If The Primarchs Retired | Astartes Anonymous Podcast #56

[@sannyer633]

I love how everyone forgets that Angron would probably die shortly after the crusade ends because the nail didn't just make him angry, they were literally killing him because the wouldn't fit in his brain properly

[@eiric6958]

Minor movements or shaking of avatars was much more pleasant to watch compared to the new shaking. Request to change it back.

[@mr.cancer2636]

I 2nd this

[@Lordoftheredsands]

Them shaking like they do now reminds me of the time my little cousin ate mashed potatoes at Thanksgiving

[@crapbasletz]

I 2nd this "two" ❤

[@benoit5587]

I agree. The previous animations were more pleasant to watch. Good that they try new things to see what is the best, but I hope they will come back to the original :) .

[@Heresy_Hound]

The new shaking is fun as a bit, but it gets to be a bit much when it’s constant imo

[@MyGreengecko]

1:18:35 Actually Robot Gorillamain, stated that he would love to run a super efficient Stardew Valley farm, on his channel in the streamer house.

[@Drunkle2552]

What in the holy emperor's bone marrow is this thumbnail!?!?!?

[@Saturn_Studios16]

Flugrim but geralt being fulgrim

[@Wafflemarine22]

Dorn: I'm fortifying this Galaxy! The poor fucking Tyranids almost 10k years later would just essentially hit the galactic version of a screen door that Dorn would have found a way to electrify.

[@kelakogreenaddict1888]

Magnus would get occasional calls from dorn which would go like “magnus, can you come to this star system- I need you to grow 400ft tall and hold this girder in place”

[@tuskedclover3308]

As Rogal Dorn once said, "I am fortifying this position" And if Magnus ever questions it, Door would say "It must be done"

[@Neddicus]

No.

[@ChaoticVoicesofAndreas]

The thumbnail for this episode will never leave my memory...

[@pca-heisenburger]

The chat is NOT making it better, my Lord.

[@ChaoticVoicesofAndreas]

@pca-heisenburger OH GOD

[@Neddicus]

I need me the waterless/bikiniless version rn. C'mon Moots, make like Slaanesh and fulfill my nastiest desires. 😩

[@Marlfoxmokkan]

Y'all got Konrad all wrong He's going to try to become a cop, be kicked off the force for police brutality, then become a mod for discord, reddit, and all of his brothers stream chats. Unruly trolls who ignore warnings log off and never log back in Sanguinius becomes a kpop idol Angron, Perturabo, Leman, and Magnus all stream a D&D game series run by Dorn. Dorn is a brutal dm, Perturabo is an artificer rules lawyer, Angron is a Barbarian murder hobo, Leman is a Paladin murder hobo, and Magnus is a Sorcerer who cares about the story but also keeps fireballing Leman

[@mrhaast5053]

I love that Lion El'Jonson is just Shrek before the first movie.

[@MrBanditguy]

Here is one for Russ: start building IKEAs. Like it's a primal instinct or something

[@WhiteIkiryo-yt2it]

Fulgrim and Sanguinius will have competing hair product lines.

[@Michael-h7z4u]

Except sanguinius’ wont be run by him, instead some rogue trader(or someone else), and Fulgrim will have a crazy amount of animosity towards sanguinius and sanguinius will be confused.

[@nopejhonson958]

I'm just imagining the lion going fishing and he starts noodling in like a bog and then a carcharodon space marine, jaw extended, is just like elbow deep on the lions arms.(noodling is a type of catfish fishing where you dip your arm in rotting liver blood or something and stick it in the water and the catfish just impales itself on your arm as it trys to eat it)

[@Kma99107]

I forgot that's what they call that type of fishing. I've always called it cat fisting

[@WhiteIkiryo-yt2it]

Angron would have the galaxy's most hard-core gym franchise and do work out streams while shouting the entire time like the Ultimate Warrior.

[@WhiteIkiryo-yt2it]

The shenanigans they would end up getting up to in the Imperial Palace would be hilarious. Oh god, Fulcrum would turn that little villa in the mountain into his streamer house, turning the lake into his hot tub.

[@WhiteIkiryo-yt2it]

Fulgrim. Bloody autocorrect.

[@KingBotq]

Ferrus would open a car and bike tuning shop and his number one client would be the Khan

[@atibarixvoice3235]

Konrad Curse would absolutely start a death metal band. He would be the Ozzy Osbourne of 40k. You bet he is going to eat that bat on stage.

[@RougeMephilesClone]

The thumbnail is a nightmare, but the stream chat details are peak.

[@Neddicus]

Im gonna have that thumbnail in my drea- uh NIGHTMARES that was the Word I meant. 👀

[@Laz2074]

Love the idea that the podcast and their discord represent a space hulk full of randos

[@Liethen]

Fulgrim would start a talent agency. Lots of idols under his management. “What’s the matter kid, don’cha wanna be a star?”

[@skullsquad900]

Lets be real Sanguinous would be handing out food and making houses in third world systems.

[@pillarmenn1936]

While I did enjoy the podcast as many have, I also want to say that I preferred the old subtle movements the avatars used to have. Not only were they less distracting, they also didn't cause nausea because they weren't moving rapidly. If I can give a suggested that could serve as a middle ground, maybe have the avatars move up instead without the zoom in? Like them bobbing up and down to look like they're talking.

[@NobodyDungeons]

All the primarch's just become streamers. Dorn streams mine craft, Petter Turbo streams mine craft while insecure about Dorn, Fulgrim is just horny on main, Sanguineous does the wholesome version of Fulgrims streams, Angron plays DOOM and god of war, the Khan streams racing games, Guilliman would stream tactical board games/monopoly, and so on.

[@seannoone2474]

Mortarion does cooking streams but it progressively becomes more unhinged Alpharius becomes a steam prankster but to a point where its thought out months in advance Kurse runs a dark web torture site

[@NegaBot]

Extremely filthy, extremely thin, there is only one option: "Hey, hey, it's ya boy, Mortarion. Today I'm going to tell you about my dead rat alarm clock..."

[@djbeast2145]

I like the cut of this croc guy's jib, also his avatar is bald (like i will be in 5 years). One point is the new zoom in talking makes me feel like an ipad baby with how all the things on screen are moving, i like the old moving it was nicer and more subtle while still denoting who is talking

[@aguspuig6615]

I love how a gabillion people commented that the models moving like that was a little goofy, and the reply was ''noted! we are trying new things!'' but then the madlads just fuckin left it like that. I cant stop thinking of the ''oooOoOOooOoOoOoOOOOo'' dog meme when the models move towards the screen

[@Zivon96]

Alpharius and Omegon are the cosplay streamers, except they don't actually stream on their own channels half the time. Their favourite thing to stream is hijacking their brothers' streams while dressed as them. One twin does the best impression he can while challenging his followers to identify him, while the other just pulls all the memes their brother is known for and embodies it, ie opening a Perturabo Stream with "Hey Rogal! Dare you attack my NEWEST daemonic fortress of PERPETUAL PAIN!" You never know which twin is which.

[@Neddicus]

If i had a choice, I'd be a Thousand son, with a multi melta. I'd use my warp magic to fire a nuke sized blast per trigger pull

[@youaresociety4035]

Yeah, the thumbnail is totally right, i looked at the title and I was like that tracks fulgrim would be a hot tub streamer.

[@Kma99107]

Regular bans, too, for reasons youtube would not allow me to say

[@judeblack4360]

Words can't express how much I _need_ artwork of a Horus Mr. Beast thumbnail. It'd have that oversaturated, child-friendly clickbait look without even attempting to disguise the horrors of 40k. Just a portrait of Horus with a really wide grin and a big red arrow pointing to 500 skin-draped Necrons in the background. Then the search result beneath it is the Mournival's non-transformative reaction video with a similarly over-the-top thumbnail. Maybe have Abaddon and Aximand superimposed over the first thumbnail like the pointing soyjaks. Good God-Emperor, what am I doing?

[@dlemon7547]

Ferrus, Vulkan, and Perty would build terrain and minis for Perturabo's war game that they play on Fridays. Vulkan and Ferrus would try to get their other brothers they like to come and join in.

[@JTruong3rd]

battlemace 40 million!

[@Kma99107]

Perturabo's war game would likely be really easy to leanr but impossible to master, and no matter the timeyer place Perty would go, he would hear people talk strategy for his game, and blame Dorn for no reason

[@cogboy3587]

34:28 so what your saying is, Dorn and Perturabo would just reenact Team Fortress 2?

[@spencerbajer8836]

Alpharius omegon would be the spy/spies, and there would 100% be a word for word remake of meet the spy but with the primarchs.

[@Universal0Life]

Knowing tsundere perturabo I got 2 answers, canonically he would mess around with his models and build things for the people so they could praise him. The funnier thought is he would make the internet thinking everyone around the galaxy will praise him for his invention, then it goes south real fast he completely destroys it so no one gets it or says he won’t give people access again until he gets apologies from tons of people.

[@jeremycollins8851]

Clearly, Angron becomes the 40K equivalent of how to basic

[@MootsTheFunnySwede]

omg how did we not consider that, that's hilarious

[@Neddicus]

Yeah but replace eggs with planets

[@pca-heisenburger]

25:10 Rylanor was wild for saying that.

[@Izayoink_Saccuy]

Their avatar doing the oOoOOoOOOOooOO is so funny to me

[@BattleBrochar]

that thumbnail is diabolical. also, where is red? did you guys milk him?

[@jackmack4181]

31:41 I honestly see Emperor meeting Perturabo once everything is set and done, and asking him to go on a “renovation crusade”. While dorn is debuilding and renovating the imperial palace back to normal, I see Perturbo finally doing what he loves…building things for humanity far from dorn. Magnus would be the fuse of iron throne, but I imagine him in his transcended psychic form becoming a librarian

[@joaqpalma9830]

The Khan would own a car dealership however he would be overly attached to all of the cars and would tell every customer to leave after he shows them the perfect car for them. And due to that he would partake in street racing to pay off his debt caused by lack of customers.

[@mattouimet5920]

I really miss red.

[@EricSoberon-lv6cz]

Same man bring red back😢

[@NaomeK40]

He's too busy in the milking room 😔

[@Rexx8492nd]

I forget he's apart of the crew

[@robbiewise5838]

Why hasn’t he been on any of the episodes?

[@Jacobp-li9fi]

​@@EricSoberon-lv6cz what happened to red?

[@antilivvy7373]

Femboy fishing with Leman Russ. but he's fist fighting the loch ness monster

[@coliimusic]

The waveform-based avatar movement could use some compression or maybe just a different look, it's just not quite there yet. It's a great idea, but it's just a little too aggressive with how it moves the characters when people talk loud or have higher gain on their mic. Maybe even just making it stretch the characters upward somehow instead of expanding their pictures.

[@electricangel4488]

🎶Lupercal Lupercal Lupercal🎶 "Welcome too the Horus Houre which ussualy runs a few"

[@travisjustice5000]

YOOOOO NAPKING MODEL FEATURED?!?! I love that guy's 3d modeling work!!

[@hillbillywizard497]

I started reading rhe comments on Fulgrim's stream. Love Sharrowkyn, Dorn, Perty, and especially Big E 😂

[@halkiierid4084]

You joke about the Swench, but the region of Normandy is called that because it was full of Vikings for a while.

[@therudecanadian8068]

Was it Red who decided to violently shake the crew whenever they spoke?

[@darrianweathington1923]

Why is Fulgrim wearing a bra? His figure is perfection, he transcends all mortal understanding of bodily form. HE NEEDS NO CLOTHING

[@JoshuaKevinPerry]

You see, to look upon Fulgrims glory would shatter the mortal mind. Praise him for his mercy.

[@Izayoink_Saccuy]

Bro is not Adam and Eve

[@FatherOfConqs]

Love the idea of 40k Bloodbowl but it's NASCAR instead

[@Radium_Alarie]

It'd be like chariot races inside the colosseum but on moonshine, meth, and gunpowder, I fucking love it

[@samuelcouey8946]

Khan is still lost in the webway, but it’s just him and a bunch of outriders driving along annoying the eldar with effectively Harley’s

[@Lordoftheredsands]

Well that is definitely some art I guess

[@DetectiveLance]

It's an attention grabber, that's for sure!

[@brett8674]

khan just lives on gorkamorka, racing orks and doing donuts on the necrons lawn.

[@Moramany]

Love the 20 seconds of silence after Lorgar gets stabbed

[@Neoth40k]

The cover of this video left me... Damaged

[@ZebZorander]

Angron: Heavy Metal Frontman

[@wargriffin5]

No, you see, Horus retires and becomes the personal chef to the king of Ursh before founding a PMC group he'll later use to try and coup his former client. 😉

[@Heron654]

What if Vulcan and Guilliman work together on the farm?

[@jameson1239]

That farm would be the most productive farm in the galaxy

[@JoshuaKevinPerry]

Imagine putting on a scaley suit to nail every creature in existence and NOT considering it a retirement. #NeverPulloutFulgrim

[@Wolfbroa]

I absolutely think leman would do a tv show where he is like evil Steve Irwin where instead of finding animals small and cute or danger and teach them he goes to biggest most deadly around the galaxy to fucken wrestle it down with either knife or just his bare hands showing people how crazy animals of the galaxy are while also using it to boost his pride, get tales told of him beating the shit out of deadly creatures to brag about and it would be fucken great

[@ogliara6473]

Whenever Zarek is here, I know it's gonna be a good episode

[@NobodyDungeons]

It would be funny if Dorn and Perterabo swapped roles where Perterabo becomes a well adjusted engineer busy getting humanities tech up to standard. Meanwhile, Dorn begins couch surfing because his identity is based on just being better than Perterabo.

[@Kma99107]

I think it would be Dorn only designs the palaces and very set things, while Peter Turbo designs entire planet sized cities meant to last forever

[@madison_russell04]

I hope this episodes gets a redo like the blunt rotation one because I feel like the idea of the Primarchs actually retiring would be interesting to see taken seriously but this kinda devolved into the streamer house/irl setting.

[@MartinHinders]

Is red gonna be back on for one i love him!

[@ItsJay822]

Magnus is a wizard but only because he posts shadow money wizard gang music and memes😂😂

[@herbanusplumarius3181]

I just astartes'd my anonymous to fulgrims toes and by the emperor, imma do it again

[@Neddicus]

I'll help tag team with you when we bring the Daemonculaba outta the dungeon. Little does everyone know WE are the reason the Iron Hands are well manned.

[@chaotic_nyoom7777]

Honestly I would watch fulgrim stream And i hate myelf for that

[@Wolfbroa]

At least this can be excusable a Demi god like being in comparison to the average human sure but yeah keep that self hate

[@andyroobrick-a-brack9355]

Don't worry. We all would.

[@Sharksvsnids]

Is anyone else a little dissapointed it's almost never the origional 4 on an episode?

[@YatzeeWillWearAGreenHat]

Nope

[@Thewatcher-vp7uh]

Yeah a little

[@jebrooks]

Szarekh is 100% right about 4chan Curze

[@digunder14]

far as i know there is nothing suggesting retirement is even a thing in the imperium

[@filipbajer]

1:40:23 did my KZbin fuck up downloading the episode or is there a solid 10s break where they sit as if they swore a fucking oath of silence in the middle of the podcast?

[@gammothdraws]

Nope, just silence

[@Izayoink_Saccuy]

Adeptus Retiree

[@roxieh.c4053]

@@Izayoink_Saccuy Balor gaming

[@Izayoink_Saccuy]

@roxieh.c4053 Balor gaming

[@aownbey609]

Ferrus dying is a cannon event

[@seanallard9335]

On the next episode of Astartes Anonymous, The Primarchs live in a content house. What games do they play?

[@clarenceweaver1820]

Alpharius and Omegon would just battle each other endlessly in 6D chess with multiverse and time travel

[@kelakogreenaddict1888]

Infinite and divine ah story

[@crapbasletz]

26:55 Pancreas mentioned

[@joshfinch7041]

Magnus just plays the imperial tarot like some people play magic

[@predatitor4183]

The image of waiting for the video to start its great, but its more great read the coments of the chat.

[@onlyxenolord7494]

Mortarion would take over as the host of dirty jobs 100%

[@KAINIVERUS]

Conrad would show up from the shadows asking for change

[@joshfinch7041]

the koronas 500 they race from sol to the Kronos expanse

[@Demigodish4o3]

my Saturday Morning dose of goofs ♡

[@samankucher5117]

29:00 lol he is zoolander 😭🤣

[@EddieAFool]

59:35 So Sanguinius recreates Oshi no Ko episode 1?

[@ronanHanni]

what are the best minis to learn the different painting techniques: normal, drybrush, blending glacing etc. from 40k and aos that are not nececairly the poster factions? would this be a episode idea?

[@Jfk2Mr]

Layering... pretty much every model that is not a pain due to being only ribs or nested stuff one within other. Being large helps, as larger lines require less refined brush control than thin ones. Drybrush - it likes to have a lot of ridges and crevices Stippling - it's less question of what you paint and more of how you want to paint - possibly some paint scheme where you fluidly go from one colour to another (though this is also how you train blending by drybrushing, glazing and layering). So possibly a greater demon like big chicken or vehicle like Lemon Rust

[@KAINIVERUS]

So Aaron what fleet do you hail from. You start with first one on ps2 or newer entry. I hail from kokoto village first fleet

[@jaymaxwell8645]

01:48:08 some pre-cog shit right here.

[@undercovertakodachi4301]

hey gang, it seems that the DC invite is Expired can we get an Update on It. Nice Video as Always

[@kobban63]

54:00 Björklund moment

[@Fyre19]

wonder if anyone got that 10 min timeout

[@onebrokebunni]

Wacky Warhammer Racers and who would win, when?

[@Advo42069]

Before you said Alpharius and Omegon are the pranksters I was thinking the same thing. But my thought was they would constantly prank Angron Corax and Lorgar... which is why Lorger hates his job and wants a vacation. Why Corax gets no views on his stream cuz he is constantly bitter with the unrelenting pranks pulled on him. And Angron mad b'cuz he wants to join in however they lead him on and pretend he gets to contribute but they end up pranking him instead.

[@a-youtube-rat]

horus looks like a kebab chef

[@bobthebuilder9818]

Nice video.

[@emelorebn9602]

Zarek is my GOAT god bless

[@ogliara6473]

Couldn't agree more

[@Vensaxta]

Horus would be Lex Luthor but 1,000% more juiced up, giant bald head and all

[@john_mystery]

Think the movement when talking is still a bit too much lads

[@ominousstranger2769]

You guys but please sync up your audio

[@lordalpharius5928]

12:12 or Orks got Erebus in combat

[@scrantondangler8068]

Got room in that pool for one more?

[@LilithDominica]

Fulgrim already retired lol

[@Hammer56Time]

For real, my man killed Gorillaman and just went to jerk off and rail coke on his pleasure planet forever. Besides that one Rylanor instance he’s been committed to it too.

[@AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH365]

more

[@Kitbash.Carnage]

❤️👍🔥🤘