If you hated puberty, this is for you

[@trmp9923]

It's hard cuz the minute you develop breasts everyone starts acting weird around you, even your family members. And it's like.. I'm still the same girl.

[@mariannepaisley1946]

So true, even now (22) I have a bigger chest than the rest of my immediate family so I am not meant to walk around without a bra on because it makes everyone else feel weird??

[@Angell_Lee]

@The Real Deal 2 of my friends had to do a breast reduction size because of this, can't we get a break, we haven't asked for any of this.

[@gingerbellz359]

same

[@trmp9923]

@@gingerbellz359 mine of course are bigger than average which only made it worse

[@fluffypuppy4831]

I’m a 15 year old female and I can relate. I don’t feel fully comfortable in my body because I hate the idea of being sexualized.

[@simfimpim]

It will get easier as you get older.

[@roombapog]

yo i’m also 15

[@standup2982]

Girls, this is normal. It IS society, not you. Women are amazing, this will pass for you 💜

[@JohannaParrishParrish_Place]

@@fawnedover why you shouldn't feel that way.. I love my sports bras though for keeping them in position.

[@daisyhinojosa23]

I know how you feel I wore the ugliest shit in school that way I wouldn’t be sexualized

[@janaw1230]

It's sad to think that the time I felt most sexualized by society was between the ages of 12-17. I think we don't prepare girls for this and generally ignore it because it's pretty sick. There was no sweatshirt big enough.

[@kirstycat]

"There was no sweatshirt big enough." !!!! preach to that

[@TheKatarinaGiselle]

SAME!! 🥺😞 I hate to even think about it. I was molested by my brother in law at the ages of 11-12 and nobody did anything about it once I told them. It has completely broken my family years later. My sister is still married to him, we don’t see one another which means our children don’t see one another. Nobody talks..it’s a very sad situation.

[@lidahall5928]

@@TheKatarinaGiselle OMG I'm so sorry... That kind of thing is all too common, tragically.

[@yesthatisababytoucan.youre6983]

"There was no sweatshirt big enough." That hit different

[@BattleGn0me]

families used to raise their boys differently. I shouldn't and hasn't always been that way. This is a symptom of a nihilistic, undisciplined, self absorbed, dysfunctional society.

[@kristalvibes774]

Your voice is more feminine now. Good work! I developed an eating disorder during/after puberty when starting middle school. Not only do men and boys look at you, but girls look at you and call you fat and/or ugly. You are attacked from every side and after a while it is so easy to believe that your worth is in your physical appearance. I still have eating issues. :-(

[@simfimpim]

Yes! People talk so much about boys but I think the treatment from other girls can be even worse in some ways.

[@yesthatisababytoucan.youre6983]

I saw a quote today that I will drop here: "Always remember, it is your clothes' job to fit you, not your job to fit your clothes." XOXO✨🖤

[@TransgenderAmmosexual]

There is nothing wrong with a woman having a deep voice.

[@BerthuZ6]

Your voice sounds so much softer!! What an improvement!

[@skrrt-skrrt]

I literally said "Woah," when she started talking.

[@skrrt-skrrt]

Amanda Lochmann Bruh, every comment disagrees with you. You need to get your hearing checked 😂

[@amorestierraamadahermoso5810]

@@skrrt-skrrt you call women brothers lol

[@skrrt-skrrt]

amores tierra amada hermoso He’s not a woman.

[@Veleven]

@Amanda Lochmann if you go back to her first video, you can definitely notice a huge difference.

[@abif.6820]

"Being a women is not a punishment, being a women is a gift" this statement is so important for girls to hear thank you for being strong enough to share it ❤️ Side note I love your shirt 😍

[@tubester4567]

Young girls need to realize everyone goes through crap during puberty, and not liking your body including boys. Its a normal part of growing up. Figuring out how you fit into the world and what you're going to do with your life is stressful. Girls dont have a monopoly on problems. The highest rates of suicide are from boys and men and women usually live longer. Women get sympathy and protection for the most part from the media and society whereas men are demonized.

[@abif.6820]

@@tubester4567 I 100% agree I think men's issue definitely don't get enough attention. Boys tend to hide their emotions because they have been taught to "man up" so they never get talked about (and every body demonizes them if they don't fit the cookie cutter feminist man ) and it's really awful. I hope someday we will live in a world where people can talk about their issues regardless of what gender they are and we can help young people to feel more comfortable in their bodies.

[@abif.6820]

@Aaron Regnistruc ofc but I think distinguishing dysphoria and puberty is important, if you don't identify as the gender you are born obviously that is distressing, but hearing that everyone goes through periods of hating their body can help you identify if what you are going through is "normal" or something more (as in gender dysphoria). Hope this clears up my position on it. ☺

[@suspendedforsexiness]

@Aaron Regnistruc Exactly, i'm a transman and I don't wanna be female normally. I just am not a female. I don't feel comfortable with saying i'm female. It makes me even more dysphoric when people say 'oH uR jUsT cOnFuSEd'.

[@lil_weasel219]

being a woman is neither. just like being a man is nor a gift not a punishment

[@junobeau]

you are so insightful and intelligent! i'm a 17 year old female and after identifying as ftm from 14-16, i'm finally starting to actually feel comfortable with myself. i call myself a young woman and feel so much pride in that. i'm so glad you're happy and comfortable with yourself because that's what you deserve!! never stop doing your thing

[@domy6827]

"you don't have to do anything to be a woman" YES being a woman is not a gender stereotype, but being female. deliberately flout the stereotypes if you want to, but it doesn't make you less of a woman

[@TransgenderAmmosexual]

“You don’t have to do anything to be a woman” true; trans women who haven’t medically transitioned yet are women. Just like I as a trans man did not have to do anything to be a man; I always was but it became clear by my mid thirties that I was never going to feel at peace in my own body if I didn’t medically transition but transitioning is not what made me a man.

[@Carol-Bell]

What you describe about society is misogyny. Plain and simple. It’s discrimination at the deepest level and at the most vulnerable time of a girl’s life. Misogyny from men, adult women, and ingrained into little girls in the most evil, harmful way. I’m so impressed you have it pegged for what it is, and that you are speaking out to help others. You explain it so clearly, including the truth, that a girl does NOT have to live up to what others think about or define as “womanhood”, and can be themselves. Keep going, Elle!

[@commentsiguess1263]

I'm FtM and closeted myself. I didn't realize I had dysphoria for the longest time because I didn't hate my body or female-ness. It just...was what it was. However, as time went on, I realized that it wasn't *me*. Thank you for making videos like this. They really helped me with the questioning process.

[@zoe-jj6jc]

How old were you when you realized that?

[@commentsiguess1263]

@@zoe-jj6jc 19. I'm 20 now.

[@zoe-jj6jc]

@@commentsiguess1263 ok, thanks man. I also feel like that, but wanna wait until I'm an adult before coming out, just to be sure

[@TransgenderAmmosexual]

@@zoe-jj6jcI am FtM & even though I had what I now have the words to say was pretty severe gender dysphoria since my earliest memories when I was two years old, though of course I didn’t have that language at the time but I knew I felt wrong in my body & that I would have given anything to have been born male but given I was growing up in the 80’s & 90’s I didn’t even hear the word transgender until I was 8 and then that was only in regards to trans women & it was presented in an extremely negative light as people who were mentally ill & I didn’t know for sure that other trans men existed wasn’t until I was in college & even though I was pretty sure I was trans well before this, since at the the time trans people were excluded from serving openly in the military, it wasn’t until I got off active duty at 25 that I came out to anyone & it still took until I was 35 to decide to pursue medical transition. Which now at 39 I would say was absolutely the right choice! I would say it is definitely a good idea to wait until you feel really sure; so, there is no second guessing whether you made the right decision. However, just be aware if you do wait till 30 or beyond to start testosterone, the amount your voice will drop will likely be a lot less than if you had started it when you were younger.

[@virginiaalonso-luis4535]

your voice is getting much higher/feminine imo!

[@vinnie6133]

@Amanda Lochmann 105 people's ears disagree bye!

[@vinnie6133]

Oop I accidentally replied from my other account

[@AetherealGirl]

Does it matter? Her deep voice doesn't make her any less of a woman.

[@virginiaalonso-luis4535]

@@AetherealGirl So true! Youre actually absolutely right

[@tish3092]

I feel,like we let our younger sisters down by hearing you didn’t know this, it’s pretty much a universal experience from memory, hating periods, hating sexualised expectations imposed upon us, unwanted male attention was ubiquitous and we were judged for not responding in the right way,. I love being a woman but puberty was absolutely no picnic. You are right. This is about societal expectations, those do need to be dismantled. Identifying out of womanhood changes nothing. Though I understand the flight from womanhood. Absolutely.

[@yayforcats]

I came out as a lesbian at 14, right around the start of my puberty, and I really think that if I hadn’t connected with my lesbian identity so early I might have ended up identifying as trans. I wasn’t comfortable with the way my body was changing and the male attention I was getting, but I was able to attribute that discomfort to my sexuality instead of my gender identity. The thought of being trans did cross my mind, mostly because I’m much more comfortable with my hair short and would very much like a breast reduction, but that message of “there’s no wrong way to be a woman” that you stressed in this video was something that I came to understand as a teenager and it‘s what helped me accept myself the way I was. It’s so fucking important for young girls to hear what you’re saying.

[@asentientgoose]

god, i’m so happy you created a dialogue around this. I grew up being repulsed by my changing body. I also somehow saw myself as ‘holier than thou’ in my teens as I had small boobs and a boyish figure, so strange - like, I wasn’t like “those” girls who were curvy and womanly. where is this stemming from? I literally separated myself from my girlhood/womanhood and now at 22 am I going through the clunky process of connecting my mind to my body.

[@baileycannon3777]

This helped me realize I was just “opting out” as a 14 - 17 year old. I hated my new curvy body. I just wanted to be someone else, less sexualized. I have now been identifying as “non-binary” for 3 years, and I can tell you from my experience- that I was and still am persuaded by the internet and society to either conform to the standards for woman, or transition to male and feel “myself”, but I just needed time to grow and develop into my own head! Thank you so much for helping me love myself. 2012 - 2016 I was searching to be someone I was not. Now I can proudly say I am me, and my gender does not define that!

[@Im_so_Retro85]

You definitely need to become a psychologist and help young people who find themselves in the same confusion you experienced as a teen. I think this is your calling and the reason you struggled with your gender identity. You are truly amazing!

[@floor5188]

❤️I hated growing boobs and cried when I noticed I grew hips and all my pants didn’t fit me anymore. I think that a changing body can always ignite dysphoria. Even without having societal norms being pressed upon me by family or high school friends

[@pantsuit6784]

When I was a young teenager, I was very uncomfortable being female, and wished I was a boy instead. Now, in my early 20s, I'm very happy in being an adult woman. I'm glad my parents encouraged me to grow into myself, instead of changing who I was.

[@roombapog]

i’m also a 15 year old girl. I’m relatively comfortable in my own skin but I hate how older men and dudes in general hit on me and harass because i’m a lesbian.

[@ThinWhiteAxe]

oof. as an asexual I have a paranoia about guys hitting on me

[@ThinWhiteAxe]

@@blackcatluck12345 I didn't say it wasn't

[@lil_weasel219]

@@blackcatluck12345 how so. Im a gray asexual lesbian. Its analogous in terms of old prunes not taking no for an answer.

[@DeicidaDaemonium]

I love your videos. I'm a 25-year-old woman who has always struggled with body issues. When I was 14-16, I was pretty heavy (5'3" and 165-170 lbs) and not fully grown into my "adult" body, although I started my period at 8.5 years old. I experienced sexual harassment from guys, usually older than I was, but I never let it bother me. Instead I embraced my tomboyishness (even until this day) and told them to essentially fuck off and went about my day. I remember wanting to be a guy when I was 14-16. I didn't have gender dysphoria but I absolutely had body dysmorphia. I loved dressing in more "masculine" clothes and still do. Never wear skirts, never wear dresses, don't wear jewelry. In the end, I just love myself for who I am. I still to this day wonder how I would have turned out if I was a man, but I know it's not possible to be 100% male, so I refuse to transition or anything related. I don't think I would enjoy transitioning or changing my gender. I think it would cause me to fall into the deepest depression I would ever experience.

[@onibugi5267]

I remember when my hips and butt got bigger because of puberty, I was so afraid of men looking sexually at me that for years I wore only things that covered that part of my body.. It's definitely true that we, women, should talk more about those topics, show young girls that they shouldn't feel uncomfortable in their skin but we should also teach boys to be more respectful..

[@kirstycat]

Elle, you are so wise beyond your years. I am so thankful that I found your channel as it's been so comforting and enlightening for me to hear your story. I nearly cried watching this video as this is exactly how i felt when I was 15-17, I felt so disgusted in my female body, I hated everything that came with puberty. I really questioned my gender a lot, I went by a different unisex name for awhile too, I cut my hair very short, I only wore mens clothes, but still I did not love myself, or love my body, I look back and almost hated it more. I'm not exactly sure when the turning point for me was, but it was definitely leading up to my 18th birthday, I started to exeriment with makeup and dresses (not that this makes you a woman) but I started to feel more comfortable and confident in me, Kirsty, a woman. I really struggle to talk about this time in my life, I don't talk to anyone about it now, but when I saw this video, I stood in my kitchen, nearly crying, feeling less alone and strange for going through this. Thank you for being you, much love, Kirsty.

[@LK-kk4lc]

This is why when I see women disrespecting women it makes me so sad

[@inescabo5918]

Seeing my female body develop was SO weird to me from 11 to 15 years old. I always wished I could keep my pre-teen body so bad, and I felt ashamed everytime someone commented on my appearance, whether it be complimentary or in a mocking way. I hated everything that had to do with ''behaving like a girl'' like being more flirty, shaving my legs, being interested in the boys in school... I hated all of that LMAO. However, I never ever questioned my gender identity. Feels like in the back of my mind there's always been the idea of ''one day you'll be comfortable enough to be your own kind of woman''. From a personal point of view I agree that identifying as a trans person and deciding to transition is a very heavy step to make and should be taken really seriously, and most of all, one should be aware of the life-long consequences and the fact that it changes your entire world completely. Sorry I just felt like ranting, stay safe everyone x

[@pukinbabymiller4290]

Also my mama made me feel really ugly about my body hair and I started shaving my underarms at 7, I remember crying. Then in eighth grade, my stepmama locked me in the bathroom with a bottle of Nair and said I couldn't leave until I shaved my legs, this came after I spoke up about prideful of my leg hair.

[@ThinWhiteAxe]

Seven?! You must've started puberty earlier than I did. Wow.

[@nitzan3782]

Oh my God, your treatment due to your hair sounds worse than mine, and I was pressured into laser treatments starting 13.

[@pukinbabymiller4290]

@@ThinWhiteAxe in hindsight I really didn't, I was just taught to hate my body hair, but it confused me so much growing up because I really liked how I looked and shaving later turned into an OCD where in high school I couldn't have any hair on my body.

[@TheKatarinaGiselle]

Nitzan G not gonna lie..it’s sad that you were pressured..but feel blessed to have laser therapy. I would kill for it. But I also have a disease that alters the dns of my skin and hair, so I am dying for laser treatments..especially to my face because I also have hirsutism.

[@nitzan3782]

@@TheKatarinaGiselle No, I won't "feel blessed" that I had laser treatments, and you have no right to demand I do. You can save up for them yourself, I can't get my natural body state back. You sound like infertile women shitting on others who have abortions because "I'd die to have a baby myself".

[@dopedreamz]

When I was a teen boy I would have been considered or pushed toward a belief I was gay because I was totally socially awkward. When it's normal to feel that way, unable to speak to girls as a teen aged boy and I love your shirt.

[@baylordiamond8819]

this is more of a trans issue I think you would know if you were gay

[@dopedreamz]

Baylor Diamond quite simply NO. It is not a trans issue and to assume that is wildly narrow minded. It's a human issue. Puberty is awkward for everyone and does not or should not lead to the idea you are gay or trans. When I was a teen yes I knew I was straight but if I had grown up in the last 10 years I would have been pushed into a gay label simply because communication was impossible. I waited didn't assume I was gay as media preaches today, waited until my male body developed and much like this lady learned to love being me, not change me.

[@baylordiamond8819]

dopedreamz I don't know about you but I am a teenager who is very secure in my sexuality and I know that's not true for every teen out there but I know what a crush is and know what lust is and I know the difference between finding a guy attractive and wanting to fuck him these are just easily recognisable human emotions. Again I don't speak for every teenager

[@dopedreamz]

I was a teen 20 years ago, when it was not normal to be gay and trans was not a fad. Had I been born 20 years later and were a teen age boy today I'd be taught to assume I am gay. Also, you are confident in your sexuality because of the day and age you are raised in and the prolific sexuality you are bombarded by from every side. When I was 16 getting caught with a cassette tape of "let's talk about sex" was a big deal.

[@anonymousaardvark1788]

I’m 15 years old, and I currently present as male. I’ve been watching a lot of detransition videos lately to compare them to my own experience, and they’re all very informative. With that being said, I honestly can’t relate to a lot of this, and I realize that this fact is rather odd (as the majority of people who grew up in female bodies certainly can to some extent or another). I’ve never felt sexualized. That is not to say, of course, that I never have been, but I am a very oblivious person. When puberty started, I can’t say I really noticed. I started developing pretty early, so my mom got me some bra-ish things, and that was that. I think she told me once that she would show me how to shave if I wanted her to, but I never did, and that was that. I remember in 7th grade, I made some comment about not understanding why people shave their legs to a friend of mine. As I eventually figured out, she shaved, as did most girls in my grade. I’d had no idea, as I didn’t really look at their legs to see. I felt kind of bad, because I thought I might have made my friend feel bad about it, but I still felt to urge to shave myself. I’ve never worn a ‘real’ bra. I didn’t really notice that I had a female chest for a while, in the sense that I didn’t actively think about it, as my mental image of myself has always been at least a few years younger than my actual self. Once I noticed, I definitely became uncomfortable, but it wasn’t a sexual thing at all. They just seemed terribly inconvenient. The same for my wide hips, and my period. I’ve never had any interest in having children, so why did I have these things? I grew up assuming that once I ended up in an ‘adult’ body, it would feel great, or at least right. I pretty much denied the fact that I was growing up for years, and once I couldn’t avoid it anymore, it hit me: I could not relate to this body. It was not mine. I have always felt somewhat disconnected from my body, but this was different. I started presenting more masculinely. I was always pretty neutral in my sense of style, as I didn’t really think about it much, and just wore what was comfortable, but this was certainly more noticeable. It felt like I had realized, for the first time in my life, that I actually had a body, and that it was, in some way, supposed to represent my mind. Over about two years, I went from presenting completely female to completely male. I never said I was ‘trans’, I just did it. I knew that being transgender was a thing, certainly, but I didn’t want to have to deal with my parents (my relationship with them was already tense from other, vaguely related issues, and I am horrible at human communication in general), so I have not ‘come out’ as anything. I did tell them I was a lesbian, once, but that was just blatantly wrong. I have never been attracted to anyone, romantically or sexually. Anyways, I started at a new (very small) school in 9th grade, and introduced myself as a guy, and although some people probably think/know that I’m trans, it’s not important. Presenting as male is better for me at the moment, and maybe it always will be. I don’t know. I doubt I’ll ever be a woman, whatever one is. My parents still think of me as their daughter, I think, but they know that I use a different name at school so I’m guessing they’ve caught on. I don’t hate my body. I just can’t relate to it. I’m not sure that the self in my mind is male, as I doubt that he is human (I have a very hard time relating to and understanding people, and as such feel like an alien), but whatever he may be, my body does not look like his. I wish it did, and someday I may be able to change it to match better. I don’t know. I have no idea why I wrote all of this out. If anyone reads this, I would appreciate any thoughts. I can’t really talk about this coherently in reality (mentally, I mean, due to some other complicated circumstances), so anything you might have to say will certainly help me think through things.

[@dumpstercub2902]

You have a very interesting outlook on life and identity . I’m a ftm 16 year old. It’s interesting to see the differences in puberty experiences all the commenters have. This was cool to read.

[@anonymousaardvark1788]

Thanks :). Out of curiosity, how does your experience differ, if you don’t mind me asking?

[@dumpstercub2902]

A Jones I’ve felt pretty sexualized for a while mainly because we live in a “bad area” and my dads worried about rape, also just shitty coworkers and the good ol public transportation catcall. Other then that it’s actually pretty similar

[@4455-d6w]

interesting perspective.

[@happyzinny]

Wow that s a good bit similar to how I felt at 15 (20 now). A lot has gone through my mind since then. Always challenge your assumptions... woman doesn t have to be a role. There is no mold or abstract image to grow into, only reality.. wear whatever & honestly, it doesn t matter if you pass off as male to strangers who will never know you. That s cool. I think you integrate your body with your mind by using it. Manual labor, physical activity, making material objects. It s normal to struggle to relate to people too. Feeling alien doesn t make you less human and not relating to womanhood doesn t change the facts of a physical body, but in the grand scheme of things a female body doesn t have to be a big deal. If it hasn t meant much thus far in your life why should it start becoming an issue now. Just be yourself and grow. None of that really has to change.

[@rissthebee]

I identify as ftm. Haven’t started transitioning yet. But desperately want to. I’m kind of scared that transitioning will be a mistake. It’s not your fault, your content has allowed me to be more mindful and slow down. So thank you. Because of you I won’t rush, and I’m planning on making sure this path is the right thing for me before I do something I can’t take back ❤️

[@jackandpicklesvlogs]

As a teacher and parent, I thank you for talking about this angle.

[@nannatheilgaard9156]

Thank you for this video, it really set some thoughts rolling in my mind. This is what i wish i had been told when i was younger: "You don't have to be a sexual person er present yourself as sensual, in order to be seen as a woman" For some reason that was really ingrained in me, and probably stil is. But i am trying to see myself in a different light.

[@ariagrace7431]

your voice is sounding more and more feminine :)

[@Ishouldprobablyhidemynamelol]

I don’t understand why some people would ever have a problem seeing a woman being happy with herself. This just makes me happy to see.

[@Eyesofmars2040]

🤚 I hated my boobs for years. Probably didn’t feel good about them until I hit 30. I was also paranoid about other things that changed in other places. I felt dirty. I wish someone would have told me that a lot of it was natural and normal. So glad none of that was even a thought or an option when I was young. It made me a stronger person by overcoming it.

[@rogdohio50]

This was amazing! Thank you so much. You shed such an important light on this issue. I hope young girls listen.

[@vinylmisfit2165]

I went through this when I was about 14, I came out as trans to my parents cut my hair short and went to school and that’s how it was for about a year, my dad gave me an awfully hard time and instead of discovering for myself in my own time I rushed and said I changed my mind this isn’t for me. Looking back now at 23 I realise that it was treatment in school that made me feel insecure and as if I wasn’t born the person I should have been. I’m still on my identity journey now but I really do resonate with your story and others in the comments. It’s hard and should be spoken about much more.

[@dylancole1910]

Elle I'm glad your so happy with yourself now, keep advocating for young girls your doing so much good.

[@swamisalami3000]

Even guys went through that. Boys also feel uncomfortable in their bodies in their teens. I know I was.

[@betheroo2397]

I'm so glad your videos are out there! Most of us went through a phase of "Dang it, I'd rather be a boy," or maybe just feeling awkward in our own skin during puberty. It's totally natural! It's definitely important to encourage young girls to be happy with who they are and not feel like they need to make a major change even if they go through a rough spell.

[@simfimpim]

I never had dysphoria but yes, puberty sucked. I hated it! It's super awkward and getting my period was not a joyful experience. It was painful and I hated it. But eventually, you grow mentally into your body and while periods still suck, you learn to deal with it. Also, regarding unwanted attention from men, trust me, as you get older you start to care much less and that comes with becoming stronger mentally and learning how to handle yourself and others. The same goes with how you feel around other women. You just learn to feel more comfortable with yourself. No one is 100% comfortable with themselves and what they look like, but it starts to affect you less as you get older.

[@Saltysteele]

I think your message is maybe one of the most important messages someone can deliver to a teenage girl today. Just like ADD is over dx'd, so is being trans. Your voice has lightened considerably since your vid 3 months ago, btw :)

[@madamedestcroix]

Fab video Elle...I'm genuinely happy for you that you are feeling so comfortable with yourself...so wonderful to see a young woman with no make up and messy hair sharing her wisdom, humour and compassion. You rock!!!!

[@tieiatalks]

I’d love a video of you interviewing your parents. ♥️

[@MorrysIllusion]

i commented on a previous video i think and ive continued to keep up w your videos bc i had gone through a very similar child-teenhood as many of the ftmtf's out there. and i wanted to give my bit on puberty experience bc for a while i thought it wasnt relevant but thinking about it now, it totally was. at a young child age 8-12 i was super active on the internet and in short experienced multiple cases of online child sexual exploitation. i was oddly hypersexual at that age of course and additionally i started my period early, i was 10 when it started. at that point tho i wasnt really going through puberty (period yes, but no body hair, breasts, etc) and the talk of it hadnt started yet. by the time real puberty started.. well, i wasnt taught a single thing on it! my mom just mentioned i should get a bra and i didnt get one for a good number of years bc i was too shy to ask- only did when i hit middle school due to PE locker rooms!! its important to say i wasnt talked to or taught about puberty and additionally my mom let me skip The Video that they made girls watch. I think that lack of knowledge made me hate the Girl Stuff bc i was afraid of it. i didnt understand any of that stuff, regardless of having way too much sexual knowledge from trauma but that was all "taught" to me in am improper way. the reality of what it all was scared me. and my mom's general neglect on that end, and my hate for her as a mother, probably made me hate confronting any of it even more! but bc i was the Weird Girl who wore baggy clothes due to no bra, didnt shave, only touched pads and not tampons, etc- i felt completely alien from everyone else. i think from a young age i was put in a place where i was going to always feel alien compared to girls. this went on for all of elementary school and i think its deep affected my development and ruined how i perceived girls. people often made comments about me looking like a boy, teachers PRAISED me for not wearing "slutty" outfits?? if anything i felt like i was better than those girls bc i wasnt like them and christ, i hate that i ever felt that way towards girls. it 100% made me not want to be a "girl" when i turned 14 and lead onto 15, that was when the Trans feeling hit me. and guess what? along with that i became completely asexual for a period. at that point i had blocked out all childhood sexual trauma and in turn denied all sexuality due to hating being sexualized as a girl. i had a very strong period of feeling like a trans boy...but once i hit 17-18 i was learning about other gender expressions and identity and let it be more vague. ultimately didnt transition right away due to a mess of feelings about gender and i didnt have access to anything to fix it until my mom died- which gave me a good amount of time to think about it hard. to this day i dont identify with gender in any form, bc i feel like its only fucked me up to try. im glad im in a better place and no longer care about how i present or feel internally in terms of gender. but im sure i wouldve grown into being ok with being female if all that hadnt happened through growing up and hitting puberty.

[@xxfolieadeux3773]

Elle, I am quite thankful to you for recording this video, I find it very important to talk about this subject. I don't yet feel ready to share my experience publicly so having others do so makes me grateful. I can definitely relate to all that was said in this video, specially when it comes to being sexualised and receiving unwanted sexual attention coming from older males. When I made the decision to accept myself I wanted to look as feminine as possible and it did not feel right, now I accept myself comfortably as a woman who does not shave, does not care to wear a bra or not or how others perceive me. I am in love with my womanhood. (I must add: you are gorgeous, my goodness!)

[@karpeterdavis1821]

You are doing such important work, I feel like so many teenage girls really needed to hear all of this! I have always wanted to be a boy, I remember thinking of myself like that as early as 4 years old, when I was 7 I put top-surgery on my bucket list. I actually "opted out" of transitioning at 13 because I saw it as too difficult and tedious and swore myself to never think about it again. Now I'm nearly 18, finally reconnecting with that side of myself, questioning if I made the right decision, and, most importantly, ready to make my own choices about my body. I'm so thankful that people like you are covering this side of transition and stopping young people like me from getting sucked into all this "transition-propaganda" we are constantly receiving on social media, so that we can make smarter choices about our own bodies. Thank you so much Elle!!

[@theotherkangaroo]

You look & sound very comfortable in your skin now -- you are glowing 😀 And your voice is feminine & strong! 💗

[@dariak.9670]

My personal experience as a teenager: I had my first bf when I was 14 and struggled extremely with him wanting to be intimate and other boys constantly commenting on my chest or behind.I was uncomfortable with my body and that led to me wearing baggy jeans, hoodies and tucking my hair under a beany. The boys started calling me by a boy name and my bf broke up with me because it was embarrassing to him that I looked so boyish. Back then the internet was not accessible to me and I have to say I think it's good this way. I know now that I struggled with suddenly being sexualised and rejected that by trying to make myself less appealing to men. I think this is a fairly common reaction to be honest.

[@fionacurran6477]

This is such an important and powerful message for young girls and women who are going questioning gender indentity and even those who aren't. Young girls should be taught self love and to be unapologetic. Growing up my mother always commented on my appearance and how I behaved. She would tell me to suck in my stomach, she would push my legs closer together while I was sitting, she would comment on how fast or how much or what I was eating. These are all things that still impact how I view myself today. I have trouble eating around other people and don't have a appropriate or clear view on my image. These are the last issues young girls should be dealing with during puberty and onward. We should be building each other up and being unapologetically ourselves, who ever that may be.

[@Azperry2]

I feel so conflicted about the whole debate about transitioning in general; I am a trans guy and have been on T for 6 months. But I always KNEW I was male; I was peeing standing up at age 3, and taped my chest when I was 10. I always thought I was "born in the wrong body", so when I learned what being trans was, it all made sense. If anything, I feel like I felt like such a strong, empowered woman, and it was hard for me to leave that all behind and become a scrawny, skinny dude.

[@skrrt-skrrt]

I'm a lesbian. I taped my chest at 10 too (and my hips). Whenever men would try to groom me through their collective sexual humiliation tactics, I'd feel a deep sense of self-revulsion. I "knew" I should've been male until I realized it was all a lie: we aren't stereotypes. There were no "women's sections" in prehistoric times. What I "identify" with is feeling like a person, but being trapped in a body that's treated like an object.

[@deepoo8387]

I watch tons of these videos to try to understand the detrans perspective. I then wonder if I could de-transition. My initial thought is "what? but I'm a guy." I seriously forget I even transitioned in the first place. I'm pretty healthy and happy. I don't really care if I'm actually a woman because I'm living as a man anyways, friends, family, strangers, recognise me as such.

[@Azperry2]

Animal Liberation For me, I feel like my "sex" is Male; I was born in the wrong body. Gender identity, however, is still up for debate, whether or not I identify as a binary trans man or more non-binary.

[@kwiiin_]

Your points make so much sense. I hated my breasts, I hated my body hair, I hated having periods. I was hiding under saggy clothes and layers of fabric and saw my body as my enemy, this was so insane. Young women go through so much (visible) shit and I wished someone would have told me „It‘s okay to hate yourself at the moment“. Puberty was an experience I wish I could have skipped.

[@wibbit7843]

I personally didn’t feel comfortable in my body until I was an adult. Puberty is a weird time for everyone.

[@JamaicanRain]

Not everyone. My school system has excellent sex education and it was super-natural for me!

[@ORGSE]

@@JamaicanRain sex ed doesn’t necessarily make it any better for everyone. Hormones can suck! I’m glad that it was not a negative experience for you, though.

[@Prior2Popular]

This video was so wholesome and perfect, thank you so much for this! I’ve been thinking about this for awhile and I’m glad that someone else agrees! You’ve got it right, sis! It’s hard to be a girl, but it’s not bad to be a girl. I even think it builds a lot of character, personal strength, and empathy, personally.

[@danafields1946]

Off topic, but there is something so calming about your voice!

[@SarahNicaise]

I listened to your videos from February and then now and your voice has gotten so much higher!

[@ectooo]

I'm actually a trans woman but your channel helps me a lot. 💕💕 since I began my transition I've always felt this sort of "disconnection with the feminine" that makes me think I'm not really a woman, but this video made me consider I'm probably just terrified of the pressure women go through when they acknowledge they're women. either case I'll learn to accept my journey eventually and be comfortable with myself. 😊 keep it up!

[@LexyLemons]

i’m in my mid 20s, and i’m just starting to breach the surface of this. having dysphoria as well as anorexia throughout my teens which carried into my early 20s. i have had to also reflect on a lot of my younger self during puberty, my mind and my world felt like they were destroyed and i never was treated the same. friends family adults teachers etc. i know so many girls experienced similar things. all of sudden you’re just wrong for existing. at home at school everywhere i wish Someone had comforted me back then and said it was okay to feel how i was feeling and that it was actually normal, and! okay to like myself how i was. i have memories of guys making fun of my body and sobbing to mom bc i didn’t even understand what they were talking about. it was hard for my younger mind to rationalize by itself ,how all of the things happening to me weren’t my fault.

[@sandraesterm8894]

this !! this video is so important. thank you so much for making it

[@lindadelacy9516]

Hi Elle -- I'm old enough to be your mom, and I love your videos! My puberty sucked, too. There were mean boys at my bus stop in Jr. High who never missed their daily critical comments about my appearance. (this lasted for 2 years). This scarred me for most of my life. One of those boys actually apologized to me during our senior year in high school; that was pretty amazing, but the scars were already deep. I am still insecure and not confident in my abilities, even though others have been very complimentary over the years. You have sent an extremely important message! Keep it up!

[@Channel66678]

This IS AN EXTREMELY IMPORTANT MESSAGE TO ALL YOUNG WOMEN/GIRLS. YOU'RE AWESOME ELLE ❣️

[@joserics]

Thank you Elle, keep with your great content, hope this video arrive to many teen girls who feel insecure about themselves

[@jaylag8746]

I’m glad that you’re taking about this. I thought I was alone in the level of discomfort I felt in becoming a woman. This needs to be talked about more and tbh girls during puberty should be treated much better

[@SamirCCat]

This is why we need to have feminism IN COMBINATION with being pro-trans. Not one or the other, but BOTH. So that trans people know that it's actually their gender IDENTITY that they are unhappy with, not their gender expression/being sexualised/expecting to act in a certain way. You can be any way of feminine/androgynous/masculine/neutral and identify as a woman! It's the way YOU see YOURSELF that determines your gender idenity, not how much you are conforming to societal standards of gender stereotypes.

[@rainegames]

I'm glad you made this video - at around age 17 I hated having a grown woman's body, I didn't feel ready to be an adult yet. The idea of pregnancy and breastfeeding and motherhood terrified me, as that's the entire purpose of puberty, and I didn't want to take on a stereotypically female role. I've always been a bit of a tomboy, playing video games, dressing in hoodies and jeans and not wearing makeup so that also played a role. Being someone with very few friends in real life I was active on Tumblr as well. This was just as gender ideology was just beginning to catch on, and though I knew I didn't want to be a guy, I took on the labels "non binary" and "demigirl" and dreamed of getting surgery to remove my unwanted female parts and achieve a more neutral look. It didn't help that my mother was very overprotective and I wasn't allowed out after dark - "too many perverts out there" she said, and this made me even more embarrassed to be female, I thought if I didn't look like a girl they'd leave me alone, so I cut my hair short, wore sports bras and baggy shirts and also went on the contraceptive shot to stop periods. However I also had undiagnosed depression and when I realised the contraceptive shots and the changes to my appearance weren't making me feel any better about myself, I asked my doctor if I might have depression. I was diagnosed and put on antidepressants, and they helped me think more clearly - I was just unhappy with life in general, struggling with schoolwork and my social life, and had body image issues separate from gender. I still don't like my body, I think my chest is too big (it gets me a lot of unwanted attention) but have come to realise words like "woman" really only describe biology/anatomy, and have nothing to do with who you are as a person. I also follow the transhumanist movement, believe humans are meant to overcome our biological limits with technology, and that unlike other species we've evolved to be so much more than creatures whose sole purpose is to fuck and reproduce. So again, thanks for making such a great video!

[@TransgenderAmmosexual]

The word woman describes neurobiology. The word female describes chromosomes, gametes, genitalia, hormone profile & secondary sex characteristics. Neither gender nor biological sex are binary; they are both bimodal.

[@petunia8425]

This is SUCH an important topic. Im a sixty year old sis woman who hated everything that came with puberty. I can not think of one good thing it brought my way. All the awful attention from boys I knew and men I never wanted to know. The physical pain, the awkward changes that made clothes so uncomfortable...everything. The worst part was, I did have someone to talk to but her reaction was just...hey thats the way it is get used to it. I know this is going to help someone feel they arent alone and it doesnt have to be this way, it does get better it does get easier.

[@CharliThinks]

You're doing great with your voice! Very important conversation.

[@nataliehearse1217]

I naturally have a high testosterone level in my body when I started puberty at 9 and my doctor always pressured me into getting birth control. That didn't help and had friends tell me to become a man then. I'm 24 now and glad I wasn't pushed into making a bad decision. That's why we used have the the bearded lady in carnival shows but I'm just now one of them that don't make money from it.

[@heroblah6074]

DUDE YOUR VOICE GOT HIGHER!!!!!!!!!!! I just watched an older video and its a MASSIVE change

[@glorytoyahweh9700]

Oh wow girl. This is POWERFUL! SO POWERFUL! Everything you said in the tweets you read is everything I’ve experience and been through. God bless you. What an amazing human being, thank you so much for speaking about this. I cannot stress this enough - the world needs this conversation. Thank you 🙏

[@isobel9427]

I remember not wanting to be "fat" and also being really sad that I was growing up and would be seen differently from then on. It didn't helped that a few of my relatives would comment "She's filled out hasn't she?". Self esteem was at an aallll time low because I thought that confidence was dependent on the way people saw my physical body.

[@sophroniel]

100% agree. I was DEEPLY uncomfortable with my chest as a teenager and it's only around my mid twenties I began to feel ok. I think a lot ig that was linked to me being undiagnosed Asperger's where I had a different relationship with femininity anyway, which was exacerbated by going to an all-girls high school, where I had basically been almost exclusively friends with boys, and also the fact that I skipped a year (so was behind my class peers in age and physical development) which heightened my physical difference/age, and also that I was incredibly academic and used my intelligence as my sole self-esteem prop, so did all I could to lean into the i'M nOt LiKe OtHeR gIrLs thing. Had I been born in 2003 instead of 1993 I have no doubt I would've been caught in the wave of puberty being mislabelled as gender dysphoria cos yeah, I was a bit of a tomboy, and wasn't into some more common "girl" things. Crucially, I think that there is neither a right way nor a wrong way to be male or female. To me, the idea of being gender nb, and to more or less a degree some of the behaviours associated with transitioning gender are all reinforcing the gender binary. When people are like "I don't feel like a girl" because they enjoy dressing in men's clothes, stereotypical male interests or behaviour cues, it is not--to me--actually the same thing to physically feeling like your body is wrong, regardless of whatever you do or behave. Having known many people on all areas of the gender and sexuality spectrum, the people I have known who I suspect truly are "trans" (excluding that this is an inexcusable/problematic concept I would be flayed alive for mentioning to many people), are those folks who conveyed that they have had a bone-deep sense of "wrongness", discomfort and distress *before*, during AND after puberty. Those who are likely part of the (unproven but possible) idea of "social contagion" gender dysphoria seen most often in adolescent to young adult cis females is crucially not the same kind of lingering, pervasive level of complete discomfort with your body/gender, and I suspect it's usually masking other unaddressed thing/s which are too numerous to speculate on. I hate that if I share this kind of opinion, I'd be branded transphobic, violent, etc for not agreeing 100%, but as it stands I will always respect pronouns etc and who someone tells me they are, unreservedly, as that is basic decency, and how I want to be treated. Just because I don't think everyone who identifies as trans *is actually trans*, I think that if it's real to you, I owe you to acknowledge it's real to me too. Reality is more maliable than people think, and separating the individuals from the groups and patterns is something that needs to happen more to actually open up this kind of discourse. I am NOT a hateful person, and I'm actually very open minded.... arguably, more open minded than the general LGBTQ+ folks who now don't question the idea of "transness" cos it "harms the community". Damn, none of them must work in science, cos in my belief NOTHING is above scrutiny or question. I question myself, others and the status quo, and that includes norms adopted this decade or 2000 years ago. Shutting down this kind of curiousity of mind is just as oppressive and freedom killing as the liberal queer spaces make out the conservative right to be........ which is why I'm a positive, nihilistic anarchist and want to watch the world burn 🥳

[@roseypeach8363]

At puberty I felt like a freak of nature. My hands and feet grew out of proportion to my body. My emotions were all over the place between insecurity, jealousy, anger, laziness I didn't like who I was becoming. But these things did level out and by my Junior year I started liking myself again.

[@lauraEG95]

When i started my period I was 9. I didn't know what it was and thought I must be dying

[@katarinafortuna5]

I'm a happy straight 23 year old female. Happy with my life and my boyfriend but I have fallen in love with your videos. The way that you talk is very wise and you really seem like somebody I would want to be friends with! Super open, social and friendly :) Keep it up!

[@arielle]

BABE PREACH

[@snesne618]

Shut up bitch

[@smOVERCOMINGITALL]

I commented this once on your other posts, but from the ages of around 12-16... on the internet... (i'm 27 now) when it was relatively new to be posting your life and such on there.... we had myspace, we had tumbler, we had AIM... all of which contributed to my feelings. I would ONLY wear baggy clothes. Specifically my brothers clothes. His basket ball shorts, his huge white plain t shirts, i wanted to be in boy stuff. now, it's OKAY to be in boy stuff as a girl, but that's not the point i think we are trying to make with this convo. I wanted to play basketball, i wanted to wrestle, i wanted a skate board, dirt bikes... all of which were totally fine if i wanted to be a girl with those things but i wanted to be in them because they were traditionally boy things. I hated periods, i hide my body, i hated everything about being a girl. If i grew up just 5-10 years later i very well could have been in your situation. I can honestly say it was not society or my peers who made me feel this way. It wasn't even a man or a boy i had a crush on. It was other females and the internet culture around places like myspace and tumblr. My mother did not care if i liked blue and wanted a dirt bike or whatever, she is very much a "girls can do anything they want" type of gal, but i will say she made an effort to form me into a girl who did NOT show her body, did NOT become sexualized, did NOT "slut around" as she would say. I mean in hindsight i think she was just trying to make sure i did not end up pregnant like my two sisters before they were 18, so honestly ... it worked haha! but what it did do is make me doubt my body to the point were i would look on the internet for things like ... thinspo for example, even models, but you know the internet in the early 2000's kind haha no pros. Comparing my body to those types of girls gave me a weird outlook of ... well maybe i shouldn't do those things NOT because the point was to teach me a lesson in not getting pregnant as a teen, but because my body was not worth showing off. I am married, to a man who is lovely, he loves me and my body but i still wear baggy things. sure they are pink and "girly" now, but I still hate showing off anything. I hate that if i wear something even slightly revealing it gets extra attention (yes even from my husband). It's a real problem mentally. We constantly get into convos about why i wear sweat pants and t shirts to bed instead of cute little sleep shirts or even shorts. I say it's because it's more comfy, and sure it is... but the real struggle is mental and not physical.

[@matthewmutz9337]

That's it Elle speak to the young people, Thank you COUNSELOR... PS Great hair

[@JohannaParrishParrish_Place]

OMG Thank you! I don't know any women who was confortable with puberty..we all go from being basically the same to, were did those boobs come from, and this period shit sucks!! Im 32 and it still sucks. I totally relate and what you felt is completely normal girl / women emotions and feeling of beign uncomfortable. Why your parents couldn't relate, but especially you doctor not understanding how normal your feeling was is completely beyond my comprehension. Glad you are so comfortable and happy now! I started publerty in 5th grade when flo came ( PS after my second c-section my daughters birth I had the doc tie my tube while my hood was open per say, but she won't take my uterus even though I begged. She said she wasn't allowed even though I clearly didn't want more child and have alot of cancer issues in my family, but no.)

[@karenanna1447]

I relate to this so hard. I never identified or wanted to be male, but I hated female puberty. I tried to "bind" or compress my chest to appear more flat chested. I didn't eat right and exercised too much to try to stall the onset of my period. I saw femininity as a weakness. It wasn't until a friend of mine re-framed the period struggle as a strength instead of a weakness, that I began to change my mind. I'm not trying to glorify the pain that many women go through every month, but thinking of it as a challenge that makes me stronger helped me accept my body and grow into an adult woman. I realized that all of the shame I felt was because of other people telling me that I couldn't wear those clothes anymore or that I was inviting "the wrong kind of attention." I started rejecting feminine clothes because they invited so much critique from my own family. But now as an adult, I'm comfortable expressing my feminine side. To all the teenagers out there, I know it's hard to imagine that you will change your mind and come to love yourself. Please be patient, it gets better!

[@wutryulooknat3]

Teenage years are so hella awkward and confusing and upending. It doesn't calm down until you're like 19-20, and then suddenly life seems so much less dramatic lol. Also, your voice keeps sounding more feminine with each vid! Keep it up!!

[@erid143]

I've always gravitated towards masculine things. It started when I loved to play with boys toys and playing army with the boys in my class in grade school. Things really hit a fever pitch 11-12 years old, when I was expected to wear dresses and have my hair up for church. I HATED IT. I wished so much to be a boy so I wasn't under pressure to "be a lady". I got dragged into puberty kicking and screaming!! What added insult to injury was that I fully developed at 14, while my peers really didn't fully develop until 16-18 years old. So while my peers could still enjoy juniors clothing sizes, I was the only 8th grader with an adult woman body. It sucked, especially since I had ZERO interest in girly things. So fast forward to present, 24 years later. I'm still not into girly things, still love mens clothing and interests (would much rather have big strong muscles than the "Instagram" figure) but I'm OK with being a cis woman, even a straight married one! I'm glad back when I wished I was a boy wasn't instantly diagnosed as "transgender". In my case, it would have been a huge mistake and would have ruined a good life a I have now.

[@jacquelineoldhaver2672]

I'm a 63 year old MtF. Very happy with where I am. I also work with peer support groups. I have been concerned that in the youth groups there is an offset of FtM vs MtF participants. In these groups none are in physical transition but the social transition is interesting. We have many more FtM identified youth than MtF. The numbers should be similar so my concern is that the difference is skewed by Girls who need more time to mature. I'm a proponent of quality counseling and delaying transition to give time. In my life I have known from 5 years old the I was a girl inside and 53 years later it was still there. If I had felt male later I wouldn't have transitioned.

[@Nameless-dw5nv]

Yeah it's scary. I'm trans and happy this way but a lot of people I know definitely make me concerned.

[@serpenthroned]

my teenage years was hell. I felt completely disconnected from my body, I developed a severe eating disorder who followed me through my early 20s. I subconsciously tried to stop puberty, making my body the least developed possible, I had no period for years. luckily this "trans agenda" wasn't really known in south america at that time and by the time it got popular I had already made peace with my body and mental health. I'm glad you are making peace with yours too! good for you!

[@reallimi7497]

Hi Elle. I’ve seen a couple of your previous videos. Just wanted to say that you look really nice in this video and your voice sounds softer. Love the wavy hair! Great message... so true for us all.

[@amandachrome9310]

I am so happy for you.... enjoy your self as a woman... it's ok... love you as you are

[@jakeanthony2058]

You made a great recovery here, for knowing better even when there entire world misleads you.

[@kaninramone6365]

I've been called a 'simp', but these are reasons why I stock my house with feminine hygiene products. Many of my friends explain the extra shit they have to deal with being a young woman(ages 19-26); going through periods, the mental fucks and extra anxiety the world provides them. I just like to try and relieve some of their stress in any way possible. It's just so surprising. You'd think the golden rule of "respect others the way in which you want to be treated" would've gotten to people *of all ages* by now. I know I was taught it in kindergarten. Amazing content!

[@mr.fahrenheit347]

as a woman, i feel like i don't look female enough because i am not curvy. i feel like men and women wont be as attracted to me because im not.

[@lidahall5928]

✋ Sometimes I think puberty should be renamed to reflect the reality of it. Personally, I suspect that many adults lionise the experience due to hindsight bias. I'm hoping that I'll never turn into one of them! When I was between the ages of 11-14 I was *profoundly* unhappy and uncomfortable in my body. Puberty is _horrible_ and I've no idea how so many educated professionals can buy into the farcical notion that the baggage it dumps onto young girls can be mitigated by an adherence to what is essentially a secular religion which worships at the altar of unnecessary medical and surgical intervention.

[@mariannepaisley1946]

This is such an important video. It is so true though, that shaving conversation took me straight back to being 13. I remember feeling torn with I guess excitement of becoming "pretty" through puberty, I had low self confidence, but - then I remember being shamed because my body wasn't the "right" woman body. I had an ED at about 16/17, and part of that was that I wanted to be flatter and straighter as opposed to these curves I had been given. Only in my late teens/early twenties have I been able to enjoy and love my body, even though everyone else still thinks they have a right to an opinion on it 🤦‍♀️I have PCOS, so I am naturally hairier so I have grown to embrace the hair I have but shave WHEN I CHOOSE - but that took relearning, while that intitial conversation at 13 should have been so different

[@nitzan3782]

I'm in my mid twenties. I didn't hate my period because it meant I could have kids but isn't about to, but I hated the changing figure, I hated the secondary characteristics(except for body hair). Through my late teens and early twenties I've learned to accept my body for what it is and become more confident. Feeling alienated from your body is a natural reaction to being sexualized, fat-shamed(even if you're underweight!) and treated like a second-class person for its changes.

[@krme.mp3]

this was really interesting, and a really good way to put into words what I felt during my puberty and process of becoming an adult woman. its totaly true what you said, if you are a girl going through this, just give it time. you'll grow into your body and learn what makes you comfortable and confident. fuck the rest

[@remylamb5996]

I, as a trans guy very much agree with all you statements, growing up female and hating your changing body is, unfortunately, very common. All these girls start to hate their bodies, go on tiktok and see all these trans people being so happy with their bodies after transitioning, so they all start thinking they’re trans aswell. But being trans goes much deeper than just hating your body. It is being a dude in your head and seeing a female in the mirror. It feels VERY different from hating your body (I know this, I had an ED, hated my body and had dysphoria at the same time and I could CLEARLY distinguish these two, and yes I got help and recovered before I came out cause I wanted to make sure it wasn’t my ED talking)

[@dumpstercub2902]

Yeah I vibe with this comment a lot. I have some trauma relating to womanhood and to me it feels very different from gender dysphoria. To me, dysphoria feels less like, “I am an ugly creature, inferior to those around it, a stain in this earth for my mere existence” and more like “Damn. This is a body that works and exists and would be nice as anyone else’s (depending on how you already feel about your body however it is not the match for me. The language does not fit me nor the female identifiers or social roles.” And like yeah it causes me stress and discomfort but it feels different from the intense hatred and anxiety of genuine disgust.

[@l.landren544]

What an incredibly important video. I wish everyone would see it. I hated my body at 14, but for a slightly different reason - I felt I looked too masculine to be an acceptable, sexy woman (too tall, awkward, no breasts, no hips). I was wishing so hard that I had been born a boy, since I already looked more like one than a girl, and had been raised to think boys are allowed lots of stuff girls aren't. Anyway, I grew up, slowly but I did, and now (at 35) I am at peace with my body and living my life as a woman - without looking THAT terribly different to how I was as a teen! I'm the same height, have the same bone structures etc. Point being I didn't have to change to be ok and feel ok, but took forever to really understand it.

[@LadyBorgia]

This is DEFINITELY something that needs to be talked about. I'm a scientist and artist and think I'm going to bring this to my channel when I start uploading again! I developed early and I wasn't ready for it. I didn't want breasts yet or to have body hair. I wanted to still be a kid. I was 9 years old when the first signs of puberty started. I had horrible painful periods by eleven and just wanted them to stop. I just wanted to be a kid! I could go on, but I think I'll tell the story on my channel. I'm currently helping a family member who started puberty early and felt the same way, but she has me. (It runs in my Dad's side of the family.) It did get better and I was completely comfortable with my body later in my teens, but I needed time to get used to it. I needed time to grow into a completely DIFFERENT body! People are surprised I ever felt like that because they would say 'But YOU have the PERFECT body! People get PLASTIC SURGERY to look like you!" Well, that's all well and good, but that's adults. It didn't matter if I was the example of what everyone wanted by accident of genetics. I DIDN'T WANT IT YET. It gets better though! I promise my younger family member that she'll catch up with it and grow to love her new body. It just takes time. It definitely doesn't help when people bug you when you're young. How many of us wore baggy t-shirts over our bathing suits the first summer we had breasts? I was pretty young, but I did and I remember other girls doing it because it's a HUGE change by itself and it's uncomfortable to have other people talking about and staring at something YOU YOURSELF haven't even gotten used to yet. It DOES get A LOT better! I ❤️ my body! I'm disabled now (first part of the story in my 'Storytime' playlist), and even though it's severe, it was easier to take because I was an adult when it happened. 😊❤

[@LadyBorgia]

@@rosiebobo9196 ❤❤❤❤❤

[@alisab.4432]

Thank you for this video, it really helped me understand better why I want to transition and why i really am trans. I relate so some experiences, as most afab people do, but there's much more reasons why I want to transition beyond hating my body. Gender dysphoria really is bigger than just oh I hate my period. (1/2)

[@alisab.4432]

I came out. Then got forced back into the closet because this is what my parents told me. It's actually really good advice, but I still feel the same need to transition to be who I am and stop pretending to be who I am not. I respect all my fellow afab people who embrace their womanhood, you are so strong and do not ever change yourself for anyone else but you. Turns out I cannot do the same as its just not who I am. I tried to be a woman, feminine and masculine and sportif and artistic and all my interests were illustrating who I am, but being a woman isn't. I am a guy and I just know it. I don't relate to other girls around me, no matter their interests and personalities and beliefs, I don't feel like one of them. When I look at guy I want to be like them, one of them, not because of how easier they might be living, but because that's how I see myself and how I want to be. All the girls and/or trans people, take your time. It's okay to question yourself but take your time. You might want to change everything as fast as you can but just listen to yourself and just be who you truly are. (2/2)

[@electriceyebabe715]

As a teen in the 90’s I wore boys clothes. I never questioned my gender or sexuality, but was hyper aware of how my body was sexualized and felt shame around it. Cat calls, bra pops, boob tweaks and “accidental” feel ups started when I was 12! Grunge was big and I was able to mitigate not wearing fashionable girls clothes anymore (and didn’t comfortably wear a dress or skirt in public for 5 years) by wearing big flannels, oversized jeans and band tees size XL. I couldn’t wait to be grown and mature and comfortable with myself like the women in my life were. Now I have a teen of my own who has developed way sooner than I did, is on the spectrum, and now questioning gender. I’ve tried to explain that these feelings are common and normal, but they’re not ready to do any deep diving to figure out what it is they’re feeling, exactly. We tried a LGBTQ+ positive therapist, but they’re not being completely open and honest with the therapist. Any questions we pose as parents are being shot down as “not accepting or respecting” them, despite every show of accepting and respecting, supporting and encouraging. We feel the internet, specifically social, is doing a disservice by creating a smaller and smaller bubble around them. Algorithms are setting people up who are unaware of the media’s purpose. The pandemic is isolating kids who need community, driving them to social media. Where are the women of social who are validating these insecure and uncomfortable and depressing and dysphoric thoughts & feelings??? I would have loved that kind of support when I was a teen.

[@Doglover-gh9ut]

hearing different peoples perspective on this is very interesting. I'm 18 and a trans guy and I sorta had the opposite experience. for years I was trying to convince myself that I wasn't trans and that I was just afraid of growing up. it took me forever to fully accept being trans. I had never experienced any type of sexual harassment, I had never even been cat called. I come from a very feminist type family, gender roles were never forced on me as a kid. I remember I was baffled when at school they suggested things like cooking and cleaning being the mother's role, my dad had always been the one to do those things. I was always allowed to dress however I wanted ( I was very masculine until I started school (it was a religious school so I had to wear a dress) but at home I would still dress in a neutral/masculine way. despite this freedom I still felt extremely uncomfortable and as a young kid I remember feeling so much discomfort and I was so confused about what this feeling was. when I hit puberty this feeling became significantly worse. I tried to convince myself that I was just afraid of growing up but that wasn't it. I was actually very excited to grow up in some ways. but not the ways my body was taking me. the second I noticed my chest growing I had extreme discomfort with it. it had nothing to do with being sexualized, it was that my innate sense of myself did not have a female chest. I remember being like 11 looking in the mirror hoping to see an Adams apple. the boys my age hadn't even hit puberty yet and I was already hoping for those changes. I've been on t for awhile and I've had top surgery and now I feel so much better. that horrible feeling I felt as a kid and even worse as a teenager is gone now. I feel proud of myself and the changes my body has gone through from transitioning. I would never say that the sexualizing of young girls isn't an issue, because its a huge issue. and of course being a woman in this world has way more risks than being a man. but my transition was in no way based on society. it was based on my need to feel comfortable with myself. I heard someone say something along the lines of "if you were alone on a deserted island and you will never see anyone, would you still want to transition? would you still want to go on t and get top surgery even if you're the only person who will ever be exposed to these changes?" for me the answer was yes for all of that. if you're not sure if transitioning is right for you, ask yourself that question. only transition if its completely for yourself and not for anyone else. and to other guys out there, stop being so shitty to women.

[@ElectrologyNow]

Your videos are brilliant. The "professionals" need to learn from YOU!

[@Channel66678]

In high school I had Guys looking Up my dress with mirrors. I know all WOMEN go through this, I'm so happy you're getting this message across, it's so uncomfortable to be a girl going into puberty. Btw my brother shamed me about my hairy LEGS as well in front of my whole family. I totally agree women have felt like this Since forever, I'm 40 BTW.

[@justinemercedes1342]

Well said! You are beautiful on the inside and out. Keep growing and keep sharing.