Inside the mind of the ESTJ

[@isabellecampos5277]

I’m an INFP trying to understand my opposite

[@christiancarter255]

Good for you though! That is awesome.

[@gabrielam.7681]

Ha, same 😂

[@OdysseyHome-Gaming]

Me too... Because my Dad is ESTJ. 😓 Mum is ESFJ. I wish to be worthy of my suffering.

[@genuinesiopao6620]

OdysseyHome it’s like the opposite for me haha My mom is Estj and my dad is Esfj

[@shahda.a7944]

Word!

[@mywednesday5487]

I'm an ESTJ surrounded by F types.. my best friends are INFP,ENFP,and ESFJ. They help me to become kinder and more humane and I'll be forever grateful for that

[@georgiawinfield4152]

as an estj, i will say, this is extremely accurate

[@lovewho]

Glad you agreed with it! ~ Nathan

[@ud2181]

don't hurt me

[@ud2181]

joke I'm an estj too

[@hamidbahmanabadi5087]

I have an estj sister( I'm aa enfp man) we couldn't stand each other as teens and then as young adults. We haven't contacted each other for about 3 yrs. Im soooo glad that we decided to not see or get in touch with each other in any sort. Two completely different personalities. I wish her best but don't need or want her!

[@jordanbatka033]

As an ENTP, everybody collectively dislikes ESTJs. They say INTP is a good potential match but I beg to differ, INTPs are brought up because they must have a potential suitor like every type.

[@starlight099]

I’m an ESTJ and I have an extremely developed Fi. I love to lead but I always take into consideration peoples feelings. I usually do everything I can to not hurt people and sometimes sugar coat the truth. However if it’s someone in my family who I’m really close to, I will tell them the truth bluntly bc I know they can handle it, if I know they can’t then I hold my tongue.

[@blind5211]

INFP here (at least I think so) and I appreciate this kinda treatment. Although I personally wish to be told truth after all. For me what matters a lot is that the person reveals the truth with compassion, kindness, respect. If I can feel it in their speech, it really helps. In other words, if they hate my mistakes, but love me (or at least respect me and don't hate me), it really helps. If not, it's harder to take it in. What also feels very nice if "you're doing this wrong" is replaced with "here's how to do this right". But yeah. I'm not saying that everyone would always prefer to have the truth revealed, of course.

[@quintuplebanned4267]

✨ Aren’t you precious. You think you know you. It’s okay, I do, I think it’s sweet, but also at times, annoying, how sure you people are.

[@blind5211]

@@quintuplebanned4267 how can someone know me so well if they never met me and don't even know who I am, in person or from distance? Nah. All they can is study my type. But nobody matches their type 100%, in my opinion. When somebody has such a mindset - "Oh, I know you so well like you don't know yourself" - that's when I find it bothering. To me it feels like unwillingness to accept to be potentially wrong. As if you're saying "Oh, believe me, I can't be wrong about who you are, because between us only you can be wrong". Like, what's the point of this mindset? You're still not me. You don't *actually* know what's going on inside me, my thoughts, my beliefs. You could take some very good guesses, yes, but you still won't *actually* know. And when someone denies that, that just heavily discourages me from even trying to prove them wrong. Because are they even willing to be wrong anyway? Are they even willing to see me being beyond their image of what I "am", or will they label every single violation of their image as my *supposed* self deception? I lose my wish to open up to someone who thinks like that. I don't wanna make you feel offended or anything, but that kinda mindset, I find it very difficult to tolerate. Just wanted to let you know because I'm probably not alone. And I don't wanna fight you. I wanna make peace instead. I don't think you're a bad person. It's just that mindset that I find hard to get along with. It doesn't have to mean that the person is bad. They're probably nice, just very different from me. So I apologize if something I said sounded offending. And something I wanted to ask, would you enjoy or even tolerate being treated in such a way?

[@sanjaymohammedthe3rd249]

You’re not an ESTJ

[@hirsch4155]

@@sanjaymohammedthe3rd249 I agree man this sound more like ESFJ or ENFJ. First of all ESTJ don’t really gravitate to leading people, second of all if they do they’re not going to sugarcoat.

[@jeanette2475]

ESTJs get a lot of hate but they're one of my favorite types...they're all blustery and full of adorably crazy energy and if you can have a sense of humor about how brusque they are, they usually take it pretty well

[@NathanJGlass]

Agreed! Well said.

[@sweetsourcandies5607]

🥰 I'm estj and feel loved

[@gliterz4340]

They hate us cause they ain't us

[@CristhinaJSilva]

Gliterz I can definitely relate to that feeling. They hate that we’re good at what we do

[@maylynbayani]

@@mithakusuma i used to feel like i have to walk eggshells but one of my mentors said that we all know that you're choleric (bossy) and I realized i was left unsatisfied with results by sparring other's feelings. So I just tell them upfront, I will consider your feedback but we are all going to do our best to produce results.

[@anggiagustatiurinaharahap9092]

Dont tell estj they're being mean. Tell them, they're being wrong then estj will understand better. As an estj, i struggle understanding people's feeling. But i can understand that making people upset could make a worse situation.

[@lovewho]

Good point! ~ Nathan

[@jankyyard5610]

They'll tear you apart first before contemplating how they are wrong.

[@sweetbeep]

Why can't we tell them they are being mean? I'm ESTJ.

[@irwinmaulana3981]

Stop being bossy, ENTJ are much better than you. -INTJ

[@countryball_unknown]

this is so true we’re not mean, just somehow brutally honest

[@teacup2301]

two very close people in my life are ESTJs (my dad and my best friend) and on the surface they can appear very harsh with their words, but the warmth and loyalty that they feel towards their loved ones is sincere and unmatched. not to mention that they're hard working in a way that i personally (an INTP) feel inspired by. definitely one of my favourite types, thank you for making this video on them!

[@LDT7Y]

ESTGs are the worst!

[@aplusmerchant2281]

Yeah but they think they are always right and bully you when you point out they’re BS

[@andyroobrick-a-brack9355]

@@LDT7Y Why the hell do you hate then so much? God, it's like you discriminate people based on an unproven type code. I het it, there are many unhealthy ESTJs, but I garuntee that you and many others here are just as unhealthy in your own ways, especially considering you're using the ESTJ code to hate an entire group of people.

[@LDT7Y]

@@andyroobrick-a-brack9355 You missed the joke, as the OP has corrected the mispelling now. Originally it said 'ESTG'.

[@andyroobrick-a-brack9355]

@@LDT7Y Oh...forgive my lack of common sense.

[@pavithraselvaraj4]

My mother is an ESTJ and I am an INFJ. The struggle is real and being an empath, I am trying my best to get into her mind. This was really well organised and helpful!

[@fathiadnan1468]

My father estj and I infj

[@traditionalgirl3943]

The ESTJs I know are good-hearted people who are just not so skilled at relating emotionally. But they demonstrate a lot of love through their actions. Appreciate them and they blossom. 🙂(ISTP) They are unpleasant when they are stressed but I have learned to give them space and instead of just pointing out how awful they’re being I try to let them know I know they must have something on their mind and that I am here for them when they calm down. They appreciate that someone sees that they are hurting and still believes in them. 👍

[@NathanJGlass]

Agreed - they love them some acts of service

[@samuel-ds2wk]

literally how- me and my estj friend butt heads all day and he is too egotistical and narcissistic to hear from someone with a logical mindset

[@rita-ri1dc]

That’s precisely the right thing to do!! u get us so well!

[@stevedavenport1202]

ESTJs are great supervisors and middle managers. They DO not have under rated forcefullness..everybody knows

[@sinamuller4312]

Thanks, thats good

[@MM-gk1tm]

Rewatching this video I am reminded of how good it is. As an ESTJ I can't emphasize enough how beneficial it is to add "Take time alone to work on your Fi" and "consider other people's feelings" to the ever-present to-do lists. Do other ESTJ's also feel that they almost can't identify what their emotions are until they are literally alone in a room?

[@natashamargarette8394]

ESTJ here. Definitely takes me usually at least a week plus to process my emotion because I’m always scheduled thru the roof. For me, it’s draining to process emotion, so I schedule it in once or twice a week for efficiency’s sake and then just have my breakdown and move on 😂

[@9wayy10]

me rn

[@sweetbeep]

ESTJ here. I experience emotions on the spot and don't need to "process" them. I would not like to have feelings that are so terribly uncomfortable like feeling people get. Can't imagine. My feelings are uncomfortable enough.

[@preciousgoje2193]

I had an estj who always had a stick in his car. When I asked why he needed it, he said to fight people who were driving crazy on the road. I (infj) and my infp mother started laughing

[@arlettasloan6453]

I must compliment you on your choice of melody at the beginning of your videos. It says to me, "You are about to learn something, and that is going to be a good thing to have done." Brilliant!

[@8114Roberta]

its so nice to hear a positive opinion on estj. we are so unpopular in the mbti community. i do get the struggle with understanding how other peoples minds and feelings work. doesnt mean im not trying to be considerate. just means when i step on someones toes, i need them to tell me. and trust me nothing hurts an estj more than hearing theyve hurt someone else. personally i think succeeding feels best when you arent doing it alone

[@TaxingIsThieving]

Mistyped ESFJ

[@8114Roberta]

@@TaxingIsThieving I'd say self aware and with an INFJ for a best friend who taught me a lot. :)

[@357Dejavu]

My wife is an ESTJ and I love her a lot, I don’t get her but I love her. I am an INFP male.

[@gabrielam.7681]

... Well... You're brave, I'll give you that. Good luck in your relationship.

[@loony3822]

wow... I'm an INFP and my mom is an ESTJ, and idk, can't ever imagine marrying someone with the same personality type. But I guess that when 2 adults are willing to put effort in a relationship it can work out right. So yeah, my best wishes to you and your wife!!

[@357Dejavu]

uncovered loonatic thank you! It could be hard if we let it get that way, I had to work on being more assertive and she had to work on letting go a great deal but over all it’s great now. If it wasn’t for her I would never have finished grad school. The effort you are willing to give is much more important that your personality type (barring any abusive behaviors).

[@aureatewarrior]

Interesting. I'm an ESTJ and my girlfriend is an INFP... and I guess what they say is true. Opposites attract haha but I hope you both stay together for years to come. Kudos to you sir.

[@357Dejavu]

@@aureatewarrior thanks!

[@genericbotface]

LOVE. My boss is an ESTJ who has worked on the Fi inferior thing and there is very little about her that I don't strongly admire. Underrated AF.

[@lydiay9030]

as an ISFP. I love ESTJ’s ambition, indifference and initiative. They make up a good amount of the population. Without them, we wouldn’t have the world we have today.

[@YEDxFILMS]

If I had to have anyone by my side in a business, it’d be the Estj. As an INFP, I’d control the vision, and the ideas, and the Estj would help me stay grounded in reality

[@pamelatxnc]

Y’all would fight and disagree on literally everything

[@andyroobrick-a-brack9355]

@Yilling Daddy That's what your experience tells you. My dad is an ESTJ and he's one kf the kindest people I know.

[@avad5839]

@@andyroobrick-a-brack9355 Yep, similar experience! I'm an INTP. ESTJ's and INTPs are supposed to be awful with each other, but my mom is literally the backbone of my family. She's probably the only reason our house looks presentable, and the only reason I'm in creative writing and outer space programs (passions of mine). Yeah, sure, she'll get upset if I'm not organized, or if I leave my papers all over my desk, but she's honestly a great mom. And for the record? Just because someone's an ESTJ doesn't mean they're a Karen.

[@gurpreetkaur6939]

As a business-wise ESTJ are the best ngl, their strategies are really intriguing

[@gurpreetkaur6939]

@Xie Lian same

[@101Sailorfan]

I am a ping ponging estj and esfj, it just depends on the situation generally or the environment. It used to bug me that people didn't like estj's but i don't care anymore because I'm more confident in my personality now. I think a thing people don't realize is we judge ourselves the most. I have a really hard time with people who are free spirits, but I've gotten better.

[@heatherbryant4197]

Funny story: When I was about 19 or 20 I rented an apartment a few blocks away from my ESTJ grandmother's house. One day my boyfriend and I were having sex ... and I was really loud because our roommate was at work so no one else was home. All of a sudden we hear the sound of someone in our kitchen. 😲 Was it a burglar? I hear paper bags rustling and the sound of the refrigerator door open. We both looked at each other, bewildered, and tried to be as quiet as possible. 🤫 A few minutes later the noise stops. We cautiously open the bedroom door and go out into the kitchen. No one is there. I open my refrigerator door to see a bunch of random food stuck in there, and canned goods in the cabinets. The ESTJ Fridge-Stocker strikes again! Defender of fridges; destroyer of boundaries! 😅 Granted, we had a really bad habit of leaving our front door unlocked, but who just lets themselves in to an apartment they don't live in? ESTJ, that's who! How dare you not appreciate their unsolicited help! 😂🤐🙃

[@NathanJGlass]

Awesome story!

[@jeanette2475]

This story should be in every MBTI's site's profile on ESTJs. Also my ESTJ brother once took my car keys while I was asleep and cleaned out my car because he "appreciates a challenge" (and I am an INFP, so it was very, uh, challenging).

[@Anita-silver]

I can relate to much of this video and enjoyed it, however, I'm an ESTJ who wouldn't consider entering someone's house in this way as being appropriate and boundaried is important to me. My Fi is quite strong - enneagram 4.

[@AK-jt7kh]

@@Anita-silver It might have something to do with the generational gap. During “Grandma”s day, walking into someone’s unlocked house if they were part of your family was probably more expected. It’s less acceptable now because children don’t live with or near their parents as a typical lifestyle choice anymore, and more people lock their doors and have larger spaces to live in with more privacy.

[@nerysghemor5781]

Oh wow! In my mom’s case it’s more often VERY unsolicited advice. Or cleaning even when IMO I actually cleaned things up pretty well before she came over. This story makes me grateful I’m single!!! 😳

[@jennifer6710]

god. I sound like a workaholic sociopath

[@robmangeri777]

My wife initially tested as an ISTJ but she was not happy with the overall description of the type in relation to herself and after studying the cognitive functions she was convinced that she tested inaccurately which is funny because she is a genius and excels scholastically. She had been convinced somehow that she was an introvert which threw her off I think. I think she more accurately retyped as ESTJ this week and these videos offer good support for this finding. She has always been a very natural leader and although she can be very thoughtful she truly does not care what most people think when she makes decisions. As an ENTP myself we make a somewhat formidable pair in some ways but we both desire for truth and to love the people around us and to be blessings to them.

[@saritasarit]

Im an ENFP married to I think an ESTJ as he doesn’t want to do the test but this is so accurately him. Ive NEVER met such a productive person as my husband, he finishes his managerial job by 7 o’clock in the morning before starting his triathlon training, always pushing himself and still having time to see all his friends, all the time...as an enfp i find it fascinating, we balance each other very well. Ive learned to be more efficient, he more in the moment and relaxed, we are both quite adventurous, our have similar concepts of living out our morals... It doesn’t seem likely in theory but we are a great match, married for 7 happy years and have 3 children.

[@MelanieHooks]

As an ENFP, this makes me very happy to hear 😉

[@user-pk5pl7ox1e]

Thanks for sharing! How ate they as fathers? What is the emotional connection with wife and kids?

[@user-pk5pl7ox1e]

What's ESTJ love language?

[@fitra402]

@@user-pk5pl7ox1e im estj and my love language isa quality time, saying i love u 100x/day and being annoying to my favorite person.

[@Arianita2001]

I found your video very accurate! Hahah My boyfriend is a ESTJ and I'm an INFP. We've been together for 7 years now. Through the years we learned to understand we're different and that's alright. We ended up complementing and learning from each other 💛 I really love his personality ✨

[@zilvy4594]

Is he romantic?

[@Arianita2001]

@@zilvy4594 Yes! He's very romantic and sweet. Time quality is important to him, and so he likes to organize cute dates on important days, or activities to do together every now and then. He's also quite creative when it comes to making gifts and such (intangible gifts mostly). I hope that helps you

[@Arianita2001]

​@Josh Mulvaney Even tough he's more apathetic towards general things and his mind works in straight ways, he said he likes my inner world and the conversations we have because of it. Most of the issues come from when I'm sad or frustrated because I do have complex emotions and thoughts that sometimes are a bit hard for him to understand, but most of the time he does respectfully let me be. I'd say he now learned how to respond in those cases and be more empathic, like letting me vent and supporting me. It was a two-way work we had to do. I learned to be very clear so he can understand me and he learned to express himself so I can know what he thinks and feels. Always with respect.

[@Arianita2001]

@Josh Mulvaney Hahah, may I ask your type?

[@Arianita2001]

@Josh Mulvaney Yeah, I get it haha I guess INFPs are indecisive because of that Fi-Ne dynamic, considering a lot of options and what they think of it. The other things, like bad at accepting advice it's probably because they're immature. To be honest, I'd say most INFPs tend to be unhealthy ones, the stereotype of cry baby who doesn't get anything done because they live in their heads. And I find it kind of sad because I think a broad inner world (imagination and awareness of emotions) shouldn't be linked with being an inefficient or toxic person. I found your explanation funny, about INTJs accidentally bullying INFPs, because it's soo true. I had an INTJ friend with a (possibly) INFP girlfriend and it didn't turn out well for them, and he thought she was mostly irrational. So I see maybe INTJs are prone to close themselves to their own ideas and conceptions, like INFPs, because they "know" what's more logical or efficient thanks to their Ni-Te. I've seen ESTJs and INTPs like that too, kind of lacking more flexibility to understand others or being strict with their opinions, and they are Te dom and Ti dom, respectively. In our ESTJ-INFP case, we're both equally creative but he tends to quit easily when he gets bored, and needs more incentive to do things in the first place. I always try to encourage him to do what he wants but it's hard. So I kind of see that INFP in charge of an ESTJ because they really have that polarity of being a great leader and finishing tasks. It's like things being mandatory gives them the incentive they need. And about the simping.. yeah, he admits being a simp and I simp for him too hahah We both like recognition in our work, and I see that reflected in our relationship.

[@margaretdrumm6658]

Two things: Firstly, you killed me with the Si users and the fridge! My ISTJ friend used to periodically organize the fridge in our college dorm, and she would get very annoyed at how long people left expired food. She also loved to-do lists, rules, and traditions . . . who would have guessed! Secondly, if you're an INFJ--or any introverted feeling type, really--don't even try to keep up with the ESTJ's energy. It will not end well for you. :) I used to think I was a driven and focused personality, and then I met an ESTJ who somehow managed to stay on top of a huge class load, maintain a full spiritual life, organize innumerable social events for the class--and then graduate valedictorian. It took me a while to realize that I wasn't lazy, I just . . . wasn't him, and never would be. Also, for all you said about the ESTJ tendency to run round in very efficient circles, he often seemed to maintain a better big-picture perspective than I did. When I got stressed about the details he would often remind me of the ultimate reason why we were studying, i.e. to become a better person, rather than to get good grades.

[@jasminemariedarling]

I'm an infj with an estj husband. He is amazing! Frustrating as hell, because we think so differently, but a wonderful person.

[@lovewho]

INFJ/ESTJ is an interesting combo! ~ Nathan

[@umummiii4759]

Samen here. Im infj-t and he estj

[@loredanalewis3320]

Pls let's drop tips on this thread.how do you all manage?

[@jasminemariedarling]

@@loredanalewis3320 Haha, I hear that. There should be a support group for wives of ESTJs. After 10 years of marriage I've learned not to expect him to baby my feelings. Can be hard but it is what it is..Draw strength from God and talk with a close friend or family member if empathy is desired. I need to be very direct & always tell him what I want to do. He's a pretty simple man- give him sex and food, he's happy. 💕

[@loredanalewis3320]

@@jasminemariedarling wow I'm so glad you responded. Just barely 2 years married and I am studying, researching, praying and just trying to do right by him (do my part) if you know any group or wives with estj husbands, pls hook me up. We really need that support system ♡

[@nope6601]

underrated estj aspect: they can be lazy. i'm an estj. i dont have any particular big goals. My high Te is sorting out goals i cannot achieve and automatically searching for easier goals i can achieve with minimal effort, because i'm lazy and have a learning disability. I have great planning skills and i usually have the agenda of my friends in mind bc i'm the only one who can keep track of anything. i personally don't have an agenda, bc i use my skills to maximize my freetime. people tend to not believe me when i say i'm an estj. but i am one. i def have high Te and my Si is undeniable. i just don't use my functions like the others incredible workaholic Te doms. I use my Te skills to benefit my own pleasures and that's why i also have a good Fi grip. Most people tend to associate high Te with workethic, but they forget that not everyone uses their function to achieve the same goal😅

[@MrEvldreamr]

They're only lazy if they have no goals

[@garbageMoonkey5834]

Basically: Go find a job and you will suddenly will became the workaholic... That's life, mostly if you are part of the Te.

[@Striderez97]

INTP here, been dating an ESTJ for 4 years. We couldn’t think more differently but always have incredibly intelligent conversations that just come from different perspectives. I found it to be incredibly rewarding overcoming differences and coming to better understand someone who’s implements such thoughtful structure into their life.

[@LDT7Y]

INTPs are the best. Love you guys! 😊

[@TaxingIsThieving]

@@LDT7Y Are you an ESTJ?

[@TaxingIsThieving]

How's it going now?

[@stevedavenport1202]

A very accurate description of the ESTJ. I have known many of them. The smart ones delegated the Fi to somekne else.

[@NathanJGlass]

Well said!

[@stevedavenport1202]

@@NathanJGlass This is, ahem, direct observation from my work place.

[@stevedavenport1202]

@@annsmith936 Heavens no. I am an INFJ.

[@LadyIarConnacht]

I actually really like ESTJs. I find their endless enthusiasm refreshing, their bluster pretty harmless, even funny, and their arguments sometimes interesting and well-researched. I don't think I could live with one, though. I have an ESFJ husband and he has that same inability to leave other people alone to say, get some sleep.

[@NathanJGlass]

Ok I agree, living with them is a whole different thing!

[@f.p1758]

@@NathanJGlass how so?

[@smiley-wu1kn]

I'm an INTJ who's very into the farthest future. Having an ESTJ mother who has realistic visions/insights and makes practical decisions keeps me from straying so far from reality, and if I ever do so, she'd be the one to pull me back to the moment. It was a good balance for me actually, even though she doesn't understand why I'm always in my head and says I'll go crazy bc of thinking too much.

[@ANGEL-eh6pd]

Wicked good and so very true. Your description of ESTJ's is right on mark. My son is just exactly like that too. I can work with ESTJs,, if you let them boss you around and lead you. They try to outsmart you too. As a ENFP, I had to learn to be tough with them, they can be bully's too, if you let them. Lol

[@meilei8716]

Just coming to realize I’m an most certainly an estj who lived a lengthy period in the shadow as infp (teen years) As an adult it’s cool to see the executive traits I exhibited as a child are coming back and I’m taking to them so naturally. Understanding now that I was told to back off so much as a youth that I became afraid of using my own strength. Still waver internally about that some but I freeze it out more often than not and am always happy to find those who I show up for show up for me to make it all worth the naysaying Edit: gotta work on that Fi inferior tho. That is literally my most reliable weakness and so frustrating because the growth there is so slow 🤦🏻‍♀️

[@nehadjm]

I'm no ESTJ, and (l think) I've never met one, but still, it's so helpful how you explain each function separately. Thank you!

[@lovewho]

Thank you! ~ Nathan

[@HumansOfVR]

ESTJ absolutely *_Exhaust_* me. Maybe that's just because i'm extremely introverted (99%)

[@NathanJGlass]

Yea they're pretty intense and have zero problem imposing themselves on others.

[@notavideographer]

INTJ with ESTJ mother. I’m so lucky I survived to adulthood.

[@thepropercouchpotato658]

I'm an INFP, so I completely agree that they're extremely exhausting.

[@tomjens2046]

@@NathanJGlass only because they see that something will be beneficial to said person (who often does not see that or is afraid or lazy to take action etc). So that imposing is well meant for the benefit of said person (and said person's hurt feelings are less than the benefit he/she would get). Value over feelings.

[@krdiaz8026]

INTJ to ESTJ: LEAVE ME ALONE! 1 hour later: Thank you for filling up my fridge. Repeat ad infinitum

[@danielabenitez1264]

I got ESTJ in the MBTI test, so this clip is quite useful! Thank you! Also this helps me to get better the inferior functions :)

[@zara2438]

As an INFP having an ESTJ mother is extremely difficult.

[@tamakisuoh4404]

Lol ahhahhsshs

[@ee9459]

I understand you enormously.

[@Ayasa.]

@@nivozen It's as bad as having an ENFJ mom as an INFP, I feel you lol

[@nerysghemor5781]

Haha, I know what you mean! We butt heads bad sometimes. And the icing on the cake is that my dad is an ENTJ. You can imagine the arguments we’ve had!!!! That said I think I have gained a lot from it. My Te is probably more developed than the normal INFP. It’s my Snark Engine. 😈 My Si, however…well, I can keep organized for the most part at work but it runs out of gas the instant work is over!

[@zara2438]

@@nerysghemor5781 I couldn't relate more.

[@ingeborgmikkelsen9078]

Here to learn about my dad! I'm an ENFJ, and he's ESTJ, and I honestly couldn't ask for a better travel partner! I can let him handle the practicalities, and let my control needs chill, because I know everything is in competent hands, AND I get to drag him along to the eclectic places I want to visit and watch him light up as he enjoys it!

[@whateverman187]

My father, down to a T. Even before I knew about MBTI, I knew my father is my polar opposite. I'm an INFP. If I didn't look like an almost exact copy of him, I would've definitely wondered if I was adopted.

[@indybun64570]

My dad is legit the most energetic estj ever and is very adept at keeping himself busy. He tends to be a bit hard on it but I love how he has that sense of what is the correct way to do things while my intj mom is about what is the most effective and efficient way to do things. Together my parents are pretty unstoppable

[@avad5839]

I'm an INTP. Here's my ESTJ mom in a nutshell: Me: mom the teachers are letting my classmates get away with physically harming me My mom: *furiously emails teacher asking why the heck this happened* Me: *leaves paper on the floor* My mom: *proceeds to lecture me and my sister on the importance of organization* Me: Uh, mom? I lost my notebook My mom: *searches for literal hours trying to find this notebook, and eventually does* My closet: *is a mess* My mom: Okay, let's clean out this closet and let me organize it by jackets and sweaters, and then- HEY IS THAT A SWEATER I SEE ON THE GROUND?! Me: *searches my sister's closet for her sweater, with no luck* My mom: *finds it in one minute* I organized your closet by color order, just remember that next time My mom: *sees that the curtains were installed wrong* IS THERE A SINGLE PERSON THAT CAN DO SOMETHING RIGHT IN THIS WORLD?!

[@avad5839]

For the record, my mom is a healthy ESTJ, she's not toxic nor is she a Karen.

[@sweetbeep]

Why don't other ppl see that barely anyone does their job?!?! I'm an ESTJ!

[@TarzanHedgepeth]

@@sweetbeep while it is true that most people do not do their job properly - AGREED - the ESTJ gets into the trap of thinking a little too highly of themselves and thinking less of others because their PRIORITIES aren’t the same…. So, understanding the difference in priorities can boost productivity in others when addressed from the angle of building others to as opposed to everything ONLY BEING ABOUT THE WORK which there is a NEVER-ENDING supply of. The ESTJ is in danger of dying having not done anything except the routine. That could be a good thing, if the routine allowed a little room for the priorities of others, as well. Not everyone is building that pyramid for the SAKE of the pyramid. Some are just trying to get by until they can build their own “pyramid”. Expecting loyalty out of people with different goals is… not getting the whole picture.

[@sweetbeep]

@@TarzanHedgepeth ... building others to ? You mean building others up?

[@alililizzoo5823]

i can relate to all of them and one thing is for sure, estjs do get a hard time. as an ESTJ i have this tendency of not mixing up with people (i have social anxiety) but i like to explore people without their knowledge. suppose im reading a book and the person beside me will see it no differently but actually im observing every movement of that person and making some mental notes about him. and people often get on my nerves knowingly and unknowingly and i can be really mean about it. once they are on my bad side, forever they are. so the problem is, i cant really adjust with others and I LACK HUMOR !

[@Rachelle_Creates]

This is my dad he’s a pastor and the most loving, but everything is black or white! I’m an ENFP we got along very well bc he’s not emotional about things. My husband is an istj and I absolutely adore him he’s my stability and I’m his crazy 😂

[@Sweetcakeyum]

same!! I'm ENFP dating ESTJ. they are really stable like gurlll I'm impressed. I can't even stay calm for like 2 minutes 😂

[@user-pk5pl7ox1e]

@@Sweetcakeyum how long have you been together?

[@Sweetcakeyum]

@@user-pk5pl7ox1e 5 years and still counting ✨

[@user-pk5pl7ox1e]

@@Sweetcakeyum oh wow! I didn't realise 2 extroverts in a relationship would be a good partnership. You sure are turning me here

[@Sweetcakeyum]

@@user-pk5pl7ox1e my ESTJ is not really stereotypical. He almost act very introvert most of the time. But he has some extrovert traits that can't be denied 😃

[@mjr7910]

OK, you have just been schooled about ESTJ personalities. Now imagine, if you will, an ESTJ married to an INTJ (me). Yeah, I'm sure you get the picture. I drive my husband crazy with my defiance of nearly all rules (unless I feel they serve an important function). My ESTJ hubby is the consummate sheeple. I am immune to other people's opinion of me and he is all about fitting in as the perfect cog. I do envy his seemingly boundless energy. ESTJs have been categorized as Guardians and Steve is very much that way, which I appreciate until he becomes suffocating controlling (can I get an AMEN?). Somehow we have managed to be married 32 long.....long.... long years LOL. He is extremely loyal and hardworking, a workhorse really and I do appreciate this about him. He can stomach a ton of boring routine which would drive me crazy. He is amazed by my ability to predict what he will do. It's not hard predict what he will do when he has doing the same thing for 32 years, ya know? Ah, well.... enough for now.

[@sweetbeep]

..I'm an ESTJ and definitely not a sheeple.

[@sarahberkner]

As an ESTJ the word sheeple annoys me, it was clever for a while but now it's ironically cliche for someone bragging that they're not cliche. Sometimes we trust people that are "experts" because it's easier than doing the research ourselves, sometimes we don't really trust them but also don't care enough, which is the case with me and politics. Ni is our blindspot (although we still use it a little) and sometimes Ni doms can seem too conspiratorial to me. Like they'll say a group of people have a plan to make you think a certain way, and I'm thinking, no you're giving them way too much credit. The government is too dumb to be manipulating you.

[@DRAVIASTUDIO]

You are very talented at describing types. listenning to you make me feel like eating in a great restaurant with a nice subtle piano music in the background while rainning outside .... So comfy I do have an ESTJ colleagues and yes he Full of energy like a nuclear central. For INTJ like me with limited energy it is unbelieveable The amount of things is able to smash down during the day. To operate at the same level of productivity I have to do intermittent fasting While he is Eating and drinking like a monster with almost no effect on health.

[@valemaku6367]

I'm an ESTJ and I want to know more about my own personality. Pls make more videos about ESTJ's, this video helped me so much!

[@john_dee1431]

Good video. This describes my Aunt. Long-time bank manager and later in life taking interest in mainstream political debates.

[@NathanJGlass]

Interesting!

[@nkhavarin]

I’m an estj and I’ve been that since I was a child, but the thing is I was very bossy as a kid and very toxic would I say and somehow manipulative. I could see that none of my friends really liked me for who i was cause I was a very unkind person. But now I’m 14 I’ve totally changed but I’m still an estj and I have a kind of good sense of humour and I’m trying to understand empathy more and more and respect peoples opinion and stuff. :)

[@melissa7777]

Love it "often overlooked powerhouses" and yes our energy is massively high, people tend to think its my coffee that makes me hypo, when really it was just a good night of sleep haha

[@MM-gk1tm]

I tried quitting coffee once and felt exactly the same. It's like I've had the coffee already when I get up. A blessing and a curse.

[@tessy4018]

ENTP dating an ESTJ. We compensate for each other’s weaknesses and admire each others’ strengths.

[@MattLetsPlays]

My (i assume) ESTJ mom is persistently nosy when it comes to my everyday tasks. She likes to constantly know how I'm doing in life from an objective perspective. It is something that I had to get used to, but end up appreciating since it helps me to keep in check with reality.

[@NathanJGlass]

I also think my mother is an ESTJ.

[@person1858]

@@NathanJGlass Mine too. I'm an INTP and I find her sort of inflexible but her heart is in the right place.

[@sweetbeep]

So her being nosey is part of ESTJ? How?

[@r12-z1v]

An ESTJ proposed marriage to me and set a timeline for my answer, saying if I didn't meet his deadline, he would marry someone else that he was dating. He was unlikely to be dating someone else then (I just knew this... I'm an INFJ), so it was likely a lie, but was said to force my hand by making me jealous. I did not meet his deadline. Lol. The funny thing is that I might have married him if he had not tried to rush or manipulate me. He did have some good qualities. But I had a lucky escape! Some people have zero people skills & a marriage between us would have been a disaster. Haha

[@kreid5150]

ESTJ here. Shockingly accurate.

[@pernille7662]

I’m a ESTJ and I don’t really care about people’s feelings, I don’t have empathy, but I like to lead and have control so it’s kinda accurate I guess

[@AK-jt7kh]

Fe is more the empathy function. You have Fi and it’s last in your stack. Fi is more about what you personally value than what other people are feeling. What this video is saying is that ESTJs use their Te function to do things for people. It’s not really out of concern for their emotional state so much as it’s out of concern for what a person needs coupled with a desire to get things done. That’s my understanding at least. I think Te would look a lot different in a parent than it does in someone who doesn’t have anyone that depends on them.

[@pernille7662]

@@AK-jt7kh what is Fe, Fi, Te?

[@AK-jt7kh]

@@pernille7662 They are cognitive functions. Each personality type has four cognitive functions that they use to function in the world. The order of the functions shows how often they use them. As an ESTJ, your functions are Te, Si, Ne, Fi. If you learn more about those functions, you'll understand your type better, and where your type's stereotypes come from. It's really interesting - I recommend checking it out!

[@greenturd3356]

Hahah..

[@jacob_massengale]

ESTJ's should be in management (preferably of things), not leadership. Big difference. their lack of long term vision can send them very fast in the wrong direction because they are blind to the ways the environment is slowly changing. Also, if they manage people, they should have an assistant supervisor to help them mediate between them and their subordinates.

[@NathanJGlass]

That's a great suggestion regarding getting a mediator/go-between.

[@austinwilliams8174]

jacob massengale ENTP ideal assistant??for delegation

[@stevedavenport1202]

My ESTJ over lord does that. He has an ISFP to handle the sticky people issues. They make a great team.

[@jacob_massengale]

@@austinwilliams8174 ESFJ would enjoy it the most. INFP (my type) would be best at it.

[@austinwilliams8174]

jacob massengale the best at delagation?

[@olafweyer859]

INFP here. "The amount of energy they have" - Trying to get everyone to do what they want how they want when they want. You make plans that involve me and I'm just supposed to go along. I didn't give you permission, you didn't care to ask, because you KNOW what's right or swell or enjoyable. Why am I so unappreciative, lol? SO exhausting. It takes a lot of energy defending yourself against a bulldozer who sees nothing but themselves and their own ways and sense of what ought to be done or how.

[@delusionalfan]

Omg I'm more convinced that my mentor is an estj through this video lol the checking off of boxes is definitely a sign... now to think about how to better interact with her...

[@saraisanchez3217]

I love my estj friend shes so fun to mess around with and she's helps me be more grounded when it comes to getting things done- entp

[@thatguybutitsactuallyagirl5384]

Funny how I never met an ESTJ in my life, but that's probably because I get out of my house once a month.

[@poughkeepsie8516]

Liana Love hi there. Now you met one 😀

[@thatguybutitsactuallyagirl5384]

@@poughkeepsie8516 Lol, hi!

[@sweetbeep]

I heard that people are drawn to others with slightly higher energy than themselves. I feel like this leaves ESTJ without anyone to feel drawn to!

[@daveofallpeople]

Great video. The Fi explanation was especially good. Well said!

[@NathanJGlass]

Thank you! Glad you like it and cool to see you here in the comments section!

[@avocadoperson]

I am an entp with an estj mom and look, i love her, but this is getting more and more diffucult everytime please someone send help ああ

[@avocadoperson]

Also for some reason so many people in the comments seem to be struggling with their estj female family members as well?.. 🤔

[@LDT7Y]

ENTP and ESTJ are a difficult mix.

[@avocadoperson]

@@LDT7Y yes since both are very stubborn but their ways of thinking are very different

[@jessicathespy]

Infj, I had years of rising tensions with my mom until we had a blow out fight where i used my true thoughts outloud (maybe the only time this had happened) since then it's only gotten better. The fight opened a doorway to say when shes being controlling and that I dont agree or shes being invasive in my life and she doesnt understand it at all. We're really close now and she appreciates the honesty even if it's always hard to hear

[@elvillivle]

I think my mom is ESTJ. I'm ENTJ so that's probably why we agree on many things like how to improve other people's life but we absolutely don't agree when I talk to her about my plans. She always tells me to be practical. Sometimes she's right though and so I'm lucky I have someone like that to keep me from charging when I'm overconfident and being blind on purpose to small annoying details that prove that my plan is flawed.

[@lollllcsgo8829]

The problem with being an ESTJ is that you face the world linear, you simply don't have a world where it serves as it comes. But I've found some good mental tools that prevents me from being as systematic and more intune with life outside of the concept of structure. Another hard thing with ESTJ is acceptance of others feelings mutually, we rarely let others feel except for when we think it's appropriate. That's also something I've with mental training and tools managed to solve. BUT the core stubbornness in a believed value is still the hardest part to get mentally trained, I'm on that journey of overcoming that principle that I don't always own the right answers to everything.

[@lizdi2813]

“Efficiently, productively, masterfully... going round in circles.” OMG yes👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

[@s.b.7121]

"Having introverted feeling inferior manifests as not respecting other people's individual values" - from personal experience, this is SO true. I would add that, in many cases, it also manifests in not caring at all about other people's feelings (and about the fact that they could hurt them with their words/actions), but it's funny how they become very sensitive when their own feelings are crushed. Just to give an example, this recently happened to me (I'm a female ISTJ). I used to be very close with an ESTJ girl I met at university over 6 years ago. For about 5 years we used to meet very frequently and text to each other almost every day. During the last year we have both been very busy and didn't see each other personally, but we kept texting and sending emails more or less frequently. In June I found out (from a Facebook post of a stranger) that she had gotten married the previous month, without even saying a word to me, even though we had texted each other in the months and weeks prior to her wedding. This hurt me a lot. I didn't want to be invited at all cost, but it hurt me that she didn't even tell me - it made me feel like I meant nothing to her, while she was important to me (and she kept saying how much our friendship was important to her, so I felt even worse - because I realized it was all a lie or just empty words). She then texted me during the summer, casually and briefly telling me that she got married and that she was having a great time. I acted cool about it and told her I was happy for her, but didn't feel like saying anything more than that. Now she texted me again, out of the blue, a couple of days ago. Her message was not particularly affectionate or caring, she just said "it's been a while since we last had a chat, I am free in the next few days if you want to meet" (it sounded a bit like I was the one who had asked her to meet in the first place - while I didn't). I wonder what I should do, now. I'm afraid to meet someone who so carelessly hurt me, I don't want to give her a new chance to hurt me again, but another part of me feels somehow obliged to accept (for some sort of sense of duty). I also know that she had a fall-out with most of (if not all) the people she used to be friends with, so I think that having no one around makes her feel lonely, and that her "very delicate feelings" might be suffering for this - and this is probably the very reason why she texted me, because now that she needs me I could prove myself useful once again. I honestly don't know if I should refuse to see her or accept ...

[@traditionalgirl3943]

S. B., friends speak up about conflicts in a relationship. Instead of nurturing feelings of being offended ask her why she didn’t mention her wedding and let her know you were hurt by that and did not feel valued. If you want a meaningful relationship then be real with her, otherwise you have little depth but a lot of resentment. 🙂 (ISFP)

[@s.b.7121]

@Maureen Brown Thanks for you opinion. Over the last few months, even though this experience hurt me, I have found a peaceful mental balance. I have tried not to think too much about it, so I haven't spent all these months obsessing over this matter - I focused on strengthening my relationships with my other couple of friends and loved ones, and the outcome was pretty good. I don't hate her, but now every time I think about her I can't help but think that she never valued our relationship as much as I did. She knows me and knows I am not an invasive person, I wouldn't have imposed or tried to force her in order to be invited - it's just not me. I always had problems trusting people, and I really trusted her. Now, part of me is nostalgic of the past and of what used to be, another part thinks I should avoid circumstances that could only make me feel miserable again. In case we meet again, I would also feel very embarrassed: should I talk about her wedding, or should I pretend nothing has happened? If I do, I might seem intrusive (she always said she hates intrusive people); if I don't, I might seem cold/envious(I'm not)/indifferent. To quote a recent movie, I don't know if the pieces of what was broken are big enough to fix it, or if it just shattered beyond repair. I think I'm afraid to be hurt again now that I recovered, because I don't know if she truly wants a meaningful relationship, or just a shoulder to cry on after she has alienated all her old friends

[@KanityOnePieceChill]

@@s.b.7121 Obviously I can't say for sure what is going on in her head, but I want to share how it could be. First of all, your views on your relationship can differ, yes, and also the way you see friendship overall. For example, I feel like I stay close to my old friends even though we don't see each other much (living in different cities), and it is enough to write them not too often or even not at all as long as I still feel that red thread. When I come to my town, I schedule in my head meetings with them so we can meet in person and spend some time together. I don't see it like a chore obviously, but it is still a box in my head waiting to be checked. She might think the same. Then, the marriage - maybe she wanted only the closest members of her family to be there and maybe some closest friends? Also weddings should be pretty costly, maybe she didn't have enough money to invite all the people she deemed important? And since you mostly contact through internet, if I understood correctly, she might have chosen the friends she sees often, because they would be the first to ask "Why you didn't invite me?" In any case, if you feel uncomfortable about this friendship, you definitely should talk to you friend and honestly tell her what you think. I am not good at being socially polite, so I can give you no valuable advice for the conversation itself.

[@KanityOnePieceChill]

@@s.b.7121 And also yes, it is possible she wrote you because she felt lonely. I did things like that, but only in romantic relationships. When I broke up with a guy, I would write some other guy who I might not have contacted in a few years but who could be a good option. The thing is... Unfortunately, not everyone thinks of the feelings of others. It is just a logical step - you need someone, you remember your options, you go for them.

[@jeanette2475]

Honestly, this is a classic ESTJ mistake...she probably just had a total blind spot of not knowing how to deal with the fact that she couldn't invite everyone to her wedding so decided to not mention it at all, or something like that. Which I'm not excusing because that's kind of crazy, and you definitely don't owe her anything, but I think if you meet up with her and non-defensively tell her how it made you feel, you could both grow from that! Good luck.

[@mariolis]

my ESTJ mom is a nightmare for me as an ENTP and one of my two sisters (ENFP) while my other sister (ENFJ) seems to be just fine

[@heyman-ng3te]

Entp (intp sometimes) with an estj mother out there. Never hated anyone that much in my entire life

[@heyman-ng3te]

@_______________ she took the test

[@jessicathespy]

@InÊs CaStRo probably because we had to find out why they were so mental

[@luisa146]

I have this theory that if we could assign a personality type to today's world economy/society, it would be ESTJ (an unhealthy one, to be fair). When you said that Ni polr can make ESTJs efficiently, productively and masterfully go around in circles, I thought about how capitalism is structured and how it's bringing us to environmental collapse; how modern life is so bureaucratic, systematic and leaves little space for real individuality (It's so Te it makes me cry, we're almost at the point where the only acceptable way to express your individuality is through your personal consumption, like what you buy, how you dress), and how it's so hard for many people to envision a different way to structure our society because "there's a reason we've always been doing things this way" (Si and the supposedly "right" way to do things, anything else is unreasonable/utopian/hippy nonsense). Last but not least ruthless approach of most corporation to exploiting natural resources and people's work (inferior Fi) to make a profit without looking at the bigger picture and the consequences of their actions (Ni polr). I'm not sure if this makes any sense, but in my head it kinda does, lol.

[@NathanJGlass]

That's a pretty cool theory actually

[@LadyIarConnacht]

Anti-capitalist systems can be even more crushing to individual expression, because they become enmeshed in some kind of totalitarian equality fetish, stealing from the very people they promise to help, destroying the lives of millions because nobody is allowed to take care of their own interests. What I appreciate about Te is that it does allow for everybody to do their own thing, because Te works together with Fi. . Now, envision a million little business owners all doing their own thing, unhindered by government -sponsored huge evil corporations, and that's a beautiful, beautiful thing. It bothers me that people have got this idea that capitalism means the disgusting system that we see now.

[@luisa146]

Katherine Chapman Thank you for your imput! I have a feeling that my response could start a long and heated discussion, but I can't restrain myself :) first thing is, what is it that we have now, if not capitalism? I know it's not pure, unhindered free market as Adam Smith intended, but it's very close, and it's getting closer. Second is, what I'm seeing is the exact contrary of what you said, not government-sponsored corporations, but corporation-sponsored governments. Third, Te is good and necessary as much as the other functions, if it is balanced by Fi; what I'm arguing is that, in this personality/system analogy, this system is unbalanced towards Te similarly to an immature Te dominant personality. Fi values like security for future generations, preserving the environment, beauty, individuality and whatnot are being sacrificed in favor of immediate profit, like a stereotypical immature Te dom would step over another person to advance their career or something.

[@luisa146]

Nathan Glass thank you!

[@nailachoudhury3795]

I think this is very well said

[@Launibu]

I'm an isfp, but my husband is an estj. Estjs have great traits. I might like it since it's different from mine. I love his confidence and take charge attitude.

[@thanhheu4129]

My dad is ESTJ. Of couse there's no need to say about his Te-Si cause it's a powerful combo to his work. And he has grounded Ne-Fi. He has very good Ne which excels in explaining concepts and ideas, which is the thing I'm working to improve. I'm an ISTJ. The thing with blind Ni, I can see that. But I know he's doing the best he can for the company to survive, to pay every month for his employees. As a daughter who look up at her dad, I really admire him, as a kid and till now. He's the backbone of my family, and dear to say that pretty much my paternal and maternal relatives kinda relying on him - financially. So in my life I don't meet a lot Intuitives, but I can say my dad is the most successful Sensor that I know.

[@sarahberkner]

Similar to me except I'm an ESTJ daughter who looks up to her ISTJ dad. And I normally have blind Ni as well so I'm grateful I was raised well in most ways.

[@thanhheu4129]

@sarahberkner yes 💛 Look up to our parents is a good thing because they're well-grounded people who raised us so well in their capability, effort, sweat and tears. There's a lot we can learn from them, the qualities we wish to develop ourselves 😊 And about that blind function - we can combine 2 judging/perceiving functions we have to emulate the function we're not natural at. Like for you, Ne + Si = Ni, means if you have enough whole bunch of Si data, that combines with the possibilities your Ne generates with the Si background, Ne is the main theme here, maybe can formulate Ni. I did the same with blind Fe, Te + Fi =Fe so first I sympathize with others through Fi, then may I will Te - find ways to help them. That applies to people I'm familiar with 😅😄 I think the blind function is just fine if we develop aux and tert function in the right way, accumulated through time. My weakness lies in inferior Ne, so it takes ... my whole life to develop it 😅

[@vaimast]

Protectors of the Earth, make them Genius Natham!

[@wolfie8222]

As an estj with the rest of people in their social situation are free willed if you will and don't go by structure it's a really frustrating system to be I do try my best to go more with the flow but sometimes it's too much

[@Jaimelaffoon]

As soon as he said a To do list psycho I knew I found my Dads personality type. I’m an infp- just imagine that relationship. We used to hardcore butt heads neither one of us budging for very different reasons!

[@uca1748]

I have an ESTJ sister-in-law who is a nightmare....I am an INFJ & she drains my energy. My ENFP sister-in-law on the other hand is awesome & we became best friends over the years...

[@justadult3493]

ESTJs - people who can professionally suck the life of every room they enter. Fun to see them on TV shows, deplorable to interact with them in real life

[@got7bias613]

I am an ESTJ female and I don't know why but I feel like boys are scared of me or like they don't want to talk to me

[@idrk1507]

I’m a girl and I’m scared of ESTJs too 🙏 Good luck sis lmao. At least these boys won’t try to mess with you

[@lindamcgillin2263]

My husband of thirty years! Industrious Loyal hyper energetic and loves loves to do lists ! As an INFJ I appreciate some of the things he does so much while some things I long for are absent massively

[@sweetbeep]

What do you long for? Im an ESTJ, that's why I asked so bluntly! 😆

[@lindamcgillin2263]

@@sweetbeep him to listen to me and not be so busy doing chores and working!

[@sweetbeep]

@@lindamcgillin2263 ...you mean listen to your needs or spend time with you instead of chores? Because listening to your needs doesn't take up much time. But maybe he doesn't even want to stop for just one minute to concentrate on what you say?

[@lindamcgillin2263]

@@sweetbeep yes that is it exactly . He doesn’t like to listen to what I say and I feel lonely. I said why would you marry someone who you don’t want to hear their thoughts? I’m an artist and a writer and it’s a lonely path so I like to talk and Share.

[@sweetbeep]

@@lindamcgillin2263 ...ok can you tell him that you feel that you would feel you matter to him when your thoughts matter to him? And that you want to "work" on a great relationship. He should like the "work" part.

[@sarahberkner]

I'm an ESTJ and I very much get energy from getting things done, so when I'm lazy (watching too much KZbin) or bored I get depressed. Even when I've been stressed out at work I usually prefer that to a job where I'm bored. And I'm not bossy or aggressive like the stereotype, I'm actually shy, but I'm also not a warm, friendly, emotionally caring person.

[@emerald3846]

I think this was spot on

[@lovewho]

This is great to hear! I especially like it when its relating to a type whose videos don't always get huge views! ~ Nathan

[@begumsahera8551]

I’m an estj. But I find myself complicated. I don’t really like being around people. I’m not usually too talkative. But before an exam I’m blabbering the most useless shits and this annoys me so much when I recall what I had done. I’m so clueless about how i feel and at times I’m very careful about others and at times not at all! I’m often lazy but hey I make sure I’m doing what I need to do and that I’m not lacking anything at the end of the day. But still I can’t figure what this uninterest in being around people means(I like to being around people who have deep insights and not just useless though💀)

[@larrysizemore2891]

I as an ESTJ dont really have a...to do list? It just comes naturally to me. I was in a group project the other day and I got sick of everyone twiddling their thumbs so I took charge.

[@sarahberkner]

Well, it doesn't have to be written to be a to-do list. At some point you might find it's easier to write things down instead of trying to remember everything.

[@larrysizemore2891]

@@sarahberkner fair tbh

[@cgarcia660]

I suspect my mom is an ESTJ and, oh man, it is toxic with her. As an enfp stay-at-home mom, I’m a complete failure to her. Nothing is legit unless it produces income and stability. A workaholic her whole life.

[@KanityOnePieceChill]

I feel you. When I see my boyfriend's mother, it is really hard for me, because through her I see all my faults. She is most surely an ESTJ, and when I look at her, I painfully realise how I might come around to people who know me. But did you struck a cord with your comment! Thankfully I am not that bad, but I so hate it when she talks down on others, even people who are employed but as waiters, barbers and such. And if a person is jobless, then expect a full on roast. I just hate this. You are not a failure. I do admit, I don't think highly of my friend who got pregnant as a teen and was spending money her relatives gave her on tatoos and such instead of her child, and not working of course. It is hard for a person for whom work is like the meaning of life to understand people with different values. I am sure she just wants the best for you, but she doesn't realise how harsh it really looks from aside.

[@cgarcia660]

Kanity - One Piece Chill Yes, for sure, very different value systems. But the condescension is unbearable.

[@KanityOnePieceChill]

@@cgarcia660 I understand. I hope you have mental strength to get through it. Continue doing what you think is right. You will never be happy living someone else's dream.

[@cgarcia660]

True! Thanks for the encouragement.

[@heatherbryant4197]

Have you ever read the book Toxic Parents? Regardless of type, I believe there are times when you have to cut people out of your life, or at least moderate the doses you can tolerate them in, for the sake of your own sanity and happiness. Of course, this can be difficult with ESTJs because they tend to not respect others' boundaries, and their children can grow up becoming doormats who struggle to enforce their own boundaries as a result. :/ My grandma is an ESTJ and my mom is an INFP so I've had a front row seat to that shit show my whole life; I have a feeling I have some idea of what you're going through. My grandma would regularly tell her daughters, "I was prettier than both of you when I was your age," in public, among other insults, such as "stupid" and she had a foul mouth when she was angry. That's honestly just the tip of the iceberg, but I'm not gonna bash here. I remember when I was a kid I used to say I waited to be an artist and she would tell me pick something else or you'll end up poor (I was good too!) and when I talked about nursing she'd say why not a doctor 😒 Sometimes it seems nothing is ever good enough for them. I always used to say she just needs something to complain about, but it's actually more like they need problems to solve, so sometimes you have to invent problems for them to solve to get them off your back. That, and accolades and recognition from others, especially in any official capacity, go a long way with them. Maybe send infiltrators in behind enemy lines to say good things about how great of a mother you are behind your back? lol I could give you ideas to manipulate her perceptions, but I think as an ENFP it will be too important for you to be authentic to your true self. Idk, I think especially when it comes to being a mother, it's only in time that you may receive recognition for all your hard work. Just wait til you raise the world's greatest doctor or lawyer, then you'll get your props 😉

[@sharprd]

Me and my mom are both estj and the amount of times we argue is ridiculous lmao

[@idrk1507]

It makes me relieved that my mum is ESFJ and not ESTJ. With how disorganised and angry I can get, she at least understands me whereas if she was ESTJ she would’ve killed me already lmao

[@teebahn]

My father was an ESTJ (I'm INTP). This is spot on.

[@andyroobrick-a-brack9355]

Yeah, same. They can be a bit overbearing when you get on their bad side, but I think the intellectual, smart side of many INTPs can redeem them in the eyes if the ESTJ.

[@juliapid451]

extremely accurate

[@lovewho]

This is great to hear, thank you very much. There aren’t many videos on this type so I should definitely try to change that soon ~ Nathan

[@TheGreatPornholio]

I like being idle often, and i'm 100% an ESTJ. I apparently have become a lazy ESTJ 😅

[@CristhinaJSilva]

I’ve noticed that I can distinguish between “lazy time” and “work time” very well. I really enjoy procrastinating, but when things have to get done, I give it my 100%. ESTJ things 🤪

[@EazyMurphy]

I guess it's because my feelings were invalidated when I was young and one of my exs litterally destroyed my life while I was trying to make things work physically mentally and financially and no one was there that could listen and hear what I was going through so I value efficiency over emotions as that got me way further in life then I've ever been though I do understand how others feel and try to understand how they feel depending on how much they mean to me if I'm being honest

[@simonmeehan362]

Well done!

[@wilburdemitel8468]

As an INTP, being beaten over the head by an ESTJ due to their pedantry was an absolute displeasure

[@youssefehab2716]

I'm jealous of their productivity ≈intp

[@LA-cm9uo]

I'm an ESTJ but very empathetic towards others. It's not that hard! Just practice.

[@coolcatsrthebest4056]

My mother is an ESTJ and I am an INTP. She’s super practical and productive and I’m so the opposite! Just imagine that... 😶

[@readerofareader]

I found it funny, because same!

[@marielle8049]

I'm just here because I want to understand my sister and add peace to the world. *cries in INFP*

[@shelleymead5063]

Yes me to. Im infp female with estj brother. It is very difficult. I can not endure the explosions. Im glad to hve seen this video. Its all true. I appreciate him. Im fine with appreciating him from 25 miles away tho. I know that he will never search infp in order to understand me.

[@greglavine4035]

I am a INFP and become aware ESTJ is my shadow type.... with TE being let's say a powerful tail that needs to be fully developed in my tale....I have all these parts as do you...but I am more driven too complete myself rather than menial projects ... which we have the same store of vast energy as you as apparently, we are mirrors...some differences but many traits we are elbow to elbow...I will turn to study you to finish my voyage....I also hate inefficiency but but have a blind eye to it very much like FI ignorance that needs integration from ESTJ's...FI is a superpower as is TE

[@cornpopisabaddude]

As an ISTP I think ESTJs are pretty hot tbh. So efficient

[@tennilletobin7823]

My hubby. ESTJ can lay around and watch tv longer than anyone I know lol. The couch has his body imprinted in it

[@pugninja7037]

As a entp, I actually get on well with estj.. The two I know walked away, as I was tooooooooo indecisive.. I hated being controlled, shall we met yesterday at 9.09 ..I'm like well let's see.. Shame we were friends. 🤣

[@thebluedot4728]

my estj dad has more energy than anyone ive ever seen lol deff a powerhouse

[@naturalinstinct4950]

I love to have friendly competition with ESTJs.

[@maylynbayani]

As an ESTJ, I can say that we are blunt because sugar coating takes so much time

[@EvergreenOliviaTV]

There's an ESTJ that thinks himself as ENFJ who has high narcisissistic behavior patterns... what say you? - the "correction" was mentioned by someone who's very familiar with MBTI and after thinking about it - it made sense. As INFJ, the clash is prevalent plus we're quite ___ with narcs.