Immigration Courts: Last Week Tonight with John Oliver (HBO)

America’s dysfunctional immigration court system forces many children to appear in court alone. That’s as ridiculous in real life as it would be on a courtroom television show.
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[@whuzzzup]

USA: Having sex with someone under 16/18: HELL NO! Drinking alcohol under 21: HELL NO! Representing yourself in court as a 4 year-old: Sure, why not.

[@TheYipee99]

whuzzzup Logic is overrated anyways

[@ahmedffh7953]

whuzzzup dude it's the greatest country in the world don't say that

[@ryanbacker4870]

USA USA USA!

[@ahmedffh7953]

Mac Mcskullface is this real??? do they actually make people under 18 not allowed to watch porn ?????? You thought I'm gonna say guns right nooo it's USA

[@edmannope7497]

whuzzzup murricaaaaaa fuck yeahhhh

[@thelogan4641]

If 3-4 year olds understand immigration law, then clearly they should be sent to university rather than to some other country

[@godofshinobi9993]

The Logan nope then the children should be made judges instead of that judge.

[@davidsouza7994]

That'd be grt if their lives weren't in danger where they originally came from. TF.

[@arturofernandez4058]

Everyone talks about that part, but what impacted me the most is HOW THE F*CK CAN A COURT NOT BE PART OF THE JUDICIARY?????!!! It's a clear violation of the separation of powers. And as far a I know this is not done in any other modern democracy.

[@spakentruth]

"that's the America I know, and I promise ya, you're gonna be confused by it"

[@mattmas32]

No. The US government doesn't want immigrants who can read or write, let alone understand the law.

[@EposVox]

I'd watch Tot Bench omg

[@rowansafley6133]

EposVox we need Tot Bench to be a real thing

[@israellai]

it's like a show that doesn't need a script but is full of twists and turns regardless

[@PaddySnuffles]

tbh I'd watch any show featuring toddlers in charge.

[@PaddySnuffles]

@@israellai Which basically sums up toddlers in a nutshell. ;D

[@marcorock101]

Especially if Archer is getting canned 😂

[@omarcarrillonavarro6916]

I’ve come back to this episode to say, WE FUCKING GOT THEM! My father and grandmother are now COMPLETELY OFFICIAL LEGAL CITIZENS OF THE US! It’s been a long 16 years, going to courts and barely getting to see my dad because of how much he and my grandmother worked for it, but I can now say happily, we’ve done it. My grandfather is probably smiling at us from up above seeing my entire family happy we did it considering we were doing it for him and my grandmother but he passed away before we could even get halfway through the process. Let me tell you all in the comments, this shit was some of the most stressful kinds of stuff I ever had to see and deal with, PLEASE if there’s any kind of law or bill that seems to be on the ballot, PLEASE I beg of you as a fellow American, HELP YOUR FELLOW MAN!

[@saranghae2808]

CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!🎉🎉🎉🎉

[@gerardosalazar527]

Felicitaciones hermano, tu familia lo logró!!!

[@familykaplan1341]

!Absolutemente!

[@familykaplan1341]

I sure will!!

[@familykaplan1341]

!Felicidades!

[@albevanhanoy]

America : "3 years old can understand immigration law and defend themselves in court." Also America : "17 years old can't argue about gun laws, it's an adult topic."

[@alfio1421]

But 18 to go to war

[@civilhand5837]

And 15 to get married in Utah

[@C_Bat]

and under 10 to get molested by a priest.

[@farah4l]

And a newborn to get circumcised

[@AndyAce83]

And brain dead to comment on youtube.

[@MrGearOfficial]

We need full season of Tot Bench.

[@ndasdsad17]

The 1000 Degree Knife vs Immigration Courts Video Is Taking A While Huh?

[@melissaspahr3810]

I would watch it. HA HA

[@aquatank23]

MrGear i would actually watch that

[@grmmth3]

MrGear you would care more about that than the injustice in this country!

[@melissaspahr3810]

You can care about injustice and realize tot court is really funny.

[@Angry5704]

I would legitimately watch a court show run by toddlers.

[@Gambit22003]

I would watch them everyday of my life until the very end! 🤣

[@islandneni1829]

Lol same they're too cute & funny

[@justbe411]

Let’s not even mention that most of these people can’t speak fluent English. Even if they were adults that could inform themselves good luck finding it in a decent translation. This is so sad to see and that these people have to go through this and be treated as criminals when they’re just trying to be safe.

[@johnmininger7472]

@jack Maher - And yet it is not illegal to present at an official port of entry for asylum as was the case of the woman whose appeal we heard in this video.

[@erichall090909]

jack Maher then can we create a clearer and easier way of immigrating legally?

[@flappy7373]

but is it sad enough for you to do anything about it? anything at all? at all? anything....? at... all?

[@libertariantranslator1929]

The courts actually use good interpreters. The hearing asks four questions. Republican politicians export policies that make those countries into fascist dictatorships, so naturally everyone without a hand in the till seeks to flee.

[@libertariantranslator1929]

Simultaneous interpreters are provided at your expense, just like in 1908.

[@MrTheAnimationshow]

I remember a segment on Fox News a couple years ago where they were also agreeing that a 3 year old is old enough to represent themselves in court. Which is great because they have also recently held the position that the Parkland students shouldn't be trying to influence gun policy with their opinions because they are just mostly 15 to 17 year olds.

[@timotyj3596]

Faux News!

[@Avrysatos]

So they're old enough to represent themselves but should never be trusted or taken seriously enough to do anything important like say... represent themselves...? Sigh.

[@voidface8827]

Why you gotta go there "Kids should stop eating tide pods lmao" *the kids plan world-wide marches to implement gun control and create awareness* "Wait no not like that"

[@q345ify]

its like that joke from family guy how Rush Limbaguh convinced Brian was a liberal by saying there was a 3 year old executed in Texas and when he expresses shock he's like "see your concern for others betrays you"

[@Jasonblade9012]

My man is back!!!!!!!

[@TacettheTerror]

"You've been doing this for 14 years, but you're 4." "Ugghh yeaaah." Too perfect. XD

[@hexaquras9374]

Tacet the Terror every job interview's requirements

[@varyag1393]

Judge Riley should be a national treasure

[@alanacrail3244]

It reminds me of when a girl around 3 or 4 told me her birthday was soon and when I asked he how old she was turning her answer was "24"

[@tiffyw92]

This here is a qualified judge, yessiree.

[@Lolly4twDasOrginal]

"You've been doing this for 14 years, but you're 4." "Ugghh yeaaah." now we know at which level the donald is operating

[@JoelErhart]

The more absurd reality gets, the more I want to laugh and cry at this channel. Hilarious, and absolutely devastating. How is this real?

[@ragalyiakos]

Im just imagining a kid who is already old enough to kinda get immigration law (about 14 and up) say the following: Judge: Would you like to designate a preferred country of removal? Kid: Yes J: And which one is that? Kid: The United States of America *kid dabs*

[@blakejeffries3365]

Ákos Ragályi I have so many friends who would 100% pull something like this

[@artierupinen9240]

And then that kid would die because nobody likes a smart ass. XD

[@Miserablecollegekid]

that's what we like to call in the legal profession, uno reverse card clause.

[@Wysewolf]

@@artierupinen9240 Not for nothing, but a smart ass of that caliber deserves to stay with us in the US. :)

[@artierupinen9240]

@@Wysewolf Yeah. Yeah, hypothetically he should.

[@tonycrash9418]

Teach a 3 or 4 year old immigration law? There truly is no hope for us.

[@gatorfan98]

If the 70-year-old in the White House doesn't understand it (he thinks people are still coming here for DACA, which is impossible), I doubt that a four-year-old will understand it, either.

[@RC-vs3hp]

I know... If only their parents wouldn't have been irresponsible and put them in that situation. We need to send illegal immigrants back with their kids. I don't want to split up families.

[@naviamerie]

did you even watch the video? this is the responsible thing to bring them here. its dangerous back home and i guess you may not be for splitting up families, but for killing children then.

[@mariamatias5801]

Brandon Hernandez they don't understand what that family is going through back in their country so it's easy for those guys to say get out and get a visa and so on but I can guarantee you that if thier families where threaten to death by some serious gang members (like in most south American countries) they would look to flee the country, I can almost guarantee you that those people saying get a visa and get out and so on would do the same as those people

[@RC-vs3hp]

So we should allow every person who says "they're going to kill me" stay? great system. Expect the number of people who say they'll be killed if they go back to their home country to go up.

[@ResidentTarantino]

*John Oliver:* "Remember, Slenderman already loves you the way you are." *That **_one_** audience member:* "Aww."

[@ex-32]

"Mr. peanut domestic violence" is now the third google autofill result for "Mr. peanut" 😂

[@artierupinen9240]

That was fast.

[@ricochet4674]

the second one is now death. because they fucking killed him off in a commercial.

[@Dalton1294]

It appeared on the bottom of my auto fill result

[@cf6755]

grdgrgr

[@caad5258]

I'm getting flash backs to "Papers Please"...

[@fredarok579]

Glory to ArzTOTzka.

[@richmondrk2]

@@fredarok579 Long live the Potato man.

[@nobodys_winds6580]

*GLORY TO COBRASTAN*

[@yukitakaoni007]

Glory to USA! Denied your immigration in this country that was founded by immigrants

[@bumble872]

DETAINED!!!

[@jasonchen4807]

*Looks at etch-a-sketch* “Holy shit that’s so good” got me 😂😂😂

[@bloodyeagleofcainhurst9295]

Jason Chen "oh we have a sketch artist, I bet she's terrible. Holy shit, that's so good."😂😂

[@FourForceUniverse]

"Will you please just tell them that I didn't burn down the hospital?" *You bunned down the hospitaa* HAHAHAHA perfect.

[@taylor3557]

That Johnny Depp reference did not age well at all

[@chrisfoley1065]

Marxism-Taylorism haha came here to say that

[@kirkjohnson2924]

Yeah...I’m sure John didn’t know...

[@chumuheha]

Neither did the Mr. Peanut one

[@BrainbusterLeckie]

@@kirkjohnson2924 Exactly, he didn't KNOW. He just believed someone who made a claim with no evidence. Something he constantly shits on others for doing. I'm a fan of John Oliver, but it's perfectly valid to criticize him for this, lol.

[@redfedalpha24]

@@BrainbusterLeckie The joke might need an apology, (even though its obvious both were abusing the other) but it has no actual bearing on the rest of the segment.

[@nahhfam7678]

That Johnny Depp one may need an apology with recent revelations.

[@mondhase5915]

Yeah, that one did NOT age well!

[@saraann23]

definitely

[@birdn4t0r7]

top ten non-offensive jokes that aged like milk

[@Krotas_DeityofConflicts]

Immediately looked for this type of comment, assoonas he said it. Certainly aged badly

[@jessicalaszlo5152]

very much so

[@mariyanafees9195]

Honestly, I love when John does pieces like this. It makes you realize just how fucked up our justice system can be, and the fact that a lot of us don't even know about this really says a lot.

[@knivesmillions2913]

You think this is fucked he hasn't even got to the legalized slavery in prisons (Which is against the 13th amendment) Or even Civil Asset forfeiture which is robbery by Cop. He also should address the Blue Shield policy which is an unwritten rule that protects ALL members of Law Enforcement from scrutiny.

[@AndrewWilson-fb8ge]

unwritten rule is just another word for crack pot conspiracy

[@alajondro]

if memory serves he did do a piece on that

[@cameron6262]

If you came here illegally then I don't have sympathy for you if you end up in immigration court

[@intelpntium]

So you believe they don't have the right to proper representation in court? Even if they are a child? Someone who had no choice about coming here?

[@ernestomarcos0103]

Sixteen year olds can't comment on gun policy but three year olds can defend themselves in court. Seems legit. (Also wtf bringing up Slenderman. All this time trying to forget about it)

[@JohnnyCrack]

Works the other way too. We need to figure out if kids are adults or not. > Some people say 17-year-olds aren't old enough to make legislation > Some say 17-year-olds aren't old enough to represent themselves in court

[@janiemcallister1845]

As John Oliver said, children shouldn’t have to worry about being murdered. That is horrifying that we have to clear that up, and that people don’t seem to understand that concept and say we are to young to understand and have a voice. They are always thinking about the children until the children think for themselves, then we are on our own.

[@aohige]

+Fae it's quite easy to understand where they stand once you realize those people in favor of deporting children to certain death do not see "foreigners" or in some cases "non-whites" as human beings.

[@jonathanwalker6512]

Just gotta stop sticking up for other because why your focus on some bullshit we keep getting fucked smh wtf has a protest some for y'all get it right. Not a fucking thing because they will never let there hang fall! Remember they will always be more powerful! Lol setups a bitch ain't no justice for us 🤣🤣🤣🖕🏽🖕🏽 we die everyday quit the shit!! Learn people learn! Smfh.

[@ray25lee]

This.

[@user-jy8zb2wc8l]

I can't believe how apathetic people are to this kind of thing happening. It's a human rights issue. Just because they are not their own citizens. It is disturbing the kind of psychopathy that the bad judges in this system must have to people's plights.

[@juliangorrido1392]

Then, useless, virtue-signaling, pieces of shit like you do nothing to improve anything.

[@the_modfied_car4903]

@@juliangorrido1392 explain your reasoning then

[@bobjones2959]

The whole point of the occupation of judge is to judge and punish people. It's not a stretch to think that it'd attract power-hungry psychos and moral grand-standers. Not saying all judges are like that of course, but the nature of the application is going to bias the sample of applicants.

[@bobjones2959]

@@juliangorrido1392 Empty buzzwords with no substance to be found. Have you even tried making an attempt at thinking or is that too difficult?

[@spooky2526]

@@the_modfied_car4903 I agree Mr Julian over here has used some strong words but if you watched the video you saw those statistics, 90% deportation rate when most places. Have less than 40%? That says quite a lot about the judge more than the system.

[@AJ-of9yw]

I'm too distracted by the fact the defendant in Totcourt was H.Jon Benjamin, the voice of Archer and Bob from bobs burgers

[@heyysimone]

I thought i recognised Bob's voice!!

[@nicovank]

4 year olds can learn law but 17 yo can't be taken seriously protesting against guns.

[@mats7492]

who is "you"..some morons on the internet isnt an entire generation...

[@ryanscottnix]

Not agreeing with their opinions about gun control is *NOT THE SAME* as not taking them seriously. When people start their debate with, "assault rifles should be banned," it's time to tune out; they're just not informed well enough on the topic to speak on it.

[@rshs5821]

Lockheed - explain how that "banning assault rifles" is a bad idea. I'll wait

[@rshs5821]

Lockheed - your only argument is that you like guns. That's it. Don't give me that bullshit about stopping a unruly government cuz that's a load of shit.

[@ryanscottnix]

@RSh s - - If you can't tell me why "banning assault rifles" is an idiotic statement, then it tells me how uninformed you are on the subject. Assault rifles are fully automatic guns... Fully automatic guns are already banned. Tyrannical governments have stripped their people of the right to carry weapons in the past, so ya, there's that. There's also the aspect of self defense, and my right to protect myself. If a bad guy with a gun wants to hurt me and my family, what would you have me protect us with? ... A knife? Also, quick question: have you seen the statistics on lives saved vs. lives taken with guns? It's pretty eye-opening.

[@PowahSlapEntertainmint]

15:56 Not gonna lie, the banana joke was fire.

[@destroyerblackdragon]

Anti humor from a 3 year old.

[@tiffyw92]

"No, it was a banana."

[@thelastcube.]

The Fuck, first animation channels, then Science channels, and now this?!?!?!? STAHP FOLLAHIN' ME!

[@ShujathHussain0]

i didn't understand what kid said in the end? what was his answer?

[@tiffyw92]

Shujath Hussain He said the banana is yellow.

[@MCDexX]

Best LWT celebrity cameo ever. Jon Benjamin + toddlers = pure entertainment

[@Mikeyprs21]

IKR but all I hear it Archer when he talks haha! waiting for him to Scream LANAAAA! 😂😂😂

[@mikotomisaka8714]

speaking as an English Teacher in Taiwan who teaches 3 year olds too, I will be the first to say, that whatever judge says they can teach immigration law to 3 year olds, must think they'll have 5 years to completely teach it to them for 5 hours a day.

[@akmal94ibrahim]

If a kid has to defend him/herself, then the only fair thing to do is to have the judge a child too.

[@shubhamnew]

You want to be deported to pizza ? Done !!

[@rileyjones9413]

NEW NO-NO

[@awsomemagic16]

“This court is now in recess!” *everybody runs to the playground*

[@dinothunder629]

wasnt that judgeboss a kid?

[@EMETRL]

or perhaps there should be a system in place that protects children from being equally liable as adults for the same actions... oh wait that already exists in pretty much every field of law other than immigration. yay

[@SaintYvesLaw]

As an attorney, this is alarming and heartbreaking. I'm going to try and do my part to help those in need. Not sure how much of a difference I can make but I will try.

[@antetarokic]

You can make a huge difference! Even just going to volunteer for a week at Dilly Detention Center would help these kids out. caraprobono.org/volunteer/

[@juliaset751]

Marie-Yves Nadine Jean-Baptiste, you have my respect.

[@LeYt0nG]

Diimaa are you a bot?

[@dallastexas8934]

Marie-Yves Nadine Jean-Baptiste if you do you will be the real mvp

[@goldfishlover147]

Few more people like you with councious; and the world would be a better place 😊

[@robjohnson2141]

Love the court room toddler skit... Bt my heart definitely goes out to those who simply wanna work and have a good life ,especially in cases where they just wanna live...

[@fravatel]

How is something like this possible in the United States? People that feel themselves empowered to uphold "the law" - even if the law is obviously insane, isn't this what Hannah Ahrendt wrote about in her great work "the banality of evil". Keep addressing this, mr. Oliver and hopefully some sane group of people can stop this nonsense from happening.

[@Kpimpmaster]

Keep dreaming pal the people who change things won’t and people who would change things can’t

[@bas_ee]

Because America is too big for its own good. Such a "super" power is way too fragile for shit like this, awful gun laws, school shootings, homeless problems, disgusting abortion laws, etc. to happen.

[@maxhydekyle2425]

Finally archer actually is in court, he's got so many things to stand trial for.

[@neonflights5951]

kyle magaro you spelled Bob from Bobs Burgers funny

[@Plex42]

You mean Coach McGuirk from Home Videos?

[@jjchilidogs1990]

Can of Vegetable from Wet Hot American Summer

[@edenjung9816]

So true. Love Archer. ;d

[@bbrbbr-on2gd]

kyle magaro Mini-mart employee from Family Guy.

[@MH-pe8wj]

Tot court is a good represetation of our entire justice system.

[@ThePanuccio]

Michael Hammer I mean the tots got a confession and a sentence.

[@Iason29]

The children's court is better actually. Because it's just as bad but at least it's more fun.

[@-Trauma.]

When you look into Cash for Kids, and you realize, that is still happening in other states, all the time you'd see differently.

[@dudleybalrog7348]

Wait, so you're saying H Jon Benjamin DID burn down a hospital?

[@supersquare]

Yeah but real court doesn't have snacks!

[@lordvoldemort8904]

I think the judges who sends them back should be held accountable if that person is harmed or killed.

[@JonSmith-yq1dw]

Lord Voldemort lol what?

[@Envy_Leviathan]

@@JonSmith-yq1dw you laugh but he has a point if you knew someone was going to be killed by sending them back to a place where they just got away from almost dying and did nothing to change that and sent them right back to that spot and not a different one you would be a accomplice at worst and a murderer at best

[@jamesleduke873]

Even the Dark Lord has standards, apparently.

[@flappy7373]

@@jamesleduke873 he's a stone cold killer, but he only kills those who deserve it. i mean, you know, according to his ultra conservative sociopolitical views. pure bloods and all that jazz. can't muddy the waters with foreign blood!

[@Lucy-fn9rj]

i want them to be charged with manslaughter but honestly the bar is so fuckin low i’d settle for a pay cut

[@asrexproductions]

I'm so glad John Oliver chose to end this segment with "Tot Bench," because I was literally in tears prior to that. #worldsocruel 😭

[@Rattrap007]

I would watch the hell out of Tot Bench. Hilariously adorable.

[@AlexanderMartinez-mk6cl]

When the girl said pizza she was actually trying to go to Italy to vote for John

[@jessetorres8738]

Oh yeah, I forgot about that.

[@Ralphfish4]

Well that was depressing

[@NobleTenz]

Ralphfish4 CHEECH

[@bg8163]

😂True

[@maxdoubt6504]

When the defendant in the skit said "Will ANYONE share their snacks with me?" I realised who the voice of Archer is...

[@TheSneezingAnouki]

Of course you can teach law to a three-year-old. Provided you wait, oh, I don't know, fifteen years.

[@MostlyNotDps]

I've tried to address this many times, including contacting ACLU and other non-profits. Maybe Last Week Tonight can get some results. I do immigration in southern California. I have many, many people come to me seeking help, but they have no money. None of the attorneys are willing to represent a client who can't pay (including my boss, who won't allow me to anymore). And, unlike the bankruptcy court (where I volunteer) and every other court, there is no self-help legal clinic for the immigration court. so these people have nothing, and no way to get help. Not only that, but the agencies who *do* have the money, and the means to help them, don't. They spend all their time lobbying and advocating, but none of it actually doing good. The backlogs and clogged courts can't be fixed. that's a symptom of the massive caseload. But the people can be helped through it. I proposed to the ACLU that they find attorneys, like me, who are willing to represent these clients for very little money, and they just cover the costs of their case. My firm charges $2,500 + court fees for, say, an asylum application. But if the ACLU called me and said "we will pay all of their court costs, lets make a fee deal" then I would do every one for significantly less. $500 or so. THAT would be a phenomenally better expense than paying some dude to scream every week on CNN because that $1,400 (court costs + fee) would actually save somebody. It would confer an actual, tangible benefit. If those numbers don't work, then lets talk about number that do. Lets talk about actually helping people, rather than screaming about how the system needs to be fixed. Of course it needs to be fixed. Of course it's broken. But, until the day it is fixed, there are people suffering. there are people suffering *right now* who need help. They don't care if the system will get fixed. They care about not being sent back to their rapists. They care about not being torn away from their families. There are lawyers out there, like me, who want to help. But we're hamstrung. Hey, John Oliver, ACLU, and all those other non-profits have the power to help. I'm just one attorney in a crappy building in Oxnard. Please help me to help these people. Or don't.

[@amandaorr4288]

Mostlynotgay join AILA and they will help

[@ireneadler4925]

did you even watch the goddamn video?

[@Nosirt]

at that point you may as well just close up immigration courts and give citizenships to anyone thats this side of the border. The problem with sound innocent and liberal and "of the suffering of people" is that you need to draw the line somewhere. What is the point of having courts that has a track record of 29% or 90%? either way, you're being biased. Not deporting anyone with the sad story isn't helping, nor is it deserving of praise. My point and absolute mistrust of people like John Oliver and Fox News is what they think is important, To John and to you probably, the problem was Atlanta's 89% rather than the discrepancy of 29% in Cali, too. If Mexico is a crime-ridden place that this many people need sections, I grentee you I could make sime case for over quater of teh qorld population.

[@AkRed-cn7eh]

😩😩

[@AkRed-cn7eh]

Can you share you contact information / email?

[@KalleNoble]

I think we should be most alarmed that Republican lawyers are saying their skills are on par to a baby's

[@Onigirli]

Lmao

[@kurtsudheim825]

Kalle Noble exactly, if a baby can do your job, why are you here being paid si much

[@KalleNoble]

I'm not going to take the time to read this because I loved the first line too much, Republicans literally wanted a pedophile to lead them earlier this year, some of them saying it was better that he was a pedophile. Like it doesn't get much lower and hypocritical than that lol

[@KalleNoble]

True, a Republican lawyer would probably only be able to say "I do not recall!"

[@keatonm100]

Because all lawyers are Republican?

[@KuueenKumi]

Re the end segment: anyone else having Amanda Show flashbacks? Also omg it's Archer.

[@Rocky123698745]

If Tot Bench was real, I would watch it every single day

[@jamesburgess2k]

Jesus, this entire episode was so damn depressing. I couldn't even bring myself to laugh at the jokes. It's crazy how we say we're one of the best countries ever, yet if you aren't a US citizen, we won't show any level of human decency to another person. We demand respect, yet we can't even show the bare minimum.

[@neonflights5951]

King Andres, yeah. Except, holy shit dude, a person entering your private personal residence is WORLDS away from someone being allowed to simply live within the US border far away from whatever they came this far for or from. Those are not the same things and should not be compared so recklessly like that

[@nishantsharma7436]

Yeah now you are getting somewhere sir... For someone outside US... Your country come across as the biggest hypocrite in the world,seriously not even kidding, take a look at the decisions made by your government from the last 5 decades.. Right from the start of Vietnam war which was none of your business to the Iraq war which again was none of your business except you know Oil... Just endless supply of hypocrisy...

[@KayleaFleming]

If you truly think that literally every other human on planet earth is out to steal your stuff, you need to see a psychologist. Paranoia is not normal.

[@jonbates2897]

King Andres Stop living in your own world of paranoia for a change. Otherwise you're just weak.

[@MrTheAnimationshow]

+King Andres. Your country spends trillions of dollars on an already over stuffed Military every year and has yet somehow convinved poeple like you that helping thoese in need is the problem.

[@sevenam9609]

Tot Bench looks acutally fun to watch 😂

[@n2011b]

Right? Especially if Archer keeps playing all of the defendants lol

[@MaxAmSax]

Or Bob. He'd be great too.

[@john-qp3wm]

Seven AM hot bench* you spelled it wrong

[@greggasiorowski4025]

MaxAmSax Fuck Bob, McGuirk or Satan even.

[@buksy]

Tot Bench is actual situation in US now... but with smarter peoples

[@TheQuashingoftheTub]

That Johhny Depp + Domestic Violence joke aged... well it aged lol

[@vaylonkenadell]

That's H. Jon Benjamin, the voice actor for Sterling Archer, Bob from Bob's Burgers, and Coach McGuirk from Home Movies!

[@TheMaddWatcher]

Vaylon Kenadell And the devil in Lucy daughter of the devil :)

[@WatcherCobalt]

You're damn right he is!

[@JelloPuddingFood]

THANK YOU! I KNEW he sounded familiar.

[@gamesmaster0459]

I knew it. I freaking knew it

[@majinxenu9267]

He's also that guy Carl from Family guy who did the impressions of Bob from Bob's Burgers ("Hi. I'm Bob from 'Bob's Burgers'.") and Archer from Archer ("Hi. I'm Archer from that show 'Archer'.").

[@GiantEagle610]

Nobody wants to uproot themselves and move to another country. People want to stay in their own country , grow old and die with friends and family and loved ones. If they flee to another country it means they really are desperate

[@deanchampion6777]

Why flee so far? Why flee from Honduras to USA, instead of another country in south/central America? Why must :Somalis come to USA, instead of some other country in Africa? And BOTH China AND South Korea are large enough and rich enough to support their own citizens -- so why should any of them EVER leave home?

[@backinorange]

why did they British colonize half the world? why did white people move to America? why!? :p

[@bookXbat]

Dean Champion youre assuming that that the ua is the only country with people who flee to it. It is not. There are tons of people who do just what you're saying and flee or just immigrate to the uk or canda or South korea etc. Each country has its own immigration laws and some have corrupt sytems for forcing people in need out quickly as well. Japan for example has a rocky relationship with brazillian immigrants similar to the usa and mexico immigrants. South korea has an entire system for helping north korean defectors assimilate to south korean life once thoroughly vetted to be sure they're not spies. Syrian refugees can be found in Turkey, Canada, the US, etc. Immigration, both legal and illegal, isnt just an american thing. Though we seem to want to believe it is. As for why so far. Sometimes these other countries force them out or dontnlet them in so they find other ways to get out. Many countries have a set number of refugees they will take. And some places are easier to get to depending on who you know or are related to

[@bajramgashi8762]

Daniel Galeano Thats basically irrelevant, he does have a point despite though, Africa will have around 4 billion people by 2070, Africa currently has just over 1 billion and the poverty there is the worst in the world, just what happens when there's 4 billion africans in Africa and when 70% will be starving, the humanitarian crisis will be absolutely immense, so what do people like u propose? "Ummm lets just send all of them to Europe cuz Britain used to colonize and shizzzz" Thats not how it works...

[@Celisar1]

Daniel Galeano History education can easily answer that. GB wanted the resources and cheap labor force. The first white people expected to find lots of gold. The first white settlers were looking for a better life. And now the answer to why people from Somalia want to come to the USA: not because they need protection but because they want a better life in a rich country. If it were about needing protection they would stay in another nearby African country. They come for economic reasons!

[@GamingOB]

I can't believe they'd sentence Archer to prison for 1 jillion years

[@sirius1696]

Bob Belcher didn't deserve this

[@thechosenone1533]

Don't do the crime of you can't do the time.

[@grammarnazi2979]

Dear Sir Oliver, I am writing a Research Paper on Illegal Immigration, and you have saved me by giving me sources to explore. I’m not pushing a religious agenda, but God bless. Sincerely, Diego

[@SebastianSeanCrow]

How are children expected to be able to understand immigration law when grown adults can't?

[@N0N0111]

Clearly a big SPONSORED agenda behind this, that has a lot corruption going on.

[@jajaxaxa]

Maybe they've noticed that most adults are morons and that there is still some hope for the kids. But yeah it is ludicrous.

[@antoinehanako3193]

What is not understandable on it, though? You get in with valid visa, or you have a problem. That's all. Same as if you don't have a ticket in a train. You can ride without it, but only until someone finds out. Is it problematic for many? Yeah, but that's how the world works. Nobody has enough resources to cater for everyone for free. YET.

[@wolfwoodphreak]

Antoine Hanako you do realize the average 4 year old cant even feed or bathe themselves reliably don't you?

[@jajaxaxa]

Antoine Hanako Obviously you need a valid visa, but in many cases these kids aren't making any decisions to migrate or seek asylum. If you find a frightened and lost 4 year old alone on the train and they don't have a ticket you don't just kick them out at the next station and wish them good fortune do you? I hope not.

- You've been charged with possession of marijuana with intent to distribute, how do you plead ? - ...Koala.

[@CollinMcLean]

I would watch that show if it existed.

[@JoyfulJasperJamesCalmClaire]

Will the koala write a letter to the judge?

[@72marshflower15]

Trucs en Série ...funny, but life's become so depressing in the US that we joke and find pleasure in the most batshit crazy forms of escapism... war on weed is just a proxy war by conservatives against liberals... by fixed thinkers against free thinkers... the founders surely must have dabbed... 🤗😆😊

[@LordCommissarDrac]

That Ken Burns documentary on the vietnam war is actually really good and brings up a lot of things about the vietnam war that people have seemed to forget. I've already binged it twice.

[@AbuBased731]

10:53 lol that didn't age well

[@ColoringKaria]

it is insane that a judge tried to say that 3 year olds can totally defend themselves in court. I dont think its by mistake. remember all the talk of terror babies. this is on purpose. they can barely handle going to the potty. By the way Tot court was really cute.

[@nhagan001]

Nah. you can blame this on Trump. Immigrants are bad. Albert Einstein could be at our border with the cure to cancer, but we wouldn't give a damn because MURICA FIRST.

[@michaelzellman2150]

that judge taught my 5 year old theoretical physicsi too, shes on track to finish her doctoral thesis next week..now if only she could learn multiplkashun :)

[@MauroTamm]

He also told it takes time. Like 15 years give or take.

[@cookiebandit18]

Fuck dude. If you take a glass of water in a skinny glass and pour it into a fat glass, then the kid will think there's magically less water.

[@nikhilkasabe6862]

ColoringKaria I

[@vahidmirkhani]

Constantino Morales case broke my heart. A man of law.....

[@fluidthought42]

Fourty Four Non sequitur. I'm not speaking Mexican, if you were wondering.

[@maraiilavan7012]

Just a btw, Johnny Depp has recordings of his wife talking about abusing him, so hopefully now that the case is pretty much closed, we don’t have to blame the victim anymore.

[@far2ez539]

Doesn't jive with Oliver's agenda to admit that a woman is capable of flaws. Sorry. Check his video some time on the "Wage Gap" if you want to see real quality sexism.

[@Samer911]

@@far2ez539 The "Wage Gap" does not exist and has been debunkt dozens off times.

[@rohitr9400]

Well, if he has those recordings they def didn't work in the English courts.

[@stevencampbell7394]

Incel waiting room here

[@rohitr9400]

@@Samer911 , proof?

[@gloomyblackfur399]

In law school, when I first learned about "Article II Courts" I was appalled that lawyers were actually calling them "courts". If it's not independent, it's not a court. It's a charade.

[@Mr6Sinner]

Archer S9E1: Sterling goes to Tot Bench

[@Kingatje]

I had to scroll far too low for this comment! A thumbsup for you sir!

[@DangerousUrNot]

Is that the real voice actor? I thought his voice sounded familiar haha

[@OnionChoppingNinja]

I never thought I'd see the day that Sterling Archer gets judged by a 4 year old.

[@simbaonsteroids8836]

DangerousUrNot yeah that’s H John Benjamin

[@SuperJJAlexander]

I thought the voice sounded familiar. Thanks for reminding me.

[@recombinantgestalt]

As a minor I had to appear for curfew violation and the Judge both did not allow my mother, a Legal Assistant, to so much as speak to me nor would he explain any terminology he used or give any context. I can't fathom how minors are given no support whatsoever to argue their case especially for deportation.

[@PorQpine215]

Well, you see, children aren't people yet, so you can't explain things like this to them because it will affect their development I'm pretty sure.

[@Cazy243]

PorQpine 215 Just to be sure... That's sarcasm, right?

[@maythesciencebewithyou]

How can that even be lega? The US sucks. Not because it is ruled by deplorables, but because deplorables are everywhere who want this.

[@MyChemRomance]

PorQpine 215 The only time they consider children as humans is when they're still in the womb. After that, they're just lazy bums mooching off the system.

[@wilddogspam]

May the Science be with You It happens in many places: Because it's a civil court, many of the constitutional guarantees for fair trials are substantially weekend. Then, in the case of the curfew violation, they're trying to decide what's "best" for the minor, so they don't actually need to defend themselves from being "helped". It happens all the time because of some fucked up paternalism. Basically, stfu, daddy the state know best.

[@QazwerDave]

TOT BENCH ! Haven't laughed that hard in a long time !!

[@MCPunk55]

"I want to be deported to Pizza". Alright! I want to adopt that girl.

[@samgopnik6638]

15:56 For anyone doesn't understand the kid here's the subtitle Kid : What is the different between a banana and a cow. Man : What is the different between banana and a cow? I don't know. What? Kid : Banana is yellow

[@TheLe016]

Arif Aiman Wow. Just wow.

[@michaeld.rodgers9947]

He’s not wrong.

[@tonikross2725]

damn how long you have being an interpreter?

[@spock7945]

+Toni Kross, to be honest i rewound and re-played it twice after hearing the elder/man repeat the question and did get what the kid said (that a banana is yaeyooh) *nonetheless, thanks to Arif bhai for posting it here!*

[@3p1cand3rs0n]

Nonsense! I went up against numerous three-year-olds in mock trials during law school, and they are vicious. Don't let little "pizza" girl fool you. She is chief counsel for American Girl.

[@Barzins1]

ElyssaAnderson 😂😂🤣🤣

[@NaohMkS]

You made my day

[@fatpatMC]

haha well done good form

[@AshleyS.]

ElyssaAnderson lmfao

[@wahpanda1520]

little cheese pizza girl :

[@richardsimon4135]

Can't wait for February. You're America's voice of reason, Johnny.

[@Anvilman]

Proverbs 29:7 The righteous person cares for the legal rights of the poor; the wicked does not understand such knowledge.

[@mikeaft3585]

YoU DOn'T HaVE tO TakE THe BibLe SO LitEralLy!

[@flappy7373]

is that really in there?

[@socrattt]

@@flappy7373 Yeah, that quotation is really in the Bible. See here: www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Proverbs+29%3A7&version=NIV

[@andrewharper1609]

The righteous person doesn't bring Bible quotes to a legal battle.

[@Anvilman]

@@andrewharper1609 The Trump administration already lost the legal battle lol, there's no reason to make a legal argument. I simply couldn't think of a better way of trying to get my point across to the sort of people who vote for Trump. Also, this post is over a year old .

[@ChrisAwake]

TOT BENCH!

[@AndrewWilson-fb8ge]

thot bench?

[@umbreongaming8001]

ChrisAwake TOT BENCH for life

[@Ektrix]

hell yeah!

[@MonDBlancBranford]

i call my lap the thot bench

[@chintex_]

yes pls

[@Ace_Maus]

I'm from Honduras, and I can attest to the fact that 70% of people in our country live situations like the one Elena was. Many of us try to leave legally, but can rarely find any opportunities. When I graduated from High School, I applied to college, and I could only go if I had a lot of money. No I have been 3 years applying to Master's Degrees and jobs, for which I know I qualify, but I need money to go study or my job applications are completely ignored. And I can only think, my dad didn't sacrifice his own living and comfort to pay for the best education I could have here and to pay for me to learn 5 languages so I had more chances to leave, just for me to end up stuck in a country where we can only go from home straight to work then back for the fear of being killed while earning almost minimum wage here.

[@EG36]

Debz Baumaus ✊🏽✊🏽

[@lordythegreat88]

damn man 5 languages.. apply to work as a diplomat in an embassy haha

[@Crazy-Chicken-Media]

So fix your country, if enough people get together you can change some shit. Running away from your problems will never work.

[@HiMr9]

Cool story bro. /s

[@dildoschwaggins6236]

Vinny yeah right get off fucking KZbin and do something. Easy for us to say but the point is valid

[@LordTrayus]

When that little girl was ask where she was born, I think she was trying to say "It was Mommy in church." LOL

[@gurglequeen433]

The very first reference was about Bob Murrey and I live for it.

[@austinblessing2013]

Ok, I am currently in law school. If a TWENTY-THREE year old (me) struggles to learn complex legal concepts then certainly a THREE year old would!!! There is a reason you need a bachelors degree and an admissions test to even be considered to enter law school...

[@charlottem.1477]

Austin Blessing I read your comment before the corresponding part of the video played, so I was very confused. Then to my amazement that idiot said he has taught immigration law to 3&4 year olds... I can’t... I just, I mean……What?!?!

[@MonicaG_]

Baron Von Grijffenbourg it's not that difficult to understand really. The U.S. government hates people like my family and my Abuelita (grandmother) in particular. It's demoralizing but most of us have known it all our lives. 😒😓😢😡

[@destructorinator]

Oh please its not that difficult, you just have to review any case that might have any possible connection to yours, interview everyone involved is said cases (graverobbing is permissable) then have an encyclopedic knowledge of all cases. Then you can get started on trial prep.

[@IstNurMeineMeinung]

plaatsvervangende schaamte? It's "Fremdscham" in German, you know, because of the stereotypical efficiency.

[@MedjayofDeath]

Empathy in a basic sense

[@7supergirl]

I'm 97% sure the arsonist on "Tot Bench" is the voice of Bob in Bob's Burgers and I'm living for it. Also, it's awful that children have to represent themselves in court and even more disgusting that some people genuinely believe that 3-4-year-olds have the capacity to defend themselves in court. Some people are just completely devoid of compassion, and Jack H. Weil is one of those people.

[@thehoove100]

You are correct, that would be H Jon Benjamin. I recognised him from Archer.

[@vaevictus4637]

I would unironically watch Tot Bench.

[@voidofmisery4810]

John Oliver, it is because of these videos, now that I am going to be going for my master's in social work, that I am going to commit myself to working in the field with immigrants. I know i'm just a random comment, but I am deeply happy that I have found this. LOVE

[@MkWii17]

I can't believe there are people who actually think a three year old can understand any form of law. Let alone a poor child who is already under stress from the immigration process and from potential turmoil in their native country

[@maythesciencebewithyou]

They clearly don't. They just want to get rid of those three year olds. Imagine they grow up and start "stealing" jobs, or god forbid manage to build a better life for themselfes than the deplorables have.

[@PramitChatterjee1993]

"What's the difference b/w a cow and a banana?" "A banana's yellow" Word!

[@bighawn2319]

Pramit Chatterjee whats the difference between an orange?

[@Carewolf]

It's orange?

[@barrocaspaula]

Smart kid!

[@hamzaktk18]

Took me a jillion years to get it.

[@KevinP32270]

Pramit Chatterjee LOLOL

[@TheGozeraye]

I hope other people noticed that Elmo's license plate said "Tickle This"

[@MrMelkor98]

Is that H. Jon Benjamin the voice actor of Sterling Archer in Tot Bench?

[@dontspikemydrink9382]

Yes

[@kebzero]

I think anyone who are okay with children representing themselves in court should have all their court cases and minor offenses brought up in Tot Bench. That parking fine won't be something you shrug at when they deport you to Pizza for it, with no possibility of supper before bedtime.

[@aeis1056]

kebzero Would be better if everyone 4 and under who had to go to court and represent themselves went to tot bench. That way it would be a fair trial. Also hilarious.

[@vgamesx1]

I don't know about fair, little kids can be mean too you know...

[@cjbette7]

tot bench was awesome 😄😄😄😄😄

[@capriphonix8863]

cjbette7 I was dying of laughter😂

[@Canada1994]

Why do I have a feeling that it was Louise who burned down the hospital and Bob took the fall to protect her. Also Slenderman is my favourite Creepypasta so I loved the Slenderman joke there.

[@kristinemunholland8980]

OMG the attorney who came up w/those videos is amazing. I can't believe she didn't go viral....

[@user-cv3fu6xv5c]

Is it mostly upbringing that causes a lack of compassion and empathy in people? (It’s baffling that some people can’t even imagine what it’d be like to be born in different situations and what they’d have to go through just to live).

[@AndrewWilson-fb8ge]

yea asking people in their country to fix their government and economy like the people in America decades and hundreds of years ago did is an obvious display of American privilege

[@camelopardalis84]

Not trying to be a prick here and mixing up different issues that don't have to do with one another, but it might sound like it: In the US corporal punishments ("disciplining" childring with the aid of belts and such) and throwing "misbehaving" teenagers out before they can earn a living wage seem to be WAY more common and accepted as normal in the US than in other countries. And it's not just the US. In South Korea you are as a parent allowed to beat your children half to death and there are many South Koreans with no compassion at all for North Korean defectors. I see a connection there.

[@asdfasdf154]

Fiddlesticks The problem is that everyone sympathizes with them. BUT we can't take care of everyone. Or jeopardize a system that keeps things in order. You really have to be a realist. We have, just like any other country, a immigration policy in first place. I really hate when people (not you) say that USA is heartless or Republicans are heartless because they don't want to help other people. They are living in a fantasy world.

[@Henk14789]

They show some horrible examples, and putting children in front of a judge on their own is just unbelievable. And even the cases where they say horrible things have happened, what proof is shown there? Because I bet most immigrants, be it genuine or economic put up a story like that. So you can imagine the judges taking that as bullshit.

[@YumLemmingKebabs]

asdf asdf Except this isn't about protecting systems that keep things in order. It's about protecting systems that keep a certain group in power. It's the same bullshit we've seen in basically every regime ever, Nero's Rome had Christians, USSR and China had intellectuals, free thinkers, and capitalists. Nazi Germany had Jews, Roma, Homosexuals, and various others, the Taliban had westerners and people who didn't subscribe to their specific form of Islam. Even if we really couldn't afford to let people stay in our country and work because that apparently somehow costs more than imprisoning and deporting them it wouldn't change the fact that the reason why politicians in the party of big business are doing this is because they need a scapegoat to take the sins of their corporate masters while they continue to enrich themselves at our expense.

[@ggnoxious2533]

*C H E E C H*

[@a_void]

Cheech Republic

[@spencerleach3752]

Pizza!

[@alexjoseph1306]

That Johnny Depp joke @10:53 hits different now.

[@cmarq817]

Please John do this every day!!! We need you! A weekly show is not enough!

[@diginaderose9618]

Seriously teaching 3 year olds and 4 year olds Immigration laws ?That Immigration Judge thinks the kids could represent themselves in court. Are u kidding??I mean come on...seeing those cute kids speak should have rung bells in his thick head. ...Sad.😣

[@Splucked]

Lawyer? No. Much worse. He was an Assistant Chief Immigration Judge.

[@yaceya]

He told "it will take a lot of time, but it is possible". If by "a lot of time" he meant 10-20 years he would be factually correct.

[@marving.8868]

I mean if 3 year olds can do it nobody needs him... Should be replaced by a 3 year old

[@aaronmolly4332]

They should make the kid he, "taught" to represent him in a case. Lol

[@diginaderose9618]

Spluck It Ya my bad.He indeed was an Asst.Chief Immigration Judge.Thank u for correcting me buddy.

[@monkeyking9863]

how is it legal to have a court system that is not under the judicial branch?

[@williestyle35]

There are actually several small courts in the government that are separate from the Judicial system. "Immigration court" just happens to handle the most cases.

[@limbobilbo8743]

"what country do you suggest being deported to" "the united states" "bro..." -gaming the system with me limboBilbo

[@taylorwiseman8078]

16:14 Can this please be real, I need it. It's better than the puppy bowl.

[@ZenPaladin]

Anyone who says a 2 to 3 year old is ok to represent themselves either is not a parent or is a lawyer...

[@scaper8]

I'd argue not even a human.

[@scaper8]

So, yeah, a lawyer.

[@roguecactus7]

And some lawyers become judges and so on and so forth. Just a little boys’ club and the reason our justice system is broken. If you see something wrong, sue it. Fucking babies. 😀👍

[@lukas.caldwell]

They aren’t citizens therefore don’t deserve a lawyer

[@lukas.caldwell]

radio tech genius

[@brocksamson3282]

Man, I was getting so depressed watching this. Thanks, Jon Benjamin for cheering me up at the end.

[@MyChemRomance]

Me too! I couldn't even find myself able to laugh until Jon Benjamin showed up. It really was a disheartening episode.

[@WhitexShark92]

Having Archer in a court which is run by children is hilarious

[@YiPeaches]

That Tot Bench segment just looks like an episode of Odd Squad, which is an excellent show and everyone should watch it

[@MythicalRedFox]

I love how "law and order" Republicans seem to have no quarrels with kangaroo courts like this, and don't seem to care how much asylum law is trampled on.

[@aaronsorensen536]

If you talk to these people, you will quickly realize that due process is not an important part of their 'law and order' society.

[@Justanotherconsumer]

“Law and order” is a dog whistle for racism, it doesn’t have anything related to law or order.

[@bigshow771]

To a Republican, "law and order" means that a wealthy white person did nothing wrong...everyone else is fucked.

[@angolin9352]

It's because most diehard Republicans don't care about the rule of law, they care about authority. By demanding that the rule of law be followed, you're disrespecting authority and are thus a Bad Person. Once you're a Bad Person, anything can be done to you and it's not a problem to them.

[@jwonz2054]

Holy echo chamber in these comments! First, non-citizens do not have legal representation rights. (Perhaps they should, but that would be taxing to a country they do not belong to) Second, asylum laws do not open a country to free immigration. If someone fleeing danger has other options, they should explore those before being granted US citizenship. For example, 12:11, she did not consider other cities (or other neighboring countries for that matter).

[@booknerdjebbi5037]

"Do you know...... mdhs damja.... diffewence between banana and a cow?" "What is the difference between a banana and a cow?" "Banana..... damjaba.... YELLOW!" I'M DYING 😂😂

[@madeleinesutherland1623]

OK, so I've been telling my freshmen chemistry students that you can teach anyone anything, but now I'm thinking I should amend my prior statement, or at least append "but also little children should never have to learn immigration law!!!!"

[@bilindalaw-morley161]

Started binging these to have a few chuckles. Venezuela, Prosecutors, Rehab, "and now this".... Wasn't quite what i had in mind. Yes i am more informed, in a nightmare way, but there haven't been that many laughs. That there were ANY laughs is due to the comedic talents of John n his team. Thanks heaps for the upload, it's fantastic to have these longer sessions to view. This is my favourite you tube channel. Genuinely funny, genuinely informative. The research is presented very adeptly and in great detail, but there's no patronizing of rhe viewers. Comic bits are a bonus, but they never detract from the reports. Thanks again for making it possiblle for a poor, Oliver deprived, Australian to see stories out to the conclusions Much appreciated

[@laurenescarcha3246]

"What's the difference between a banana and a cow?" "Banana is lellow"