INFPs & ENFPs - Do You Suffer From ESCAPISM & AVOIDANCE?

INFPs and ENFPs tend to care for people's feelings and have a deeper emotional connection with others. Having a strong sense of empathy has its benefits...but there is a DARK SIDE to this...
Caring too much causes INFPs and ENFPs to AVOID tough situations and ESCAPE things that put us in a difficult position. We procrastinate and delay from facing these situations and end up not doing anything productive at all!
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[@blueblaze332]

So the last few months have been the worst of my life and it's because of escapism. I lived my life in escapism: being in my own little world, daydreaming, reading, watching movies and TV, etc. It was to the point where missed over a month of school. Confronting the hole I had dug myself in caused me excruciating anxiety so I would turn to escapism, creating an endless cycle. When I realized that I needed to climb myself out and couldn't live my entire life in my fantasy world, I turned to suicide. Luckily, I have parents who are amazing and got me a therapist, who helped my mind clear up. I got a part-time job at a fast food restaurant in which I greet customers. It may not seem like much to most, but actually getting out of the house and talking to people has been beneficial to me. Sorry if I was a bit dramatic, but thank you for doing a video on this subject!

[@adityanharish6381]

I am going through the same problem you had before ...is there any way i could stop escapism without consulting a therapist?

[@patrickilodigwe2071]

Same

[@vickyg6182]

Oh man I’ve literally been doing this because of the online classes in quarantine...how do I stop it??

[@-Shana-]

Same

[@Smee1107]

ENFP here. This made a lot of things make sense. I don't know how I learned to partially cope with this, but my brain for some reason knows when to not escape. I've gone through a job change to a position that was not well defined, cheated on/divorced, and got in an awful car accident all within the last 4 months and I haven't "escaped" or avoided at all. I've faced it all. But before all that happened, it was hard to get me to talk on the phone and pay a bill or make an appointment even. Now I'm sorting through insurance claims, doing hobbies, hiking, swimming, finding a perfect new car for me that works for my life, and keeping journal of my feeling to process my emotions better that I religiously write in. Yet at the same time, I'm avoiding going through the boxes from my old life to set up my new one and procrastinating on making myself a stable workspace. So when it's important, I activate.... but if there is opportunity for me to put something off and even eventually forget about it's existence entirely if it's not "crunch-time"..... yeah.... imma do that.

[@SubliminalD-pm1wy]

Same here, with pressure I tend to rise to the occasion but without structure I dig a rut for myself.

[@elsa_lei]

avoidance often also comes from past experience, we were hurt badly, and know this will happen again

[@patrickilodigwe2071]

YES

[@aaronjiang8964]

Totally, it's so easy for me to become passive-aggressive whenever I feel self-conscious.

[@vananhpham2666]

Just found your channel today and have been watching non-stop.

[@anushreebanerjee6988]

What are you escaping from?

[@amyshealingdiaries]

This resonated sooooo deeply! Especially when you said instead of continuing the to-do list I just get side-tracked and do anything else 🤣 I appreciate you so very much for sharing your wisdom!

[@angelasanz685]

How t** h*** did you describe so perfectly my last two months?! I need those tips so much 🙈

[@suzy9259]

Hey Dan, just to share: i actually noticed that if i don't avoid something for too long, it actually often makes me pretty productive, because what i should do instead is "suppose to be" more important right now and i am much quicker at doing stuff because well: i have something i should be doing to do right after (or after the next previous thing i found to do instead 8-) ).So until it is a bad thing, it is kind of good :D Thanks for your videos, they are very inspiring. I've been watching them for a couple of days ..right on time before i accept a long term job instead of doing what i really wanna do ;) wishing you the best!

[@martinascolours]

Gosh I need tips on that! I agree with organizing your life so you don't have to do too much of the things you hate because some of those things can be handled better by other people. However, a part of the things I avoid are related to fears that I have and I feel like I really need to tackle these head on to move forward with my life. For example, I will delay difficult communication with my partner hoping some problems will solve themselves. Or I'd rather imagine that some problems are not that bad and don't need to be delt with and I just try to forget about them... until they hit me again. I did begin meditating just this week actually. Hopefully, that will help me. Looking forward to the other videos.

[@FindingYourSerenity]

Yes I definitely do this a lot! Great video! Loving your ones made for my personality :):) (INFP)

[@enfp]

Thanks! Appreciate it.

[@two_sixteen1111]

I'm so glad I found your channel! This is a problem of mine that many don't seem to understand!

[@enfp]

Glad you did too!

[@akhmad670]

I am an ENFP, entrepreneur and building my startup for over a year. Firing for me is a problem, unless I have a strong reason, then I try to switch off my feelings (because I am from a country, where you need to be tough, so I know how to switch feelings off). Also, I can switch to Sensor type, and the best way to do it is a sparring in a ring with opponent. Since we all are dreamers, and can't be on the move, while in the sparring, you always have to move. Trust me, if you want to switch on Se, you need to turn off Fe like for real. This all text that I wrote might tell you that I am not an ENFP, frankly I also can't believe it, but making honest tests five times every few months don't tell anything else than ENFP. I also don't know why I am writing all this, so this explains why I am ENFP :D Love your video, and love you all ENFP's, I know we all have sweet hearts, and I just want to tell you to do what you love becaues you deserve it. You have been caring about others soo much, it's time to take care of yourself. (While taking care of yourself it might feel too much, but keep going until you have millions of dollars, secured life and everything, and then you can take care of others). Love you!

[@tylermikesh1273]

Dan amazing video! I find myself using escapism when I need to complete tasks I dislike doing. Thanks for sharing your knowledge on this subject!

[@leachatee]

You’re a life savour! I love your videos

[@sandraumney5516]

you are definitely hitting the right buttons with me - plenty of sychronicity for me

[@tiina.duquenoy]

This is amazing

[@enfp]

Thanks, Kristina! :)

[@Michelle-je9jk]

My happy place is anywhere where my books is

[@peculiarlittleman5303]

Wise.

[@toberealestate]

Thanks again for giving clarity.

[@nibinonline]

feels like moving to different country.

[@gordongriffin604]

thanks bro!

[@JPowerMMA]

Or maybe a little bit in the morning. I feel you

[@ezekielsprophecy3203]

I’m ngl... I was daydreaming throughout the video.

[@itbegins]

Thank you

[@enfp]

Welcome!

[@brainiac31K]

A great talk and too close to home. I've learned to make what I call procrastination stacks. For example, at home I don't feel like doing the laundry, or folding the old laundry, or doing the dishes, or opening the mail, etc. I don't want to open the mail, but doing the dishes feels easier so I do them. Then I open the mail with the flow I got from doing the dishes. I really really don't want to fold the old clean laundry, I'd rather start a new load so I start a new load. At that point, I'd rather watch TV for a while, so I sit and fold the laundry while I watch a movie. etc, etc. Does this seem efficient? I do remember at time when I hated putting things off so I dealt with them immediately but then prioritization came into play. Now for a game of Doom Eternal before looking at the tax junk from my accountant.

[@monad3448]

honestly sounsd like youre handling the lack of motivation exceptionally well and I think this is honestly a good tip for people trying to get thru daily life

[@brainiac31K]

@@monad3448 Thank you.

[@GuitarKirby93]

Thanks man, love you videos. They really help me understand myself better

[@Jayexpee]

Wow I’m literally going through all of this right bow

[@Itsgonnabeok4]

What’s funny if you have an INFP and they say ok I’m not going to watch tv or be on my phone all day they could still waste time by staring at the walls daydreaming/thinking lol

[@buruboy]

Aaaaannnddd that's mee! tnx for the video

[@migimuis3564]

Thnx!!!

[@WearySecret]

What I'm facing is bigger than me and in multiples and I have little or no control over them. Some things are just life and others outnumbered cruption of small minded individuals who would better serve the population in another field, preferably on hostile forgein shores. I'm escaping and avoiding like Hudini.

[@hearmyheartcry]

I am still in escapism right now and it running for two years, It's not that I don't try but whenever I try I always fails.. That is why I just spend time mostly at home watching movies etc. The reason for this is that I have been looking for a job since I graduated college however, I have been rejected a lot. One job that accepted I only lasted for one week because the environment is so so so bad. Now, I am out looking for job again. :(

[@memetime5216]

Understandable, I feel that too

[@asmrelief4914]

cool ~

[@minkaschalk2256]

Me

[@kevingray9255]

Hmmm....I LOVE YOUR DAD...!!

[@brucetowe7713]

Great video. Thank you for helping me understand this better

[@enfp]

You're welcome Bruce!

[@zaydashavkatova9081]

Thsi is the only way I function 🤭

[@Rawoonah2cool]

I can't avoid studying I have to do it I can't hire someone else to study for me and tutors are so expensive. Any tips?!! PLEASE HELP I DON'T STUDY AT ALL BECAUSE I KEEP RUNNING AWAY!!! I've gotten zeros in all my quizzes and a 6/20 in my midterms please HELP!

[@chrispham4347]

I hope this isn't advice you already heard of before, but hopefully it helps. - Podomoro Timer (Make sure to take breaks) - Study Bunny App (Or similar study apps) - Accountability Partner - Study Groups - Go to a study environment (Library, well maybe not during COVID-19, but set up a study area at home?) - Read and research how to form habits and how to break habits (Atomic Habits) - Watch Mel Robbins KZbin video on procrastination (It's short and very insightful) - "Study with me" KZbin videos - Read/ watch "study smarter not harder" books/ videos - Reward yourself for studying (My favorite system was eating one m&m after a study session) - Watch "Willpower is for losers" on KZbin - Watch Dan's videos on procrastination - New York Times Article: Why you procrastinate. It has nothing to do with self control. (www.google.com/amp/s/www.nytimes.com/2019/03/25/smarter-living/why-you-procrastinate-it-has-nothing-to-do-with-self-control.amp.html ) - It's hard to study if you feel like shit. ( youfeellikeshit.com/index.html ). Google safe browser checker says it okay, but beware of viruses from random sites?

[@charmedpipper1]

I have no idea if you'll see this, but I have this problem with my college work. Is there any advice you could offer me? I unfortunetly can't hire people to do my assignments 😂 Enfp here. Would love some solid advice from a fellow ENFP

[@shadiaizzatiabubakar5574]

I kinda a person who like to escape from important task with my college work too. Even though the task really easy but I don't know why I ignored them. I would be happy if I can socialize, meet new people and doing part time job. Sometime I get so stress because I need to do all my task last minute but luckily I manage to settle it.

[@vemrith]

I hope the hour a day rule doesn't apply to the pandemic tho 😅

[@intrinsicallyme8404]

"Print your money" hmmm...??

[@enfp]

Hmmm indeed ;)

[@viaanima577]

wow, I think I finally found the explanation for my weird behaviour

[@vintyprod]

Instructions unclear quit engineering

[@dagmarmedabrejlova8825]

print your money xd