I Raised Three Children By Myself As A Widow

At 37, Nancy became a young widow, and a single mother to her three children. Resentment turned her into a difficult parent, taking her grief out on her young ones. We speak with Nancy and kids to find out how their relationship improved over the last decade.
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[@Demy26]

She has done a great job raising her 3 children.

[@karimabintekamal7746]

Nancy, this reminds me of my mother who also lost her husband at 37 with her 4 children. I never ask her how did she feel at that time. All i know is it was hard, very hard. Im holding my tears, Love for you and family..keep going❤️

[@mrs.farrellwall1325]

This video is really inspired My husband just passed away recently. I'm forced to be a widow at 33 years old, with 5 children age 12, 10, 7, 4, 6 month old. I just found out that I'm 15 weeks pregnant. In the beginning of every each day I told my self that "I can do it" and at the end of every each day I often ask myself "Can I do it?"

[@Averagebum21]

+ Mrs.Farrell Wall You can do it!

[@cloudyday1617]

Pls do not hesitate to seek all the help you can when you need it, from parents, siblings, friends, church, society/ government. This road will not be easy and you do not have to walk it alone.

[@cheyxnne]

You are so inspiring ❤️🤩

[@Tpillai]

We, as widow with children are invisible warriors to everyone around us. We fight everyday to provide stability and normalcy for our children. It's been 9 months since your post. How are you doing?

[@linnychern]

I cried watching this cause I reminds me of my mum and how prideful she still is as well. Most Asian mums have the same issues. But I feel like I know her better through this video too

[@jessicamong1586]

My mom was widowed in her 30s in a car accident. My father's relative were not help my mom, so her SG family went to MY & bring us back. And like all single family we struggled. My sis & I start working during our early teens. I never stop working since to finance my mom in her 80s with my sis taking care of her full time. Love my mom. 🥰

[@Becizzle]

Geez. Same. I was 39 with two small boys a 4yo and and 5 mo old. My husband died suddenly. Left in the morning and did not return. The first year was hard as hell. So hard to watch recordings during that time. I was so short with my oldest. Never said mean things but I was cold and not sweet. But it's 3 years now and it's hard.

[@potterhandable]

It is so heartwarming to hear the son Noah assuring his mom that she is good enough and she doesn't have to compare herself with others. That is so mature and sweet. I admire the courage and candour of the mom for raising struggles as a widow. May God give strength to you as you move to the next phase of parenting. 加油！

[@king4129]

What a good husband he made sure they had enuff money!!!

[@isabellaraylahrose570]

It really is not easy. Nancy is very upfront with the raw feelings she has with the difficulties she faced. Fortunately, their finances are in order. For many, it would be an immediate collapse of their financial situation and that would have been much worse.

[@gracenglw]

Nancy, thanks for sharing your vulnerabilities. It reminds me/us to be human, accept our imperfections and be gentle to ourselves.

[@lisatsen1556]

As a parent we really need to be vulnerable to our children. Learn to own up to our mistake and apologize is so important to preserve and grow our relationship! Parenting is hard even with a partner I salute all that has done it by themselves!

[@2129hours]

I lol when the Mum kept asking her son to clear his throat 😂. Eldest daughter is so pretty too, look like her mum. Wish them the best in their life.

[@fuzzymountain4381]

younger daughter is pretty too

[@OGS.Official]

They are all so beautiful, from the inside out! 😍

[@letterstoxoxo]

Hi Nancy and Family, thank you for sharing your struggles with us! It is not easy to share it with the public, and then get so many negative comments. I hope you know that you are improving as a Mother, and doing great. Although your journey with your children is not very smooth, at least you recognised the problem and slowly worked towards it. It is never easy to solo parent a kid, much less three kids that were very young. Take care! :)

[@Gehslol]

Agreed :) The fact that there was work done to improve (oneself, relationships, consideration for others) was very much commendable.

[@The-Oneness11]

She cares so much for her children even though the adversity. Wonderful mother.

[@joanned2743]

I come a similar background as my dad passed away suddenly , leaving my mum 3 young kids to support. I knew my mum had it tough but watching this video sheds even more light. Kudos to Nancy and her kids for sharing their challenges . For people who wrote about their house/financial background and comment they have no financial problems, they are only looking at the external. It is actually the emotional struggles resulting from a death of spouse/father that hurt even more. It takes years to recover emotionally. It is the grace of God that held me and my family through those tough times.

[@cadethumann8605]

As a man myself, it frustrates me when I see other men say that single mothers can't raise children to be fine adults. Well, what about mothers who spouse died, is away on something (like on a long business trip or at war), is incapacitated in some form (like illness), or abandoned his family? Many mothers don't ask to lose their spouse. History is chock full of mothers who had to raise children on their own, particularly with times of war. A mother has to know how to raise the kids on her own.

[@yingzhousoo4855]

Thank you Nancy for the very inspiring story. Wishing all mothers a very Happy Mother's Day!

[@user-yr6wk6us5t]

Hard to say what she said and to be so vulnerable. May they all experience joy and kindness in their lives.

[@viviennefau9205]

I’m just amazed by how you would have the awareness to mend the relationships, truly it’s the grace of God and angels are watching you. 🙏

[@contemplatinggod2791]

You have done well for yourself m’am. Your kids have become understanding of your plight and that is the most important thing. Some two parent family do not even exhibit this sorts of cohesion. Welldone sending love to tour family.

[@ivany3143]

Thanks to the family for sharing so openly and generously. They are an inspiration.

[@jovenaloon4035]

"you are good enough".. I'm sure that pulled on the heartstrings of the mum

[@TST1234]

Hard life, but beautiful life. Go on.

[@mtpei3006]

Reminds me of my mum. Reminds me of a lot of deep seated resentment that cannot be resolved because it's impossible to talk, because she is always right, because her life is always harder. It's just accepted that life will go by without anything being said. Oh well.

[@traipsing__around]

this was so beautiful, thank you for sharing your family with us!!

[@dominiclim0601]

Kudos to you on raising 3 children all on your own! Pray that God continuously show his favour in your household :)

[@rafims9425]

I went thro the same path. Widowed at 39 with 3 young kids.

[@badboi888]

At least they are financially stable when the husband passed on

[@lalalalaland84]

They seem very well off. That house in sg would be in the millions.

[@OEL35]

What in the world are these kind of comments? Atrocious. You don’t care about her plight. She has lost a lover and her children lost their father. As if this wasn’t worst for her, “at least they are financially stable”?!? She’s talking about her grief and parenting alone. Regardless of their SES, ppl can still grieve and experience difficulty. You guys lost the entire point of this video and still dare input really dumb comments

[@OEL35]

@Khai Ridzwan thank you.

[@jarenong]

Ya lor wtf so rich all still want us to pity her whattttttttt

[@miram2053]

​@@lalalalaland84 because her and her husband made different choices or had a different upbringing. She shouldn't feel bad for having a financially stable life. She can still grieve.

[@angmokiafren]

Amazing family! Stay strong!

[@jasminesoh]

Didn't expect to cry in the morning. Thank you for being honest with yourself.

[@caleengoh5889]

This is such a great video. Loved it and I think the mum is doing such a great job. You are a wonderful woman ❣️

[@8krach]

I know saying "Stay strong" isn't appropriate but this Mother is the epitome of a strong woman 💪

[@onlythetruth2063]

Hi from New York USA 🇺🇸 thank you for your honesty I was a widow at 46, my twin boys were 7 at the time, my husband died 2010 & my life is still such a struggle, I still secretly cry for my heart is still broken thank you again

[@audrylow7579]

God bless you all. I see lots of love, affection there. You have two wonderful daughters, and an affectionate son. Wish you all happiness.

[@AmandaChangzh]

sending love auntie nancy!!! still as beautiful as ever

[@Iworkwithnitwits]

Her children are amazing.

[@lowhuiphing]

Very good kids. Lucky you! Mum, strive to be happy

[@CosmicErrata]

Oh the feels. The FEELS.

[@salmahaji1552]

I cried cuz I relate to this family so much my dad died when my mom was 38 and she had a pride in whatever she does even raising us and she doesn't let us do one mistake it's as if she is a perfectionist and controlling if I can say that .I don't really remember in 11 yrs if she ever told us tat she loved us or sorry for her mistakes ans sometimes we argue even tho I try our best not to cuz we know that she is dealing with something BIG ( we are 7 kids so u can guess the bills,the fees)even tho i wished tat she could tell us that the the going with her life ans her struggles . But now I think that she does taht because shee wants to look strongest I think she would look stronger if she shared her problems with us

[@CapDingo1975]

No words. Just ❤️

[@alejandrogarcia6187]

Hi thanks for sharing. I lost my wife now raising four children. This has been very helpful.

[@michellequinn5941]

Thank you for this. It is exactly what my family has gone through since losing my husband in 2021. I also have three children. Oldest is a girl then two boys.

[@yvonnealexy]

Always thought it was only hard on the children when if both parent passed on. which happened to my best friend when she was in primary sch. She had a younger bro who is 1 year younger. Her 2 older sisters went to work after they finished their JC and poly early on and help support the family of 4 without their parent. When they were teens and young adults they even took in their sick grandma into their home as she needed someone to watch and change adult diapers. She later passed on. I saw how that all had to adult very early on and be mature on life.

[@yen7315]

Wow

[@trevorclausen2994]

Beautifull beautifull family

[@tihokoturr007]

Yes Nancy reminds me on my relative who is feisty and tremendously stubborn !!! If certain things was hard then Nancy & expecially my relative should have hire home helper,babysitter to get a breather...but from my own experience Asian Oriental women they look life though prism of €€€,save,save horde more €€€.This is the root of their explosive unhappiness ! Life can be enjoyed more in small treats !!!

[@naizies]

amazing

[@xxy5757]

Aww bice nice nice nice pastor!!!

[@forcetan5573]

done a great job raising 3 children.

[@badending9533]

Felt the boy in that statement. "I don't have a dad."

[@deesong6722]

The kids are so mature and thoughtful. Love this story. I wish them all the best!

[@bryanongty4511]

Stay Strong

[@rickapicka5043]

wish my parents see this amazing video

[@Ramy-ql3tr]

I am a primary caregiver to my ailing mother, despite having siblings. I know how it feels to give away my personal life every day. I hate my life now and hope my mother will die soon peacefully. I want my life back.

[@pingguthegreat8556]

No I'm not crying TT_TT, you are...

[@Potomacstud]

I respect Nancy

[@sharingringanseputarkesehatan]

👏👏👏

[@ChirpyChat]

Great 'kids'.

[@xxy5757]

Oh she did i post the previous comment b4 reading it!

[@kentot2position]

I miss my mom

[@HdyaSalimi]

🥺🥺

[@easyrecipesanddeliciousfoo2954]

💖🌷💖🌷💖🌷💖🌷💖

[@hogspit9203]

this y i left home early i felt like a burden on my an lil brothers so i left plus i got sick of my mom mouth ....but i felt like they would have more without me around .....so i took care of myself

[@mamamememoo]

Is this Nancy whose story was featured on that heartbreaking “Letters to Heaven” series some years ago?

[@nataniajoytan2937]

Yep it is!

[@yen7315]

写给天上的你！？？有吗？？

[@markethand]

Ngl the house is damn nice siaaaa. And the children sounds soo mature. oof

[@ahbahsiao9612]

Whether the house is nice is irrelevant. No one can negate the suffering or hardship that she had gone through after losing a spouse. Just because she has a nice house does not make her suffering any less valid

[@klloh5012]

👍

[@anfield0109]

Every family’s has their own problems. The same goes to all single parents/divorcees out there. It ain’t easy at all. Some single parent is even more tough because it’s as though the other partner is non existent as good as dead despite being still alive if u know what I mean.

[@mwinchester66]

A drunk driver killed my husband almost a month ago, and left me with 3 little children. My 6 and 5yr olds are autistic boys, and a 1 yr old baby girl. I am badly injured from the accident, unable to walk and care for my children, we didn't have any friends. He was our sole provider. I'm left with a mortgage, a totaled unpaid car, with no job or formal education (he was putting me through college, I'm midway), and sometimes I feel like I'll go insane. The only who can help me (my sister) is not being allowed on an emergency basis into USA. I don't know what else could go wrong.

[@pokvictor]

Hope you are better now with support

[@ysngngys7753]

Can imagine how her life was when her hub was still around...

[@bchpls24]

2 hours to tie a tie? 😂 oh my. but be glad her husband is financially savvy. he prepared everything before he left.

[@clarddy]

wah the kids 3 6 9 very similar ah

[@joshthio00]

My cousin

[@xxy5757]

🤔

[@gh8066]

at least the finances were taken care of

[@xxy5757]

What finances when she live in a bungalow sia🤦🏻‍♀️😭

[@Honeymagmangospoof]

Ever considered remarrying? :) Her children should set her up

[@jo5128]

so well off :(

[@xxy5757]

Is she living in a bungalow

[@annieteo7169]

She could keep her landed property ( it seemed to me from.the video), that she is probably doing well with her decent job and salary. And assuming 1) both she and her late hubby were doing well into their careers before his passing, 2) property was bought long before their 1st daughter was born, 3) and at that point of time, property prices were low, 4) and insurance payout after her husband passing, 5) adequate savings throughout the years.

[@Alfiz88]

In all, she is well off financially as compared to the rest of the income earners here.

[@annieteo7169]

@@Alfiz88 ya

[@ahbahsiao9612]

Why does it matter if she has a nice house? Sure she may have it easier than those who are struggling financially but Having a nice house does not negate the struggles she has as a single parent after losing a spouse. What kind of house she live in is irrelevant

[@gh8066]

it is relevant, just imagine being in the same situation, but with no money. there, it's relevant.

[@syedmohamed3983]

Got Natalie number? Research purposes

[@temasekb]

Seems like they didnt have to worry about finances looking at their living conditions.

[@youraveragepasser-by7367]

Missing the point. Having to raise three kids without the breadwinner is tough for anyone

[@praba991ify]

First time ?

[@temasekb]

@@youraveragepasser-by7367 yes i know, but at least finances wasnt an issue. Imagine raising them w financial problems, that would be worst.

[@letterstoxoxo]

why are you downplaying her struggles? just because there's someone else out there who lost their significant other, and had to bring up their child with financial difficulties? this does not mean her struggles are not there, its there. everyone else is different. i hope you understand that.

[@abbylee7419]

@@temasekb what is your purpose of saying this? Just because she "did not" have financial problems , it does not mean she had it easier than someone else who did. For all we know, someone who had financial problems had an easier time with raising their kids as compared to her. So who are we to judge who is in a worse-off situation then? I dont understand why people like you cant just watch a video and simply empathize without forming any negative judgement.

[@xxy5757]

Hahahahaha u are so old but ok dot dot dot youtube la at tie🤣🤣🤦🏻‍♀️😭

[@yoloteh1585]

Waa...looks like u really have to lose something big(dad) to gain something better(ego down)

[@uzumakichakra273]

While she did a great job raising the children. I am deeply concerned that she ‘resented’ that her husband passed on. From cancer no less. Like damn dude, harsh much.

[@sunlightdavid]

Anger is one of the stages of grief. Everyone process things differently. She may not truly hate her husband but it's a lot easier to channel tt feeling on a subject than an object or situation. It's especially instinctive and natural for someone grappling with the loss of someone they envisioned to spend the rest of their lives with.

[@bubsbubsoohlalaa]

its normal tho for ppl to feel resentful when someone precious to them gets taken away from them at such a young age.. and tbh the husband prob resented having the cancer when he was alive too.. its part of grief like someone said

[@mysticcove3392]

Each to their own. To me when someone's gravely ill and they passed on that's a blessing for them no more pain and suffering. Although we're deeply in sorrow let them go peacefully. Definition of Rest in Peace. 💖

[@lq9734]

She was not being resentful towards her husband for the cancer, it was for everything she had to face as a consequence of that.

[@m03_m]

Struggle? Without a husband bah. There's many more windowed parent with more kids than her in real struggle. Please really go visit those stay in one room flat and see what struggle means.

[@yrtwo]

how she afford such a big house

[@yrtwo]

is it insurance payout

[@seeerr5979]

@@yrtwo possible

[@tngchinghwa]

@@JO-og5tp back then? it's only 10 years ago, stop putting people down cause they are more successful than you

[@chyu89]

What's the motive of this question?

[@firdaus125]

She got money = got big house. Solved your question.

[@lightspeed5098]

What nonsense this women talking ? Stay in so big home and talking nonsense

[@OGS.Official]

Thank you Nancy and family for sharing your story. If you are a widow and would like to receive emotional and social support to cope with bereavement and rebuild life, check out Wicare Support Group, a voluntary peer-to-peer support group for widows and the fatherless. www.wicare.org.sg/