Being A Gay Asian Woman: My Experience | Ingrid Nilsen

[@ingridnilsen]

This video is about my personal exploration of what it's like to be a woman who also happens to be gay and half-Asian. If you're an AAPI woman, I would love to hear about your experiences in the comments below. Thank you in advance to anyone who decides to share. Our stories are important catalysts for conversation and the change we want to see in the world.

[@inessaarszulowicz2504]

Im 65% polish and im NOT gay but i experienced some hard times in md school

[@three-d131]

We still gonna love you for you.

[@ChloetheGaymer]

Ingrid, have you watched the movie "Saving Face"? It's my favourite queer movie, I think you will like it.

[@bejitybb]

If you ever turned into the authored voice of the gay AAPI community I know for sure it would be a piece art. I would love to read your story in a literary outlet.

[@junettec9168]

Hi Ingrid, I’m Filipino-Guamanian American and Bisexual. It is difficult to be open about my bisexuality being Filipino. Thank you for making this video, I can definitely relate to the struggle of being AAPI and being in the LGBTQ community. The Asian culture especially those who follow the traditional (close-minded) way is always going to be a challenge for me and so I have learned to just keep talking about it even though it is uncomfortable because one day it will be normal.

[@Lex-jj7hb]

Her mom's from Thailand, she grew up eating Thai food, speaks the language, and she went to temple. She is Asian. Just because her skin is on the lighter side, doesn't mean she isn't half Asian.

[@MrPandabee]

Alexis Ford THANK YOU! 👏👍

[@daesuke2538]

Asians are also light skin lol

[@ekk4674]

@tracy Star shut up she knows her race better than you.

[@onestunningdude9445]

I went to Temple, go Owls!

[@uyentruong2362]

@tracy Star if her mom is thai....50% of her genetics IS asian since you get half of your genes from your momma. fyi.

[@villemiin]

for anyone wondering, shes half norwegian and half thai

[@Sailormoon1122]

vilhelmiina she looks more Norwegian

[@marikaaxox]

ive been subscribed to her for a long time and never knew her ethnicity!! :O

[@dinkerz]

But she just said she was Caucasian? Norwegians are Scandinavian. I'm confused.

[@villemiin]

Dink mtz honestly me too

[@needsomespace]

please correct me if im wrong, but i thought caucasian was a synonym for being white? thats just how ive always used it, and i assume thats what she was doing as well

[@ablob3388]

To the idiots saying "She doesn't look Asian at all": What does "Asian" even look like to you? There's 48 countries in Asia. People look very different from country to country in Asia. Also, stop assuming the only Asians are East Asians.

[@t.k.5104]

#truth

[@velocityarmour]

Whimsie THIS!!

[@invinciblesummer13]

Exactly!! I'm half Bangladeshi and people are always like "you're not Asian, Bangladeshi people aren't Asian" and it's like... where do you think Bangladesh is

[@t.k.5104]

Kennedy Aalo I know right, I'm Indian-American. I still don't love when people are just under educated about the world. It's like HELLO, our families are still in continental Asia!

[@ENZOxDV9]

Only Americans think Asian are just East Asian people. In the UK Asian usually refers to west Asia such as India, Pakistan,Iran, Iraq etc

[@aiileensea]

Just because she doesn't look asian does not mean she isn't. She is half Thai and was raised with that culture. Watch the video before assuming she isn't asian.

[@NoCommonSense9]

Maria Chong exactly! and it's not like there's only one way to look asian??? asia's,,, kinda a big place idk if these people have noticed

[@juliette23]

She grew up in the US. She owes everything to that country, she is therefore American. Chances are she doesn't even speak Thai. Being half whatever doesn't make you a citizen from that country. Stop inventing yourselves a life that's not yours.

[@sebom2014]

Juliette B you missed the part where she said she grew up speaking the language, just watch the video🙄🙄🙄

[@juliette23]

I did watch the video. She said herself that she can't speak Thai anymore.

[@aiileensea]

Juliette B you know it’s possible to speak a language and eventually not remember it. I️ have so much family that learned Tagalog as their first language (I’m Filipino) then moved to the US and now they don’t know how to speak it. That doesn’t suddenly mean they’re not Filipino anymore.

[@ellebee511]

How did so many people not realize she's Thai? She's talked about it in many videos before & shown her mother multiple times. She also has tons of videos from visiting Thailand where she specifically talks about her heritage.

[@amandaxkoko]

SERIOUSLY. ive always known that about her older videos. im thai myself and i was like omg finally someone i know on youtube thats thai even if its half thai.

[@shelby7197]

I'm not a frequent viewer, tbh. I've been subscribed to her since 2013 or so but mostly only watched the beauty related stuff and not many vlogs.

[@Matamoroscamila]

I had no idea and I’ve been following her since 2012

[@1stepcl0ser]

Laken Pate she doesn’t talk about it anymore tho. I only knew bc earlier on shes mentioned it. But she hasnt for a long time

[@elizabethschnell3768]

its__AMANDAtory keksskskawkskskjsjsmsmmakmwmspNsksks

[@LaurenDenise]

10:23-10:41 spoke to my heart. As a gay, Black American, femme presenting woman, who also came out at an older age (29), I can identify with so much of your experience. Thank you for being so candid and compassionate. You are helping SOOO many people! 💛

[@thewriter2634]

kzbin.info/www/bejne/hJWyd5WtnrBsnJI

[@daesuke2538]

It's because she's half Southeast asian (thai), it's makes her asian side not look visible. If she was half East asian (chinese,japanese,korean), it's would look more clear that she's half asian. People who are half southeast asian & half white, tend to look hispanic. Those who are half east asian, definitely look more Asian than half southeast asian people. It's always the eyes where ppl consider if someone look asian but they don't know south asians & southeast asians majority have large double eyelid unlike many east asians/"famous asians"(chinese,japanese,korean) and most of them are tan but they're are some south & southeast asians that are pale. It's kinda sad people only consider east asians as the only asians.

[@classycassie1118]

Dae Suke Exactly. South Asians have a very different look from North Asians. People from Vietnam, Thailand, Laos, Filipines ect look "Spanish" almost Mexican. There is a distinct look for different parts of Asia and if you are around enough Asians you will start to notice the difference from a Chinese person and a Japanese or Korean person. The difference is even greater when it comes to south Asia not even including India and Bangladesh and other countries like that.

[@ZebrasEatMarshmellow]

I'm half Korean and half Irish. I also get that I look completely white as well. It just differs from person to person. I also have natural double eyelids as well. White features are much more pronounced than Asian (a lot of the time) so that's why it can be hard to tell if someone is half Asian of any kind.

[@RealRina90]

theres no ''Thai look'' dae suke, thailand is a very asian-mixed country with people who mainly have chinese roots (60% of the country actually has chinese roots, most are less then half chinese but still to even have chinese roots counts so its about 60% [that is even mentioned in a documentary about thailand]) and quite a few with indian roots. Its very diverse , they dont have a certain ONE look/appeareance to them. Other then that thais originated from south china (most thais dont even know that since most dont educate themself about theyre origins). Other then that i know a lot of half white half thais who look half japanese. Since 60% of thais have chinese roots half white half thais can most def. DO look like a half asian clearly. Besides that (since im half korean half thai) i also know many half koreans who dont look asian AT ALL... it has NOTHING to do with what asian half you are unless its south asian like india or pakistan. & Thais who know of theyre chinese roots dont mention theyre chinese roots (not even 100% chinese living in thailand do especially not the chinese who live outside of bangkok or near it do) ,only some do , if you was born & raised in TH youre considered as thai (if your 100% asian youre asian ethnicity does not matter). Theres many other asians living in TH very soon so a thai can look either more indian ,more cambodian or more chinese from facial features but thats it. Skintone shouldnt be mentioned since all asians originally were dark skinned people. even east asians, you can actually see that on inet (koreans from 100 years ago on google).

[@daesuke2538]

HalfThaiKorean1990 what is this essay? Who said something about a Thai look. But really..southeast asians seem to hate being told they look southeast asian.

[@gloria8583]

This comment is quite true. But when I look at her nose I can still tell she might be half asian

[@jonasbrothers4life8]

she's half thai, half norwegian from her dad. he passed away a while ago. people who've watched her for a long time would know she's talked many times about her thai heritage. if only people weren't so ignorant and quick to judge

[@steveandnadia]

I think people are confused here cause people think Asians are all Chinese/Korean/Japanese (anyone who are oriental looking) when they can be Malay, Indian, Mongolian, Maldivian, Filipino, EVEN middle eastern honestly to literally be ASIAN (but fine, we can take out middle Easterns). AND for your info Indians, Chinese and Malay of Asia looks fucking damn different.

[@ENZOxDV9]

Roxanne Bernabe maybe theh assume because there's not many Filipinos compared to Chinese or Japanese?

[@RealRina90]

Ehm thais originated from south china actually... now its a very mixed up country with a lot of thais havong indian burmese etc roots and mainly still chines roots (that includes my moms fam. who is thai-chinese, and not all of them look like people THINK all chinese people look like). Dont know if ur thai or not but most thais dont know theyre origins anyways since its not tought in schools much or not at all. Guess you never read about the origin of thais or watched a documentary about thailand history (its mentioned mainly where thais originally came from) although the south chinese from even now 2017 are also mainly dark skintoned people ,china is very big the people dont all look the same and originally ALL asians were dark skinned people,the white skin u see now on north chinese or korean people was not how they looked over at least 100 years ago ,koreans back then were partly even almost black from skintone. And just saying...the first ever asians on earth (in between the southeast + east asian area geographically) were the chinese&mongolians ,koreans originated also from china (in this case north china). Thailand is diverse we dont look the same ingeneral beside of the fact where we originally came from 4000 years ago. The most thais nowadays should know that thailand is quite mixed especially with chinese & indian roots, they dont have to look indian or chinese (or what you think all chinese look like) to have chinese/indian roots in them. My small% of fam. whos 100% chinese has dark skin so.

[@xbbyvainx]

It's really annoying that people only assume those three are only kind of asians. I've been told I'm not really asian just because I'm not chinese, japanese or korean. When India is the second biggest country in Asia after China

[@raversfantasy]

exactly. i’m half asian and people think i’m lying because i don’t look east asian and i never said i was east asian, people are so ignorant.

[@emilysalamy7574]

This is something that REALLY needs to be discussed more often, and I'm so excited that you sparked conversation about this. Please do more videos like this, I love them and they are so important and influential!!

[@MaVieEnR0se]

It makes me so sad seeing all these petty comments questioning Ingrid's asian roots. The topic of this video is so much more profound, who cares if she doesn't look thai and if her skin is too white to be thai (for your standard).

[@Pearlygirl0]

Ma Vie en R0se absolutely. Please talk about the topic and how people need a positive space for discussion.

[@justsophE]

👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼

[@RealRina90]

theres no ''Thai look'' anyways , thailand is a very asian-mixed country with people who mainly have chinese roots (60% of the country actually has chinese roots, most are less then half chinese but still to even have chinese roots counts so its about 60% [that is even mentioned in a documentary about thailand]) and quite a few with indian roots. Its very diverse , they dont have a certain ONE look/appeareance to them. And thais are not actually all dark either hence to the mixed up asian ethncitys that are mixed within us. So it has nothing to with her having light skin, several of my thai cousins have white skin since birth (all at least teenagers already, skin never changed to a darker skintone so) Other then that i agree.

[@finnwolfhardscrustytoes1150]

IM HALF THAI and ive finally found a half Thai youtuber

[@NoCommonSense9]

Bae Sung Lee aaaahhh dude that's so cool! happy for you

[@anastasias8180]

Same here

[@mousecop]

Same

[@MakaylaSamountry]

I'm also half Thai and a KZbinr!!

[@ameliliaa5756]

yassss I'm half thai too

[@li-ly-li]

Wow, actually amazed that the response to this is "you're Asian? You don't look Asian so I don't think you really are". Unbelievable shortsightedness.

[@lanfriesen]

Lily S How? She doesn’t really look Thai. I didn’t know because she can pass for just being white and I’ve never seen a video where she mentioned her heritage. How it that being short-sighted? I’m just making an assumption that I think most people would make about a girl with big eyes, light brown hair, and light skin who doesn’t talk about her heritage (and I know she does talk about it but to me it seemed like she didn’t because I never saw a video in which she did).

[@li-ly-li]

Lan Friesen You asked how and then answered yourself... "Making an assumption", based on the limits of your own knowledge of Ingrid or of Asian characteristics, is shortsighted. Possibly some people are surprised but that doesn't change facts. The suggestion that someone might "pass for just being white" implies (maybe not as intended by you) that she's performed some kind of deception or receives some kind of benefit by not reminding every new viewer she's Asian. She's highlighting it here to invite an engaged discussion that I, maybe naively, was surprised to see receive immediate challenges to her own ethnic 'validity'. A long- sighted response looks beyond subjective and personal impressions and therefore is neither self-righteous nor self-defensive, just engaged.

[@027betz]

its funny cause she looks so much like her thai mom and other half asians i know.

[@meganp6810]

Lily S How is that shortsighted? Why would I assume someone’s Asian if they don’t look Asian? Do you walk around assuming backgrounds of people where it’s not phenotypically apparent? If someone doesn’t look black then I won’t assume they’re black. If someone doesn’t look white then I won’t assume there white. To me that’s just normal.😕

[@li-ly-li]

Megan Phillip Fair enough, but I believe she does have Asian characteristics. Due to being of Asian heritage. The shortsightedness is the inability to recognise that whether or not you, or anyone else, thinks she looks Asian is beside the point... She is Asian. My first comment was about the absurdity of people trying to argue otherwise based on their assumptions.

[@beautyfromwithin0173]

I love how often you've been uploading lately , Ingrid! Some of your vids have really helped me when I was going through a lot of rough patches in my life . Keep up the wonderful work as always girl and never forget how special of a person you are. Lots of love from me to you!🤗💕

[@heather6404]

I'm neither Asian or gay, but I loved every minute of this video. This video should be seen by everyone. It makes you think about your own prejudices that you might have hidden away in your mind that you think you may not have. Bravo Ingrid! Really enjoyed this

[@arianaginspired]

I literally just wrote a paper for my sociology lecture about this exact topic last week (being a gay chinese women specifically) and part of my paper shed light on the lack of representation for us in the media and i am so so happy to see you talking about this and exploring it in such a helpful way. thank you so much!!

[@ENZOxDV9]

Mei Eldridge what do you mean 'lack of represesentation". What are they supposed to say? "Oh here's an openly gay, Assian person for you to see because you don't see enough of it"? Like tf?

[@nottheone582]

yes - I loved that Ingrid touched on representation in the media. We need way more roles & people in positions of leadership to cast Asian Americans, women & LBGTQ people. I fully support this! I would love to read your paper Mei.

[@ZiKiKi]

Yes! Me too!!

[@Jmp599]

It's like you read my mind; thanks for this Ingrid!!

[@NoCommonSense9]

Julia Park ❤💛💚💙💜

[@bl1298]

I am white and straight and it makes me happy to see people no matter their race or gender doing what makes them happy. If anyone gives you shit about being yourself just remind yourself that they have their own hidden shit too. Misery loves company.

[@mn629]

Congratulations on your journey! 💓

[@laurenmiddleton5235]

Julia Park of

[@ZiKiKi]

I can totally relate!!! I'm so so happy for you!

[@Cateaclysmic]

Ingrid, so much of what you've talked about I can relate with. I'm half Thai half British but growing up in the UK I felt that Asian side of me was suppressed to the point I was ashamed to be Asian, I was bullied so badly in school simply for the fact I looked a bit different that my family basically told me to deny I was Asian which I did for a long time and this also in turn affected my relationship with my Thai mother however this changed when I grew up and we actually began to talk to each other about our struggles and our problems and realised we have so much more in common than we thought and my Mum is like my best friend now I can talk to her and trust her with anything. What you said about finding literature to read and finding stories about people who are similar to you resonated with me so much because it wasn't until I found Asian American literature during my university years I began to realise that I wasn't alone in my experiences and I wasn't so different in this world and in a way it helped me come to terms with my "Asian-ness". Thai customs were very much a part of me growing up to but I didn't realise just how much a part of me they were until I moved back to Thailand last year and began talking to other foreigners and locals outside of my family and saw how many of my habits and my thinking is Thai even though I grew up in the UK. The whole stereotyping of Asian women is something I have experienced to, I'm expected to look after the family and clean and cook and be quiet and just accept a husband and while yes I love my family and I want to take care of them it's not my sole responsibility and marriage and children is not something I want forced upon me. I very much want to live my own life and after years of arguing and being criticised for not living the stereotypical life I think my family have now finally accepted that this is me and they support me. Anyway there's just so much more I could say especially about Asians in the media and especially how Thailand is portrayed but this comment is already so long. I just want to thank you for talking about this because it's something that I know will really help others and something I wished I had when I was growing up xoxo

[@eskiemomo8575]

Hey Ingrid, I’m also half Thai (my Mum is Thai and my dad is Australian), and gay. Been with my partner for over 7 years. Represent, girl!

[@corneliastreets]

People need to stop disregarding her experiences because it doesn't fit what a non-white passing full Asian would face. She's speaking about her experience as a biracial gay woman and despite not looking like what the general public considers as "Asian" (small eyes) she does still face troubles as a poc. Biracial people face discrimination from their own races. Not being this enough and not being that enough. Stop making assumptions about biracial or even multiracial poc because the features they have don't erase the fact they grew up with their culture, and even if they didn't, still doesn't erase their heritage.

[@xbbyvainx]

She does look Asian but because people assume think China, Korea and Japan are the only kinds of asians. She doesn't look either of them that she doesn't look asian. Us mixed people are still poc , people are too ignorant to understand

[@corneliastreets]

Shalina R Yes! Most people dismiss her experiences because she "doesn't look Asian enough" and they don't bother thinking there are different features for different parts of it

[@howtopasstime]

Why are people so rude lmao. I've followed Ingrid's channel for a long time, she's definitely half asian and has Thai culture deep in her heart.

[@xTheGoddessOfChaosx]

I've been following for a long time as well and I never noticed..?

[@howtopasstime]

then you must have missed her Thailand vlogs, her video about growing up mixed, her video with her mom, her random facts videos, her hauls from Thailand...

[@HauntinglyAsh]

The second I read “gay and Asian” I was stunned. HOW DID I NOT REALIZE YOU WERE ASIAN? As soon as I read it it became so obvious. Wow. I never thought I was a person who “assumed” someone’s race or culture but apparently I need to work on that! This is a great video Ingrid.

[@leesungyeols]

have you heard of the facebook group SAD & ASIAN? it's a community for asian (mostly) femmes to generate a ton of dialogue, to ask questions, and to share experiences. there are designated days for underrepresented groups w/i the asian community, such as LGBTQIA, non-east asians, mixed asians, asians with disabilities, etc! i recommend it if you're seeking a resource for diverse shared experiences

[@annabelledionisio7018]

Emily thank you for this!!

[@navkirannkaur]

yesss! i was just about to comment this.

[@RamnikD]

Is the group private? I haven’t been able to find it

[@EmilyTanica]

Same, I can't find it :/

[@ZiKiKi]

Wow! Thanks so much for this! I'll make sure to check it out!

[@fadysap757]

Your hair looks amazinggg tho

[@aerialspiders]

This was probably one of the best and most insightful videos you’ve ever made. I’m a straight-passing LGBTQ AAPI woman who was raised in a religious household, and a lot of the experiences you’ve talked about were very similar to mine!

[@abar2486]

Asian doesn’t mean Eastern Asian (China, Korea, Japan). Asian means from Asia, as in the continent with over 50 countries in it.

[@egmilktea]

Skyla Shi Not to be rude, but don't just automatically take Eastern Asian countries out of the picture. They're also Asian, it's just that those countries don't encompass the entirety of the continent despite some misconceptions. Also, there aren't over 50 countries in Asia. There's only 48.

[@MyAppella87]

We love and always here to support you Ingrid!!! Love from Thailand❤️💙

[@alexalorraine1753]

Do people know that.. China isn't the only country in Asia? Jesus, Ingrid's literally done vlogs visiting her family in Thailand and vlogs with her mom talking about her childhood.

[@ablob3388]

Right? People need to educate themselves. Smh.

[@t.k.5104]

Ikr, I'm Indian, and sometimes I feel pretty pushed away from the Asian community. Like...I really want to make more diverse friends. Thx for hearing me out.

[@lanfriesen]

That’s not the only reason people didn’t know she’s Asian. I’m Vietnamese so obviously I’m educated on Asia, but I didn’t know that she’s half Thai. I just happened to never have seen a video in which she mentioned it.

[@alexalorraine1753]

Lan Friesen idk maybe it's that I've been a subscriber for so long. But also some people are literally telling her that she's not? Being rude does nothing

[@amelaedina]

Watch the fucking video before commenting she’s not Asian jfc. she talks about her Asian side at one min in.

[@amelaedina]

Warming my heart :')

[@pattraHrn]

For people who say she doesn't look thai. Thai mixed doesn't always look like what people expect "Asian" to look like. Most common features are just slightly bigger jawline, a little higher cheekbones, slightly tanner skin, darker hair, darker eyes color.

[@DomoLover118]

pattra so I think some ppl are bothered because in a different interpretation, she's "white-passing." Her experience as a "gay female Asian" is COMPLETELY different from an ACTUAL gay Asian woman. There's gonna be bias and privilege attached to being half white. She's not gonna fully understand the racism and judgement that a non-white, full Asian women would experience in society. I'm not saying it's completely true but I can understand the perspective.

[@Leroset]

DomoLover118 But she's also going to get a different kind of racism from her Asian relatives and countrymen and she will not be fully accepted by either gay full Asian women or gay full white women. So as a biracial gay person it's like she's on her own. This is something that all the SJWs yelling at her in the comments about how she's not Asian enough don't get and honestly this is why progress isn't being made quickly: instead of accepting her experiences at face value they still have to find a way to exclude her because she isn't "marginalized" enough for their diversify checkboxes. All of these people can just fuck off tbh, Ingrid doesn't need their approval and their opinions on her Asianness are offensive and unwanted.

[@DomoLover118]

Leroset there's always diff opinions on her story.. and even though it's HER story and only she can really determine what she deems appropriate, by putting her story out for ppl to watch and take in is her choice. So it's cool to see everyone's opinion and how they process HER experience and story. Some are definitely ignorant, racist, but some can be reasonable. It's interesting to see ALL perspectives even if I don't agree with some of them. I personally don't like to shut down anyone's opinion but it's cool that you replied and gave your opinion 😊

[@magickgirl786]

If you're looking for good representation of Asian women in the media, check out Agents of SHIELD as they have two female Asian characters, Melinda May (Chinese) and Daisy Johnson (half Chinese half Caucasian) and Maurissa Tancheroen, who is one of the showrunners is Thai. Also, Chloe Bennet who plays Daisy has stated many times that she wants Daisy to be bisexual to add more representation to the character.

[@marybellesagard]

People talking about how she's not asian because she doesn't look asian is ridiculous. Her mother is Thai and she grew up immersed in the asian culture... I'm also half asian and it's irritating when people say things like "Oh, you'll never understand our struggles because you're half." Anyways, thank you for sharing your experiences with us in this video, Ingrid! :)

[@meetingskylar_pov]

this video means so much to me, thanks for sharing. when I came out to my mom, this is what she said, "don't tell your dad about this, don't tell anyone about this, they will be ashamed of you. they will be sad because you're not straight. " and it hurt so much. I don't want to hide who I am, I just want to be honest with myself, I don't know what's wrong with that.

[@guhwakk]

ahh I’m so happy that this video is here! I’m also an Asian wlw so this was rly rly heartening to see tysm Ingrid!!

[@ZiKiKi]

Same!!

[@ashleychappell1741]

I come from half-Filipino and Canadian heritage, and I deeply resonate with this video. My heart aches because I have encountered many of these similar experiences and I applaud you for not being silent, Ingrid. I needed this and I am so grateful.

[@sarah14cold]

There is also the "Asian Character with color Hair Streak"( usually purple) in movies/series, like Tina in Glee, Mako Mori in pacific rim, Jade in the Bratz movie, gogo tomago in big hero 6 and more..

[@snoopysweethrt7]

Wow thank you for this! I am part Korean and I really appreciated this thorough, meaningful, and well researched video.

[@aaran2329]

Intersectionality iso important and relevant to everyone's life! Thank you for making this video!

[@martinheatherd]

I'm really excited and thankful that you did a 23&me video, while talking about your perspective on being a gay and Asian woman. When I did 23&me I found out that I am a quarter Asian (which lead my dad to do a 23&me, finding out that he is half Asian)! All my life I was told I was white and all my dad's life he was told he was white. This did not sit well with us because we both have very tan skin and knew there was more to our story. Although my dad's paternal half brother never replied to us to through the relative finder, it does feel like we finally have a part of the missing piece to who we are.

[@shelby7197]

I had no idea you are half Asian. I assumed the Scandinavian background because of your name but had no idea about your mom.

[@zainait3163]

I feel like we get to know her even more with these type of videos and i'm so proud of her

[@Acquazy]

As a Filipino-American gay woman, my family members were very accepting when I came out, but at the same time we don't really talk about me being gay to other Filipino families or even my extended family in the Philippines. In Filipino culture in the Philippines it seems like gay women, *especially* feminine gay women, don't exist -- lesbian or a bisexual woman is seen as something you'll get over/is only temporary. I have 2 cousins and several aquaintences in the Philippines who had long term relationships with other women and identify as lesbian or bisexual who were essentially forced by their families to break up, get over it, get married to a man, and have a kid. All have regretted it and want to go back to being in a relationship with a woman, but can't because they feel stuck especially since there's no such thing as divorce in the Philippines. These girls are feminine and I mention that because if you're more on the masculine side and identify as butch then for some reason it's okay to be with another woman. The machismo mindset is still pretty prevalent over there so I think that's why it's okay to "look like a man" and "act like a man" and to have a female partner, but having two women more on the feminine side isn't okay. That's why I'm so thankful for being born here in the US because my family here are definitely more open-minded and more accepting. Coming out to people outside of my family hasn't been bad, but there have been some difficulties. I live in the very liberal city of Seattle so being a gay woman isn't anything crazy, but being a feminine Filipino woman has made made me be cautious about who I come out to and this mostly applies to straight guys because some of the things I've heard from them were absolutely ridiculous. One guy told me, "That's too bad because my grandpa told me that filipino women were bred for whoring with them thicker hips than other Asian girls. Some of his best f**ks were from girls like you." Other things of that nature have been said to me when I come out to straight men -- it doesn't happen a lot, but it has happened one too many times.

[@annabelledionisio7018]

Acquazy yes!! I relate to all of this and it's so comforting to know that someone has been through it!! I've even had teachers tell me that Filipino women are the most fertile and just whip about babies in rice fields, so yeah people are also gross with Filipino women

[@Leroset]

Acquazy If anyone ever says things to you like what that guy said, no one would blame you for punching them in the face.

[@Acquazy]

Leroset That almost happened once only because he put his hands on me after he said some nasty comment about Filipino women. ! I didn't punch him, but I did pin him against the wall by using my forearm at his throat.

[@Acquazy]

Annabelle Dionisio I've heard that too! It's so crazy to me how people think it's okay to say things like that. And what boggles my mind is, I've had a straight male friend who said some derogatory thing to me about being a Filipino woman after I came out to him because he thought I was "one of his bros now." Dude, it wasn't right when you thought I was straight so how is it right to say that to me now that you know I'm gay? It makes no sense.

[@annikaseven]

I live in somewhat of a small city and it’s comforting for me to read that there’s someone out there who’s also a femme gay filipino. I’ve told what you wrote to most of the people I know because it is hard. But we’re not alone and we’re okay and happy!

[@amymichelllle]

I loved this video. People can choose to nitpick at you and the terms you used but I thought this was pretty spot on! And to each their own! Being an Asian American, especially first generation in America was extremely difficult! I’m very relieved to see that you are using your platform to spread input and just awareness! Love you Ingrid!

[@saranordstrom7514]

You are doing something very important by discussing this! I am not in your position and that is why I want to know about your experiences ❤️

[@gayeponine3223]

Thank you so much for making this video and adding to the conversation, Ingrid. As a half-Asian, feminine-presenting lesbian woman as well, I cried when you made your coming out video because I had never seen anyone like me in the media before. I felt like it let me know that it was okay to be me and I felt permission to be myself. Representation really does matter. Sending much love your way

[@pandapickl3zz]

Hey Ingrid, I feel really emotional towards this video. Thank you so much for sharing. Although I am not gay, I am an Indonesian born female, adopted into a white Australian family. I don't want to discredit the amazing life I have been given by my parents by any means, but I have definitely experienced a lot of painful experiences involving inner and outer conflict. It's extremely confusing and challenging for me when I have been brought up in a white upbringing which of course shape my behaviour and my views on things but I am 100% Asian. I feel conflicted many times a day because it's easy to forget that I am Asian since I only look out through my eyes and can only see my environment and I don't see myself every day, that I am Asian. I hope this doesn't sound too confusing... There's so many times when I've been either subjected to or witnessed racism but I've just let it go because I either chose to or because it's easier or I've not even realised what's happened because I was brought up in a white family with the (unfortunate) acceptance of unacceptable things. I struggle every day internally and externally with my now increased awareness for who I am and what I want to stand for, as I grow older and have the confidence to be more outspoken. I find that if I remind myself every day then it does become easier to be outspoken. Practice makes perfect.

[@ldeethkelt]

This video is so thoughtful and insightful. Coming from someone who has not had any of these experiences and comes from a completely different background it's so interesting to get to know people on this level. X

[@filzah2532]

It’s hard being a gay asian and what makes it worse is that I come from a Muslim family. I wish it gets better for people like me but I’m not hopeful

[@emmTemm]

Love that you are using your platform to educate folks. This was legit Ethnic Studies and Asian American Studies! Love this!!!

[@Gretaand]

This is why I love you, cause you care about yourself and share your experience to the others.

[@Eliszzyy]

Been following you for years, and I have to admit, would grow a little distracted when watching certain videos on materialistic topics. But when I hear you talking about topics like this, it reminds of why I follow you. THANK YOU for speaking out and being strong and showing courage. I love that you are constantly exploring and evolving and setting an example for others. Way to lead by example. You go girl! Can't wait to watch similar videos :) :) :)

[@vivawaratah1101]

I’m an Asian woman living in London and it can be difficult to deal with stereotypical ideas that people have towards Asian women. I’m straight but still, I suffer with misconceptions and expectations that Caucasians or even other Asians have toward Thai woman. I’m hard-working individual who likes to take care of myself and it seems that other people find it difficult to understand that Asian woman CAN be smart and look good at the same time, just like any Caucasians! Somehow, they usually expect Asians to be either sexy and stupid or smart and uptight. Sorry for rambling on but I just want to contribute! Been watching you for ten years now and always love your content, Ingrid! Ring me if you are in London. Would love to talk about our experience being Thai in a heavily Westernized society. Hugs and kisses ❤️

[@bluelollipops808]

This was incredibly important to hear, Ingrid! I am not LGBTQ+, but I am AAPI and your message about family expectation and cultural norms really spoke to me. You are such a role model for us all; being true to yourself has led you towards opportunity and happiness. It gives me courage to so in my own life. Thank you for inspiring me always!

[@esme2959]

The best gay-female-asian representation in film that i've seen is by far The Handmaiden

[@ccap3211]

Esme which character are you referring to? I don't remember an Asian character.

[@ccap3211]

Esme brook soso (meadow) from orange is the new black is a good representation of an Asian lesbian.

[@eleanorsmith6796]

ccap3211 it's a Korean film, I could be wrong but I believe all characters are Asian

[@ccap3211]

eleanor smith oh I was thinking of The Handmaid's Tale! Lol

[@eleanorsmith6796]

ccap3211 I love the handmaid's tale😍

[@emrobinson8894]

Ingrid, this video really hit home to me. My mom is biracial- half Thai and half Caucasian and I am part of the LGBT community. Only being a quarter Thai, it didn't matter to me because I lived in a Thai household. You are the first woman that I have really had that connection with and it really brought me to tears that I have somebody to relate to and you spoke about the problems that I face everyday. Thank you so much for making this video.

[@yasminerose1995]

I don't understand how ppl are dismissing her experience because she doesn't "look" asian.... She DEFINATLEY looks bi-racial so I am sure she has been exposed to BOTH Caucasian and Asian specific discrimination. Just because she is half white doesn't mean that her experience is any easier. In fact bi-racial peoples experience a whole extra type of discrimination. This is clear is the comments; as you are all discriminating against her and discrediting her feelings and experiences purely because she is bi-racial or looks "white"

[@Leroset]

Becoming Yasmine EXACTLY, finally someone gets it. THANK YOU.

[@etarver13]

I find it quite arrogant for people to say that someone didn't face the stuff they did because they don't think she look Asian/biracial, who the fuck they are telling other what happened and did not happen to that person life and experience? I agree with you Ingrid does look biracial. I picked that up the moment I saw her, but even if I didn't I still have no right to tell something happen or didn't happen to them simply because I didn't grow up with her or I was never her to begin with.

[@nathalieohlsson2561]

I remember looking down on people who were gay. But when I started watching youtube 24/7 i listened to gay people and now I want to embrace all sexualities. It's people like You who made me change. Thank You so much!

[@MichellePearson]

I’m half Thai and half Caucasian too! Most people think I’m Polynesian or Latina. It’s amazing how we can all look so different. ❤️

[@sarahlovesyaa321]

I love you so much, thank you for your authenticity. I'm so grateful I started watching your channel a few years ago when you came out. You inspire me to dig deep in to myself and be authentic in my own life❤

[@ameliliaa5756]

WHO ELSE HERE IS PART THAI?

[@malinamiller3623]

ameliliaa meeee

[@rachelforrestb1]

Mee

[@carrieaj]

Yeaaa

[@Thevagee2243]

I’m full Thai 💕

[@pu3893]

Full Thai!

[@ylimsiri]

Hi Ingrid! I'm Thai too. Now I am the US doing MBA. I have a really hard time adjusting to this new culture. What you talked about being quiet and not causing disruption was so true. But I'd say being gay is acceptable and people are very open about it. I feel like it's important that you live the life that you love! Lots of loves from me!!!

[@saranordstrom7514]

Can you speak Thai in a video sometime? Would love to hear it

[@1stepcl0ser]

Sara Nordström i dont think she can speak it properly

[@margaretrandy4698]

Sara Nordström She mentioned on her podcast that she doesn't know Thai

[@maitesoto1953]

She once said in a video that she can understand Thai somewhat well but can't speak it

[@olga998123]

exactly a point about her being Asian. she did not even put an effort to learn the language...

[@Taylor-en7yr]

@olga998123 You don't have to speak the language just because you have a background in it? I'm Colombian, German, and Polish but you don't see me speaking all that lmao

[@bernadette3744]

THANK YOU SO MUCH for sharing your thoughts with your community! I really appreciate your thoughtful dialogue. As a Eurasian woman, I commiserate with the way you were raised and I think speaking publically about these social issues will do a lot of good- especially in this political climate! Thank you for using your platform to speak about your personal experiences.

[@LUNABEEHIVE]

I think the moral here is that Ingrid should write a book!?

[@demining3960]

I am so grateful to have you as my role model. There isn't many gay Asian woman to look up to and here you are, actively trying to help people like me. Thank you so much Ingrid for putting yourself out like this so that other gaysians wouldn't feel like they are alone or that nobody cares about them.

[@elyseanderson3]

as a half taiwanese, half caucasian woman living in the US, i appreciate this video so much. my mom was born and raised in taiwan, so taiwanese culture was embedded into my upbringing. and even though i grew up in Southern California, that shouldn't discredit or minimize my asian heritage just because most people think i'm "just a white girl" based solely on physical appearance. being mixed raced (especially with such starkly different cultures like asian and american) is a constant identity battle because you're never fully one culture - and although growing up in a mixed race home is 10000% a privilege and honor, it's somehow been tainted with ignorance. for everyone that's commenting about her not "looking asian" so that somehow entitles you to create a narrative on her cultural upbringing, please please do us all a favor and pick up a book or educate yourself on this before cementing your opinion onto ingrid's video. that's the end of my two cents. thank you for shedding light on very important topics ingrid, you're a vision.

[@meetingskylar_pov]

Elyse Anderson seeing Taiwanese in the comment section is heart warming, since the country usually gets overlooked.

[@mikayocc]

Wow, Ingrid. This is so well said - thank you for talking about this, I think it's extremely important.

[@alyssalopez3103]

Where are all my fellow gaysians?

[@sheepymoo3104]

Alyssa Lopez ayyee🤪✊🏽

[@jadetheshade]

ayyy

[@osamamahmoud7119]

Im gay new

[@darkred1438]

here ♡

[@scamp838]

As someone who is not a regular viewer, I did not realise your mixed heritage. But I found this video so inspiring, interesting and passionate, thank you for sharing your experiences ❤

[@olpgirl2003]

This video was so eye-opening to me! As a hetero white girl I never really put much thought into the experiences of Asians in the LGBTQ community. Thanks for bringing awareness to these issues.

[@brb349]

Thank you for always being so open about yourself and your experiences. It's so genuine and lovely.

[@alejandra.rm95]

I love this kind of videos ♥ So proud of you, Ingrid☻

[@bonjouritsizzy3405]

your identity is important part of you, and I love that you continue to share with us your experience while still staying true to who you are and no one can take that from you, and I am glad you never feel the necessity to choose one part of your identity because that's what makes you amazing. :)

[@richlizard]

in case the world forgot: ...hayley kiyoko. : /

[@GoodandDelicious]

I have such a soft spot for Thai culture. My sister in law was born and raised in a very rural town like 7 hours outside of Bangkok. She is one of the most wonderful humans on this earth. I love to hear her speak to her mom and friends and sing to her songs and watch Korean soap operas that are dubbed in Thai. I have no idea what she or anyone is saying but it’s precious. Anyway, that’s completely off topic, just wanted to share.

[@XAmericanGirlDollzX]

If y’all look at her old videos she definitely looks half Asian. How can y’all say “you’re not Asian” like uh YES she is!

[@AnnaRusseller]

I loved this video so much. I am half Thai as well & have grown up the same way you did. I live in Thailand 3 months of the year & the culture is a huge part of me.

[@nova-caine]

ive never been this early tf 💕

[@jessicahelenn]

Don't listen to anyone in the comments trying to erase your identity. I am half German (half Australian) so I have struggled with this my whole life, but must be really hard when people start assuming things based on looks. You are a beautiful person Ingrid, and you define your own identity!

[@linday2009]

Yep, you can tell she is Asian too, I knew she was mix too 👩🏾‍🔬

[@katherineelee96]

There's a growing number of books and podcasts written and curated by incredible Asian and especially Asian-American women that I'd be happy to share! Growing up full Asian (or even half Asian, I assume) in America, you really straddle trying to tie your two identities together into one single being where you don't feel Asian enough to be Asian or American enough to be American since you're not white, and that's something that I've really struggled with and only recently really consciously realized that I've been grappling with my whole life. I think it's an interesting discussion since so much of Asian-ness is centered around this push to be better and move forward and in that, we get this sense of self-erasure, such that young Asian Americans so often feel lonely in their experiences. I always resonate with you talking about your Asian heritage and identity, so thanks.

[@Tiffstylexoxo]

I don't know why but she looks so similar to Halsey 💕

[@JuliaMazzucato]

I never realized how much I needed this. I'm white-passing Japanese, biracial like you, and (might be? idk) bi. I was always raised with the asian side of my favorite very conservative and expecting me to be everything you described in this video. We have those Confucian values embedded in our Asian culture that revolve around honoring your family and sticking to tradition and the lack of acceptance, even if it's in the subtle microagressions, have always bothered me in that respect. You hit the nail on the head with this video. ❤️

[@williamlarson3561]

You are amazing! Thank you!

[@urarasakakibara]

This video is much needed!!! I as a hundred percent (not confirmed by DNA test but assumed) Japanese female living in Western Society, I feel a racism if not racial expectation that I am quiet, submissive and vulnerable (and being a tiny framed body with 4'10 could have added this value as well). As a straight eastern asian female, I feel enough of the oppression from the majority, I cannot imagine how women of LGBTQ+ AAPI feel. This cross/intersectional minority talk should be discussed in public space more often.

[@Ameliagarcia290]

I love u so much u are my favorite youtuber is the world I hope you are Doing good in life 💖

[@MatthewJones-cl1sb]

Amelia garcia *u

[@CodeByRachelle]

That was a nice thing to say. Thanks for spreading nice feelings.

[@FireAndLightning]

I always find it very interesting to learn about other humans, especially when people are different from myself. Really good and strong of you to make a video like this, and like other before (and after) it. Saying to people that this is how one person can be, being a good role model for not just younger people, but actually for people your age and older. Everyone needs this type of video to watch and get the message that everyone is not cut from the same cloth.

[@LovesDarkBlue]

Wonder how many times she's gotten the "psh you're not REALLY Asian" bit from others

[@MissEllieRigby]

Ingrid!!! I’ve been watching you for YEARS but never knew you were half Thai!!! I am half Cantonese half Caucasian. Waiting for my 23 & Me results! :)

[@alyssacartwright1944]

Love you girl!

[@That1One1Girl]

This is honestly the first time I've heard of you being Thai! I feel so inspired and proud as a Thai American TT0TT

[@laurencashman6668]

Hey Ingrid, at 18:59 I think what your referring to is "add mixture." Like My moms family is FROM Honduras but we are still a mix of indigenous, conquistadora, slave trade etc. Check out Masaman at: (kzbin.info/door/1vVNQN-TCy8d3Mb_Owr2Kw) for more dope videos about people/ethnic studies/history and more.

[@3BottlesUpOnTop]

I'm gay and Indian, and I've had the same experience of being told to stay quiet, and I've recently come to the conclusion that understanding the cultural context of that request, and agreeing that it would be good for me are two very different things. So now I need to figure out how to re-come out, and how to speak out about these things that I've spent so long trying to stay quiet about.

[@amybighouse]

I'm straight and white #boring but love your videos because you're such a good speaker and so so so smart :) keep it real girl! Xo

[@yannn2x]

I definitely have experienced something very similar to making a personal decision that went against my family's wishes/expectations. I was met with that 'silence', the 'shame', I was told that it wasn't necessary, and even threatened with being disowned... It made me so sad and discouraged, but I think it was also the same time I realized how important and essential taking this step was -- and it further solidified my decision. Six years later and I wouldn't change a thing. I've had a variety of reactions (good, bad, confused, etc) from family and other filipinos, but overall I've been met with so much support. It's been a wild and emotional roller coaster (and still is), but my experiences have taught me how important it is to stand up for things I believe in and not be afraid to go against the tide.

[@Bmdeleonn]

I love you so much ingrid

[@sophiamclean23]

You are so eloquent and well informed. This video was incredibly eye opening to watch. Thank you for making it and adding to this important conversation! xx

[@sarahbollinger2658]

Damn yo eyebrows done grew

[@tressaturben2421]

Ingrid, your vocabulary and highly intellectual conversations here on KZbin are very welcomed. I would 100% love to dive into a book by you. Your Darling essay is a teaser to what you could produce more of. Have you thought of writing more to your followers? Keep learning and loving. All love, Tressa.