Family Is Making Self Conscious About My Blindness, I'm Thinking Of Leaving - AITA Reddit Stories

[@voxkine9385]

New family rule: blind people don’t have to deal with the light switches, period.

[@Sherwoody]

I’d tell him I’ll give him a $1 for electricity I wasted, and he can keep the change.

[@livaugirard3383]

Honestly this was story was so hard to listen to... glad they hashed it out but can't believe op had to put up with that bs

[@rockfan243]

The sister saying the blind op has difficulties with the lights..........NO SHIT HES BLIND

[@TsukiKageTora]

Story 1: who the fuck in their right mind would throw a book at a blind person? Regardless of if they apologize or not does not negate the fact they threw the book at a blind person. That alone would make me want to leave if I was OP. That is disgusting behavior regardless if it was a reaction or not

[@MarkNarrations]

Yeah I was a bit shocked by that. The only thing I could have put it down to was maybe that op made the person jump and they threw the book forward. Grabbing at straws I know but possibly?

[@TsukiKageTora]

@@MarkNarrations didn’t she throw it at him to turn off/on the light? If this was true and if she had enough time to grab something to throw at someone to turn off the light, she had enough time to realize who it was and stop the reaction to throw the book. Even then, it’s not right to throw a book at anyone, blind of not, to get them to turn off the lights. Just use words to communicate.

[@nl3266]

I think they meant that OP startled her and she threw it as a defense mechanism. They’re being rather horrible but I hope not so horrible as to throw books maliciously

[@Daimah]

From what I understood I thought it was more like OP was in the room with the light off and the SIL switched the light on the room and was so startled by OP standing there that reflexively threw whatever she had on her hands, in this case a book.

[@TsukiKageTora]

@@Daimah in a house full of family members and one of them is blind. Her reactions are at least better than her sense of danger or lack there of

[@affsteak3530]

Is SIL in story #2 allowed to have friends? Go out of town? Is that disability compensation ONLY for the brother? I feel like the family doesn't care about her needs at all. How sad for her. It sounds like she's doing her best to support her husband without going insane from being trapped at home.

[@asmith8692]

When a social worker found out that I only had a few hours off each week while taking care of two people she asked(in front of one of the people) "when do you have a life?" I responded with "what's that." semi-faciously. It made my dad realize that I needed far more time for me, and he arranged to get someone in three days a week.

[@QueenOfTheZombieApocalypse]

Nope, according to OP she is now a full time 24/7 nurse and should not exist outside of that.

[@pansprayers]

Second Story: SSDI is there TO PAY FOR PROFESSIONAL MEDICAL CARE. This OP is a nightmare. Not only is caregiver fatigue a real thing (it almost killed me when my FIL was dying 16 years ago, starting on the 15th) it's often really ugly when it happens. The SIL doesn't get a day off, isn't building her retirement/preparing for her very sad future when the brother dies. My husband is my caregiver 15 years after his father died, but I insist he takes time away from his 24 hour job that is my situation. I admire TF out of him for it, and understand that disability isn't romantic in the slightest.

[@Tammohawk1]

SSDI is a different program that some disabled people get. You get SSDI if you didn't earn enough on your own to claim benefits. It's similar to a welfare program. Otherwise, you get regular SSI payments. The amounts you receive are vastly different. The first is set, depending on the state you live in the amount varies. The second is based off of your earnings and so the amount people receive is usually much higher.

[@pansprayers]

@@Tammohawk1 The major difference is that SSI determination is based on age/disability and limited income and resources, whereas SSDI determination is based on disability and work credits. In addition, in most states, an SSI recipient will automatically qualify for health care coverage through Medicaid. My MIL is on SSI, whereas my FIL was on SSI. I've had to fight that system for them many times.

[@atinyevil1383]

I was literally yelling this at the screen!

[@brigidtheirish]

OP sounds like a cheapskate who cares more that his brother and SIL would be saving a few dollars by having SIL be the sole carer than getting his brother the care he *actually needs.* OP *also* doesn't seem to care that SIL's job could not only pay for a *professional* carer, but also better food and maybe even some of the mortgage so his *parents* don't effective own the house by *paying for it.* I live off SSI. It's not a lot, but I make it work because I'm single, live in one of the lowest cost-of-living areas of the country, and am used to not spending money on things I don't *absolutely* need. Even so, money gets tight sometimes. I *commend* SIL for going back to work.

[@heathermcdonald9469]

Story 2: I’m a full time caregiver for a family member. Op, YTA this is much harder than you could possibly imagine.

[@SparDanger]

Bless your heart.

[@SorenPenrose]

OP needs to be direct and tell the family that they are literally bullying someone for being blind. If they're christian, tell them that's a damn good way to get to hell.

[@MaryTheresa1986]

Exactly! I would go no contact with their selfish a$$es.

[@MsUnamusedNerd]

STORY 1: *NTA* You’re completely and totally blind and don’t need lights, how are you supposed to say that the light switch did the opposite of what you wanted it to do when you touched it? The father sister-in-law threw a book at you to get you to turn the lights off, even though she apologized numerous times, they were still fucked up. Regarding the update I’m glad that he apologized and we’re going to try to put more conscientious effort to understand OP’s disability. Really sad to hear that OP had to basically hide away in their room until they heard people moving so they can move about the house without disturbing/inconveniencing anybody STORY 2: *YTA* Are you 100% agree with the first comment, caregiver burnout is totally a thing. Even when it comes to loved ones caring for their spouse that’s wheelchair-bound or bedbound they tend to get sick of it after a while I need some type of escape or a break from that position. Adding with the stress of the income with the bills piling up what’s wrong with her hiring a professional so she can pursue a career so they’re not in the poorhouse? If the husband died what Safetynet does she have? Are her in-laws going to take care of her until she’s on her feet? If so she probably doesn’t believe that. STORY 3: *NTA* He already got his way with the name of the boy he can’t have his cake and eat it too when it comes to naming the girl. Either y’all compromise on agreed names for both babies or OP names her daughter how she wants since her husband got his way naming his son how he wanted. Honestly with how standoffish he is for not getting his way, it seems like OP is going to start raising three kids when the twins are born.

[@nadiahinson3515]

They can stick a piece of blue tack to the light switch to indicate on or off

[@JSainte17]

Here me out... Okay, I'm only just getting into the story, but something seems suspicious. OP admits that he himself never uses lights, so why is he touching the lights at all? If you're used to not using them at all, then you have no need to turn them on here, which means you won't need to turn them off. Then, the lights will be solely operated by those who need them. You don't have to worry about turning lights off on people, or turning them on when you mean to turn them off. Then your only issue is people being startled by you sitting in the dark. And that can't be that big of an issue considering most of your time is likely spent either with others, where the lights are on and controlled by them, or when you're going to the bathroom or to sleep, in which case no one will be disturbing you.

[@gaywerewolf1294]

@@JSainte17 bc they were making a very big deal about him not turning the lights on or off and shit?

[@420Witchling]

Ex health care aide here (nursing assistant in Canada), I would highly advice her to get a full time caregiver for her husband. There is so much to do when caring for someone with major disabilities, including; bathing, changing (especially if they don’t have bowl/bladder control), feeding, changing positions as much as possible to avoid bed sores… and much more. Not everyone is cut out for this line of work, exactly why I’m an EX HCA. Also, when/if her husband passed she needs to be able to deal with that without the added stress of being exhausted 24/7 because she’s always taking care of him. I feel terrible that her in laws are being so heartless towards her, even if it’s in the husbands “best interest”. Which it isn’t… it’s probably humiliating for the poor man.

[@brigidtheirish]

Yeah. Stuff like this is why professional carers and nursing homes *exist.* Dad felt *awful* when his parents had to go to a nursing home, but there was no *way* he and Mom could've cared for them in person even without the whole 'living three hours away' thing.

[@420Witchling]

@@brigidtheirish 100%. And you have to be super careful when choosing said caregivers/nursing homes, since some HCA’s and nurses really just don’t care. My nana was put in a terrible one before she passed, my aunt found out the staff was abusing her and went ham on them. After she passed my grandpa only lasted a couple years before he passed too, sadly of cancer. But he refused to be put in a home, she didn’t have a choice. It’s really hard to be around that area of the medical field.

[@brigidtheirish]

@@420Witchling Ouch. I guess we were lucky that the nursing home near my grandparents was (and is) staffed by wonderful people. Kinda the best of small-town America. And both grandparents (especially Grandpa) were generally well-liked by the community. I still run into people who remember them. Grandpa didn't last much more than a year after Grandma died. Interstitial lung disease, officially, but I think he just kinda gave up without the love of his life around.

[@pansprayers]

I'm SUPER photosensitive, and very quiet by habit. I live in the dark as a general rule, and can scare the crap out of my husband without meaning to. I'm also disabled, and like OP it takes me time to adjust to my continued limitations - but my husband adjusts with me. This family is terrible. They know OP can't see, so they need to just anticipate their potential presence in the room when they enter. If they're that worried about the lights, they can choose to not act like animals, and shut lights off.

[@MarkNarrations]

Hey Wanderlust I hope this doesn't sound ignorant in any way but does living generally in the dark have any negative impact on your sight at all over time?

[@pansprayers]

@@MarkNarrations nope, not ignorant! Better to ask questions, I usually invite them, because it's better than misconceptions. In my case, due to my connective tissue disorders (Vascular Ehlers-Danlos and Marfan's Syndromes), my retinas are detaching and the cone cells in them (my eyes) (the ones that work better in bright light, and help with color perception) are deteriorating at a rapid rate, to the point I'm legally blind on my right side (we found that out the same day my FIL received his pancreatic cancer diagnosis, on 15 December 2005, Christmas is just hard for us). My rod cells (the ones used in dim light) are actually much stronger. Low/no light helps me preserve the rods I have for when they're needed, and also helps to reduce my optical headaches. I also have to invest in good sunglasses that meet the Australian requirements for polarization, because the inside of eyes are kind of like egg whites - over exposure to UVA and UVB radiation isn't good for anyone, but due to my tissue disorders, I'm more prone to cancer, especially optical and skin cancer. Luckily, the brain is a remarkable thing, and I am able to pick up on spacial location in my home fairly quickly. Being said, we only rearrange the furniture about once a year, and my floors have to be free of all debris for safety. Hope that helps, I'm always open to those who want to know more!

[@MarkNarrations]

@@pansprayers Thank you for explaining. I assume there's no treatment to help with the eyesight at all?

[@pansprayers]

@@MarkNarrations you're welcome! Unfortunately, there's nothing we can do other than attempt to preserve my remaining vision. I have corrective lenses, and we supplement heavily with Vitamin A to try to attempt to slow the deterioration, but the eye is kind of unique in the sense that, the rods and cones you're born with are the ones you have, so if they're gone, they're gone. I feel for the OP - vision loss comes with a certain loss of one's self that comes with it's own form of grief. I had to give up driving in part to this, something that I used to love to do, and I am also unable to properly see reds, and my capacity to see blues is rapidly diminishing as well. It can be really hard, especially when you don't have a good emotional/physical support system.

[@brigidtheirish]

@@MarkNarrations Main thing I'd be concerned about isn't deteriorating eyesight (that seems to be covered by the progression of her disability) but the possibility of developing depression. I've got depression *and* photosensitivity, so it's something of a balancing act. Luckily, my photosensitivity isn't nearly as bad as EDS Wanderlust Fairy's sounds, but I still have to wear sunglasses outside on just about any day that isn't mostly overcast. What's *really* annoying is that I've also got night blindness, so there's an even *narrower* range of light that I'm comfortable with.

[@kerribottriell-baxter7345]

Story 2: I am fuming at OP. I am having to study to go back to work because my husband CANNOT work! We essentially have TWO people with disabilities in our intimate family - husband and eldest son - on top of this there are 4 other young children to care for. Because of this - and this was known before this turn of events anyway - I am stepping up to help provide for my family. We cannot live off just Centrelink, (Aussie equivalent to whatever Social Security/Welfare is for whichever country the rest of the members here are in), being that when our eldest turns 16 the payment changes, and I think it will change when each child reaches a certain age the payments changes with that, too. Until we know how deep my husband is in with what is going on with him, on top of other stuff, it's called doing what we need. We've even talked of the possibility of Nannies or Carers or whatever. Why? Because dammit, unless you're living it, no-one has a bloody clue how draining this life can be and there is such a thing as Carers burnout! OP in this story is a moron!

[@ineedhoez]

Amen.

[@atinyevil1383]

Story 3: NTA as someone who was almost named “Rainforest”/“Rainbow” because of one parent being ridiculous, not only do I think you should have a say in what your kids are named. Also, you should only make your kid a jr. if their name is Stanley Yelnats.

[@JSainte17]

F*cking Reddit. Telling OP she should be able to name her baby what she wants, while also telling her what she should and shouldn't name her baby.

[@atinyevil1383]

@@JSainte17 I’m not saying they can’t. I’m just saying it’s a bad idea. There’s the idea of naming a kid what you want, and then there’s the real-world consequences of naming your kid that. The real world consequences of naming your kid after yourself tend to be either you or other people imposing the way you think your life should be on your kid or having other people treat your kid like they’re you. You’re essentially forcing your kid to live in your shadow their whole life. There’s also the paperwork as mentioned by others and the mix-ups. People can do whatever they want, but there are consequences to your actions.

[@Chaoticbunnii]

Coming from a family where there are a lot of juniors and thirds and fourths (I know. Wild), I don’t agree with this. As long as it is made clear that everyone put their full names on everything, there isn’t any confusion. My best friend lives in a three generational household where all of the men’s names are Tim with him included. They just all go by different nicknames and when Oma (grandma) is yelling at one of them and calls their full name, she calls out the senior, junior, or third. Side story to this because it is relevant to my little story above: My Dad and brother are both named Tim as well. I know, Wild! I also have two friends named Tim as well that I just call by their last and/or middle names because it is easier. So, when my best friend comes over and decides to engage in conversation with my Dad and little brother, I have to make sure I call him by his middle, my little brother, Timmy, and my Dad, of course, Dad or whatever form of that I decide on in the moment (Pops, padre, dad, old man, bald man because well, yea, or whatever joke we are in on together). We have been friends for two years now, so my family just call my best friend by his first and middle or just by his middle because that is what I do. It has cleared up confusion and even allowed them all to bond over having the same names. It’s a weird bond, but a bond nonetheless.

[@Daydream_N]

My mom insisted on naming me after her, after years of resentment, I go by my middle name and won't respond to my first. I firmly think you should never name a child after yourself, regardless of your intentions, you're expecting your child to be a perfect copy of yourself and it's not fair.

[@dionysus_adores]

The one who gives birth gets the final say because that stuff is life threatening, changes the body drastically and is a major medical procedure. So yeah push watermelon out you get to name.

[@mothertrucker936]

S2: YTA and a massive one at that. Caring for a disabled person 24/7 is one of the most difficult jobs , not to mention that the carer disappears. They have no life and are seen as the invisible chair pusher. You pay for the mortgage but what about spending money? Is there just enough for the necessities? Is she not allowed to travel, buy a nice dress or go out for an evening with the ladies? How about YOU devote an entire week caring for your brother while she goes away for a much deserved rest. And what business is it of yours that she uses THEIR money, not his only, to care for him while she earns more and gets a semblance of a life

[@zachf748]

Story #1 - It’s extremely disheartening that seemingly every person in OP's family is ok bullying him over something he can’t control.

[@videofan1010]

Who the hell criticizes a blind person this way!?

[@moebiusjdx7288]

As a person who worked at an airport the last story brought back some unpleasant memories. I had so many annoying encounters with kids who were named after their fathers. The absolute worst was one guy who gave all 5 of his sons his first name but each had a different middle name. The problem was that when the parents booked the reservation, they didn't put any middle initials even though there is specifically a spot to add middle initials when making the reservation. Since they booked the reservation that way, they couldn't check in online, they couldn't pre-select seats, and when they tried to check in at the kiosk it couldn't differentiate which person was checking in correctly. When they got to the counter they were uncooperative and didn't want to show ID's so we could determine who was who in the reservation. It was a huge pain in the ass and they almost missed their flight. I rushed them through security so they barely made it, but I didn't get a thank you for my troubles.

[@pixiechick05171971]

Story 2,YTAH. My grandmother and my mother lived with me, my husband, and my son. I was caregiver to the three adults plus worked a third shift job. I had absolutely no help from the family. Has OP or her parents ever volunteered to actually help with his care? My health is completely in the crapper now and I am disabled because of all the stress I put on myself physically and mentally. She is not abandoning her husband she is just trying to better the quality of life.

[@candicewaits9271]

How dare those parents and sibling try to negatively think about the sister-in-law like that! Being a caregiver is serious business. It is mentally, physically, and financially tiring from personal experience. Who do they think they are for judging her like that? Ugh...they're ridiculous.

[@Weirdandwonderfull19]

Story 2 - OP is definitely TA. I recently escaped paralysis, I'm SO lucky to be able to use my legs after a severe spinal condition and emergency spinal surgery 8 weeks ago. I'm not allowed to bend, lift, twist ect for another few weeks. I'm fortunately blessed with wonderful friends to help me, but it's embarrassing and I feel like a burden. I wouldn't feel that way with a carer, as they're literally getting paid to do this. I feel guilty (but also extremely greatful) for taking up my friends time asking for help with silly things like sweeping my courtyard or carrying shopping. Maybe the brother, who is actually paralysed, feels the same way, and is happy to have a carer? His wife needs to look after her mental health too, it must be exhausting being a carer 24/7. OP is pretty awful.

[@guldobean1217]

Story 2: As a person who is eligible for SSDI (Disability benefits in the US) it's often barely able to cover living expenses for the disabled person. The SIL is getting a job/career because those benefits are not enough for both her and the husband to survive on. Often times, those benefits are around $1000/a month. If Op isnt ok with covering all of their financial problems not covered by those benefits, on top of the mortgage they wanna hang over the head of SIL then they to stfu.

[@OZARKMOON1960]

#2 - how much relief does OP and her parents give poor SIL? 24/7 every fucking day - no matter who you are taking care of - is a lot. it is overwhelming. there is NEVER a break. Ever! SIL may absolutely adore OP's brother, but she needs to make sure she (SIL) is healthy - physically and mentally - before she can care for anyone else! think this makes OP and parents are TAs.

[@darlieoneeleven]

Baby name: I just told the nurse when we were alone. She did the paperwork and brought all paperwork to be signed to check out at once flipped though and showed where to sign. When he asked about naming her the nurse said "You just did." Then left

[@RockinTheBassGuitar]

Story 1: op should just leave the lights alone. It also might help op to talk to the family about how he's feeling.

[@lux0rd01]

Sounded like he'd kinda tried that and just got in trouble for "skulking around in the dark"

[@lunaticbz3594]

No he has to turn the lights on or there's a shadowy figure moving around in the dark scaring everyone else. Except he doesn't know if he's turning them on or off... So possible solutions he needs to stop being blind, or lights need to stay on, or he needs to go. *edit* Or they could just talk it out like reasonable people just listened to the update.

[@tamsel814]

@@lunaticbz3594 or just say hi when entering a room and the occupants can say hi back

[@ToughBeifong]

The first story triggered me so much. I am in a very similar situation. I went completely blind in 2016 and it was a huge adjustment for me and my family. I realized that there are just some things that my family will never understand about my disability. I can argue with them till I’m blue in the face and they still won’t understand. I do agree with others though that it would be best not to even bother with light switches. That’s what I do in my own house.

[@yobabycolin2933]

Story 2: How about OP and her parents start taking care of OP's brother? YTA.

[@browhattheactualfu-2659]

B-b-b-but they paid for the mortgage ☹

[@desireeloveros1055]

How is she financially irresponsible if she’s going back to work?

[@ScooterBond1970]

The one comment calling OP and idiot was spot on.

[@thomasjoseph5876]

Somehow I don't see the level of care by them being very good if the OP and family took over the day-to-day care of him. While I would be going with a professional caregiver, they may want to start to prepare him for the inevitable. His wife is starting the process of wanting to check out of the marriage. Gaining her private time and some semblance of financial independence is just the beginning. She is going to want to start going out with workmates after work and will be meeting a bunch of new people, including men and she will eventually see going home as a cumbersome chore. It happens, right or wrong, but eventually, she will slip away and want out of the marriage and the chore of taking care of her husband when she gets home. She will want the "normal" life of what a married couple have instead of what she has now and will have for the rest of her life.

[@desireeloveros1055]

@@thomasjoseph5876 Statistically women are less likely to leave their partners after illness or injury. It seems like caregiver burn out and honestly getting a job and hiring a carer seem more logical than relying disability checks. Especially since it’s seem they’re struggling financially.

[@Weirdandwonderfull19]

First story made me sad. I want to give OP a hug. So happy about the positive update. 🖤💜.

[@MarkNarrations]

Me too, the thought of him having to sit there and wait for family to start moving is sad in what is HIS family home too 😢

[@andysixxstalkerangeloftrag5833]

That is so stupid, why is something as simple as flipping a switch such a bother to the seeing? This guy cannot see, he is trying to keep up the light switch rule but their stupid ambidextrous light switches is going against him. Trying to HURT OP with a book?? For trying to do what he is told?? Every single member of that family needs to line up. Even the women. That's appalling.

[@callmema14]

Mark, I lost my mom (64) in 2020 and was her caregiver. I was 27 at the time. I feel your comments on story 2. Caregiver burnout is real and the loss of dignity that chronically I'll ppl face. 💔🙌🏾

[@delmaplain6823]

YTA! Until you are in your sister in laws position you have no right to judge, nor do your parents! You owe her a huge apology!

[@ultimatefree8637]

22:24 As a Junior I can safely say this isn't always true. My Dad has took me on many trips across the country so I can learn and experience new things and is always willing to take me to new place. He not perfect, but I wouldn't called him egotistical.

[@lsilvaeditor]

Last story: NTA, but you can have two middle names, there isn't a rule where you can have only ONE middle name, and in fact it would make it a bit easier in paperwork (only slightly) to tell which one was junior and which one was senior by the added second middle name.

[@SparDanger]

Exactly! My younger sister has 4 middle names! There's no real limit far as I know!

[@Flakey101]

@@SparDanger I went to school with some one, where the father named his son after every person in his favourite football team (soccer) at the time of his birth. He hated it and had to have an exemption for exams. He was allowed to turn papers over early with a piece of paper to cover the questions to enable him to write all his names out, while a teacher watched him.

[@badkitty4922]

Twins are all over my family, and even in some spouse's families. One sister had fraternal twins (one boy, one girl), she and BIL came together on their names with a Jr for my nephew, and a combo honoring their moms for my niece. Nobody gave them a hard time.

[@pickle_pup8187]

Story 3 - OP needs to have someone like her sister to hold onto the paperwork after birth in case OP is incapacitated after the birth ie from meds or asleep. The husband could push the names he wants if she isn’t awake/aware.

[@justine8387]

We remember when you were caring for your Dad, that's when we started Waffle gang. We were happy to be here to listen to you waffle because we grateful to offer you care and support during such a difficult time.

[@Tammohawk1]

1. NTA WTH? How is OP supposed to know if the lights are on or not? 2. YTA First off, OP is very ignorant in the ways that Social Security works. The money OP's brother gets won't pay for the care provider, his medical benefits that come w/his disability pays for it. She needs to be in her sister in laws shoes for a few days and see what it's like. It's physically, and emotionally draining.

[@Mama_Bear_of_3]

Story 1. "What we've got here, is a failure to communicate," (Cool Hand Luke, 1967). So happy that OP and his family were able to start working thing out.

[@Jinnilith]

The caretaker story made me so mad. I was the primary caretaker for my father and uncle during their end stage cancer treatments and it is EXHAUSTING. I never got to spend quality time with them because of everything I had to do for them, but everyone else’s judgy asses did. Don’t get me wrong, I’d do it again in a heartbeat. I loved them both. But people act like it’s super easy but never offer to help.

[@katsukibakugan9490]

story 1: "Well you seem to have difficulty with this" hey OP's sister? they literally have no fucking way of knowing if the light is on or off. They're BLIND.

[@fabiola4166]

i swear mark has carried me and my ADHD brain through the semester, I HAVE to study to mark's videos by now. I managed to Pavlov myself into studying to this videos

[@justine8387]

Me too, for leaving for work.

[@dustyrose192]

i wonder if i can make myself clean the house whilst listening to mark

[@Chaoticbunnii]

He was my only friend when I moved into my last apartment 60 miles away from my hometown and friends for college. I would have him playing on the TV while I cooked, cleaned, meditated, or just relaxed around the house. Kept me company, and helped me with my anxiety a lot. Now, I’m weeks behind on videos because life got in the way, hence why I am commenting on this comment 3 weeks later. But the binge listening has given me comfort in a time where my anxiety and depression have kept me down and feeling out of it.

[@iwantsifegold]

This story made me cry that family is terrible. Why do people with disabilities always have to be the ones that accommodate everyone else?

[@theconfusedvampire]

Story 1: WTF?! I'm not blind and even I struggle with those switches. I once lived somewhere with THREE switches that controled the living room lights and it always stressed me tf out. Why can't they just cover up one of the switches with a poster or something????

[@jackiewepps4694]

Story 1: Had a feeling they were still very much adjusting to the situation. It's especially telling with them worrying about phrases such as "good to see you". My blind friend and I still watch anime, and we both still read audio books. I'm glad it's being solved and that the family is communicating. Communication is the only way forward in a situation like this. I think it's 80% of communicationthat goes through visually and the sight is the sense normal people use the most, so I assume it's also the hardest to imagine to be without.

[@jeanied8701]

We named our son Brandon but my husband's family couldn't get it right and I have a number of cards from them saying congratulations on the birth of Brendan lol and no it wasn't because that was a family name. They just hadn't heard of the name before.

[@princessaurora1111]

About story 1, NTA, my sister is blind and she'll sit in the darkness or have lights on that don't need to be on cause she wants to feel normal. We also don't use the second light switches, we even taped some of them off cause of accidental power port turning off, like how you have certain switches that turn on and off lamps, but we have plenty of lights and not enough electrical ports to have only a lamp on an electrical port lol

[@Lisapizzza]

I had to listen to the beginning of story 2 again because I thought I had missed something and he was actually in some kind of coma because OP didn't mention brother's opinion anywhere

[@chits28]

2 - Wouldn't have blamed the SIL even if she had given a tight slap to OP

[@Yemto]

Story 1, This is exactly why I like smart homes, since there is so many solutions to it. The one I can think of is having smart switches, that way regular lamps can be used and OP could just say "Hey google, turn the lights off", or with IFTTT have google say "Lights are now off" whenever they are turned off or on.

[@dandotvid]

With the invention of smart light bulbs and home assistants, the situation in Story 1 could easily be solved. "Alexa, turn on living room", "Alexa turn off master bedroom", you get the picture. Granted, not everyone has this in their homes yet, but it'd definitely be something worth looking into.

[@megamiet1210]

As a nurse myself, it is a difficult job caring for someone at home. It was really hard when it was a family member and I am trained for the job. The wife is smart to understand her abilities and desire for something better for her family. Your brother/son might be more comfortable having someone else do the job and get their relationship back on a usual track.

[@tinapetrovicz9741]

Story 3- I worked as an office manager for a small company. We had a father and son with the same first and second names working for us, both doing the same job (although the Sr was also Sr in his pay grade and experience). It was a paperwork and payroll pain in the butt. The son used his second name in discussion, but they had no legal differences in their name (no added Sr. or Jr) We took to bracketing the son's first name, but the father actually complained about it. 🙄

[@Louneyaoi]

Story 1: An other prime example of why communication is important. NTA

[@TraceyJeanne]

All the comments saying for him to not touch the lights are forgetting that they are screaming, being frightened by ahd even Attacking, OP Bc they do not notice OP in the dark . That’s one of the other reasons he’s even touching them. But it’s not OP fault and wtf is wrong with their family

[@WillTw12]

Just got home from school, doing homework, and now I’m listening to this :)))

[@MarkNarrations]

Thanks CWCT! Hope you enjoy!

[@beatrixthegreat1138]

Regarding the blind story, do they make light fixtures that say they are on or off so blind folk can turn off the lights when they leave the room? They make it so blind can enjoy the internet and pay for things without getting tripped up. They make doorbells for deaf too. It’s a light so they see it.

[@zachf748]

Story #1 - OP should just ignore the lights and light switches. Seems like a nice, easy solution.

[@axisdoesart4721]

Family: Ah! Its so dark in here! I can't see a thing! Op: oh no. What a nightmare.

[@browniewin4121]

1) Oh my gosh, how could your family treat you so badly for either turning on or off lights when you are blind and it is not something you should even have to think about. I suggest you simply do not touch light switches and they shouldn't expect you to. There are switches that are motion activated and would take care of this problem with the lights, the nastiness and lack of empathy and consideration is another issue. So sorry OP, NTA. After update: It's good you had a discussion and they now have a better understanding and can adjust their behaviour accordingly. I'm glad you now feel you can stay and continue the visit and that everyone is also wanting to deal with other issues to make for more family harmony. 2) Yes YTA and very much so. It is only reasonable that she get back into the work force. She is a wife not a nurse, it is essential for her and better for her husband to have a professional care giver. Shame on you for being so nasty, lacking in empathy, and butting into something that is NOYB. It is between her and her husband to decide these things, the rest of you need stop being so intrusive, ridiculously judgmental and critical. Just because your family give assistance does not give you the right to dictate how they live and to run their lives. 3) NTA. This is a decision that you need to make together, but how much of a controlling ego maniac is he to use his name in total for the son, and also think it should be only his choice for the name of the other child as well. PS, I have known several Juniors and they did not appreciate it.

[@celesteshearer5498]

Story 2: Speaking as a disabled person whose SO helps me with everyday stuff. It's already an awful feeling accepting that you need help standing up straight. But when your SO is the one helping? You feel like this totally unsexy burden and can't help but wonder if they're growing resentful for it. So yeah, big yes to that commenter who mentioned giving the brother dignity and keeping their marriage alive. Personally, I say all that matters there is if the brother also had a say in that decision. Did brother agree to it? Then I don't see a problem.

[@raebauer2422]

Second story: I briefly had to take over my Mom's care when my Dad went into the hospital himself. No one ever prepares you for the day, you have to lift an adult out of a wheel chair, put them on the toilet and wipe them. That's just one of the embarrassing, heart breaking situations we dealt with. If my wife hadn't been an aide in a nursing home as a teenager, I would have accidentally, inured myself or Mom, by not knowing the best way to move her, clean her and other things. I did hurt my back trying to help her sit up in a chair. She had no core strength and 95lbs of dead weight hurts when you lift wrong. Mom went into at home hospice shortly after this and the carers and hospice nurses are absolute angels.

[@Darlin_86]

The wife of disabled man should check with social security as if his doctor says the man needs a constant caregiver there maybe financial assistance for this but the caregiver cannot be related or they will not pay. This way family does not get burn out or have to give up jobs to care for loved one. Brother is major AH and needs to mind his own business

[@justine8387]

Maybe. Maybe she needs to not be a full time carer any more and that's ok too.

[@atinyevil1383]

Story 1: NTA “a couple of times my sister has brushed past me and turned out a light behind me, and when I thanked her, she sighed and said ‘well clearly you have difficulty...’” what kind of bs is this!? The guy is fucking blind, man! You’re giving a guy shit because he’s blind? What’s wrong with you? And this is his *family*! Like, I know family isn’t always the best, but really? This bad? And one of them even threw a book at him! A book!

[@Mimikinn]

That third story made me so mad. I’m a 30 female and for the past 4 years I’ve been the primary caretaker for my elderly father (81) who suffers from dementia. It is the most exhausting and draining thing I’ve ever had to do, and I’ve become a very tired and impatient woman. OP’s SIL has all my sympathy and I hope she gets the dream job she always wanted. And I hope OP realizes she’s in the wrong and actually tries to lessen the workload on SIL. She’s ignorant and arrogant but I think she truly loves her brother and wants the best for him. She’s just gotta apologize first and own up to her mistake.

[@asmith8692]

You might want to find a support group for yourself, if you haven't already. Also look into care homes in your area. We eventually had to do that when my older sister became unmanageable during her dementia.

[@broken_queer_but_fighting8589]

Whoever is reading this i send hugs and great vibes. Drink water, eat food, nap, take a break, take care of yourself gosh darn it. And if you don't I swear I will find you and keep you in a cottage and take care of you. 🤗🤗💜💜🤗🤗💜💜🤗🤗💜💜🤗🤗💜💜🤗🤗💜💜🤗🤗💜💜🤗🤗💜💜🤗🤗💜💜

[@katiesmith2031]

Hugs and great vibes back 🤗🤗💙💙🤗🤗💙💙

[@broken_queer_but_fighting8589]

@@katiesmith2031 💜💜🤗🤗💜💜🤗🤗

[@kristintassos2741]

With the last story, my 1st husband named all 3 of his boys, from his first marriage his first and last name, the oldest being a Jr. The middle son passed away at age 23, but the other 2 both have changed their names. Their father is a real piece of work

[@melanellie_art]

He gave three kids the same name? His own name? How the hell did he expect that to work o.O

[@SparDanger]

Sorry for the loss of the 2nd son.

[@kristintassos2741]

@@melanellie_art he used their middle name

[@kristintassos2741]

@@SparDanger Thank you, it was very hard on my youngest daughter, they had just reconnected after years.

[@SparDanger]

@@kristintassos2741 You're welcome. Sending sympathy.

[@angelbechtol7873]

Heyo Mark! Just finished my first round of finals in Community College! Cant wait to do this a 100 more times before graduation lol, I hope your doing well and that youve had a lovely day :)

[@MarkNarrations]

Hey Angel, progress is progress my friend, be proud of yourself. You have a great day yourself :)

[@BubblyTeatime]

If I was OP in story 1 I wouldn't even bother to touch the lights. Just tell people that if he's the only person in the room they don't have to keep the lights on for him. Sure he might spook people when they turn the lights on and he's suddenly there but that's easily solved with a little blinky light they sell for dogs. He can just clip one to his shirt or a bracelet keychain and just wear it around the house. Doesn't involve electricity at all so his dad shouldn't have any complaints.

[@StrangeSpark]

I don't like "Juniors" and if you name someone with family/friend names, make sure there are middle names and/or several nicknames they can use, i.e. Annabeth Rose Smith was named after Aunty Anna, Grandma Rose and Great Aunt Beth, but has her own unique names. Or add in an extra middle name to distinquish between the father and son; the father is called Jack Daniel Smyth and the son is called Jack Daniel Jacob Smyth. I have the same names as people my parents were friends/family with and it's actually made me resent my name. I can't really go by nicknames either, as my first name is too short and doesn't have any good nicknames and my middle name was fairly popular and a load of the potential nicknames were already used.

[@MydieLy]

Story 1: OP should take his family out to a Dinner in the Dark kind of event. So that they have a better inkling of what life is like for him. Could be a bonding Event

[@angelastice5516]

My son has retinitis Pigmentosa and started losing his vision in his early teens. So we understand the difficulty adjusting our whole lives to his disability. That being said it isn't an excuse for either party, sighted or legally blind, not to do their part to accommodate everyone. We also have a household that has multiple switches for each room. Easy fix, and was a no brainer that each light switch unit is to be turned a certain direction to indicate off. But mistakes do happen where people brain fart especially having a toddler in the house. If the light is accidently switched off on us the people affected break out in song "Hello darkness my old friend" and we all have a laugh about it. OPs family sounds like a bunch of self centered ableist that can't think past their own heads up their ass. Someone getting jump scared accidently,, that sounds like a you problem that shouldn't be taken out on the one at a disadvantage. P.S. F the mom guilt tripping the son about her health problems when she isn't doing much to address her own child's.

[@princeslimeyboy4265]

Thanks for making reservations vids dude! I pretty much binge them when I’m not watching what we do in the shadows 😂 haha

[@runethfc]

3:17 i got a legit shock there lmao 😂

[@MarkNarrations]

Haha rarely get to use that sprite and this was my time! :)

[@lorifiedler13]

#1-OP should tell them he will no longer touch the switches.

[@theacornsystem6108]

Story 2’s op is absolutely insane and definitely doesn’t know how little social security really is, it’s not enough to live off of, it’s just not, sister in law shouldn’t absolutely go back to work since thank god she can! Not everyone can and not everyone on disability have access to people who can work and help with their needs

[@brigidtheirish]

It *can* be enough to live off of (I do it), but I wouldn't recommend it, especially if trying to support more than one person. I suppose it depends on the area, too. I'm lucky enough to live in one of the lowest cost-of-living states in the country along with being used to pinching pennies all my life. Grew up poor, Mom grew up poor, and *both* sets of grandparents grew up in the Great Depression. Us kids used bread bags on our feet so we could use our winter boots a bit longer even after they started leaking. I guess some people would be horrified to live like that, but to me it's just what we did.

[@se4307]

A support worker isn’t overly expensive. They barley earn a living wage.

[@oakenshadow6763]

"You have difficulties." And she has internalized disaphobia. I'm glad that they came around. But they do have internalized biases that need addressing.

[@luvondarox]

S2 I have rarely felt such contempt for an OP.

[@EllieC130]

Story 1: I’m glad it all worked out. I’ll admit I didn’t read their comments quite as malicious as some people did. Worthy of apology? Sure. But even the dad’s “don’t let it happen again” sounded to me more like he just let something out to try and break the awkwardness once he realised OP had done it.

[@Ann_Wall-Chiasson]

Story 3: My name's actually a recycled name. It's a combination of my aunt's middle name and my mom's middle name so no real problem there; however, my dad was the 5th man in his family to have his name and I do remember him having some issues because of it.

[@LaineyBug2020]

Last story: I would just let it go until time for birth and decide you only want someone from your family in the room instead of him and instruct hospital staff he's not to go near the paperwork as you aren't married. Also make sure your birthing partner has power of attorney for you in case something goes wrong so they can name the kids.

[@helookalikaman79]

Make the family blindfolded (Or glued shut like Jamie Fox did, so no cheating) so they can walk in his shoes, so they can be blamed for "Sneaking up" on others in the dark. etc.

[@CrookiNari]

As a disability care worker, it is hard, and you need to take a hard look at yourself and be honest about whether you are capable of handling that load. And it's far better to say no you aren't and pass it on to someone who can because otherwise the person isn't getting adequate care and no one is happy.

[@rosaazure]

1st story - OP's family should try indoor motion sensor lights. Problem solved.

[@Tyanna01]

Story 1: "well you're clearly having difficulty..." boiled my fucking blood. OF COURSE he's having difficulty HE'S FUCKING BLIND. He probably has difficulty with driving now too....gonna point that out too? What the actual fuck.

[@fangchick93]

I'm a sap so I absolutely love a positive update with communication and understanding

[@LilChuunosuke]

Story 1 was making me so mad that I was shouting at my computer. How the hell are they supposed to know?! They're BLIND! They're flicking the lightswitch off and *don't know it's turning the lights on because THEY'RE FUCKING BLIND!* The amount of DISRESPECT they are treated with for something they have zero control over is fucking atrocious. If I was OP, I would tell that family that I will be ceasing all contact with them until they apologize and learn to not yell at them for things out of their control caused by a disability.

[@justaperson4656]

I'm disabled, as is my mother. We live together, we both get PIP and UC. We get by, we don't thrive. I want to be able to thrive, I want to be able to have disposable income. I can't blame brother or wife for wanting the same. Good for wife for improving her situation

[@itrasheditgood]

I’m a Personal Support Worker and work with people who still live in their own home. People ask me how I can stand this job, I always say, I spend a set time with each person, generally I help with showers, getting people dressed and ready for the day, but it is family that stay with the individual 24/7. This includes: spouses, sons, daughters, grand children, siblings, aunts, uncles, grand parents and occasionally friends. These people are the real hero’s and deserve the recognition because it is a tough job. Burn out is so common. There is no shame in getting outside help, that’s why organizations like the one I work for exist. I think OP is an AH, maybe Op and mother should volunteer a few hours per week to give the sister or is it SIL a break. I’m sure any help would be appreciated. If she needs to get out of the house to work, then everyone needs to respect that. This is not a case of neglect this is a case of someone trying to do best for their family.

[@tabithadearth7507]

I wonder if there are stickers that have braille on them that say on and off on Amazon or something so they can place the stickers on the light switch covers. That could help OP and it could stop the family from having to help.

[@lewischase]

Good evening Mark Good evening everyone

[@MarkNarrations]

Hey Lewis, how are you doing today my friend?

[@BritInvLvr]

Story 3 reminds me of my husband who named his youngest from his previous marriage after him. Which would that one the fourth, since my husband is the third. Imagine his surprise when that child came out as transgender! She changed not only her first but also her last name. My husband at first didn’t understand why she did that. He eventually got over it. Names aren’t important, the children are.

[@michellemo7552]

My dad has gone blind over the course of my lifetime and light switches is so far down on the list of issues that can and have happened. I would be more worried about people moving things leading to you tripping/being unable to find things.

[@hugdispenser5627]

Story 2: I had to give my intake cause it’s been months and I’m still in burnout. Anyway so for me it’s completely different; it wasn’t a disabled humans but 4 baby kittens. I kept them in my room after we lost their brother due to a household accident back in late October. For about 3 weeks I kept them in my room 24/7 with only letting them out during the day in the last week. Let me tell you, my mental health did not survive. Besides grieving the lost kitten that I held the body of and failed to save (the thought of it still makes me cry) I was 24/7 responsible of not letting them leave the room. If I tried to only leave my room when they’re sleeping. I had to make sure everything I possibly needed I had with me (router, phone, headphones, trash bag, etc). One of the first times I left the house during that time I broke down sobbing. I couldn’t change without four kittens screaming at me. I couldn’t sleep. I couple barely eat cause I’d leave my room once a day for a few hours. I couldn’t even shower cause my bathroom wasn’t working so I had to plan going out to shower and coming back in the room. Every time one or all would slip out of the room and rush to the adult food plates outside my room and I’d have to chase them with everything in my hand if I left for food and with my towel if I was showering. It. Was. Brutal. I broke down crying so many times. They’d be meowing all day and night and I’d let their mom in for a bit then let her out for a bit. And the more they meow, the more she would. And I felt like I was going crazy cause all I heard all day was constant meowing. I love these kittens. I do. They’re amazing and adorable and I’m blessed I get to have them for another week or two before we adopt them out. But I’d be lying if I didn’t say they broke me. They roomy broke me. And those are only 4 healthy kittens for 2-3 weeks. The SIL had to adjust to taking care of a disabled husband for so long. (I already forgot how long, I’m still having audiovisual flashbacks of the meowing). I can only imagine how much that is. I’m not a stay at home mom. Not in any way. I’m merely staying home cause we couldn’t sign me up for college this semester so we’ll try this upcoming one. And when I tell you, I’m losing my mind form not being around people my age due to the pandemic first then this, and it’s only been 2-3 years. For the SIL it’s since she decided to become a sahw. I can’t imagine how isolated she feels. Trust me isolation burnout is a thing and it fucks you up (first hand experience). Honestly my heart goes out to SIL and OP and her parents are all TA cause the SIL is obviously struggling besides just money issues. And not one of them asked if the Brother was feeling satisfied with the plan. Awful.

[@sgttdghhj3612]

Mark, you are a real belter of a bloke. An absolute corker, you crack me right up on the regs with your sassy little one liners. Such a spicy fellow, I'd love to give you a knowing look as we catch eachother curtain twitching on the radgy neighbours.

[@JSainte17]

"The junior route is sexist!" Reddit really is the worst. Don't hear her calling it sexist for OP to want to name the girl after other girls in the family. The audacity of telling someone they shouldn't put up with their husband telling them what name to pick while also shitting on their choices.

[@calliewalsh7058]

People who think a spouse ought to stop being a spouse and instead be full time care giver for a long term disabled spouse are some of the most ignorant and abusive people in existence in my opinion. How are you supposed to be a nurse then flip a switch and see that patient as your spouse an reverse. It's inhumane, for both spouses. And I'm speaking as someone who has watched several couples I know go through this transition of long term disabilities (accident, MS, MD, cancer, and Huntington's to name a couple). Even making that mental transition for a short term disability after my husband broke a leg and both arms in a car accident took a huge toll on our marriage. Spouses aren't care givers by default, they are PARTNERS and rarely can the twain should meld.

[@QueenOfTheZombieApocalypse]

There is some MAJOR sexism happening in story 2, holy crap.

[@janmots2829]

Story 2: OP is the AH, he's basically saying the wife has to stay at home look after the husband & not be allowed to work even though having a job would benefit them both financially. As a carer myself for my 2 elderly parents, I'm lucky that my mum gets professional carers to look after her. I take care of most of the household chores, shopping etc. with no help financial or otherwise from anyone. I'm still exhausted most days and it can be very frustrating too because my dad is starting to show signs of dementia. Until you've walked a mile in someone's shoes don't judge..

[@melaniecolon4028]

My brother wasn’t even a junior, he just had my dad’s first name and it caused a LOT of problems.

[@fate_clotho9596]

Second to last story: It's SO VERY TRUE about Caregiver Burnout! I was my dad's sole caregiver, 24/7, (although he had a hospice nurse for a month pop in occasionally, or when ever I called her. Plus a nurse to bathe him once a week). His start down hill began on November 14, 2014 when he went into a diabetic ketoacidosis coma, (his blood sugar was over 1100 when he arrived by ambulance at the ER. I was told by an ER doctor.), he had T1D, had received bad news st work the previous week, and I don't know if he was trying to commit suicide? But he just didn't take his insulin at all for a couple of days. He LOVED his job! He was a workaholic, and it was his dream job. He'd also suffered a seizure, heart attack, and had vomited, which he aspirated, right as I walked into his ER room. He'd looked right at me, smiled and said; "There you are!" I had immediately grinned, since as he was being taken at by ambulance from our house, I was terrified! He'd come out of his bedroom completely nude, other than his old Jean jacket that no longer fit him, (I had just bought him a new one that fit and that had a warm woolen lining), in his wheelchair without his prosthetic leg on. My boyfriend had to get up for work and found him in the dark dining room, literally chew/sucking on the wooden back of one of the dining room chairs. My bf had asked if he was okay, but his words were garbled nonsense. So my bf ran and woke me up. I tried to check his sugar, he covered him with a blanket, the meter just read as "HI". I've NEVER seen that before. So we called 911. He was in the ICU for 7 days, then on the special Neurological floor of the hospital, as they discussed with me that he was brain dead. They did several EEGs over the next several weeks, while he also received dialisys. It really seemed like the more dialisys he got? The better his brain waves got. Until one Saturday I had to take my oldest son to the ER, Where he was diagnosed with Addison's Disease, (and I wanted to punch his dad, my ex-husband in the eye, because he thought our son was faking being sick and just being lazy! He almost died having an Addisonian Crisis while his dad and stepmother mocked his "laziness" and went on a trip to Colorado, leaving my sons, 16 & 18, at his house. I ripped my ex a new one after the diagnosis.), and returned back to my dad's hospital room at around 10:30pm. I walked in and hear; " Hey you!" I gasped and dropped my bag and ran to hug him! Then called my moms in Oregon, my Mommacita answered, so had her get my mom on, too, then held my phone up to My dad and had him say hi! They screamed with joy!💜 So NOT brain dead! In January he was moved to an LTACC, (long term acute care center), then to a rehab center in February. Then came home in May! He had an outpatient surgery to get his dialysis fistula on June 8, (my oldest sister's birthday, that's why I remember. I'm also weird and remember certain dates), but due t his kidney failure, he wasn't recovering from the general anesthesia very well at all. They kept him, with me by his side in the recovery room, for 6-7 hours after surgery. I started driving home, but literally two blocks from the hospital, he made a strange sound and Eden I glanced at gum, his head was completely flopped over towards me, and it was like he'd "spit up" saliva, like how a baby spits up, but saliva, but he wasn't breathing. I panicked and called 911 and pulled into a parking lot. This time, two days later, we had a doctor tell us it was too consider palliative care. But if he wanted to try dialysis, they'd support him, although it wouldn't extend his lie by mite than a couple of months. I just had tears streaming down my face as she was talking to me and Dad. He was quiet. I told him I'll support whatever choice he makes. But if he chose hospice, I wanted him home with me, Where he belongs. He said that he was tired, his body was tired, his mind was tired, and he was emotionally tired. He wanted to choose hospice. That he trusted me to find a great hospice company for him, (for nurses and medications, etc.), and I burst into tears and just hugged him. Also told him that now he gets to eat all the mango smoothies he wants! And ice cream! He came home that afternoon. I did the caregiving after having had 4 spinal surgeries including two fusions, too. THAT sucked lol my dad wasn't a very light fellow lol He passed away wrapped in my arms on July 2, 2015. It was the hardest, most emotionally and physically things I have ever dine. And yes, I did get burnout. And I'd do it again in a heartbeat. But the hardest thing I've ever find though was right months later on March 6, 2016. My oldest son died suddenly from Addison's Disease. Another Addisonian Crisis. My world crashed down around me that day. It's still shattered.

[@gypsygem9395]

I'm so sorry for your losses.

[@angietyndall7337]

The Dr. is 100% correct about cargivers. The majority of caregivers are females,statiscally speaking. Also,even those taking care of one's family members in hospitals, nursing homes, group homes; etc.,that are not family members statistically have high turn over rate too for the same reason family members have burn out,statistically speaking.