Is It Love If I Don’t Feel It?

Ask Pastor John
Episode: 953
Transcript: www.desiringgod.org/interview...

[@eduardopeguero5376]

Four crucial things 1. Admit honestly to God, you don’t feel like doing good thing 2. Confess this to God as sin 3. Ask God to restore joy in your salvation/ in grace 4. Act, do the good deed. Hoping that in the deed, joy will be awakened.

[@eatntell1421]

Can i just say how calming the background animation is?

[@duskarchpk]

To me this is a reminder to dredge up every little part of yourself that wants to hide in the background and acknowledge it before God in prayer. I think it's the only way to move forward sometimes.

[@sheispham]

This is precisely why we need a savior. Because the demands for love is so impossibly high. That we have to delight in our duty to love. We are so "pathologically selfish" (Jon bloom). And yet that is the perfect love with which God loves us. How amazing.

[@MangHauzel]

❤️

[@1920s]

Tiffany Pham Amen.

[@greenisthecolour_]

I do not have joy, I am perishing, My faith falters and no i am no moral man that knows the way of the righteous, I accepted Christ way too soon before I even know what Christ done. I weep because somewhere, I may have failed. I have sinned more than what mere sinful men sin. I hate it, I hate the lost years and look now, here I am in agony. I long so much the warmth of Jesus, as much so as baby. I cry seeing others in Joy, thinking, Is Jesus still mine? Self pity, oh whatever dangers Pastor Piper preached, been through them all. My life in immorality. Fall from grace didn't seem like it fitted me, I haven't tasted any of the bread and I am so hungry. What is heaven to me? Heaven without Christ is a heaven I do not wish go. I always say that to myself. All of the many, how they rejoice in the Lord, I with my head low, when? I question my faith. I would hate it to be pretence but then, If I had such faith, I wouldn't be here. Im lost. I have no love for anything in this world anymore, perhaps I have lost Jesus. Help me pastor, let the truth set me free. If I be of God, why is there no gladness. If I be of this world, why do I hate it? Am I like Cain, cursed as a vagabond? Am I dead? Is my spiritual desires, the desire you please, the desire to cling, the desire to love Jesus all nothing? Have I been believing in vain? Is the hope I have in Jesus now, pointless as a broken pencil? Trust me, I would run to Jesus like probably anyone would, but I wouldn't look until Jesus looked first. Like the substitute kid in the bench, I see all of Christ's children play football in the field, happy, merry. I just be waiting to get picked. I am weary of my fight, my faith, these questions I know where there'll be no answer. I want to give up, but Jesus is all I've groan, sinned, blasphemed, hurt, love, longing for since my youth. I am now 30.

[@Kvoz13]

All I want is God's love... I don't even know how it really feels to be loved by God. I thought I was saved until I read the scripture about loving Christ with all your heart, mind and strength. I'm in complete distress and anguish for God's love now. I'm doing everything out of compulsion instead of real joy and love for Christ.

[@wheelman0848]

Hey! I’ve experienced this also! Don’t quit, pray and never give up. Keep seeking Him and His love and He will draw near to you!

[@bradleykirkland247]

@Gabriel Burns the song You Love Me Anyway by Sidewalk Prophets has been very impactful to me in comprehending God's love for me. I just recently began being able to actually feel the impact of God's love toward me. I am His child and He is my loving Father who gives me good gifts. I've been bogged down by shame for much of my life never feeling like I could amount to enough for God to love me. I neglected prayer bc I felt like He was going to do what He wanted so I didn't understand what it meant to pray "Your WIll be done" if He was already gonna be done. What I've learned is He desires us to pray to Him as if I was talking to Him as my Father. He wants a relationship with me. I'm a college student and was looking for a part-time job. I was praying for a specific job and applied to like 8 different ones and was willing to do all 8, and the one that He opened up for me to do was the one I wanted the most. I don't deserve that, but I found He used that to help show me that He loves me. I think it was important I was willing to do any of the jobs I applied for though. I can't just pray for blessing and do nothing. 1 John 3 was very helpful for me in comprehending God's love for me. I encourage you to read that too, as well as going back to the basics and meditating on John 3:16. That's also what i needed to better understand His love for me. I've grown up in the church and Jesus dying and rising again just became so common to hear. I needed to go back and ask God to help me feel it. I'm still working on it, but He is a good God and He is healing me.

[@Kvoz13]

@@bradleykirkland247 Thank you for sharing your experience and words of encouragement. God bless 🙏

[@sparrow5407]

So beautiful. Praise to God.

[@amanda8399]

Great Biblical teaching as usual!! ❤️

[@brandonburrell8517]

This is awesome. I needed it. God bless you in the name of Jesus Christ our Lord.

[@escajedac2740]

Over flow of joy in God's grace restore my joy awaken my gladness sustain me When I don't fill good because I'm not on the right track due to things unknown or may be total denial I walk away then I see the problem and I return back hoping to be excepted it takes practice I ask God to restore my joy and glad mess I Act on it I do the good deed may my joy and gladness return in Jesus name Amen

[@KelleyMoles]

Thank you John Piper!! This really spoke to me

[@rudylimas]

The biblical duty to love always includes gladness and Joy in God that overflows sincere acts of behavioral love to people and NOT in obligation.

[@johnbreitmeier3268]

No, ask any parent. The loving duty of parenting often brings great sadness. Love is doing it anyway. Even the worst sinner will do the right thing occasionally if he feels like it. Adults often do what they must rather than what they would like to do.

[@ArthurPrince03]

Wdym “No, ask my parent”. If it’s not biblical, it’s not. If it’s biblical it’s biblical. Not smth you interpret for yourself.

[@DeborahM116]

This was great. Thanks.

[@Brezabeth]

I've been thinking a lot about how to help my boyfriend who is depressed and suppresses nearly all positive emotions. This is exactly what I needed to see in my feed today.

[@2ndPigeon]

Did you show it to him?

[@ms.playboyinternational393]

I hope you showed it to him! He needs comfort and your help to bring it!

[@1dago]

This is me 100%. I chose to give my life to God the way a young, unwed school girl might choose to adopt out her unborn child upon learning she is pregnant: _Because it was the best thing that could be done in an awful situation._ I didn’t ask to be born, didn’t ask to have the debt of sin upon me simply by being alive; I loved the sinful life I had before I became a Christian and miss it everyday. But here I was in this situation: “heaven or hell” and so I asked God into my heart and life for the security of my soul. And for no other reason whatsoever. I do not love God. Folks like to say “Love is not a feeling” but that is actually only half right. It is more so correct to say that love is not *JUST* a feeling-as in, there is more to it, but that you should, in fact, FEEL IT at _some point_ in your relationship. Otherwise, its all duty. Pomp and circumstance. So that’s where I’ve live for years-a dutiful servant of the Lord, not a lover of Christ Jesus. A “Lots wife” type, secretly yearning for my past life, a little salt to this bland way of living. I’m not happier as a saved person-in truth, I ache for the things I was “saved” from and for this reason I do not even bother to tell others that I’m a Christian because I feel I’m a poor example and representation of the “joyful” believer. I do my heavy lifting in prayer for those I know and love to come to Christ and hope they might have a genuine joy and love for Him that so many just... _don’t._ 😒

[@Brad-zb7rr]

It seems like this applies to me as well. Except in my case the majority of my adult life has been plainly living in sin, not even trying really. I would testify about Christ to non-believers but that was about it. In my mind i felt like, if i did that at least i wasnt completely renouncing him. I never thought that would keep me out of hell, its just... Well you know what this video was about. How do you fix your feelings? I can repent and try to do right but i knew there were areas within the bible that spoke about joy and feelings and i wonder now if God would just call me a liar if i tried. So then..... what am i supposed to do? We tell people heaven is a black and white, life or death choice but this makes it far more complicated and difficult than that. We actually have to pray and ask God to make us enjoy something otherwise it isnt good enough.

[@joshuapizarro]

Don’t envy sinners, but always continue to fear the Lord . You will be rewarded for this; your hope will not be disappointed. Proverbs 23:17‭-‬18 NLT To fear/reverence the Lord is to hate evil, and love good (Proverbs 8:13). My friend, Jesus died for you because He loves you, and He wants us to love Him back. Yes, this is His desire for you and me. I am praying for you. May God bless you and reveal Himself to you. May you experience the joy of His salvation! Jesus speaking, "The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full." (John 10:10 NIV)

[@animaticToshiue]

@@Brad-zb7rr we can ask for it, we need to ask for it

[@1dago]

@Fountainblaze check and check! Ive had this conversation with Him almost daily for almost as long as I’ve been saved..repented and prayed. Lather. Rinse. Repeat. Some people are satisfied and joyful in Him. Some are just _not._ It’s something I’ve just come to terms with. Thanks just the same.

[@chuan2630]

I used to feel the same.. reading Piper’s books Meditations of a Christian Hedonist and also Brothers, we are not professionals have brought me much joy in my walk

[@damianwhite9058]

Your hair looks magnificent Mister Pastor John, SIR

[@jimbearone]

Love is an ACTION followed by a feeling. It my be a Long Way Behind.

[@kathymagana8656]

I pay attention to the dumbest and most insignificant things in life…that’s what all of my friends and family think. As it stands right now (5/22/23 4:31pm) there are 100 comments on THIS particular video. For some reason, the roundedness of the number 100 and it’s perfectness makes my brain smile… But at the same time, in my child-like (or perhaps child-ish…?) neuroticism, I feel an overwhelming urge to comment to change that 100 to 101. The problem is, “love holiness and love righteousness and love goodness just as God loves these things…God is a God of order and restoring purpose and usefulness into things.” that that statement prevents me from making the 100 comments 101 comments. But as I had this whole thought, I felt the Holy Spirit nudge me to just expel, in a very sincere and honest way, the weird and anxiety-inducing emotions I just experienced through this little “dilemma” in hopes that someone else in the world will one day arrive at this video just like I did, in a state of distress over their inability to MOVE, to take action, to GO…and after they are refreshed with John Pipers spirit inspired insightful words, maybe they’ll stumble upon this comment and not feel so alone and a-typical in this world of overwhelming confusion and chaos.

[@HowToGetSaved-]

You're cute. Now, only 3 days later, there are 103-plus comments. 😅I look at numbers too, and whenever there are 3 -6s, I have to hurry and change it to 667. You are not alone either. Moving and doing is hard. Feeling the right feelings is harder for me, though. And you are so right about the overwhelming confusion.

[@tracir3072]

This was such a good response. YHWH does love a cheerful giver and He also says that we are to serve Him with joy and gladness and we are not to commit the same sins as Israel did in the wilderness by complaining. I've heard others says it's ok not to feel it but that we should "just do it" but I know that I am called to repent when I am not serving YHWH with joy and gladness and when I don't seem to be able to serve Him (and others) without complaints...that's not okay, and it requires my repentance. Great commentary. Thank you for seeking the word on this matter and answering it biblically!! I needed this today because I am wrestling with this myself! shalom shalom

[@Xandy2dandY]

Pastor John Piper laying it down. That's how I'd ask the question it again. Deny thyself, deny thyself, deny thyself!!!

[@anurajarajan3264]

Thank you for teaching me, helps me understand better, I like the way you simplify and breakdown the passages....

[@dims1607]

Profound!!! 🙌🏻

[@alieslami2321]

Right set of emotion

[@Hepta.Asteras]

Excellent example of how to practice the Christian life and live Christ.

[@yaw8912]

This man is good!!

[@user-fl9xn3os8x]

God deserves our desires!

[@iggy1644]

1 Corinthians 13:3 clearly shows that loving and doing are two distinct separate things, and that the doing without the loving is worth nothing. "And if I give all my possessions to feed the poor, and if I surrender my body [a]to be burned, but do not have love, it profits me nothing."

[@johnbreitmeier3268]

Yes but Love is not a feeling. It is an action of duty. Abraham loved God enough to put Isaac on the alter, but he wasn't "feeling" it or happy about it and God was not displeased. Jesus obediently went to the cross out of Love, but he wasn't "feeling" it and begged God to l"let this cup pass." God saw it as Love. We don't know Love whet it bites us in the backside.

[@Womenswell022]

God loves a cheerful giver...

[@girlnotoftheworld2008]

this was profound!

[@johnbreitmeier3268]

That was childish and missed eh point. Jesus did not "feel" like going to the cross but going anyway was love.

[@justpeachy4393]

I can definitely tell when someone is just loving me because they're supposed to. I've been feeling a lot of that from and toward my family lately (i.e I am also guilty of it)

[@alieslami2321]

I enjoy

[@taerayEZBCK]

Pastor John Piper the Lord bless you.

[@benitojohngenitojr.5608]

Love Dwells in the Heart, and not in the Mind.the Serpent Like Selfish Proud Merciless Hypocrites are Heartless Because Their Minds and Hearts were Merciless Hell to the World.

[@DragonTank1400]

There is a lot to think about here. Actions and feelings can both be sinful. Both can also give glory to God. To change our feelings it takes God changing us. This is the reason brute force will power is not the solution, but rather allowing Jesus to change our heart.

[@alieslami2321]

I nknow pastor love u do lovvvvve

[@carol-annroelofse4902]

Love is not a feeling. As feelings change. Love should not change. The love God has for us is agape love which is unconstitutional. Its also and action. For God so love the world He GAVE (action) is only begotten Son. Jesus asked Peter 3 times do you love me. Peter said yes. The Jesus said feed (action) my sheep

[@In_time]

Carol - Ann Roelofse unconstitutional?? Unconditional?

[@sofiabravo1994]

I agree feelings are FLEETING I disagree with him on this. It’s an act and the feelings follow.

[@user-my5kb4ze2m]

Admit, confess sorry, restore, overflow

[@eduardopeguero5376]

Thank you. Came back to this video for this. ❤️

[@hoc1992]

10/10

[@thiagofranciscodasilvapaul5471]

Will episode 1000 be special?

[@thiagofranciscodasilvapaul5471]

Daniel Haskins Ok, man. I already perceived this.

[@alieslami2321]

NOIKTTTTÈ

[@JewelMIller56]

👍🏻❤️

[@alieslami2321]

PASTA JHON LOVE YOU

[@nettebroni3868]

Love is a decision not feeling

[@user-or9cj3vk6t]

Sounds good but have you got a bible reference/s

[@nettebroni3868]

@@user-or9cj3vk6t 1 cor 13

[@TheCondescendingRedditor]

How do you make it more then duty? You can't force yourself to "feel"

[@johnbreitmeier3268]

You cannot and you are not supposed to. Abraham did not "feel" good about offering up Isaac. Jesus did not "feel" good about going to the cross but he did out of love and obedience. Love is often doing the duty you would dearly rather not do. It is feminist nonsense that a deed doesn't count, is not Love, if you ain't feeling it. Pastor John knows nothing about true love or sacrifice.

[@avygal519]

My husband says he doesn't feel love for me but is willing to do the duty and actions in hope the feeling follows and so he can honor God. Is it selfish for me to be sad about him not feeling love for me even if he is now doing loving actions?

[@carol-annroelofse4902]

Love is not a feeling. Feelings change like emotion. Love is an action. For God so loved the world that He gave .... God gave. Its an action.

[@juliachan8421]

i personally would be sad too if i heard that from my husband, but you have the right to feel what you feel. we are human and we have emotions, and it is healthy to acknowledge how we are feeling and then move on. i do not feel loved by mom, but she is always willing to do the duty to show her love for me. we do not always feel God loves us, but He loves us always because He died to save humanity. carol is right--love is action and not feelings.

[@johnbreitmeier3268]

Yes, it is extremely selfish and wrong to feel this way. Love is not what you seem to think it is. Silly woman, would you rather he treat you like crap when he wasn't "feelin" good about you or would you rather he love you enough to do the right thing against the feelings your behavior towards him inspires. Rejoice that he is "faking it until he makes it". Do your part and shower him with so much gratitude, submission, and acts of kindness that he cannot help but reciprocate. I Peter 3

[@keilavegapino6707]

I don't really agree with the comments. I would like me to excuse myself about my English, Because it isn't my first language. Like in Corinthians said, "if I give over my body to hardship that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing" and God have call the husband to love his wife as Christ love his church. All the good acts a husband do to his wife should be the fruit of love. And of course he will not always feel it, like the video said. But he must ask to God to gave him the love for you, and get a good Christian relationship counseling or therapy, idk how to said in English. This situation it is grave, both should take it seriously. I will be praying for you two. I hope you are doing good and I hope I could help.

[@jimbearone]

If you force feeling, is it real?

[@alieslami2321]

EYYEA MUSK

[@johnbreitmeier3268]

Piper's answer is just wrong. 1) Fake it til you make it. Even if doing the right thing is only half the duty it is far better than doing none of the duty. You may learn to like it. 2) God's is more concerned about what you do than how you "feel". Mat 21:28-31 The first son did not "feel" like obeying 3) There is way more "love" and merit in doing what you don't "feel" like doing. 4) Jesus did not "feel" like being crucified, but he did it anyway. Was that not ultimate love?

[@alieslami2321]

My second ok they don't let me

[@alieslami2321]

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[@alieslami2321]

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[@alieslami2321]

OK

[@elijahvargas6338]

10:15

[@alieslami2321]

Yeàh

[@alieslami2321]

Restore ok ok pastooo joooon

[@foolishdrunk2181]

It's fake if THEY don't feel it

[@johnbreitmeier3268]

Was Jesus's love for us FAKE when he didn't feel like going to the cross, in fact begged to be let off, but went anyway. Please think before you type and follow silly pastors who don't know love.

[@alieslami2321]

IN MÀGÈ OF GOĎ I ÀM

[@2ndPigeon]

I'm inclined to say no, as love is all about emotions.

[@jaelevamorin826]

Love is about God because God IS love. Love is about God, commitment to God and then to your partner. It’s about choosing to love them even when you don’t feel like it.

[@2ndPigeon]

​@@jaelevamorin826 Is God really analogous to love? Can I make God with my girlfriend? Do my parents God me very much? That's pretty weird.

[@caseychupinski7553]

@@2ndPigeon It sounds like you're smarter than that, but you're choosing to say that anyway. Why are you bitter?

[@2ndPigeon]

@@caseychupinski7553 I genuinely want to know what she meant by saying God is love because it doesnt fit my definition at all.

[@johnbreitmeier3268]

And you would be wrong like John Piper. There is more than one kind of Love in the Bible. Now Eros love is erotic or sexual love and that IS all about emotions and you can eros someone you don't even care about. The Love the Bible talks most about is agape - a concern for the welfare of someone that can go well beyond their actual value. Agape has nothing to do with feelings and Hallmark cards. It is what makes a father get up in the dark to go to a job he hates so that his kids can have food, even if they were brats the night before.

[@alieslami2321]

MAŹE

[@alieslami2321]

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[@alieslami2321]

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[@alieslami2321]

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[@alieslami2321]

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[@alieslami2321]

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[@alieslami2321]

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[@alieslami2321]

Nßhutrè