is in NO WAY comparable to what actually fucked shit up. Of course she wouldn't tell the mother in Law BECAUSE THE FOOT FETISH IS IRRELEVANT! In this case the OP was literally lied to, deceived and was going to be used as some sort of baby popper for a man who was in love with his affair partner. Get the fuck outta here with that "decent human being rhetoric". Thats the kind of shit people say to excuse deplorable behaviour and it drives me mad. This idea that outing people in Any and all circumstances is wrong is exactly what gave the ex the confidence to pull the shit he pulled. Its only when people stop excusing bullshit under the guise of "being a decent human being" that they'll begin to realise how backwards it is to even suggest that outing someone in situations like story one is in any way some evil act

[@fandomfan2800]

@@emanx222 Nah

[@emanx222]

@@fandomfan2800 yep... there's no justification you can give to justify calling OP TA for outing her ex without being a massive hypocrite

[@wmdkitty]

Nope. He's wrong for cheating. But that doesn't justify outing him. Period.

[@flyboy1081]

Hey mark, thanks for keeping me company while I cleaned my espresso machine! Great stories today! Have a wonderful day everyone!

[@Roedygr]

THANKSGIVING : My first reaction is Anya is OP's friend. She is her guest. Brother is being infantile demanding she be disinvited just because he does not like her. But on the other hand, it looks like OP is trying to force Anya on her brother to persuade him to dump Sarah. Brother detected her scheming and decided to stay away to avoid confrontation.

[@alicewilloughby4318]

Story 1 - I hope OP's ex can get back in touch with his cousin, now that he's been kicked out of the family too.

[@katiesmith2031]

Mark thanks for the video hope you and poppy are having a wonderful day

[@opal5138]

fence fence! Fence!!! FEnce!!! FENCE!!!

[@thatdellgirl14]

ive been waiting on this vid all day just to hear story one

[@toshapoulson9341]

Morning ya handsome devil!! Hope your day is great Mark. ❤️

[@kathleenmcfarlane2555]

At work, as a nurse, charting while listening and laughing. Thanks for the stress relief.

[@fate_clotho9596]

@Mark Narrations No, YOU cheeky so and so!😂😂😂 Much love!💜

[@kacielawrence]

Story 4: Restraining order, privacy fence, security cameras with audio, NTA.

[@TsukiKageTora]

11:58 it could be a really really rare case where the bridesmaids and groomsmen were all SOs with each other

[@faeb.9618]

last op is absolutely TA there is no dog tax. unforgivable

[@paden1865able]

Just in time for my brain to have something to chew on while doing laundry.

[@novabrilliant4510]

It was so nice today, I went for a 12 mile ride. Time for a cup of coffee and see to some chores. Thanks Mark 😊

[@drakeloki4214]

I have seen weddings were the best man and MoO did do a dance (only one) and sit a a table for the bridal party but that's it, not sitting next to each other and definitely no kissing. Also after a while once all the formal stuff was over they would go to their partners at whichever table.

[@ohno8398]

Story 3 is absolutely WILD. OP and Anya should just date each and shut up at this point.

[@runawayfromtoads674]

As a queer person in a same sex relationship, OP is NTA. That's a coward move right there, the husband pinning it on her when he was the one at fault. If he wanted to hide his sexuality, he could have done so by not pinning it on his ex. I'd say he deserved being shunned for cheating-- but it's sad it had to be because of his sexuality.

[@growinghigher420]

Mark you're always thwarting my plans to be lazy but uploading content lol how are you 😂😂

[@Val_Benko]

Story 3: as the story went on I became more and more creeped out and horrified by OP!!! And her mother thinks she's right?!?! I just. WTF.

[@runawayfromtoads674]

"And so we're going to start off with that bitch" line at 3:49 got me laughing holy crap

[@pikarari]

Story #4: "Snow Covered Hills" is a pretty funny throwaway name for this OP 😆

[@snow2267]

Story 1 Definitely not the asshole, what did he expect honestly? That if he tossed the blame on you to take the heat away from him you would just be ok with that? Even still you tried not to reveal it. Hes a narcissistic toxic man that thinks you have to bear the burden of judgment from his family after he tried to use you. He only cares about himself and dosent even sound like he regrets it.

[@snow2267]

The people saying not the asshole need to open their eyes and stop excusing him because of his sexuality.

[@tracy_en6372]

Notification gang!!! HERE FIR THE WAFFFFFLLLLEEEE!!!

[@jessicapalmer3455]

YAAASSS!!! EMPEROR WAFFLE!!!

[@misamisaa4547]

When I saw the title, I wanted to call 1st OP TA, but holy fuck that man was vile and I wouldn't blame her if she shouted it from the rooftops...

[@digitalharmony26]

Last story is a perfect example of you giving an inch and then taking a mile.

[@Jeremy-The-Bullfrog]

Story 1. NTA. I was initially torn, cause it seemed irrelevant, and causing harm for something other than the cheating. But I decided NTA, because if he isn't forced to come out he will only end up doing the same thing to another woman in the future. Also ex-MIL is a gaslighting b-word.

[@kixi8033]

Title Story: NTA. He tricked and used her, then blamed the fall of their marriage on her and let his family bully her. If he didn't want to risk everyone finding out he was gay, then he shouldn't have done what he did. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[@TheRedowl101]

The bride in story 2 just wants to use OP to play dollie and make him kiss her cousin 😣 Edit: hecc op in story 3 also just wants to use people as dolls with no will of their own

[@melissaclark1051]

More terrifying. She is the kinda person you get a restraining order from.

[@princessaurora1111]

I'm sewing white specs onto a strawberry themed purse I crocheted :p I've been listening to a lot of your videos while working on this one :p

[@micahpatchen1538]

Nice job Mark. Every one of these made me mad in a different way LOL :D

[@marinam3809]

Story 1: NTA. This situation happened to my grandma, but she only found out once he left her on her death bed. I am also queer, but I will NEVER forgive that man for his years of emotional abuse and neglect towards my grandma.

[@FoxyMomma4ever]

Mark Narrations I’m just coloring again. I’ve got a beautiful log cabin that’s a lovely shade of blue with some browns mixed in and a beautiful garden in front with some gorgeous sunflowers shining like the sun in the front yard. I’ve got a quaint little stone path leading up to the porch, too. The sun is rising in the background in a pink and coral sky getting ready to make the leaves on the trees look like shiny jade stones. Thanks ever so much for your wonderful content. It’s a great way to occupy my mind as I color my pictures or play Mahjong. I appreciate you so much! Give Poppy ear scratches for me, please, and stay happy and healthy! Much love to you both!

[@CatAstridphe]

Today I'm playing picross on my switch. I need to finish putting up Christmas decorations but I'm just not feeling it this year.

[@cjandauntieyaya1446]

Story 4: OP is NTA and needs a fence.

[@chulutheimposter5415]

Hello Mark!! How are you doing today? I hope all is well and I wish you a great day!! My family adopted a cat last night!! His/her name is Garbage (because my brother always wanted to name a cat Garbage for some reason), sadly they weren't well taken care of/more on the unhealthy side but we're getting them to the vet tomorrow!

[@broken_queer_but_fighting8589]

💜💜🤗🤗hope the kitty is ok

[@felix0-014]

Nickname them Garbaggio XD lol

[@chulutheimposter5415]

@@felix0-014 time to add that to the list of nicknames...

[@felix0-014]

@@chulutheimposter5415 I just feel like it would be a funny Fancy Cat version

[@romonaelrod7870]

Hello waffle 🧇 king 🤴 Mark and princess 👸 Poppy 🐕 and all of you cheeky Waffle 🧇 lovers 😋💖. The weekend is sneaking up on us again 😁.I hope that you are all well. 🥰😁

[@joreyn7656]

Making some lunch and hanging with my dogs. It's a beautiful day for a waffle. ☺️

[@kmechwarrior1684]

S1: NTA. Normally outing someone like that is an AH move, but considering the background and you're catching crap from his garbage family and he didn't set them straight himself, Eff him and his family.

[@heatherdickau5335]

Story 1 NTHA this is all on the ex for lying. He lied from the start and his lies led to him being outed.

[@warpthumr47]

In the U.S., the extent of interactions between the best man & maid of honor are pictures & walking back down the aisle after the ceremony. That brudezilla is a POS.

[@Siinwu]

Story 3: WTF????????????... uuuuuhm can i have the brothers name... and tell him to permanent go NC with OP... shes nuts, just like Anya completly bonkers! and since mommy sides with OP i see where the Karen gene comes from, jebuz!

[@madytullis6912]

Hello Mark! I am working on finishing up designing a 3-D print for my boss at work Then designing my d&d character waiting for my next task

[@unluckypuppy13]

l figure the YTA posts from Story one must have gotten bullied into deleting loll

[@huinismith]

Story 1: Remember what we used to say about never outing anyone, for any reason, ever? It seems like I've just changed my mind.

[@randalthor741]

Story 1 did have a TON of YTA and ESH comments (as well as a whole bunch of deleted comments that you can tell were YTA from the replies to them), but you have to scroll really far down to find them.

[@ravenfox926]

S2: American here and that chick got it all wrong. I was a bridesmaid and I was NOT expected to pair off with the groomsman I partnered with, except for the ceremony and pictures. Also, if the bride told me I HAD to obey her wishes, I'd have said, "you can WISH in one hand and CRAP in the other and see which gets filled first."

[@Russman67]

Story 3: YTA. So the sister has decided to be a matchmaker even though he's in a relationship. And the woman she wants to set him up with he's already decided she's not for him. Why keep shoving her at him? Sure you can invite who you want and he can (and did) choose not to show up . Forcing this non-relationship to happen is some demented Hallmark channel nonsense.

[@gracehubbard282]

Putting some butter on toast, getting ready for class.

[@orcatheartist9928]

Came back to say I know where to stand with the first story. Ok, at first I was conflicted with the outing the ex husband as gay. However when I think about it, yea the op isn't the a hole. Since if the ex was gay and wanted children here some things he could of done. Instead of trying to use op. 1. Adopt children 2. Get a Surrogate 3. See if a pre surgery trans man wants to willing have your baby. (I am a bit iffy on this since it's feels wrong to say)

[@Josku2411]

Oop a tad late but i was putting my laundry in the dryer

[@KLT-id9nm]

Story 1: I feel like she was stuck between a rock and a hard place. What was she supposed to do exactly? Let his family keep harassing and emotionally abusing her? I've had those types of relatives (and cut them out with reason). They won't just go away, that type _looks_ for reason to keep coming back to poke at you. Her ex husband blamed _her_ with a lie to his family when he was the one at fault and really expected her to just shoulder that burden for him like all the rest he pushed on her. I say this as a member of the lgbt+ community myself- he's a grown ass man, he can face the consequences of his actions. It's not like he's a minor who can't potentially move away from the mess. *It is **_not_** reasonable to subject others to harm to cover your ass.* That's exactly what he did though; throw her to the wolves. Turnabout's fair play. I don't blame her for snapping and outing him in this situation. This was not her burden to carry. Honestly everything he did was disgusting.

[@FrancisR420]

Tell the mom she was cheating and if she doesn't care then let it go that they're just bad people and not out the person in contention to try to get the last word on a homophobe who's related to them.

[@KLT-id9nm]

@@FrancisR420 *She told the mom he was cheating,* and mother doubled down by blaming her more saying she should have done more to appeal to him like dress sexier. Did you miss that part? MIL is the nutty type of religious who thinks divorce is wrong and blames the woman with the BS reasoning that "men are just like that". "Letting it go" is easier said than done when her in-laws are the type to actively look for chances to keep harassing her. It's not like she's trying to maintain ties with these people. MIL _found_ her and initiated a harassing "conversation". Why should she have to bear the burden of being harassed by them every time they so much as encounter each other in the grocery store?! These people would be coming back _for years._ All because he lied in such a way that his own mother was still inclined to go after her even when the truth about him cheating came out. Every chance they get, to snip at her for something that was in no way her fault. Just because he wanted to keep playing pretend with an awful family that never truely accepted him in the first place. There's a certain point where *he* needs to take responsibility and accept that they are awful people. He had no right to subject her to any of this. He chose to subject her to harassment instead of just being honest and cutting his loses. *Why should she have to suffer the collateral damage on his behalf because he decided his f'ed up family was somehow worth keeping ties with enough to let other bear harm?!*

[@KLT-id9nm]

*Grown adults using others as a meat shield to avoid having to come out, knowing the person they're using is being subjected to harm, is unacceptable.* She is not obligated to martyr herself for him. It's not like they live in a country where being homosexual is a crime punishable by death sentence. It seems pretty clear they're in the US, and _they already know the worst he'll receive is shunning because that's what happened to his other relative who came out._ The fact is, he's an adult with the capacity to defend himself and to understand the harm he's caused her but he decided continuing to live a lie was more important. What does he even stand to get maintaining a relationship with these awful people? Inheritance? Ego boost? He's sure not getting love and acceptance from people who'd disown him at the drop of a hat. The lie and hurting her more was not worth it. Well now he can live his truth openly and she can move on.

[@AndyyWithAY]

OP was write to step down as best man, the bride wants him to go on a date with this cousin. And, this is not even a thing. The best man and maid of honor do not dance intimately at the wedding or fake kiss.

[@thotimusprimeofficial273]

Story 1: I have no sympathy for men who are sexist. Which is what he is. He saw her as an object to please his family and a baby maker.