I Took Girl Defined's Dangerous, Christian S*x Course

[@bimpadimp]

the thing about christian women being expected to be sexless before marriage and very sexual once married is very funny coming from the woman who preached sexlessness until she got married, at which point she started selling a sex course

[@ShirleyTimple]

Yeah, it's almost like she made an entire career talking about something she had absolutely no experience with

[@buttsmcgee1227]

@@ShirleyTimple It's how that whole family grifts.

[@celinechahine3244]

In my opinion, once she got married she lost the “purity” image so now she’s talking about sex so she can still have content and revenue

[@naomi9449]

As a Christian I will talk to my close friends about getting dicked down. I don’t buy into purity culture. I’m not a light switch. I’m not about to flip on some nonexistent hypersexuality that sounds like a lot of work for me

[@missmoxie9188]

Yeah… no thanks

[@scout_427]

The jump from not having ur first kiss til marriage to rapid fire naming sexual activities to millions of people is actually insane (at least in American culture)

[@Jabadamazo]

I have a theory that one of them is going to end up renouncing this whole thing and starting an Onlyfans or doing porn in a few years as someone who was repressed for so long.

[@miglek9613]

@@Jabadamazo some ex christians have mentioned that their starting stages of deconstruction looked a lot like what Bethany's husband is like right now and that they wouldn't be surprised if that marriage ends in divorce because of religious differences

[@literallylondonn]

@@miglek9613uhm well if im remembering correctly, both of their husbands are "reformed" gay men. so i wouldnt doubt it

[@magentatime]

LMAO NO, FR??? thats so rich, maybe it'll be a husband of theirs who quits these shenanigans and starts an onlyfans.@@literallylondonn

[@richborn6700]

​@@Jabadamazoit's widely known that Catholic school girls are more wild in bed than public school girls.

[@ThatHawksSimp]

I love that she doesn’t actually teach anything about sex at all. The act of sex itself is just never talked about 😭

[@NikkiBudders]

lol because sex is icky until marriage. Then it's a stipulation of said marriage contract! Straight up 0 to 100

[@RaineInChaos]

What was kind of boggling to me is that this is the course for singles, but they kept talking about husbands and what to do with your spouses once you're married. She complained about hard the 0-100 flipping a switch thing was, and yet still continued to present it exactly the same way

[@RollingOnFire]

Even Classically Abby talked about it in her video

[@meghanphillips3495]

She's talks and talks and says nothing. Kind of like her ministry.

[@animationtimez.5217]

I’m not going to pay for a ten-day sex course that’s led by someone who didn’t know what being horny means and thinks that mind-virginity exists, so thanks Pinely 😭

[@SpellCheckBot]

LMAO

[@literallylondonn]

MIND VIRGINITY????

[@Katie2986]

I appreciate him taking one for the team 😂

[@ToruKun1]

@@literallylondonnMind Virginity (AKA "If you don't think horny thoughts, you still count as a virgin, mentally") is the logical conclusion of Christian Thoughtcrime (remember, in the Bible it says if a guy ogles a woman he's not dating or married to, it counts as adultery).

[@vlad5042]

@@ToruKun1that almost makes me feel better bc it means almost no one older than 12 is actually a virgin according to these people so we can all just stop worrying about it

[@madara-mada-mada-go]

Girl Defined really said "If I don't get sex, none of y'all do either" and then turned around and said "Ok. I had sex so now y'all can too 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰"

[@debil_2302]

consistency

[@yuiscene]

that one meme of Queen Elizabeth the II saying "I'm sorry to say thag sex is now illegal. if I'm not getting any, neither are you"

[@r_jollychic]

Madara 😦

[@Wrigglecat]

@@r_jollychic Enstars fans spotted??? (Im literally in the middle of making my arashi cut out??)

[@mars_stars]

im honestly extremely dissapointed we never got that christian masturbation tutorial

[@starfall179]

Are you talking about the one that moistcritical made a video on? That one was really funny.

[@grammy_hnng]

how does one even teach that wtf

[@jaebird3077]

It's pretty much just masterbate and feel like a horrible person after. At least that's what church taught me

[@carolinecowley427]

@@starfall179 What's the video called? I gotta see this.

[@starfall179]

@@carolinecowley427 search Penguinz0 Pastor Teaches Masturbation It's really funny

[@artistdudebro]

Girl Defined is a good example of what can happen when you're born and raised in a cultish, abusive Chrisian household. It happens to far too many people.

[@elyselaura9232]

The most wild thing about Girl Defined is being able to see in real time what happens when women raised in this environment get married and find out that purity culture ISN'T actually the key to a happy fairy tale marriage and now they have to navigate all kinds of sexual incompatibility and dysfunction that they weren't prepared for

[@iamataldi]

Also with a grandpa who may or may not have been a nazi

[@MrMajesticMajesty]

​@@elyselaura9232didn't even think about this that's so true

[@chiyoh]

@@iamataldiIt’s not even a maybe, her great grandpa was a straight up nazi mayor. She took some photos with his grave in Austria on her honeymoon, totally normal thing to do

[@gracefoster7587]

@@elyselaura9232 and the additional sad thing is how they blame each other for the disfunction. I think Beth (the one on the thumbnail) has made a post along the lines of infertile couples not being holy enough even though Kirsten, her business partner and sister, is having fertility issues

[@allisacarnas2951]

24:35 I don't struggle with same-sex attraction I'm very good at it

[@clefairyclaws]

HELP💀

[@Nathavangel]

😂😂😂

[@bishielurfer]

Being gay isn't a choice. It's a game and I'm winning.

[@pablon333]

Ranked gay match

[@jenm1]

I'm convinced all these girls are lesbians

[@do0mageddon-j8l]

At first I was like oh she found sexual liberation and wants to help other hyper religious types, how progressive!...and then she spoke. This is why sex ed is important for everyone to learn.

[@drollchild]

you must not have known bethy for that to have been your first thought, and you're so fortunate for that

[@PerfectProtagonist]

@@drollchildI watched a video about her before, but forgot about her because she's so forgettable.

[@NikkiBudders]

anatomically accurate sex ed* You'd be not at all surprised at how factually innacurate curriculums are allowed to be taught specifically surrounding sex.

[@althechicken9597]

I knew girls in high-school who had to get taught by their friends how to use tampons. Hyper-Religious parents are objectively BAD parents. Talk about failing your kids. They push prayers on their kids 3 times a day but are too afraid to even dance around the topic of a period. Cowards. Intentionally leaving your child in ignorance of THEIR OWN BODY is child abuse.

[@flammyyyyy]

@NikkiBudders ??? I don't know what more yall want from sex ed? I went to public school, I was in health class, I know where all the things are and what they do. I know about contraceptives, I know about babies, I know about birth. I really don't know what more you want from sex ed. An instruction manual for how to be good at it? "Field experiences"?

[@knitsnknacks]

I don’t think I’ll be taking advice from someone who described sex with her husband as “not making the dry bones come back from the dead” so I’ll just watch this to experience the train wreck

[@talloncusack]

Wait what does that even mean??

[@franciscol3510]

@@talloncusack not enjoyable at all, the ''dry bones'' part is probably hinting at the state of her bits during the act itself

[@idontwantahandlethough]

@@talloncusack Their kink is roleplaying while dressed as zombie versions of niche side-characters from the Super Mario Extended Universe. Which *_IS_* pretty dang hot, now that I think about it for a minute 🤔

[@PansyPops]

@@idontwantahandlethoughcan we get some Bowsettes up in here?

[@robinvik1]

... what?

[@PoeInTheDitch]

Imagine paying for, and sitting through, a ten-day course on how to be a terrible lay.

[@LetLolabool]

Lmaoo why are you calling it a “lay”

[@dc9662]

​@@LetLolaboolBecause you can't have just one, and great when baked, OR fried.

[@kayvee1388]

I do that without a course.

[@idontwantahandlethough]

"Hot Christian Lovin' Tip #56: Lie perfectly still!! Men LOVE fishing, so they'll especially love it when you lie there like a dead, limp fish 😀"

[@PansyPops]

@@idontwantahandlethoughbonus points if you smell like a dead fish as well!

[@celestialnature6061]

As a southern American who was not raised religious, best thing to do for Christian prayers is just to bow your head and say amen when they say amen. No one really questions it

[@crazyowlgirlcncowner]

Yup! I am religious but that sounds respectful for people who aren't religious to do without necessarily participating in the prayer

[@meh.3208]

Or you can just ignore it. What are they gonna do get upset you aren't religious? Oh fucking well.

[@crazyowlgirlcncowner]

@@meh.3208 Yeah, that's an option. But I mean Pinely was asking for a way he could just chill and blend in without being perceived as disrespectful. If he wants to ignore it he can. If he wants to bow his head and say Amen then he can do that. It's a choice lol

[@llynxfyre]

I'm not a Christian but I do like participating in prayer when others do it. I like the short moment of reflection it brings when done well.

[@coldramen8620]

I keep my eyes open and wink if I make eye contact with anyone

[@WillOrrWhat]

Re: getting married in your 30s, it is worth noting that people tend to get married younger in the US than in Europe. The average first marriage is around 27 there, whereas it's in the 30s for a lot of Europe. And honestly, it's because of this evangelical traditional bullshit that pressures people to get married so young.

[@rampion1228]

I grew up in a very religious family, and the average age of marriage in my family/church was 18-23. It's not true of everyone, myself included, and those marriages can still be happy and healthy but I do think purity culture and the pressure to get married young is very unhealthy.

[@rampion1228]

I went to a wedding where instead of throwing the bouquet the bride lined up all the single women, gave them each a flower from her boquet, and prayed with them that they would find a husband soon. Extremely wierd in hindsight.

[@godspeedyoublacknerd]

@@rampion1228 also grew up religious and, like, most everyone I grew up with was married before they turned 25. It's also a big military thing to get married young.

[@molluscumlore]

tbh I wonder what the median and mode of those scores are too. Because I know that, at least in my area of america, everyone who was suuuper excited for marriage from an early age got married very soon after high school. While everyone who has a more normal relationship with the idea just doesn't worry about it until they start wanting kids (mid-late 20s), and if they don't want kids they don't care much ever

[@aryanram02]

meanwhile the avg marriage age in india is 19-20 💀

[@talloncusack]

It’s really sad when she says not to confide your masturbation “struggle” to a man bc the actual reason is obviously being taken advantage of/them taking the opportunity to creep on you in that scenario & just be a perv about it…but she doesn’t phrase it that way and instead puts all the responsibility of that on the woman not to be vulnerable (as usual) bc it’s your burden and not their ill intent to sexualize/objectify & victimize you, basically.

[@MariaPaula-uw3ds]

Not that we were expecting anything different coming from a woman with this religious background kkkk

[@the_newt_nest]

From what I've gleaned from other videos, it seems like Bethany gave up a sports scholarship because her parents thought she should get married. Then she was the single sister in Girl Defined, and when she did find a husband they had a pretty rocky start to their marriage. It seems like she found what was supposed to be the apex of her life and then it turned out to not be what she wanted. And on the way, she peddled a whooole lot of fucked up views about gender and sexuality. Yaaay.

[@Jenninka]

Honestly the saddest part of her entire life to me is that she gave up on her potential as an athlete to pursue this sad life she made for herself. This came up in a fundie Fridays video and she talked about basketball with more passion than she’s ever had for her husband

[@the_newt_nest]

​@@Jenninkayeah, I don't feel bad for her since she's successful and bigoted, but it's clear that she wanted more than her family approved of her having.

[@SpecialInterestShow]

It's one of those situations where I feel bad for her, but feel much worse for the people she hurt.

[@hoodedman6579]

@@the_newt_nest I don't know if it makes me really feel bad for her, but it certainly makes me feel bad.

[@LuluTheCorgi]

​@@Jenninkareligion is one hell of a drug

[@kwowka]

I’m aroace and I find it so funny that they would totally have issue with me. Like, it’s okay to be a single godly woman forever, as long as you’re straight. Asexuality? No no.

[@Rhaifha]

Wait, you aren't longing for a good Christian man to give you babies?! No no no, you're doing it all wrong!! 😂

[@naikahara]

Same, I'm aroace and sex repulsed. I find it so funny to imagine what would happen to Bethany's brain if she met a woman without a sex drive that is perfectly content with being single, miss ma'am would explode lmao

[@SirPancake1]

Im a christian and i always find it weird that some christians have a problem with aromantic and asexual people. It does not say anywhere in the bible that not having sexual urges is wrong, so It is always mad confusing when they get all hot and bothered about it.

[@Zanyotaku]

I was told when I was growing up that attraction wasn't that important ie I was STILL expected to get married to someone I wasn't attracted to for the purpose of having babies... wtf. Also the christian ideal of "submissive womanhood" and marriage and the like horrified me to the point of nightmares honestly. So glad I left the church, honestly my mental health is much better and my anxiety is easier to manage when I stopped believing thoughts could be sinful somehow. They're so weird.

[@scrungler_boinbus]

​​@@SirPancake1 isnt paul also like the most anti-sex guy ever? arent we the less sinful ones according to his teachings? to me it just seems like theyre cherrypicking the things that only let THEM (the straight people) do what they want

[@danielcolman19]

A couple notes: First of all, when she said "When you have sexual thoughts go read the bible" I just think that's funny cause there's a book of the bible that consists of King Solomon just describing a woman's curvy body. Secondly, I gotta agree that you don't need to pay for a whole course just to have a lady tell you "God loves you and made sex." From what I know about the bible, God doesn't really have strict rules about sex life within marriage so taking a whole course about "looking at sex biblically" is completely pointless.

[@ACAB.forcutie]

Yeah, have you heard about that guy's views on abortion? He wants people to use it as punishment for women. 😳

[@SpecialInterestShow]

That sounds like a surefire way to Pavlov yourself into having a Jesus kink - well, more than they already do

[@soph541]

​@@ACAB.forcutiehe also punished king David by aborting his unborn son - but it's okay because god said he'd give him another one after lol

[@spaceisgay]

​@@ACAB.forcutieisn't there an entire passage in the bible about how to perform an abortion? Considering how much stuff american Christians have made up about the bible I wouldn't be surprised if abortion bad was never in there

[@LuluTheCorgi]

I thought according to the bible any sex, including in marriage, is bad unless it's explicitly for conceiving a child No birth control allowed either

[@semigekko]

This feels like paying for a course on cooking from someone who’s just learned how to boil an egg.

[@zoeb3573]

Listen, I'd gladly watch a full youtube series of someone who doesn't know shit about cooking making videos about themselves trying to figure out new recipes, that shit would be hilarious if they go at it with the right attitude and self-awareness, and I'd probably still learn stuff at the same time as them. But here she's treating it like she's an expert at it after just receiving her first kiss.

[@AleTitan]

​@@zoeb3573"you can actually eat medium rare chicken, you guys. It's a Mexican delicacy, praise the Lord! "

[@cup_of_tea755]

Hearing your complete disgust at what I used to consider completely normal homophobic and transphobic things to hear from people I knew is actually really healing, though I definitely still have some internalised terrible beliefs to deal with its good to hear people who don't tolerate that kind of thing.

[@miglek9613]

as an ex christian I would also consider the things Girl Defined have said on the internet to be pretty mild tbh (despite those things being absolutely vile). Like, in my parents' church a guy told me I deserve to be burned at the stake and no one had a problem with what he said and one of my parents' church priest literally claims that p*dophilia is the same thing as homosexuality and to my knowledge Girl Defined have never supported genocide openly, only implying it. A guest priest was also explaining the dangers of holding hands in my church once. And I didn't even grow up in a cult like the girls were, my stories all come from mainstream european catholicism

[@afirewasinmyhead]

There's a channel here on KZbin called Belief It Or Not that talks about (ex-Christian) religious trauma and points out messed-up stuff in the church. It's honestly been really comforting to me as someone who grew up religious, no longer religious, but still has lingering guilt about it.

[@fluffyphoenix8082]

hey same here!! I was raised in a very high-demand religious setting (cultlike, really), and I still have many internalized homophobic and transphobic issues. I've been fighting tooth and nail to get rid of these beliefs I was raised on. I'm queer myself, dating someone of the same sex, and they've been incredibly patient with me trying to deconstruct my former beliefs and sometimes panicking over the fact that I am "sinning" in my relationship. I'm happier with my partner than I've ever been before, happier out of the church than I EVER was in it - even if it's taking me a bit to heal from the religious trauma.

[@TwixtheFox]

​@@afirewasinmyheadGlad you mentioned them. Been a fan for years now since they were a small tiny channel. Their videos are amazing, seen every one of them! I'm so happy to have seen them grow so they can help more people out.

[@NateDogg2888]

Wait, fam, you don’t hate when people love other people!? That’s crazy talk, general Satan-worshipping person! Hate everyone for Christ love! 🤣😂😳

[@kwowka]

Looking at trad Christian’s is wild as a kid who grew up in the most leftist church possible. Like what do you mean you don’t like gay people WITHOUT LESBIANS HOW DO YOU GET THE SOUND SYSTEM TO WORK.

[@rainbowlack]

also how do they get ANY web design done without trans women 😭

[@kwowka]

@@rainbowlack NO BUT ACTUALLY we do have our trans woman she is locked in a little cage and she makes our websites /j /j /j

[@dabiskitt]

I need a leftist church ASAP

[@Unhingeddirtdog]

LOLL is that why my church sound system is shit? save us lesbians

[@recklessmermaid]

This is the best thing on the internet, very underrated comment 😂

[@jpsportsection]

Have personally been overcoming and questioning my religious childhood. Im 21 and I am only now opening up to how crazy, western christianity is. The purity argument was made to scare everyone under 18 and to condemn everyone who even thought of enjoying their sexual desires, even while MARRIED! Everyone is repressed, everyone is forced to smile, no one has any idea on how to answer hard questions, and theres no help for whenever you "drop the ball" except praying and reading arbitrary verses. I feel bad for my sisters that would eat this up. Love you Pinely (non homo, i dont wanna go to hell)

[@Cyra_The_Jedi]

To be fair, it depends on the denomination you grew up in. Some are better than others

[@SomeoneElse-z4t]

More reasons I appreciate my reverend growing up. He was a grandfather, had 3 kids of his own and a wad of grand-kids and he basically said that if he hadn't run into the problem personally, one of his kids likely had so he had a good wealth of experience to council people on romance and family issues. I was devastated when I found out he was the exception, not the rule for how religious leaders are. No god who loves his children would want for them to suffer the way the puritanical prudish mindset has twisted the church into enforcing.

[@space_cadetmk6125]

Welcome friend, it's weird and sort of unfamiliar here, but in a reflective and much healthier, open, choose-your-own adventure type way. I finally acknowledged my own loss of faith years ago, and the deconstruction plus long journey of healing from religious repressive trauma is still ongoing. Here to say you're not alone and as unusual as it may be looking back sometimes, definitely don't give up

[@jpsportsection]

​@@Cyra_The_JediYeah. Are any of them right tho? I also grew up in Mars Hill and a very reformed/Presbyterian churches. I also had a lot of catholic, lutheran, and progressive (sexually non judgmental) friends and family. Their core beliefs are on repressing certain emotions. I understand that not every denomination is bad but the fact that you can generalize all wester christianity into a couple of slots is ridiculous. Theyre not all bad but theyre no where near good

[@jpsportsection]

​@@space_cadetmk6125Thank you! The hardest thing for people in the church to accept is a very simple statement. If God is the God of logic, reasoning, science and math. (Literal facts that everyone can agree on) Then why can we not use those to prove God? Why cant those ideas lead us back to God? If youre not confident ill still be a christian then youre not configlsent in your God. Sorry for expressing this here but i really appreciate the encouragement! :)

[@soljoez]

Holy shit that woman Karissa King was my therapist all throughout high school, it was so jarring to see her in this video 😭 I had no idea she had connections with Girl Defined. She’s always been a Christian therapist but I’m queer and trans as fuck (and was christian in high school), and even though Karissa was never outwardly bigoted towards me, I’m so disappointed to see her with these awful women. Totally wasn’t expecting to see a piece of my life in this Pinely video 😂

[@TotallyRandomStufff]

At least it seems like she's kind of the highlight of the course, at least by Pinely's account

[@FlamingWalrus317]

She may not know much about them to be fair, but yeah it's not a great look

[@dannyg.4421]

Is that the women in the video that wrote that essay about "is it godly to be gay" or something like that in the video. Crazy

[@Bab3Bat3]

I'm so sorry mam 🙏

[@vikrambalaji4126]

was she chill to talk to?

[@maxiwaxipads]

Congratulations on your transition of being a single christian female!!!

[@marzipan__]

Just MTF trans? Boring. Done a million times throughout history. Get with the times, be MTSCF trans - male to single christian female

[@lavendersss]

@@marzipan__LOLLLL

[@peppermorrison]

Both sisters have discussed at length how incredibly disappointing they found their bedroom time with their new husbands after marriage. And instead of considering why God's plan for their perfect romantic fulfillment was so unfulfilling, or considering how they may have contributed to this widespread lack of satisfaction through the encouragement constant anxiety, vigilance and general disgust with their desires that puriry culture creates, they just pivoted into whatever this is.

[@zoeb3573]

The rest of society has figured out you need experience you figure out what you lack in parnert, but nah, let's keep marrying people we barely know, for God.

[@leryco4803]

@Poodle_Gun they weren't really implying that, just that having experience in that helps tremendously, I figure by experience they are also including masturbation which girl defined condems for some reason

[@leryco4803]

@Poodle_Gun I was going to say you reacted sort of hostile for no reason, but then I remembered this is the internet and people automatically assume you are attacking them, or just read your tone diferently. I was just clarifying, bc you said it was ridiculous logic, but there's a basis to it. Of course you dont need to have experience to know what you like or not, just being able to explore your sexuality/desire without shame. The commenter above did not imply that you need you have sex at 14 to know, they were just using a generalization in a joking way that experience does usually help with that, and they clearly brought it up bc girl defined is so against it, so its a relevant argument. Its easy to get caught up in something, get defensive and misunderstand what others are actually trying to say, but just look at the context and the tone in which they said it. Like its clearly not the only way to learn about yourself, you sound like "i like pancakes" "so you hate waffles?" like why get ticked off about that?

[@MariaPaula-uw3ds]

​@zoeb3573 this is the logic of predat0rs

[@MariaPaula-uw3ds]

​@Poodle_Gunwhat you said really made no sense, people are weird

[@sofaoofa]

That getting married at 30 being weird is crazy, but I used to tell people I wanted to get married at age 27. Everyone gasped and said that's too old. I was raised mormon. that's just how it is in fundie religions

[@EveAndHerThieves]

I live in Utah. I'm 30 and just getting back into the dating pool. According to most Utahens I'm an old maid and will never marry. I should have my half of a townhouse, six kids, an Instagram I use for my MLM side hustle, and a husband who works with computers for a living. The fact that I don't basically makes me an outcast.

[@sofaoofa]

@@EveAndHerThieves oof that is the utah dating life sadly. Tho if you look at non lds people, hopefully it should be more normal? idk tho, best of luck to you

[@ongakira]

married at 30 is kinda young

[@justsomegirlwithoutamustache]

27 is a reasonable age

[@maggiee639]

@@EveAndHerThievesI’m very thankful I live in NYC where 30 is practically a child bride, almost everyone gets married in their 30s here.

[@hans9725]

it’s weird because it’s like they’re saying, “instead of being ashamed of your sexual thoughts, just be grateful you aren’t gay lol”

[@aliaelle322]

As a Jew that grew up in a very Christian town I am great at the respectful head bow, mind goes blank while people are doing Christian prayers. I find that works fine. No one needs you to say the prayer with them. Just be quiet and respectful.

[@maggiee639]

As someone who was raised catholic and now has mostly Jewish friends it works both ways. Love a respectful head bow

[@Arualiaa]

As someone who was also raised Catholic, it baffles me that people will just pray out loud, shamelessly announcing what’s going g through their heads. I’m not religious anymore but I was always taught that you should pray in silence bc 1 it’s supposed to be a private FaceTime with your pal god/jesus/mary/the other Mary/your town’s local and obscure Mary/the saint du jour (I always did joke that Catholicism is just polytheism with extra steps) and 2, it’s annoying. If everyone in church were announcing their prayers like they’re selling their wares at the grocer’s market, the priest may as well apply for unemployment because saying prayer out loud is supposed to be his job lmao

[@delusion5867]

@@Arualiaa ​I'm not Christian but I went to Christian schools, I remember being taught that praying in private where no one can see you is the ideal way to pray. Specifically Matthew 6:5-6, the passage is "directly" said by Jesus which would constitute a very important Christian doctrine. This whole chapter is what I consider the most annoyingly ignored part by many Christians today (especially Matthew 6:24, I'm looking at you megachurches and rich preachers). I actually really like the ideas of loving your neighbour, doing good quietly, and non-retribution, too bad people want to hate.

[@oh_bruhh]

⁠@@Arualiaathat's very interesting, growing up i was sometimes told the opposite. i remember being told that if you pray in your head god won't hear you. but then at the same time i never knew anyone who would pray while going about their day. it was more of a thing to do when you wake up and before you go to sleep

[@TC-ku4vv]

I just wish it went both ways. I relate to Christians as a spiritual people and I have a lot in common with them. It just bothers me when any Spiritual people don't ask for consent or give a graceful opportunity to opt out of an experience. Like if I was openly praying to my guides, idk that they would also bow their heads and hold hands the way they expect others to. Like them, I would not like to invite energy or a presence I was unfamiliar with or disconnected from. Imagine if I and a few other people started a ritual without explaining what it means and just expected everyone to follow.

[@jaendhoe3962]

thank god for your sexuality- unless you're queer thank god you're a woman- unless you're trans thank god for your sexuality, so you may repress it thank god for creating this course that tries to demystify sex, which we profited by mystifying it in previous courses amen

[@acetheist3932]

lololol

[@Belial289]

christians really do sicken me to no end.

[@RealQwerty1998]

@@blackcatcommenter🤡

[@devildazai]

​@@blackcatcommenteryou literally just proved the og comment's point🤡

[@Lucifersfursona]

@@blackcatcommenter oh honey, bless your heart. Just bless my heart and get on with it. Fewer characters to type and more time to clasp your hands firmly around your lord.

[@rampion1228]

Thought crime is such a huge thing in christian communities (not saying everyone holds to it but it is in the bible) and it took me years and years after leaving christianity to work through it.

[@ArturGlass.C]

Wasn't even super involved in Christianity but my mother's catholic and it's so present in everything, it's still something I'm seriously struggling with. Currently working on healing from OCD because of how bad this insane shit got. I'm still daily having to acknowledge how stupid the fears in my head are and clearly implanted nonsense.

[@Meckolo]

I feel absolutely awful for people who feel they have to follow that, i’ve struggled with terrible intrusive thoughts in the past that convinced me things that i knew weren’t true and would literally leave me incapacitated for days, if i had ‘sin’ and going to hell looming over me as WELL as all of that because of “impure thoughts” i think i would’ve lost it

[@cyndrift]

when i was 15 i had a pretty severe nervous breakdown because i thought god and the devil were in my head watching my thoughts and waiting for me to slip, and i was so scared of thinking anything in case it was "wrong" that my brain just whited out in pure terror. looking back i think that was one of the final straws for me leaving the faith. no amount of external theories or arguments could justify to me the physical toll it was clearly taking on my body. its been years since ive been to church and i still have to remind myself fairly often that having a thought (especially the questionable or intrusive kind) does not define me as a person, or have any inherent moral implications. A lone thought is just that.

[@SpecialInterestShow]

I wasn't even extremely religious, like, we didn't go to church too often. There were little things like not being allowed to watch ATLA, and Christian music often being on the TV ig, but for the most part Christianity was a background thing. ... Cue me developing OCD and immediately becoming obsessive compulsive about my own actions and even my own thoughts. If I even slightly thought the "wrong" thing (which felt like just about always, due to intrusive thoughts), I'd have to compulsively pray. It came to such a bad point that I did my biggest regret: ripping apart a 500+ page book I had been writing for YEARS. all because my brain went "the things in there are sinful!" So, it doesn't even take that heavy of Christianity to fuck someone up into thinking they're committing thought crimes. I know part of my trigger was stress from other stuff, but my Christianity obsession was so severe that I was being scolded by teachers for praying instead of doing work at school -_- This is why you should NEVER teach your kids thought crimes exist in any way!

[@kelechi_77]

Thought crime isn't in the bible. Jesus Christ himself advocated for people to be skeptics and question everything. "Beware of false prophets, which come to you in sheep's clothing, but inwardly they are ravening wolves" (Gospel of Matthew 7:15). One should arrive to their own conclusion when examining Christianity, and not forced into it like many are doing today, people should be free to examine it all themselves and decide, it is very bad what parents are doing by indoctrinating their children into it and telling them to not question them at all and follow blindly, when this is not at all what Jesus preached.

[@35mmShowdown]

It really is a shame that “anybody can be anybody these days“. I wish we could go back to the past, when anybody could be anybody, but they hid it really, really, painfully hard.

[@emmanarotzky6565]

“Dear God, I discovered something today- you made a mistake and created some people that I don’t like. Please get rid of them and from now own only make the kinds of people that are on my list of favorites. You can find the list in my blog. Thanks, Bethany. Amen.”

[@ellefleck8709]

not bethanys sex course i have had ENOUGH of this woman 😭

[@annegrey3780]

As an asexual who went to Catholic school, I will never forget the priest in confession telling me (16) that I needed to confess to all my sins...when I didn't mention anything sexual, they kept insisting that I just have at least thought about sex. Like, Sir, when I was 14 my mom told me that after school the following day she'd answer sex questions I had in a birds and the bees talk and I freaked out because I didn't have questions - I didn't know there was a reverse pop quiz on this - I got a lot of sinful shit in my brain and exactly 0% of it is sex-related. And then he's like "well, it's wonderful you'll be able to maintain you're purity until marriage" and I was like "yah, I don't really think it's a purity thing but I don't see me being interested before or after"...like I don't know, what's pure about just not thinking about shit you aren't interested in? So then I watch this old man process this then start feverishly flipping through his bible to find passages to tell me why *that's* sinful. Apparently I'm supposed to go forth and multiply and it's very selfish of me to just plan to not have sex because I don't feel like it...but like I took math so I don't know what the hell else God wants from me. I did like Jesus though...dude who hangs out in the desert with his friends never having sex...he seems like my homeboy.

[@pixelskull6984]

I am so sorry to hear that. Those are pretty outdated thinking and have personally experienced something similar. I am also an Ace and went to a Catholic school. But if it makes you feel better, i recently went to a Catholic vocation convention and they seem to be pretty open and accepting of the idea of not even getting married at all and staying single, "single-blessedness", they called it (they did mention something along the lines of perhaps it's God's plan you're single, which i found strangely reassuring as an ace like hey there's nothing wrong with me!). I guess what I'm trying to say is, that perhaps there's a chance in the future that we can be widely accepted in society, even in religious circles. Also, why did he even say that's a sin when there is the concept of celibacy when people decide to be a priest or a nun? Kinda strange imo

[@jessz3304]

Image telling her "So you are making your money off of selling sexual products? Kind of like sex workers? Like... The hypocrisy 🤣

[@justinwatson1510]

Don't disparage sex workers by comparing them to Evangelicals.

[@idontwantahandlethough]

Ya know, what's kinda crazy about Girl Defined is that when one looks at things from the perspective that they grew up in... they're actually being *_progressive!_* They're actually daring to talk about these things, which isn't something that variety of Christian really does (esp for women). When I look at their course in that light, it changes how I feel about it. I mean.. I'd *like* to think that there's not anyone normal (read: not absurdly sheltered, naive, and prude) that would take that course. I'd like to think that the only people that will take that are super repressed, and therefore the course might actually be a good thing because it succeeds at communicating "hey maybe sex isn't like... _totally_ evil. Just mostly!" to the most repressed of Christians. The kind of people that are so repressed that more direct, progressive communication (the kind from our secular world) would just scare them away. However, I'm pretty sure I'm wrong in that line of thinking. I tend to overestimating the general sense of your average person :/

[@cup_of_tea755]

Yeah, her course seems really stupid to outsiders but thinking back to when I was a young JW woman someone talking about sexual feelings openly would have been really helpful and I hope some people taking her course get something from it, even if it's just a community who feel the same. Wouldn't have stopped me from being a lesbian but still, less shame is always nice.

[@autumnr9818]

no because in the small, christian bubble she caters to this is a huge step in a sex positive direction and i think not many people are seeing that. yeah it is cringe from the outside but i can’t imagine how many of the actually religious women/girls that let out a huge sigh of relief hearing her even say sex so comfortably.

[@jasonb5964]

I think going out there and meeting knew Christians would change your mind. I'm a recent convert and for instance at my church it is something we talk about it often and discuss it in our small groups. Some traditional churches would look down on that but it all comes down to meeting the right people (and especially young people becoming more aware).

[@justinwatson1510]

There isn't really much progressive about turning faith into a grift; Jerry Falwell / Billy Graham were doing that many decades ago. She is still spreading an objectively harmful message.

[@andreirachko]

I am not kidding - I was prohibited from saying the word “sex” in my family, and the one time I did I was slapped. It’s all real, these girls might actually be so “progressive” for some Christian people that they would condemn them as being too liberal and unchristian.

[@beanburrito4405]

The idea of a Christian sex course is really funny, who is actually paying for this lmao

[@goldensloth7]

the religious and desperately confused?

[@vintagearisen]

I love that it's not just a Christian sex course, it's a Christian sex course for people who aren't even supposed to think about sex

[@aryanram02]

irony reached out to jesus christ for therepy after that peak logic 💀@@vintagearisen

[@TheRockerX]

"There's a sucker born every minute." - PT Barnum

[@zoeb3573]

Especially considering it's targetting unmarried young Christian girls, who is going to pay it for them, their fathers??? certainly not.

[@Farticuss]

If your family does not accept your feelings for minions, I will adopt you. Be the man you are meant to be.

[@Unhingeddirtdog]

Minion pride 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈💛💛💛💛

[@Syco07-pm3iz]

The yellow heart 🙏😭​@@Unhingeddirtdog

[@whatastandupguy3050]

I read minions as minors and was VERY fucking scared lol

[@vlad5042]

man, the part where she talks about praying to god not to let her life end before she gets married is actually really sad

[@zoeb3573]

Scrolling down youtube shorts I've seen many christians saying they hope the rapture doesn't happen before they get married and have children. That is wild to me. If I thought the rapture would happen in my lifetime, the last thing I'd do is pop out kids and put them through that. And I think I'd be too preoccupied with the world ending to worry about whether I'm gonna find a man to marry me, either.

[@Lordidude]

​@@zoeb3573 in their mind this life is nothing, compared to the afterlife. They can still live with their kids after death, so they really want to have them before it's too late. It's really striking how much our fear of the death is driving us humans towards religions.

[@zoeb3573]

@@Lordidude "before it's too late" but everything is supposedly God's will, so it's His choice whether you get to have kids in your mortal lifetime or not, so why even panic, it'll happen if it has to happen and it won't if it shouldn't? Religion is truly one of those things it's impossible for me to make sense of applying logic.... Like you say, it's more driven by fear of death and hope in something better outside of this world than anything else....

[@lindseystein9676]

She definitely has not progressed from purity. She’s just shifted to making these scammy “courses” about sex, only under very particular circumstances and she has a course about how to sell your own courses. She still agrees with purity and “waiting until marriage.”

[@peachy_lili]

Sex course from the girl who waited until her wedding day to kiss? SIGN ME THE HECK UP

[@brightballoon]

That's horrible that Kristen was having sexual thoughts during sexual activity! Also, their facial expressions have so much pity in them. So weird and specific to their brand.

[@WhySoGraphic]

Wait is it a sex course for single women that teaches women to not have sex? Does that still count as a sex course? Im so confused 😂

[@justinwatson1510]

That was the gist of my highschool sex ed. We didn't have to pay for that, at least.

[@sari9645]

That’s literally what sex ed is in the south 😭

[@justinwatson1510]

@@sari9645 American by birth, southern by the grace of god. Lol

[@funshinebear4822]

I'm also confused. Is it for people "struggling with lust" in anticipation of a marriage that hasn't happened yet?

[@PixilatedLives]

My Dad isn’t homophobic but he’s recently started going to church every Sunday, and Friday nights. He’s changed quite a bit, he stopped drinking and smoking, I’m really happy for him. He seems a lot happier now. But going to church has been changing his views slightly…. I’m scared he’s going to… become homophobic? I’m scared because I have had a girlfriend before, I am a girl, and he knew that. So…. I’m probably just over thinking this, I mean I’m just terrified of Christians and church now because of all the homophobic and shit that I’ve heard.

[@sakurayankishi9708]

Don’t worry too much about it and this coming from someone who is a lesbian with deeply religious parents, if they love you they will accept you irrespective of their religion

[@SomeoneBeginingWithI]

Not all chrisitans are homophobic. There are a lot of denominations with in christianity and some of them are actively supportive of queer people and affirming that queer people are a natural part of creation and loved by God. I'm not sure what your relationship with your dad is like, but you might be able to talk to him about it, especially since he already knows that you like girls. You can tell him you're happy for him that he's stopped drinking but also you're worried.

[@dragonshadow4145]

Hopefully he is wise enough to correct or reject any such prejudices. If he needs it, Romans 13 talks about the importance of love, and how love never hurts anyone and thus fulfills all commandments. My own parent picked up some prejudices from religious groups but without believing, but didn’t even realize it was happening.

[@Sootielove]

Every person I've met who is hyper into abstinence culture (not just Christian but Hindu too) has ended up feeling like they belong in prison for having a libido...... then having sex before marriage as soon as they get a boyfriend, completely obsessed with the relationship. Like, I'm aroace so it's a bit beyond me to understand, but militant repression usually leads to a jack-in-the-box style explosion

[@zoeb3573]

A lot of these "purity cultures" teens end up marrying right out of highschool because they just want to have sex and it's the only way and they're too young to understand their impulses don't mean they're in love or compatible. It's sad. They aren't allowed to figure themselves out and they learn when it's too late.

[@kwarra-an]

That's been my experience, too!

[@JennyAlaska]

I wonder what Christian women like Beth think of Indigenous sex culture and our snagging or our views on trans and gay people. Or about how women tend to be the more dominant one in the tango of the art of picking up in Native culture. About partner numbers not even being a thing. Her brain would explode I tell you, simply couldn’t handle it.

[@dabiskitt]

Indigenous sex culture actually sounds very interesting to learn about.

[@mo.ka.9661]

Which indigenous culture in particular?

[@magentatime]

um no... sorry to burst your bubble... but these types dont care, and aren't phased by you. They'd simply think "wow that person RLY needs god" and move on, or like pray over you or something. Tbh, they'd probably find some way to subtly or not-so-subtly be racist about it too. You have no idea how high these people are, on the smell of their own shit.

[@recklessmermaid]

You did not say snagging I’m dead 💀🤣

[@themedia1271]

Can I get a course on this? I'm curious

[@777Rowen]

I’ve been raised Catholic, have been told to be celibate for marriage, and I have been for 32 years.I’m not here to shame anyone who has or hasn’t had sex, to each their own; but Bethany’s course seemed super unhelpful. Bethany isn’t qualified to teach this course, she went from 0-100, and doesn’t have any real knowledge on the topic. I’d rather speak to a professional therapist or sexologist who understands all the ins and outs of sex, from a biological/physical perspective to the psychological one. You are a brave soul for taking this course.

[@epicotakucherry5280]

As someone who grew up in the church, and as a girl in the church, this is unironically 1000% the type of thing they tell women and girls. I’m nearly 25 and still untangling the intense guilt and shame for existing as a being with sexual desires and all that. I’ll need so much fucking therapy to get rid of it. It’s insidious, genuinely. All the stuff she was saying was so much of what I grew up hearing it was almost triggering lol 🙃

[@Pfpfpfpfpf2020]

Same same 😩

[@helgmelia84]

I feel you. I grew up in the church, too, and received a lot of really harmful messaging about sex. I am 39 now, and just married last year. While I am extremely happy with my husband, I do still have to untangle some of what I was taught. If it helps any, I have landed on a few thoughts. Firstly, that culture and doctrine are two very different things. It helped me to focus on the actual words of Christ and tune out the stuff that American Evangelicals had added in. Secondly, I don’t believe that shame ever comes from God. Conviction and shame are subtly different. Conviction can lead us to becoming better people, but shame leads to a kind of shutting down that is deeply opposed to growth. Anyhow, I am so sorry for what you are going through and I want to encourage you that there is hope. But yeah, purity culture sucks.

[@darlanova5182]

Christianity taught me to be disgusted with myself. It taught me to be ashamed of everything I am as a woman. It taught me that males matter more. It taught me that abuse can be love. That hatred and evil can be justified. It taught me to shut up because nothing I say matters and my own body wasn't even mine, it belonged to a man in the sky. It taught me compliance and ignorance is the way, and any defiance or questions are unacceptable. I'm still recovering.

[@ollie4890]

That's horrendous I'm so sorry you went through that ;-; I wish you an easy time healing

[@flowersafeheart]

Oh wow. I hear you. Genuinely wish you all the vest in your healing journey. So sorry you experienced that trauma.

[@MelanieMackey-ke9sg]

I'm Christian but I'm confused, is it the people around you that taught you that?

[@preciousokorie]

@@MelanieMackey-ke9sg It is the people that taught her that, NOT CHRISTIANITY…

[@MelanieMackey-ke9sg]

@@preciousokorie I figured

[@Bigtoe626]

I just think it’s funny that she said Christian women struggle with masturbation- probably because their husbands aren’t getting them off

[@jeyyran]

at first i didn't get what she meant by christian women 'struggle w/ masturbation', i was like why it's not that difficult lol

[@funshinebear4822]

SINGLE Christian women struggle with masturbation. The course is for singles. And she directs them to a paid PDF guide so that they can cut that out and pray the lust away.

[@zoeb3573]

The girls weren't allowed to explore their own sexuality to find what they like, and the boys weren't allowed to explore their own sexuality to find what they like and even LESS how to pleasure a woman. The difference being, when you try that out as an older teen or young adult free to explore as they wish, you kinda expect the first time to suck and that there'll be a learning curve. When you have been taught your whole life to save it until marriage and it will be a magical moment.... and then, well, it's not, because neither of you knows what you're doing.... it's got to be a blow.

[@kasane1337]

@@jeyyran "I don't struggle with masturbation, I'm actually pretty good at it!"

[@joshuasmith147]

If folks can stomach any more girl defined after this video, Rachel Oates's vid on the course is also worth a watch

[@SoVidushi]

I love Rachel! Her videos are a breath of fresh air, love how she takes the time to discuss things in depth without following the fast-paced snappy editing style that we usually expect on youtube.

[@rimkokoa3766]

Yeah that vid was wayyy darker than I thought it would be, I couldn’t finish it because it got to a point where they were discussing something that I try to avoid, but it was VERY informative and though through, I never really found someone as understanding as Rachel in KZbin that can like explain so clearly what’s happening. Worth the watch if you have time and can stomach dark shit.

[@verosaraiva]

I love her! Her videos are always so good, I highly recommend her channel 💗

[@MegaDiva1999]

That was excellent

[@apolloniakageaki1711]

Do you mean the video titled "I took Bethany Beal's (Inter)Course"?

[@isa.rovi08]

How do christians think that going from not kissing until your 20 to confidently having sex without guilt is realistic

[@Mosespilled]

First day at sex school hope they don’t find out I’m a virgin

[@TheOneWhoKnocks969]

Welcome to another episode of what a weird world we are living in.

[@sophiayoung1095]

“even after my 365 day friendmaxxing streak, i still didnt have a husband!!”

[@TheFeelingOfC]

Wait wait wait the sexual gratitude list is actually a really interesting concept, it doesn’t have to be a different thing everyday and it could range from something you like about your body, something your body can consistently sexually give you or your partner or stuff like that, like I’m actually super intrigued by that and might start doing it every so often bc well sex can be difficult for everyone and sometimes you gotta remind yourself that sex is safe and good

[@leryco4803]

yeah, i think that was an excercise to get people to start associating their sexuality with positive thougths? which is a really good thing! I just wish they phrased it differently or even provided examples to things to be grateful for, like, i wouldnt know what to write and i think the kind of people that would attend this course would know even less lol

[@KairiMorin]

Personally I've choosen not to sleep with anyone until I'm married, however, I realize I'm ace and only want to have sex to have children, or to please my partner. You have to discover your own preferences and not decide something based upon only your religion.

[@Amee69]

thats kinda beautiful im in tears

[@crazyowlgirlcncowner]

I am religious but I'll be honest I don't follow my religion exactly as I'm told to. For example, I got my ears pierced even though I technically should not have. But I also think I personally want to wait until marriage because it would make me feel more confident that the other person isn't just using me for sex. That they actually love me enough to get married. And like you, I'm also mainly interested in it for the purpose of having kids

[@girl-fromthemoon]

Having sex only to please your partner does not sound like a good idea at all. It can cause serious psychological damage, not to mention it can really corrupt the couple's intimate dynamics (not just physical, but emotional). Why would you engage in something you don't enjoy just to please someone else? It seems very disrespectful of you and your mental health. No one is entitled to sexual fulfillment at the expense of someone else's integrity.

[@jasonb5964]

Massive respect. I think many people should open their minds to these values because it will lead to a much happier life than sleeping around with randoms (logically and statistically leads to a happier marriage). I use to be brainwashed by the "sexual compatibility" argument but it's total crap, sex comes natural.

[@KairiMorin]

@@girl-fromthemoon That's a lot of assumptions about me your making. I'm not sex repulsed, I just don't find it to be something I personally enjoy. Also, I'm not currently in any relationship even romantically, so, I haven't had a discussion with anyone about this, I'm going to talk to my partner about this once it becomes necessary.

[@Seypenni]

a lot of older generation folk act as if once you past 23 - 25, you're too old to marry. My grandma tried to hook me up with many men, including a widower twice my age........... It didn't work

[@MariaPaula-uw3ds]

It's bcs they use religion to justify grooming

[@vintagearisen]

As a married woman the same age as Bethany, I am much too young to hear her talk about sex relentlessly

[@Muhluri]

As a Christian, I think it’s important to take your relationship with God seriously. The problem with Girl Defined is that Christianity is her only personality trait and they think you must be a perfect Christian. The reality is that that’s not possible. Even the Bible acknowledges that humans are imperfect.

[@Sh12pen]

Preaching the bible but they've never read it 😂 Even the devil canonically can quote scripture

[@supermaryg]

I'm really upset about how her tone is that society as a whole is saying "girls can do whatever they want." It's just the complete opposite in reality, we still constantly shame and condemn women for being s*xual while simultaneously demanding they be s*xual. We live in a world where onlyfans models are making bank while simultaneously being constantly demeaned and taken as joked - flat out dehumanized because "they're an onlyfans model". I'm not hearing that her prudish stance is a minority when I now see videos of women just dancing with other men (PG13 at worst) and the majority of responses are "that's at least xxx bodies" -- meaning her dancing is the equivalent to having s*x with multiple men, which is viewed in this instance as a very bad thing (obv not for a man tho). A woman simply having fun dancing means she's ruined- that's the narrative today. Only men have ever been allowed to be s*xually open and her pretending otherwise is honestly disgusting. She's railing against a minority that is fighting for women's rights, trying to be heard, and she's acting like THEY are the oppressors, not her. Disgusting.

[@Andy-rk4iu]

Someone sorta mentioned it but it is like, genuinely a concern in Christian circles for women to tell men about their sexual struggles of any form bc they will likely be taken advantage of (also bc of the repression 😒). Like I have such an ingrained fear of men doing terrible things to me and I understand most men don’t!!! But I can’t have any male doctors or go to a male therapist bc you are constantly told men take advantage of you if you are vulnerable

[@corneliahanimann2173]

I know this isn't any help, but wpmen can take advantage of you too.

[@hollyleavves]

​@@corneliahanimann2173 you are right, but societal expectations for women amplify the issue tenfold when it comes to the opposite sex. Female abusers are not often taken accountable of, even mocking victims for letting a woman (or "the lesser sex" for those with thicker skulls) manipulate them. Btw you worded your comment exactly like an intrusive thought lmao. I know it wasn't intentional but it made me chuckle a little.

[@corneliahanimann2173]

@@hollyleavves It was an intrusive thought😂😂. And yes I agree with all of what you say!

[@hoshireed77]

The irony is that many communities will at the same time say that a woman's place is in the home not the workplace. So where are you to find those working female doctors so you can avoid a male one?

[@MariaPaula-uw3ds]

Ok, but men taking advantage of you is not something that only happens in Christian circles... It's because we live in the patriarchy, we live in a r@pe culture, unfortunately. I don't trust in male doctors not bcs of religion or anything related, it's bcs I know many r@pes happen every day, so it's not something irrational to think that way. The problem is churches blaming women for that, instead of forcing men to take accountability for their actions and teaching them to respect women

[@bimpadimp]

tara mooknee doing an american accent for the girl defined reading was so funny

[@mccorade5941]

Interesting how bethy was all like "purity culture failed to prepare me for sex within marriage, so i wanna give advice to single women so they can be better prepared", and yet the "advice" she gave is the exact same "learn how to not think about sex" spiel she was giving prior to getting married.

[@mrmcduck4902]

There's such an arrogance to selling a course to just regurgitate the same talking points evangelical churches have had for the last 50 years. Like, the implication is that these women are too thick to realise this is not novel at all, or they are really shameless in exploiting their audience.

[@kwarra-an]

More like the past 500 years

[@pseudonymous9153]

​@@kwarra-an No, but congrats on outing yourself as knowing nothing about Christianity.

[@juliajane9290]

If Beffy heard my husband and I got married at 36/37 and are HAPPY her head would explode.

[@piros100]

but wait, is your husband younger and shorter than you? because if not, then you can not even come close to Bethy's spicy sexy marriage 🤣🤣

[@benro6564]

As much as I love Cody and Noel, I can't help but feel like their reaction on Girl Defined was responsible for them reaching more people and spreading their reductive and harmful beliefs. Big fan of the bisexual lightning btw

[@__m-a-x__]

When she said “autonomy” like it was a bad thing I lost it lol these people are so deluded. the internalized self-hatred is STRONG cause they get ‘em young.

[@daftoptimist]

When purity culture tells you that sex is only for procreation, that is all that your body was made for, and you get to an age where medically, you could have lower chances of childbearing - yeah, in that context, the thought of marrying in your thirties can be pretty bad. From that perspective, if you never have children, you’ve “wasted” your life.

[@wyldstallyns__]

he thought sex school was only for one day, he mad

[@rainbowlack]

im studying for sex school 😎

[@xzy5690]

I am grateful for the homo in my sexuality. Thank you god

[@Unhingeddirtdog]

If you squint and turn your head a lil Judas and jesus were just a little bit gay /j

[@MS-ij8ud]

this woman spent her whole life supressing her natural sexuality, shaming herself and others for even having THOUGHT about sexuality, avoiding anything remotely sexual at all times..... and now shes trying to teach and coach people on sex and sexuality...? lol as if she knows anything on that topic

[@tsifirakiehl4250]

I’m pretty sure I know more about sex than she does, and the most physically intimate I’ve ever been with another person was a kiss on the cheek.

[@styrofoam4637]

she basically just said “god loves everyone… unless you’re lgbtq” yikes

[@tsifirakiehl4250]

Which is proof that she doesn’t actually understand the Bible. The one line in the Bible that supposedly condemns homosexuality is actually mistranslated. In the original Aramaic, the line is a condemnation of pedophilia. There’s also nothing in there about people being trans, asexual, or any other queer identity, so “Christian” hate for them is completely out of nowhere.

[@whitneym.9358]

Based on my (admittedly limited) understanding of classical conditioning, I think following Bethany's advice about reciting bible verses could result in some uhh... Interesting pavlovian responses.

[@wareforcoin5780]

She just has to dress up like a nun and it's a party.

[@taxfrauddotcom]

Tbh it reads more to me like an OCD symptom (speaking as someone with OCD who grew up in evangelicalism). You have thoughts/anxieties that seem "dangerous", so you have a compulsive response to try and kill the thought

[@vintagearisen]

Aaw, you can be a god-honouring single girl now

[@SpicyPeasant]

Halfway through the video I realize why I recognized her name, this is the lady that wrote the article “we need to start befriending neonazis”

[@lavernebennet7395]

she definitely doesn't have a vested interest in that or anything [sarcasm], what with the Nazi grandpa

[@exploringwithk]

Even more reason to stay FAR away from her!

[@mynameisregret6441]

The mind virginity thing angers me so much. I grew up ın a family with that type of belief system and ıt was NOT fun to be a teen there.

[@steviebanana5856]

i was a repressed christian for a while, and have some experience in cults too unfortunately, and one thing that seems pretty obvious to me now is how easy it is to control people when you teach them to be ashamed of perfectly normal things. any unrealistic expectation (like mind virginity) creates so much rigidity and need to prove yourself good enough. and for me in the cult i was in, when i failed to meet impossible expectations of course, i was shamed. and even when i made progress in some goal, it simply was never ever enough. it sounds hard to believe maybe, but by constantly holding back acceptance or praise or acknowledgement, i was totally dependent on them the same as if they actually did provide me with it.

[@MariaPaula-uw3ds]

This is very interesting to think about

[@bbyjirl]

I don’t know this lady, but honestly this is probably her version of being wild and rebellious, I’m kind of excited for her lol

[@tsunamix0147]

If there’s one thing my Religion & Pop Culture class taught me, it’s that purity culture does not work

[@l0velycry452]

I’m so baffled by the 30 reasons you’re “grateful” for your sexuality…like as a pansexual woman I guess I’m like “I’m grateful I kept all my options open”???? Am I doing this wrong

[@kwowka]

Pfft me an asexual: thank god I opted out before getting to the weird shit

[@liana3886]

I’m a panromantic asexual: thank god I have my options for romantic partners open, might actually find another ace more easily 🤣

[@kelsey2990]

No no, I think you’ve got it. I keep finding myself very grateful to be a lesbian because…well, women.

[@sinfulpuritan3430]

As an aroace: I'm grateful I don't have to worry about relationships and sex.

[@emmanarotzky6565]

1. I’m grateful I’m attracted to women 2. I’m grateful I’m attracted to men 3. I’m grateful I’m attracted to agender people 4. I’m grateful I’m attracted to genderfluid people 5. I’m grateful I’m attracted to bigender people 6. I’m grateful I’m attracted to omnigender people 7. I’m grateful I’m attracted to demigender people Etc.!

[@aqua-bery]

18:26 "this is about control" IVE BEEN SAYING THAT!!! I feel so seen rn

[@ruthc.5414]

I took classes similar to this when I was a teen at church. Basically they're setting out the expectations and rules for how to be "godly" and basically creating an institutional, educational basis for deference to those ideas. There's a lot of fear and shame mixed in there. Almost fifteen years later, I'm still pulling those brain worms out.

[@ChunkTheEditor]

Religious people and sex is always one of the worst combos

[@gunnarthedude8205]

Honestly, the best part is her stigmatization of getting married at 30; like, wow, you got married at 30, there’s totally not a large group of people who get married at 40, no, no, everyone gets married WAY before 30 (this person probably thinks most people get married at like 18 lol)

[@MariaPaula-uw3ds]

They should be more worried about young girls being groomed, specially in Christian groups, justified by the religion

[@pinotnoir4234]

"Women can do what they want! except be gay, or be men" damn that's not a lot of options then

[@corneliahanimann2173]

The time in chich the bible was written did not really have a word for "gay", because being gay was a normal thing. Hadrian, the roman emporer was, what we would nowadays call, an openly gay man. Homophobia had to be introduced to people.

[@ٴٴٴٴ_0]

@corneliahanimann2173 The Romans did have several words for gay people, I think it was the Sumerians who didn't have any. And the Bible isn't a product of pagan Roman culture; it's mostly ancient Hebrew and monotheistic religions have always been much less open about homosexuality. And even pagan cultures like the Romans and the Greeks were actually kinda homophobic for today's standards.

[@corneliahanimann2173]

@@ٴٴٴٴ_0 then how come that they had people like Hadrian around? Is there a latin word for "gay" then? Maybe you can explain that to me

[@ٴٴٴٴ_0]

@@corneliahanimann2173 Some Latin words for homosexual men: cinaedus, pathicus, exoletus, concubinus. And this is just the beginning of a long list. When I say that they were homophobic by today's standards I mean that only a very specific kind of homosexuality was socially praised: older men who took a "masculine" role in a relationship with a younger, socially inferior boy. This kind of man, like emperor Hadrian himself, was considered virtuous and manly. Any other kind of same-sex sexuality was usually treated as odd, and "effeminate" (mollis) was a common insult directed towards men. It was commonplace in ancient Rome that when you didn't like a politician, you'd spread rumors about him being gay (the non-virtuous kind). This happened to Julius Caesar and many others. So the Romans and Greeks were more a bit more accepting of homosexuality than Egyptians or Hebrews who saw it as a sin, but they'd still be considered homophobic today. Hope this helped!

[@corneliahanimann2173]

@@ٴٴٴٴ_0 I see, I read about this more in a manner where sexuality was seen less about feminine and masculine roles, but more active/ passive or dominant/submissive roles.

[@celinechahine3244]

Not all heroes wear capes, some of them pay for a girl defined sex course

[@DANIxDANGER]

thank you sir for taking one for the team.

[@arthrfleck]

This was beautiful. Thank you for being a voice for the other minionsexuals. ✊

[@jobeiden]

abigail orr sounds like a character from the series of unfortunate events

[@hannahholford2250]

As a Christian I really appreciated how you handled this so tactfully - you had empathy for the girls and I really appreciate that Also this is so funny!!

[@wonthangsoop]

She had sex once for the very first time and now she can't get enough. She was indeed, missing out. All of the sudden, teenage pregnancy doesn't seem that bad anymore. Live life with no regrets. Having normal human experiences is OP. Enjoy everything life has to offer.

[@labandida2334]

A lot of men, both secular and Christian, will talk about how dating younger women is ideal in every single capacity. As a Christian woman, you’re taught to marry young by generations where marrying young was normal. That’s not her fault for feeling insecure in that way.

[@cyndrift]

I was raised in a pretty conservative christian environment, not quite as extreme as GD but definitely sympathetic to their specific breed of fundie. I was asexual for the entire time I was in the church, but this changed when I started to medically transition in my 20s. Even though I grew up not caring about sex at all and I pretty much just shrugged off all the shaming around not doing it as a foregone conclusion, and in the present I'm pretty accepting of my own desires and feelings on a conscious level, I still usually end up feeling disgusting and broken whenever I engage with my sexuality in any way. Treating sexuality as a sin is incredibly damaging to a young person's development and it's wild how that shit still manages to linger in your subconscious. The disgusted looks I'd get from family and churchgoers 5 times my age whenever I'd do or say I liked something that happened to be just a bit too "worldly" for them (that I liked reading about greek mythology is one I remember) is probably one of the single worst things I've ever experienced (and there's some steep competition). As a kid it's like someone telling you that the person you are is vile and shameful, which feels on a base level similar to the shaming around sexuality. I mean, you can't stop it or change it, especially not when you're so intent on repressing it, so making it so taboo is basically like saying that something about YOU, on a fundamental level, is broken and wrong. Which funnily enough is also something they also say out loud! To children! yeah no, fuck that.

[@MyYoutubeChannelBabyyyy]

It *is* interesting see it play out exactly like we all thought it would. Repressing your sexuality and then being obsessed with sex.

[@Zephyrs]

I live in a town with a pretty big Christian college and for women there, 30 is super old to get married. There are young women who think they pretty much need to be engaged before they graduate or they “failed”

[@elin_]

My goodness.. I can't believe how these glamorized cults can be legal.

[@logansmithrodrigues6244]

Watching this in 2024, it’s so sad that pinely (1999-2023) is dead now

[@nissan_skyline]

The part about her unknowingly drinking a fly was the best part of this sex course.

[@zseabeard]

thank you for helping me understand how to be a sexual christian woman!!!! i need to update my linked-in profile

[@spiinniing]

As an unmarried lesbian witch with a trans girlfriend I'm so thankful for this INFORMATIVE and LIFE CHANGING course! From now on I'll be sure to have my gay sex out of wedlock in a way that TRULY glorifies GOD. 🥰🕊

[@pensivelyrebelling]

So, she hosted the videos for this course that people have to pay to access on YT. I’m not usually one to ever call out TOS violations, but since it’s Bethany and her stuff is harmful, it seems like it should be known that it’s against the YT TOS to host video content that‘s “the primary basis for such sales” - I wonder what would happen if YT found out about that. 🤔

[@dacrow-caws]

The rant on the fly in the straw actually hit a cord with me cause I had a similar exhorting with my water bottle and now I have to drink bottles with a clear top or clear bottle