I’ve Dated a Married Man for 6 Years

I’ve Dated a Married Man for 6 Years
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[@Love-bo3df]

My father told me “a man willing to leave his wife and children for you is not a man worth having”, I have never forgotten this price of advice. Thanks Dad ❤

[@stephaniecobb1497]

That's so true.. They just don't have any morals.. This has to stop .. women need to have better RESPECT for themselves.. A married man are no good for them. It's not a good feeling to find out your husband had cheated for 4 yrs ..So they want to be in the same position the wife is in. Tell them .

[@happinessreed5957]

Wow Powerful words of wisdom

[@notmybrother8727]

I bet that has never left you.

[@antmanselector]

That's a simp... any self respecting man will.leave wen his wife stops showing him passion and meeting g his needs

[@Love-bo3df]

@@antmanselector I self respecting person will file for divorce before starting an affair. It’s also illegal to have an affair, you are both in a signed contract.

[@ShellSellars-Smith]

You do not "date" a married man/woman.. you participate in interfering with a marriage. It's time we bring shame back to this act.

[@roses6564]

In fact, no. It's time we admit that marriage must be a sound and well matched union between soulmates who choose to be with each other, not just a control mechanism. If a partner is straying or even considers the possibility, they are not yours, or at least not exclusively, married or not. A union between two people is not a control game where one can call dibs on another. Spiritually, individuals will always be autonomous, marriage or not. Inspire that person naturally to want you and only you, or let go of the illusions of control. A married person can always fall in love with someone else and leave for them. People can moralize about marriage until you they go blue in the face, the naturalistic reality will never change.

[@justanothergoy5900]

women refuse to accept that men are polygynous by nature

[@lindanorris2455]

RIGHT ON! SOME MARRIAGES NEED INTERFERRING WITH! THINK ABOUT IT!

[@roses6564]

@@lindanorris2455 Many are a waste of two lives. The more these mismatched unions divorce the better the pool of eligibles for divorced people who at least had the courage and integrity to say no to a mental prison. The sanctimony about “da children” is what gets me the most. So you can take care of your children and cooperate with their other parent only if you have the piece of paper to control and manipulate with, and if not … you don’t?? It’s all about “da children.” No it’s about your ego and your personal interest, being terrified of failure in the eyes of the world. Dogma and pharisaical behavior are the scariest things. Divorce rates are too low, considering the general soundness of marital choices in youth (poor), not too high.

[@vickimerritt2832]

bring back alienation of affection.

[@dubyabalthazar4598]

"Hes had affairs before me"...girl, are u even hearing urself?? Baby leave him n never ever do this again. This guy is the absolute worse! And he most definitely has gotten other mistresses pregnant before.

[@user-ov6gi3ee4b]

Chances are, Katie isn't the "exclusive" mistress in his life at the time.

[@dubyabalthazar4598]

@@user-ov6gi3ee4b oohhhh...very true

[@Jaquster]

He may be even having relationships now in addition to Katie. This man has no integrity

[@1Icyman]

She is the perpetual side-chic. She has confused her sexual marketplace value with her relationship value. 99% she's unattractive, maybe over weight. This guy gives her attention and she fell for it. A single man can never compete with a married that is desperate for a side-chic. The marries many will go to extremes to get laid. 💔

[@jennprescott2757]

She’s trash also

[@Marcycat7]

Never mess with a married man. It's a losing game. You are hurting another woman. You are not a victim. His wife is. You better run and fast.

[@TheJesusChick]

And the children

[@elizabethd5264]

Do u think mistresses care ?

[@shaw6865]

@@elizabethd5264 sometimes men manipulate and lie in order to get in an affair. In this case the caller was aware. In a lot of cases married men persue someone and lie to them about being married, sometimes until it completely unravels & the truth surfaces.

[@4gma59]

Give her a break. He's an experienced career cheater. She's young. Naive. Lonely, and maybe a little desperate. She'll have to learn the hard way, obviously.

[@benitadavis659]

Stop judging!

[@stillpril8942]

Gave him her virginity and sacrificed their first born so he could go home to his wife and kids. Am i hearing this right?

[@schnee78]

What first born?)) A first born is someone that is born.

[@CloneDanMan]

😂 damn when u say it like that

[@kf338]

Brutal

[@user-kc9xu9tm3n]

Yep, a very me 1st person for sure.

[@houseplant7441]

@@schnee78Not in this context.

[@tcot5190]

I am a wife who this happened to and just so the caller knows… I have been broken and a shell of a person since the minute I found out. It’s been 2 years and I’m still living through PTSD. The caller does not understand the havoc she caused to the wife’s soul.

[@sarahm9968]

The thing is, while what she has done is unethical, morally wrong and obviously hurtful; it is her/your husband that has caused that havoc. The other person could be easily replaceable with another affair, another name, another person. They are in many ways irrelevant to the relationship.The commitment and love that was promised (and betrayed) by the person you thought you could trust and spend your life with, that is what wrecks you.

[@MsValiG]

She caused nothing, she was in love. Your husband was obviously not

[@marishamayer204]

@@sarahm9968 If she knew the man she was sleeping with was married, then she was just as guilty as he was. When she does marry - Karma will get her and she'll be cheated on, as well. It's always women who try to justify these types of women and go against the wife - single women, swingers (married, but in an "open relationship") and feminists.

[@aqua6613]

I've been on both sides and karma does hit. I was married and he went out of the commitment. First there was a "friend" who when i asked to back off cussed me out. She passed away 2 years later in her mid thirties with a 13 year old daughter. He then moved on with a pregnant stripper. She thought she had grabbed a cash cow because he had money. He died of a heart attack and her twins were born 3 weeks later. I had left with nothing because he tried to destroy me and he himself was destroyed. This was 5 years ago and I am perfectly restored and I've rebuilt my life. Met another guy who said he was single etc with a baby momma...checked his Facebook to find him "in a relationship " with his ex wife. They've been divorced 7 years and she's endured 2 other girlfriends before me in hopes that he will marry her again. So some women choose to stay with a man despite his efforts to leave. She knew about me because he had told his parents on a three way call with me that he wanted to move on. I mean I understand when you have kids with someone it's somewhat a packaged deal and I didn't mind that. So she had a choice to handle that and she prefers keeping up appearances on Facebook and with their extensive friends and family and I get that for the sake of the kids...but in the end you're living a lie. Can't tell me that he had a woman for 6 years and the wife didn't know. She just thought she could change the situation and have him choose her. I choose myself because people are people and do many foolish things.

[@marishamayer204]

@@donaldjohnson-cz9mm If Karma "doesn't exist", then "you reap what you sow", certainly does exist. It's a well known fact that women who knowingly help a married man cheat on their wives, get cheated on by the same man and if and when they finally do get married, they will get cheated on by their husbands. This is especially true in the case of homewreckers who marry the men they cheat with. Many "second wives" became "second wives" because they helped destroy the marriage of the first wife.

[@CO2isfake]

Why do mistresses think they’re the only mistress??? She thinks she’s having a love connection? The husband probably has 3 or 4 other dumb girls on the hook.

[@aleia4654]

That was the case with the main woman my husband “dated” while married to me. She thought he was just in a bad marriage, unable to leave because of the kids, but truly und uniquely in love with her. I almost feel bad for her, because there were always several other women. They were just more clear on their role in his life and the level of honesty they could expect from him.

[@Teenywing]

@@aleia4654 did you feel for you? it seems like you were the biggest sukka of all.

[@Price8903]

@@aleia4654 mistresses know that these married men are lying when they say they’re stuck or forced to stay married or their wife is horrible. They believe the lies to convince their self they’re justified in their actions. The husband is absolutely trash.

[@LA-dv4uu]

Sounds like jobless behaviour

[@tinawalker5335]

He could still love her. What’s really dumb is how women/wives want the side piece/mistress to walk away but they stay with the man.

[@nityaa1603]

An affair with a married man provides the security of never becoming really intimate with another person.

[@AffectionateSeaOtter]

There is no security in Self Deception.

[@riobrasilsambashowssambist1453]

Dr John is avoiding her core beliefs. He is only talking about the logistics of her and her position, the break up, etc, but he needs her to address her false inner beliefs that keep her in relationships like this. Because if she doesn't change her inner beliefs, this will be ongoing situations

[@stephmarie0686]

I just DO NOT feel sorry for women who knowingly do this. Nope! 🙅🏻‍♀️

[@berlizgonzalez6736]

Yup! Neither do I 🙅🏽‍♀️

[@snsn7251]

Not at all. It's one thing when you don't know and the married person is deceptive but once you know and continue you are trash.

[@GodSaveTheClothes]

Same!

[@Shay4YourMind81]

Exactly 💯 No sympathy here.

[@adspur]

They create their own misery.I’ve had two relationships end due to co workers at work mingling with my partner.People nowadays are disgusting animals with no decency

[@georgewagner7787]

How do I handle the loneliness? Girl, i spent the pandemic alone with cats. Go see a movie. Go to a book club. Find female friends and a new boyfriend.

[@donnellehall6093]

🤣🤣🤣 me too!

[@rosebush7000]

😂😂😂😂

[@junejunejuniejune]

😂 cats are the best companions!

[@jasonmedeiros9492]

Get a Rabbit

[@edenelston7668]

Preferably not a married one this time

[@proudmganda1159]

I dated a married man for 9 years, unfortunately he didn’t tell that he was married, he had a flat and a country home. I only come to know about his marriage on his death bed! I had met his father,mother before he went to hospital after a very bad accident! I was speechless seeing the beautiful lady beside his bed , unfortunately they had no children. It’s very sad when you’re lied to!!! His wife became my best friend until today, because both of us were fooled .

[@BeUr_Best]

Such a horrible story

[@Leguia.]

His parents lied for him too??

[@jessieholder513]

​@@Leguia.My exs parents lied for him.

[@muma6559]

@@jessieholder513 yeah, some families are all in the scam, they all play the game. And if there is a family member who refuses to play the scamming game, they get to be the scapegoat.

[@Grace-xv7nh]

You gave 9 years of your life to a con artist. I'm so sorry

[@jennbed1899]

She has an affair with a married man but goes back to him after aborting his child and he still in his marriage. Just shows that he hasn't got the balls to end both relationships. For her I have no sympathy.

[@riobrasilsambashowssambist1453]

Dr John is avoiding her core beliefs. He is only talking about the logistics of her and her position, the break up, etc, but he needs her to address her false inner beliefs that keep her in relationships like this. Because if she doesn't change her inner beliefs, this will be ongoing situations

[@ryanramirez2820]

“i have nothing against her i don’t want to ruin her life” “You have.” Love John’s directness

[@knightfox4121]

It’s crazy to me that she doesn’t comprehend how this has ruined his wife’s life. She got pregnant by him! How is that not a big deal?

[@stuff1784]

This woman must be a narcissist or psychopath of some sort bc GEEZ how could that not occur to her?!

[@tomwatson6560]

She was having a 10 year affair with that woman's husband on top of getting pregnant from him. Its pretty nuts that she doesn't understand what she did

[@nemy2009]

I felt that.

[@nemy2009]

Once you go down the path of immorality and deception and lies and scandal, you get more and more confused about everything. You can’t place logic on illogical behavior.

[@pepper1188]

My friend , who was married , had an affair with a single guy ...they dated for a few years after she was divorced , and he fell in love and married somebody else ,she was absolutely devastated ... and when she asked him about it he said , "I would never marry somebody who cheated on their husband " ironic

[@savleensur8670]

Well am I suppose to feel bad for her? She participating in this too.

[@pepper1188]

@@savleensur8670 Of course not, we all knew that he wouldn't marry his mistress, she thought he would...

[@dontehibbert]

😂😂😂

[@dannelle17]

But he’ll actively participate in ruining another marriage? Seems like his has a timer.

[@tonyajackson]

😮

[@jamielewellen9742]

I am a betrayed wife. And even though we are almost a year out from discovery, doing therapy, marriage counseling, and everything else... i can tell you, caller Katie, that hid affair, and specifically the actions and words of his mistress after discovery, definitely ruined my life. I will never be the same.

[@liba4089]

Run if you can!

[@KristiLEvans1]

Hers, too. The only one faring well is the dude.

[@wpatrickw2012]

Divorce the bastard. I would be happy to date you and treat you with respect. There are honorable men out there.

[@user-yw7tw7dn7n]

Same here 😢

[@charlottemosley885]

Yet you stayed with him. The other woman ruined your life not the man that took vows to you. B be ffr

[@cynthial841]

I went through a divorce from a cheater, and then went to work in a male dominated career. Over the first five years, I was hit on daily by married men looking for an affair. It was disgusting to watch. I never told any of these men my story, but it was grotesque. Sure turned me off to marriage.

[@victoriagolston7514]

Wow

[@snezdimi6695]

I was attractive woman and all my married colleagues were flirting with me even i behaved professionally. I have been married twice. Both cheated on me. I lost trust in men.

[@breannabaldridge6547]

Yep! Disgusting! But I still see good men that don’t.

[@lilyannlaurent9912]

Work is a jungle.

[@OShackHennessy]

Lots of people cheat it’s just the way the world is. I’m a doctor and never once have I put myself out there in a position to remotely come close to cheating on my wife despite being in a position of power. I couldn’t live with myself if I did and we’ve been together since high school. Many of my colleagues are the same so it’s not everyone but there are some subhumans I work with as well. I’m sure there were plenty of men who didn’t give you attention you just didn’t notice them.

[@manifest2203]

My mother once told me that married men who cheat always say things like “my wife is horrible and she treats me poorly”, “we are separated and getting a divorce but living together” or some other sob story. It is way more common than people think. Young women beware of these married men selling their sob stories.

[@videobrownsville]

Why are you blaming the man. She is a responsible participant.

[@abarairukia]

​@@videobrownsvillebecause technically, the man had a compromise and vows of loyalty to a wife. The girl was single. Yes, it takes two to tango, but the men who approach women with these lies are also very much responsible.

[@Kamingo170]

Actually going and seeing other women strengthens your bond with your main woman.

[@Mom_to_schnauzers]

And another thing…. As my grandmother (who divorced her husband in the late 1930’s because he had an affair) would tell/teach me, ‘if he does it to his wife he’ll do it to you. What makes you think you’re different? He has no regard for others or self respect.’ At his own admission he’s had numerous affairs and did care not enough about the caller to protect her from a pregnancy. Yes, I know birth control was on both of them however it was also her first intimacy and she was socially isolated from men because of fear most of her life prior to him and the affair. As my grandmother would would say about him…. ‘He’s lower than whale dung and you know that’s low….’

[@manifest2203]

@@videobrownsville well believe it or not, there are vile men who are s3xual predators who target young women and sometimes even young men. She is at fault too. But this is a case of a vile man who specifically targeted a gullible woman. It is clear she isn’t a promiscuous woman who is out to sleep around without any consequences. She even made this call to ask for help because she knows she is wrong.

[@sixthangel9716]

Women need to stop doing this to each other. If he has a wife, you're being used and his wife is being fooled. Just stop doing this to another woman and her children. The children need full attention from their dad. You need to find a single man. Period.

[@alluringbliss4165]

The problem is some women build their ego on taking someone’s husband or boyfriend. Vultures will always be around

[@bloomingale7868]

@@alluringbliss4165​​⁠please stop your nonsense - Married men prey on vulnerable, low self esteem women until they find one dumb enough to believe their lies. Single women should file harassment suits at work to put these predators on notice. Stop blaming women and make sure he’s not being a predator.

[@whosaidthat9265]

There are countless women who will defend her saying they didn’t take vows, he did. That’s the root of the issue. She has a slew of support from women just like her who will only find him accountable. It’s a very odd way of thinking. If you know someone is married, case closed. I would never want that karma on my back

[@lyndsae77]

Also, if he’ll cheat on his wife with you, he’ll definitely cheat on you with someone else. Men like that don’t value women and are only after their own gratification.

[@sucks2bthem]

@@whosaidthat9265 for real girl. Only women with her mindset defend this crap.

[@fimanu]

Ladies, never accommodate a man that's taken/"it's complicated". Not even a romantic moment, a date or a kiss with a man that is not 100% single, free, untethered. If he's getting a divorce, or they're separated, or they're on a break, or she's just a close friend that happens to be his ex, or she's horrible, or any other bullcrap, it's out of the question. 100% free and single is the precondition, no ifs or buts.

[@luminacosmosa2324]

Well said!

[@AKD155]

Yeah I've learned the hard way that guys who say " we are spearated" is bullahit. They always end up back with the wife or it turns out they are not

[@mangohaeppchen3447]

Ever since I was a teenager, I have found it insulting and gross to have a married/taken man hit on me. It’s an indictment on my (perceived) intelligence, integrity and self worth. If it makes you feel special, consider this - you’re “special” b/c you’re willing. He has as little respect for you as you do for yourself.

[@mysticjen379]

💯this!

[@AffectionateSeaOtter]

There is nothing special about being treated like a dirty secret or a side piece.

[@sweetstorm7652]

An affair is bad but sleeping with a married man without protection is so disrespectful to yourself and his wife.

[@kind2423]

Like, how? He’s most likely sleeping with the wife too. I don’t know why some women think they are the exception

[@jleigh2570]

Maybe I missed it, but I never heard “without protection.” Condoms do fail.

[@littlelam3691]

@@kind2423that is why it’s such a problem. Could spread something to the wife. The wife didn’t agree to have intercourse with the woman.

[@theseeker4700]

​@@kind2423hu? Disease and pregnancy...

[@rebeccaoprea9917]

That’s on him.

[@mimimonster]

For women in case they’re wondering: Women SHOULD have their emotional guard up against married men ALWAYS. In case anyone is in a similar situation.

[@brianburnside5949]

Yeah, but you can tell, she didn't care. There are a lot of women out there who are attracted to married men.

[@ShalomDove]

@@brianburnside5949 and there are a lot of married people who feel attracted to other people who aren’t their spouse. It’s on the individuals to be adults and put something else above their feelings.

[@bloomingale7868]

@@brianburnside5949please stop your nonsense - the only people attracted to married men are other married people. Married men prey on vulnerable, low self esteem women until they find one dumb enough to believe their lies.

[@kiki11974]

She had zero experience with men before this dude. That’s why he was able to charm the pants off of her - literally

[@ShalomDove]

@@kiki11974 I am sure he was a manipulator and took advantage of her lack of experience. But, respectfully, even those without experience know that married means hands off. I can say that without malice, because I am also an adult without dating experience.

[@stephanie3087]

Appreciate his honesty. “I don’t want to ruin her life” You have “I don’t want to disappoint her” You have. I hope she sees the reality of her actions.

[@sam170tab]

I was a wife that found out my husband was having an affair with a much younger woman. I immediately told him to move out. He was excited and happy to move out. The kids and I felt sadness and uncertainty, but peaceful. My mom mentioned a support group run by a psychologist. I attended a meeting and had emotional support. My inlaws provided a loan for me to go to a divorce lawyer to ensure that they would have access to the grandkids. Our lives became calmer. While we had to move out of the house, the kids remained in their schools and continued relationships with their friends. When my ex married the younger woman, she burned down the house my children grew up in. My point in this post is....the younger woman did not ruin my life nor my children. There was a new healthier life for myself and our kids.

[@mrs.t333]

This.

[@brandygee9954]

I'm so happy for you! Question though- Did she burn it down cooking or did she torch it? 😮

[@chuly4541]

We all Want to be loved and feel safe. I'm glad you and your kids found that. Good for you for choosing the best life for you and your kids. Psa. Leave those messy people behind. One heart break after leaving is easy compared to the countless ones you'll have by staying with them.

[@Aprilhojazz]

I would say she ruined your old life but your strength and bravery carried you out of the rut and gave you a new life. You're great!

[@sam170tab]

She set a fire in the bedroom.

[@yogaqueen1527]

Shame on her for being ok with sleeping with a married man. Shame on him for cheating. Both are losers

[@manifest2203]

He seems like a master manipulator. My mother once told me that married men who cheat always say things like “my wife is horrible and she treats me poorly”, “we are separated and getting a divorce but living together” or some other sob story. It is way more common than people think. Young women beware of these married men selling their sob stories. This man especially seems very vile. For pressuring her to go raw and then abortion. He is the lowest of the low.

[@TheDoggmom]

Yep, a creep. Serial cheater. Takes caller’s virginity. Doesn’t take responsibility for birth control. Leaves her alone to deal with abortion. He must be mighty handsome and charming, superficially.

[@rz8753]

@@TheDoggmomshe allowed this behavior from him

[@2okaycola]

She is absolute trash

[@2okaycola]

@@manifest2203she gave her virginity to a married cheater. For shame

[@supergirlll]

I just feel so sorry for THE WIFE.

[@Cwgrlup]

I don’t. There’s always two sides to the story. She didn’t work in her marriage hard enough.

[@Kwildcat13]

@@Cwgrlupreally .. he is the cheater and there is not a single reason for it .. Divorce her and then have a relationship .. 2 sides or not .. no one deserves to be cheated on

[@Kwildcat13]

@@Cwgrlupcheating is about the person cheating. People cheat because that’s who they are horrible Broken losers , no excuse for it

[@Latinodances2090]

@@Cwgrlup You dont know that 😵 shame on you for concluding without verifying

[@lil_thiccpeach9067]

@@Cwgrlupalways blaming the woman even tho the MAN CHEATED. End of story.

[@tonyarmoore894]

All actions have consequences, good or bad. This is a self-inflicted wound. In life, baby, we all have to face the consequences of our actions. No empathy or sympathy here. You gotta deal with it. Like the rest of us mere mortals. Leave this man for good and live your life.

[@loismoulton2417]

WAKE UP!! Some spouses commit suicide! STOP thinking I-I-I-I-I....

[@brooke9847]

She doesn't sound like she feels guilty for having an affair at all and only has thought about how it affects her. I couldn't imagine doing that to someone.

[@dabd8175]

It's female nature to never take accountability and responsibility for anything

[@corasbloom]

Facts. And unfortunately for her, you reap what you sow. And she has been sowing YEARS of so much deceit, aiding in adultery, etc.

[@mikenelson8377]

The married man isn’t any better so keep that in mind 🤷🏼‍♂️ Edit: I’m not defending either but both are deeply damaged.

[@Abby0324-]

@@mikenelson8377 Totally agree, but hes talking for the girls side, 😢

[@Kat-ip5ex]

Sounds like you have a conscience!

[@BadddDoggg-id4po]

My dad had an affair for 8 years before he left my Mom. That was 43 years go, my dad has since passed away. My mom still can't get over it and goes to counseling every week because of it. Every time I call my Mom she talks about it. Totally wiped her out for life.

[@jayb3473]

Wow I needed to hear this. I’m at 4 years. Stopping this right now.

[@meandepiphany]

​@@kjmay66Have you ever been married? You become one...of course it ruins you when you're betrayed.

[@kjmay66]

​@@meandepiphanyYes. I was married for 23 years. Have three adult children.

[@rosebush7000]

43 years ago and the man is now DEAD and she cannot get over it? The affair is not the problem darling…sorry.

[@kjmay66]

@@izealliaeldridge1901 What do you mean? I don't follow celebrities.

[@cheribee968]

My ex husband abandoned me and three small children after 13 years of marriage For a side piece he cheated with I was blindsided It was incredibly hard raising children alone

[@pauldirc..]

You should also get remarried

[@scott4825]

@@pauldirc.. Nope, she should wait until the right person comes along, and if they don't, she should stay single. Also, it can be harder for women with 3 children to both date and meet a good guy.

[@liba4089]

Yes, it is very hard. Just happened to me with teenage kids.We have to deal with the betrayal and also with the grief of our kids. It is hard but we are getting stronger because of it. And we are the better human beings.

[@OShackHennessy]

Were you a good wife? Wondering why he felt the need to leave.

[@LaverneGrant-ff8ub]

@@scott4825 you are so right.

[@amberdavis5898]

I pray she chooses herself and self respect and learns the lesson of what happens when you mess with a married man, and destroy his family. And know how to stop a predator next time

[@erinmorrow5001]

He should have told her to ask his wife how she handles the loneliness, the grief, the despair, the betrayal.

[@bacaworld7095]

Yup exactly!!

[@navehhall73]

EXACTLY! Amazing comment 🎉

[@alexisjankowski3281]

Boom!!

[@Hyena96]

Well said!

[@BlueDauntless]

But the wife is outside her bubble so she didn’t give her much thought.

[@show_me_your_kitties]

This woman plays victim, but if you listen to her responses, she tells on herself. She starts 'crying' saying she was so guilty at the thought she ruined his wifes life, but, as soon as John told her she did ruin a life, she tried to justify it by saying he has cheated before her. Then, John called her on that too and she didn’t say sh*t. False empathy. She's a manipulator. John nailed this conversation.

[@cellis5111]

yes caller is a deluded narcissist she wasnt complaining so much oh was she when she was getting plowed

[@ineedhoez]

She didn't ruin the wife's life. The husband did.

[@aprilchow-chee5281]

​@ineedhoez and she helped him willingly, knowingly so stop trying to manipulate and gaslight as it isn't what it is

[@2okaycola]

@@ineedhoezya she did. Close your legs

[@stewart2898]

@@2okaycolaI say spread em

[@muimui9840]

Dr John kept so calm and composed , I would be totally furious if i were to talk to someone with no integrity, core values and obviously selfish .

[@ronbo30]

Guilt from sleeping with a married man, and guilt from murdering a innocent child. Very heavy burden .

[@wendybryan6071]

Abortion isn't murder. It's an embryo or fetus, not a baby. It's a baby when it's born.

[@ronbo30]

@@wendybryan6071 so it’s not a baby 1 hour before it’s born? You can call it whatever you want. But the baby doesn’t change identity from a fetus to a baby. Unless parents want to call their child my fetus . Imagine parents bringing home their fetus and having a fetus shower, fetus first birthday! Fetus going to school 🤣🤣🤣🤣. Your just looking to justify murder. Look a a 4-d not 3-d but 4-d picture of a child in the womb at 5 months old.and think that’s a fetus? Your ignorant.

[@ronbo30]

@@wendybryan6071 a woman who is 5 months pregnant my question is IS THERE LIFE IN HER WOMB? Never mind baby or fetus, is there life?

[@aeriebae88]

6 years is a long time. I feel conflicted. When she said he took her virginity, I was like, "oh..." Then she said, "No one has ever told me they loved me." OHHHH! No wonder why she's been seeing him for 6 years. You can clearly tell she doesn't have the best self-esteem and confidence. All he had to do was give her some attention, pleasure her and tell her he loves her. What a terrible guy. This woman gonna need a lot of therapy. She's going to feel deep regret and sorrow for the abortion and affair. That's going to be the punishment for what she's done. You can't just don't easily forget about stuff like this. It lasts until the day you die. Regret never goes away.

[@Ildy04]

Yeah. He has been so using her. My heart goes out to her.

[@johniii8147]

I agree with that, but it takes two. Definitely a lack of maturity here emotionally to even get involved. Only she can solve that. Expect a lot of this goes back to her life before. She never grew up emotionally it sounds like.

[@rz8753]

Yeah , he saw a dumb naive woman and went for it and she fell for it … I don’t feel bad for her , consequences to your actions, oh no one loved me etc .. ok but he was married and you knew so …

[@selindavis7389]

Exactly 👏

[@aubreystrong2780]

Regret goes away when one accepts Christ into their heart and the past is dead. The present and eternal life in heaven are what our focus should be on, because everything else is a distraction and Satan trying to keep people in the pits of their self-made due to poor choices, despair. Christ heals and transforms. No doubt.

[@alluringbliss4165]

It’s really bad when your first love to whom you lost your virginity was an affair.

[@chuckokoye2410]

And got pregnant by, what a mess she made here

[@manifest2203]

My mother once told me that married men who cheat always say things like “my wife is horrible and she treats me poorly”, “we are separated and getting a divorce but living together” or some other sob story. It is way more common than people think. Young women beware of these married men selling their sob stories.

[@hannah7310]

It's like the worst memory, it was a bad decision after a bad decision, oh well

[@ineedhoez]

Hell yeah...

[@ineedhoez]

​@joanarc7963stop that mess.

[@christinaschultz4624]

Katie - please seek out a long term therapist. You have so much to unpack, hurt to heal and walls to bring down in a healthy way. Please find a supportive, long term therapist to help you with all of this. You deserve to heal 😊

[@BloomingAuraOfficial]

Thank you for saying this to Katie and everyone who has been in her situation ❤

[@maryellenball1654]

Thank you! That is what I wanted to say to her.

[@eliser9776]

It's very easy for a man in this situation to say he loves you. If he loved you, he would not put you in this situation. If he says he loves you, then you stay hooked and he gets to have a side piece. Don't fall for the magic word "love." This is not real love. You are under the spell of a word.

[@leamcdonald2085]

If he loved his wife then Why would he cheat smh people are soo judgemental on this woman

[@TheBooRad97]

Imagine wasting six years of your life being some dude's side chick...

[@Confessions089]

Or a side dude to a married woman.

[@franziskani]

And before that she knew him for 4 years. She must be in her thirties. Lost her best years over this guy. (I assume she lacked love as a child, so she was an easy prey. Another explanation is limerence, unfortunately that is not wideley knows, only now one hears more about it. Being madly in love (and a love always with obstacles. Which increases the yearning - she mentions that not seeing him at work, makes things worse. And intense blind obsessive love - almost an addiction. Limerence does not survive contact with realitiy. So If a couple is "madly" in love and there are no obstacles they can get together. The intense love will fade and either they replace it with sth more mature - or they will grow apart. But nothing fires up "mad" love like an obstacle (or the other person does not want to be in a relationship and the person with the mad crush nurtures fantasies for years, sometimes more than 10). The reward center of the brain that is also very engaged during an addiction is the reason for that. Infrequent but intense rewards & unpredictability / insercurity about the situation make that crazy love even more intense. because they engage that part of the brain. People with a traumatic childhood are more vulnerable to this, but it can also happen to people with a good family - their brain is just more prone to have a person addiction. A person that knows about limerence and their tendency to have limerent episodes can set up boundaries before they fall for real for a person they cannot be with.

[@bobbylacy2374]

And, having an abortion for HIM, against your own beliefs? No self-respect and he's doing nothing but using her.

[@lighty805]

Happens all the time that's why a 304 is always a 304.

[@patricias6227]

And then wanting to be a wife and mother...

[@angelagrace6674]

I so appreciate John’s ability to hold callers accountable and yet grant them so much compassion and empathy as he does it.

[@h_x_h]

I knew of him when he was around ACU and some family friends know him. It bothered some people that he always talked to people like friends, but his personality combined with his education is on full display in a big way in these calls. I've watched and listened to caller after caller call in in some crazy situations and his navigation and response to each one is incredible.

[@fishplug10]

Best comment ever. That is what being a beliver is about.

[@400nm2]

I sometimes wondered if I should have gone into psychology, and watching this man approach this human pondscum with so much grace and empathy makes me realize I am truly better off being a dentist.

[@sarai637]

it’s truly the perfect mix

[@thesinfulyogini2073]

That’s why licensed professionals are always so necessary!

[@robnoe83]

I’ll be two years sober from alcohol in a couple of months. That was one of the best explanations of addiction I’ve heard in a very long time. That is spot on! I’ve got chills from that.

[@carleyanneart8068]

I think the tough part about being human is that every single choice we make holds some type of consequence. Getting married, not getting married, seeing married people, not seeing them etc. Nothing is perfect and you can't have it both ways.

[@amandadaisies]

Are we supposed to feel bad for her?? She’s just as scummy as he is. She KNEW he was married and still justified being with him.

[@David-wo9un]

Exactly; what he did was wrong but he didn’t hide the fact he was married and she went along with it anyway. What did she expect for an outcome? Did she consider the possible loneliness of his wife before wallowing in her loneliness now that she finally figured out the relationship is doomed?

[@JKNat9004]

​@@David-wo9unExactly,!!!!

[@gabrielamartiniuc6322]

Exactly!! She’s not very smart. He knew what to say to get laid 😂 and she fell for it. It’s pretty pathetic!!

[@gabrielamartiniuc6322]

@@David-wo9unexactly

[@ChristopherKaiJensen]

My only sympathy lies with her having had no real relationship before this and finally getting the attention she’d never had. He is likely incredibly manipulative as well. I look at her more as a fool than a bad person. She isn’t stupid though and knew she should end this but she was too bought in emotionally

[@dawnbishop1261]

This woman needs a moral Compass.

[@snsn7251]

This 😂😂😂

[@Nah-ah]

So does the guy breaking his wedding vows! 😆

[@RDCFemmes]

As much as the cheating husband

[@rosamaundallen1035]

This lady is wrong on sooo many levels. 1. Having sex out of marriage 2. Having sex and a relationship with a married man (committing adultery) and 3. Had an abortion She is disgusting and she is going to reap what she sowed.

[@azteca6695]

​@@Nah-ahand apparently more than once 😂

[@NissySlim]

It's the worst and deepest form of betrayal.

[@jodisny00]

If he was “looking” the marriage was probably already wrecked

[@abby4027]

100000%

[@carolgiangreco6548]

Then do the right thing and tell your wife how you feel. Don't be a liar and a cheat and blame her!

[@LaverneGrant-ff8ub]

The point is he was a cheater and always cheated. He wrecked the marriage. He will reap what he sowed. Remember that guy. He may end up an invalid, blind, in a wheelchair, private parts he cheated with useless. Know of men this happened too. Yep you reap what you sow. It may come later but it will be so much worst than what was sown. You don’t play with God’s law whether you believe in Him or not.

[@sgo1oneill]

I have no sympathy for people who knowingly have an affair with a married person or one in a committed relationship. They deserve all the difficulties in their life.

[@mikenelson8377]

Two wrongs don’t make a right. Both don’t have any ethics. This is why marriage can honestly be a joke 🤷🏼‍♂️🤦🏼‍♂️

[@sfappetrupavelandrei]

Exactly. A couple of years ago it happened more than once when women who were already in a relationship were interested into me. I was never interested in becoming involved with these women. I always felt that karma is real. Well, maybe it wasn't that real because 15 years later I'm still alone. 😅😅😅 But I would still not get involved with a woman who is in a relationship.

[@mikenelson8377]

@@sfappetrupavelandrei marriage doesn’t mean the spouse won’t cheat. It’s literally a piece of paper with some legal jargon on it. Is it supposed to be way more than that? OF COURSE! But if marriage is truly a forever thing, then why is divorce an option and why do people cheat? 🤦🏼‍♂️

[@montymython754]

AMEN

[@broforcefreedom4936]

I did when I was a mentally ill 22 year old and he was 52. Regret it obviously.

[@JenHendon]

As someone who's been cheated on .. Dr thank you for your boldness in telling this woman she's wrong and encouraging accountability.

[@davidsollers4435]

My wife cheated on me with a married man and I completely agree

[@MoonMoon-fx1op]

​@@davidsollers4435dang man I'm sorry to hear that

[@user-tj4ks3uh6f]

Well was your partner wrong or just the other party?

[@jamila321]

"took her virginity", "she was pregnant", "coerced her into an abortion", " she had never dated before" This was a young woman who got preyed upon by a predator. If you married that kind of shithole you are the problem far more than a young girl he is going out to use. Ask yourself why you found a man like this attractive 🤞👈just to encourage your accountability

[@Nanubaby3385]

Yes coz apparently most of the other women in these threads seem to lack it & seem to think all women are innocent ninnies tricked into bed with a married man oh please some women are barracudas who trash other ppl’s marriages for sport (female btw)

[@julieherrmann5994]

Here’s what helped me move on from from painful relationships. I said to myself, “I must accept the fact that he doesn’t feel the same way about me, that I feel about him & that hurts so bad. But with time that pain will diminish & I will be okay.” I repeated that to myself like a mantra, over & over. I would also ask myself, what lessons did I learn from this? This helped me move on from a 30 year marriage that had gotten to the point of total silence & disconnect,to be able to have a life of happiness without repeating the mistakes of my past. Best of luck to you.

[@user-mv2nf5ez4e]

It was amazing the way John responded, the absolute truth ....

[@ellamedic8963]

This woman is heavily, heavily co-dependent! She needs to learn how to love herself. If you love yourself, you would have never allowed a man like this to be part of your life. Regardless of your feelings for him, he adds nothing good to your life. You deserve so much more.

[@silverlining6259]

Respect herself,not love herself. Self Respect is what we need. The wife needs to have it as well,when my ex husband had affairs I divorced and stayed away from him .

[@ellamedic8963]

@@silverlining6259 well you can’t respect yourself until you love yourself first.

[@im26c4u5]

​@@ellamedic8963Since I had a troubled childhood its hard to say and believe I truly love myself, but i have a ton of self respect so I disagree.

[@copywritersblock]

Thank you for understanding and having compassion for this woman. She is not a horrible monster. She does not have enough love or respect for herself. This is why. I have been her my whole life and only just recently managed to break free and choose ME. This is her journey and she has to live with her choices and what she's done. But she can also learn from this journey and start to choose differently.

[@marqann]

Totally agree, I like you're more compassionate and nuanced about it..

[@thenorthface4]

I just finished signing divorce papers from my husband who had MULTIPLE affairs behind my back. He had zero remorse. The side piece that’s now his primary piece thinks she won some kind of prize. It absolutely disgusts me that married people do this… cheat, have affairs and feel zero remorse. It absolutely destroyed me finding out, it destroyed how I look at men. Affairs ruin people, marriages and their home. No affair is ever worth it…

[@EadsB7002]

but kudos to you for leaving someone who clearly does not value your marriage and is okay with disrespecting you/your commitment. i hate seeing women stay with men like this (multiple offenders), as 90% of the time they do not change. they keep offending because they have an addiction and they also believe they can get away with it.

[@Nanubaby3385]

The sad truth is you seem to be in the minority with this thinking as most of these ppl in the comment section are delulu when it comes to this trollop’s responsibility

[@WakeupAmerica777]

Same here. God bless you and may He continue to heal us.

[@RG-hf4et]

This ex-hubby will be cheating on his current side dish at some point. It is just a matter of time. It's not "if", it's "when".

[@saturdayschild8535]

Signed divorce papers last year. She certainly thinks she won a prize, but I’m grateful she took the lying, gaslighting, sack of poo off my hands. She gets to find out she is being cheated on and is a beard. I didn’t find out (put the puzzle pieces together) that he prefers men but not wanting to be out until I filed for divorce. Some prize she has.

[@bookmarker7471]

She has soul ties with him. She'll never leave, he'll always be in her system.😢 Leave or not

[@friedarobertson1240]

Doc, I'm so proud of you. My faith in psychologists has been given hope. Thanks for sharing.

[@RMcC104]

I love how she makes herself out to be a victim. She’s not a victim. She’s a homewrecker. She knew exactly what choices she was making and what actions she was taking. Yes, the husband is wrong, but take accountability for your part. She chooses to be the sidepiece, which speaks volumes about her standards, morals, and character.

[@BlueDauntless]

I don’t think she can heal and move on until she owns her part in this, to be honest. You can’t move past a mistake until you own it.

[@joyparsons9985]

💯 👏👏👏👏

[@taridean]

​@@BlueDauntless Good luck to her next guy because he's going to bear the brunt of the baggage she'll be bringing if she doesn't take accountability of her part in this mess.

[@matinaki1644]

She is a homewrecker but he is just wrong... Wow. He is the prime homewrecker and she assists him as any other woman could do since he has his door wide open for mischief.

[@Galaxy-ho2pk]

Well said , agree 💯 homewrecker she is

[@wisco_hdgirl5273]

I discovered my husband had an 8 year affair......she didn't know me either. My life and home were destroyed. I have no sympathy for these kinds of people. She told me she only felt bad for doing it while I was battling breast cancer. I will never be the same person as I was before

[@breevestal]

Oh man, I’m so sorry you had to deal with those immoral people.

[@Nanubaby3385]

Sorry but don’t worry they’ll have to answer for it God bless you

[@Jaycarbrownie12]

What type of man cheats on his wife while she battle breast cancer

[@wyleecoyotee4252]

It's YOUR HUSBAND who allowed it to happen or pursued it. He is the only one to blame.

[@PKr_0]

I pray peace finds you. That’s so much :(

[@elainegaskins8041]

If he does it with you, he’ll do it to you!

[@nowandthennn]

Thank you for sharing . I know it helped someone watching to get through a tough time of loss . ❤❤❤

[@alixthompson2836]

Katie is NOT a girl’s girl. And I love how direct he is with her

[@brianburnside5949]

"Wo is me. I am a homewrecker and I am sad. Please make me not sad." Of course, I put more blame on the idiot married man, but still.

[@KendraSmith087]

Right! How someone can feel bad for themselves after having an affair with a married man is beyond me.

[@mrlnxf8455]

Do you not realise that the term "homewrecker" is putting the blame on the wrong person? At least most of the blame?

[@gmarie3053]

I usually blame the married one more but after hearing this person, I feel both affair partners are equally as bad.

[@odibua9107]

You shouldn't change that here. He clearly went after her and did it over time. He also could have wrapped it up.

[@youtubefans510]

I agree with putting more blame on the married man , answer of another youtube person not me : It may happen to you. Good People do stupid selfish things all the time.

[@KatheringPS.103]

Thank Dr. John for being honest with Katie and giving her hope beyond her mistakes.Thank you for showing Katie it's not too late to heal and she can make better choices that honor the Woman she is.❤

[@LaverneGrant-ff8ub]

What woman is that? She is still seeing the guy.

[@tylerdinnan4706]

Perfect example of conflict avoided being conflict compounded. Putting off hard things makes them harder

[@annaelisavettavonnedozza9607]

As soon as Dr. D said “you have” & she said “well…he’s had other affairs before,” instead of saying “I know.” She’s not remorseful, she’s a selfish w

[@Nan-Elle]

She mentioned that they no longer work at the same place. I'm thinking while she's wringing her hands over this split that is coming...he's already dating someone at the place where he works now.

[@BlueDauntless]

Maybe she’ll get there. But you’re right. It went to immediate justification and self defense.

[@jasmineosinski521]

She never even mentioned feeling bad for the wife until you brought it up first.

[@icooktheyeat5272]

Any man who gets into a relationship with a woman like this needs to run and run fast. She chose a married man over her own baby 🫠😭 disgusting world we live in.

[@user-xk9wr9xn7g]

“Keep in a box” and the call in to a radio show…show NO quarter. My folks would say “you made your bed…now lay in it”

[@noushs8004]

She chose feelings over her own integrity, I don’t feel bad for her.

[@littlelam3691]

She doesn’t have any integrity

[@xhaltsalute]

Sometimes easier said than done.

[@mariee.5912]

​@xhaltsalute it's like Nike, but backwards just don't do it.

[@johniii8147]

Bad choices no doubt, but I don't tend to judge people so harshly and not have some empathy. There is a whole other part of this story we don't know about with stunted her emotional growth. Expect she has a seriously problematic growing up in her dysfunctional family.

[@mariee.5912]

@@johniii8147 agree. However, 10 years is a long time.

[@sephinew3333]

Just because the wife doesn't know yet doesn't mean you haven't caused her unbearable and hard to heal pain. The feeling of loneliness you'll feel leaving him is nothing on the pain that woman will have to try recover from.

[@Ace7of7Cups]

Yep. There's a difference between being a long serious relationship with someone that you were under the impression you guys both cared for each other then you find out they lied and rubbed genitals with another. You feel a loneliness that's hard to just be because no matter what, staying or going you're going to find it hard to believe someone is there with you. The loneliness she feels, she can always find someone and not have to feel that way

[@roses6564]

@@Ace7of7Cups No, that's just desire to control that the individual you're with will never "rub genitals" with anyone other than you. That's not love - it's glorified selfishness and control legitimized by bureaucratic institutions like government and religion. If he/she has the desire to rub genitals with someone other than you, that person is no longer exclusively yours in spirit well before he got to "cheat." What you are alluding to is control, not love.

[@XPrincess30]

They said she does know just doesn’t want to say anything.

[@nyleah411]

That unborn child😢 the only person who’s innocent got a death sentence.

[@gwene.9912]

I will never understand how a women can hurt another women in this way.

[@nothandomyeni1359]

So this whole phone call is about her. She doesn't sound like she has any remorse for being the other woman. She gave her virginity, her valuable time, fertile years to a "scum of the earth" type of man. She killed her child over this. She actively participated in the process of hurting another woman. She knew this man for 4 years before having a sexual relationship with him. She didn't stumble into this blindly but actively chose this. You are no victim lady. Own up to your actions, take responsibility for your part in this. We need to stop treating women like helpless, brainless beings that can't make decisions and need their hand to be held throughout all life decisions. Once you are an adult, you own your mess. Sin has consequences, and you will reap what you sow

[@manifest2203]

My mother once told me that married men who cheat always say things like “my wife is horrible and she treats me poorly”, “we are separated and getting a divorce but living together” or some other sob story. It is way more common than people think. Young women beware of these married men selling their sob stories.

[@knightfox4121]

@@manifest2203They may sound like sob stories but they are often times very true.

[@Evil-Rod-Farva]

@@manifest2203that’s because it’s typically true. It is quite rare for a happily married and content man to seek the company of another woman. You do have some dogs, but that’s not the norm. Most men are happy with pizza, even if it’s cold. Your marriage has to be absolutely vile for you to want to risk half your assets and your children just to get the affection of another woman.

[@14elvira14]

Yeah she went out of her way for this affair to happen🙃

[@berlizgonzalez6736]

Yaaasss 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽

[@dolphinbear661]

She gave away her whole future for lies. Dang. Hes a creep, she has no morals and no self-respect. A terrible arrangement.

[@GUITARTIME2024]

Chads get all the perks.

[@Alvin-xs7db]

​@@GUITARTIME2024Chads don't cheat on their wives even though they could

[@GUITARTIME2024]

@Alvin-xs7db sure they do, but many don't. Thats not part of Chad description.

[@lv2756]

@@GUITARTIME2024sounds like a normal married man to me

[@manifest2203]

My mother once told me that married men who cheat always say things like “my wife is horrible and she treats me poorly”, “we are separated and getting a divorce but living together” or some other sob story. It is way more common than people think. Young women beware of these married men selling their sob stories.

[@pennyblackpesic6949]

He groomed her. He targeted her and used her inexperience and played on her emotions to get what he wanted. She lost her first child and 10 years of her life to this predator. She fell for his manipulation and it's ruined her life. She'll leave her job, have to start over, and he will replace her with another affair partner. She was young and vunerable and the price she will pay for falling for his manipulations is to be labeled and ostracized and rejected by others in the future unless she can move away, start over, and try to find someone that would overlook her past, which may mean being single or living in fear of the secret coming out in the future. Everyone can say she was a bad person for being with a married man, but that man is pure evil for targeting her and using her for over a decade. His life will go on, but hers is pretty much over before it even started.

[@bklyyynn]

At what point do we stop using the “she was young and had NO IDEA THAT SLEEPING WITH A MARRIED MAN WAS WRONG”? She was an adult and knew FULL well it was wrong.

[@eg4417]

​@@bklyyynnThis! She's an adult and made the conscious decision to sleep with a married man unprotected. She deserves what she gets. Actions have consequences and young adults are well aware of this

[@bridgetcurry9578]

He isn't a predator. He's a fisherman. He tosses out a line . The fish either bites or it doesn't. If he doesn't get a bite, he moves on and tosses another line. She bit. She wasn't 15. She was an adult. She knew it was wrong. She wasn't groomed. She was seduced by a married man. She is not a victim. She made really poor choices over and over again, especially knowing he cheated before her. He is human sludge. He will move on to another willing body if he hasn't already, as it is what human sludge does. There is no excuse for either of them.

[@claireworld_]

yes???

[@a.jpurple6515]

You’re/were a cheater, weren’t you?. She was an adult. Young but with a brain. She has a job meaning she is a functioning person with responsibilities. An adult takes accountability. She KNEW as a young adult person what she was doing and the solution - therapy. She was not manipulated because they were hiding it from the very beginning. And she said it herself - “I started dating later in life”. I personally would be disgusted having a friend like this.

[@elizabethryan2217]

Wow. The point you make at 6 mins in: *Excellent!!!* 👏👏👏👏👏👏

[@lifeaccordingtotheo9643]

When she said "he has had other affairs", as if that somehow makes it better. It does not. It makes it worse. For the caller. Because he was absolutely hooking up with others at the same time as her. She is lucky to not have an STD. She is clinically codependent. "I had an abortion because I knew he would want me to. I already knew he would want me to." She has no self worth. Off to therapy for a long time.

[@LaverneGrant-ff8ub]

SecretLy she thought he would leave his wife

[@awakenedmortals8391]

I met a girl in class at my college, asked her on a date, she agreed, it went aight, I’m driving her home and she receives a phone call, answers it quietly and tells someone in hushed tones “I’ll be home soon I’ll call you back….” I’m like oh I’m sorry I know it’s late was that your grandparents and she’s like no it’s my boyfriend…..lol I was like uh why’d you agree to go on a date with me and she says we’ll he’s awful and I’ve tried to break up with him several times but he refuses to break up with me….. I dropped her off without saying a word and never asked her out again…… Ofc with life circumstance I ended up having 2 more classes with her later on and she came to sit next to me and proceeded to tell me stories about her boyfriend and stuff they did together…… I’m telling you guys people are just telling you bullshit sob stories because they are justifying bullshit mentalities….. don’t buy it! If they are in a relationship, LEAVE! I don’t care if that guys an asshole I’m not doing it to him and I’m not sharing a partner with nobody! Have some self respect lol

[@girlygirl1890]

@awakened Love your comment. You, my friend, have integrity. Good on you for that.

[@lademoiselleketoret6958]

“Bullshit mentalities” you are correct, Sir! 👌🏾❤

[@SweetEssie]

Wait so was that a lie about her boyfriend before? He wasn't awful and she just was flattered and wanted you to take her out on a date?

[@SweetEssie]

Glad you left. If it progressed and her boyfriend found out you two were dating, we never know what he would've done.

[@genxx2724]

Her sitting next to you in classes and having so much intensity in conversation with you, could very well have prevented you from meeting someone else at school: the most suitable place to find an appropriate mate.

[@nicolecastrogiovanni385]

If I ever find out my husband is cheating on me, I will no longer trust anyone ever again. Out of all the people I have been with, he is the best, kindest, most polite and perfect man I have ever met and if he decides that hurting me is worth it, than I’m just done dating forever.

[@sylviamapande1224]

This is a first time seeing a sensible person,this Dr is a full package, honest,good morals, Good fearing.The world needs more of you please keep doing this please 🙏🙏🙏 may God keep you safe

[@kt-xz6xw]

I was married 20 years and my husband ended up leaving me for a woman he had a 3 year affair with. We have been separated 3 years now and i have moved on and even had a baby with another man. We still remain friends but he calls me all the time and says wants to leave her for me all the time. I used to think she was so terrible until the other day when he was complaining about her to me and i asked him if he ever thinks it was him who caused a problem in their relationship and he said it was all her fault. I realized then how lucky I was to not be in that relationship and how she is the one being abused and gaslighted. That is the first time I felt really sorry for her.

[@j.stevens4758]

Damn thats crazyyyy

[@dawnstonerock4253]

I think that is true healing ❤

[@buckethyacinth9598]

sounds like he's a narcissist. Even to the point of still calling you - it may just be you provide narcissistic 'supply' to him. If he really thought you were that great and worth being with, he'd have never cheated in the first place and once divorced, would not keep coming back for attention.

[@lornam4596]

This. You lose men how you find them.

[@nevillepitout1374]

You should not be talking to him. You have moved on.

[@joaninga3904]

Another person who had an affair with someone they knew was married~yet are upset when it doesn't turn out well. Geez, who saw THAT coming?

[@bnb0510]

It’s always the co-worker! If your spouse refers to someone as a work wife/husband, believe them! Of your husband is a doctor and your wife is a nurse- keep your head on a swivel! Lol

[@LittleMsChachi]

I will not participate in the hurt and destruction of another woman for a man. Especially if I love that man. Loving someone truly means wanting the best for them even when that happiness does not include you.

[@21truthbetold]

Exactly!

[@P.Rack25]

She's a homewrecker and she's trying to justify her actions. They deserve each other. She knew he was married from day one. She is, in no way, a victim of this. She brought this on.

[@danilaroche1156]

We all err.

[@ocean3638]

Well, He's a homewrecker as well.

[@user-tj4ks3uh6f]

You damn dummy, he’s a homewrecker first so why won’t your dumb ass call him one? You damn dummy, she didn’t force him, he wanted that, your partner can get away with anything because your dumb ass will only blame the other person.

[@camellia8625]

He is the one who made the vow, not her.

[@vimanaarchitects2151]

Why you all the society again blaiming WOMAN? YOU ALWAYS WOMAN BUT NEVER A MAN. THIS GIRL WASN'T MARRIED BUT HE WAS.

[@Melissa-jp8ps]

She destroyed another woman's life knowingly and on purpose, and she is only concerned about herself. She knowingly and on purpose entered a sexual relationship with a man who had zero integrity or morals. I have zero sympathy for her. She still tries to side step accountability for her own actions by stating" he's had other affairs before me"

[@mrlnxf8455]

How did SHE destroy her life? How was that not her husbands responsibility??

[@ineedhoez]

First of all.... the husband destroyed his wife's life. Secondly, this was not his first affair. If the wife left him after the first affair, this wouldn't even be a conversation. Her marriage ended the 1st time he stepped out. 1st time you are victim, 2nd time you are a volunteer.

[@johniii8147]

She obviously made a HUGE mistake. But I do have some empathy. She wasn't emotionally equipped to handle the situation. Sounds like it started for her basically a high school crush and had no relationship experience. No doubt she's created a mess for herself but from what she said early on I kinda see how she could be vulnerable to that.

[@Melissa-jp8ps]

@@propainaccessories Thank you. Somebody gets it

[@Melissa-jp8ps]

@@mrlnxf8455 I never said he was not responsible for his actions. He is a disgrace and deserves every consequence for his behavior. However that's no excuse to let her off the hook by pretending Katie is some kind of innocent victim in this. She knew exactly what she was doing while she was doing it and she didn't care. Now she is faced with being held accountable and she doesn't like it.

[@virginiagomez8882]

Thank you for this type of podcast. It is extremely realistic to the fact that it's highly addictive unable to face reality. Thank you!!

[@vickydittfield9822]

You Dr. Are spot on!❤

[@haleytruslow7200]

🤦🏼‍♀️ I cannot imagine having so little regard for another innocent human being. His poor wife. I hope she finds better.

[@aelh123]

And the baby she sucked out of her womb to keep her affair going

[@amyk87]

This woman has zero morals. She’s sleeping with a married man who is an admitted serial cheater, she killed her own child to keep doing it, and knows everything she’s done is wrong. She says she has remorse, but also admits she keeps justifying it to herself.

[@lauren4078]

Yup. A real dumpster fire of a woman. And now she has lots of baggage!

[@kamarwashington]

Real

[@RDCFemmes]

So the husband found a woman on his level.

[@gmarie3053]

That was the worst part. Sacrificed her baby for this affair. I feel sorry for the guy who has to deal with her afterwards but he’ll most likely be as morally bankrupt as she is.

[@betteashley5706]

and you can bet this was NOT on her career/life plan at Prom Night---- very people pleasing/insecure plus guy is a bastard and he will have more than her on the go

[@amandamoe523]

Kudos to this caller! She is very brave! I could feel her raw pain. I loved her answer...because I knew it was a dead end❤

[@truthprevails7085]

He speaks such truth. Thank you.

[@kendrascorner]

I like how every time she said "i don't want to destroy her life" (about the man's wife) or "I don't want to let her down" (about her friend) John responds with "you already have." This is a perfect example of how we can receive grace and forgiveness, but only AFTER acknowledging our actions and the consequences thereof. This is why, in the gospel, repentance is so important. This goes both ways. We must acknowledge the sin of our own actions to repent. And we must acknowledge the sin of others' actions to forgive. We have to own reality to deal with it.

[@chanel25alston]

So true

[@Mrs.LadeyBug]

Yes.

[@jackcoleman5955]

Very very well said.

[@2okaycola]

Yep

[@Joyjoyjoy4]

What she did is wrong but she didn’t ruin her life.

[@angelrescue100]

I went through the same thing and still dealing with CPTSD off and on. I lost a 39 year marriage and didn't just lose the love of my life, but have been struggling financially and other ways because you lose a lot of other things you invested. It's not like dating in high school. Everything you built together is destroyed.

[@thejojojo1111]

The wife's life is ruined BECAUSE her husband is a narcissistic personality. Not because of this caller. There were other mistresses and there will be many more. He clearly coerced her, knowing she is a virgin, vulnerable and naive. His wife is probably naive, too. This caller is not following God's plan, but neither is the married man. In fact, the man took an oath to be faithful to his wife. The caller did not. The caller is being self- destructive. The destruction of the marriage is squarely on the husband. If it wasn't this mistress, there would be another.

[@biancabianca9470]

​@thejojojo1111 nah she's at fault too. I dont pity anyone who knows right from wrong. You know it's wrong, and if you can get manipulated into doing wrong than you need to work on yourself. But the husband is at fault too

[@Scole23786]

She’s an adult. Surely she has a conscience and integrity to know what she was doing was wrong. It wasn’t just a 1 time mistake, but 6 years! So she is responsible for her actions and so is he. She’s not an innocent child he took advantage of

[@raij465]

@@thejojojo1111Yes, he’s 100% responsible. But the homewrecker is also 100% responsible. She is probably naive, because that’s usually what serial cheaters choose, easily manipulated women. But that’s no excuse. She knows what marriage means.

[@maryambrose8466]

Same. It’s total devastation. Why don’t these other women see this. Can they imagine for one minute being the wife.. the child, the friend, the sister in law.. anyone touched by this level of cowardice betrayal. Terrible.. selfish selfish people

[@virginiagomez8882]

This is extremely helpful

[@Chrissy45999]

This call made me angrier than any other. Every thing she considers is selfish. How it affects her- not the innocent baby, not the wife, just her. Pretty horrendous.

[@trexxy9628]

I may be an agnostic, but there is a phrase I love: God ain’t gonna send you someone else’s husband. The moment you know they aren’t single, you choose to be a cheater as well. I agree - quit the job, move, get therapy, get help to stop the BS and mental gymnastics. She cares about her own pain only, what about his wife and family?

[@booya6437]

Atheists/agnostics always have to sneak that disclaimer in their comments lol

[@lifeaccordingtotheo9643]

​@@booya6437They are the vegans of the relgious world. I like the quote though! It's true! 😅

[@Aeriesan]

Ooh i like that quote. I’ll use that

[@JBCookies8885]

I am so going to use that quote! Thank you!

[@zumurudlilit]

What about Sting and Trudie?

[@ejohnson4321]

This guy makes a lot of sense. To assess people so briefly and give such good advice while being compassionate can't be easy.

[@KatieForsythe-rl1xp]

I cried for the last time tonight because of the sadness you enjoyed …..grateful for small memories …. Be great…. Stay blessed … Goodbye Godblessz ………. No more

[@christinepenkala3690]

John didn't sugar coat it, but he did it with respect!