I Read Onision's Entire Book

[@kitcatkitcat]

the first pages or whatever can be summarized into “i’m weird. i’m a weirdo. i don’t fit in and i don’t want to fit in. i am too intelligent for society to comprehend. i am surrounded by idiots. my name is light yagami, welcome to my ted talk.”

[@frenchy9870]

this comment gives me life

[@nightflairr2186]

“*you ever wonder why i wear this stupid hat all the time??*”

[@miachabaud]

r/iamverysmart ahaha

[@nightflairr2186]

Mia Chabaud lmao i give it 2 hours till we end up on that subreddit

[@kitcatkitcat]

Mia Chabaud onision is that whole subreddit personified

[@wintervaughan1565]

When I clicked on this video I was NOT expecting heterosexual traumacore Obama fanfic

[@AB-qt2kh]

This comment was a 1-hit K.O.

[@vrilnau5396]

@@AB-qt2kh Agreed

[@smileymctrashbag]

The straights are not sending us their best Onion boys.

[@Nitrolord]

@@smileymctrashbag The Onion man was merely a quality control error. Rest assured, we take great pride in the products we make here at StraightCo

[@AUGGHAHAHA]

Same here ;-;

[@meoueo]

"every character is Greg in a different wig" I died imagining that

[@faiths5338]

Gaia Semiglia , that’s basically his videos so that’s basically his book 😂

[@awoogaoogabooga3590]

Yep

[@florence5400]

I’m contemplating suing Æons for the years of therapy this will cpst me

[@HiiImTrash]

That's how I pictured what she's describing. I picture him in different wigs just like his videos 🤦😭😂

[@versaarchi]

When I heard that it reminded me of friendlyjordies

[@skepticmoderate5790]

"I read Onision's entire book." You shouldn't be encouraging self-harm.

[@mysteriousarcanum2769]

@@katatonikbliss bruh wtf😟

[@Star-vu8xo]

@@katatonikbliss sir this is a McDonald's

[@yowieyahoo]

@@katatonikbliss omg greg????

[@abfs5470]

@@Canned-Tomato-Basil-Soup the joke is Greg

[@Meleedroit]

@@yowieyahoo tf did they say??

[@Spyno41]

This book is seriously the "I'm 14 and this is deep" meme unironically.

[@BuddyHollyndaise]

Uncle Jimbo LMAOO

[@HowardSalinger]

Uncle Jimbo okay but it also feels like that “just another day in the life of Jemmy Nutrun 👂👁👄👁👂” video unironically

[@DaDewd2112]

Yeah, the pretension level is off the spectrum

[@magiconic]

@Zᴀᴛᴛᴇ Cᴏʀɪᴇ I'm 34 but act like I'm 14 and this is deep

[@ellav8064]

@@magiconic I'm 34 and I'm attracted to 14 yr olds and this is deep

[@fleshymeatsac9371]

"Now we have arrived at the school shooting scene" Wait what? "He took his roller blades off" Wait double what?

[@Only_Yours_]

FleshyMeatSac This may or may not relate to this but Lola is that you?

[@fleshymeatsac9371]

@@Only_Yours_ lola?

[@oddeyes9413]

Be kind to my mind and please rewind... to the point that Onision doesn't exist.

[@yourlocaltheatrekid900]

Odd Eyes94 onion boy*

[@beezerjamboree]

my man skates to a school bang bang shooty literally

[@pillsevans2947]

~Normal angsty book plot~ "Now we have arrived at the school shooting scene" THE *WHAT*

[@cottage-core_]

+

[@confusedaf1112]

Sounds like something Onision would write.

[@gabrielleeeSK]

@@confusedaf1112 he's the exact type of edgelord to do that

[@dizz4386]

You know a book is angsty when the school shooting scene isn’t even halfway over

[@courtneycronin5074]

Did u mean thirteen reasons why

[@summer_the_rae]

“I’m not convinced American public schools are this badly run.” One time a speaker came to my high school to talk about “overcoming his Tourette’s” (?). A bunch of students Googled him and found out he's a sex cult recruiter so they told the principal, and he had to apologize over the PA system for not doing any background checks.

[@atoucangirl]

did... did no teacher bother to like... do ANY research about this guy that they were inviting to speak at their school like... not even google his name for half a second?

[@froglegstastebestsalted]

At least he apologized

[@summer_the_rae]

@@froglegstastebestsalted yeah i guess, but the fact that he did ZERO background check before letting someone into the school speaks volumes to me

[@ShinyPrimarina]

I'm like very curious now who this dude was??? Did this news blow up locally??

[@bris.6258]

Was this someone local or associated with nxivm or esp? I’ve heard of former members shilling their own versions of the curriculum so just curious.

[@petitelitas]

Coming from a 14 year old, this sounds like something I would expect one of my close friends to write on wattpad

[@beefxuan]

@Thy Countess Haha. Fool! still on ff.net? Weak! Wait till you make it to A 0 3. It's not ready

[@buzzybeez204]

Honestly yeah

[@rebecca-kz8yo]

All of my friends did that when we were in middle school

[@madampawsy1903]

There was no need to tell us ur age but I mean :^> you're right lmao

[@hizkias2679]

@@beefxuan nahhhh ao3 is for good fics only

[@user-xh6cg7zf9h]

My favorite poem of all time: "I saw some blood, And my classmates are dead, But most importantly, there's a girl in my bed."

[@theos9793]

r/BootTooBig

[@expresionless953]

It's a crippled haiku (i think that's how it's spelled?)

[@alexv3357]

@@barrywhiteofnewyork5949 It's probably naïve to think that he would give head

[@mooncrumble9036]

@@alexv3357 So no head? **Slams phone, stomps skateboard**

[@KoishiVibin]

lel

[@Lavellanrat]

I want a movie adaptation of this book where everyone's played by onision in different wigs with a budget of 5$ and a rubber band

[@daniboy4153]

It would be a box office bomb, but have a cult following because people would make fun of it a lot

[@PosthumanHeresy]

Everyone played by Tommy Wiseau playing Greg doing it. It'll be far better made.

[@caisis4929]

You mean his channel?

[@Lavellanrat]

@@caisis4929 yeah but with crappy special effects

[@StardustLegend]

everyone being played by onision implies hiring onision and paying onision to film as an actor. Instead we should just hire tommy wiseau like PosthumanHeresy suggested

[@zanman3552]

I love how casually she says shit like “Rape” and “School shooting” just because this book is so damn over dramatic to the point that these tragedies have no meaning in this world he created.

[@arizonagreenbee]

It really drives home how little he actually cares about the problems he talks about

[@completely_normal111]

@@arizonagreenbee this

[@WillieManga]

Two terms for this would include "Shock Fatigue" and "Diminishing Return." It's why Agony failed as a horror game because there was no calm in it. It also failed as a game in itself because the gameplay was so boring, but that's another story. This fails to shock because Don Onion is proven to be insane already.

[@TheGallantDrake]

@@WillieMangashock fatigue, that was the term. Thanks!

[@TheBriBoat]

All the dislikes are onision in different wigs

[@justaneditygangstar]

TheBriBoat LMAO

[@evapt.2601]

i laughed wayyy too hard at this lol

[@christianityrules4192]

Damn 2.8k wigs

[@aukun4992]

When we see Onision on the courtroom and everyone watching is Kai and Greg is the Judge

[@itsmagdalenaaa]

I literally gave you your one thousand and hundredth like

[@kairea2152]

"Your bones are not shaking, Gregory." Is the most underrated quote in all of lesbian history.

[@goodoven8349]

m.kzbin.info/www/bejne/ranQaZ2Kr7qSbtE

[@pidgeoncrossing963]

Pugmaster 1316 this is .. threateningly scary

[@goodoven8349]

Karma Good.

[@hey_this_is_a_handle]

Pugmaster 1316 wow onision did that. That is super scary.

[@giovannialoisio4523]

I think "So... Obama's in this story now" is worth mentioning too

[@natsuki4021]

Her: The grammar is wrong, the plot isn't that great, the characters are poorly written, and some of the things don't make a lot of sense Greg: So you're literally making fun of my friend who died, apologise to me right now

[@shosty575]

🤣🤣🤣

[@capeck1993]

Someguy827: She doesn't owe you shit, you waterhead asshole.

[@vienowo]

Heʼs pulling a straw man

[@williambenton6254]

I don’t think he’s ever had a friend

[@thedietcokeofevil1100]

I have never seen anyone gaslight and emotionally manipulate as much as he fucking does...

[@UnicornLove5596]

So who's gonna tell him that trauma isn't a personality trait?

[@sexyapples5003]

I’m not gonna tell him bro

[@tristanhartup4936]

You can tell him, but he's not gonna listen.

[@Clownish.mp4]

I mean it would be a waste of time cause yk his skull is too thick for him to comprehend he isn’t perfect

[@RozehKakes]

@@Clownish.mp4 or that he has to make a severe amount of progress to be an actual functioning adult instead of an incredibly stunted teenager with trauma that definitely does require outside help including years maybe decades of healing but yea that wont process thru his alpha chad mind

[@ms.aelanwyr.ilaicos]

This is an attack on D&D rogues everywhere

[@tonnermi]

I love how Greg responded to this video by insulting her appearance instead of taking advice and acknowledging her opinion. Classy.

[@Xehanort10]

From what I've heard of him he seems like the type of manchild whose only comeback to criticism is "Yeah? Well you're ugly."

[@literallygaston2489]

Such a women-respecting feminist eh?

[@literallygaston2489]

amazing grill It doesn’t really matter tho. Insulting someone’s appearance isn’t ok(unless they started it first I guess), especially as retaliation to constructive criticism. It makes you look both weak and like an asshole.

[@whumpem]

@@literallygaston2489 you're completely right and I agree, greg has no point.

[@Ray-hk1zm]

@YourCommonLoser Ok I don't watch his videos so maybe I'm misinterpreting but did he actually make a freaking video rating the beauty of women on a scale of 1-10.

[@yusufkadar]

Me: KZbin's reccomendation system is broken KZbin: Wanna see a lesbian yell at an onion for 30+ minutes Me: *NEVERMIND*

[@karmatoses3326]

Yusuf Kadar 👏👏👏

[@sam-sx8fg]

breaking news; local lesbian yells at onion

[@clickytipsy7483]

This is my new favorite comment.

[@oliviafrank7463]

This video started it all for me. The obsession, the questioning of my sexuality, the desire to run away to Toronto. All of it.

[@spacean4832]

This is maybe the most relatable yt comment I've ever read

[@thefloweringinferno1170]

There’s like four characters in this book, Greg, not Greg, teacher, and Jock. Everyone is just a copy of one of those.

[@Bella-pb6uk]

The Flowering Inferno wait, don’t forget the cardboard female

[@thefloweringinferno1170]

Bella ah yes, I forgot

[@ishanisasdev3000]

"Not Greg" 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

[@Fluffkitscripts]

Can’t forget “barely sentient feeemoid love object”.

[@marshall9003]

And traumatized one dimensional love interest

[@julzbehr6696]

Imagine this book but it’s written from Abby‘s perspective. She suffers domestic abuse from her father and also gets raped. Then we see her psychological trauma. She tries to find comfort from the school counselor, but when she finds out she’s pregnant and gets an abortion, the counselor turns on her. She doesn’t know how to find support, so she rushes into an relationship with jock 1. she writes him that she wants everyone to disappear. The relationship is very abusive, and she just wants out. She sees Greg as her savior and rushes into an unhealthy relationship with him where she sees him as infallible. Then the shooting happens and we she blames herself because of that note. Her dad gets arrested for drunken driving or something, so she moves in with Greg because his mum allows it. She confines in the mum who suggests she gets therapy and then sets her up with a therapist. She begins to heal and notices the unhealthy relationship between her and Greg.

[@classichorrorenthusiast]

that... actually sounds like a really good plot-

[@zinkheroofyoutube8004]

I'd read that

[@kelbyjane2654]

i would probably read that

[@thequeenofcringe1585]

I would definitely read that

[@quailure5173]

a decent plot, but from a writing standpoint, its way too much trauma for one story. in writing, when those types of experiences are one after another after another, it loses its impact and gets tiring. after a certain point it starts to feel like a torture porn.

[@Ampher03]

“This girl’s life is just trauma bingo.” Best quote in the whole goddamn video

[@calh8209]

2326_543337 idk broski “he just rollerskates into a school shooting” is a banger too lmao

[@thebaIding]

"Every character is greg in a wig." is iconic

[@strawberrymagpie]

*_HELLO SON. COME HAVE SOME LENTILS FOR DINNER_*

[@overthinker5805]

Honestly every sentence in this video is extremely quoteable

[@alice-8566]

2326_543337 I feel like that’s my life lmaooo “trauma bingo” absolutely. My trauma list quote. “Don’t be shy, add some more”.

[@mckenziedavis6888]

Someone give this woman an award for actually reading this self insert nightmare

[@WannabeSkywalker]

Preach Also you notice that the narrator is a stalker and narcissist

[@Luke-zv6bb]

this video took so much effort

[@rollfizzlebeef5384]

She’s the hero we need, but not the one we deserve.

[@SoilderKrizer]

It sounds painful

[@MrSuperbeast92]

@@SoilderKrizer You think That's bad? Poor Jaclyn Glen pity dated the emo onion... >_>

[@ianwood5715]

The real question is who was the poor gay child that had a crush on Greg when he was in high school who got written into this book

[@im-here-for-the-cult-stuff]

Whoever they are I feel bad for them and hope they're doing well, and that they now hate the onion boy

[@Pizza23045]

@@im-here-for-the-cult-stuff if what onion boy says is true then he died

[@im-here-for-the-cult-stuff]

@@Pizza23045 True... Well that's sad...

[@Pizza23045]

@@im-here-for-the-cult-stuff yeahhh

[@jenniferoslowski6181]

It's kai

[@finalfroggitapproaches6418]

“I am convinced American schools aren’t run this bad. This has to be illegal.” In seventh grade, my bully of two years pulled a knife on me, pushed me against the lockers with the knife to my side and told me if I told on her again, she’d hunt me down and kill me. The security camera in the hallway caught it all. The vice principal told me and my mom that there was nothing he could do because “everyone is entitled to an education.” and maybe I should consider not going to the bathroom during class in case she was out in the hallway. Mom pressed charges against my bully and won. Also, my sister was also almost in a school shooting. (I had graduated from this high school three years earlier) The guy who had been beating up her and her friends sent a snapchat holding a rifle and the caption was a bunch of names and the date for the next Monday. My sister went to school early that day and cried with her friends, because she was sure that she was going to die once he showed up. I guess someone ratted him out because the police were there waiting for him once he got off the bus. He did indeed have a hunting rifle and a bowie(?) knife in his big gym bag. On a less “the school is at fault” note, my sister saw a kid die in outdoor education while snowboarding. He hit a bump wrong, broke his neck on impact, and died. At first, kids were laughing like “oh, haha Zach ate sh*t!” and when Zach didn’t get up, she said “there was this wave of ‘oh f*ck..’ that hit everyone all at once.” A lot of kids had to talk to the school councilor after that, my sister included.

[@halinaqi2194]

Rest in peace zach

[@echomikoart]

What the actual fuck, that sounds like a living nightmare

[@paradoxequinox4104]

@@echomikoart It's cause it is.

[@snesguy9176]

Yeah sounds about right. I got stabbed through my hand in 5th grade, during fucking class. I got a bunch of stitches, shit head stabber got a one day suspension. If I though about it long enough I could probably write out 20 similar ghetto school stories.

[@thisstatementisfalsenothin5312]

The most that happened at my school is that a kid tried to stab another kid with a pair of scissors And nothing happened to him Teachers sucked though

[@cicada.and.pomegranate]

The moral of this story is: Even if you are in an abusive relationship, and depressed and getting sexually assaulted, it can still get worse if your boyfriend is Onision

[@florpleborp2275]

Hünré It’s time to leave before your boyfriend *turns into Onision.*

[@godhatesme4055]

It’s time to leave before *you become onision*

[@ishanisasdev3000]

Omg 😂😂😂 i lost it at this

[@Anino_Makata]

If Onion ever becomes my boyfriend (which is never in any of the 46,000,000,724 alternate timelines of this univserse), I would gladly plant ten shotgun slugs into his skull before he even thinks about asking me what my name is.

[@prisoner9993]

@@Anino_Makata sounds like you like king onion

[@my_name_is_toast95]

"And then Obama told me i was a hero and the most amazing rollerblader alive"

[@MrSuperbeast92]

"And everyone stood up and clapped. I was then given the keys to the planet."

[@itsbunnz5295]

“And everyone clapped”

[@Jogjosmowwdkfs]

@Glitch In the System and then, while everyone clapped, (get this) everyone who was dead came back to life so they could clap too!1!!!

[@hanthonyc]

i saw this comment like 3 minutes into the video, and was *still* floored when the story evolved to this point

[@my_name_is_toast95]

@@hanthonyc the whole book is made entirely of climaxes and still managed to not be exciting or climactic

[@duxwontobey4887]

Abby be like "I was born with glass bones and paper skin. Every morning I break my legs, and every afternoon I break my arms. At night, I lie awake in agony until my heart attacks put me to sleep."

[@scribliez]

Amy thechubbylittlesatan i love that episode o f Spongebob im crying. It’s true tbh.

[@xpeachpuffx]

I'm a writer... and Greg's formatting is appalling. EVERY CHARACTER IN A PARAGRAPH GETS THEIR OWN LINE OF DIALOGUE EACH TIME THEY SPEAK. UUUUGGGGHHHH

[@ainastorm9056]

Greg be like: My friend actually was born with glass bones and paper skin, so you making fun of it equals to you making fun of my suffering friend. Think about that

[@shannonbriggs100]

5 words in and I instantly knew this was a spongebob reference.

[@michiganman215]

Bob Sponge

[@suetraptor2703]

the fact that the npcs have to be nice to greg because the writer deems it necessary reminds me of the ProZD skit "when you're an NPC whose script forces you to compliment the shitty player"

[@petermatchim1200]

Abby or abbi sounds like she could get adopted by one direction in a Wattpad fan fiction

[@masonbrushwood4242]

Peter Matchim PFFFFTT I- 🗿

[@anarchomando7707]

@@masonbrushwood4242 I think that's an insult to one Direction Wattpad FanFictions.

[@CountKatula]

Definitely! She also sounds like a “aw, man, dad sold me into slavery again!” Character lol

[@isiabet8049]

N O O N E I S S A F E

[@vicg.3829]

Why do I know exactly what you're talking about this is insulting-

[@throckmorton1507]

I love all the "then everyone clapped" moments lol

[@ihatemickiegee]

Throckmorton 😭

[@yemboy123]

The whole book is a giant r/thathappened

[@ijustwannacomment2179]

It has the "and they were roomates" vine guy energy

[@homeofsapiens5783]

Finally, I am reunited with Throkmorton, my skater cousin.

[@kellimoore6967]

this entire video sounded like a friend telling you about a fever dream they had. absolutely love it

[@ethansics9400]

That’s because it *is* a narcissist’s wet dream

[@mellomocha1251]

POV: your weird lesbian friend who you love talks about her dream for half an hour

[@Zorwoof]

omg ikr it sounds like one of the fever dreams i would have

[@whatthefridge1o1]

Same

[@whatthefridge1o1]

This makes it ten times funnier

[@LaLunaDeSangre]

Are we completely sure that this book isn't just an extremely exaggerated "Obama was there" meme?

[@arizonagreenbee]

Consider: This book, but with the weird prophetic Obama from Tumblr dreams randomly

[@inthegrass11]

then perish

[@Ryu1ify]

​@@arizonagreenbee You mean those dreams where he just shows up with a cigarette, says some poignant stuff, and wanders off?

[@finch4309]

this sounds like the fanfics that me and my friends write as a joke by passing the phone around and each writing one sentence so it ends up really dramatic and rambling and with the most confusing plot ever

[@morganhurlock8506]

This sounds like an epic party game omg

[@finch4309]

Morgan Hurlock it is lol. it’s fun at sleepovers at like 4 am once people are winding down a bit but still not asleep. you can do anywhere from one word each to like a paragraph each.

[@arealperson9673]

That sounds like it would write better than this book

[@finch4309]

Tankzilla1 Games, Guitar, and Random Shit yeah they end up pretty funny. we generally use our names for the characters. the first one we wrote was pretty much my immortals level though. it’s pretty bad. we put it on wattpad under the acct @oh_no_stop lol. we wrote it last year to pass time after we finished sback testing but before the day was over when we were just sitting in the gym bored.

[@allisonelizabeth6596]

@@finch4309 found it. Is it the one with surprised Pikachu as the profile pic?

[@bekahsue418]

sounds a lot like Onion boy fetishizes trauma victims.. thats all im saying...

[@vreaum]

it really does sound like that 🤔🤔🤔

[@CarbonCxck]

It absolutely is that.

[@Eevee_Haze]

I mean did you expect anything different from him lmao

[@Phillip_JT]

He loves to prey on young girls with troubled pasts, so he can swoop in as the ''white night in shining armor'' and ''save'' them.

[@theblackbaron4119]

He's insecure , so he tries to surround himself with as many broken people as possible. To look better in comparison. Also he suffers from the "protagonist of the universe" syndrome. He thinks that he's the only thinking and the only one that's selfaware.

[@artsycj9314]

*This book is just Greg trying to compliment himself through different characters.*

[@thequeenofcringe1585]

Aren’t all of his books, though?

[@giasharie274]

@@thequeenofcringe1585 I haven’t read them but I wouldn’t doubt it.

[@daniboy4153]

In a nutshell These books are just a way for Onision to stroke his own fragile ego

[@maddymantanona4348]

his real name is james so definitely

[@joshuarieder2865]

This is the literary equivalent of liking and agreeing with yourself with sock puppet accounts. Honestly, I wouldn't be surprised if he has done that already.

[@shadowdroid776]

I just realized this: This is a story about a marysue who's more powerful and traumatized than everyone else, who's dating a person that has issues with their past love, overly dramatic onomatopoeias, someone other than the main character doing shit while they just stand there watching, abusive parents and rape, and the main character is clearly a goth with a "nice and cheery" friend. This is My Immortal. This is what My Immortal looks like published.

[@blueshell292]

Self-published, just so that we're clear

[@coffeewolfproductions9113]

Honestly thats giving Onision too much credit, at least My Immortal was somewhat entertaining and was probably written by a 14 year old writing fanfiction in their free time and not a man in his 30s who thinks his books are hot shit.

[@lils426]

@@coffeewolfproductions9113 yeah, my immortal was endearingly bad. Onion’s book is just bad

[@kimgkomg]

@@coffeewolfproductions9113 is he actually in his 30s?

[@gokuxsephiroth4505]

To be fair, it is pretty much the same level of "Published" as my immortal is - no publishing company ever laid a finger on this

[@idontlikeyoulol16]

He’s basically just writing fanfictions about himself.

[@moonchild7172]

It's because no one does it so he has to boost himself you know 🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@idontlikeyoulol16]

Kitty Kat Hahaha

[@maiajoyb]

Honestly true

[@edswemissyou9186]

Karen why aren’t you at your antivaxx parade?

[@IX4W]

Even fanfics have standards.

[@twitch4220]

Can we talk about the fact that abbigale is his daughters name? *projectile vomits*

[@emperoroftheomniverse]

come again nigga?

[@xenon8927]

HE HAS A DAUGHTER? WHO AGREED TO BE WITH HIM?

[@twitch4220]

@@xenon8927 he has 2 kids with Kai 😞

[@twitch4220]

@@emperoroftheomniverse I wish I was joking.. Dude is a total creep.

[@xenon8927]

@@twitch4220 Who is Kai?

[@DrShaym]

He doesn't even format dialogue correctly. When a different character talks, you start a new paragraph.

[@apoof4528]

Yes! No matter what, you have to change the dialogue when a character speaks. Another error, he has super cold writing. He needs to use some descriptive phrases. Jesus.

[@carrotsaredumb7777]

Hey I'm subscribed to you

[@Max_Unknown498]

Yo what up I had no idea possums were literary masters. Jk luv your vids

[@remiliascarletmybeloved]

Oh hey it’s possum boy

[@bellatrixlestrange3891]

T h a n k y o u

[@Lincoln_Bio]

I didn't know who Onision was going into this, so the most shocking part was about half way through when it was revealed that this was written by a 30 year old man.

[@blueshell292]

I recommend the three videos going in-depth on Onision by The Right Opinion, of you wanna torture yourself.

[@Lincoln_Bio]

@@blueshell292 That is the very rabbit hole this video sent me on! Love TRO. These 'books' get ever more disturbing the more you know about Greg IRL, huh?

[@natmorse-noland9133]

If I were drinking coffee I would've spit it all over my phone at that revelation.

[@anti-usernamesaltaccount3623]

HE’S A WHAT

[@unhackerthelaziestbastardo6083]

@@Lincoln_Bio Like how he is talking about women and children, when he is a father. With a daughter

[@stardustsunset4776]

"Am I going to read any of his other books?" "N O" recommended for you: the next two books

[@stardustsunset4776]

I've watched this series so many times but I love it so much-

[@StardustLegend]

StardustSunset same it’s so addicting to watch dsahfjad

[@peterquayle8172]

I think this is my 4th or 5th time

[@ReiAnikaAyanami]

i've practically memorized these videos

[@peterquayle8172]

@@ReiAnikaAyanami Same.

[@iris5478]

the real hero here was the bus driver who saw a chance to save us from Greg and he took it

[@wandanemer2630]

Agree.

[@oublie-moi]

Yepp

[@left-2-write28]

The thing is, that makes infinitely more sense than the bus driver actually letting him off into the shooting for literally any other reason.

[@ihatetwinks99]

OFF TOPIC BUT I LIKE YOUR SHI QINGXUAN PROFILE PIC!!

[@iris5478]

@@ihatetwinks99 THANK YOU

[@Exceltiaawesome]

He has the mindset of someone who never left their edgy angsty teen phase

[@infiresman2974]

The accuracy is scary

[@lilacamaris518]

The fact that your user is “Sprite” and the other person who replied is “Infires Man” is really funny to me (I’m a fellow ARMY)- Also, this is terrifyingly accurate.

[@prodigycps8871]

@@lilacamaris518 I hate snakeu 🐍

[@nellfromhell7192]

Hey that's doing angsty teens dirty

[@theormostat]

i feel like the phase just got worse for him

[@ppapas6457]

"Vaguely woman shaped cardboard cut out of a person" is The best sentence I've ever heard

[@AnAwkwardBlue]

“I’m not convinced American public schools are this badly run.” …I was once recruited for a pyramid scheme at lunch

[@nnnnmhughuuhhjiijj9457]

So, after reading so many comments, I came to conclusion, that Greg has special talent to accurately portray American public schools, I guess that counts for something, Greg.

[@eebertdeebert]

You WHAT? Man America sounds weird.

[@sovietpotato6252]

Half my grade got sick after a lunch lady forget to wear a hair net.also I found a screw in my lunch

[@AnAwkwardBlue]

Starflower Yeah, definitely one of the weirder days. Basically, a guy with a clipboard was walking around our cafeteria at lunch recruiting for “a sales job.” I put my contact info down, they called me in for an interview after school, and it turned out to be a pyramid scheme. The whole thing was sus, but I’d assumed that my school wouldn’t let sketchy people walk around our cafeteria-I was wrong 🤷‍♀️

[@fireofdawn3515]

A teacher at the middle school bullies his students and shows them graphic brown recluse spider bites if he doesn’t like what they do and put boobs on a ghost on his fucking door. He was a shit human and shit teacher

[@guyofminimalimportance7]

Friendly reminder that Onision described his character in the book as a "better version of himself". This creep is supposed to be better than the real Onision...

[@guyofminimalimportance7]

@Alex Evans Yes. If you look at the descriptions of each book in the Onion Boy trilogy, he explains how all of them were inspired by his youth; and how the protagonist in each one is a different interpretation of himself. In this one the protagonist is supposed to be him, but better, so that he can do more dramatic or important stuff. In the next book, the hero's supposed to be "the worst version of himself" even though the book still portrays him as being smarter than everyone else, and it even ends with one character saying he was the best man she ever knew. Then the Final book, where he has a teenage girlfriend when he's a child and kills God is supposed to be the truest version of himself. I wish I was making this up.

[@johnjohnthetauntaun]

A Spoopy Scaley Scary Man In a word: Yikes. In two words: Big yikes.

[@aliceduanra7539]

ewwwwww

[@AverageAwesomeDude]

Guy of Minimal Importance hmm and I thought it might be a bit too weird writing myself into a scene of a story I’m writing as some drunk passed out alone on a bar table, and that was it for the character. But now i feel a lot better about that. The story is fantasy grimdark comedy if anyone was wondering for context

[@guyofminimalimportance7]

@Average Awesome Just having a cameo in your own book wouldn't be that weird, especially if it's just a one off thing and not a major plot point. the concept of a self insert is not fundamentally flawed. Honestly even writing a fictional memoir of sorts like this where a fictional character like you goes through similar events that you did would still be fine. The important thing about a story like this is that it has to be written without ego, acknowledging the flaws of your personality as well as your strengths, explaining how you became the person you are today. It honestly can be a good tool for self discovery by applying your own circumstances to a fictional character and seeing how you think of them from a third person perspective. The problem with Onion Boy's books is that all of his self inserts are portrayed as perfect; characters go out of their way to acknowledge how great he is and praise him. for God's sake he wrote in a chapter where the POTUS arrives and calls him a national hero. Most importantly his protagonists never change; despite being a coming of age story "James" never grows as a person, he's perfect from start to finish. In the next book his self insert is just a cool edgy boy who's morally questionable actions are only seen as sexy and defiant of cultural norms, in his final book his main character becomes more powerful than God himself, defeating both God, The Grim reaper, God's backup self; and then reforming all of creation to his design without ever making a wrong decision. A well written self insert gives an author a reason to reexamine themselves as a person, or simply express thier passion for something. His self inserts just serve to demand praise form the reader.

[@donnylurch4207]

"Skin is just skin. It is what it is." *jacks up the contrast to look like he's still 18*

[@lalakuma9]

I mean, based on how this book goes down, I'm convinced that intellectually he's about 12.

[@lobeliaowl2482]

That line is basically "oh, yes, the floor here is made out of f l o o r", but with Gerg trying to throw in some r/im14andthisisdeep. His writing makes my (thankfully never published) wattpad harry potter fan fiction I wrote when I was 12 look like amazing literature.

[@lobeliaowl2482]

@Emily Barclay Cool hahaha I call him Gerg since GREG is already the name of the fastest growing army on KZbin (or Danny Gonzalez' fanbase), also Greg is the first name from a KZbinr I quite like, Armoured Skeptic, and best, the name Gerg just sounds like something a swamp beast who destroyed his own swamp would be named, which fits amazingly.

[@lobeliaowl2482]

@Emily Barclay Exactly! The name is such a nice one, and Gerg is anything but nice, so it doesn't fit at all

[@kalebpinkston3495]

That’s like the most pretentious thing I’ve ever heard. He’s like John Lennon. He says a lot of pretentious crap, thinking he’s deep and intellectually superior to everyone. The only difference is John Lennon’s pretentious crap at least sounded deep at 1st before you sat down to think about it. Onision just makes everybody face palm.

[@ash-ez9yh]

Davis: I LOVE I WISH YOU WERE MY BOYFRIEND greg: ah yes my best buddy friend he was just friendly JOKING

[@julesh9274]

Sapho and her *friend* vibes

[@TheNebulaeCollective]

Look at us, kissing like F R I E N D S

[@nathaliaelefsdrop7982]

Historians will say they were just friends

[@loturzelrestaurant]

@@TheNebulaeCollective Do you know 'Empress Theresa', the only book in existence that can RIVAL Onision?!? ?

[@juliacaster6547]

"Little friendship kiss there"

[@charlie2.048]

"And then we get to the school shooting scene." The WHAT?

[@noizcomplaint4559]

I had the same reaction

[@Jogjosmowwdkfs]

You heard her, other Charlie

[@ianhickox3006]

@@Jogjosmowwdkfs underrated comment. ive been stressed as fuck lately and I dont know why but this post made things ok for just a little bit

[@onettaviator5396]

As soon as i read your comment, she mentioned it

[@lennoxvazquez]

Omfg as soon as I read your comment, she said it. And I had the same reaction to the comment and when she said it. What?!!

[@reallivebird520]

It kinda sounds like when a 6th grader uses a bunch of big words in an essay to feel special

[@MrSuperbeast92]

Sounds like? The near 30 year old still has the mental and emotional level of an angsty 6th grade.

[@reallivebird520]

I_Am_Dragoon lol yeah

[@nonamenoname9162]

Lol been there done that

[@Emi14873]

Or to boost that essay level. I know I did that.

[@ellitt5588]

b o n e - s h a k i n g

[@m1nate]

"I saw some blood and a bunch of my classmates are dead, But most importantly, there's a girl in my bed." Poetry.

[@MagentaDystopia]

Milada Schekoldin onion boy is the best mary sue, featuring such events as the president came to my school and appreciates me and raised the schools funding and everuone clapped

[@Sub-Atomic]

Stones to Abigail, the revised version. "I'm not some broken item for you to fix Greg, my pain is not something for you to fall in love with." Greg suddenly looks very sheepish, now that it had actually been said he realized just how much of an absolute tool he was being. "You're right, I'm sorry, I shouldn't treat you like some object that I want to fix. You're a person, and I should treat you as one." And then they become friends, and Greg doesn't try and jump in her pants. This of course could only happen if Greg wasn't an absolute scumbag.

[@damienearl8302]

It is kinda hilarious though how he fully wrote out that first part, thought it over for at least the few seconds he would've needed to write a response, and that response was... Greg: but baaaabe, you're troma is hawt! Abby: yeah, I guess it kinda is when you put it like that!

[@witherrose1566]

The manchild of 40 admitted in another book Aeons covered, that "Abby" was a real person, and that person essentially did everything to avoid him after he wrote the stupid note. Which means this fucking asshat has been obsessing over the traumatized woman like it's a fetish, for the last 20+ years, to the point he wrote a sexual fantasy about a REAL person who wants nothing to do with him.

[@howdypardner6278]

Wow, he really is an onion! He's bitter and unlikable, but then you start peeling back the layers and realize it's just the same thing and start crying.

[@bixzterthetrickster5586]

Ayy don't diss onions like this, they can taste really good

[@adhesiveghost2834]

He doesn’t taste very good when carmelized, though.

[@edsidfug207]

@@adhesiveghost2834 I mean...

[@mihawk508]

Don't you dare disrespect onions like that

[@immortaljodi]

😂😂😂

[@lizkavanagh]

she sacrificed her brain cells to save ours ;( you’re a hero. thank you 😔🤘🏻

[@Flareontoast]

F She made a big sacrifice.

[@user-zk1ww4ov8r]

Amen

[@NothingToSeeHere-po5ci]

Not all heroes wear capes F

[@TimeBunny]

liz kavanagh she took one for the team guys. She deserves a medal, a Damehood and everything else.

[@mytasteinmusicisyourface3020]

F

[@sarahfeng]

ok hear me out: the entire book, but rewritten from davis's point of view as a gay angsty unrequited love story edit: rip

[@norieldritch2264]

I would love to see this made

[@masked2483]

this is possibly the best thing I have ever seen.

[@average_moron]

I mean yeah I could see that and I would read that

[@filthy_spoon9910]

you left of not written by onision

[@serendipity645]

i know what i’m writing today

[@alextricoverload]

Going back to this after watching the review of the 4th book and knowing that Abby is based on an actual girl who rejected Greg and that's why he wrote a fucking fanfiction about her makes this whole thing infinitely creepier.

[@Clownish.mp4]

OH MY GOD. 😨 greg is a fucking weirdo

[@KanishQQuotes]

This is more pathetic than creepy considering she had the brain cells to see the obvious

[@Quackervoltz]

WHAT

[@Sephelions]

Oh absolutely not

[@colecarbert8222]

Okay, but imagine if the whole “everyone is just Greg in a different wig” concept was intentional. With just the slightest bit of editing, this could have been made into a story about an unreliable narrator, rather than just being Onision’s power trip.

[@mmmbepis8643]

@Miasma that would be a great dark comedy if you ask me. Just a delusional man who thinks everyone worships the ground he walks on when really he’s stalking all his friends and this girl Abby

[@emily5743]

@@mmmbepis8643 is that not just the Netflix series You

[@gamertim4189]

"Greg" and "Unreliable Narrator" just makes me think of the Diary of the wimpy kid books. And I like it that way.

[@sevenfootrat1185]

I agree. But the narrator (Greg) isn’t emphasized to be insane or unreliable enough in the book to warrant this. It would require a heavy bit of editing in order to cement that theory.

[@potatopatch5202]

As interesting as that would be. You watched the video. You know what’s in this book. You know who wrote that book. Would it really be worth the time.

[@sungshineev8732]

This is literally a fanfiction about himself in an Alternate universe I CAN’T WITH THIS GUY (edit: so many likes lmao im glad people agree)

[@chuugummy975]

Adam Hanson Greg has muscles? Lol

[@SF-op5ix]

Honestly me tho

[@heathenpotato]

On one hand I agree, on the other, that’s just cruel to fanfiction tbh. Like, most fanfic writers have way higher standards than this garbage, unless we’re talking about like typical 12 year old wattpad content, in which case, yeah, that sounds pretty accurate

[@TobiasFangorIsntCis]

@@heathenpotato saying “poorly-done [art] being called [the type of art it is] is bad bc most examples of [type of art] are way better” is honestly… really weird to me? Like, are you gonna say that a badly written video game doesn’t count as a video game because well written ones also exist? This book is, by definition, Real Person Fanfic of a real event of his life (assuming that he wasn’t lying in his autobiography about the girl he wrote that letter to). He doesn’t like how it happened irl, and wrote a story where it all went the way he wanted. That’s fix-it fanfic. We don’t gain anything by denying this

[@rebeccab.3748]

"i read onision's entire book" not all heroes wear capes

[@vizthex]

this one wears glasses though, that's close enough

[@lill.2795]

But she wears her own son as a scarf 😉

[@mariahgumm8314]

I think she should wear a cape. It would suit her.

[@ChefBrownSauce]

Truly a modern hero

[@diamondfox1178]

All gave some, some gave all. Aeon gave all.

[@xFoxOne]

If I remember correctly. Onison wanted schools to use his literature for study. I will gladly do that by having my students rip his work to shreds. “Okay class. How do we fix this sentence?” “Is this how two characters would naturally react?” “And this kids, is what not to do when writing anything ever.”

[@thefoxandthehound81]

i imagined a room full of random kids just like. ripping it. pages all over the desk and everything. that’d be a lot more effective than a school counselor

[@xFoxOne]

@@thefoxandthehound81 now THAT! my good person. Is a wonderful idea! 😁

[@noranizaazmi6523]

“Now children, this is what NOT to do when writing a book”

[@noranizaazmi6523]

Woukd be a good book for moral studies

[@lilywerner8254]

YOU KNOW WHATS SO FUNNY? GREG CHANGED HIS GODDAMN NAME TO JAMES. HE LITERALLY GOES BY JAMES NOW. IM GOING TO CRY ITS SO PERFECT.

[@PaganGoose]

Lily Werner excuse me he did WHAT

[@feuko6889]

@@PaganGoose If I'm not mistaken he legally changed his name to James.

[@daniboy4153]

Well he did say his books are self publishing and are based on him

[@ruhrohreaper]

LMAO WHAT-

[@DaVeganZombie]

There are multiple times across all books where he accidentally calls his character "Greg" instead of their proper name. He's just self-inserting himself in to these. And for the way I've seen him try to talk to underage teen girls about School Shootings and usually only tries to talk to damaged girls... He's trying to cause school shootings in some way...

[@samnelius]

brb changing my tinder bio to "i have a sad life and arousing arms"

[@angekfire]

Sad life and arousing arms is #goals

[@tobiasbanks3743]

*swipes right

[@n0odles86]

Careful; you might end up attracting him

[@andrewmarshall3408]

Side effects may include drowning in a sea of beautiful men

[@marshateslosing1654]

Top 10 anime waifus

[@007crazyduck]

This is the incel fantasy right here

[@eineperson666]

I wouldn't say he's an incel. Rather a whiteknight ,,type 2":A niceguy under a shiny white armor.I mean, he's not a virgin...

[@BumboLooks]

You clearly don't know what incel means haha.

[@alexmuniz9286]

@@BumboLooks haha.

[@blossomnessstudios4446]

I want you to know that my entire family qoutes "Hello, son. Come have some l e n t i l s for DINNER" EVERY DAY

[@acebeaut]

As they should✨

[@EnderCorePL]

Mom, can we have a Diary of a Wimpy Kid? Mom: No, we have Diary of a Wimpy Kid at home Diary of a Wimpy Kid at home:

[@Nobody-qk4xu]

It's literally the diary of a wimpy kid

[@jmiddleton7518]

Nobody Yeah cause Greg is a sociopath.

[@TheBonkleFox]

Onion boy is Fregley in an emo phase

[@DyingLettuceLMAO]

Don’t insult the diary of a wimpy kid like that! It doesn’t deserve it! I don’t even like this book, but it doesn’t deserve it

[@mehgreyson]

Ender CorePL Hey don’t disrespect Diary of a Wimpy Kid like that

[@funghoul5144]

If r/im14andthisisdeep was a person, it would be Greg

[@tostadorafuriosa69]

2oD r/im30andthisisdeep*

[@natsukilovestobake4427]

2oD This comment has 111 likes,

[@tostadorafuriosa69]

Natsuki Loves to Bake not anymore

[@natsukilovestobake4427]

Big Yeet Daddy :(

[@funghoul5144]

Natsuki Loves to Bake OH shit you're right-

[@chaotikailuro2878]

"I would not trust this woman with a god damn gerbil, never mind children's futures, and I have known her for two paragraphs." I love this sentence... so much.

[@thelolitasystem6403]

Aparently this was about my teachers

[@theFrench1111]

I would like this comment, but I don't want to ruin the 666 likes-

[@keczuppomidorek]

My gerbils aren't going anywhere near this onion boy in a wig

[@theparrot6516]

@@keczuppomidorek I read gerbils as genitals and I'm traumatized

[@theparrot6516]

@@keczuppomidorek I thought it was genitals because it's an onision video what can I expect.

[@TheWilderCat]

I like how the President reveres Greg for doing nothing while Jock actually tackled the shooter. Like, there is a student who attempted to fight the guy and save himself and his classmates but it is not Greg, Mr. President.

[@endergamer7483]

Nobody: Girl: *wears Capri pants* The American Public Education System: That harlot hath showeth her ankles, she must bear the scarlet markings and be shunned!

[@Alchemy818.]

Endergamer 748 Also: Girl: *wears leggings* School: *heavy breathing* if she breaths, she’s a-

[@welplookatthatitsausername6736]

or "she hath showeth her bra strap, this meaneth she is naked" like, what?

[@cassualtea2040]

@@welplookatthatitsausername6736 If she showeth undergarments she be-eth a TEMPTRESS

[@ipissedonyourwifeshesminenow]

as a girl who goes to christian private school, before the whole pandemic thing, we, like many other teen girls, were constantly harrassed by teachers for our skirt lengths and their excuse was that we were to be "women of god" and i dont want to know what that implies

[@forgemakesstuff2734]

I felt this on a personal level

[@indynile]

I think it's weird that onion decided to include abby self harming when he's called self harmers idiots and told them they don't have the right because they're privileged and not starving kids in Africa

[@Sera-F1nn]

I mean, that wouldn't be the first time he condraticts himself ^^ If i got that right "Self-harmers are idiots, except when it gives me the opportunity to be a hero that said self-harmer will love forever"

[@indynile]

@Lauren just look up "onision self harm" he's got a ton of videos about it

[@ericalynnsallee]

Hmmm... 😒 I'm not fully aware of the whole relationship between Abby and "onion boy" but I have personally witnessed narcissists belittle previous love interests, friends, or other relationships, to make themselves look superior and to demean the other person as to invalidate them. Perhaps that's where onion boy's open invalidation of self harm stems from? Narcissistic people put great effort to protect their own ego and image, all the while, attempting to bring others down. I don't know but it wouldn't surprise me.

[@yesieatedbutnosoap6927]

He’s glorifying depression, when you have depression NOBODY can save you if you fall in love you push them away not say “omg I can’t save myself save me!”

[@ulrichweiss9912]

@@yesieatedbutnosoap6927 Holy shit that sentence. I understood nothing of what you were trying to say. Was that a Stabbing Westward reference?

[@mattsencode]

the fact that Greg ended up legally changing his name to James just makes this a whole lot funnier

[@lauramac90]

It really does, too funny.

[@kingjester123]

Wait what

[@gaygnomesex41]

w a i t

[@misscuntour]

fucking pardon?????

[@w_alderson21]

*Hol up*

[@meganvincent5381]

"I read this whole book with the exception of the sex scenes" honestly, no one asked you to or wanted you to. No one should ever have to endure that kind of pain

[@techg5255]

greg: sexualizes minors also greg: 𝓉𝒽𝑒 '𝒻' 𝓌𝑜𝓇𝒹

[@minaashido4643]

HSYAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGA PLEASE IM RUNNING ON THE FREEWAY TO SAVE SOMEONE WHO JUMPED

[@freshkatstatic2334]

What

[@amphi2095]

@@minaashido4643 SHDNMANABS PLEASE I’M LITERALLY DOWNLOADING GARDENSCAPES

[@ede447]

@@amphi2095 HDSKALDEPA IM DEADASS SELLING DIET PILLS

[@rosata2123]

@@floorpanel8749 AHHAGJHAFJGA WHT THE HELL HAPPENED HERE

[@JessicaMcCamley]

When you said "we're only halfway through this book" I nearly choked on my fries because there have already been 12 PLOT LINES ALREADY THIS IS WORSE THAN RIVERDALE

[@magicrainbowkitties1023]

At least the first season of Riverdale was competently written (somewhat).

[@aprilanonymous7237]

Maybe all the characters are on jingle jangle

[@classicnobody9872]

😂😂😂

[@erins7840]

bus driver was trying to end the book early

[@jellycoolreader9796]

I wish he would have succeeded

[@loturzelrestaurant]

@@jellycoolreader9796 Do you know all of Onisions Books? And even if: Do you know 'Empress Theresa'?

[@toakongu1]

Morally this is a horrible comment, but dark humor is always fucking funny

[@Faux_Sunlight]

@@toakongu1 it aint immoral if the person you want dead is an onision lookalike

[@jamie6506]

No no, the teacher shaming the kid for peeing under the desk part is accurate. Back in first grade (coincidentally also in art class), one of my classmates asked to go to the bathroom maybe 5 minutes into class. The teacher said no, she should have gone before, and she told her our core teacher didn't let her go either (which was true). The art teacher still refused, so she didn't go. Fast forward to the end of class, we're lining up to be escorted back to our homeroom, and someone asks why there's water on the floor. The classmate that asked to use the bathroom began crying and said "I really had to go..." and the art teacher just started yelling at her and asking her if she's a toddler, all that jazz. That isn't the only example of high key child abuse I dealt with or witnessed in school, but it's among the most ridiculous. Not letting a 6 or 7 year old go to the bathroom and then screaming at her in front of everyone when she has an accident? Classy as fuck, Mrs. Y.

[@morganzme267]

You could literally end every other sentence with "and then everyone clapped"

[@weethetniet9427]

This entire book is r/thathappened

[@octo8116]

fr

[@lordfawful1229]

@@weethetniet9427 With a bit of r/im14andthisisdeep on the side

[@JyujinPlus]

Reading this comment makes me want a dramatic reading by Shoe0nHead

[@soilology]

"I sense everything I can take in around me, and then everyone clapped."

[@Menace_Moth_Society]

This entire book just reminds me of that quote from Spy Kids 2 ”Do you think that God stays in heaven because he too fears what he has created?”

[@ollisayshi9017]

THATS FROM SPY KIDS 2??!

[@redmanish]

They managed to bust out a fucking golden quote like that for *Spy Kids* but we can’t get a semi-coherent sentence out of Onion Boy. Holy Shi...itake mushrooms.

[@plantenmoeder5006]

thats from S P Y K I D S ?

[@herdustisverypretty]

@@ollisayshi9017 It sure is 😂 I feel like the dude who said that line tho was like. Cloning dinosaurs on an island???? smth like that 😂 Can't quite remember but it was very strange. The entire Spy Kids series was... very strange.

[@KanishQQuotes]

That's actually deep

[@justicesteele2000]

I don’t know why Onision was hating on her eyebrows. I really like her eyebrows.

[@meevins]

Of course he attacks her actual appearance because that's totally the mature thing to do. Her eyebrows are lovely.

[@unknownevilentity]

The answer is that he's a salty onion boy who has no debate skills

[@Infantyzip]

Her eyebrows are fantastic, actually. Greg should work on his dinosaur teeth, if we're going after looks here

[@kentonbaird878]

Bereft of an actual counter argument, the emotional, insecure prick will lash out at whatever is seen first.

[@ciderxera4963]

Personally ger eyebrows aren't my favorite, but they're not bad enough to make fun of. Eyebrows are hard. I have one straight eyebrow and one circle brow. Because I guess that's what shape they wanna be in lmao. I have Bangs on one side, because eyebrows are hard.

[@Magikal10]

"Im not convinced American schools are this badly run" >DEEP BREATH< an old friend had people pay them at lunch to run into/hit kids at recess I had a teacher send me to the principal for "reading too much" Another threated to send me to the principal for reading "too fast" Before graduating, I didnt know where Russia, China, Finland, Scotland, and more were on a map, Multiple people tried to start cults during recess's Monthly school sho*ter drills This one 2nd grade teacher said she had cancer for April fools, I was in school lunch debt for years Bus driver got fired for selling coc*ine And more....

[@thequeenofcringe1585]

My school went into lockdown for over an hour because of a bomb threat when I was in 11th grade. One kid was getting harassed by another kid and it took months for the school to do something about it. Students would brag about fucking in the janitor’s closets. Also when my brother was in 9th or 10th grade there were 3 separate bomb threats in 3 separate bathrooms. The 3rd one was in a staff bathroom, and all the bathrooms were closed for the rest of the year.

[@xXAcidBathXx]

The local highschool had to cancel everything and stand outside of the school because of a threat made towards a student

[@dimitripapadopoulos3196]

And that’s just last week!

[@completely_normal111]

A bus drove into our school once and everyone laughed about it even though people were in the hospital

[@thedarklrd6714]

@@thequeenofcringe1585 "three separate bomb threats in three separate bathrooms" is inexplicably hilarious to me

[@gabbyabbott4965]

Greg hates and rants about girls who cut themselves. But here he is romanticizing Abby’s self harm scars.

[@Ash-gc9rx]

and wait till he says that it's ironic the whole time even though he obviously takes it seriously

[@jtallen6406]

Anything to make himself feel powerful.

[@vickmarti4697]

Since we're using verbs and nouns that don't go together, I'd just like to say this dramatic reading shook my bones, stole my tiddies, AND fermented my colon 👍🏻

[@notmocka]

This comment really splashed my nails 10/10

[@rinward172]

this comment murdered my left big toe

[@fairykota]

i felt this comment specifically in the base of my skull

[@strawberryfields222]

“fermented my colon” I’m deceased

[@left-2-write28]

I have no idea what's going on but I fucking love it.

[@enbyennui]

"I still don't understand what is special about Abi beside having a sad life and arousing arms" my teachers writing my reference for uni applications

[@Air_Serpent]

ZLDL 😂😂😂 damn

[@fen4613]

I feel called out

[@cabbage8349]

👀 👀 👀 👀

[@maryhall1671]

"I'm not convinced American schools are this badly run." One student at my old school tore down a poster hung up on the window outside the drama instructor's office that stated her classroom is "a safe space for LGBTQ+ youth" and threatened to bring his pastor to her office if she put it back up. She cried bc she was a relatively young teacher who didnt know how to deal with the assholery of Southern Pentecostal children who got their political ideologies from their braindead parents and then got fired for being unprofessional. A different student had a bigass confederate flag mounted to the tailgate of his truck and was never told to take it down. Recently a fight broke out at my old high school bc a visiting basketball team was comprised of mostly black students and some of our students called them the n word a bunch of times. My old school is also not IEP compliant.

[@alecmullaney7957]

Sorry you had to live in the deep south. However, please don't use the south as an example of the US. Most of the US isn't as bad as the south is (despite Republicans hard work trying to drag the rest of the country down)

[@guytrashgurtdog]

Sounds like my old high school, except it was in southern NJ 😐 shits the same everywhere sadly

[@guytrashgurtdog]

@@alecmullaney7957 and even then there’s a lot of good to the south, racist white people do NOT represent all of the south. Southern culture can be beautiful and was created mainly by poc, especially black people. And also the rest of America that isn’t the south can be just as racist, homophobic, transphobic, sexist, ableist, etc. Coming from someone who’s always lived in the north and traveled in both the north and south. Being a very visibly trans gay disabled person who’s very flamboyant I kinda get treated like trash everywhere. Yeah maybe parts of the south are definitely worse, but I feel like a lot of people in the rest of the country love to just point to the south to deflect from the fact that they’re extremely bigoted and unsafe as well. It’s really the whole country. Our country isn’t built for anyone that’s not a cishet, able bodied, neurotypical white man.

[@guytrashgurtdog]

@@johannsebastianbach5223 d word

[@blizzard_the_seal9863]

@@johannsebastianbach5223 go rot in a hole, no one thinks you’re funny

[@MommaTeaParty]

“And now Obama is in the story...” W H A T

[@alleycat231]

reminds me of this fanfic I made where I, a 12 year old, was assigned the obamas bodyguard

[@sushibot8414]

Alex Lynch I want to read that RIGHT THE FUCK NOW

[@perfecttrash3378]

666th like bsss

[@kirahegao4480]

r/thathappened

[@aflooki]

@@alleycat231 its just like the homestuck epilogue

[@whatnow7688]

i have honestly never heard of a book where so much yet so little happens.

[@natalieh9300]

Is that what he says about Eugina Cooney? It's funny how he says she says so much yet so little at the same time, and that's how his book is hahah

[@raffy234]

well said

[@SyncF]

Have you read Empress Theresa?

[@TheDanishGuyReviews]

Virginia Woolf's To the Lighthouse.

[@pianofreak247]

Fifty Shades of Grey?

[@katierose8238]

“The most sociopathic attempt at empathy I have ever read.” That should be on the back of the book 😂😂

[@jetnagle8610]

Hello yes I am a person and I feel emotions and can relate to others because they, too, have feelings just like me

[@Jrez]

Some of my picks for quotes: #deep "clearly supposed to be _romantic,_ but I would use the word _terrifying"_

[@Sophia-vk5bq]

It is, right under the copyright. Copyrighted material. *The most sociopathic attempt at empathy I have ever read.*

[@nnnnmhughuuhhjiijj9457]

Come on, Aeon, come on, do you even need to read this book, in order to know that part.

[@gamehero6816]

To be clear, people with ASPD are capable of empathy. There are multiple forms of empathy, if I'm correct most "sociopaths" (not even the right term) use cognitive empathy.

[@pokemonparty101]

Very late but about the American school system: -At one point we had to write on the back of already graded papers bc the school didn’t have any -My friend’s ovary ruptured at school and was literally dying and the nurse told her she couldn’t send people home when they have their periods -The health teacher locked a girl in a closet for a class period and wasn’t even suspended for a semester Yeah, they’re pretty batshit

[@daisymay156]

late to your late comment - but omg all of that sounds awful and I hope your friend was okay!

[@JHyde-tv3if]

Bruh I went to the nurse with severe ovary pain and an extremely heavy period (later revealed to be cysts) and she shrugged and gave me the thinnest pad. I had to go back to class, bleeding all over the place, and beg my mom to come get me.

[@alecmullaney7957]

Here's hoping you can leave the south and move to a part of the USA that isn't a part of the 3rd world

[@kittencorp.3295]

What area of the US?

[@alecmullaney7957]

@@kittencorp.3295 the south, clearly

[@Mothandflameprinting]

*Chop them onNIiiOoooNnnnNnnssSS*

[@SkyeBerryJam]

Chris Carsley on-yon

[@mollyeck834]

I read that as "Chop Them Noodles"

[@byrdistheword91]

"A sad life and arousing arms" Well, I just found the title of my autobiography!

[@noellerose2691]

i want that on my gravestone when I die

[@adamcarr1387]

Ain't called arm candy for nothing

[@smoothshark75]

when I tell you I wheezed... I W H E E Z E D

[@minaomar8557]

lmao are u yoshikage kira?

[@slightlyamusedblackkidfrom9153]

What kind of sociopath associates a sad life and arousal. Onision apparently

[@duolingoowo4855]

*I N C O N S I S T E N T S M E L L*

[@megy570]

One day he smells roses, the next he smells rotten egg.

[@geekoborabora]

I mostly got those in the cafeteria

[@anastaciasimpson3437]

Duo You found me

[@gabrielleeeSK]

@@megy570 he never really understood the idea of sweating

[@UraniumEater59]

as someone named Abigail, seeing that he spelled it like "Abbigale", makes me want to forcefully tear out my brain

[@cloudysensation8406]

I would be happy it's not the same as mine lol

[@quinn.0]

if onision named a "love" intrest in one of his books anything similar to my name im changing it

[@UraniumEater59]

@@quinn.0 yeah

[@abidizzne892]

As a fellow Abigail I vibe with this

[@UraniumEater59]

@@abidizzne892 heck yeah

[@thriftstorepierrotdoll9851]

“and then the guidance counselor burns down their entire school” she WHAT

[@floorfloorfloor722]

That part actually sounds like a plot I would read

[@awesomegaymer5786]

this book is what you get when you order Heather's on wish

[@daniboy4153]

The stuff that goes dark in this book is me when I try to write a thriller novel

[@amandaking4654]

its like a wattpad story but even some wattpads are better than this mess

[@senorsombrero1275]

Fuckin heretic

[@bingo2underscores]

your voice constantly sounds like you’re on the verge of tears and it really adds to the energy of despair this video exudes

[@orangegradient4309]

She sounds like she's on the edge of a full blown panic attack

[@angie81190]

I have no option but to stan her.

[@baraness24]

@@orangegradient4309 Honestly we stan.

[@alpheusrose2997]

i don’t want to bring down the mood or anything but she sounds like that partially because a few years ago her lung collapsed and needed surgery so i think that her lung is working harder and it makes her voice shaky and unstable

[@skrrtskrrt2410]

@@alpheusrose2997 ooh like Chills

[@samanthastorm944]

Sorry but I can’t stop staring at her eyebrows. Those bois perfect

[@YourActualChild]

Bigmac 666 right???

[@mbreezytv7577]

Her whole make up is on point honestly

[@collinlopez]

She's a lesbian bro, drop an F.

[@mbreezytv7577]

@@collinlopez lmao you can appreciate someones appearance regardless of sexual orientation 😂

[@collinlopez]

@@mbreezytv7577 true

[@throneisbed7833]

"Your bones were not shaken, *Gregory,"* A quote I never knew I needed, nor did I know I wanted it, and yet, somehow, it completes me.

[@sarahokie-dokie9133]

I also looked into the reviews and this was one. “This book sounds like he swallowed a thersaurus and vomited it onto the pages. He sounds like he is trying too hard to sound like an intellectual, carefully choosing his words, it's unnatural and doesn't flow. If this is a piece of who Greg is then he has some sociopathic traits.”

[@mikhailthegreatestdragon3627]

Everybody give this likes

[@peoeoe]

that captures one of the biggest problems in his writing (opinion) really well

[@sarahokie-dokie9133]

Mikhail The Greatest Dragon honestly I didn’t think it was going to get that many likes, lmao

[@fromloverboy]

"I'm not convinced American public schools are this badly run." Oh you sweet Canadian child. So naive.

[@zinnia2019]

mood

[@lilahthompson2314]

Are they that bad?? I go to Canadian public school, so I don't know.

[@koreabooisms3052]

Lilah Thompson as a fellow Canadian with friends who have talked to Americans, apparently they have to have like... shooter drills(?) I didn’t know that they had those in any country until a year ago. And the teachers don’t really care about the kids if you go to high school there \_(^-^)_/

[@zinnia2019]

Koreabooisms yeah we have drills (though where i go to school they arent called shooter drills) theyre called lockdown drills

[@lilahthompson2314]

@@zinnia2019 At least in my school, we only have lockdown drills and fire drills. I know of other schools doing more though.

[@BeastModeNerd49]

I want merch that says “I saw some blood and a bunch of my classmates are dead but most importantly there’s a girl in my bed”

[@luca-jx1pe]

The BeastModeNerd49 that sounds like lyrics to a really bad song

[@mothmadi_]

Honestly I'd buy that merch.

[@VeneficaDelirium]

It sounds like it could be a screamo band name.

[@PutBoxOnMe]

I want it on a poster lol

[@misctoast]

I took a screenshot of this comment so I can make myself a little poster of what you've said so I can hang it on my wall.

[@brokenXskullXbeyond]

"Arousing Arms" is the new name for my mid-2000s style emo band.

[@tamber5977]

pfff

[@Christian-97]

That's a pretty cool band name