IF I WERE YOU: Pissing Contest

We discuss the coolest way to relieve yourself on today's Patreon episode.
Reminder: This is just a clip! you can watch the whole thing at / ja

[@GoTeamScotch]

You know, I've heard John Wolf sometimes stands at urinals for extended periods of time and he won't actually piss, but instead he'll just stand next to other guys in the bathroom as they go. He'll even go so far as to switch urinals to get closer to other guys and start small talk with them.

[@paulfuoco-binette3588]

The worst part is that it's totally legal technically

[@Phlickey]

The thing that's most fucked about the whole situation is that often times the talk wont even be that small. Sure, he'll open light, ask his victim if they can believe this weather, or if they caught the big game. Next thing they know it's twenty six minutes later, they've still got their dick in their hand, and John's diatribe on whatever hot button issue has wracked the nation most recently is less than halfway through. All, of course, totally legal, but it really shouldn't be.

[@mac2637]

@@Phlickey how coy

[@rorybray7356]

"your body is the hypotenuse" 😂

[@yinnyonline]

i wish MY body was high-on-pot-enuse

[@iblame_nargles]

_thats my joke..._

[@Camtrain1989]

Jake: "This'll make sense in a moment." Me, almost 2.5 years later, patiently waiting for it to make sense: ...

[@Winteramen]

It's weird how Jake and Amir is my comfort show

[@ChiefVizier]

Amir telling Jake what fonzi doesn't do. And what he actually does. Is the funniest thing ever.

[@brendontompa-clinch2306]

You guys are the best!. Ive been watching you two since 2007. Its so cool that you still are making content! I look forward to your podcasts every week

[@amydalasmusic]

This bit should be produced into a Jake and amir vid, Jake did a great job with it

[@chelsea4957]

its funny how jake is amir in real life

[@awesomeguy2009]

So, Jake was taking a number 81? Or is it a different number if you also put your pants on your arms?

[@edwardnigma9708]

The Christmas Eve episode was so good!

[@llamalover04]

I’d wear a sweatshirt that said “no soap fonzie” on it

[@MissHanake]

love you lads

[@cheenewah]

Lol A literal pissing contest. Aka a good old fashioned pee race.

[@Winteramen]

Amir's face was fr confused @0:14

[@tree453]

Rather curious. There's gotta be a video somewhere online of a fella, towel on face, waterboarding himself with his own piss, right? I mean there has to be.

[@Ryxn9124]

There has to pee.

[@KyanNezhad]

@@Ryxn9124 There absolutely must pee

[@grimsgraveyard3598]

I'm sure there are a few dozen if you know where to look.

[@TimmyMcGowan]

It’s not fun if it’s been done

[@kade_silver]

@@TimmyMcGowan That's an awful slogan, and a bad way to live your life

[@hairyandlarge]

Did they green screen Jake from New York for this?

[@jeremiahlossa5317]

The last minute reads like someone made a bad soundboard

[@fyukfy2366]

i was hoping ben schwartz would be in this

[@MajorMatthias]

oh you think you can piss farther than me?

[@fyukfy2366]

@@MajorMatthias I KNOW I think I can piss farther than you

[@KyanNezhad]

I'm in my bed, shittin' my balls off

[@JiklopDave]

GROUND RULES: No pissing!

[@WriteSound]

This is like the aristocrats , but exclusively about how to piss

[@evanduty6150]

I believe that's called the Mr. Coffee method.

[@Bobbleheads56]

2:46 thats when i do a fonzie

[@bobxyzp]

This is funnier than their new scripted shows

[@simonragnarson22]

STREAM!!!!

[@death1the1kid]

Your body would not be the hypotenuse, that would be the toilet... Actually idk if you could really make a right triangle...

[@beclops]

The wall and floor are the sides of the triangle, Jake is the hypotenuse.

[@andresluz4973]

45 degree angles don't create right triangles, 90 degree ones do.

[@beclops]

@@andresluz4973 The 90 degree angle is the corner of the wall and the floor, the two other corners are 45 degrees. It is an isosceles right triangle.

[@andresluz4973]

@@beclops oh I'm dumb

[@abijo5052]

@@andresluz4973 if you had 3 90 degree angles in the triangle you wouldn't have a triangle

[@Kagaines]

I don’t know if I’ve gotten older or what but more and more I listen to these people and think what is wrong with you. This is creepy not entertaining

[@ralleks]

Bad u Keith

[@mustyshitlap]

I laughed. I chuckled. I had myself a good time

[@yinnyonline]

it's a joke, pal

[@joeyfromschool]

“Creepy” is a weird word choice. This style of comedy isn’t for everyone but I don’t get it being called creepy

[@gayvideos3808]

Now you know how Jake feels every single day