Is Going to a Strip Club Cheating?

  Рет қаралды 125,165

The Dr. John Delony Show

The Dr. John Delony Show

2 жыл бұрын

Is Going to a Strip Club Cheating?
Send John your questions. Leave a voicemail at 844-693-3291 or email www.johndelony.com/show. We want to talk to YOU!
Learn how to change your thoughts, change your behaviors, and change your life. Subscribe to the Dr. John Delony’s show!
kzbin.info?...
As heard on this episode:
- BetterHelp - bit.ly/3seoBCe
- DreamCloud - dreamcloudsleep.com/delony
- Churchill Mortgage - www.churchillmortgage.com/Delony
Get John’s new book, Own Your Past, Change Your Future here: bit.ly/3Lmf076
Want a plan for your money? Find out where to start: bit.ly/3cEP4n6
Get John’s Questions for Humans Conversation Cards:
bit.ly/3wkym67
Twitter (@johndelony)
Instagram (@johndelony)
Facebook ( JohnDelony/).
The Dr. John Delony Show is a caller-driven show that offers real people a chance to be heard as they struggle with relationship issues and mental health challenges. John will give you practical advice on how to connect with people, how to take the next right step when you feel paralyzed, and how to cut through the depression and anxiety that can feel so overwhelming. You are not alone in this battle. You are worth being well-and it starts by focusing on what you can control. Let us know what’s going on by leaving a voicemail at 844.693.3291 or visiting johndelony.com/show. We want to talk to YOU!
These platforms contain content, including information provided by guests, that is intended for informational and entertainment purposes only. The content is not intended to replace or substitute for any professional medical, counseling, therapeutic, financial, legal, or other advice. The Lampo Group, LLC d/b/a Ramsey Solutions as well as its affiliates and subsidiaries (including their respective employees, agents and representatives) make no representations or warranties concerning the content and expressly disclaim any and all liability concerning the content including any treatment or action taken by any person following the information offered or provided within or through this show.
If you have specific concerns or a situation in which you require professional advice, you should consult with an appropriately trained and qualified professional expert and specialist. If you are having a health or mental health emergency, please call 9-1-1 immediately.
Watch and subscribe to all The Ramsey Network shows here: kzbin.info...

Пікірлер: 1 100
@sobeliever1638
@sobeliever1638 Жыл бұрын
Don't be a cool wife. Be a wife of character married to a man with character and raise kids with character who will raise grandchildren with character.
@okaydude2863
@okaydude2863 Ай бұрын
Well said
@tylerborntraeger8677
@tylerborntraeger8677 28 күн бұрын
"I"m not like other moms. I'm a cool mom. Right Regina?" Regina: "Shut up mom" We learn this ideology from somewhere people lol.
@FellDownTheCornHole
@FellDownTheCornHole 25 күн бұрын
Reminds me of the “Cool Girl” monologue from gone girl.
@overlandecuador8893
@overlandecuador8893 2 жыл бұрын
Men, as an elder DO NOT GO TO STRIP CLUBS. You are supporting sex trafficking. You are demeaning yourself, the women on the stage and your most important person, your wife, fiancé or committed girl friend. Man up, be a man and stop this.
@janetarmstrong7010
@janetarmstrong7010 Жыл бұрын
Real men in solid relationships don't need to do this for fantasy sex! My opinion only as a female.
@dano8613
@dano8613 8 ай бұрын
@janetarmstrong7010 I agree with you. Then again my wife is a great wife and getting lovin isn't a chore lol
@edwinbz9889
@edwinbz9889 4 ай бұрын
Sit down pops, ima go look at some ass fym.
@Dontrolling
@Dontrolling 4 ай бұрын
Not only sex trafficking but also some of these dancers need real mental help, some of these women have been through terrible sexual abuse in their childhood and it turns into trying to liberate themselves because they “chose” that job and someone didn’t force them to do it. Bad mindset. Same goes for porn. Our “entertainment” comes at the cost of actually helping someone in trouble. As a society we’re trying to make nudity the norm and it only makes it easier to push trafficking right under our noses.
@jimbojimson
@jimbojimson 4 ай бұрын
This was one of the main reasons one of my exes and I broke up, but not because I was doing it. My girlfriend invited me to a strip club, and I explained that I've never had a desire to go to one, I don't know what I would get out of it. She was shocked that I'd never been to one already, and then when I told her I would've considered it cheating if I'd gone to a strip club when I was in a relationship, she acted like I was being ridiculous and she could not be convinced that there was anything wrong with going to a strip club, even behind your partner's back.
@randomlady6899
@randomlady6899 Жыл бұрын
We live in such a permissive society that a wife feels guilty for being less than supportive to her husband going to a strip club
@jamiestinnett9872
@jamiestinnett9872 Жыл бұрын
Absolutely absurd. I'd rather be single for the rest of my life (which I probably will be) than to be married to a man who comes home to me after partying with strippers
@ST-rj8iu
@ST-rj8iu 11 ай бұрын
@@jamiestinnett9872 And spent money for the home and children. Also, strip clubs have back rooms. It is not just stripping.
@pamelarangel7104
@pamelarangel7104 11 ай бұрын
💯 true
@Youneverknow100
@Youneverknow100 11 ай бұрын
The lifebof a man is so so so so much more permissive..and we still get called toxic
@Matt-cr4vv
@Matt-cr4vv 10 ай бұрын
She’s grown attached to being the cool wife but she doesn’t realize that it’s an unwinnable thing unless she is ready to go along with every single thing her husband wants to do. She can be cool with 99.9% of things but the moment she doesn’t go along with something that persona is gone. And that persona only impresses his friends. But if she really is ok with a lot of things if her husband respects her it won’t be an issue for the few things she is against. My wife has always given me total freedom to do what I’d like as long as I don’t cheat and/or harm our relationship and as long as I don’t harm our finances. Because I respect that trust so much I try to not get anywhere close to that line and I know that anything she’d have an issue with is actually a concerning thing for her and not just the stereotype of the nagging wife. For him it should be the same that when she does say she’s uncomfortable that it’s genuinely serious and not some trivial thing for him to be upset about. But that’s requires being respectful of her which sounds like he isn’t.
@LaCantressa
@LaCantressa 11 ай бұрын
The more a caller laughs, the deeper their pain.
@Songbird36able
@Songbird36able 2 ай бұрын
YES YES YES!!
@BboyRacing
@BboyRacing Жыл бұрын
If my wife doesn’t feel comfortable with something, I would respect that and make her feel safe. Period.
@paulinhok3405
@paulinhok3405 3 ай бұрын
Its good to respect her wishes but she shouldnt feel "unsafe" with you going to a strip club
@BboyRacing
@BboyRacing 3 ай бұрын
@@paulinhok3405 because it’s a place of lust and temptation. No need for a married person to be exposed to that.
@paulaprice6949
@paulaprice6949 2 ай бұрын
​@@paulinhok3405Boundries are clarified before married. 😂
@RobStanley2001
@RobStanley2001 2 ай бұрын
@@paulinhok3405Yeah bro I don’t know what kind of relationship you want but in my mind it’s utterly and completely disrespectful to go to a strip club. It’s way worse than having a night out at the bar without your partner. And even that I would consider to be a level of disrespect to the relationship.
@momfromnj911
@momfromnj911 Ай бұрын
Good man 👏
@rachelelizabeth4619
@rachelelizabeth4619 2 жыл бұрын
I'm actually really glad she called in. This was an argument my husband and I had. He made it clear before we got married that he was going to take the higher road and not have strippers at his bachelor party (and he didn't), knowing how I felt about it. After we got married, and were starting to try for our first child; he calls me up one night and wants permission to go to a nude strip club with some friends. The other ladies were 'cool' with it. I was not. Allegedly they were going to visit a buddy who works as a bartender there, and weren't going to specifically look at the ladies. But how does a man walk into a nude strip club, or any strip club, and not look? I made it clear to my husband that if he ever wanted to go, then he could go, but then he can spend the night at his parents house and explain to them why he wasn't allowed to come home. He wasn't happy with me, but I told him, it isn't my place to be his holy spirit and tell him the difference between right and wrong. He should want to make a healthy choice for himself and our marriage, not because I told him to do it. Asking me in front of our friends, just made me feel like the ball and chain. It's a terrible position to put your spouse in.
@sydcash1626
@sydcash1626 2 жыл бұрын
i just never understand how these dudes want to go see strippers. You know none of them would be okay with their wives going to male strip clubs. I'm married only persons junk I want to look at is my husbands and he should feel the same otherwise be single or in an open relationship.
@Alvin-xs7db
@Alvin-xs7db 2 жыл бұрын
How you tell a grown man not to come back to his home lol But yes for sure though if he had any respect for you or your marriage he wouldn't even entertain such an idea to begin with. I bet his friends have bad relationships with their own wives.
@rachelelizabeth4619
@rachelelizabeth4619 2 жыл бұрын
@@Alvin-xs7db It's a simple fact that if any grown person, male or female doesn't value fidelity in the relationship, their spouse has every right to tell them to leave the home. It's a matter of respect and often of safety. The same would be true of people who have to deal with their spouses drug addiction, alcohol addiction, or abuse. There needs to be boundaries of what is considered acceptable behavior. Especially since we are about to welcome our firstborn. And I wouldn't say that our friends have terrible relationships with their significant others. It's just a difference of values between what they consider acceptable and what I consider acceptable. Just like John pointed out about his friends who don't mind strippers.
@rachelelizabeth4619
@rachelelizabeth4619 2 жыл бұрын
@@Austenfan177 That's what I told him. He can visit that guy somewhere else, or they could all plan to go to another bar, or fishing, or any place that doesn't have strippers. There are unlimited options.
@zeal4god402
@zeal4god402 2 жыл бұрын
Feel free to visit mr.bartender, why not visit him when he is tending to his studies at a quiet park rather than a noisy place filled with wicked temptations
@belindagarza3958
@belindagarza3958 2 жыл бұрын
There are men who refuse to go to strip clubs. Don't let them lie to you.
@LearsiMusic1
@LearsiMusic1 11 ай бұрын
Most men I would say 😂
@Matt-cr4vv
@Matt-cr4vv 10 ай бұрын
100%. I’ve gone two times with a group of friends and I hated it both times. And I had the ok and communicated it ahead of time with my wife. And now I don’t go to them and if your friends are true friends they aren’t going to force you to go to a strip club. Sure they’ll give you a hard time and may even try to convince you but if they really care about you they’ll let it go. And after awhile they’ll stop asking because they know you don’t go to them and that it’s a waste of time to try and convince you.
@Holdeenio
@Holdeenio 9 ай бұрын
I don’t have any interest in strip clubs - I’m not 14 anymore.
@chelseaolsen8330
@chelseaolsen8330 8 ай бұрын
My husband has never been to a strip club and never will.
@user-cs4fe1ti4h
@user-cs4fe1ti4h 4 ай бұрын
​@@chelseaolsen8330ok that what you know lol
@Rydrsv
@Rydrsv 2 жыл бұрын
Her next call: “He cheated on me with a stripper.” 🤦‍♀️
@rory644
@rory644 2 жыл бұрын
LOL
@brookebenton8192
@brookebenton8192 Жыл бұрын
😂😂😂
@SaystheTruth3
@SaystheTruth3 Жыл бұрын
Lmao 🤣
@laela6289
@laela6289 Жыл бұрын
Lmao 😂
@legendarybabe5872
@legendarybabe5872 Жыл бұрын
😂
@AnaMT1985
@AnaMT1985 2 жыл бұрын
Why do some woman feel so guilty for having moral standards?? Bizarre.
@graceless000
@graceless000 Ай бұрын
It’s a taught and learned feeling.
@elainenilsson5472
@elainenilsson5472 2 жыл бұрын
Someone has told her that she is wrong for having feelings about this. She is made to feel guilty and she doesn't have the confidence to face him.
@dearbrave4183
@dearbrave4183 Жыл бұрын
Probably the insecure women married to polyamorous men
@elainenilsson5472
@elainenilsson5472 Жыл бұрын
@@dearbrave4183 More like monogamous woman married to a man who lied and said he was monogamous.
@sarahalderman3126
@sarahalderman3126 Жыл бұрын
@@dearbrave4183 or in other words a cheater and a loser. She’s better off leaving the loser now.
@The.Hawaiian.Kingdom
@The.Hawaiian.Kingdom 10 ай бұрын
I don’t think it was “someone” that told her that, so much as just society itself has told ALL women that we’re supposed to be okay with our men going to strip clubs. Back in the day (Victorian era) women were told they were supposed to be okay with their men visiting brothels, that it’s natural for me to have desires for other women and they do things with those other women that polite sophisticated women shouldn’t have to do with their husbands. It was extremely commonplace, to the point that all women just assumed the man they married would frequent brothels. Strip clubs is just the modern day version of that… shaming women into bending to men’s desires.
@Silentkittey
@Silentkittey 4 ай бұрын
​@@The.Hawaiian.KingdomThe highest of 🖐️! Exactly what I try to let every person and man know. It's hard to break away what's been brainwashing us all for so long.
@emmarose6590
@emmarose6590 2 жыл бұрын
Sara, The “cool chick” persona isn’t cool anymore. Women having boundaries and standards is in. Get a backbone girl and stop worrying if your husband “likes” you or not but care that he respects and loves you with your boundaries
@romans52345-cy3tq
@romans52345-cy3tq 3 ай бұрын
Problem with that is women (particularly feminists) thinks that "boundaries" only apply to women
@joreyn7656
@joreyn7656 2 жыл бұрын
She's trying too hard to be the cool wife. She doesn't want him to go, but she doesn't want it to be bc she told him not to go, she wants him to choose not to go without her having to tell him. And it doesn't sound like he's gonna do that.
@zeal4god402
@zeal4god402 2 жыл бұрын
Being cool with letting your hubby having "fun" in demon infested environments is never cool, in fact it could lead to something hot
@respectabletampodcast
@respectabletampodcast 2 жыл бұрын
I think you summarized things perfectly.
@john1425
@john1425 2 жыл бұрын
@@zeal4god402 speak for yourself dude. It's fine if you and your significant other aren't okay with it but don't project your hang ups onto other people
@rachelgooden9981
@rachelgooden9981 2 жыл бұрын
This!!!!!
@TrollerzTV
@TrollerzTV 2 жыл бұрын
Sounds to me this is a classic case of the wife sending BS signals instead of being a grown up and actua communicating instead of sending "signals"
@danigirl103
@danigirl103 2 жыл бұрын
I feel bad for her. She’s so used to being the “cool chick”, she doesn’t know how to just be herself. She’s faking who she is and what she wants in her own marriage. Poor thing.
@jwlsngold5026
@jwlsngold5026 2 жыл бұрын
She doesn't know who she is and most likely either never will or doesn't like who she is. That's tough to look in the mirror.
@sueblack5794
@sueblack5794 2 жыл бұрын
Ever read Gone Girl? This call reminded me of Gone Girl and that whole passage on playing the "cool girl".
@ST-rj8iu
@ST-rj8iu 11 ай бұрын
@@sueblack5794 OMG. That monologue summed up so much that women deal with in relationships. Such great writing!
@sueblack5794
@sueblack5794 11 ай бұрын
@@ST-rj8iu All women pretend to some extent because we have to be "nice", empathetic, compliant, the least of these and especially in Christian marriages. Stereotypes placed on by society and if you don't display those qualities you are ousted as a masculine woman not worthy of a relationship. I think middle age is great because you realize, "I'm being myself and no long care about what others think" something along those liens. You want respect basically. I wish we did it much earlier, be ourselves with our own personalities and desires.
@pattycakes5010
@pattycakes5010 3 ай бұрын
My personal opinion when a woman says "I don't care" what she's really saying is "I've already given up." She's just waiting for divorce papers.
@OPTICXPROTOTYPE
@OPTICXPROTOTYPE 2 жыл бұрын
Pretty simple: anything done outside of relationship boundaries without permission from your partner is cheating.
@ricotrejo4125
@ricotrejo4125 2 жыл бұрын
MFW my girl tell me not to play with swords and finds out it’s cheating *surprised pikachu face*
@nellymiller7669
@nellymiller7669 2 жыл бұрын
I hate when he's looking at other women - but every normal man does.... what do you think about that then ?
@OPTICXPROTOTYPE
@OPTICXPROTOTYPE 2 жыл бұрын
@@nellymiller7669 if those are the boundaries the two of you agreed to then respect it.
@gunner7633
@gunner7633 2 жыл бұрын
@@nellymiller7669 That is an unrealistic boundary IMO.
@SaystheTruth3
@SaystheTruth3 Жыл бұрын
@@nellymiller7669 totally agree! Every red blooded man looks weather wives/gf like it or not.
@Haleh1
@Haleh1 2 ай бұрын
My husband told me that if he was invited to something like that he would not go, even if it's his own bachelor party. That makes me feel so good. He is a man of integrity. You deserve that too.
@Mamacita-6
@Mamacita-6 Ай бұрын
Yeah my wonderful husband told me the same thing when he was invited to a bachelor’s party. He had told me you are the prettiest girl in the world who I’m in love with why would I want to do something so harmful to us and 6 months later I found out the truth not only did go but lied about it for the next 6 months. I found out he was the one who assigned himself to be the one with the adult entertainment. Spent all his money, stole my money and was late paying our bills. He reached satisfaction with a nude stripper. He didn’t come home that night, he overspent, got his friends in trouble and another one divorced. I was pregnant with his child with all the stress I ended up miscarrying, the wives hated me because without me knowing he was telling them it was all my idea behind the adult entertainment. He blamed me for losing our child because I doubted and lost trust in him, worst part is I believed him at that time of it being my fault for the miscarriage and he emotionally abused me for the miscarriage, for believing his friends wives over him, questioning him, doubting him and for losing trust in him. I was a wreck at my lowest where he needed me to be. He had no mercy on me because according to him it was all my fault. Well all the truth came out where he could no longer spin his lies leaving me in doubt. I left him and he told everyone he left me because I had an abortion because I was in doubt who the real father was. I don’t judge women anymore who find themselves in these situations because I never thought it would happen to someone like me with a good head on my shoulders.
@AK33M
@AK33M 3 күн бұрын
Easy to talk about it
@oatmealtruck7811
@oatmealtruck7811 2 жыл бұрын
I’m a cool wife because I don’t play games with my husband. I am totally upfront with what my boundaries are, and it allows him to respect who I REALLY am. And vis versa.
@joymattson8549
@joymattson8549 Жыл бұрын
Who gives a crap about being the "cool wife"? THis is high school idiocy.
@oatmealtruck7811
@oatmealtruck7811 Жыл бұрын
@@joymattson8549 It’s a play on the caller’s words… I don’t actually call myself a “cool wife”…
@brookebenton8192
@brookebenton8192 Жыл бұрын
As a former dancer: yes it's cheating. You won't believe the stuff that goes on. Even a lap dance where no "extras" are happening is a form of sexual gratification. A girl grinding on a guy's lap until he gets off is cheating. A lot of the girls put their boobs close enough to the guys face that he can put his mouth on them, especially in more private rooms. Cameras don't see everything. 80% of my customers were married!! Most of them didn't tell their wives that they were there. Some would come in as couples and it was usually not good. The only time it worked was when the wife/gf was into girls too. Once I was giving a couch dance to a husband while his wife watched. You could tell she was there just for him. He was staring at me in awe, like googly eyes, and making sexual comments about my body to her the whole time. It was so awkward. I looked over at her after the dance and she was in tears. I felt genuinely bad for her. She grabbed the rest of the money out of his pocket ($600) and handed it to me. I'm sure she was ready to just leave at that point. After working at a strip club I have never wanted to step foot into one again.
@rubyluna452
@rubyluna452 Жыл бұрын
Wow that's so heartbreaking. Thank you for sharing your experience.
@Bobisworld
@Bobisworld Жыл бұрын
@@Mrs.Butterworth ummm what now? So you think the wife was crying because she was sexually aroused? Have you ever met a woman lol
@Bobisworld
@Bobisworld Жыл бұрын
Thank you for sharing this and for your compassion for the wife !
@Sunnysidestoriesandmusic
@Sunnysidestoriesandmusic Жыл бұрын
Oh poor victim, like you didn’t know you’d have to do this when you started the “job”
@Sunnysidestoriesandmusic
@Sunnysidestoriesandmusic Жыл бұрын
@@Bobisworld compassion for the wife would’ve meant she wasn’t whoring herself around with married men
@BlueDauntless
@BlueDauntless 3 ай бұрын
Why do you not want to care that your husband is lusting after someone else? THAT’s gross.
@brendondowdy5651
@brendondowdy5651 Ай бұрын
Agreed but how's that any different than a girl posting pictures on social media for likes. It's all a form a lust. Strip clubs, social media, and porn is virtually all the same.
@Kimkat5
@Kimkat5 Ай бұрын
It’s because someone gaslit her into thinking her feelings weren’t valid
@FellDownTheCornHole
@FellDownTheCornHole 25 күн бұрын
She wants her husband to accept her as his cool wife who’s “One of the boys” and lets him stay out late and look at strippers. Once she stops trying to appear to be something she’s not to her husband she will realize he’s a weirdo.
@Piccolo_Re
@Piccolo_Re 2 жыл бұрын
That’s a terrible idea to go to a strip club after you are married. It’s screams temptation and adultery. Why would a married person even want to go to a strip climb even if it’s with your friends? If he cared about her, he would turn it down.
@Forest__Dream
@Forest__Dream 9 ай бұрын
My thoughts exactly! I'm currently a newish dancer, and you simply step on the floor, and we're just walking temptations -it's kinda stupid like walking into a gta simulation. Then there are the plastic women with big round tits and butts in extra skimpy outfits looking like literal sex dolls. Even I stare and drool, like it's eye catching as hell. Definitely not a place for anyone taken or even trying to have a healthy lifestyle tbh. I have been trying and praying to get out :)
@Galworld761
@Galworld761 2 ай бұрын
If a man is going to cheat - he is going to cheat. Halle Berry, Eva Longoria, Christie Brinkley, Elon Nordegren, Beyoncé were all cheated on. They are the beauty standards and they were cheated on. Men don’t need a strip club to cheat. Personally, if my partner goes for a bachelor party - I don’t care. If you are having a weekly lunch at the strip club - we are done.
@zuzannahardej2371
@zuzannahardej2371 Ай бұрын
​@@Forest__Dreamgirl, so what are u doing? Get out, now, if u really want to. You can't just pray about it and keep doing it like it's not your decision lmao
@AK33M
@AK33M 3 күн бұрын
​@@zuzannahardej2371you don't know anything about her life. Being homeless or broke af isn't an option for everybody.
@jackofhearts1056
@jackofhearts1056 Жыл бұрын
Was invited to my buddy's bachelor party. The majority of the guys excluding me, wanted to go to the strip club. I didn't put up a fuss. We went, I waited for them in the car and they went in. They had their fun and then we went and did other things. Everybody went home happy. I didn't betray mine or my wife's values.
@Matt-cr4vv
@Matt-cr4vv 10 ай бұрын
It would be wild to spend the time in the parking lot. But whenever my friends have gone it’s always a night ending thing versus doing things following it so it’s easy to skip that by just going home. In my state it’s commonly an after the bar closes thing where you can bring alcohol and continue drinking for another few hours. The last time i got pressured to go to one I was in Las Vegas and I slipped away to an Uber from the casino to my hotel when they weren’t paying attention LOL. The two friends were idiots trying to pay for extras with a card and got ripped off. So tons of reasons I’m glad I didn’t go.
@cindydee8475
@cindydee8475 9 ай бұрын
Good man 👏👏👏👍☺
@1twistedcpl6575
@1twistedcpl6575 7 ай бұрын
BS!!!
@lilia73cantu1
@lilia73cantu1 4 ай бұрын
Your wife actually believed you stayed at the parking lot the entire time? I wouldn't.
@jackofhearts1056
@jackofhearts1056 4 ай бұрын
@@lilia73cantu1 Yes she did. She knows my heart.
@princessamy2829
@princessamy2829 2 жыл бұрын
This actually has nothing to do with cheating. She's being a people pleaser so her husband will like her more. I was that way for many years and my husband stepped all over me because I never upheld boundaries. It did not make him like me more! It did the complete opposite. It's important to not sacrifice her own peace of mind and set of values to make him think she awesomeness! She will end up resenting him and she might even start second guessing her own judgement later on down the road!
@zeal4god402
@zeal4god402 2 жыл бұрын
And letting him do this could pave the way for God knows what else...
@starlingswallow
@starlingswallow 2 жыл бұрын
Beautifully said Princess Amy!
@amde8554
@amde8554 2 жыл бұрын
Yes exactly, when I’ve tried explaining to a people pleaser in my life she would be more respected if she pushed back on things and established and upheld boundaries she didn’t really get what I meant. It’s hard to understand if you don’t practice it and fear being disliked
@zeal4god402
@zeal4god402 2 жыл бұрын
@@amde8554 Fear in its myriad of forms has kept so many from living thriving, wholesome lives
@salonsavy6476
@salonsavy6476 2 жыл бұрын
Spot on 👍
@sarrahconley3923
@sarrahconley3923 Жыл бұрын
We almost went into a strip club on accident in Vegas. My husband stopped me and said I have never been in one. And I don't intend to. I was pretty proud.
@Samantha-ji7iw
@Samantha-ji7iw 4 ай бұрын
Oh, my heart needed to hear that. Proud of him too.
@Angiespalette
@Angiespalette 3 ай бұрын
He’s a keeper !! 😁
@2eyeluvmac2
@2eyeluvmac2 2 жыл бұрын
It's amazing the amount of people who are married and can't communicate with each other.
@oohily
@oohily Жыл бұрын
‼️‼️‼️
@AnnAndNala
@AnnAndNala 3 ай бұрын
Right?! I'm baffled!
@barefootgroupie4504
@barefootgroupie4504 Жыл бұрын
I'm still processing the vocabulary choices of "silly goose," "dirty naughty fun," and "yucky."
@zuzannahardej2371
@zuzannahardej2371 Ай бұрын
😂😂😂 it's funny
@WildBison74
@WildBison74 Ай бұрын
lol for real though
@JML542
@JML542 Ай бұрын
It's called ambivalence. Imo, she doesn't like it but is afraid that if he knows who she really is, he'll leave.
@crazeekids9744
@crazeekids9744 2 жыл бұрын
This just once again shows how women have been conditioned to NOT ask for what we want. We are told that if we do, we are nags or bitches.
@justinlarmore8249
@justinlarmore8249 Жыл бұрын
It’s call compromise with marriage. Men are equally condition to not ask for what they want.
@crazeekids9744
@crazeekids9744 Жыл бұрын
@@justinlarmore8249 maybe within the specific context of marriage. But, on a societal level, men who ask for what they want are seen as assertive go- getters, while women are just seen as being bossy and disagreeable.
@kristabistaify
@kristabistaify Жыл бұрын
1000000%
@powers6253
@powers6253 Жыл бұрын
@@crazeekids9744 Men who ask for what they want are told they're pushy, aggressive in some places.
@bufficliff8978
@bufficliff8978 4 ай бұрын
*the abused. It's not just women. This is a symptom of past or present abuse.
@dudemr
@dudemr 2 жыл бұрын
She is affraid he will walk away. Affraid of standing up for what SHE WANTS and he will straight up say "Ok, I`ll continue to do what I want - He has ignored her fellings for ages" - Girl keep wanting to be the "cool" girl and you will end up alone.
@heavenlymilano
@heavenlymilano Жыл бұрын
Tell your husband that you found a job as a stripper. If he objects, ask him what's wrong with stripping. If he would not be "cool" with that situation, why do you have to be cool with his frequenting a strip club?
@merylparks1584
@merylparks1584 6 күн бұрын
Turning the tables on him Good idea
@Jane_1994
@Jane_1994 2 жыл бұрын
"I don't want to give him rules. Ew, I'm not his mom." It's not unreasonable to communicate your completely sane standards and desires to your husband. Ignore pressure to be low-maintenance/"cool" and be your authentic self; I do and people have only respected me more for it.
@emmarose6590
@emmarose6590 2 жыл бұрын
Exactly. Having boundaries, expectations, and standards isn’t nagging.
@starlingswallow
@starlingswallow 2 жыл бұрын
And those that walk when you are YOU, let them walk...and continue to love yourself and hold to who you are! 🥰
@hannahheartsedward
@hannahheartsedward 2 жыл бұрын
Right! Hubby and I do have a couple rules that are things that neither one of us even want to do. Mine is if he starts smoking, we're done. It makes both of us physically ill. The strip club thing is a non issue for us because I'm the only one of us who has ever been. Had I not volunteered to be the designated driver, he would have picked me up and we weren't even dating. It was college and the mostly female group of friends said it would be fun. I had no idea what I was getting into-lesson learned!
@karlabritfeld7104
@karlabritfeld7104 2 жыл бұрын
So can the husband put his foot down and say no if she wants to go to a male strip club?
@sueblack5794
@sueblack5794 2 жыл бұрын
he has zero respect for her and her playing the cool girl is why he doesn't have respect for her. She needs to set up her boundaries and stand by them. He won't respect her until she does it.
@deborahjackson6108
@deborahjackson6108 2 жыл бұрын
It wouldn’t even be a question with my hubby. He’s more interested in a string and healthy marriage. But my ex!! Strip clubs, then porn, then cheating then divorce. Keep your boundaries strong lady!!!! Keep them strong!!
@middmorningmoon
@middmorningmoon 11 ай бұрын
As a dancer, I don’t want my man in the strip club spending 100s on up on another semi-nude or nude woman. He would be taking money out of my home and putting it in another woman’s pocket while getting s*xually gratified by another woman, that is absolutely not okay. The man I want is not interested in that type of fickle attention. I know what goes on in the club, it’s not all just lap dances and teasing. Not myself, but some other dancers do a lot more and it’s gross that anyone would ever want to engage with a woman who possibly was intimate with man other men that night.
@DidiGrooves
@DidiGrooves 4 ай бұрын
LOL "dancers" hahaha omg
@eancola6111
@eancola6111 4 ай бұрын
They don’t usually put it in their pocket lol
@idkwhattonamethis8593
@idkwhattonamethis8593 4 ай бұрын
Throwing stones from glass houses, I see. 😂
@eljoshsfgaming6335
@eljoshsfgaming6335 3 ай бұрын
The irony in this comment is absolutely astonishing
@truth.speaker
@truth.speaker 2 жыл бұрын
ask him "is 1 night of fun worth ruining our trust?"
@neededtobesaid4275
@neededtobesaid4275 2 жыл бұрын
Maybe there is NO trust if he can't go out and have one night of fun.
@AppleAbston
@AppleAbston Жыл бұрын
@@neededtobesaid4275 maybe there is no trust if fun equates to him allowing people he did not make a covenant with to give him sexual stimulations on purpose. A strip club is not something innocent. The environment saturates everything and draws one in regardless of the individual's intentions. 🤷🏻‍♀️
@elaine7860
@elaine7860 4 ай бұрын
She sounds like a people pleaser. I hope she finds a way to please herself by placing boundaries for herself.
@DP-yw4vk
@DP-yw4vk 3 ай бұрын
Man.. Dr John has some patience. This caller pissed me so much. SEE YOUR SELF WORTH WOMAN.
@theluckienurse
@theluckienurse 2 жыл бұрын
Clearly this bothers her, and she needs to let him know and he needs to respect it.
@christophera4364
@christophera4364 11 күн бұрын
Would you rather go to a male or female one
@SherryEllesson
@SherryEllesson 2 жыл бұрын
She says they "fought it out" the first time, so it must be clear in her hubs' mind how she views his going with his buddies and participating. Her need to be "cool" is sabotaging her making boundaries clear and with no do-overs. She's his wife, not a girl dorm buddy.
@zeal4god402
@zeal4god402 2 жыл бұрын
AMEEEEEEEN
@johnsmith-kt7ef
@johnsmith-kt7ef 2 жыл бұрын
agreed as a guy who has had some LTR's and lived the bachelor life multiple times (including now), i have been to these types of establishments in multiple states. However i never participated in them while in a relationship, bc i wouldn't want my GF doing the same tbh. So i set boundaries for myself i expect my SO to uphold as well. I have also been to 7 bachelor parties in my life, a couple involved strippers and the other 5 were guys weekends were we went to a place rented a huge house, partied, played golf, went fishing, etc and these bachelor parties were more fun then the ones that involved strippers. If your husband resents you for not wanting to go to a strip club, then he is not the right guy for a marriage tbh.
@petesfohn5659
@petesfohn5659 2 жыл бұрын
learn to accept people are different, stop limiting other people actions
@zeal4god402
@zeal4god402 2 жыл бұрын
@@petesfohn5659 All the best telling the judicial system and law enforcement that
@SarahR2D2
@SarahR2D2 2 жыл бұрын
@@zeal4god402 🤣🤣🤣💯💯💯
@kengy1991
@kengy1991 2 жыл бұрын
If a spouse is actively seeking out places to go where there are individuals that sexually fantasize about/with then I would say that is cheating.
@annab.2086
@annab.2086 Жыл бұрын
This is exactly why I don't ever want to be in a relationship again bc I hate the anxiety it gives me and these kinda situations which you cannot control bc either way they will backfire...I'd much rather be single and not worry about a thing!
@Samantha-ji7iw
@Samantha-ji7iw 4 ай бұрын
Oh, the anxiety sucks. It's not worth it.
@tiflangela
@tiflangela Ай бұрын
Or find a stand up guy that will respect you. They are out there but you will never find them if you don't try or if you don't speak your mind.
@montoriabryan167
@montoriabryan167 2 жыл бұрын
For my husband, I had to literally give him his same scenarios but put me in it. For example, “Is it okay for me to see mens’ penises and have those rubbing on me for a lap dance or is okay for me to strip naked in front of other men and have my boobs in their face?” Clearly it’s not okay lol and he’s able to see it and be like you’re right. I won’t do it. We’ve never had this issue because we don’t play that, but we have had to have a boundaries talk before about other things.
@reginasemenenko148
@reginasemenenko148 Жыл бұрын
Yes.
@justinlarmore8249
@justinlarmore8249 Жыл бұрын
The “same scenario” certainly wouldn’t have included any penis. More comparable is a man with his shirt off stripping for you or men on the street without shirts on.
@highlighted_reply
@highlighted_reply Жыл бұрын
My perspective is when I was young my buddies and I thought gentlemens establishments were good clean fun. Now I just see them as desperate and a little pathetic. I won’t say I think it’s cheating because I don’t think it crosses that line but I certainly think they are low class and harmful to relationships. My best friend recently suggested we go visit one because we haven’t done that in so many years. I told him I thought my days of that were over.
@montoriabryan167
@montoriabryan167 Жыл бұрын
@@justinlarmore8249 i thought that too but I’ve seen my friends’ stories on Instagram and Snapchat and they showed the mens’ entire junk. I was honestly surprised bc I didn’t know that they actually strip fully naked.
@reginasemenenko148
@reginasemenenko148 Жыл бұрын
@@highlighted_reply I don't think I could be married to anyone who visits those places. We also do not go to bars because it usually doesn't end well. We have friends who for some reason go to a bar several times a week. Most remind me of meat markets--very low class.
@munchems
@munchems 5 ай бұрын
An ex bf I had before I met my husband had a very interesting take on strip clubs. I asked him about it randomly if that was something he wanted to do and he said “I don’t go to strip clubs because I think it’s weird, perverted and kind of gay to go somewhere and get horny with other men.” 😂😂😂 My husband thinks strip clubs for either men or women is cheating, gross and a waste of money. He’d rather spend his money on fishing gear. 😂
@wonder12374
@wonder12374 Жыл бұрын
Her little girl voice is a dead give away as to why she is handling this situation the way she is trying to be the perfect little girl while in the process allowing for her self to be disrespected in return which she is disconnected from because she has disassociated from herself somewhere along the way growing up due to trauma.
@cmichelle9986
@cmichelle9986 4 ай бұрын
Nailed it.
@sitcomchristian6886
@sitcomchristian6886 3 ай бұрын
I love KZbin comment's diagnosis
@stefaniamalatesta8076
@stefaniamalatesta8076 Жыл бұрын
She is trying to talk herself into accepting cheating behavior.
@EliseWood
@EliseWood 2 жыл бұрын
Heck yes it’s cheating! If she wants her hubby to adore her tell all his friends in front of him that he’ll have a way better time at home with his wife actually getting some instead of lusting and fantasizing over the women that get absolutely no satisfaction out of it because it’s their job! Own your sexy self instead of sitting at home knowing that husband is paying to “have a good time”, literally spending $$$ on cheating on you when you could have one of the best nights together!!!! My husband would know to not come home after that if he ever did anything like that to me. We all have boundaries!
@salonsavy6476
@salonsavy6476 2 жыл бұрын
👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏
@boston312
@boston312 Жыл бұрын
actually it would be cheaper for the husband to have just depended on strippers for his sexual urges rather than his wife. Think about all the money he had to spend on dates before he married the wife, the thousands he spent on the wedding, the thousands he spent on a mortgage and raising his kids. When the divorce comes he will be out all of the money and even have to pay her alimony. A stripper is much cheaper in the long run
@Nah-ah
@Nah-ah 2 жыл бұрын
Tell him no. That’s basically crossing the relationship boundary and values. How would he like it if she had a man shove his junk in her face at a Hens night? He’s a married man and he shouldn’t be doing any of this, neither of them should be! Tables turn and see how they feel about their wives. You’re putting yourself into a sexual environment! She’s a people-pleaser, door mat. Lady, speak your truth!
@jellyrcw12
@jellyrcw12 2 жыл бұрын
3:55, they're not rules, they're boundaries. And every healthy relationship needs them!
@1twistedcpl6575
@1twistedcpl6575 7 ай бұрын
Boundries...like you can look but you cant touch? 😂
@cg741graf5
@cg741graf5 2 жыл бұрын
Yes it’s cheating… There, how easy was that.
@hideyable
@hideyable Жыл бұрын
@CG741 Graf - it depends on your definition of cheating. I wouldn't be upset if my partner went to a strip club. Sarah obviously considers it a betrayal of trust for her.
@dearbrave4183
@dearbrave4183 Жыл бұрын
​​@@hideyable this also means you wouldn't be upset if you found some woman rubbing against your husband , her boobs in his face or sitting on his lap? Because it's not just about going to the strip club. it's about what's seen and done there.
@sensee97
@sensee97 Ай бұрын
​@hideyable How is it not cheating? Your partner is looking sexually, lusting after another person. Sex is supposed to be sacred and only between you two, yet they are going out and allowing themselves to desire it with someone else.
@colmwhateveryoulike3240
@colmwhateveryoulike3240 2 жыл бұрын
Scared of what she'll discover if she told him her needs straight up.
@colmwhateveryoulike3240
@colmwhateveryoulike3240 2 жыл бұрын
@@Austenfan177 Exactly. I feel bad for her but I hope she learns to be firm and be willing to follow through if he doesn't change.
@deborahjackson6108
@deborahjackson6108 2 жыл бұрын
@@Austenfan177 I feel like this marriage will probably end in divorce at some point because she is too scared to lay down some serious boundaries.
@AliPi7
@AliPi7 Жыл бұрын
The fact that your husband wants to go see live naked women who do just about anything for a buck is EVERYTHING. A married or a taken man has no business going to strip clubs. Grow the f up and respect and honor the person you’re supposed to be committed to.
@kierancaldwell3442
@kierancaldwell3442 4 ай бұрын
I couldn't have said it better myself
@cur244
@cur244 4 ай бұрын
Just like a married woman shouldn't be on social media. Everyone knows why women love social media so much.
@ethxo6734
@ethxo6734 2 жыл бұрын
This woman is irritating. You can’t force yourself to be someone your not, and why is being okay with your husband going to strip clubs your definition of cool?
@natalieelliott1984
@natalieelliott1984 2 жыл бұрын
Agree.
@sueblack5794
@sueblack5794 2 жыл бұрын
The true definition of cool is a smart, intelligent, honest woman who can set boundaries and stand her ground. She gains respect because she is honest in needing it. This woman isn't cool. She is a giggling doormat.
@isay207
@isay207 Жыл бұрын
I don't see what's wrong with it if its a one time thing a bachelor party he can say no to physical contact just have fun with friends
@sydoly123
@sydoly123 11 ай бұрын
​@@isay207her husband is presenting like he is not into it but seems like he looks forward to those night out. He is probably someone that says that what happens that night stays between the men. They are both not true to themselves.
@passivelyasking4825
@passivelyasking4825 9 ай бұрын
​@@isay207Thats the thing though it isn't about how someone else "feels." Everyones parameters and boundaries for what is acceptable or considered cheating in their relationship are going to be different. Maybe you don't have an issue with your significant other attending strip clubs, maybe another couple doesn't have an issue with their partner having sex with other people even, maybe in another relationship having an Instagram is considered cheating. Its up to the individual to set their own boundaries, and if their partner can't respect them then they should leave and find someone who does. People are allowed to have standards.
@droptozro
@droptozro 2 жыл бұрын
I only went to a strip club once for a friend's birthday in my early 20s (and I was single then). It was funny to see my friend's reactions---but the reality is the moment a girl came over to me I found my values came flying out of me. I didn't want some girl who'd been rubbing up on multiple people all night for money anywhere near me. It didn't appeal, it repulsed me. I immediately backed up and put the table between me and her so she wouldn't try to sit on my lap or try anything else. Pretty much ended my "fun" for the night. I didn't realize it til it was literally in my face how much I didn't want that. So, yeah---I'd consider it a form of cheating. It's a cheap form of cheating though since the girls are only dancing for money. The caller should admit internally she's not really cool with this. No one is "cool" with someone else all over their significant other if they're really in love.
@pearlm1618
@pearlm1618 2 жыл бұрын
👍 10000%
@ahmorgan
@ahmorgan Жыл бұрын
If you didn't marry a virgin your wife was doing the same thing to some other guy. Who cares?
@Sunnysidestoriesandmusic
@Sunnysidestoriesandmusic Жыл бұрын
Sure, as if you didn’t realize this would happen before you went there… what a stupid thing to say,
@ellafruitloops
@ellafruitloops Жыл бұрын
@@Sunnysidestoriesandmusic you seem so harsh to people in the comments. There are lot of moments in life where someone can’t 100% comprehend a situation unless it happens to them.
@Sunnysidestoriesandmusic
@Sunnysidestoriesandmusic Жыл бұрын
@@ellafruitloops a woman twerking in a thong over married men’s penises and putting her boobs in his face is not the victim. Sorry you have such a demented worldview.
@brianachong5390
@brianachong5390 Жыл бұрын
I’m so glad he said it didn’t feel like betrayal it was betrayal! Exactly!
@thespicyonion
@thespicyonion Жыл бұрын
My husband has been in This exact situation and he politely made up an excuse as to why he couldn’t go (without me even saying anything). He made it clear when we got married there were to be no strippers at his party and if you have friends that respect you they wouldn’t put you in a weird situation to jeopardize your relationship…
@melissab3217
@melissab3217 2 жыл бұрын
My husband and I had an agreement - no strippers at the bachelor/bachelorette party. I am so glad that we had that rule ahead of time, because so often people get pressured by the rest of the party. Idk if I could have gone through with the wedding the next day if he broke his word.
@rainbowpandasays8851
@rainbowpandasays8851 2 жыл бұрын
I don’t know how I feel about bachelor/bachelorette party … you ain’t married and plus neither of you would actually break into cheating on one another - if you do then surely you weren’t ready for a lifetime commitment. You’re saying if someone not your fiancé brought a stripper you’d break off the wedding ? Or he cheated on you with a stripper? Just for clarification. Because I agree with the later.
@melissab3217
@melissab3217 2 жыл бұрын
@@rainbowpandasays8851 I would have to reconsider because it would be extremely inconsiderate since it would go against the boundaries that were set. Married or not, we were in a committed relationship, and we wanted to be preparing to marry, not thinking about other people sexually.
@cg741graf5
@cg741graf5 2 жыл бұрын
I know of 2 men that had sex with the strippers at the bachelor night.
@reginasemenenko148
@reginasemenenko148 Жыл бұрын
100%!
@1twistedcpl6575
@1twistedcpl6575 7 ай бұрын
Or he if you broke yours...right?
@soni05131
@soni05131 2 жыл бұрын
Own it girl! You are afraid he will leave you. You are afraid he will choose to continue devaluing your feelings. Stay safe, hope you get the strength to go through this. Cause it seems like he doesn't care about your feelings much less boundaries.
@jellyrcw12
@jellyrcw12 2 жыл бұрын
Idk why it's so hard for her to accept that she has boundaries
@crystalvanzant215
@crystalvanzant215 Жыл бұрын
I really love this conversation. Doc giving the big brother talk is the right temperature. She’s so sweet too. Her husband needs to wake up before he loses a wonderful person.
@joymattson8549
@joymattson8549 Жыл бұрын
Her constant laughing is annoying.
@dearbrave4183
@dearbrave4183 Жыл бұрын
i don't know if she's sweet. all I know is since she has honesty issues, she can't be a good friend. and most likely she isn't a good wife. She only thinks about how to look good, she could let someone die as long as it made her look good. Her desire to be liked to that extent is dangerous, she could Very well raise her kids to be narcissistic
@BlessedbytheKingofKings
@BlessedbytheKingofKings 2 жыл бұрын
She should not have to tell him not to go. He should have enough common sense to know that no woman is happy with her husband going to strip clubs.
@NeccoWecco
@NeccoWecco 2 жыл бұрын
Absolutely not. Don't expect people to do what *you* would do, instead have an open dialogue of your expectations so there are no questions.
@ConceptHut
@ConceptHut 2 жыл бұрын
That is a very untrue statement. Some women bring their husbands.
@greenfly0917
@greenfly0917 2 жыл бұрын
This isn't true. Some women don't care or go with their partners to the strip club. Don't assume everyone is like you.
@1005ndc
@1005ndc 2 жыл бұрын
I say this with complete love and respect, my husband and I have been together for 16 years since we were in high school, the biggest thing I’ve learned thus far is to communicate safely and never assume he knows my thoughts and emotions. Humans are complex in nature and sometimes we barely understand ourselves and it’s helpful to our partners if we communicate our thoughts and mental processes
@neededtobesaid4275
@neededtobesaid4275 2 жыл бұрын
in Atlanta, some couples go to strip clubs....together. Those clubs have become like after-hours places for some people. It's weird but true.
@NewNew44519
@NewNew44519 Жыл бұрын
That’s the problem with trying so hard with being the “cool girl “. Your not the cool wife by not standing up for yourself. Trying to be cool is emotionally immature. Having values and standards is cool when your an adult.
@lady829
@lady829 2 жыл бұрын
Sarah - you need to watch "The Take - The Cool Girl Trope" and go to therapy and get yourself out of this internal mess. You're paying the price of trying to be cool girl & a people/men pleaser at the expense of YOU
@Dwights_trash_can
@Dwights_trash_can 2 жыл бұрын
Omg yes even when she is talking to John she is using "bro language" you are spot on
@oohily
@oohily Жыл бұрын
‼️‼️‼️
@Mika_T_0317
@Mika_T_0317 2 жыл бұрын
She is afraid to communicate with her husband and is afraid of showing her "true self" to her husband She lacks vulnerability and is putting up a facade. That is the deeper issue here. If Sarah, ever reads this comment. Please know that being your true self and being vulnerable is worth it and worth your peace of mind. Everyone is built different and being who God made you to be is okay too.
@gabrielamartiniuc6322
@gabrielamartiniuc6322 Жыл бұрын
She doesn’t value herself. For the fact that she doesn’t understand how gross and disgusting it is that her husband even WANTS to go to a strip club is disturbing!!!! For the fact that this doctor isn’t telling her how absolutely abhorrent it is that her husband wants to attend a strip club is not good .
@kenyonbriggs6617
@kenyonbriggs6617 2 жыл бұрын
Dr. John is the best. No matter what situation the callers present, Dr. John provides real, actionable guidance and help. He is a rare blend of wisdom, intelligence, kindness and humility while also sticking firm to his values. I listen to these podcasts to gain insight into my own brain and relationships, and I hope to meet you one day so I can say “thank you” in person.
@sueblack5794
@sueblack5794 2 жыл бұрын
He knows exactly what the problem is and narrows it down easily. Seriously, how the heck can he do that in a few minutes?
@thomask8298
@thomask8298 2 жыл бұрын
I disagree
@gageboone1885
@gageboone1885 10 ай бұрын
@@thomask8298explain
@katrinaisalwayscorrect
@katrinaisalwayscorrect Жыл бұрын
Yes porn and strip clubs are cheating. You are having a sexual relationship with other women. That is wrong, always. The men who fight for this behavior will tell you that it doesn't count unless they are physically touching them, yet if their wife were to share nude photos of themselves or strip they would have an issue. This acceptance of open marriages makes no sense, why get married if you need other women outside your relationship?
@ahmorgan
@ahmorgan Жыл бұрын
Societal pressure. Legalize sex work, remove the stigma. The people who want strippers can go, the people who want to be married can be married. Today our culture is forcing men into unnatural situations
@tomw485
@tomw485 10 ай бұрын
Cheating is crossing whatever boundaries you agreed to with your spouse. Porn and strip clubs might be cheating for you and your relationship but they aren’t for every relationship.
@gk3330
@gk3330 5 ай бұрын
@@tomw485that’s disgusting stop normalizing your bs
@OliveGreen0516
@OliveGreen0516 4 ай бұрын
I'm a woman, and I don't have a problem with porn, but I'm not going to say it's for every relationship. Every relationship is different.
@katrinaisalwayscorrect
@katrinaisalwayscorrect 4 ай бұрын
@OliveGreen0516 good for you and your open relationship
@oohily
@oohily Жыл бұрын
Accidentally stumbled across this channel & I just love the way that you find the root cause of things. And then give steps for the person to help themselves.
@johnsmith-kt7ef
@johnsmith-kt7ef 2 жыл бұрын
Look as a guy who has been to many of these types of establishments when I am not in a relationship, I have never been to one while in a relationship. I am not knocking strippers either bc i have casually dated a few strippers and cocktail waitresses in the past. He is lying that he doesn't like that, men don't typically do things they don't want to do. He is trying to make you feel better, you will not be a nagging wife for not wanting your husband to go to a strip club and have women grinding on him with him spending money on it to happen. Hold your boundaries and if his friends give him crap he needs to be a man and deal with them. Don't buy the peer pressure garbage either. As a man and your husband he should put you and your values first, as well as you should be reciprocating the same. I am currently living the bachelor life and don't ever really plan on getting married. Marriage is a different thing, people make those vows and they seem to think they can still live a single style life bc they are "on vacation" or whatever.
@dearbrave4183
@dearbrave4183 Жыл бұрын
right, it's like they don't understand what they're getting into
@kaitlinobrien243
@kaitlinobrien243 2 жыл бұрын
Husband strip club no no no. Do you want your daughter and son living with a father who participates in the denigration of women. And their Mother. Speak up. It is disgusting. Your marriage is in serious trouble. He needs to adore and honour the wonderful woman you are! He's a fool. You will regret your silence.
@Dwights_trash_can
@Dwights_trash_can 2 жыл бұрын
You have a really good point!
@brianachong5390
@brianachong5390 Жыл бұрын
The fact that he desires to seek sexual gratification from other women in a monogamous relationship has already doomed the marriage. She can stay in the marriage but it’s already over
@tacooflove6175
@tacooflove6175 2 жыл бұрын
This reminds me of the mom from mean girls. “I’m not a regular mom I’m a cool mom” Man I hope she actually talks to him, that she wants to be the only one he’s gets a lap dance from.
@KarenJ214
@KarenJ214 2 жыл бұрын
why not just be honest with your husband and have a heart to heart conversation with him and tell him how you feel about it ... not out of anger with screaming but just honest sincerity
@Julian-zc9vm
@Julian-zc9vm 2 жыл бұрын
She wants to be able to tell her husband that she’s cool with him visiting the strip club, but then for him to say, no babe, I don’t want to look at other naked women. This way she’s the cool wife but also her man isn’t going to a strip club.
@haileymontgomery3659
@haileymontgomery3659 2 жыл бұрын
Exactly.
@superblump87
@superblump87 2 жыл бұрын
Right. It's just a strip club though. Nothing wrong with going once in a blue moon for a bachelor party. Just have to keep it in your pants if you're married.
@rubyluna452
@rubyluna452 Жыл бұрын
@@superblump87 I hope you keep that same energy with engaged women having male strippers gyrating all over the bachelorette party too. Most men would not enjoy the women they are in a committed relationship (engaged or not) with to be in a sexual environment (which is what strip clubs are) with handsome half naked men with amazing bodies rubbing themselves on her or vice versa, especially without him there to make sure it doesn't lead to anything else even more inappropriate. That's a completely fair concern and boundary to have when you are in a monogamous, committed relationship - no matter the sex.
@dearbrave4183
@dearbrave4183 Жыл бұрын
🤣
@dearbrave4183
@dearbrave4183 Жыл бұрын
​​@@superblump87 of course so you can fantasize on those women once in a blue moon. And once in a blue moon disconnect to your wife and find them unattractive in comparison. It's just once in a blue moon. How many blue moons before your marriage really suffers and becomes unsalvageable?
@normantheforeman9866
@normantheforeman9866 2 жыл бұрын
Her: “I don’t think I really care though”. Me: “ *milk flies out of nose as I burst out laughing*”. You gotta be who you are in this world
@SamanthaBellerson
@SamanthaBellerson Жыл бұрын
100% it’s cheating. This is a deal breaker for me. it is an important discussion to have. I know if my husband did go, I could try to tell myself it’s no big deal but I know I would never see him the same way. it is also okay to be honest about how you feel about these things.
@RealCaptainAwesome
@RealCaptainAwesome 2 жыл бұрын
If I have a private conversation or chat with a woman, I always tell my wife about the conversation. Not just because I don't want to go down the path of infidelity but because I want to be open with her about everything.
@dearbrave4183
@dearbrave4183 Жыл бұрын
You're a gem 💎. Most men and women don't do this.
@deirdremorris9234
@deirdremorris9234 Жыл бұрын
AND because You need to protect Yourself. Be careful. Even "little talks" can be perceived as something going on.
@The.Hawaiian.Kingdom
@The.Hawaiian.Kingdom 10 ай бұрын
I loath myself for quoting Dr. Phil, but he did say one thing that’s worth quoting: _”Cheating is anything you wouldn’t feel comfortable doing in front of your partner”_ … if you wouldn’t feel comfortable gawking at another woman, throwing money at another woman, having another woman’s breasts and butt in your face, having another woman grinding herself against your c*ck, as your wife sat next to you… ITS CHEATING.
@elizabetha8565
@elizabetha8565 2 жыл бұрын
This call reminds me of a guy I dated that told me I was a cool girl because I was so cool about random stuff, he was 100% trying to train me how to be, and it got so ugly so fast when i said 9ne tume i was uncomfortable with one little thing. This poor woman.
@savvmoreland3595
@savvmoreland3595 2 жыл бұрын
I hate that he didn't tell her this, but truth is if she starts to fully be herself and actually stop pretending to not care about things she clearly care about. He might leave her. Because it's tough for someone your used to being a certain way completely switching things up on you. Just because they weren't really being real with themselves.
@PriestessHephzibah
@PriestessHephzibah 2 жыл бұрын
Intresting. Exactly
@altenberg-greifenstein
@altenberg-greifenstein 2 жыл бұрын
If you feel it is that much of a problem if your wife suddenly tells you she does not feel good with you letting another woman do sexual stuff for you, then I think you are not cut out for any respectful relationship. If you want a relationship with someone who never changes their opinion even just a little bit, or has their own opinion at all, you would do best with a rubber doll.
@CallHerCassie
@CallHerCassie 2 жыл бұрын
If you don’t know where you’re at the answer is you’re not ok with it.
@katrinagarnett3256
@katrinagarnett3256 Жыл бұрын
Omg this speaks to my situation so much right now. It’s refreshing to hear a man answer this honestly.
@nique7098
@nique7098 2 жыл бұрын
this womans all over the place
@Diana734
@Diana734 2 жыл бұрын
Strip club is LAME. I can't help but remember the "cool girl" monologue from Gone Girl...👀
@sueblack5794
@sueblack5794 2 жыл бұрын
YES!!!!!!! She reminds 100% of Gone Girl and that "cool girl" passage. Gone Girl went gone because of acting like the "cool girl".
@gsquared2394
@gsquared2394 2 жыл бұрын
I KNEW That girl who always claimed to be cool like one of the guys is just another chick repressing her true feelings. I know it sounds like a cliché, but be true to yourself, people can see through your disguise anyway.
@nancygamez7087
@nancygamez7087 Жыл бұрын
The way that her husband treats her values will eventually make him less attractive to his wife
@wondering1916
@wondering1916 Жыл бұрын
I bet that if she says anything, he will throw a temper tantrum because he doesn’t care as much about her as she cares about him. Thank you for trying to get her to start seeing that she is self abusive by putting his needs first and feeling like she has to keep up an image more than being able to relax and just be herself.
@pattyajones
@pattyajones 2 жыл бұрын
My thoughts: It's not so much about the strip club to her, but her husband's denial that he enjoys them. Like she said: If you wanna go, go ahead, but don't lie to me and tell me you don't. I think THAT'S her major issue.
@gottesma
@gottesma 2 жыл бұрын
It's possible to not like something but to go anyway. I also don't like strip clubs. I probably go maybe once per decade, if that. But I really like hanging out with my friends. And sometimes, that's a compromise that I choose to make.
@Nah-ah
@Nah-ah 2 жыл бұрын
That’s exactly right! And she doesn’t want to come across as “uncool” but in reality she doesn’t want to be uncomfortable with him changing his mind about her faking to be cool! She doesn’t want to let that facade go bc she’s built her life and her husbands perspective of her around being fake. It’s so exhausting faking an image, clearly it’s breaking her down from the inside!
@Anniefawesome
@Anniefawesome Жыл бұрын
Well she said it's my job to put my boobs in his face not a strippers.....so she is bothered by it
@Sunnysidestoriesandmusic
@Sunnysidestoriesandmusic Жыл бұрын
Well her major issue should be a whore twerking over her husband’s penis… what type of potent weed are you guys smoking??
@dearbrave4183
@dearbrave4183 Жыл бұрын
​@@gottesma your friends are glued to the chairs at the strip clubs?
@ca55766
@ca55766 2 жыл бұрын
This reminds me so much of the "cool girl" speech from Gone Girl
@Radspad77
@Radspad77 2 жыл бұрын
This couple needs to be transparent with each other about what they really want, what their boundaries are, and most importantly, their values. The question is: how much sexual stimulation can each partner have outside the relationship, and in which forms/formats, until it becomes cheating and violates the boundaries of the relationship? IMO - it's never just strip clubs, that's the obvious behavior. There's usually other sexual stimulation elsewhere that's being hidden.
@Joenzinator
@Joenzinator Жыл бұрын
If he REALLY doesn't want to go, he will be relieved when you tell him that you don't want him to go. I've been to a strip club once for a bachelor party, and it was weird and gross and I really didn't like it. I would be looking for any excuse not to go.
@nyvash4237
@nyvash4237 4 ай бұрын
If he really didn’t want to go - he wouldn’t go. He’s an adult. And married. He’s not a toddler
@Joenzinator
@Joenzinator 4 ай бұрын
Same! A friend hired a stripper for a bachelor party and it was weird and I hated it.
@marlenebtagelman2451
@marlenebtagelman2451 2 жыл бұрын
In my first marriage, husband went to a strip club with a neighbor. He came home and criticized the women there. Oh boy, what about himself!
@marlenebtagelman2451
@marlenebtagelman2451 2 жыл бұрын
He couldn't look at himself.
@oatmealtruck7811
@oatmealtruck7811 2 жыл бұрын
I know I’m generalizing here, but women tend to strip because they’re in desperate situations, and men tend to visit strip clubs out of a want to fix a temporary feeling (lust, loneliness, boredom…). Both are making bad choices (imo), but their reasons for making those bad choices are very different.
@souschef4489
@souschef4489 2 жыл бұрын
You can’t cater to every feeling your spouse has and still be a sane person.
@racheleisele
@racheleisele 2 жыл бұрын
Why does she want to be so "cool" and not care? Caring is cool. Putting up with no BS is cool. Expecting your spouse to not put himself in a situation that could sabotage fidelity (even if it's only the appearance of it) because you wouldn't do that either is cool. Unfortunately it seems he has always been this way so be may not change.
@zeal4god402
@zeal4god402 2 жыл бұрын
To be pure is cool
@privacyplease1556
@privacyplease1556 9 ай бұрын
Because she’s afraid that if she has standards, men won’t want her
@imnotanalky
@imnotanalky 2 жыл бұрын
He can go to the party early and split before they go to the strippers. I know guys who do this (I’d do the same if my friends were planning this), and it works out fine
@isay207
@isay207 Жыл бұрын
Or can't he sit at the back and just have fun with his friends no physical contact
@dachater1
@dachater1 8 ай бұрын
I don’t know how any wife is ok with husband going to a strip club ?!? A man’s physiological response to a naked woman is going to be there even if he claims that it means nothing and to me that is a violation of our intimidate relationship.
@pauldirc..
@pauldirc.. 3 ай бұрын
How it is violation
@sheilacooper7259
@sheilacooper7259 2 жыл бұрын
My opinion. Cheating. he should not go. Also is degrading to women. Not good.
@noregertsyamsayin8011
@noregertsyamsayin8011 2 жыл бұрын
It's degrading to a willing employee of an establishment? Hes visiting women at their place of work. Is it degrading to women when you visit them at their office as well?
@kenmartinez70
@kenmartinez70 3 ай бұрын
You married that after knowing that he did??? Ah hell no I wouldn't have even considered marrying that.
@Jacgemini
@Jacgemini Жыл бұрын
I definitely think it’s a form of cheating.
@wytentegowawszy
@wytentegowawszy Жыл бұрын
Thank you. It helped me to know im not insane, im not crazy and im not overreacting for feeling hurt and betrayed.
@kimfetter7505
@kimfetter7505 3 ай бұрын
Great question. A lot of people deal with this. Thank you for taking the call and talking boundaries.❤
@Forest__Dream
@Forest__Dream 9 ай бұрын
As a current stripper who's only been in this industry for 6months!! Yes! It is cheating. I personally don't participate in sex or extras myself. It's the men! I’ve literally gotten chewed OUT by married men and bachelors (like wedding is TOMORROW) for not accepting their nasty requests to have sex in VIP! Wtf? I've had couples, always focus on the female, she buys dances for him and it's always me feeling guilty and awkward standing in line with the bf. Trsut me.. strip clubs are not just girls dancing anymore. I've tried to hop around clubs. Girls are having sex in VIP while managers stay hush hush. I left for 2 months and came back the past two weeks bc i need money. I've applied to many restaurants. I hate what this industry has become.. literally brothels. Edit: It's actually messing with regular dancers money it's a whole topic in the stripper community lol. (I live in FL)
@alqoshgirl
@alqoshgirl 2 жыл бұрын
Yes it’s cheating and disgusting
@karlabritfeld7104
@karlabritfeld7104 2 жыл бұрын
And what happens when her engaged friend has a bachelorette party to which she is invited and there will be male strippers there???
@blueseptember2174
@blueseptember2174 Жыл бұрын
Don't go. Get different friends.
@gilmendoza8092
@gilmendoza8092 2 жыл бұрын
This is one of the best episodes…. Thanks
My Fiancé Is Viewing Escort Sites . . . Again
11:45
The Dr. John Delony Show
Рет қаралды 62 М.
Boyfriend Looks At Half-Naked Women On Instagram (Is That Okay?)
13:07
The Dr. John Delony Show
Рет қаралды 187 М.
He sees meat everywhere 😄🥩
00:11
AngLova
Рет қаралды 8 МЛН
Vivaan  Tanya once again pranked Papa 🤣😇🤣
00:10
seema lamba
Рет қаралды 22 МЛН
He Has Threesomes With His Brother (He Thinks It’s Normal)
20:04
The Dr. John Delony Show
Рет қаралды 372 М.
Sex With My Wife Feels Dirty to Me (How Do I Change?)
18:46
The Dr. John Delony Show
Рет қаралды 81 М.
Is My Fiancé Cheating on Me With His Boss?
18:10
The Dr. John Delony Show
Рет қаралды 105 М.
Daughter Is A Stripper (How Do I Save Her?)
9:38
The Dr. John Delony Show
Рет қаралды 62 М.
Why Won’t My Wife Let Go of My Past Porn Issues?
14:15
The Dr. John Delony Show
Рет қаралды 64 М.
My Husband Is Sexting Nine Other Women (Is He Cheating?)
16:21
The Dr. John Delony Show
Рет қаралды 106 М.
My Porn Addiction Is Destroying My Life
23:29
The Dr. John Delony Show
Рет қаралды 545 М.
Should We Cancel Our Engagement?
24:31
The Dr. John Delony Show
Рет қаралды 409 М.
I Cheated on My Husband (Should I Tell Him?)
15:11
The Dr. John Delony Show
Рет қаралды 674 М.
I’m a Survivor of Sex Trafficking. How Do I Tell My New Husband?
27:03
The Dr. John Delony Show
Рет қаралды 285 М.
He sees meat everywhere 😄🥩
00:11
AngLova
Рет қаралды 8 МЛН