INFJ, THIS IS WHY THEY PUT YOU DOWN

[@Wenzes]

Have you ever felt stuck in a negative emotion because of someone else's judgment of you and your actions?

[@kathieramos4905]

For way too long, I’ve done just the opposite. It’s never occurred to me to just listen to people objectively, that’s such a new concept for me. I’ve always defended my self right from the get go, it’s so weird. If I’m late getting home no matter what it is, I feel so guilty and have to defend my self and explain so they don’t think I was up to no good (how sad, I’ve been doing this for 60yrs). Now I stay quiet and listen to what ever someone says something and think…is that true? Do I own that, am I responsible etc. I’ve been a victim of projection for so long only to realize it was the other persons issue NOT mine! In other words I always assumed it was my fault, never the other way around. Crazy making at its finest! 🙃

[@sagebay2803]

​@@kathieramos4905same! I'm 61! Txs for sharing!

[@aneber1811]

Yes. My husband is an ISTJ. He is very very uncomfortable with my emotions and judges them almost daily as unnecessary or wrong. I feel unable to function.

[@braxtonmills1235]

@@aneber1811 Tell him that since the vast majority of population has emotions he is the odd one out. If he doesn't understand the majority his loss. Doesn't he watch TV see families emotions interactions how can his way of thinking be correct if the majority doesn't follow it. If he doesn't understand emotions then ask him why his way is more intelligent then your way when it's proven EQ leads to gains in income feelings of satisfaction and happiness.

[@braxtonmills1235]

@@aneber1811 Also maybe he is ESTJ not ISTJ since ISTJ are usually much better at emotions then ESTJ.

[@RobertLloyd-c7p]

Try and avoid negative and toxic people. Their goal is to bring you down to their level of misery with their talk. Generally, I don't pay that much attention to what people say anyway. Focus on yourself, be positive, workout, eat healthy, get plenty of sleep, meditate etc...... Be around positive people.

[@Violet_Odorata]

Where to find positive people?

[@angepack1]

@@Violet_OdorataI’ve found that working or volunteering with young adults and youth is a very positive experience. They tend to be much more hopeful! Also, I am from United States but work with many international students and they are super positive!!

[@Violet_Odorata]

@@angepack1 Ahh, good for you! The youth is where the vigor of life is at its fullest indeed. :)

[@mariaharias]

This topic has been a big lesson for me because as INFJs we take on too much. I recently got some advice that’s been super helpful to me - about what to do when someone says a negative comment to you. 1) Pretend you’re shielded by a layer of jello, where other people’s negative vibes and comments get stuck. 2) Their vibes and comments stay stuck in the jello, giving you time and space to ask 2 questions: Is it true or not? Is this really about me or is it about them? If it’s not true and it’s about them. Move on immediately, and don’t waste your time reacting.

[@hoodedhippie]

Emotional regulation and boundaries will be the single most powerful tools I’ve ever learned as an infj

[@UnexpectedAmy]

Was on a shared path yesterday, walking on the left. Person blocked my way walking back on the right. I said, "you're supposed to walk on the left," he said "no, you're wrong, you're wrong." I showed him the path rules on the sign, in bold capital letters WALK ON THE LEFT. When I showed him this he still said "You're wrong, you're wrong." Sometimes we just have to accept people as Dunning-Kreuger master certificate holders and go about out own life, difficult as it may be to conceieve of others' desperate ego protection that puts them outside of reality. Just be glad you're not that way, and celebrate being you!

[@braxtonmills1235]

@@UnexpectedAmy Some people you show them the facts they still don't believe.

[@vincentkretzschmar4988]

If your an INFJ they probably know your kind-hearted and are trying to take a chance and push their luck a bit

[@MisterSubtleMasterSean]

*She's been on 🔥🔥🔥 lately with these recent videos. This is GOLD. Thank you for sharing this with us.*

[@braxtonmills1235]

Go WENZES AND INFJs. Great message awesome advice.

[@erniefrates1376]

Thank you! I'm 46 years old and only recently discovered I'm infj; it's been a whirlwind. Thank you for your channel, and the information you share; it's been insightful. ✌️

[@sagebay2803]

Wow, how timely. I have realized that I need to meditate every day. It has been a game changer for me b/c it helps ground my. I tend to overthink EVERYTHING and meditation helps me look at my thoughts and ask myself why I am bothered. So glad you talked about this. Love your videos. Thanks so much.

[@braxtonmills1235]

@@sagebay2803 Productivity boosts from meditation.

[@royal_lotus8834]

This so true I have bin doing this lately and it really works. If you can't look at yourself, You'll can't look at others. and If people don't change you need to change! 100% your responsibilty

[@Iosthought]

Listening to you describe exactly how I am feeling time and time again never ceases to amaze me. You are always spot on!

[@Datsail]

It sounds like a good way of learning about yourself too. I'll try it. I think its always best practice to pause before reacting if you can.

[@BestBFam]

You really help me so much. One example is in your one video when you explained that our potential isn’t other people’s potential. It has helped me be less frustrated with a friend of mine.

[@daveboise_2222]

I just started therapy for this very reason. To address a tight feeling in my chest that always comes up from a certain relationship situation. You made me realize I'm on the right path. And yes, I think staying with the emotion is the only way to work through it. Thank you, so wise.

[@INFJ_BigBangGD]

Wow... yet again. I may as well be a broken record. CHILLS.... spot on. Spot on 🔥👏

[@braxtonmills1235]

@@INFJ_BigBangGD hey you ;) I are your a fan of the Queen INFJ leader Wenzes.

[@INFJ_BigBangGD]

@@braxtonmills1235 haha totally. She's fantastic.

[@Natalie-lf7hb]

I do like to reflect on it if i can learn from it. And if it is true, or merely projection or misconception by another. But i hear you and my worry is not merely for my own well being but sometimes i use my adressing an issue as an example to point out a topic of importance. If it is being received is up to the individual i felt an impuls to send it to. If not recognized, it is ok.

[@evbemma33]

I discovered im triggerd by words "you are too sensitive" (which my mother was telling durinng my chilhood) and by bitchiness in communication at work from manager or cooworkers (maybe is is also connected with my mother and her nasty comments mosty negative or some critics)

[@BeStillandKnow0000]

it's also about them wanting to feel powerful and above you. people play a lot of games with themselves, not everything is as personal as it feels to us.

[@joshuastanbery7680]

Just before watching this video, I saw a short of in which Wenzes describes a difference in her opinion between INFJ and INFP; INFP will be more upset when you discount their competence, INFJ when you discount their morality. I am INTJ, but I have always hated if a person discounts my competency. Perhaps I am projecting, bc I often find myself judging the competency of others, and correcting myself as a means to be more understanding others. I think this is a function of Te. Interestingly, I've always been more secure in my morality, and if someone looks down on me for that I kind of just brush it off. Today I had a "triggered" moment when someone said something in a context that made me question, " were they questioning my competency?" and I let it bother me way too much. I know why; if I take an honest look from outside in, there are things that I could be doing differently to be more competent, and I've known for a while that I could push myself better in this sense. So it was a soft spot for me. Rather than be upset, I should accept the challenge to my primacy, and face the feelings I had over the comment. The only way to do so, is to face myself, and increase my abilities through actionable steps, rather than excuse myself bc of external difficulties. TY to Wenzes for this video, it came at a good time for me!

[@SupaMac1002]

I had to learn alot of times its deeper than everyday reality & what you do. It could also be astrological & the energies affecting your life & their lives at the moment that could manipulate the interactions. Ive lead with an open heart the last 18 years of my life & experienced being shattered in every way, to grow, but I didn't think I needed to grow mature in that way because I naturally did what I was supposed to do being authentically myself & went against the matrix of how I should've been in a bad way

[@braxtonmills1235]

@@SupaMac1002 We are here. Your not alone. Defend your energy.

[@joyleencamiellegreene]

So much wisdom in this idea. Staying in an emotion ❤

[@ocho8172]

Thank you, Wenzes!

[@rosezaz6607]

I love the idea/tool of stay meditation. Thank you, Wenzes. I will add it to my tool kit along with EFT, etc.

[@KurisHowa]

this video format suits me a lot

[@super-intelligentastrology3572]

Yes all across the board. So many areas. ... And yes! opportunity!

[@airam-sj2172]

Thank you so much for this advice, Wenzes. I am finally learning to accept that it's fine if other people misunderstand your intentions or your honesty.

[@braxtonmills1235]

@@airam-sj2172 Good I agree.

[@zenmama365]

Your videos are always helpful.

[@HypnosisforHealing]

I also like the RAIN meditation developed by Tara Brach: recognize allow investigate nurture. Has definitely helped me process emotions as someone who tends to push them down.

[@ocho8172]

Fascinating. Your take on conciously retaining a feeling for transformational purposes is an interesting tool I will try!

[@susantaylor147]

This helps...thanks for sharing 👌👏👏😀❤️

[@hansanipelpola7621]

Thank you for the video 🙏

[@emmr2739]

Incredibly helpful. Certainly worth a try.

[@RenitaHildar]

awesome!!

[@alexadellastella5247]

Amazing! thanks

[@Boxers769]

I was criticized by a brand new employee that im very knowledgable and less info is more. Mind you i have 7years experience at this agency and my job is to provide on the job mentoring and literally give info straight from our SOPs

[@kevinyarusso326]

Interesting video. Sometimes people/person just wants to get rid of you. I am not too worried about being thought of as a bad person. Don’t have much control of the given narrative. From what I have experienced over many years, they don’t want to work with me and it becomes silly and leaves you open to harm when you stay where you are not valued. It’s sad, it was a huge opportunity and was so grateful until it became blatantly disrespectful and not even truthful. I don’t believe in explaining intentions, the world and myself judges on actions and not intentions. Have made efforts to repair and they were not well received. Constructive criticism is great, however if most everything that is said to you is negative it’s not constructive it just ripping on your life. As far as I know the goal is to get rid of me, I am no longer fighting to be where I am not respected. So I’ve heard.

[@SuperImnot18]

This is a very nice comment.

[@CarlMassop]

Thanks for sharing

[@vivianebuelens9512]

Yeah well I am done! 1:28

[@Sarabasim2002]

Wenzes please talk about INFJ defaults of everything, defaults state of thinking, feelings and how to change it and shift our identity to new powerful one that is in our vision , I always try to change my identity but unfortunately under stress and under self doubt my old weak wounded childish identity which feels everyone is against her resurface , this is so overwhelming during the day

[@maybee...]

I have been lied about by a co-worker who was trying to cover up for her shenanigans. She was caught in a lie by two other dept heads which gave me a reprieve. Her lying continued involving one of my neighbors who confronted me, I was taken aback as I have no reason nor would I talk about this neighbor, the neighbor laid into me believing what this person said, I have no idea what the lie was about, not defending myself, all I can do is trust that God knows my truth.

[@braxtonmills1235]

@@maybee... Attack time.

[@ZacharyPlayford]

read the forbidden book Magnetic Aura on Borlest, and you'll see the secrets they're keeping from us.

[@djackman4229]

Maybe its solely an Australian or Western thing but many have drunk the "warrior" kool aid - that is their value system, admiring strengh above all else and the infj value system that puts morality above it is 1. A source of contenpt to them, 2. A threat, somewhere in their tiny hearts they realise they could be humiliated if expised, 3. An opportunity to put a high value target down publicly..

[@chloestokes2603]

Wenzes, i'm interested why it is usually INFP(etc) that you find takes you the wrong way and in turn triggers you? I've had the same experience as an INFJ but didn't realise others did too.

[@aekorfker]

I think it might be that there is a really strong connection intuitively, but at the same time being very different in terms of cognitive functions. Learning about those differences has made those relationships (even) better for me.

[@LEONLOVESMUSIC]

Okay one sec, one thing I wanna say. You two r gorgeous .

[@braxtonmills1235]

@@chloestokes2603 well because INFP are adorable cuties who talk abstract. And sometimes the INFJ won't understand what they are getting at. But it's okay because y'all are smart intelligent and deep also.

[@francielydearaujo34]

My life is on Wenzes videos…😅

[@braxtonmills1235]

@@francielydearaujo34 Hey she is amazing for sure.

[@realizationstation2173]

Thank you so much for your expression and sharing the Stay Meditation! I am so excited to apply this! Much love always

[@maximinoblas1171]

Good evening 🙏 ✨️ ☺️ infj😂 Yippee

[@mirzohidbek_oxford]

I'd really appreciate it if you could give examples to put your words into perspective.

[@braxtonmills1235]

@@mirzohidbek_oxford She does in the using conflict as a learning lesson.

[@孫愛美]

finally

[@braxtonmills1235]

Amazing OPPORTUNITY Objectively looking at the situation I love it :):):):):):):):).

[@ranc1977]

"We are not able to make objective conscious decision about certain information if we have that internal feeling." I learned hard way through 4 year long analysis that this unknown ugly feeling is called Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria. It is basically social anxiety but RSD is super laser sharp that defines it well. RSD is common in ADHD where people were exposed to criticism since childhood - constant corrections and nitpicking "errors" - and this can apply to INFJ since most people (aka neurotypicals, herd mentality, group think) will criticize our way of thinking and behaving since early childhood , constantly putting labels and shame on the way how we operate and process people events and life.

[@Jguthro]

Use it for what when nothing is working?

[@braxtonmills1235]

@@Jguthro 20% you can't win with. Call them Reds and skip over them.

[@ellarataj6590]

💚

[@FanTasteRPG]

There is such a thing as corrupt people. For ~80% of people you interact with, you are spot on, but that remainder are people that are not ok the way they are. It is not necessarily ourselves we look into, people DO hold people back intentionally and it can be VERY hard to "escape" (trigger word for anti victim mentality individuals). Just look at slavery, sex trafficking, terrorism, kidnapping, murder. Those things ARE real and I refuse to ignore that reality, stop ignoring that.

[@braxtonmills1235]

Thankfully it's I think 20% are corrupt. Then we have people who can shift either way and then we have deep feeling people. I agree though only a small percent will fight for what's right.

[@FanTasteRPG]

@@braxtonmills1235 I need to clarify that I said "that we interact with" so there is potentially more than 20% of them but in society that we deal with there are probably only about 20% and the remaining 80% are the rest of us.

[@FanTasteRPG]

I'm talking about people like police and gang members and stalkers, the people that we don't interact with are people like government military and corporations in general. Those are the remaining 80% of them, there is 100% of us and 100% of them, but it's skewed on an 80-20 % ratio in order to confuse the masses.

[@BamBusinessman]

How is it possible to have such Beautiful Eyes. One day maybe ill try contacts like that.