Is Having Kids Overrated? (& Other Hot Takes)

[@HectorH-M]

You pronounce the word "coffee" weird.

[@Hunterfeltz]

Nah its just their accent lol

[@aquariumkoifish]

this is such a strange thing to point out lmao

[@osheridan]

Not to sound condescending but I think the way with this specific accent pronounce "o" is really cute tbh

[@fuzzballzz36]

Standard Long Island pronunciation.

[@oceanisaprettyprincess]

you dare? /j

[@celelovessaeran]

the lack of the lesbic fan in the intro still hurts

[@WilliamBrowning]

It feels abusive. She's being willfully cruel. /s

[@slsthewriter1299]

@@WilliamBrowning the world will never know if you are being serious or sarcastic. /s

[@passenger-.xxxxxx]

Why is there no more fan?

[@RainbowFlowerCrow]

​@@passenger-.xxxxxxMaybe it broke(?) We can only whip those things so many times before they break lol

[@miyahlani]

@@passenger-.xxxxxxmy guess is that she omits the fan for sinmas videos so the intro ain't too long. i could be wrong tho

[@viviatwilight]

anyways izumi sena from the hit mobile game ensemble stars thanks for reading

[@KNDNumbuh801]

THIS

[@b0nkb0ii]

Wait, when? I thought he still did the clap for his intro?

[@jbone877]

​@@b0nkb0iihe still does the clap I think, only stopped the extra greeting

[@viviatwilight]

@@jbone877 oh shit sorry my brain somehow got them confused 😭 at least ppl got what i meant

[@WilliamBrowning]

I think she enjoys being withholding. This is abusive. I need the fan. /s

[@misoppas]

As a mom, I will tell anyone don't let people change your mind on the not having child and KEEP BEING SELFISH. Today I hugged my daughter extra tight cause in my country a dad punched their 29 DAYS OLD baby because it was crying so please, if you feel you can't handle don't have any, also remember love doesn't buy the necessities for them.

[@sed6657]

Dated a guy who neglected and ab--ed his son and he blamed me when he finally got CPS called on him and frankly? I wish I could take credit for calling cause the hindsight after the relationship ended said I should have called months prior. He was such an egotistical man and just used his child as a giant ego trip for himself. It was pathetic and sad to watch him resent his own child he went thru court and classes to get and hate his life over a mistake he made at 20 when he knocked up a 16 year old. The whole situation was a giant red flag and a waste of my time - people like that don't change. He ruined his own life and now he's dragging a child down with him. Pathetic to share a room with a six year old at 27 and expect any self-respecting woman to not judge you lol.

[@musicmax1224]

Omg that father punching baby story sounds HORRIFYING!! Was the baby ok?

[@aalmondmilk]

@musicmax1224my guess is no…

[@misoppas]

@sed6657 that is so fucked but also kinda reminds me of my father. He never took care of my half siblings or me but if you asked him about it he says very proudly and with an ego that he has alot of kids lol but I'm glad you got out of that relationship and I hope that kid is in a safer place now ☹️

[@misoppas]

@musicmax1224 Sadly no, he is going to jail but also the mom because to cover what he did she lied on the hospital 😕 a very very sad situation

[@mikeyyoung9294]

I didn't have a choice in having a kid (abortion bans) and honestly I do love my son SO much but I would NEVER wish this upon anyone who doesnt already had a stable life (good income, home, support) and WANTS to be a parent. Loving a kid isn't enough, you need to be able to provide for them too

[@savagesweetheart90]

I've known since I was 10 years old that I never wanted children and now being 34 and working a very demanding law career, I wouldn't be able to care for a child because there are days that I just want to make a bowl of cereal or sandwich and not do a damn thing lol. A child would not survive in that type of environment and it would not be fair to them. Many Blessings to you and your son 🌺❤️

[@cantwin8105]

Yes you had a choice. You chose to have sex. It wasn't because of abortion that gave you no choice unless you were raped

[@luciadreaming9]

Wishing you and your family the best ♥️

[@yas-per]

Wishing u the best, dude

[@mishacumberbatch]

This!!! I'm so sorry you didnt get a choice in the matter, and i am so so so grateful of your child's behalf that you Know. You Know to love and cherish and support. Raise your lil one well, I know you have it in you!!♡♡

[@McFlingleson]

The planet Uranus is largely composed of methane, which is in farts, so that might have been a pun.

[@mumenRhyder]

No Uranus

[@semi_dott]

It's a fact and a pun i love it!

[@zainmudassir2964]

Sailor Uranus

[@melody6874]

I don't know if this is a hot take, but I think society puts WAY too much pressure on people to have biological babies. Like, couples will go through long and expensive medical procedures to get pregnant and have their own baby before even considering adoption as an option. Not to say that adoption isn't also a long and expensive process, of course. But it kinda feels like people think that you can't love and raise a child that you didn't birth yourself. And don't even get me started on the weird mentality men have with being a step parent and "raising another man's kid".

[@Animalsarefamily-p2n]

As a person who was adopted, I completely agree with you. I wish more people would consider adoption as a way to become a parent.

[@rafaguelfand6615]

And if a couple (even white het middle class one) wants to adopt and not have bio kids you get shamed and gaslighted by the government who should want to give children to people who actually want them

[@VesperTime]

This is true even for non-biological children you DID birth. Due to severe endometriosis I was unable to conceive naturally. I ended up using an egg donor to have my son. I grew my son in my own body and gave birth to him myself but have heard from a number of people "But he's not REALLY yours right? He's not biological?" My own father commented that he's not REALLY his grandson because they don't share DNA. It's a disgusting take and a LOT of people really need to rethink their stance on what makes "family."

[@dashzag]

​@@VesperTime I'm so sorry, that's happening to you. I've also struggled with endo, and don't know if I'll be able to get pregnant. WTH is wrong with people, your own father saying that about your baby is awful. DNA doesn't make a parent, or a family for that matter. I hope your boy grows up happy and healthy.

[@VesperTime]

@dashzag 100% I have gone non contact with my father. Not only because of this but a lot of different reasons. But it's extremely sad and disappointing how many people seem to think you have to be blood related to be family. I couldn't possibly love my son more. Genetic relation wouldn't change a thing.

[@Souperasylum]

I'm so glad you brought up misogyny within the lgbt community. I've tried to bring it up to people before, and I've def gotten sour reactions from all kinds of people. Like, I'm not hating on gay men because they are gay. I am frustrated because I often feel unwelcome in our own space as a lesbian. Especially if I am not dressed to the nines for every event.

[@HazZzel-]

No fr. I've stepped back from the community for a variety of reasons, but this is one of them. The weird thing is I see is people in the community say something along the lines of "cis woman" or "straight woman" or even "white woman" to hide their misogyny. Like...just say you're sexist and move on 😭

[@WHO_is_on_first]

Gay men truly think it's impossible for them to be discriminatory, and it's embarrassingly wrong. (Sources: I'm a gay man)

[@DarlingKnight]

I’m so on this with you. I mentioned in my own comment here that in my city (small town Berlin Germany, yknow) we have ZERO lesbian-only bars or clubs, but just some night a week in varying locations. This despite constantly being harassed, fetishised and PHYSICALLY attacked by MEN (in the beginning of this year one of the lesbian bar pop-ups got peppered sprayed multiple times by some incel) We need to collectively do sth about this, it is not ok to be an outcast and marginalised in an already marginalised group

[@GhostlyArtistAj]

Trans gay man here, we get a lot of transphobia, too. I get disrespected and told im a woman all the time, and then the misogyny kicks in too:/ cis gay men really need to do better (obvi not all cis gay guys are bad but yk)

[@madalice5134]

I have an gay uncle who's a misogynistic bigot and he really think being gay gives him a pass to be a pos towards POC and saying misogynistic crap and being homophobic towards lesbians, and looking down on bi people. As a Sapphic bisexual, biracial woman, I can honestly say he's the reason I'm on guard around white gay men. Like we've almost come to blows in the past when he was living with my family because of how awful he is.

[@gabrielledickinson4530]

Rehoming. I also agree, life happens, and sometimes circumstances change. And sometimes rehoming is better for the pet because the parents just can't reasonably take care of them anymore. I hate it when people act like rehoming is some form of abuse or act like the owners must never have cared about the pet at all. It's such a black and white viewpoint and that's not how the world works.

[@SimonLovesSoup]

We had to rehome my sister's 3 dogs after she passed away. It was awful

[@kitkat66766]

I have both of my cats because they were rehomed to me. One of the former owners would have been kicked out of their home if they kept my cat. The others former owner got a new job that keeps him gone for weeks at a time, and he had to move states

[@misoppas]

I would never also understand the "I rather be homeless then rehoming my pet" I think that is selfish. I rather my pet have an stable, warm and secure place with someone else then with me on the car that is gonna be hot/cold depending the weather, small, uncomfortable.

[@gabrielledickinson4530]

@@kitkat66766 One of my friends was forced to give up their dog or be kicked out when they were falsely accused of not cleaning up the poop (turns out it was the neighbors across the street) the lady at the shelter had the audacity to shame my friend about it even though he was crying when he dropped her off. But they have a toddler and couldn't risk being homeless. And I couldn't take her because she hated cats and would possibly kill by boyfriends cat. Sometimes life just get's in the way and it's not like making the dog homeless would have been better.

[@judasdubois]

I had to rehome a shepard that my mom kind of dumped on me and I wasn't able to give her a good life. I felt terrible but the family she wound up with loved her to death and she got a lot better than she was having with me. I still felt terrible though.

[@BroccoliAndCheese01]

5:36 Mom of 4 here. Having kids IS selfish. Life is a gift, but it’s also a massive undertaking, which is why it’s important for us to ensure that our kids are as well cared for and supported as possible. Not just anyone should have kids, which is why the aspect of choice is so important. I can’t imagine raising 4 kids had I not been 100% sure it was what I wanted.

[@KateeAngel]

Life is a gift? 😂 Of what? Suffering, disease and death and witnessing other good people go through all of that? Delulu. Most of you people are so delusional

[@semi_dott]

That's so sweet, i would've loved to have a mom like you 😭♥️

[@alanarama]

I honestly never understand how some one can think not having kids is selfish, it's the opposite. I agree 100% people have kids for selfish(not bad) reasons. I wanted a child so I had one, I did of course consider if I could cope etc but at the end of the day it was because I wanted it. I wasn't doing it for society or anything selfless like that.

[@ki.44524]

​@@alanarama because the kid gains nothing and doesnt get a say to be here anyway

[@nickronca1562]

@@alanarama I don't understand how EITHER having kids OR not having kids is selfish. Like some people don't want or aren't ready to have kids and that's fine, while other people/couples do want/are ready to have kids and that's also fine????

[@Shoulderpads-mcgee]

I agree age gaps are icky and often manipulative and abusive but I wanna put it out there that the whole frontal lobe isn’t developed until you’re 25 thing is bunk and the researchers just stopped at 25 and so our frontal lobes might never stop developing.

[@SkyeSoleil]

Thanks for this. I was gonna say it but glad you did it 😊

[@lanskandal1181]

Reassuring to know that my frontal lobe might still have a chance. :p

[@slsthewriter1299]

Not only that, 25 is an average at best, meaning it's likely not the same between male and female biologies (assuming it's correlated with puberty patterns anyway). It also doesn't take into account late bloomers. Regardless, I think the fixation misses a huge point that we're talking about _physical_ maturity with the frontal lobe, because while hormonally it can and does impact the person in emotional ways, it's not automatically indicative of someone's overall maturity. Largely because people conflate maturity (to be developed) vs maturity (emotional responsibility). Hence why karens are a thing.

[@eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee8]

I hate when people say this because it’s simply not true !! It’s not “oh I’m 25 it’s all set in stone” There is a range. Females are typically done from 20-30 and males are from 25-35. There’s a solid ten year gap where some may be done developing yet others aren’t quite there. And males tend to take longer to develop their frontal lobes. It’s not instantaneous at 25 like people online talk about it. It’s gradual and occurs overtime. Anyways, rant over lol

[@gunnasintern]

yeah the whole brain thing is a myth, it’s been debunked as a myth ever since i was a kid. our brains are always developing since we’re always learning and growing

[@emomu]

I'm not sure if "overrated" is the right word to use for having kids, but I do agree that there society places an unnecessary expectation for people (especially women) to have children by age 30. At the end of the day, having children should be a personal choice and people really need to consider whether they're financially (and mentally) prepared to be raising children for the rest of their lives. We also need to get rid of the notion that people are "complete" with kids or even a spouse.

[@osheridan]

Society is so weird about kids. One group is all "protect them from the evil scary ever so mild fictional stories! have 12 children a day!" and another is like "children are inherently little monsters who should be forbidden from having feelings or breathing". They're people! Treat them like people!

[@darrenm.7980]

overrated made it seem more hot takey

[@gunnasintern]

every child deserves a parent, but not everyone should be a parent. it’s just like being in a relationship is optional. plus with how super early 20s/30s are in life, people are better off finding out who they are and building a stable life for themselves. i knew and accepted this when i was a kid, if a 5th grader can get it i’m sure legal adults can too

[@KateeAngel]

It is. It is the right word

[@ThatRedhedd]

I love the smell of no kids in the morning!

[@whowantstogame]

the couples thing is SO true. even as an aroace person who is somewhat put off by talks/displays of romance and affection, i would never DREAM of commenting miserable things like that under couples posts. i get that those people are lonely or sad or something of the sort, but really? c'mon now

[@bobanoda]

For the booktok thing, I agree to an extent. The idea of women/non cishet men enjoying smut or books in general is absolutely healthy and a net positive. With that, I do agree that men shitting on the concept is misogynistic. However, booktok in reality has soooo many issues (sexualizing REAL minors, obsession with sex to an unhealthy extent, doxxing, racism, etc etc) that I can’t find myself defending it 😭 but the idea of reading erotica or romance books to fulfill fantasy is a very healthy concept!

[@strawberryjam4107]

Thank you for mentioning the actual issues and not lumping in "immoral fantasies" with it because so many people misunderstand and think poorly of these women for being into the whole dark romance thing and 'romanticizing' abuse when that is not the issue of this community, fantasy is totally fine. A little cringe maybe but it hurts no one. THANK YOU

[@codydion9812]

I agree men shitting on the concept itself is misogynistic, I do think criticizing how they go about it (sometimes) is valid, like you said the sexualizing of minors, obsessing over sex etc. Cause I don’t have an issue with people enjoying smut, I just think the “keep it in the bedroom” thought process should be exercised more, like don’t be commenting under random TikToks like “wait till booktok hears about this” cause most of the time, those are kids! And the rest of the time, maybe people don’t wanna be exposed to that!

[@lupazxyz]

The books "those" tiktokers recommended are even more misogynistic I'm crying 😭 "If he is hot, misogynistic he is not" ass books 🍇

[@boogiebear3095]

I have never been around BookTok and now I’m glad. I feel for the minors involved

[@user-ayiy824jbd]

@@strawberryjam4107so what, 🍇 is fine if it’s fiction?? you should be asking yourself why reading about it doesn’t make you sick. yall are weird

[@astrogirllo]

on the topic of rehoming pets. my sister adopted a 1 year old cat from someone that couldn’t keep her anymore for some reason. but when we got the cat she wouldn’t tell us any information about her (vet info, registration, what to feed her, personality) she refused to tell us anything because she was ‘too sad’. when we took the cat to the vet the next day she had an ear infection in both ears, stomach problems, scratches on her tongue (from feeding her out of a can) and anxiety. on top of that they couldn’t tell if she had been microchipped or desexed and when we tried to contact the previous owner she blocked us. the kitty is doing great now she’s a very happy girl. but some people just shouldn’t have pets.

[@BarbieDreamDungeon]

That's so sad, I'm glad your cat is happy now

[@strawbunni6834]

Right like isn't it better that they did ONE right thing and rehomed her. People that hoard animals despite not caring for them are worse in my opinion. It's awful what sh3 went through, but at least she's safe and cared for now

[@ChrysSpecter]

Just curious where you're from that a vet could not easily tell if a cat was neutered or not. In the USA cats are tattooed on their tummies when they're altered, or they're given an ear clip (cut a slice of the ear) for TNR cats so others know they're neutered if they can manage to get the cat in a house. You can also make reports to Animal Enforcement about prior animal abuse based on the condition of the cat at the vet visit. She sounds like an absolutely garbage person. Glad the kitty is safe now! I have 10 because I take in any stray that willingly comes up to me and the Cat Distribution System really likes me I guess. It's massive work, but honestly so worth it.

[@TheForesttKing]

I think responsibly rehoming an animal is the BEST thing to do if you find you are not compatible or you cannot or do not want to take care of them. Best for you and for them, get them into a home where they will be loved and appreciated. Then everyone is happy.

[@osheridan]

That one was weird cause it wasn't a hot take

[@loremipsum2237]

​@@osheridanit is something people argue about, so it is in fact a hot take.

[@ThatRedhedd]

If they educated themselves about the needs of the animal before getting them & intended to meet those needs for the entire life of the animal, then there should be no judgement if they later are forced to rehome them. Judgement is warranted, however, if they got the pet without doing research first, or without giving any thought to how big of a commitment it would be. Nobody should get a pet if they don't intend to keep the animal for life or haven't learned what that will entail. Behavior issues are NOT an acceptable excuse, since those can be fixed.

[@TheForesttKing]

@@ThatRedhedd I think as long as the animal is healthy, fed, and ends up in a good place then it doesn't really matter. You can judge those people but it won't change anything fir them or the animal in question.

[@GarageBandKing012]

While I agree with larger age gaps being weird as hell, I absolutely hate the whole "brain finishes developing at 25" thing. Its just incorrect. It came from some dipshit reporter look at a study on brain development where the oldest subject in the sample was 25. Your brain literally never stops developing, that's how it continues to form new memories and skills.

[@eerielconstantine5051]

That would’ve been nice to know lol I kept away from pot before I was 25 so it wouldn’t impact my brain development 😂

[@KairiMorin]

I agree that parents should have to take classes before they are allowed to raise children. My mom has told me she wished that she would have had access to classes on parenting. She regrets so many things she did because she didn't know it was bad or wrong at the time (she gave birth to me at 18, and my brother at 21).

[@Diamond123682]

Not too keen on the word "allowed" here (I already made my own long-winded comment about requirements for parents), but yes, parenting classes _need_ to be more accessible. Hell, expert info on parenting at all. And not just whatever google throws at you when you search "baby only sleeps for an hour what do?"

[@KairiMorin]

@Diamond123682 You can't force people to take parenting classes, it wouldn't help anyone. Besides, I don't know what you'd do with the people who already have children or want them but would refuse the class. Jail? Take away the kids? That just created new problems.

[@Diamond123682]

@@KairiMorin I never said there should be consequences (in my own comment, I even said there should be incentives), legal or otherwise. I just said they need to be accessible.

[@KairiMorin]

@Diamond123682 You think they aren't accessable how? They'd be free, and have in person and online versions. I don't think there's much more you could do. That would go into should the government offer assistance to help struggling parents. Which they should, the government should be responsible for helping struggling parents.

[@Diamond123682]

@ I hear you. Idk where you live, but in some rural, poor communities here in the US, people may be hard pressed to be able to attend a class or take one online. Hell, where I grew up, I never even went to the public library because anything other than church was “wasting gas”. I did the fun stuff when friends could give me a ride. I suppose getting sent a free, state approved book of your choosing would be a start? Then you receive the incentives if you can demonstrate that you read it, like passing a mail-in test on key points in the book. If you don’t pass, then whatever. No incentives and you’ll have to rely on your ability to wing it when it comes to raising your kids. You’ll have the option to try again, though. And, hey! You still got a free book! All I know is, especially when it comes to people in my country, most folks won’t do the right thing unless something is in it for them. Imagine the 180 that would happen if we effectively paid people to learn about Maria Montessori or Dr. Spock.

[@susuzee666]

i rehomed a dog and it was so, so difficult. i'd wanted my own dog for my entire life, been researching breeds since i was a kid, bought everything the pup would need, looked for reputable shelters, the whole shebang. adopted a beautiful pittie mix. and very quickly learned i am not equipped to take care of a dog on my own. it was my first time living alone, i spent all my time at work, i was constantly stressed, worried, crying my eyes out, i felt like i had post-partum depression (apparently very common and called puppy blues!) so i gave him back to the shelter and sponsored his adoption fee, donated all the food and tools and toys i had bought to the shelter. he went to an amazing family of 4 within a couple of days. it was a giant money sink for me but it was worth it knowing dante is in a house where his family loves him instead of having a single mom who can barely look at him without having a panic attack. everyone tells you how much work dogs are but it's really hard to fathom that level of effort when you haven't lived through it alone. now i have 2 cats and i've never been happier :) i'm a cat girlie through and through.

[@mitochondria558]

People are extremely rude and aggressive about this issue online especially. What's important is the dog has a good home. I had the situation where I found a dog who had been dumped, and it turned out to be a dog who had been rehomed. I found the original owners and people on Facebook were messaging me telling me not to give the dog back. Just because by default, they were bad people because they had rehomed. They were good people, they had just been misguided in rehoming the dog when they had a baby. They obviously loved her, and were obviously wealthy enough to take care of her health issues (English bulldog) they felt terrible about what had happened to her, and I'm pretty sure they figured out how to make it work this time around. People can grow and change. Dog people on Facebook are some the craziest people out there lol, they have a very black and white way of thinking.

[@Wanettepoems]

I had a similar experience. I have a burnout, so I have very little energy as is, but I thought I could take care of a cat. So I research, get the stuff, and find this cat who legit is the bestest, really clever and adorable to the nines. But then I noticed my mental health took a turn for the worse. It was as if I could only take care of one at a time - me or her, and of course I couldn't choose me since she depended on me. She lives with a family member now, and from all I can see they are both happy and healthy, and I like visiting them... but there's always a sizeable dose of guilt left from what feels like not delivering on my promise, not being good enough, and also some lingering sadness about not being able to live the cat life. I can't help but wonder if it's really fair for me to love her, after I couldn't keep her.

[@susuzee666]

@@Wanettepoems i completely understand, i still have love for the dog i adopted. you were still a part of that cat's life, a step toward getting her toward her forever home, and she will always look at you fondly for that. any act of kindness toward an animal is a good one, even if it isn't sustainable for the long term!

[@mitochondria558]

Agree about age gaps. I was 30 and dating a 50-year-old guy, because I have no issue with it if both people are over 30, but then I found out he had dated a 19-year-old girl right before me 😬 I only found out because his brother made a joke about me being "too old" for him. Relationship didn't last too long after that lol

[@potaetoooo]

oh god i hope the 19 yo is okay and hope ur doing okay too!

[@KatieStAmand]

On age gaps - my 28 year old sister said it felt weird to even acknowledge that a 20 year old celebrity was attractive… meanwhile her and her boyfriend started dating when she was 20 and he was 38(!!!). I truly don’t understand it but there’s definitely some mental gymnastics around why their situation is “different” even when they can acknowledge that other similar relationships are creepy.

[@Xjudissnjx-el3ix]

She may be in denial because she doesn't want to acknowledge he did something bad and she was a victim of his actions.

[@caniusetheps5]

I CANT AGREE MORE WITH THE PARENTAL TRAINING ONE. I’ve heard too many parents who do not understand child psychology, phrases like “let them cry it out” that causes an insecure attachment style and will effect that child for the rest of their life lol, you have to pay attention to your kids, listen to them when they cry because that is their only way to communicate when they are that young.

[@cupcakebruh]

5:28 I 100% agree. I've said this to my mother before and she went off on me about how you have to be selfless when you have children. (btw, I'm childless and my mother is a narcissist ironically) My mother has repeatedly said the classic line "You should be thankful, I brought you into this world!" But I didn't ask for that. No one asks to be born. Choosing to bring a child into the world is a selfish act. Taking care of said child SHOULD be a selfless one.

[@WatashiMachineFullCycle]

My mum tried to trip me up once with something like that. It wasn't that she wanted to force me to be grateful, she had confided in me that she had an abortion before she had me, and was waxing philosophical about what that baby could have been like, or how I wouldn't be here if she decided not to have me too, and asked how that made me feel. I shrugged and went "nothing? If you did, I just wouldn't be here so I wouldn't be able to BE upset about it". And she was like, completely stunned by that.

[@nickronca1562]

@@WatashiMachineFullCycle She as stunned by you stating the obvious? She must not be very smart.

[@WatashiMachineFullCycle]

@@nickronca1562 My mum can be a little spacey, but I mean... calling her stupid is a little rude, no?

[@nickronca1562]

@@WatashiMachineFullCycle Maybe, I'm sorry. You have to admit though, even if she isn't stupid as a whole, the fact thar that question had such an obvious answer and the fact that she didn't see the obvious answer coming was pretty stupid of her. You're right though, I shouldn't have generalized her and called her stupid as a whole just based on one stupid moment, especially since we all have our stupid moments sometimes.

[@WatashiMachineFullCycle]

@nickronca1562 Yeah, it's all good! I'd describe my mum as more silly than anything. She's the type to just say the first thing that comes to her mind, no filter. Deffo got my ADHD from her if you get me. So lots of dumb moments but she's not a dumb lady c:

[@amnesiaenjoyer]

you're absolutely spot on about age gaps. the 25 rule with large age gaps is the best minimum

[@moglibogli313]

Did you mean bare?

[@reallygoodatfolding]

Every time Anna-Marie says ‘coffee’ a year is added to my life

[@clover3602]

In Australia, the government recently banned vape imports and flavoured vapes for commercial sale. People who need them to quit smoking can still get them through a pharmacy, but honestly I'm glad the government is making it harder for kids to get addicted and harm their lungs

[@aaron4876]

Very much agree with ur take on kids. Ik for a fact I’m too selfish to be a good parent. And it’s better to be self aware about it and to make the (arguably selfless) decision to not have a kid; rather than having a kid just for the selfish pleasure of having a “mini me”. Also on that note: I hate it when parents name their kids after themselves. Like it’s such a blatant show of your motivation to have kids just to “pass on a legacy”. It feels so icky birthing a child just to put on them expectations that you failed to live up to in ur own life

[@rafaguelfand6615]

"What don't you want kids?" "I like spending money on myself :)"

[@ThatRedhedd]

I love the smell of no kids in the morning!

[@dashzag]

The mini-me part always gives me the ick. It's like, you know kids are individuals right? They're their own people, not your dolly.

[@starlessskyline]

im a fan of the kitties darting in and out of the bg, pls tell them they are doing a great job❤

[@boogiebear3095]

I love seeing them too. Cats being cats is the best thing ever.

[@peace5576]

2:31 this is a kind reminder to adopt pets and not buy them

[@procyonpaw]

Hot take: I say adopt or shop responsibly. I agree people should always look to adopt a pet from a shelter before they think about buying, but there are ethical breeders out there who are not contributing to the shelter population, and some people who have specific requirements (e.g. allergies, need for a working dog, want the predictability that comes with extensive health-testing, etc). My next cats will be from a shelter (or let's face it, probably just picked up from the streets lol), but I did have a dog from an ethical breeder.

[@SirShyBoi]

All my pets have been rescued, 1 was unfortunately kept in a cage and was neglected, we had to get her to the pet hospital and she had a skull fracture but she has been so awesome and healthy and super smart and knows not to have her elbows on the table, and everyone has been. Other than that I 100000% agree with adopting, but the horror stories I hear about what happens to pets at Petco or PetSmart is so sad! I just feel bad for all of those precious souls

[@procyonpaw]

@@SirShyBoi Absolutely! I'm glad there is more awareness regarding pet store puppies, but it's clearly not enough because people still buy from them. I would like to see the selling of live animals in pet stores banned. That or require pet store animals to be sourced from shelters/rescues. No ethical breeder is going to want their animals sold through pet stores, so that leaves pet stores to either make the ethical choice of partnering up with shelters/rescues to rehome shelter animals, or source puppies/kittens from mills (mass-breeding facilities churning out puppies/kittens for profit). The latter is very common with chain pet stores. I'm glad your pet is in a better place now. That's horrifying. To let an animal fracture their skull I mean. I bet she's so much happier with you.

[@MarssBarss-k3e]

Nope. Adopt OR shop responsibly.

[@SkyeSoleil]

All my dogs were adopted 😊 the kitten, however, was dispensed by the cat distribution system

[@jenimhills]

Dating as a 32 year old - I find myself hesitant to date 25 year olds. I can still feel the age gap. My minimum tends to be 28.

[@thetinmanwich]

Pretty much everyone talks about these huge gaps in either assume you're immature or it's a coping mechanism for more self esteem. Like you've run out of things to be proud of and all you have left with is age.

[@moonkitty4213]

It’s tends to be older men that do this and I think it’s a fetish thing. Gross.

[@mitochondria558]

Same. And even that is a case-by-case basis, haha.

[@rafaguelfand6615]

Also 32 y/o here. A 19 y/o pursued me last years and I entretained him with one date.... jfc

[@childeater319]

@@rafaguelfand6615should not have entertained it at all

[@Coyoteari]

As someone who has had to rehome a pet, thank you for being understanding. Tl;dr new puppy didn’t get along great with older dogs, stuck it out for a year, but by the end none of them could be in the same room without getting insanely aggressive, and it took another year after the rehoming for the original two to get along again. It’s the single hardest thing I’ve ever done in my life, and I still feel guilty that I couldn’t give her the best life all these years later. She was taken in by family of a close friend who already owned the same breed, and I know she’s thriving there, but it still hurts. It’s very nice to see not everyone immediately assumes the worst about rehoming

[@SilvrRazorFeather]

Not as dramatic of a situation, but I have a large goldfish tank and accidentally bought a koi. Didn't realize it was a koi til it started growing in it's whiskers, and I had to give him away to a friend's neighbor who had a pond. There was no way I could give it a tank big enough and a pond was out of the question since we were renting at the time. I had already bonded with him and it hurt to let him go but it's absolutely the better place for him

[@CompComp]

I gave up a dog because an ex-boyfriend started to turn the abuse on my dog. My dog was adopted by a rich family. They sent me yearly Christmas pictures until he passed. I kept trying to leave the abusive ex. I was young and honestly inexperienced and easy to manipulate (homeschool unsocialized on top of that). I still feel horrible about the situation.....still. I was a dog groomer at the time. I had to bring my dog to work because I was scared he'd hurt the dog while I was at work.

[@439801RS]

I'm potentially facing that reality now, but with rabbits, in June I took a new fella home, from a litter at my work. And slowly, I've been trying my best to introduce him to my already bonded couple, which is known to be hard. There's been times it seemed to work, grooming each other in my living room, but trying to put them together in their forever environment just results in them chasing each other and clear stress. So at some point I might have to look at the possibility of rehoming the new guy. At least there's a possibility he could return to my work, where his mom and sisters still are, but I'd still miss him and feel like I failed him

[@randomweirdo1639]

dark romance actually is my worst nightmare as someone who was first stalked when i was 6 and too young to know what stalking is, but i also get that it's not neccesarily what they want in real life. criticize the books, not the people. it reminds me of tuberculosis, over-romanticized by people who have a huge disconnect from the horror of what the romanticization is based on.

[@thatcloveplant]

"law doesn't always dictate morality" REAL 🗣️🗣️

[@jasminejacob1870]

People need to know this and learn about jury nullification

[@kiksyame1481]

I've been hearing the "You'll want them when you're older" since maybe 18. I am 31, childfree and finally enjoying hobbies I couldn't afford before. I am selfish. I don't even have enough time for hobbies XD

[@ThatRedhedd]

I love the smell of no kids in the morning!

[@kiksyame1481]

@@ThatRedhedd Right? Getting up at 9am and reading for additional 30 minutes is really nice :D

[@Lcontes]

1:16 CAT IN THE BACKGROUND SHOW US CAT

[@dreamingofbeans]

battling ED for so long and u did reality check me.... thank u.... ur right I do deserve a meal before 4pm

[@Evan-k]

I read that as erectile disfunction

[@hawkgirl9984]

5:28 my mother keeps passive aggressively bullying me about how I haven't given her grandchildren yet. I'm 25, not even married yet, my boyfriend has to finish trade school before we talk about marriage, like wtf. I want kids eventually sure, but I have this nagging feeling in the back of my head that yknow. Maybe I don't *actually* want kids and it's just my innate desire to make everyone happy that is making me feel guilty about not having kids. My own mother was in her late 20s early 30s when she had me. I'm not even there yet

[@jksgothbaby]

About the dark romance thing, agree to an extent, however reading books that romantize and almost glorifies rape , abuse etc is highly disrespectful to actual victims of said things. It also normalises these things when they promote and talk highly on the books online especially to young people. I just find it weird in general that someone would be turned on by rape for example.

[@AnnamarieForcino]

There’s a line, for sure. There’s a portion of the dark romance genre that’s just straight up trauma p0rn.

[@Sapphire3759]

As someone who has accidentally stumbled into dark romance, I found it helps me process my trauma. It gives me a moment to just cry when I didn't realize I was holding it back and watching the character overcome their situation gives me hope i can too. I know nit everyone who reads dark romance does this but just wanted to add my perspective

[@jksgothbaby]

@@Sapphire3759 Thats great for you i hope you heal. To make it clear im not invalidating you. I was more so talking about the potential problem i see of women online romanticizing traumatic situations that happen to women and other people in real life and promoting and speaking highly of the books. Theres a concering amount of people whos never even gone through the trauma themselves praising male characters who are straight up abusers and rapists. I think thats the harmful part.

[@blackforge1374]

Writing about a real person’s experience without their consent would fall under these lines. But proposing that authors should not put rape or violence in books because others have suffered through it is ridiculous. Some controversial readers use fiction like EMDR - it can give them a space to address their own traumas in a controlled manner. Reading about a thing =/= being “turned on” by it. Based on this argument, nobody should read fiction involving war, either. Say goodbye to more than half of fantasy and sci-fi. And horror? lol that wouldn’t exist at all in this paradigm. This new internet age need for simplistic, clearly delineated political statements alongside every controversial action in fiction makes online reviewers believe ridiculous ideas about other people.

[@jksgothbaby]

@@blackforge1374 Respectfully youre completely missing my point. The fact that theyre writing about it isnt a problem. I myself watch a lot of crime shows with scenes like that in them. Its the fact that its GLORIFIED and marketed as ROMANCE. Im not saying you cant write about graphic things , its how you do it. These authors and a lot of fans of these books fawn over men who are doing nasty things to the main character, THATS the problem. Im not one to judge how people cope with their traumas however a lot of the people fawning over these fictional abusers and rapists have not gone through that trauma themselves. Before you write next time try to think critically about what im saying.

[@topotondo828]

When my mom's cancer came back she tried to rehome her dog, but things fell through with the potential adoptive family and she didn't keep looking (not sure why, maybe it was too much effort). We were a little bit estranged and she would take some time to respond to texts and so when a week went by after Christmas and I didn't hear from her, it turned out she had passed and her dog unfortunately did too. I feel so bad about the whole thing, especially for the dog. I know that the dog was probably good company for her at the end of her life but I wish she had managed to rehome him.

[@Matt_the_pirate]

Did the dog starve to death? Did her family put it down? What happened?

[@topotondo828]

@@Matt_the_pirate Starved.

[@SilvrRazorFeather]

That's such a sad situation, but I can't blame her, with everything she must've had on her plate. The dog absolutely didn't deserve it but sometimes fate is cruel.

[@youngbryzzle9360]

As someone who was once anti-croc, I now also love my fur-lined crocs

[@razieldazzle]

My mother owns a pair of the most hideous iridescent glittery crocs known to all of human kind, embedded with dollar tree jewels, and I love them. She has and will wear them with anything, and they are blinding in direct sunlight.

[@SkyeSoleil]

@@razieldazzle I don’t know your mom, but I love her

[@WosiePosieCozy]

​@@razieldazzle your mother is an icon.

[@razieldazzle]

@@SkyeSoleil She also has a pair of florescent pink boots, which she will also pair with anything. She replaced the regular laces on them with bright, glittery red ones. Those are one of my favorites as well.

[@razieldazzle]

@@WosiePosieCozy She'd love to hear that! She makes her own earrings to go with her outfits and shoes, and will buy large sets just to take them apart and combine the ones she thinks look nice.

[@1BiChristianF]

I"m a mom because that's what I always wanted but if you don't want them then you shouldn't have them find fulfillment in whatever you speaks to you

[@nicolesmusicreviews1889]

Hot take: bringing new life into this world is borderline child abuse, the way things are going currently. Also, I agree with The Click that there should be a license to have kids. (Yes, as The Click says, it _would_ be a nightmare to actually enforce, but....) Also, I'm a tea girlie, but I do agree that espresso is the worst form of coffee.

[@yama4501]

I had to rehome my pet bc we were kicked out of our house and had to move into a small apartment :( I was so sad to say goodbye. we saved her. she was my little baby. but she was in a really good home and was taken care of brilliantly

[@DogMechanic]

Good job rehoming her. You did good.

[@peachy4128]

About 10:15 I love writing messed up stuff in fiction and shipping wacky stuff in fiction. I can confidently say I DO NOT want to see men fuck irl, see siblings kiss, etc, etc. I keep to myself about it and if no one is interested in it, I'm most certainly not going to shove it in everyone's face and make them feel forced to listen to me. I enjoy it because it is fictional and I do not have to do it in real life, nor see it in real life whatsoever. I understand completely when people are put off by it, but there's so much hate that I do not agree with (like death threats). I also don't like when people take REAL LIFE people and write about them, draw them, etc etc. Those are real people who have thoughts, and feelings, and who may or may not have HURT REAL LIFE PEOPLE. That's not dark romance, or shipping imo, that's just being disrespectful and creepy. That's all I really have to say about it. I'm very passionate about this stuff because I've seen so much discourse about it online, especially when it comes to shipping. Edit: to add on, I absolutely do not like the hate towards fanfictions. I think it's truly ridiculous. In my personal experience, I tried explaining to my ex-boyfriend why I like fanfictions and writing them and reading them, or reading Danmei books, and he would always call it ridiculous, but in the same moment, tried to act out some of the smut scenes with them irl. I did not want that. It's about respect at the end of the day and not letting it affect you, or anyone else. If it's not affecting anyone else, then I don't think it should matter as much. But I completely understand the criticism when it comes to dragging it irl or dragging irl to fiction.

[@user-ayiy824jbd]

1) no way you compared gay people to INCEST and 2) why does it appeal to you? It should make you feel sick. If reading romanticized abuse makes you feel anything but awful you need a therapist

[@ShaelynneDFuller]

I giggled through parts of the video where your cats were playing. So cute watching fur babies play.

[@jaithewizard]

16:22 This is going to be a very spicy take but if we're going to talk about racism in the community we need to have a conversation around how white trans women have historically treated black queer people compared to their white peers. Obviously not all white trans women, but it feels like we (poc) aren't allowed to call out racism in their direction without being accused of trans misogynistic behavior. White woman tears are still white woman tears whether you're cis or trans boo

[@bisexualmunch]

this reminds me of a video where this white person at a blm protest was grabbing the mic out of a black man’s hand (basically taking it from him which is weird bc shouldve we be listening to black ppl at a blm protest?) but in the comments the white person was just complaining how everyone was misgendering them instead of apologizing for trying to steal the spotlight.

[@de.llusion1614]

The parenting training I agree with. It might also make some people realize they really don’t want a kid.

[@Diamond123682]

I know the [optional] parenting class I took in high school did that for me. I had to take care of one of those crying dolls. I'm sorry, but I like my sleep. 😂

[@llamaarmy7501]

9:49 i agree, but HOLY when i see people who openly talk about a book or a fic that they like where the main topic is romanticizing adult x minor. I will judge HEAVILY

[@pastedino6670]

REAL!!! I'm sorry but I WILL judge u if u consume content that sexualizes children

[@elleirenex3]

Forever thankful to my notifications for telling me about Sinmas drops 😍

[@VesperTime]

I am a single woman with infertility struggles who desperately wanted a child. It took me two years, way more money than I care to discuss, and a lot of struggle to finally get my son. I think he is 1000% worth it and I would do it again. HOWEVER, I also agree with the commenter that not everyone needs kids to be fulfilled. Society absolutely puts way too much pressure on young people (women) to get married and have a bunch of babies. The majority of my friend group do not want kids ever and that is the appropriate choice for them. I honestly believe that people having children they don't want or feel pressured into having is so much worse than just not having them. No one should make this choice unless it's something they genuinely want. And you shouldn't bring a new human into this world if you aren't prepared to sacrifice for them. It's time society stopped being so weird about babies and just let people make their own choices.

[@Logitah]

My friend was forced to rehome her gecko due to financial reasons and somebody freaked out at her in the Facebook marketplace, commenting on how she needs to prioritise her pet over "the newest phone" (which she doesn't have) and stuff like that. My friend literally has two kids and very little money. 😑 Christ I sometimes hate people online!

[@JustAddOtter]

I run a small animal sanctuary, and I try my best to let the owners come back for some play time. :) It makes the animal feel better seeing an old friend, and I find that those who find new homes for small animals care for them and like seeing them be happy. :)

[@chloek6277]

My hot take is that as much as I love technology, it is completely ruining our social connection. It absolutely helps connect people and share knowledge, but I’m talking about physical relationships. Communities are so much more distant with each other and people are a lot meaner to strangers. Older generations grew up knowing everyone in town or their area at least, they were all friends with neighbors, they actually talked to people. Now you don’t even talk to people ordering at Taco Bell, you order at the kiosk and they call your name. We’ve become so much more isolated from human connection and we’re addicted to social media because it’s the one place we can get any of it.

[@runningthemeta5570]

I definitely agree about the stuff with having kids. I am not financially and mentally capable of having kids and I will not let anyone talk me into having a child even if they think I would be a good parent just because I love my cats.

[@ThatRedhedd]

I love the smell of no kids in the morning!

[@teejitagupta]

as an owner of shrek crocs with weed pins on it i am extremely offended at the very first take

[@patientno7101]

(gay man here) misogyny among esp gay men is 100000% a pressing issue in our community as well as the treatment of (mlm) trans men. what saddens me greatly aswell is when non-men turn around and see it as an excuse to be homophobic/extremely cruel to us in a general manner to vent frustration :( DISCLAIMER absolutely hope i'm not coming off as the "umm what about men" guy in a convo about misogyny and imply one thing is worse than the other or something. i'm just sick of the infightig, hate leads to more hate and it's up to us to hold each other accountable and halt the cycle

[@Hesgot_apoint]

No misunderstandings here. Discussion and respect in necessary.

[@Whatdoititlethislmao]

EVERYONE STOP WHAT YOURE DOING ITS DAY 6 OF SINMAS

[@Afton_of_2006]

Christmas get it right or atleast say rizzmas. Sinmas sounds so cringe Lil dude

[@justingerald]

Don't have kids if you don't want to (obv we need not get into legality here). And if you do want to, prepare as much as you can. To me, the biggest thing was tending to my own mental health so I was the best dad for my sons. A work in progress but I think this is a big issue for a lot of parents.

[@ChaoticNeutralGoth]

I would like to add on the misogyny in queer community take and expand it with (possibly hot) take of my own. Yes a lot of gay men are very misogynistic, and I have experienced it myself too and I absolutely think it's something we as a community need to talk about more and work on BUT I also think a lot of women, both queer and straight are way too comfortable with taking frustrations they have with cis men on trans men/trans masc ppl. Trans men are men and that's absolutely how you should see them but they are men who have experienced all the same things women have and who understand misogyny and everything that comes with it. There is nuance to it all that a lot of people are just not acknowledging. You can understand that trans men have experiences that make them different from cis men but that don't make them any less of a man. I know I'm not the only one who has experienced this and I see a lot of trans men and trans masc people talk about being pushed aside and either mistreated or straight up forgotten by cis people from both sides of the community (and cishet ppl too but that's given). A lot of trans men still experience misogyny for number of reasons (be it because they don't pass, can't start medical transition, people just being assholes...etc) and yes a lot of it does come from cis gay men (them being disgusted by afab anatomy thing for one) and yet we are simply not included into the conversation? Which is kind of a running gag when it comes to things in general tbh. AFAB reproductive health is something we should get to have opinion on and talk about too for one. English isn't my first language so I hope I'm conveying my thoughts well but I'm just trying to say that there is distinctio and whole lot more nuance to this than this community is ready for. And I would just briefly like to add that the whole who has done what for queer community conversation tends to be very American centric and it is kind of impossible to have a conversation about queer rights without some American mentions events that have nothing to do with my country and that have done literally nothing for me.

[@SophieRoseLive]

As a trans woman, they aren't comfortable enough doing that. Some of the most vile misogyny I've ever experienced has come from trans men

[@dangerxbadger2300]

​@SophieRoseLivenot the time. Absolutely not the place. Your pain is valid, but does not in any way invalidate this gentleman's points or opinions. Shame on you for saying ANYONE should be MORE comfortable lobbing any sort of hatred or passing the buck on dealing with their own feelings onto anyone, ever. Gross.

[@dangerxbadger2300]

You speak and write more fluently, clearly and intelligently, with great vocabulary by the way, than most native English speakers I've seen online. I think that distinction between a trans man and a cis one and how the difference in their roles in patriarchal systems, their respective receipts of male privilege and their roles and participation in toxic masculinity are going to be massively different is SO important for women to realize. I'm actually an AFAB demiromantic mostly ace pan girly who strongly prefers femmes and am mostly completely turned off physically and emotionally by almost all cishet men(there have been rare exceptions, like the father of my 2nd child, yes, I discovered who I am and what I truly want and need after I'd already lived a LOT of life lmao), but trans men, post op or otherwise, have always been an exception to that and I have had mild to moderate crushes on most of the ones I've met, even though I'd always considered myself mostly Sapphic. I think it's BECAUSE of those exact differences and their unique experiences that I'm able to experience that attraction. Thank you for sharing your experiences. ❤

[@SophieRoseLive]

@@dangerxbadger2300 sorry for thinking misogyny is bad I guess. I forgot women are supposed to just take it

[@ChaoticNeutralGoth]

@SophieRoseLive Your experience and my experience and what I'm talking about can both in fact be true and coexist. I don't doubt that there are some trans men who are misogynistic but there are women (both cis and trans) who are misogynistic too. Person can be an asshole regardless of their gender. Cis women have shown time and time again that they aren't allies to trans community (not every cis women ofc) and just because they are experiencing discrimination that doesn't mean they can't discriminate.

[@Saezimmerman]

Training for new parents actually sounds pretty good. Some of the misinformation my mother had and passed on was pretty wild & it horrifies me to think of how little I had unlearned by my mid-20s.

[@MissBlueEyeliner]

I’m relation to age gaps; I’m 34 and the thought of dating anyone under 30 horrifies me. Even 30 seems too young to me. Someone my age being into a 21 year old makes me queasy.

[@dumbartsupremacy6025]

omg the booktok misogyny comment was mine !!! i kinda fangirled when u read it i love u ❤❤❤

[@Rawrz013]

2:00 i had to rehome one of my cats about 5 years ago when i had to move cities and couldnt afford anywhere that allowed cats. she had health issues that i no longer could afford to care for, and rehoming her was one of the hardest things i ever did because i had her when she was 8 weeks old to 7 years old. rehoming an animal with their best interest at heart and swallowing pride to admit that you can no longer care for them is really fucking hard and my heart seriously goes out to people who have to go through that. that being said, dont buy people animals as gifts for holidays T_T

[@madisonpetri7361]

I understand what people mean by their takes on age gap relationships, but putting out hard numbers like that misses the point. I'd rather focus on the power dynamics than the actual age of the people involved*, and that's going to vary from couple to couple. And of course, the wider the age gap the warier I become. *For context, obviously I'm talking solely about relationships between adults.

[@rafaguelfand6615]

Someone told me I was groomed because i was 22 (with a job) and dating a 27 y/o man (a student)... like, bro...

[@childeater319]

Well grown adults minimum is being in mid 20s 19 and 26 will always be weird

[@lilliputianhitcher3808]

i think it’s kinda crazy that people think they have a legacy worth carrying on

[@ThatRedhedd]

💯💯💯

[@OBAgentcel]

regarding rehoming: happens often with birds, because they outlive their owners often.

[@sabathecat9492]

i wanna pay attention to the vid, but the kitties playin' in the background are sOO ADORABLE

[@dumb_geck.o5597]

I feel like another hot take is queer sex Ed, even if the school is religious or whatever. It's a schools responsibility to EDUCATE, and keep people safe regardless if you agree with what they are doing or not - and the 'condom on the banana' isn't going to realistically educate everyone on safe practices. Queer education in history and other things should also be there too, but at the very least queer sex Ed should be taught in schools.

[@josicruz88]

I am the oldest of eight children and one of the things i love and am grateful for is my parents, even when times where hard, have always made us feel SO wanted. Like we grew uo knowing that even thought there was s lot of us and we were a lot, we were never too much, and there wasnt any sacrifice that wasnt done willingly and happily, and that has made our sibling relationship the most literal greatest treasure in my life. I want to have kids and I would love every child to feel that way

[@neongreenfluid]

17:40 not just misogynistic but also transphobic, as a gay trans guy who never wants bottom surgery its really hard seeing so many cis gay guys talk like that like i prefer the same parts as they do but i wouldnt go around like "ew yucky how could you want that" cus thats not how i feel and cus thats just crazy to say

[@BarbieDreamDungeon]

Bottom surgery is too much pain to go through just to appease transphobes. I don't want it either

[@SilvrRazorFeather]

Absolutely this, I'm also a trans guy who's fine with my parts down there, it sucks hearing gay men wouldn't want to date me purely based on that. Even if some of them saying those things don't mean it maliciously, that just means they forget we exist

[@iclynnx]

On a similar note, I discovered that there are trans women (and femme non-binary people) who don't get bottom surgery, and I, as a lesbian, realized that I don't care about what's "down there", as long as the person is feminine. I'm not attracted to the... you know. It's the person themself. I get that you can have preferences, but people don't have to be mean about it. If I was a gay man I'd not care either. For some reason, my perception of gender is very broad.

[@roxassora2706]

Right? Imagine if women, mainly lesbians, talked about men's penises the same way these same gay men talk about the v.

[@rafaguelfand6615]

People shaming me for rehoming my little lady because I MOVING TO ANOTHER CONTINENT didn't help... yeah... like I don't feel like shit enough

[@Artemis-ki8eq]

Unrelated to anything you were talking about but your cat playing in the curtain behind you was so cute! Your cat is adorable

[@Nameless-vh9kj]

Some people can be so cold with giving up pets. My brother adopted a cat from his co-worker who was going to put her down just because she didn't fit in the family. Shes the sweetest cat and wants constant cuddles so she's perfect for my brother. I can't imagine anyone not loving her

[@tabithadefee5390]

My husband loves the romance genre but is often ashamed to bring it up because of the stigma. I hate that things mostly enjoyed by women are trashed on so hard by society at large.

[@rezlems2827]

I'm impressed by how accurate the voiceover actor matched your accent. true professional.

[@ratgoddess9196]

I agree about rehoming pets. I got some of my pets because the previous people couldn't keep them, like someone in the household having an allergy. They also made sure the pets went to people who knew a lot about the animal. At one point, my mom and i had to seriously consider rehoming one of ours because he didn't get along with the others, and we didn't have the time for him to be alone and still get enough interaction. So we had to think about what would be best for him and give him the best life, which at the time looked like it wouldn't be with us.

[@Keebles8]

My husband and I had to rehome our dog after we recognized that we weren’t equipped to manage his aggression and keep our other pets safe. It was heartbreaking, because we had promised him that we would be his forever home. Fortunately, we contacted an amazing organization that has placed him with a foster, got him intensive professional training, and are looking for a home for him where he will be the only pet. I truly wish that we had been able to help him, but I truly believe that we made the selfless choice by placing him with the foster organization.

[@ThatRedhedd]

Was he an adult when you got him? Did they inform you of his aggression towards other dogs?

[@owentyler4404]

For my life, personally, I feel like the lost ethical way to have children is to adopt. I'm a little synical about bringing a child into the world as it is now, but there are already so many children who already exist that need love

[@ThatRedhedd]

💯 Couldn't agree more!

[@soapssuds_]

can’t believe i’ve been subscribed for over a year, i remember the start of last sinmas! i love being a sinner and it makes me so happy to see a fellow lesbian!

[@NestorCustodio]

Rehoming pets is an unfortunate fact of life, and I pray everyone out there is doing their due diligence in ensuring the transition goes as smoothly as possible and that the new home is going to be the right fit for their pet. I had to find a new family for my poor Rocket a few years ago, and I'm still heartbroken about it to this day. He was a rescue and we'd been inseparable for almost a full decade, but my work/life balance had reached a point where he was home alone in a tiny apartment for a ridiculous amount of time everyday and it was just not fair to him. So I gave him up to a good family with a nice yard for him to run around in and young kids for him to play with and protect. Cut to literally one month later and I'm home *all day every day* for 16 months straight because of Covid. I would've had all the time in the world for my poor boy, but it was too late. 😭

[@Iloveminkatt]

I think that it’s a huuuge difference between wanting kids and wanting to be a parent. I always wanted to become a mother, my goal is to become the best mom possible and make sure my kids can have the best life possible. I keep telling anyone who doesn’t want kids not to get them. If a child is not wanted you should 100% not become a parent!

[@haleemam7147]

I love sinmas so much. I get to come back from work everyday and wind down with a new annamarie video

[@narfii7302]

My two cats were rehomed from a family whose kids took priority over them. I’ve always felt mixed about it because the parents took initiative to find the cats a better home, but also were the ones borderline neglecting them. One of them they had for 6 years and the decision to rehome her was so sudden, it breaks my heart. HOWEVER both cats are my whole life so at the end of the day, I’m so grateful I was able to take them in! Will be 2 years in January ❤

[@zou1507]

"I am too selfish to have a child" Good. I would call that being self-aware and responsible. For me, more selfish (and irresponsible) is bringing a child to this f-uped world just because "I want to," and by that, I don't mean all parents, just some, who aren't financially responsible, have no resolved mental issues, and don't think about the future and whether this child will have a good life. Again, I'm not talking about all parents, about parents with surprise babies, but those who deliberately try for a baby because "it's so cute and woman's role is to be a mother" and have the issues I mentioned before.

[@trinastechnobabble]

First of all I just found your channel today and have been enjoying the content thus far. Keep up the wonderful work :) I knew I didn't want to have kids when I was in my teens. I am 47 now and have never regretted being childfree for one minute.

[@ThatRedhedd]

I love the smell of no kids in the morning!

[@HazZzel-]

11:10 dude THANK YOU. I am not part of booktok but as a hypersexual woman who uses fanfiction to cope, I honestly take a lot of the critism about booktok (not the parts with Hoover tho 💀) personally. Like sorry I have a sex drive? But unlike some types of people, I'm not out here harassing people irl. I'm peacefully reading my content. Leave me alone

[@Heyden_Weid]

I had to rehome my lizard and snake. I was moving, and I didn’t want to move. I was living at home and my evil sister was threatening my wellbeing as well as my pets. I’m sure they’re far better off now.

[@soph-t2y]

my mom married my dad when she was 19 and my dad was 32 💀💀 it rly makes sense that they never rly have good convos and my mom cries every night bc she has to do everything-

[@ChirotheKitBat]

[religion tw] uh so random tangent about that kids are overrated part: so i used to go to a catholic school and once they said that uh if youre a woman you cant have a fufflilled life w/out kids cuz since you cant be a preist thats the only thing you can do to be fully godly and uh whatever ;__; (I OBVIOUSLY DISAGREE, not saying all christians beleive this ofc.)

[@Evan-k]

Well religion is an untaxed cult soo.....

[@SilvrRazorFeather]

In a perfect world, everyone would extensively research an animal they want to bring home before obtaining the animal. BUT. I will absolutely never judge someone who got an animal, realized they couldn't give it proper care or attention, and makes a sincere effort to re-home it to someone who can take care of it. You've gotta learn what you don't know at some point, and rehoming is much better than most of the other options people resort to.

[@torimbfs]

The main issue with dark romance on booktok is that most are badly written and the descriptions of female anatomy are hilarious. Things like, "her boobs bounced in joy," or things like that.

[@awkwardotter13]

Um do your boobs not bounce when you're happy? You might want to get that checked out 😂 (I'm being silly and sarcastic)

[@Chelseabee55]

If you don’t like the way they’re written you can choose not to read them but you don’t need to shit on them. Let people live. Also, no. The books aren’t written like that because that’s some shit a man would write.

[@emracck]

I have to disagree with the comment above.. if something is obviously bad quality you are allowed to criticize it or critique it anyway you want to, however there is a line where you go to far in doing it. People have a right to not like something and openly talk about it *in a respectful way* but saying flat out people shouldn’t is absurd in my opinion. Also men and women both write things that you could say only a man would write but it’s just not true.

[@Chelseabee55]

@@emracck you can, but a lot of what I see online is just straight up bullying, saying stuff about people who like whichever author, or cartoon covers on books, or dark romance, or this or that. There’s also a point where you’re beating a dead horse. I still see videos multiple times a day making fun of Colleen Hoover and her readers. Dude I DON’T CARE how much people dislike her I’m sick of hearing about it.

[@Chelseabee55]

@@emracck just having more thoughts after I posted… CH is the author that everyone loved to shit on. Fine, whatever. But she hasn’t published a book like like 2 years. Ugly Love is the one people like to make fun of the most which came out TEN years ago. Eventually y’all just need to let it go. To me, it’s like people constantly saying reality TV is poorly made content. It’s like… we know. I’m just trying to relax after a shitty day. If that’s not for you that’s totally cool

[@hails1136]

i've only ever rehomed a pet once. technically it was a pair of puppies. my old dog of 9 years had just recently died and my whole family was pretty distraught. my parents (mostly my dad, who is a huge sucker) jumped to getting a new dog immediately. we all got suckered into adopting this pair of very sweet puppies from a shelter despite us not wanting puppies before. needless to say it didn't go well. we very quickly realized we were not equipped to re-potty train two rambunctious dogs, so we returned them to the shelter the next day. the shelter was not a kill shelter, and the two puppies were young and very cute, so i'm pretty sure they would have been adopted by someone else who wanted a puppy. i still feel guilty for contributing to the decision to adopt those puppies when we knew we didn't want young dogs.

[@andresmuniz9634]

These sinmas videos are the only thing getting me through this last week of school before break

[@Peeps_reads]

My family had to rehome a dog once because she was too strong and energetic for us. We had a dog before but she had a tendency to- not violence- but to rough for us. We had to rehome her and she’s perfectly happy now and I miss her every day but we just couldn’t be the family for her. We gave her a nice home for about a year but her forever home was with a different family💕

[@ajakakakak]

I think it’s the motive that’s selfish, not having kids in itself. Like if you want to have kids because you want to bring a person into this world, raise them, love them, and see them thrive, then I don’t think that’s selfish. If you just want a “legacy” or a “mini-me”, yeah that’s a little selfish

[@ZiggyZero_]

Selfish doesn't have to be negative just wanting to have a child you take care of and love is selfish but not negative

[@emily_unplugged]

This is my first Sinmas, and I’m so glad I found you this year! You give very insightful and calming videos.

Not ONCE did I think I would ever get to deep quote Hamilton alongside someone like that! 😢 THANKS ANNAMARIE! 😭🙏🏼

[@TheScaredLittleScholar]

100% agree with the pet thing. my cousins got a caught after years of wanting one, however, that was the same year my aunt died. Things got a lot more hectic in their house after that- it was just my two cousins and their dad, and while they were initially recieving a lot of support from their extended family, covid took that away. the cat was not housetrained, the dog did not get along with her, and she spent most of her time hiding (and peeing) in the basement. some people acted like it was morally reprehensible when they rehomed the cat, but honestly… I don’t think they should have kept her to “redeem” themselves. they realized they were neglecting her, so they gave her up, and I admire them for that.

[@procyonpaw]

On rehoming pets, I agree. No one should get a pet without thoroughly researching and saving up for supplies and ongoing costs (including vet bills). Circumstances do change though and when a person cannot adequately care for their animal, the difficult decision of rehoming may be the best for the animal's wellbeing. It should never be an easy decision, but I have a lot of sympathy for people who have to make it. Shame and a surrender bill (I'm not kidding, I have seen shelters charging for people to surrender animals, ignoring the fact that finances is one of the top reasons for animal rehoming) does not help anyone, and can put the animal in a worse place as they either continue living in a poor environment or are abandoned.

[@humblebumblehomestead]

As a young adult who never wanted kids I can tell you everyone who says “you don’t know true love till you meet your own kid” ARE ABSOLUTELY RIGHT AND YOU WILL NOT HAVE A COMPLETED LIFE WITHOUT THEM IF YOUR CAPABLE OF HAVING THEM!!!! Trust me I hate that they’re right but I’m so ridiculously happy and proud when standing beside my child- their monsters and over opinionated but their correct in their assessment of life.

[@ZiggyZero_]

Just cause you like your kids doesn't make the statement correct it just means you like your kids