By 40, we need to learn to just walk away from situations that aren’t in our favor. No whining nor trying to convince. Period.
@wellknown12042 жыл бұрын
Yeah, too grown for this bullshits
@JustBree7162 жыл бұрын
Preaaaaaaach. Lol. Too old for the b.s. but then she had the nerve to present like the other woman was some 20 something year old 🤓
@terriesmith26162 жыл бұрын
👏👏👍This comment right here!! 💯💯💯💯 40 is just too damn old to know better. Stop trying to convince someone to want to be with you.
@ziggy80362 жыл бұрын
Learning this at 27
@MrTmenzo2 жыл бұрын
This woman sounds like the controlling type lol
@texasgina2 жыл бұрын
If you’re not married, never stay in a relationship where the other person doesn’t make an effort to make you important in their life
@shachede68282 жыл бұрын
EVEN IF YOU'RE MARRIED! why will this change in marriage?
@edithtierce82092 жыл бұрын
@@shachede6828 Why would you get married at all if marriage doesn’t make it any more important to try to work things out…. DOH
@texasgina2 жыл бұрын
@@edithtierce8209 Exactly and I meant if you’re dating someone and they don’t treat you right get out end it don’t ever even marry a person like that it never gets better it’s just misery
@ApriliaRacer14 Жыл бұрын
Not just important…a priority.
@bunniewood10 ай бұрын
lol but if youre married then stay?
@coolaunt5162 жыл бұрын
Don't give 100% of your time to someone who gives you 50% of his.
@trumpisgod25352 жыл бұрын
You shouldn’t give 100% of time to anybody you should have a life of your own otherwise that’s not healthy
@GolfDuff2 жыл бұрын
Words of wisdom for sure
@batirtzeurkiaga17162 жыл бұрын
Touché.
@BenJamin-jc4jm6 ай бұрын
Women are nuts. No one wants to spend 100 per cent of their time with you. Get over it,
@EthanLomas6 ай бұрын
100%
@cherissef52972 жыл бұрын
From a 60 year old woman. Six decades of experience. Move on. I have been happily married since 1985. You deserve to be NUMBER 1. I am.
@GameChanger597 Жыл бұрын
Exactly. If he doesn't want to leave his sister or cousin behind so he can be with just you, he's either gay, or you're just not as interesting, fun, or irresistible as his family member is to him
@nyc42336 ай бұрын
It sounds very selfish and self-centred! She's only been with him for a few months ! What has she done for him compare to his family??
@User12345fan5 ай бұрын
Number 1 until children come along then you move to number 2
@ezequielmondada64275 ай бұрын
@@nyc4233apparently not much of a difference if there is any kind of incest in it. XD
@nyc42335 ай бұрын
@@ezequielmondada6427 Where on earth did get the incest part from??? You can't dictate to someone what kind of relationship they can have w their relatives especially if you have been dating for only a few months!
@timnichols77608 ай бұрын
A 40 year old man doesn't have to run his dating plans by ANYONE!!
@xxx0ox06 ай бұрын
Yeah he just didn't want her. He probably would take the next better offer. Men and woman do this all the time. Just lead people on because they don't want to be lonely
@EmpressMermaid5 ай бұрын
Only possible exception might be in relation to child care. But that's not really "approval" more a scheduling issue.
@DJ-cm8xj4 ай бұрын
seems unfair to drag this 3rd person everywhere though.. if hes not ready to have a real relationship with one on one dates he just needs to leave... hes just dragging her around being the third wheel. it seems its rare/ non-existent that they have one on one time which is necessary for a romantic relationship
@cjlive51824 ай бұрын
He wants the caller for hook ups and finds the relative more fun to be with.
@AmethystSnow Жыл бұрын
The fact yall are only 2 months in and you're already feeling uncomfortable says everything you need to know, Andrea
@glowindark6410 күн бұрын
You betta tell dat ish up on the mountain and all around Go head wit ya bad self okaaaaay dayum
@AllThingsSoul2 жыл бұрын
I think he gave her a clear message and a clear boundary; don't get between this. Follow your gut, girl. Yes, it's weird and yes, you deserve better. Tell him you're looking for someone who can match your willingness to put a romantic relationship first so you're going to keep looking and wish him the best. Change his name in your phone to "trouble calling" so if he calls, you are reminded not to answer.
@ellencox84152 жыл бұрын
@@ToddRogers00 from the fact she is trying to give her all to one person which is not "normal" for today's dating culture.
@lavinialaabishgrimberg36032 жыл бұрын
@@ToddRogers00 why wouldn.t she deserve better, everybody deserves love and a healthy relationship.
@claytonp69072 жыл бұрын
Getting “live, laugh, love” vibes from this comment.
@terriesmith26162 жыл бұрын
*"In life, we don't get what we deserve, we get what we are willing to tolerate"* -Tony Robbins He gave her a clear message and clear boundaries but if she's willing to tolerate getting less, then less is what she'll get.
@LisaSoulLevelHealing2 жыл бұрын
Name changes in the phone work for sure lol
@catharsismemory2 жыл бұрын
Nah at 40 that's too much. He's either too attached/dependant, some weird incest crap is going down, or he's lying and that's not really his "sister". At 40 I wouldn't be dealing with that mess.
@odibua9107 Жыл бұрын
Or he has a really close relationship with his sibling that is based on some shared life experience, and doesn't want to undercut that for a woman he just met a couple of months ago.
@catharsismemory Жыл бұрын
@@odibua9107 I get that but how is going to form a relationship with any woman if he's always choicing his sister?
@javaskull88 Жыл бұрын
You will never be Number 1 in his life. If you don’t want to be part of a peculiar threesome…move on,
@natiasamuels41708 ай бұрын
I think he is lying and that is not his relative. No man is clinging to a female relative over a girlfriend unless it is incest or he is gay. Men like to hang around other men unless they are hanging around a woman who is available.
@birsancristina92788 ай бұрын
@@odibua9107no one is that close to their sibling. That's no relative. That's an open relationship and this woman doesn't know about it.
@mogetit59992 жыл бұрын
Girl… if you have to ask….
@analozada94758 ай бұрын
💯
@SherryEllesson2 жыл бұрын
He is not your boyfriend. He's hers. Full stop.
@SherryEllesson2 жыл бұрын
...and they're not "roommates." Grow up and stop trying to make your interest in him something it's not.
@EthanLomas6 ай бұрын
I think he is regularly emptying his sack in her purse
@JuggArtist146 ай бұрын
damn, completely roasted the sheit outta her
@johannesswillery78554 ай бұрын
@@SherryEllesson His sister?
@dominiquegrenier16614 ай бұрын
It's his ex. She would have said otherwise.
@RoryEwanTan-gv3jx5 ай бұрын
Some people have trouble spotting a trainwreck 5 feet from their eyes.
@gypsonny25 ай бұрын
40yo women are desperate
@Gentilejedi5 ай бұрын
Exactly, with a sign ROAD IS OUT.
@Songbird36able4 ай бұрын
She sounds ridiculous. Move on lady. You're too old not to know better.
@Prophezora3 ай бұрын
Some people will vote for Kamala...its crazy.
@JS-tv8sf2 жыл бұрын
When men want to be with you they will let you know. If you have to ask, don't bother.
@isay2078 ай бұрын
Great advice
@Celwood2 жыл бұрын
One thing you should know by 40, is you can't make people want to be with you. If they would rather be doing something else, let them go! Neither one of you will ever be happy if you don't. Being jealous and trying to force relationships is a big waste of time and effort, just let it go and move on with your life! They don't want you...Find someone that actually wants you in their life.
@teetawn94542 жыл бұрын
true
@szatanowska8 ай бұрын
This kind of looser doesn't want anyone else than his sister, 😂 family more important than girlfriend or boyfriend 😂 REDICOULOS😂 im sure she is attractive woman and this guy have sick relationship with his family which is not normal and no healthy at all!!!
@romans52345-cy3tq7 ай бұрын
When you're an Incel that's extremely difficult
@bbills41865 ай бұрын
Nina Simone said "You need to learn to leave the table when love is no longer being served". Don't let anybody tell you they don't want you twice!
@LaurenKH5 ай бұрын
👏🏽💯
@Mmmmkaaay4 ай бұрын
Bam!
@vio1442 ай бұрын
What a great lyric!
@mary-kate61702 жыл бұрын
It's not worth staying in. My ex fiance had an overbearing, overly attached relationship with his brother. He would bring him on dates with us, spent many weekends with him, called him on the phone but he would never call me on the phone. He'd ghost me for weeks and spend most of his free time with his brother. I finally called it quits. It was beyond frustrating. Don't waste your time
@a.d.b535 Жыл бұрын
Sounds like how my BF WAS with his friends. I felt like the 3rd wheel. Luckily, he finally got the message and being a lot more attentive.
@patriciaalbertson51834 ай бұрын
Maybe it wasn't really his brother
@grantguy89332 жыл бұрын
let them be together and happy:) run..
@JustActNormal2 жыл бұрын
Lol!
@Kinksgalore2 жыл бұрын
She's lonely and not giving up this guy.
@weekendnomad50382 жыл бұрын
HES LYING!! THATS HIS WOMAN!! THEY HAVE AN OPEN RELATIONSHIP!! My brother and I are VERY close . I raised him but this has RED FLAGS ALL OVER IT
@treeyellow46277 ай бұрын
What, I'm confused! His sister?
@dilaranur-iu8vn7 ай бұрын
@@treeyellow4627they are probably in a incest relationship
@Dan1ell7 ай бұрын
@treeyellow4627 I think weekendnomad is saying that he's lying about the woman being just 'a family member', instead being his actual girlfriend or wife who he has an open relationship with.
@Hatbox9486 ай бұрын
I agree.
@User12345fan5 ай бұрын
@@Dan1ellthat makes no sense
@sophiawish97722 жыл бұрын
This is not situational. This is odd and unhealthy. Run!
@paulatripodi39892 жыл бұрын
The fact that she wouldn't tell John what the family member is that he has this close relationship with makes me think she already knows something is weird there, or too weird for her. She already knows what she should do. I wondered....could a "family member" be his ex-wife? I don't know, but she should just give it a pass and not try to force anything.
@carole37082 жыл бұрын
yep
@jdtreharne2 жыл бұрын
The chiron says sister. Wonder if she spilled the beans to the screener?
@terriesmith26162 жыл бұрын
Some women are so desperate for a relationship that they'll over look the weirdness and ignore all the red flags.
@lyndaslocs2 жыл бұрын
Maybe she didn't want someone to be able to identify them.
@BoomerTelly2 жыл бұрын
@@terriesmith2616 I think part of it also is women don't always know what's "normal" to put up with. If you notice, that was her actual question, is being put second to family normal? Women have been given lopsided "deals" in relationships for hundreds of years. So the internal compass of what's normal to put up with is not there.
@nancygamez70872 жыл бұрын
The boyfriend was honest and said his boundaries. Respect them or leave
@LisaLisaCJ2 жыл бұрын
IF this is a family member, I will say enmeshed families are not kind to marriages and outsiders. And when you are told to basically mind your business and you see inappropriate interactions…. You need to go. It will never change. I wish ladies understood these things don’t change. I married into a very weird family dynamic. I was young and didn’t pick up on the “ closeness”. I was told in a round about way I was not and never will be family. I was treated like a mistress. Leave him be
@user_abcxyzz Жыл бұрын
Sounds like a cult
@Kate-b5j8 ай бұрын
Yes!! 💯 I get that.
@TEM144117 ай бұрын
Amen. Been there and done that. Spoke to my ex about it and ended up with a target on my back. And they readily took aim.
@Hatbox9486 ай бұрын
Right. It only gets worse. I know from first hand experience.
@joziewales19655 ай бұрын
I was involved with a woman who had a “fortress family”. Her kids never spoke to me once in 3 years. It takes awhile to figure out but the best thing is for this lady is to run.
@sabrinay94302 жыл бұрын
My sister married a man who is the only son. When they got married, she was viewed as the one who stole him away. It's been over 10 years and they still won't accept her. It's stupid. This caller is too old for this nonsense. Dump him and move on.
@jtpcwife1486 Жыл бұрын
Oh wow lol. That’s not good! Sounds like they lived their life through him in an unhealthy way.
@jerusalem4492 Жыл бұрын
This is my mother’s situation. She married my dad, the only boy AND the youngest child in his family. Sisters hate my mom and have always tried to get my dad to move back to his country (and away from us and mom). My dad now is entering retirement and seriously thinking about moving away (I think he will) - it sucks for my mom.
@patriciaalbertson51834 ай бұрын
My husband's family treated me like crap. They treated their own kids like crap Too. It was a nightmare... Bye bye
@patriciaalbertson51834 ай бұрын
Maybe she will be happier! I married the only son, youngest boy... 3 older sisters. Only difference, this country.... No emotional support and a whole lot of trouble. Your Mom might thrive! Send him packing
@rebecaa74828 ай бұрын
It’s funny how she doesn’t want to say what kind of relative her boyfriend is living with, but it says directly on the screen that it’s his sister. 😂
@norelease26 ай бұрын
Lmao, I didn't understand why she was being coy in the first place?
@jesseb.semple60185 ай бұрын
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
@Person-mh6xq5 ай бұрын
@@norelease2exactly!
@dubyabalthazar45985 ай бұрын
😂😂😂😂 i hadnt noticed
@karahupp45894 ай бұрын
I wonder if it’s his step sister?
@Zumcho2 жыл бұрын
My spouse has 3 sisters who are very important to him. I work to be close to them, because that's what he wants. That being said, he's never had to check in with them and they've never joined us on a date or romantic vacation. THIS particular relationship is clearly intense, far past a strong sibling bond. Maybe it's not exactly inappropriate, but it doesn't allow for a partner to be the priority either.
@zeal4god4022 жыл бұрын
Tooooo intense
@mikecole16642 жыл бұрын
Inappropriate
@LisaLisaCJ2 жыл бұрын
Why do YOU have to do the work to stay close? It should be an effort on both ends. Anyway I have my own stories about sisters in law and why some act as if they are the wife but I don’t want to derail.
@Zumcho2 жыл бұрын
@@LisaLisaCJ I think I do the work with my husbands sisters, because my own brother married a real hell on wheels and i know what it's like. But I agree with you, both parties have to do the work.
@phelps1485 Жыл бұрын
Inappropriate and awkward.
@laurag51682 жыл бұрын
Kudos to boyfriend for being clear and not seeming aloof. However if the relationship makes her uncomfortable it’s not going to get better.
@DBest-pk2tr Жыл бұрын
The guy also probably has financial problems that aren't going to go away quickly.
@LadyMarigoldWithers Жыл бұрын
I needed this comments section right now, thanks guys. Decision made, no more hoping for something to exist that just doesn’t.
@truthbetold69425 ай бұрын
He was very clear, you come second. If you were married, I guarantee it will get way worse. Don’t marry into a cult.
@RaleighLink Жыл бұрын
When I was in my early 20s my brother and I moved in together (he was late 20s), we had a similar dynamic and did everything together. He also had a girlfriend but she was always hanging out with us and we’d all go places together, kind of one big family. So I don’t find their relationship weird, what’s weird is him not wanting to go places without his sister.
@gloriousgal99587 ай бұрын
Yeah, and him having to get permission from her first is weird.
@Girlgonewise2 жыл бұрын
That ain’t his sister, Sis! 🏃♀️
@kman202 жыл бұрын
If she was calling from Alabama, I would disagree lol
@brendamoon2660 Жыл бұрын
Or it is and he and sis agreed he's got to occasionally date someone else for a cover
@PS-qn4oz7 ай бұрын
Did she ever say it's his sister? She said she didn't want to say what the relationship is.
@AB-mx1de7 ай бұрын
@@PS-qn4ozyes made me wonder if she is a “cousin” or step sister
@romans52345-cy3tq7 ай бұрын
LOL!!!
@inelsclassics43782 жыл бұрын
If it quacks like a duck……… The woman is looking for validation for something that she knows is dead in the water. RUN!!!!!!!! The man is happy with the relationship he has with his family member. This is how you hear stories of ‘I didn’t know they were doing that all these years’ in a teary voice.
@PS-qn4oz7 ай бұрын
LOL
@dbpiano22 жыл бұрын
This sounds like the boyfriend is either living with a step-sister or female cousin and suspects they have a love affair between them two. I can see how that would be weird. Follow your gut lady.
@romans52345-cy3tq7 ай бұрын
A bit of an odd question here Mr. Trump lol, How common do you think consensual incest is?
@vashtibascombe7014 ай бұрын
Exactly the relationships that I was thinking. They feel comfortable enough to have a fling,but know that they can’t tell the rest of the family about it.
@JustinCase7802 жыл бұрын
She is so over analyzing this and should move on yesterday.
@terriesmith26162 жыл бұрын
Agreed. I think she's over analyzing it because she's desperate for a relationship, until Dr. John told her to leave. Her boyfriend literally told her to butt out. He set clear boundaries yet she's still unsure. Lol Girl....you 40. Let it go and move on.
@quinnterry28342 жыл бұрын
He don't want her.
@rsnc235 ай бұрын
Lame. Just lame. Find another man.
@katysummer94187 ай бұрын
What I learnd from Dr. Delony is " Behaviour is a language". That is so true. I had a guy like that always telling me he loves me but not caring for my wants and needs. Better to move on.
@amandaforrester76362 жыл бұрын
Spent two years with a "man" who was a "we" with his mother that he lived with. Don't count on him changing. He won't.
@xtinecarter85432 жыл бұрын
Could they be step brothers and sisters.. heard some romantic relationships that happen since they are not blood related. But can ‘date’ others to save face or to avoid side eyes from other family members.. I’d leave him alone and let them be. All at 40’s it’s a weird dynamic with codependency.
@Kinksgalore2 жыл бұрын
Elon musk
@patriciaalbertson51834 ай бұрын
Oh yeah... Something weird
@strkravinmad2 жыл бұрын
Dump him, honey. You won't regret putting yourself first. You are worth being someone's first choice.
@eshqa2 жыл бұрын
Pleasing and-or including the roommate is more important to him than being with his girlfriend is. His roommate is who he's committed to.
@DBest-pk2tr Жыл бұрын
I'm wondering if the "roommate" is an ex-wife.
@eshqa Жыл бұрын
@@DBest-pk2tr That could be but given he told her not to come between him and his family I'm wondering if she's a sister, cousin, or niece close to his age.
@LB-gz3ke9 ай бұрын
I agree. He and his sister/cousin whatever are already in a relationship that they are happy with. They give each other everything a partner needs except two big things: sex and acceptability. He needs a partner to show off as his girlfriend for appearances (See, I'm not weird. I have a non-related girlfriend).
@eshqa9 ай бұрын
@@LB-gz3ke Great observation and explanation!! 👌😊
@FazNash5 ай бұрын
If it makes u feel uncomfortable then something is up.
@oohily2 жыл бұрын
I just love the way you give advice. I was in a relationship with a guy who was very very close to one of his girl friends. When I mentioned feeling “under her” and not being prioritized he set a strong boundary on her always being first. Wish I would’ve walked away instead of trying to change it and prove myself.
@antoinelyons53232 жыл бұрын
Love you first
@GameChanger597 Жыл бұрын
That's absolutely insane. If I had ever heard those words, I would have been immediately done. You couldn't get me out of there fast enough. I would instantly lose attraction and respect for a man who put another woman first outside of their significant other.
@phyllis97504 ай бұрын
Run now while you can still find a GOOD MAN. Don't settle. 3rd place in your own marriage makes for a very lonely life.
@bnepaul92682 ай бұрын
@@GameChanger597you are so so right
@sabrinaliu662 жыл бұрын
She is trying to justify herself into this relationship which will devastate her eventually. Her judgement of men isn’t very good.
@kcourtney68262 жыл бұрын
Listening to this I’m willing to bet this “family member” isn’t biologically related probably step-something or they share a relative and call each other family, girl follow your instincts and get out of there.
@Mmeme20232 жыл бұрын
Yes! 💯 Sounds like a relationship that is emotionally incestuous if not biologically or genetically so. Maybe step siblings or cousins by marriage with everyone relating like siblings etc. Girlfriend is the beard that covers their inappropriate romance.
@JKNat9004 Жыл бұрын
That idea occurred to me too. I also thought MAYBE it is a sister and he's just not that into Andrea, so he's acting like this so she'll take the hint.
@romans52345-cy3tq7 ай бұрын
Nah, it's a blood relation, they're from Alabama
@scott48256 ай бұрын
As much as I'd want to hire a private investigator, functionally, he is already married. She's the girl on the side, and he just told her not to interfere with the marriage if she wants to continue their fling.
@user-sp9if6yx1j7 ай бұрын
RUN! I have been in this situation and it doesn’t get better.
@oceanai19242 жыл бұрын
Girlfriend, this guy isn't worth your effort or time. You sound like such a kind, intelligent and classy lady and you will find better. Don't settle for SCRAPS!!!
@JackMason-oq8lf6 ай бұрын
Airing your dirty laundry in public on the world wide web is classy alright....low classy.
@David-wo9un2 жыл бұрын
How she even meet him if two siblings are always together? I am a little suspicious as to whether they are actually siblings; could it actually be a live-in girlfriend?
@eurekahope53102 жыл бұрын
Kissing cousins? It could also be a different culture, although this seems extreme even in very strong family cultures.
@jennyhammond92612 жыл бұрын
Yeah, my first thought is that he is lying and it's not even a relative. If it is true, then I'm not interested in a grown man that needs his sissy to run all of his errands with him and spend every waking moment together.
@nmc18592 жыл бұрын
@@eurekahope5310 yes.
@nmc18592 жыл бұрын
@@jennyhammond9261 no kidding! Not attractive.
@sarahjoy84792 жыл бұрын
My little brother moved in with me when I was 22 and I got divorced and needed help keeping my house out of foreclosure and the maintenance kept up but I didn’t go everywhere with him and when he met his soon to be wife, I certainly didn’t double date lol he eventually moved out when they got married and I didn’t freak out. They are 40 a little older than me now, if this was me I would have huge “weird” flags and RUN 🏃♀️ not walk
@ominous4502 жыл бұрын
He's in an open relationship
@ilexevergreen5405 Жыл бұрын
Bringing her along on dates?? Maybe once, Not multiple times, not ongoing!
@stephanieg38202 жыл бұрын
Very odd she wouldn’t tell him who the family member was.
@lh15146 ай бұрын
Yes! It's very weird!
@jenanimazed59324 ай бұрын
It’s probably to protect his identity. Specifics can make it easy to recognize who the speaker is talking about.
@mikef88463 ай бұрын
How specific could it possibly be? A prince and princess of a country or something? I can't think how this info could be specific enough to identify someone.
@budgiebirdy2 жыл бұрын
She's only a couple of months in and she's already experiencing problems. This guy is weird. She needs to let him go and find someone normal.
@OHsopositive Жыл бұрын
Maybe that’s the whole crux of the matter - he only has a couple months with her but a lifetime of shared experiences with his family member. Give him a minute to make that transition without having to completely sacrifice/neglect a connection that’s important to him (and always will be, in some way) She wants to come on the scene & quickly become his whole world, as if they’re already married. He seems to want to slowly integrate her into his world one small step at a time.
@RepentImmediately Жыл бұрын
@@OHsopositiveso you bring your sister on your dates?
@danigirl1032 жыл бұрын
Nah that’s super weird. They’re in a relationship or got something very strange goin on. Run.
@EthanLomas6 ай бұрын
I think he is emptying his sick into her purse regularly. I bet its sticky and moist
@pattybaselines5 ай бұрын
Maybe he just doesn’t like his gf that much
@EthanLomas5 ай бұрын
@@pattybaselines No, he is definitely enjoying unnatural relations with him.
@RosaGrau20145 ай бұрын
The sister is not a sister. The guy is a liar.
@saje2396 ай бұрын
“One of the keys to being well is owning and acknowledging reality.” That seems so obvious, but we avoid it more than we realize at first glance.
@tammyreise2 жыл бұрын
You can’t come on the show and not disclose who the so called roommate is… I mean it’s totally a waste of time that he’s even trying to start a relationship with a new person when you can just be with the roommate… now if it’s a family member then she should be concerned. If you’ve addressed it and he has made any changes, he doesn’t care about her feelings. She should let it go. However, the doctor really assessed this well and gave her really great advice. I’m one of those ppl that want to know full story! Great show.
@pmeehan_32 жыл бұрын
With all due respect she should just walk away. There is really no reason to have any kind of discussion with him.
@michelleeaton92826 ай бұрын
Yes. Wasted words. Just walk away and block his number. This will leave him alone with his thoughts and not your words that he will twist for his own unhealthy purposes.
@brightpage10205 ай бұрын
They have had the discussion. He put her in her place for all intents and purposes. She might be in denial. Because that hurts. For whatever reason. Girl, do yourself a favor and just quit calling / texting him for like 2-5 days or a week. Altogether. No contact. Does he contact you? To see what's up, or even if you are ok? If so, you can always be like, "I've been thinking about that cryptic answer you gave when I asked if we could ever just be a couple instead of a throuple and you put me in my place. That's been weighing on my heart some and I wasn't sure if it was worth even addressing. Or if you'd notice I'd been gone, you are usually so busy with your incest partner or wife, holding me on the DL or whatever.. I didn't want to overthink it. I just figured your answer was plenty and realized this type of relationship wasn't my cup of tea. No love lost, I just want to feel like I am a priority in my partner's life and I don't. That's nothing against you, but it's up to me to make changes I can deal with rather than do emotional backbends I might wind up resentng you for later. [Long Sigh] We cool?"
@Iamsam-jl5fn4 ай бұрын
Yep. Never cast pearls to swine.
@Swimfit9982 жыл бұрын
Sounds like he is already married .. you have to move on
@kekejefferson92192 жыл бұрын
I love that, "Owning and acknowledging reality ".
@JoshKoahou2 ай бұрын
My dad told me something when I was a kid that I have used as sort of a guide in my work life and relationships, “If there are problems in the beginning, there are problems throughout.”
@anneflynn96144 ай бұрын
Run, Forrest, Run!!! No matter what his relationship is with his relative is, it isn't going to work out for you.
@nt38332 жыл бұрын
Whether or not it is weird doesn’t matter that much in my opinion. A better question to ask yourself is are you satisfied/happy with the relationship he is offering you? For me, I’ve got to be #1. If you’re looking for a life partner you should be each other’s #1.
@zeal4god4022 жыл бұрын
He wants to bring his relative on dates with them??!! Grown man needs a chaperone??!! They ALREADY spend excessive time together, where's the desire for quality alone time with his gf? Nah, she's not his official main woman, she's the side piece. Red flag!
@isay2078 ай бұрын
40 and hes not selfsefincent keeper😢
@janwells21992 жыл бұрын
Run don't walk!
@haydeecolon78682 жыл бұрын
😅🤣😂
@mv73742 жыл бұрын
Also anyone curious as to why she didn't want to disclose the relationship? I'm trying to guess as to why
@kitw762 жыл бұрын
There is something not right here… that caller needs to move on asap!
@ConceptHut2 жыл бұрын
I think she should ask him if he ever planned to get married and move in with his wife and not have the female family member come with.
@benb77272 жыл бұрын
Lady, please run. It’s super weird.
@nicolcacola2 жыл бұрын
Sounds like she's just being used as a front. If he's living with an undisclosed female family member and it's weird, he's going to tell people "well I have a girlfriend so..". Totally weird.
@kristaw26862 жыл бұрын
People show you who they are pretty early on.
@mv73742 жыл бұрын
It’s like that Friends episode w the yeti and his sister 😂
@beckychristiansen89542 жыл бұрын
That was my first thought - their special bond! “Danny…the bath’s getting cold”
@proudmoon34 ай бұрын
🎯
@MinaKay844 ай бұрын
I thought that exactly
@apbxny2162 жыл бұрын
Great advice! I was in a similar situation, and I left. Some people just don't want to acknowledge red flags.
@mollynash25972 жыл бұрын
So it sounds like he's telling her butt out of my relationship. This lady either needs to learn to live with it or move on.
@Michael-jo9jb6 ай бұрын
John nailed this. RUN !! I can hear the banjo's from Australia, lol
@maryoleary20374 ай бұрын
Honestly If you are in your 40s and something seems odd, then just say good bye and move on. If it is is not working for whatever reason , why waste any more time? They are just a couple of months into a relationship and it is not worth trying to accommodate something that feels uncomfortable.
@TheIvyLens5 ай бұрын
That guy won’t change. He’s too comfortable in his situation.
@digitatissue85022 жыл бұрын
This guy isn’t boyfriend material. His focus is with his family member.
@respectabletampodcast2 жыл бұрын
Perfect call. Spot on.
@baylarubin87542 жыл бұрын
There’s a line between putting a partner first and unhealthy attachment or codependency
@elizabetha85652 жыл бұрын
Reminds me of that Friends episode. She should have ran a long time ago.
@JKNat9004 Жыл бұрын
😆😆😀I thought of that Friends episode too.
@PapaBearDuverge2 жыл бұрын
John, why don't you just say "lady, that's a wife with and open relationhip' lol
@E_l_l_i_e2 жыл бұрын
He can't say it outright but was suggesting it at 7:20.
@PapaBearDuverge2 жыл бұрын
@@E_l_l_i_e I know. Just crazy hearing these stories. Imagine if she heard this from someone else. What would she think?
@saribrown71562 жыл бұрын
If the guy was in an open relationship, he would have no issue to tell her that.
@PapaBearDuverge2 жыл бұрын
@@saribrown7156 he prob doesn't want to lose Andrea. Idk. Whole situation is weird. But that's their life and decision. Let me mind my business lol
@alladreamwedreamed2 жыл бұрын
Sometimes only one spouse knows they're in an open relationship ;)
@sweetstorm76522 жыл бұрын
I hope I never get this ‘understanding’, I love simple dating, nothing weird.
@kiki119742 жыл бұрын
The caller is the sidechick and has failed to see the truth
@georgereginald60842 жыл бұрын
Roommate at 40 is weird. I’m in my 40s and it’s hard living with my lovely wife and kids😂
@veracityhunter77772 жыл бұрын
Life happens to people. I had to get a roommate after several surgeries. Don't put people down, until you know their situation.
@Jannjari2 жыл бұрын
First my dad left. 20 years later my brother disappeared. It is so very important to allow the existing family to at least have contact. To have conversations. Without changing everything and taking over and eliminating existing relationships
@meancarleen2 жыл бұрын
you made your concerns known to him and he responded; DEAL with it or NOT; the ball is in your court.
@andrea60532 жыл бұрын
The fact that this 40 year old man doesn’t have his own house is enough of a 🚩.
@terriesmith26162 жыл бұрын
She's 40 and doesn't have her own house too, so she's got red flags also. She literally mentioned she had to live with relatives for a few years before she was financially able to rent her own place.
@ivanvargas24252 жыл бұрын
The fact that she is 40 and looking to date is a red flag
@Dhuxul9 Жыл бұрын
40 and dating is red flag
@andrea6053 Жыл бұрын
@@Dhuxul9 so he’d have two red flags to her one.
@Dhuxul9 Жыл бұрын
@@andrea6053 He is a man so being 40 is no problem but for her it is bad
@desimo1472 жыл бұрын
I'm thinking this guy is in a "safe zone" with this other family member and has substituted them emotionally for a love interest. Perhaps it's even a two-way street between the two of them (who knows). It will probably be a process to slowly replace the family member with an "outsider" even with the outsider potentially offering a more engaging and deep relationship. She has to decide if it's worth it or not. And there are definitely some issues here to be worked out. If they've been together for years, it will be very difficult to break that bond apart.
@girlonlaptop2 жыл бұрын
It's more like being in a competition than a relationship. Probably harmless but difficult for an intimate relationship in those circumstances.
@HealthCoachHayley2 жыл бұрын
Quite honestly that’s not something I would stick along for. I’m all for having a good relationship with family but this is like dating a guy and his cousin or whatever. No thank you. I also think it’s okay to not be okay with that. This is a new relationship, a boundary was set and frankly it’s a weird boundary. He’s in his 40s and single for a reason and I think in his case that reason may partially be his dependency and attachment on his relative.
@nancydickerson79202 жыл бұрын
We used to hear the phrase about "living up to our potential" in Minnesota. Sadly, when we're dating, we get this fantasy of someone's "potential", but it's a dream. And it never works.
@nicolem17382 жыл бұрын
It's only been 2 months.. I'm going with what others are saying about this possibly being his wife in an open relationship... If not, either way i wouldn't stay with him.
@BeeTimesTwo Жыл бұрын
I broke up with someone because of some family issues…sometimes it’s clear that you won’t be a priority. He was a great guy besides. But definitely didn’t want to sign up for a lifetime of not being priority
@eurekahope53102 жыл бұрын
It sounds like she would be de facto girlfriend number two.
@cw59482 жыл бұрын
Banjo music intensifies.
@cjlive51824 ай бұрын
Bwaaaa
@Psalm95_44 ай бұрын
Ok this comment should be number 1. 😂
@lisamb81283 ай бұрын
🤭
@madelineasmr9263 ай бұрын
😂
@itsjustmeagain57515 ай бұрын
Ok seems I might be in the minority from reading these comments but 40 w/ a roommate is a hard stop for me
@The.Hawaiian.Kingdom Жыл бұрын
If he’s telling you not to get between him and his family, that’s a very clear message of your position in the priority and hierarchy of his life. Now I’m perfectly okay with a partner who is close to his family & who spends a lot of time with them, in fact I appreciate that about a partner, but he’s drawn a very clear line in the sand telling you where your place is & you’re on one side of the line, whereas he and his family are on the other side.
@isay2078 ай бұрын
She will always be 2 fiddle
@The.Hawaiian.Kingdom8 ай бұрын
@@isay207 I believe you mean fickle… or are you suggesting she plays 2 fiddles🤭?? You may want to look up the definition of both fiddle and fickle as she neither of those things. Aside from that, as Dr. John said @7:35 _”if you’re going to date someone & start thinking about creating a new world with them, they become priority over your live in relationship with your sibling”_ She’s not being fickle (assuming you’re accusing her of that, as opposed to being a fiddle), by wanting to be a priority to him and expecting him to not have to get the okay of his family member anytime she wants to do something with him, that’s completely insane behavior.
@kimwoodhouse78917 ай бұрын
“One of the keys to being well is owning and acknowledging reality.”
@jillhargrave-george45104 ай бұрын
This woman is the eternal optimist!
@MsRuthie2 жыл бұрын
She didn’t laugh at the fiddle thing but it was hilarious! 😂
@beautepley8352 Жыл бұрын
I feel for this woman! I lived with my sister for a stretch of time and I even defended her against some crazy boyfriends she brought home sometimes. But we hated each others guts lol. The only reason she's bring guys home was to get under my skin and distance herself from me. It sucked and I also became dependent on splitting the bills with her which made things awkward. Only reason we lived together was because I didn't wanna step outside of my comfort zone and that's ultimately what I had to do to move on!!
@kellibuzzard94314 ай бұрын
John, always (or almost always) so spot-on with people. Kudos, man!
@kayn27562 жыл бұрын
Why does a 40 something need a roomate? 😃😃😃😃😃, if it's a cousin. They are doin it😂😂😂😂
@veracityhunter77772 жыл бұрын
Because life happens to people. I found myself in that situation, after several surgeries.