'One mindset shift for sound & secure New Year's Resolutions in 2025 (and beyond)'

[@SpiderTalk5]

I’m not one to start things a new at the New Year or set goals. My healing is year round, a day to day check-in. I signed up for the 21 day Tune-Up the beginning of December. I started the program, did day one a couple of times. Then let it go being deterred by unexpected holiday visits etc. I’ve practiced over the past 35 years of healing to keep going and be kind to myself if I’m not consistent or get off track. My healing is for life. So this morning I started with day one again of the 21 day Tune up, I mean really took the time. It has nothing to do with New Year’s resolutions. It’s just what’s next for me. It really was incredible to take notice of myself and sit with each sensation this morning. A month ago it seemed like just another course. Today I feel encouraged and appreciate the process. Thank you Ilene and your team for making this available.

[@peacheyearth]

I feel like it is all about gently reparenting myself almost when I notice myself overriding my impulses or in soo not potent posture. Like over the holidays I ate so much dense and processed food from stress..but I'm trying to rewire a bit my remembering how good it feels to honour my system with what it needs. Getting in too much of a perfectionist tizz when I fall off the wagon or self sabotage is more taxing. So gently steering myself back here and there is proving to be much more aerated, sustainable and effective :)

[@donteague614]

Absoluetly. I gave my inner kid a name. When he gets sad or mad I give a literal pat on the shoulder to reassure and comfort him.

[@ilsejanssens4608]

Thank you for this, Irene. This really resonated with me. I did SBSM for the first time a few years ago. I remember getting really stressed about being on time & having all my handouts ready for your zoom calls. As an adult I was still trying to be this perfect student. On a zoom call! 😅 I’ll remember what you said about it being like brushing your teeth. I hope this will help me not trying to ”nail it” when doing the exercises, but rather being open to what unfolds. Happy New Year !

[@SpiderTalk5]

I’m 65. As far as learning, academically good grades were not expected. My parents had 10 children, the first 5, newborn to age 3-1/2, me being 2nd oldest. The next 5 came over the next 15 years. My father was an educator, eventually became a principal. Yet, he and my mother never asked to see my report cards. They never knew I failed geometry or that I did well in Algebra. I think perfectionism showed up for me as “I can’t do it right the first time, so I’m just not going to attempt “it”. Give up before I start. Setting goals was overwhelming. I felt accepted if I was “invisible”. My mom fed and clothed us. Yet, day to day learning, I seemed to be on my own. I felt withdrawn, ashamed, afraid, most of the time. I couldn’t tell you about my day to day learning as a child except that it shows up in my adult years withdrawn, afraid to make a living for myself, and avoiding my siblings and parents and more. I remind myself that I do love myself because I keep coming back to me. I’m concerned for me. I have high hopes for me how ever that looks.

[@jennifernash7345]

Thank you, Irene. This came at a good time for me. For context, I'll be heading into my 4th round of SBSM this spring. I'm struggling so much with trying to stay on track with the work, as well as all the normal domestic tasks, exercise etc etc. I've been wondering I've developed adult ADD as I can't get organized or stick with anything. I've been struggling coping with life since a teenager, and have been a seeker since then. I've put so much time, energy and resources into healing, but nothing brought it all together and resonated so fully as your work. Finally, at 65+ I believe there's a way to peace and maybe even joy. But, even though I feel this way, I wrestle with feeling defeated - so often feeling like I'm not doing enough, not doing it right, that I'm a hopeless case. But, from time to time I remember that these are very old messages, and they aren't true. It's just a lot to work with, to keep motivated and moving forward. With exercise for example, I love walking and paddling and yoga, and feel good during and after, ... but will more often than not just slump and lose track of the day, and end up not getting moving. Honestly, I think there's an old element of good feeling, autonomy? from "getting away" with stuff, and the not doing of healthy things is a "treat". I have a good work ethic, but it's not automatically working fully on my inner self. As for resolutions, I'm going to pay more attention to those old messages, and how they affect my actions.

[@donteague614]

Yes be an observer of urself always I feel.

[@alicequayle4625]

So as a kid I felt if I didn't do well I was shouted at and if I did do well I was mocked for being a swot. So I stopped trying most of the time. Apart from stuff I really enjoyed.

[@tatianskaia]

thank you for this timely reminder Irene

[@maryannribble3254]

Indeed ! Our many survival “parts and exiles “ are doing what they know how to do to try to help us - soothe and survive ! The process of Life is Eternal ! Thankfully! Blessings to All Us suffering and Working hard - struggling humans !! ❤🎉❤

[@michaelfritz403]

Love it, thank you. I'm realizing this boundary for the first time now in the context of money. I was always short of money and wanted to change it. It never worked out. Now I'm doing it internally for the first time and I can feel that there are limits to the top. It seems dangerous and very old childish feelings come up. Fear. But this fear no longer serves me, on the contrary. I embrace this feeling and recognize it, I can hold it. Let's see if something changes this time. Does anyone know that on the way up, resistance comes up and wants to push you down again?

[@IreneLyon]

@michaelfritz403, great to hear that this vlog resonated with you. I see that you mentioned resistance. Resistance is an experience that comes up frequently in this work. I'll share some links to related resources in case you want to check them out. - Jen from Irene's Team The exquisite untapped life force called resistance - irenelyon.com/2015/12/29/untapped-life-force/ The Force of Resistance & How to Use It to Your Advantage - irenelyon.com/2023/05/31/the-force-of-resistance-how-to-use-it-to-your-advantage/

[@chantalebeauchamp6872]

⁠​⁠@@IreneLyon Thank you for these two resources on the subject of resistance. 🙏 They helped me too. 💖

[@michaelfritz403]

Appreciate it.

[@eleanor4759]

The problem with coming out of deep functional freeze is that it renders you non-functional. It's like you have to recalibrate everything in your life and suddenly you're out of sync with society. Absolutely 100% worth it...but a challenge to put into practice in a sustainable way. ❤

[@northstarearthstar]

Thankyou Irene!

[@northstarearthstar]

I think all my adult life I spent a great deal of energy suppressing the terror I experienced witnessing domestic violence as a little kid. I think a part of me resisted the work because I didn't have the capacity to allow those feelings to release and be felt. It's starting to make more sense as I progress through the work. I like the advice of treating the work like brushing your teeth ...something I just do daily. :) I love these reminders. Ty🙏

[@IreneLyon]

@@northstarearthstar, Jen here from Irene's Team. I hear you re resisting the work because you didn't have the capacity to allow the feelings to move through and be felt. As you may have heard here, focusing on growing capacity first can be important, and this piece has been life changing for many of us. Irene has some resources about childhood trauma that help to put this into context. I'll share some links in case you want to check them out. Preverbal terror: how to identify, release & work with it - irenelyon.com/2024/09/29/preverbal-terror-how-to-identify-release-work-with-it/ Q&A w/ Irene, Seth, & Janice. Special focus on healing early & developmental trauma - Q&A w/ Irene, Seth, & Janice. Special focus on healing early & developmental trauma

[@goalusvocalstudio]

Is there a correlation between discipline and nervous system regulation? I know that I have enough reasons to want to take the plunge into healing myself but the number one reason that prevents me from taking a step including buying your courses is this feeling of, "what's the point, I'm not going to be able to stick with it anyway".. As an artist and a business owner too, I find that I am constantly faced with the need to be consistent but I simply can't find that in my life right now. So how does one build the innate ability to be consistent with your work or with any other healing modality?

[@IreneLyon]

@goalusvocalstudio, Jen here with Irene's Team. Yes, for sure there is a relationship between discipline and nervous system regulation. In the nervous system world we talk more in terms of "agency" - the ability to identify something that we want and to take action to move towards it. The different nervous system states support different behaviors and life experience. If freeze/conservation physiology is dominant in the nervous system, then we will likely find it challenging to take action and have thoughts like "what's the point...". It can be a bit of a catch 22, and often taking really small steps and learning more about what's going on can help us start to shift things. If you're drawn to this work, I encourage you to check out Irene's 21 Day Nervous System Tune Up. You can do it at your own pace, and there are moderators on the course site answering questions when you have them. We often get questions from people who are having a hard time starting or engaging, and we're there to offer support. I'll share a link in case you want to learn more, and I'll also share a link to a resource about resistance in case that's of interest too. The exquisite untapped life force called resistance - irenelyon.com/2015/12/29/untapped-life-force/ 21 Day Nervous System Tune Up - 21daytuneup.com/