Is She Right, Or Dodging Aaccountability?

[@natehedgeman]

People who get bullied definitely DO something that gets them bullied. Being bullied is not just some random occurrence. That doesn't mean that the person DESERVES to get bullied. No they probably don't. For example, If I bully a bully because THEY bully people... All they have to do is STOP bullying people and I would stop bullying them. So they are doing something to cause their situation. AND.. I think... in this case they deserve it. In MOST cases tho the person who gets bullied do not deserve it. Only if THEY are hurting or attacking people. Stop thinking that you can MAKE someone DO anything. That's why you feel like it's YOUR fault. You think it's your fault because you think you can control him. And you can't. Let him be responsible for his actions and dump him if he treats YOU wrong.

[@AbaNPreach]

iunno bout that one boss. Sometimes bullies in schools hate your face, ive seen plenty of people get picked on just because they looked like what they looked like. So unless your definition of doing something to get bullied = existing, I would not tell someone whos being bullied in school that they are accountable for being bullied. Thats like saying people did something to deserve rahcism. OK CHIEF. A consenting relationship between two adults, where one party accepts getting the short end of the stick is not comparable to some students being bullied in terms of accountability. Bullying is a whole other discussion imo.

[@JCheck12]

Man that’s a hell of a 1st sentence

[@spuhgeddy1084]

That is so cap. 🧢 thats crazzy.

[@koaster6627]

@@AbaNPreachPreaching some people just don’t like certain personalities in school and it just erks people the wrong way

[@roswithabearfield5374]

Smh, I know I didn't do a Gah damn thing to get bullied when I was a kid in school. I literally just existed.

[@josephostbyluvsfiji]

A girl I dated I noticed was talking about a male friend of hers who I would find out was her ex a lot. When that amount overrode my low self confidence enough I asked her flat out if she still liked this guy. She said yes and when I asked why she was even with me then she said "because he has a girlfriend." I immediately told her I was nobodies consolation prize and broke up with her. I wish I had confronted her sooner but I cannot change the past. In the end what she did was crappy. What I did not do was assume all women were like that. I took some time, got over it and moved on. The unfortunate reality is that there are crappy people of both genders. Confront or break away from them and remember that what they did is only representative of them. They do not represent men, women, white people, black people, or any other group. They represent themselves.

[@NoNameNomad....]

Well said

[@scottcoley1906]

Say it again for the people in the back. 👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏

[@Noel-Marie4]

Thank you for being the only logical person to comment on this!

[@tobi9247]

Very well said

[@Brainiac469]

Amen 🙏🏽

[@jackbauer580]

Men get rejected on the front end. Women get rejected on the back end. Nothing new was discovered today.

[@Valen-mh9fh]

Not always, some women string guys along for the investment they give but have no intention of being in a relationship with them. The 'nice guy' dynamic.

[@theworkingmanpodcast]

Bingo…

[@sechabatheletsane9784]

True.😂

[@atorothcassidy4866]

@@Valen-mh9fh That is still rejection, some guys just can't tell it's happening to them.

[@damasterpiece08]

men also live in deadbedrooms and raise secret affair kids

[@mynameisjustine92]

"We accept the love we think we deserve." Which is why it is so important to work on ourselves and improve our self-esteem and confidence.

[@Nanohamage]

we also buy things we think are worth it which is why it's important to research the market. it's not that deep

[@mynameisjustine92]

@@Nanohamage I personally think relationships are deeper than purchasing items at the market, but you're entitled to your opinion.

[@sleepinggorilla]

Yes. I was with someone I didn’t like that much. She was a liar, immature, abusive, and let’s be honest, a slut. But I knew that was my one shot at being married and having a family. Someone loving me was not going to happen.

[@commandercorner5575]

Was not expecting a Perks of Being a Wallflower reference today.

[@cccccc4144]

I like that movie

[@maineman5757]

I learned this when I was 13 and had my first heartbreak. If someone wants you, then they will do what it takes to make you happy. It's as plain and simple as that.

[@goblin_queen8417]

Something my therapist told me that stuck with me is "You cannot control what others do, You can only control what YOU do and the change YOU make"

[@KeiraR]

She had alternative options for how to respond and she chose not to take those options and instead decided to be a victim.

[@JasonfromMinnesota]

#truth

[@Breggo1]

You can't control what everyone does, but you certainly can control what some people do. Especially co-dependent people. Also you can't always control what you do. We set ourselves up for certain outcomes. If you love someone and they die... you WILL cry or be greatly affected by it. Things branch off and it is important to understand that. That is why changing our mentality, health, schedules and core beliefs is important. Everything stems from that. Someone with no self-value cannot control how they feel or what they do in a relationship. They are often co-dependent on another person for validity and meaning.

[@nik-at-nite]

Absolutely. I had an ex similar to the woman in the video. Always wondered why he was treating me poorly. I would ask and he’d say “I don’t know”. I have a hard time detaching from relationships in general, but the words “you can’t control what he does. Only what you do” came to mind and it clicked. I hit the block button and moved on to my healing phase. He’s married now (no hard feeling about that) and I haven’t been with anyone since but I was left with some baggage and I refuse to date until I unpack it. Cuz I know how it feels to be on the receiving end of that…

[@areliablesource7733]

O God and Heavenly Father, grant to us the serenity of mind to accept that which cannot be changed, courage to change that which can be changed, and wisdom to know the one from the other through Jesus Christ, our Lord, Amen. Ancient wisdom that has been around so long but every generation must rediscover.

[@carbonjustin]

That woman really think "I can change him" When he already told her "you're not it"

[@1230mkelly]

Facts. She hears what she wants to hear.

[@tragedyturnedtriumph4180]

She's basically the guy that has to show off for a girl that is not interested in him😅, but gets to virtual signal & complain because she's a female & they are suppose to like her🙄. All she was , was a friend with benefits & didn't even know it or delusional.

[@AtheneHolder]

THIS!!!

[@user-ry6jj6kx2s]

That's not the point. The point is guys should be treating women with respect regardless, this is most likely about a man who doesn't respect women, he uses respect to keep a woman and will do as little as he can get away with. And a lot of guys like that start off acting like they are in love, they start off doing the nice things, and then start doing less and less. They basically fake love and respect a the beginning, and use the girl for a while. They don't tell them they're not it, they take what they can to begin with, and then say she was never going to be enough.

[@itsjstjane]

@@user-ry6jj6kx2sI don’t think they fake love most people aren’t smart enough for that. Thing is he probably thought he was in love at the beginning like most men. But the more they get to know you the more turned off they get. Like you working at a new place you think omg it’s great it’s my dream job but the more you know about your work place the more you realize it was only shinny on the outside but it’s toxic af on the inside. Also can we all agree people can have preferences? I like huskies and my friend likes Yorkies does that make one better than the other? Or one person wrong? Maybe he thought he liked her but just ended up not. We need to really relax because we keep making people out to be monsters out to hurt others but in reality they’re just people being people. This victim mentality is very exhausting. And it saddens me women refuse to take accountability for their portion of their wrong doing and blame everything on the other party. Life is not just black and white it’s all shades in between too.

[@Izanagi-Okami]

Honestly, that fruit analogy made so much sense. I didn’t even think of it that way. Yes, some people just don’t or won’t like you in the way you want to be liked and forcing them to, will push them away. I had a similar issue in my relationship but I realized “I’m expecting this person to be something they aren’t and do things they aren’t into because it’ll make me happy”. I shouldn’t expect that. Sure I’d enjoy it and I’d love for it to happen but to force it never works and they will ultimately resent you for it in the end. Sometimes you find someone who is willing to do all that stuff for you and enjoy it. They are the sweetest, most ripe, mango you’ve ever known, but you like Strawberries. And that’s just life. Something inside you tells you “that mango is nice and all but damn do I love strawberries”. It may not even be the sweetest or the most ripe strawberry but you love Strawberries with a passion, so it really doesn’t matter.

[@sumbajumba3037]

i like mango shake if there is ice cream scoop with it

[@eug504ene]

For Real For Real

[@jwdathefax377]

But that’s not what happened here. She said that he went on to do ALL of those things with someone else with the reason being that he didn’t like her enough, so it wasn’t that she was trying to force him to be someone else, it’s that he was obviously pretending to be in a relationship with her for a steady stream of 🐱😂 Otherwise, why waste your time with someone who you “don’t like enough”?

[@sholenejames2292]

Awesome explanation

[@cynthiamartinez8994]

Do you suggest we just cut ties with the person who clearly isn’t willing to do for us what we’ll do for them? 🤔 I need advice please I don’t just blindly seek advice from strangers but if they seem to have experience on that situation it’s always seems like a good idea to at least hear them out

[@rachelhoward1970]

People invest in relationships way too early. Maybe it’s because they’re just too excited to have someone to call “boyfriend” or they jump into sex because “that’s just what you do.” Dating is actually supposed to be a way for you to get to know what you want in a partner. If you treat it too seriously before you’ve even found out what you value, you’re doing neither of you any favors. It pays to hold off on more serious aspects of relationships, because it gives you time to understand and feel before you complicate it.

[@SarcasmicGlory]

I wish someone taught me this a long time ago ❤️🙏

[@_memento_mori_777]

The poly/casual dating push is REALLY diluting this too. People aren't poly past understanding the type of love I have for my paired partner is different from friends which is different from my family and different to my pets. The relational model encompassed under poly is just sex scouting dating under peak capitalism (people as replaceable /interchangable things)

[@tinygold772]

So true and it’s easy to pick up that energy and then you think this doesn’t actually make me feel special or chosen because you haven’t even got to know me and you’re treating me like I’m yours. That’s a turn off

[@wildershoney2439]

Sometimes you don't record. You just reflect, cry, learn, and move on. It's called growing up.

[@Sephiroso.]

That's a thing of the past for people who grew up with social media their entire lives.

[@pantsenfuego9986]

She’s beating herself up over it and therefore it’s her own self fulfilling prophecy. She’s wasn’t enough for him and her crying on the internet about it proof positive.

[@MUSTAF_AROD_UPYUR_POUPR]

Big facts

[@ChristinaMoralesMindfuqed]

Yeah. Thats what i do. But i guess not everyone functions the same way.🤷🏽‍♀️

[@user_kH9bw3ns1]

I thought it was sweet and honest and it's nice for some people to see that they are not alone in dealing with certain situations

[@heliphino]

Damn Aba, you nailed it in this one "It's not about victim blaming, it's about having agency and not being in a perpetual state of victimhood"

[@Mightyyy8]

You know what's crazy? I come to the conclusion that people ain't shit regardless if you're a man or woman.

[@Llkolii]

yess its not gender its people!

[@SwiftyDawsonFan]

Facts

[@Acostilate]

Finally, a legit take

[@calebco7985]

Because you tryna date out your league like everyone else.

[@Caponeson1]

It's not crazy at all.

[@ClassicRuby]

12:05 lmfaooooo it's "you're making a mountain out of a molehill"

[@alexc4115]

He was so close at the end 😂

[@do0Mbot]

I been scrolling looking for a commenter who thought as I did...

[@WasthatCourtney]

I love that he basically got it at 12:12 then said it wasn't a real saying 😂

[@ItsmeCR-g8j]

She was really marinating on this. They didn’t like you enough is not on you BUT if you think they’re not treating you “right” then it is your responsibility to leave the situation. If you stay after they’ve told you through words and/or actions that you’re only going to get a certain kind of treatment, it’s your choice to leave or stay. She’s mad at herself for staying in a situation she knew wasn’t right for her. Most of us have been there at one time or another. Once you accept accountability for your role in whatever situation, you can decide that you will not settle for I’ll-treatment in the future. Accept that you can be the best you and someone will not like you.

[@AdemolaAderibigbe-i7u]

While I hear you but you also need to look at the other side too. He probably didn't do what she wanted because she wasn't that useful to him either and at that point what she was asking for wasn't worth the stress to the guy and sometimes what women call basic needs aren't exactly basic - It costs the person asking nothing to just ask, its the person making the effort that can tell you just how stressful it is to get it done.

[@ItsmeCR-g8j]

@@AdemolaAderibigbe-i7u We can speculate on the reasons all day. Whether he did or didn’t find her useful or her simply viewed her as a placeholder, if you’re not putting effort in your partner that’s not ok. However, if you told your partner that they’re you’re not willing to give them the basics, while you’re a crappy person, the partner can choose to stay or go. If he found her useless, he should’ve let it go long before feelings got involved.

[@hayley179g]

It also depends on the severity of the situation and the consequences. Of course not buying flowers or stringing a woman along are relationship level issues, but it's also important to point out if there's physical or sexual abuse, some women may accept that too, but most of the responsibility is his, even if she didn't leave.

[@Ssookawai]

Bingo... a man who's ready is just ready.... it's not even about you or about the next woman, I hope more ladies understand this, it's NOT about them at all, it's 100% about that guy. If you're with him and he's ready, he'll make it clear. You can be an amazing woman but he's not ready, so he'll waste your time and seeing how you wasted it with him, he'll move on "from you" once he becomes ready and get a "fresh start". Women should keep rotational dating if they want a serious relationship and just "observe" these men, they always say what you need to hear on one condition, push gently the conversation then zip your mouth lol, they're gonna tell us everything. Men had always told me everything I needed to hear and this is why I barely dated... I make my exit very early to even be involved in a relationship.

[@Ekim2F94]

I've certainly been there 2 years ago. Was in a one sided situationship. Gave her everything and did so much despite her telling me she wasn't interested in a relationship. I thought that I could change her mind and tried to go above and beyond at my own expense. She later told me she was talking to some other dude met his family and that she was done. It hurt alot and I hated her but after having 2 years to reflect I ultimately found that ididnt respect myself at all. I now understand and respect myself more than ever. I agree with Aba and Preaches sentiments. Yeah it wasn't right she deliberately kept accepting my gifts and gestures despite NOT liking me like that but I also kept OFFERING and GIVING despite her literally telling me she wasn't interested in an actual relationship. We DO have our own agency. Take what people say as they say it. If someone has no intention to be on the same page as you, you have to do what's right for yourself and walk away. Man or woman.

[@DahLekKnight]

That fruit analogy is SPOT ON! I used the same thing with ice cream explaining to my friend why he shouldn’t get hung up on girls that don’t like him based on things he can’t change like his ethnicity or height.

[@rowrowboat5948]

Interesting but flavor’s can be good because society said so. Societal pressure does persuade people in a certain direction that’s hard to swallow. We can make our flavors shine a little to prove ourselves by being the better version of our selves. But sometimes the odds are still against you. Never give up I say.

[@basilbaby7678]

Original comment all day long!

[@ptterodactyl5597]

@@rowrowboat5948 most motivational reply ever ❤😂

[@vinvos8651]

​@@rowrowboat5948 Fr. After my first rejection I was destroyed for like two days but then I was like you know what "fuck this girl!" (even though i still wanted her). I decided that I was gonna do everything in my power to get her back even though I had no idea why I got rejected. My plan was to improve like crazy in all apsects of my life and I honestly saw more personal growth in the following months than I have at any other time in my life. I never saw her again which is weird because we have a lot of incommon friends and live relatively close to each other but at this point it is whatever. Now I have forgotten about her, atleast to an extent considering she was my first and really did change me indirrectly which I thank her for, and I have a Girlfriend that I love and life is pretty good. Either way though, to a healthy extent it is definetily not bad to get hung up on a girl, just make sure you dont close of all other possibilities and get too hung up because the one negative part of my "obsession" was that I ended up overshining other women and me not being that interested in them when I realise afterwards that they where honestly a better fit for me.

[@moee_thyself]

Facts! The right woman doesn’t care

[@jcnot9712]

Perfect example of “some women don’t want a good man, they want the man they like to be good to them.”

[@nanir8307]

I’ve never heard this…but there’s truth to it!

[@ekppaiva]

I mean, it’s to be expected. If they’re with a good man, chances are, that man will be good to them. But that’s just me! 🤷🏽‍♀️

[@TimeofRagnarok]

​@@ekppaiva I don't think you quite got what he said.

[@ekppaiva]

@@Samura1313 oh, okay. Sorry about that, English isn’t really my first language lol

[@wouldyounot7971]

@@Samura1313do you know how to tell if he has morals or not?

[@musicwatcher100]

The girl i loved for 8 years left me because i was too lazy. Yet, throughout the years, i suggested hiking, traveling, or going to concerts and bar events, but she didn't want to. I offered throughout the years, but i learned what she didn't like. it's part of learning our partner. So yeah, i stopped suggesting dates, but i made sure we would go out to eat twice a week, and i made my work give me the same days off as her. Picky to eat, picky with presents, never made up her mind, yet i loved her. Luckily, when it ended, i was over it, too. Edited for spelling

[@RobinXlone]

U was too focused on pleasing her, that's what she meant by lazy. U wasn't focused on yaself enough king.

[@musicwatcher100]

@RobinXlone fs, maybe I should've just taken a day off when she was at work. I still worked out mon-fri and ran on the weekend. I'm just grateful I didn't lose any friends and they kept me busy after it ended

[@Freddyblazer]

​@RobinXlone Tha maybe be tru but that was the poorest way to communicate 'u lazy' , second if i like doing these things but it would be nice for my girl to go with me Cus at some point if i always doing things that isnt work, but my girl is never wit it??. We arent a good couple. That not me being lazy ,that the girl poor communication ..

[@davidtrujillo6420]

It's your responsibility to respect yourself enough to not tolerate disrespect.

[@0ijm3409fiwrekj]

FACTS 💯💯💯

[@_..-.._..-.._]

“He’s just not that into you”

[@Kinos141]

Yes, simple.

[@Whajushappened7]

Yep they even made a movie about it

[@phyniseconner2011]

BINGO! People think if they give their all to people who arent giving their all in return it makes them a victim. No, you're not a victim you're an ENABLER. If you stay with someone who according to you treats you poorly you are not a victim but a willing participant. Your hurt is valid but that validity does not excuse your allowing that person to mistreat you. And she needs therapy because she said she is over the ex but the fact that he did for the new woman what he didnt do for her & that bothers her. WRONG! When you are truly over someone you don't care what they do or don't do or who they do or don't do it with. She still loves him.

[@phyniseconner2011]

BINGO!

[@talyahr3302]

Yeah. That's why I disagree with Aba. It's not personal, it's simply business.

[@feralproud472]

The most powerful thing I learnt from a therapist was that at some point I have to take responsibility for my decision to consistently CHOOSE a person who isn't right for me. If someone shows you you mean nothing to you. You can either choose yourself or choose them. That revelation was so empowering to me 🙌🏽🙏🏽✨ Once the beast shows you their intentions. If you choose to keep entering their world/ allow them in yours...it becomes a you problem. Rejection (through poor treatment by others) is personal and painful. But you get to step away. My love for myself, my inner child, my future self and past self comes first. Now I'm ranting 😂🤣 but while I'm on it, don't waste your energy trying to change someone! Focus that precious energy on self growth. ❤️🙏🏽❤️

[@jseehowitsbeen3177]

I wish my sister would learn this. She has chosen horrible guys to be with and stay with. She’s been verbally and physically abused by an ex boyfriend yet stayed with him for years even though she could have left him many times. Then she chose another horrible person who she is currently with who also verbally abuses her and lies all the time to her, but now she has a baby with him and is choosing to stay with the guy even though she could leave him. I fear for my nephew and how he’ll grow up.

[@jseehowitsbeen3177]

@Emit I honestly don’t know if she would abuse her son, but I do have thoughts that she might allow him to get abused or neglected by his dad, or that she might neglect him because she’s not able to see that he shouldn’t be growing up in an abusive environment. I know she let her previous boyfriend who physically and verbally abused her physically abuse their dog, which is pretty awful. But as of right now there isn’t much I can do. My mom is currently living with them and basically taking care of the baby 70% of the time, while also cleaning their house, cooking, and taking care of their dog the majority of the time too. We just don’t really know what will happen when my mom has to leave and go back to her home. Many people have talked to her about not staying with the guy, even before the baby was born, but the guy will be nice to her and “love bomb” her for a few days or week and then she thinks everything is great, and the cycle starts all over again.

[@definitelyahair5339]

​@@jseehowitsbeen3177This is all my sisters and I hate it so much that its hard to even look at them sometimes. I can only blame the guy so much when they're the one who actively choose to be with them and worse put their kids in that situation. I'm just so tired of it as their younger sibling to see this. I wish the worst for those guys and I want my sisters to wake up and realize they're so much more and can do more for themselves.

[@DAMusic-qu2ec]

That’s why you go with the “it’s not you it’s me” line when you break up. Too many people can’t handle not being liked.

[@Love_and_other_fairytales]

The Mango analogy was spot on. Some people just don't like to eat Mangos. Find the people that like to eat mangos so they will eat you.

[@basilbaby7678]

Chances are, that she ignores the fruit basket around her too.

[@dwightdunkley]

😮 “so they will eat you.” 🤩

[@Flesh_Wizard]

"so they will eat you" I know a man named Jeffrey that would eat you

[@waterbase7]

​​@@Flesh_Wizard Ok _Flesh_ Wizard

[@vinvos8651]

@@Flesh_Wizard Ok "Flesh Wizard"

[@hollister2320]

4:53 “They didn’t munch on ME, mf I’m MANGO” is a crazy sentence 😹💀

[@TheFeminineLinguist]

My favorite sentence of the video

[@techissexy]

11:32 but listening I’m hearing and she’s saying “they were pissed she has needs” there is accountability that needs to be taken here Why would we stay with people like this? Why would I put up with this Secure people do not stay in relationships or accept certain behavior and if we loved ourselves we wouldn’t accept this. Also but maybe the next person may had standards and boundaries or inspired that person, it really has nothing to do with us But it’s unhealthy and something wrong with an individual to want to work to change someone and receive their love. She is internalizing a lot and she may need therapy. Actually a lot of us do

[@mrnewmanthe3]

😂😂😂😂😂😂

[@larry7960]

Preacher’s fruit analogy was 100% spot on. Doesn’t matter how great the mango is if I’m allergic or don’t like the taste of mangoes I’ll never pick it.

[@bawseeeee602]

yes we understand thanks

[@lenoobpwner]

I love mangoes tho...

[@beeyoutitful]

Okay but as a mango I'm just saying don't pick me at all

[@jayo4282]

​@@beeyoutitfulThat's a legit concept, but also don't subject yourself to the whims of a MF who says they don't like mangoes

[@lindaliao2790]

yeah but the problem is he picked it, tasted it for 4 months and then decided that he doesn't like mangos. 4 months is a lot of time... imagine if you can still return that mango to the supermarket after 4 months xd

[@kole9158]

my previous relationship ended similar to how this girl is explaining her break up and i said some of the same things her ex said to her too but the difference is i treated my girlfriend like gold and she constantly told me I was amazing and how lucky she was and I still ended the relationship and I'm glad I did, my ex was devastated much like this girl in the video and it took her almost 2 years to come to terms with the break up but she was never truly accountable for her actions which is what made us break up in the first place - she didn't treat me right even after telling her what needed change and giving her time to deal with her issues, she just never understood and its not my job to fix her and take away the trauma i never caused, i didn't sign up to be her 2nd father so i left!

[@absta1995]

Damn I'm in this right now. 2nd father statement is so true haha. There has to be balance. If one person is doing everything it will just cause exhaustion and resentment.

[@kole9158]

@@absta1995 1000% correct

[@junkdogray420]

“Partner?”, he never seen you as one. Simply put you ignored his red flags and decided to continue the sexual relationship. Accountability works both ways.

[@SnookisInfant-gt8xu]

Women will call men incels or dangerous and not have self awareness going so far as to post something incellish like this on social media

[@123person31]

You can't say that without being a part of the relationship. This is a screenshot, a cropped screenshot at that, of a relationship and you draw a conclusion. Don't judge based off what you don't know.

[@user-ot2nh8qb7d]

Pretty much, some of these women allowed themselves to be someone's play thing and place holder.

[@mgancarzjr]

She was -zoned.

[@JojoJoget]

She got pumped and dumped.

[@tonybablony2041]

I can understand her feelings for sure, doesn’t make this any less cringe to post

[@islabee94]

My sentiments exactly. She's hurt which is natural, but she's being childish about it and clearly has some rational blind spots

[@Nabinut]

Like her once a week therapy sessions weren't enough validation.

[@pricklycats]

I just don’t get how someone could still care about something like this a year later. Most women would’ve been through 3-4 rebound relationships by now lmao.

[@SnookisInfant-gt8xu]

I can’t.

[@HDGaminTutorials]

@pricklycat so untrue women don't operate like that

[@jordanplanas176]

12:00 The expression is "Make a mountain out of a molehill." You almost had it.

[@RipperDio]

Lmfao he was so close

[@nickwilliams2415]

I thought he had it 😂 the little smile he did when he hit the, "Make a mountain out of a hill," and he knew it just wasn't quite right

[@DrAsqueroso]

​@@RipperDiobut yet so far hahahahahaha

[@lilmupp875]

What is it then lol

[@nickwilliams2415]

@@lilmupp875 Huh? It's "Make a mountain out of a molehill." What do you mean what is it?

[@MariahB1111]

Story of my life. I had to learn that I was accepting what I did not want, continuously, and expecting things to be different cause I could change them with my love. Utterly foolish and heartbreaking “karma.” The natural remedy for that is to feel bad for yourself and think you aren’t good enough. But you have to have standards going into a relationship, and having standards means knowing your worth as a human being. Doesn’t matter what your gender is. You have to be strong enough to detach and move on. It’s a really hard lesson to learn and sadly really easy to feel like a victim.

[@jaimereynolds258]

You teach people how to treat you. She should stop using social media as therapy

[@NobodyHasToAgreeAllTheTime]

Hey I’m just going around wiping up the vomit she left everywhere 🧻

[@CyrusIsnt]

Yeah this not a good look, she was on some movie shit hoping he change for her. Dude told her he was not. Posting this is not a good look either talk to your parents

[@VistyMe]

@@NobodyHasToAgreeAllTheTimedawg where tf were u going with that one?

[@WolfamongSheep626]

Nobody has pity for the sugar daddy that knows he’s a sugar daddy. He was upfront that she was the seat warmer now she’s not okay with it after the fact? Boy seggsual liberation sure did empower women………….right into being disposable sidechicks.

[@Jade_Hanson]

She aight getting off... not when likes, clicks, views and sympathy are available.

[@devinp.2934]

This is a textbook case of "When people show you who they are, believe them." She had all the time in world to realize this guy didn't give a crap about her, but instead she chose to be treated like garbage, got dumped, and now instead of learning from this and holding herself to a higher standard, she posted a humilating video for the world to see. She needs to do better.

[@LaChWi]

👏

[@Riza20462]

Chad has that effect

[@sallybob8848]

"he just didn't like you enough" literally is the reason though...how many friends or acquaintances have we seen in our own lives talk about their partners inability to show them the love via the language they prefer (words of affirmation, physical touch etc etc...), only to see them in their next relationship doing these vary things with ease. It's because you did not inspire that behavior from them. Their feelings for you (as strong as they may claim them to be), were obviously not strong enough to do things they didn't already want to do. "love makes you do crazy things" also means "if you don't love someone, you probably wont be inspired to go above and beyond for them". Thats the POINT of "dating", to take the time to see if the people you're attracted to reciprocate your feelings enough to create a lasting relationship of mutual respect and admiration. When a relationship becomes one sided, its easy to see who loves who, and who is loving for convenience. You guys rock as always, thank you for being who you are🤘

[@McWms99]

My ex came to me one day and vented about the new guy she was with and complained about how she was doing everything I asked, but he wasn't giving her what she wanted. Stability and to start building a family, i did. I simply responded with it wasn't me.

[@zombiejoe326]

So where would dating end and girlfriend/boyfriend relationship start? Because if your in a relationship with someone who thinks your both just dating is it because of a lack of communication that's the problem? Or is it simply because people are indecisive?

[@sallybob8848]

@@zombiejoe326 I'd say it depends on the people. Some play the dating game with the tactic of making anyone they see think they are the only one for them (until they find someone better and the truth is revealed). Communication really is the best way to circumvent that awkward feeling of "does this person really like me? or are they just with me until someone better comes along". That's where the trust comes in, if you trust them saying you're not a place holder for something better, then thats good. I'd say the "dating" ends when you decide for yourself that the other party is worth commiting to as the only interest. Then, when you communicate to your partner (however that looks for the individual), that you have feelings for them that solidify the desire for them to be the only one you show said affection for, and they reciprocate said feeling, then it should be relatively easy to solidify the relationship as more than just "dating". Dating is a minefield for sure, all we can do is have purity of heart and intentions, and try to asses if others do too when showing interest in us. proper communication is NEVER a negative in a relationship, figuring out HOW to communicate is the ultimate goal🙌

[@zombiejoe326]

@sallybob8848 I definitely agree, I was just asking because of the trend of more people enjoying the game rather than the commitment of a relationship. And I am wondering about being able to tell the difference between the two. Personally, though, I recently talked to my sister, who is playing the dating game but hasn't decided on whether she will fully commit to the next amazing relationship she will get or not (to be more specific, she would get a boyfriend, but she would never take the relationship seriously). Which I guess is fine since everyone can make their own choice in their relationships. But I still just feel as if there's some sort of wrongness there, a disservice to the next boyfriend she will get.

[@sallybob8848]

@@zombiejoe326 I think if she comes across someone who inspires her to commit, it will seem effortless to her. I understand the notion of not taking a relationship TOO seriously at first, it might be a defense mechanism for not getting hurt by someone too early on. That way they retain the "power", and can't get hurt if they don't invest themselves fully in a relationship too early. Dating can be messy, but as long as we're willing to grow and adapt, we should find a way to achieve that ever so longed for feeling of acceptance and inspiration. Every relationship is different, but when you know you ONLY want the one you're with, that's when you know it's worth trying to progress and strengthen. Sometimes it takes longer, some seem to know very soon after seeing someone (the ones saying that years down the road still happy). Either way, when you know, you know, and all you can do is give it your all, because sometimes it takes it all to get it all. You might feel bad for her next bf, but at the end of the day we are all responsible for our own actions. All we can do is hope that if he's a good guy, and gets hurt in the process, that he learns whatever lessons he needs to in order to not repeat any patterns, and have better success in the future navigating the dating world.

[@FighterOfWrongs]

I really agree with what you guys said in the beginning of the video I dealt with a similar situation, but with my parents, who looking back... were pretty toxic about things that weren't really as big of a deal as they made it seem. However, I kept brushing off their behavior for years instead of being honest with myself about how irrational they were acting, which resulted in me living most of my life with low self-esteem, bad social skills, regrettable life decisions, etc. I knew that their toxic behavior was the reason that my life ended up where it did, but at the same time, I'm the one who kept putting myself in that situation by not being honest with myself in the first place Things only got better for me when I started acknowledging their behavior and eventually moved out of the house. They haven't made any attempt to apologize for how they acted and even stopped talking to me, but honestly... I'm fine with it because I realized that this is just who they are and how much they were getting in the way of my happiness anyway Now I have a lot more peace of mind and feel like I can get my life back on track

[@jaykansher87]

“At the end of the day, that being said… coconuts in Barbados” *”make a mountain out of an anthill”

[@chrisbrown8381]

Mountain out of a molehill. It’s an alliteration.

[@17absolut]

AGAIN !!!

[@lucapeyrefitte6899]

Coconuts have water in them

[@CBBBJ]

@@lucapeyrefitte6899no coconuts have juice

[@jsonWho]

@@CBBBJ I thought it was milk? or is that only when they are worn as a bra?

[@thetattoodmini]

When my exwife did her cheating, started blaming me for her going out and sleeping with multiple men, saying that I wasn't giving her enough in the relationship and wasn't present enough in the relationship... it took multiple therapists over a decade to get me to see that while in some small part, she was right, i was also not entirely wrong. it's all about the communication in a relationship. my ex had expectations that she never expressed and just assumed was what a relationship should include. at the same time, i was also struggling to deal with PTSD and raising two children with it. i wasn't getting the therapy i needed then, my emotions were out of control and i was not the best version of myself i could have been. so i admit, i had a part of it. i was not on top of being the best husband i could be. i learned a hard lesson and did the work to get better and get some control in my life. the payoff? i'm now married to an amazing woman that i can truly be there 100% for and she is there 100% for me. but we are both older and have better emotional maturity, because we know how our own emotions effect us. these young people who are crying over relationships are not emotionally ready for these things.

[@BrolyPowerMaximum]

You are not responsible for anything anyone else does, unless maybe it’s a child you have an obligation to raise. You can’t make her sleep around, that was her choice just like you were her choice. Sure, you weren’t perfect and sure she probably had legit gripes. But that doesn’t justify her to go and do terrible things and blame them on you. It had nothing to do with you. Multiple men? Yeah, no.

[@adelb7897]

​@@BrolyPowerMaximumexactly... She could have talked it out with you, threatened to breakup/divorce instead of sleeping with multiple men. What she did was disgusting. Not only that, she also was putting your health at risk

[@JanFWeh]

Be careful bringing age into the mix. Might give people wrong ideas (and false hopes). There are people who will *never* be emotionally mature enough for relationships.

[@Welcome28487]

You sound like a great man. But you giving your ex too much slack…

[@thetattoodmini]

@@Welcome28487 I'm alright. I have my faults, and I can at least admit that I had a part in the downfall of my first marriage, which is more than she is capable of, but I try to do my best with my current wife. It probably helps that she's not American and I no longer live in America, but communication is definitely a major part of things for us.

[@noquartergiven1332]

“Shitely” is hilarious

[@JN-ye8qo]

I was trying to figure that out myself 😂. Shitely? Shittley?

[@fujitafunk]

I’ve been hearing that and “Funnily enough,” quite a bit lately. They’re the new “irregardless.”

[@scroopynoopers9824]

Wait, is that not a word?? Lol I'm being serious, I use that word on the regular. Although, I'll admit, I can't spell it 🤣

[@baonemogomotsi7138]

​@@JN-ye8qo Why did I read the first word with an Australian accent, "shaetily" 😭

[@Austin-vo2gh]

@@fujitafunkfunnily enough is actually correct. But my brain doesn’t want to accept that

[@Heyuyu7232]

I agree that people do indeed treat you in any relationship based on how you make them feel and that different people bring out a different side of you, ie an ex treating you poorly but is amazing with their next, because that person brought to light a different side of them in the dynamic. However I don’t think it’s always the case that the person who wasn’t treated “right” did anything wrong or needs to improve - maybe it just wasn’t the right match and there is someone out there who will love you the way you want without you having to change anything. The accountability comes in when you decide this person isn’t in alignment with your values and making the decision to end it

[@notthecontentiouswoman-wom2595]

One problem is getting sexually involved too early. It's harder to cut the person loose if sex is involved. Don't lower your standards, and then be resentful.

[@oreoakalaperoji8314]

You really think they don't know this? They just don't give af

[@xxTheLocketxx]

Most of these problems and heartbreaks stem from this ^^^ it’s a biological fact you become bound to a person- don’t give it up too early

[@soggycheeto]

This may be a dumb question but when are you supposed to do that?

[@notthecontentiouswoman-wom2595]

@@soggycheeto Well, best is not before marriage.

[@Turbulance16]

Incompatibility has never stopped being a thing. It has only changed over the years how we deal with it. To me this story just looks like a story of finger pointing and needing a placement to be put somewhere. When in fact the two just weren't happy together.

[@baderaqw]

From the context given, there was very one-sided neglect which I wouldn't equate to a lack of "compatibility". Not to mention, the end of most relationships can be summarised with "the two just weren't happy together" so, respectfully, I don't think that's constructive Edit: Thought she said she was cheated on when she was just comparing her ex-boyfriend's disregard towards her to the disregard cheaters show to their partners

[@Taggartize]

​@@baderaqwWhere does she say he cheated and neglected her?

[@lilmupp875]

@@Taggartizethat’s what I’m trying to find out too. With so much information she gave while being so little at the same time because of the vagueness of the statements, it just seems like the guy wasn’t giving her the attention she wanted and it does kind of seem like finger pointing because she never once criticized herself only the guy and I’m wondering how the relationship even lasted this long to have this many complaints if he was the evil crap and she was an Angel like how she is portraying it.

[@jenn8767]

I concur, just realise what you both need and whether that current relationship is fulfilling it or not. If it doesn’t it’s time to move on. I’ve never regretted leaving, just wasting my time, keeping faith and engaging in little mind games. My anxiety is much lower now too. I just sleep and focus on things that fulfill and add value to my life.

[@baderaqw]

@@Taggartize That's my bad. I accidentally took her hypothetical scenario/comparison at 2:22 as her detailing her actual experience. I'll edit the original comment

[@MemeScreamOG]

I was in a similar spot as her with my ex-girlfriend. I'd go above and beyond for her and do everything I could to make her feel heard, loved, and appreciated, but I myself never got anything reciprocated back to me. A while ago, I realized she just didn't love me the way I did her, and that's OK. it's on me to find someone who will and not stick around with people who don't wanna go above and beyond for me like I would for them. It hurts, and I hope she can heal. We all deserve the best,but it's on you to hold yourself to that standard, not to expect your partner to give you the world but complement your life in a way that makes you feel loved. Enough of my yapping 😂 you all have an awesome day if you bothered to read all this 🙌🏆

[@jakerobins9059]

Make a mountain out a molehill is the expression, parents used to say that when I was a kid.

[@lockiet7227]

This is sad lol… I was dumb when I was younger but I would never in a thousand years post that shit. These are the kinda shit you resolve internally. Not continuing to bs yourself

[@imtryingtoexistok]

Nah frrrr

[@Altair-El-Haddad]

Imagine if a guy posted this 😂😂😂

[@br4ndyaw4l]

@@Altair-El-Haddadhe would get bullied so quick bruh lol

[@StillAwesome21]

​@@Altair-El-Haddad they would clown him for crying, men are not allowed to show feelings. You know that 😂

[@StuffyNose6070]

She isn’t doing it to “heal” or whatever. She’s doing it for attention.

[@n.ele23]

You not being someone’s type is not a reflection of you or what you “lack”. It’s a reflection of what they want. Just because he doesn’t like mangoes, doesn’t mean mangoes are “bad”, it simply means that he’s freeing you up for somebody who absolutely loves mangoes as their first choice of fruit. *food analogies aside, we’re not everyone’s type. Some people won’t approach you, some people will only wanna hookup with you, some people will want a relationship with you, and some will want to marry you. The more intentional they are with a long term relationship with you, the narrower that pool of people becomes. And that’s fine, it makes it easier to weed out those that aren’t for you and avoid the heartache of trying to change someone’s mind.

[@toorare2live]

You can also be someone’s type in one part of your/their life and not someone’s type in another part of ya’lls lives. People and their wants and needs and feelings change. Sometimes people were only meant to be in your life for a season. Just how it is. Not necessarily a bad thing.

[@carlosguyton3391]

@@toorare2liveVery solid point that’s often overlooked

[@Sh8kS]

Excellent perspective.

[@Helen-jy6br]

Well said!

[@rahnstap]

Great comment

[@JPReckless2444]

the internet is not your therapist...

[@asiamayne]

But it can help others learn lessons and avoid making the same mistakes … Edit: VULNERABILITY

[@ll2323]

Seriously. She needs to talk more to her pillow.

[@guynumber3100]

​@asiamayne do you mean vulnerability*??

[@BlackDiamond2718]

The internet is not paid to care.

[@Cimlite]

​@@asiamayneAbsolutely, but was that why she posted this? Doubt it.

[@crystalinekrys8311]

We choose the love we think we deserve. I hope she can self reflect and see that she has a low self~esteem. Boundaries are there to protect us, don’t lower them.

[@missmuyoyo]

I understand how she feels and have been in her position before; sometimes we end up dating people with bad behavior. At some point I had to come to terms with the fact that although it feels very personal I shouldn’t internalize the feelings of not being enough for someone and/or being treated poorly. That doesn’t mean I’m not worthy. It’s kinda hard to completely avoid people who do you dirty. It’s really up to us to decide for ourselves what we are worthy of no matter how we are treated. Not even your family is completely reliable when it comes to being treated well.

[@JoeyNTasha]

"Maybe I'm the problem. Because I gave up on myself a long time ago." -Preach In my opinion, these are some of the most important words to remember in life when it comes to relationships. Especially for people who struggle with letting go of bad situations, self-worth and low self-esteem.

[@zypher9690]

I don’t understand what he meant by that. I got confused when he said it.

[@andycarollsuarez]

@@zypher9690 It means he understood the fact that he may not be everybody's cup of tea, essentially accepting you ain't that great or perfect, and no longer take rejections personally.

[@Red_cloud_09]

“It’s my fault b/c I couldn’t make them like me enough” No love it’s your fault for choosing to be with someone who clearly wasn’t enough FOR YOU

[@nicolesweere4182]

100%. A lot of people choose the wrong person over and over and stay with them for way too long, until they end up posting teary-eyed victim rants to social media. Just be glad the person who treated you like an asshole (in your mind) is gone.

[@Red_cloud_09]

@@nicolesweere4182 lead a horse to water type shit

[@neonblasters3878]

@@Red_cloud_09 this was fire ngl xdd

[@7Mushrooms7]

Who is she? I have no idea who she is or what relationship is she talking about.

[@SpiritualIconoclast]

@Red_cloud_09 Nah. She went out of her league and he put her in the sex only category not commitment category. Men will accept lesser women for sex if they make it easy enough but never give them commitment.

[@STOPLISTENANDTHINK]

Sometimes people feel so low, they get trapped in a cycle, their scared to leave...through fear and so on!!! So i dont judge people for out staying a relationship. Its a part of life and us growing

[@MarvelousMarrah]

I feel like in the broader aspect she right but men and women both do this … dating someone and looking for ‘the one’ is not cool. You should date ‘the one’ a lot of people only date because they sex partner not a life partner to not feel the guilt of sleeping around.

[@islabee94]

It's not just that although you're right that that is one reason. It's also because they are just not able to be alone and they need the constant validation of having a partner around.

[@kenneencail]

Eh, thats a pretty short sighted mindset imo. I think the thing a lot of people forget is “self” is an endless ever changing concept that also goes for the dynamics of relationships. You can love someone with everything you are one day and hate them enough to literally wish death on them next year. That being said If someone in a relationship is real enough to tell you, youre not going fit well together….and you still continue the relationship when they could have strung you along. You need to take accountability for yourself as well. The first and most important thing you can do to avoid being a victim is not make yourself one.

[@Didi-fr5ic]

Don't have s*x before marriage, there are things called soul ties , you think its love but it's not.

[@rext3404]

The men that have that option (to wait for the one) are such a small percentage of men it's almost negligible. Hoe -Math explains this very well.

[@7Mushrooms7]

​@@rext3404And?

[@distantlannister4995]

Late night drops hit different

[@AlonzoCrawfordx]

Early morning drop for me 😂

[@l7667l]

For real

[@HELIX1]

7 am in germany can't complain

[@pepsipimpin6010]

Indeed

[@theepilogue2190]

Yep

[@cgigammez5749]

People crying online about their shit is so annoying, get some self respect

[@TheDarkLasombra]

idk, I think it's ok to discuss things like this. especially if you don't have any real friends. shes not specifically airing drama, just discussing relationships.

[@kava3957]

Facts. This ain’t no therapy session.

[@ThePlaybookUSA]

No self respect it's a woman look how they dress in public 😂😂😂😂

[@cgigammez5749]

Then you have bigger problems​@@TheDarkLasombra

[@Toshiro_Mifune]

@@TheDarkLasombra that's attention seeking, not discussion. If you find yourself in a state that you don't have ANYONE to talk to, family or friends or even people you just know and socialize, then you have waaaay bigger problems than your ex not giving you flowers.

[@KISEMA02]

I have never felt so on par with people. I relate to most of your opinions. I seriously appreciate you guys and your takes on things. I find you approach things with an open mind, willing to explore different perspectives and ultimately provide insight from a relatively neutral place. I know that you have your own opinions and ideologies. You dont always have to be neutral but I feel you both take in considerations from all sides and make informed decisions. You listen to each other even if you dont agree. Not everyone will vibe with you and that is okay. I like how you are willing to speak your mind even knowing that people may not like what you have to say. I find its hard to say anything without being attacked or "cancelled" if you dont align with what others want you too. Those same people also wouldnt have an open mind to you. Keep being unapologetically you.

[@diamondfirenf]

It's one thing for someone to be messed up. But it hits differently when they clean up for someone else. This woman should have moved on the minute he told her she isn't valued.

[@Kaybye555]

They broke up a year prior ... It wasn't even recent yet she's still meddling and dwelling on what happened a Year ago... She should work on herself and her fortitude instead trying of trying to find reasins why the guy is happier now

[@UceScooter]

​@@Kaybye555 that's the problem, she keeps trying to figure out why that one guy didn't do this or that are want her like she may have. She has let it affect her in the wrong way that instead of seeing it as she wasn't what he wanted and he wasn't right for her. She has made it that because she apparently really wanted him, she can't move past why she wasn't good enough and why he didn't want her despite doing things right. But if she realized he wasn't right for her and by him laying out how he was going to be and what he was gonna do, maybe she would have woke up to avoid this. But she was either too infatuated or delusional to him and opened up the end result happening because she couldn't get over the infatuation.

[@BasedHyperborean]

Then she should probably stop stalking a dude that broke up with her a year ago.

[@devilmaycry9969]

Yeah, Why is she stalking her ex? She should have moved on the moment he broke up with her. She should have gifted herself a vacation, therapy . etc. She should have hanged out with friends and dated other men and blocked this man from everywhere.

[@devilmaycry9969]

@@BasedHyperborean That is where her accountability continues. For some reason she wants to make herself a victim ...after a year. She is now accountable for her feelings. This is her fault for not moving on and looking up her ex.

[@tds7078]

I love Aba saying “it is personal.” Not enough people admit that yes things can be personal and that’s okay. Sometimes taking things personal is for the best and helps you move forward. For example, I’ve been an athlete since I was 5 and the BEST athletes take loses personally and work on themselves/their game objectively afterwards.

[@DoubleA-ou7pj]

Yes, I sooo hate that phrase. If something happens to me how the heck can I not take it personally???

[@jasonbirchoff2605]

If the definition of taking it personally means looking inward to figure out how you enabled what happened and seaking to fix it. Sure. But often times that phrase means they were insulted maliciously. Which is not what happened. She got emotionally attached to him and he was willing to see where it went. Only to find out there are things she really wanted he wasnt willing to do. So he bounced...

[@tds7078]

Losses*

[@RocThaDon]

“Shitely” is nasty work 💀

[@FLYBOY7able]

Had an ex who not only cheated but cheated on my birthday and came to my apartment afterwards to tell me laughing about it. I was so hurt that i knew breaking up with her would not be enough so i stayed and did a full 180 no more flowers no more lovey dovey but i made sure she never had time for gym and fast food everyday so she got fat and after 8 months started sleeping with her friends one by one and would blame her for dumb reasons making her want to get skinny again but couldnt because i had her in a routine of not going to the gym and anytime she would try to start i would break that routine before it became consistent did this for about 2 years before sleeping with her last friend then ended it. Not the high road but i was young and she hurt me so i wanted to ensure she had no friends to trust, no good habits, and feel alone

[@jordyn.24]

This is wild, you’re the final boss😭

[@eddiee9147]

The Justice League, the FBI and the CIA wouldn’t get this out of me

[@ohdahngboi_2237]

This is straight up a villain ark

[@flowerbloom5782]

Dam bro you plotted all this like an arch villian. I hope you’re doing better though. It’s better not to roll around with pigs.

[@antoniao7439]

Whoooooooooaaaaaaa 😮

[@teacupdreams5735]

The line that hits me is when she talked about how in the beginning things were good and they were so different then he did a 360 and changed. This happens so often. I’ve always been very wary in relationships and have been tought to spot red flags early on. But it’s wild when friends of mine keep going in a relationship and are blind to them in desperate want for a partner. I’d rather be alone and keep my self respect than tolerate a shitty partner. Good luck everyone prioritize your health and mental wellbeing don’t settle for someone who does not respect you ❤

[@samuelrivas2752]

180° change lol.

[@Nosh5]

Love is easy, and relationships are hard. She has some valid points, but what I think is that sometimes the person you are with doesn't make you want to be better. Thats how my last relationship ended. I wasn't romantic enough because she wouldn't do activities with me, and vis versa. I tired being more romantic and was ignored. She tried doing stuff with me, but it felt like she wanted instant gratification. Some times you aren't the right person, and sometimes they are not the right person. And sometimes neither of you is good for the other.

[@jacs8824]

I think some women in a new relationships let men get away with stuff they aren’t going to be ok with once the excitement dies down. If a man doesn’t post me on instagram or buy me flowers and that’s important to me then I will communicate that. If he’s not reciprocating then I will leave him, he’s not for me. If you don’t demand respect they’re not going to respect you. You were clearly not serious to him and he showed you that from the get. Men will show you exactly how they feel and who they are through their actions.

[@Welcome28487]

It all depends on the man right. I’ve been married 13 years and I don’t post my family on social media often or buy my wife flowers. Early in our relationship it was just about spending time with each other and we were inseparable. This is a new generation thing. People put too much value on social media. Y’all going to learn eventually.

[@williamrelue]

@@Welcome28487my gf always asks me to too. I keep saying no. I’m going to delete my social media altogether just to kill the conversation. I don’t even use the damn thing. I don’t wanna share my personal life like that.

[@hotmess9640]

What’s crazy in you’d think that it’d be easier to nip that in the bud before you get attached, how can that excitement even be there if he isn’t doing what you want? Usually a man acts perfect in the beginning lol.

[@hotmess9640]

@@Welcome28487dude, buy her flowers what the heck. No woman will say outright she wants flowers because women like to receive them without asking. I promise you for those 13 years she’s been looking at men that buy their woman flowers and been thinking you would do that. Go to the nearest flower shop and buy half a dozen premium roses in a beautiful vase and gift it to her. I would literally die inside if my husband would’ve never bought me flowers!

[@SkRo0L3w5e]

It all goes both ways

[@Dnalor21]

1:47 The 'hypothetical benchmark' is called standards. Obviously she didn't meet them and they broke up accordingly.

[@gagewesterhouse9558]

Its not an excuse. But it IS the reason. A lot of women shoot themselves in the foot by telling themselves that men who wouldn't commit to them 'just weren't ready', instead of realizing they aren't that amazing. The reality is, most of the time, he just didn't think you were worth committing to.

[@stanlis5408]

She was probably a 5 or a 4 while dude was a 7 and moved on to someone better. He just didn't like to date down.

[@xelaander8429]

Or maybe the men were trash and actually weren't ready. Sometimes multiple things can be true. Also if a woman isn't that amazing in the man's eyes, he should let her go instead of stringing her along with bare minimum behaviour so he can keep getting the box or whatever other benefits, ditto if the sexes are reversed. People should stop being shitty, period.

[@bad209]

More times than not. Its women are pursuing these men. My guess was that she wanted a relationship, and he wasn't ready. So, she probably made it impossible for a rejection. I don't know. She comes across as the type who doesn't take rejection too well. Men fear the crazy ladies that smash your car and break things second she hears accountability. NOT TO SAY men shouldn't be accountable, too. I'm only going by her since she is in front of us.

[@KL-un8sf]

@@stanlis5408 my thoughts exactly because I do this all the time when I’m single, I’ll use certain girls as a situationship/fwb until I find one I really like. Dry spells suck so you gotta do what you gotta do but I never tell them we are in a relationship I’m not that kind of guy but I can definitely see it happening.

[@chikamsoodume3601]

Truer words have never been said

[@GamerVB1539]

I got preach's analogy on lock bro. That's something I had to learn with myself and the only way to do that was through experience. Knowing what's out there, knowing my own preferences, and seeing what I'm ok with is what every person has to do because if you don't know yourself, then you aint gonna know your boundaries and what you aint ok with

[@nathanhargenrader645]

Aba’s face while preach was talking about the mango was hilarious

[@josequintero7250]

But that Mango monologue is exactly what I’m going through right now, "Why am I not good enough for most people? I see y’all eating rotten fruit and wanting more?!" I have to come to terms with the way things are

[@e.blue37]

You're both right. Sometimes people use other people as placeholders. They are with you while they're waiting for something better to come along. It sounds like that's what this girl was. People put up with that mostly because of low self-esteem, they don't know who they are as a person and what they will or will not put up with, so they can easily be manipulated. From a different angle. When you first meet someone for a potential relationship, you're meeting the representative that showed up for the interview. The one that puts their best foot forward during the probationary period of the job. But once that probationary period is over, the real person starts to show up. The unsuspecting don't understand that the person was never real and then the low self-esteem kicks in and tells them they did something wrong to make this person suddenly change. Them not knowing who they are and what they will and will not put up with allows them to be manipulated into putting more effort into the relationship while the other one does the bare minimum.

[@Manuel-qk8uj]

It's rough when you do your best and it still is not enough. But that's life. Whether you're studying or working extremely hard and you still end up failing, it's rough but you gotta accept the outcome. Because there's nothing else you could've done, you gave it your all and still failed. Give yourself the courtesy of walking away happy. Same with relationships.

[@devilmaycry9969]

Truth is this. You will never be enough for the wrong person.

[@MikeLitirous]

She really hit record, cried, rewatched it, went “this the one” and posted it 💀🤦🏽‍♂️

[@Bud131]

Lmao. Edited it, made all the right cuts and said, "Yep! That's the one!" 😂

[@marlondavis9450]

Exactly, being the ultimate victim to a situation most of us deal with… girl stop it.

[@Valen-mh9fh]

There's a funny video from ShoeOnHead on women's posting their Ls.

[@Didi-fr5ic]

Woman do this for attention because she does not love herself

[@gerardoibanez4703]

Get use to it, women love this type of theatrics

[@Homemadegameguru]

What annoys me is the idea that "all men" becomes the chorus for the garbage certain women choose to date. You date trash, and then all men are now trash to you. Especially women who pursue the players, bad boys, pretty boys, the 1%, and things don't go as they want because that small percentage of men have even more options than the women they date. What about those guys you ignore and refuse to acknowledge - the ones you know have tried to impress you but they aren't good enough. Is it fair for them to call women trash and shallow? You can have good male friends you trust and respect, male family members that are happily married and faithful to their women - yet their positives, and lessons you can learn from them, become invisible because men get blanketed as a monolith of crap when women choose badly.

[@jessicahexhibits]

Nearly 25% of our population of parents are single parents. There are probably more like 20+% of crappy people out there, but you're right, we need to pick better people

[@BrokensoulRider]

@@jessicahexhibits Shitty people are actually a very small minority. They're just the most blown up because of a woman's fascination with the bad boy, the unapologetic assholes that fuck like gods. Mainly for that last bit.

[@CoOlKyUbI96]

Exactly. Men get called out when they do it. And rightfully so. But yet many women do the same thing

[@purplelove3666]

Most men that murder their women and cheat on them were below average ,so stop

[@diandriasmith889]

Nah fam. I have two male friends. They are gay. Straight boys/men ignored my existence so much in my teens and 20s that I accepted ANY single acknowledgement from the trashiest ppl on this earth, that no sensible person would ever accept. Not all women are manipulating the dating market like some evil geniuses. Some of us just realized these supposed good people are nowhere to be found. Sure, somebody else found them. We didn't. So we gave up lol

[@HeavyHarmonica]

I like the analogy of poker and for me it put some things into perspective, as somebody that was cheated upon. To play devils advocate tho: Sometimes you're just in to deep (long lasted relationship, or feeling really good with somebody at some points in it ) and the prospect of "winning" or eventually "being in a happy relationship" dispite "being dealt a shity hand" is just to much to let go off. You still want to "win" even if you are dealt a shitty hand. And, the same as with poker, even tho you have been dealt a shitty hand, it still to some extend rational to think that you can still win. so it's a great analogy. Yes you have agency over yourself. but against better judgement people are still gonna try their best to "win". Thanks Preach great take.

[@Shadow497]

Woman do the same things. They might not cook or show love to their man but get with the next guy and do that. We dont cry about it. Everything is learning.

[@true_plays_games]

Lmao women forgot how to cook 😂

[@Zozo.23627]

It’s true. All the things I did for my husband while we were dating I never did for my exes. He’s the first guy that I actually “liked” and respected. My parents never really coached me on how to find a partner and they weren’t a great example for me so I was a shitty gf for a while unfortunately. Once I matured and learned who I was/what I wanted I able to stop wasting my time and the time/feelings of the people I dated.

[@theezenriarinze9203]

Bingo

[@asura3229]

Na stfu man cry all the time.

[@CorderralLewis]

Ah yes. Men never go into the internet and "cry" about how women don't do the things they want in a relationship. Guys aren't affected at all and never talk about how modern women don't do x, y, z. Guys just learn. They don't go through a period of rage and hurt. Nope. Women just cry about everything that men also go through but men never cry about it. You certainly aren't doing that right now 😒... Do you not see how ironic your comment is?

[@somepenguin508]

I think it's pretty depressing to feel like you're giving your 100% while they're not. Sometimes it isnt even the case, sometimes their 100% just isnt what you think it is. I get where she's coming from though. I just rationalize it as people being selfish/greedy. Love is a pretty selfish thing at times. Not everyone gets it, nor receives it on the same level compared to someone else. I don't think being selfish is bad, but reminding myself i'm not entitled to anything when i'm already at my lowest sucks.

[@hoopslaa5235]

A lot of comments like yours, but you have no replies so I’ll say this here. You and her lie. The other person was not selfish or greedy or whatever. Women lie 90% of the time. This is fake and false and wrongful conviction, simple as that. The guy is 💯 % innocent, this is soo not probably and impossible. Me. Don’t just get sex and date other women you liars. It’s not happening. So she lies you lie this didn’t happen. Women laugh and call men Incels everywhere else by SOMEHOW when these men are In a relationship with those men SOMEHOW these men are now te most sexually prowess and conqerers and shit. Incels and lames and nerds ‘who hurt you’ everywhere else but somehow sexual gods and porn stars cheating with every girl when they are with you. That’s why you’re a liar and this is fake and no me. Cheat on women, (I’m exaggerating but I am accurately exaggerating for effect and fairly because of false accusations and false rape and convictions. And shit) How is that ? These men have small diqs and are incels everywhere else and all other situations but when they date you they are somehow the top 1% man Getting all the women soooo easily laying and fuqing all these other women. Ladies you lie, this didn’t happen, this is a fake story.

[@serendipitouscomet]

I just want to know what she was doing to constitute giving 100%.

[@AnaTheRandom13]

internet safety had always been a convo for my generation (born in 2001 for reference). she isn’t posting sensitive info necessarily, yet she’s posting constant that is so vulnerable emotionally. what happened to “THE INTERNET NOT YOUR DIARY”

[@avrixdt1266]

This is literally the plot for 500 days of summer

[@dynamicdingus]

Off topic, but damn, people rlly gotta stop venting online. How are you not embarrassed by being completely vulnerable and telling everyone about your personal life

[@purplelove3666]

This is the weirdest generation ever, and I realized that most of these people venting online about their personal life are Americans ,so I guess it's part of the culture

[@james-ej6xt]

You mean the culture of young american women on tiktok, and even then the amount that do it isn't enough to say that it is their culture ​@purplelove3666

[@sanejenkemenjoyer]

@@purplelove3666 blame a generation of failed parenting. mfs born in the 2010s aren't gonna understand that human connection doesn't require the use of the internet

[@fmjjjjn7510]

I don’t even like venting to people irl, I just suck it up which is bad but still- I’d rather that then try explain my feelings to people. You’re telling me you pressed record and started crying to the camera?…and you know if you look down, you’ll see your reflection of you acting like that? Bye bye byeeeeeee. ☠️

[@M0viLover]

Yup. Why I do not have *any* social media presence!

[@bklyn_miss]

That baggage rides shotgun! 😂 That homegirl is done, that's all. Fulfillment comes from within. If you're looking for your 'other half', it means that you weren't whole to begin with, and neither were your partners. Make peace with yourself and be whole. Become fully acquainted with yourself. Ensure that you meet your own standards and address personal issues. You instill in people the right way to treat you. The right person will see how much you value yourself and multiply that. Hoping you do well.

[@ayochayce8185]

For real

[@NeoZeta]

And I heard that they broke up a year ago. So it isn't even recent yet she's still meddling and dwelling on what happened. Whoever comes into her life next is doomed. Bet she's going to be doing the same thing this guy did to her to another guy. Because he's "the one who slipped away", and the next guy won't be filling those shoes.

[@Eswarramesh2428]

Bro this is facts

[@FuzzImp]

I think this emphasis on making it work is coming from a bad place, once a situation goes bad, it’s time to move on. I think people need to realize and explore the options they def have and not settle with a toxic situation. We all do it and learn but hey. It’s life

[@CyrusIsnt]

I do not think he said that to her.

[@YouTubeThrowaway-lj9vy]

I don't think there is a "the one" like plenty of people fall in love and their spouse dies then they move on and find "another the one" "The one" is just bs movie propaganda that people fall for. And I do think she is right that some people use "the one" as a smokescreen for why they just don't want to be in a relationship and work on things.

[@Gunshinzero]

I agree. Make it work when you're married. Dating is the total opposite. Chop chop.

[@YouTubeThrowaway-lj9vy]

@Gunshinzero Every relationship requires some level of work. Parent/child, brother/sister, friendships, dating and marriage. They all just require different kinds and different levels of work. Whether or not that work is noticeable in the moment is irrelevant. If you think back on it, for example, you'll see you compromised with your sibling over all kinds of things. You'll see how you agreed to help a friend fix their car on your day off even though you really wanted to chill at home alone. Etc.

[@YouTubeThrowaway-lj9vy]

@@Gunshinzero idk why the tag goes away when you edit to add or fix a typo 🙄 so annoying

[@chadarmstrong7458]

What annoyed me so much about the video was that I kept waiting for the girl to say "I bought them flowers, I did this, I did that, and I never got that in return". The fact that she didn't say that makes me think she actually wasnt doing any of that and still wanted to be treated like a princess

[@MKULTRA_Victim_]

That was her only complaint too. That and not being posted on instagram. No abuse, no manipulation. Just things she felt entitled too that he didn’t do apparently.

[@RobinXlone]

@@MKULTRA_Victim_ he didn't do a couple things that dont really matter at all in reality and she says he treated her "badly."

[@samwallaceart288]

Yeah more likely than not, new girl does the cute shit he finds valuable that old girl slept on

[@la-nyarichardson483]

​@@MKULTRA_Victim_ being romantic is apart of a relationship. You dont get cool pointsnfor simply not being a good person. You can be a good person and still be a bad boyfriend

[@plutomeyers9220]

It's hard to leave a relationship when your treated poorly because you want the good times back. However hard it is if someone is hurting you, it's time to leave

[@garethwillis]

She struggles with self worth which is evident in the way she allows herself to be treated. Hurting yourself hurts so much more than when others do it. Until you are prepared to walk away from someone that isn't treating you right, you'll always be in pain.

[@alexarias5717]

So true!!!

[@true_plays_games]

Again, she’s just saying words and you have no idea if she was or wasn’t hurt. She’s just crying for attention and appears to be depressed.

[@garethwillis]

@true_plays_games she hurt herself by allowing him to treat her poorly. Yes I do know she's hurt.

[@poisonedsoap1341]

​@@true_plays_gamesWhat a productive mindset.

[@HeyLookItsThatGuy13]

My most recent ex told me she loved me first and that I was her person, I believed her and I decided to let my guard down and let myself fall in love. Come to find out she was still stuck on her ex and compared me to him in incredibly hurtful ways. I immediately backed off and shut my self off from her and we ended up breaking up shortly after. It was painful and I was devastated but nobody deserves to feel like they're never going to be enough. If someone shows you who they are, believe them and decide if it is worth continuing or better to cut it off and move on!

[@m.poppins4843]

Thats though. Went through something similar myself. She was still having feelings for her ex and revealed it like it was no big deal. We talked about why she left him I was like who thinks like that? Took some (not enough) distance still got burnt in the process but hey at least I got that lesson out of it all: it is well known that sometimes people get into relationships for wrong reasons, but maybe even more often, they also do end relationships for the wrong reasons too. This relationship ended for the right reason, tho. She went back with her ex for a few months before breaking up again. Guess they had unfinished business who would have thought?

[@oreoakalaperoji8314]

If I have a single doubt that a girl is still thinking about her ex, I excuse myself immediately. There's literally nothing to talk about. "You're not that guy"

[@HeyLookItsThatGuy13]

@oreoakalaperoji8314 great point! I learned that lesson the hard way, won't tolerate that shit again!

[@AS-ht5bp]

In my experience (talking to the ex-partners years or months later), the guys would turn the end of the relationship on me because they knew I was willing to hold myself accountable or responsible for things I had no control over. They knew I believed I had more power in the situation because I preached agency, but I stayed anyway. I let them do it, and I let them do it to me specifically. So, I fed into the dynamic. I know now that I made it personal by trying to push the relationship into something I could be okay with rather than just letting them drop the ball and leave it where it lie. Women are fed a narrative that makes us more susceptible to trying to take personal responsibility for things that aren't ours to deal with. The things people do to us are rarely ever personal. It's just how they saw fit to handle the situation in front of them. This was an important reminder that if someone isn't handling you in a way you like, it's on you to walk away. Do not try to teach them how to handle you or whatever else you can come up with.

[@juuggoslovenka]

You can’t always expect other people to do good and moral things in these situations.. You need to protect your own soul and the access to your body. But if somebody ends up using you like an object (in this case sexually) and throwing you away, that’s on their soul. I strongly believe we shouldn’t try to repay people or anything of the sort, just try to pray for them cause no matter how powerful they might feel in this moment, nobody gets away with evil forever. Death is a great equaliser and it is something that immoral people from all walks of life fear the most. Do good, be fair, forgive people and don’t worry. One day, very soon, we’ll all be free and everybody will get exactly what they deserve.

[@t700e]

Exactly 💯

[@TheLostOne232]

Also what she is missing is sometimes people grow. As i get older i now have a fiancee, dont live at home anymore, have all these bills and responsibilites, i now realize how fucking hard it is to maintain relationships. I have to go that extra effort with friends and family and i dont even have kids yet. For sure when i was 20 in uni i never bought a girl flowers however now i buy my mom, my mother in law and my future wife flowers when i can. Cause i have grown up and understood i cant take those relationships for granted. So many close friends of mine i miss because they live far and i wish i didnt just always think i would have them around. Some people figure this out early and some dont. It took for me realizing how easily i could lose valuable relationships to start nurturing the ones around me.

[@Lashkor]

In regards to the men working to meet women's needs - I'm in a healthy, successful relationship but I still feel as men we have to emotionally regulate the relationship most of the time. Which is fine, but I can understand sometimes not having the capacity to do that. I think as men we see something we don't like about our partner and ask, 'am I ok with this,' while women will ask you, 'can you change this.' It's a different way we approach things, and not all men are going to be interested in making those changes to meet needs. It does suck that men are expected to change and meet the needs of someone in a relationship, but rarely are the man's needs considered. It's no wonder stoicism is the go to. It took awhile to build up the trust that I could be vulnerable with my partner and know she would help meet those needs, but that was also because early on if I had an issue, it would often become about her, and I find myself managing that and not really resolving my side. That doesn't happen anymore, but that's because relationships are a two way street and people need to work together, and they're different with everyone.

[@NotAdultingToday]

As a woman, I hate that too many women have this gotta change him mentality. You can't change someone unless they want to change.

[@Lashkor]

@@NotAdultingToday you shouldn't be expecting anyone to change. People don't change. Improve maybe, but drastic change doesn't really happen.

[@SuberExtraMan]

14:51 Aba having PLAYA-PLAYA flashbacks and smiling subtly 😂😂

[@Acer_2266.]

“Making a thing out of a thing, out of a thing, that’s not a thing.” Is Preaches equivalent to Making a mountain out of a molehill

[@shannonstevens2476]

😂😂😂

[@drunkentre]

@@shannonstevens2476 A million years ago when I was 16 and in school, we had a uni trainee teacher sit in and she was kinda cute and I used to think she paid me a little extra attention. One day I got into an argument with my teacher and she came over to see if I was OK and I could NOT get that phrase out and felt like the biggest idiot. Needless to say, I had Skinner type flashbacks watching Aba stumble over that and I igonred the hell out of her for the rest of my time at school

[@shannonstevens2476]

@@drunkentre didn't mean to offend but I've seen Preach say that on more than one occasion. Usually always when he's being passionate about something. I find it endearing.

[@shannonstevens2476]

@@drunkentre Also, many times in my past I've been the one to be embarrassed. Badly. I think as kids, it probably happens to us all at some point.

[@rclark1132]

I get what Preach was trying to say with the mango analogy of it being something someone may just not like, but I think someone not liking mango but going out of their way to pick up the mango, peel half and then throw it when you could’ve left it alone because you don’t like it is closer to what the young lady was saying….

[@danieltaylor3696]

Yea but how do you figure out if you like mango or not? You gotta pick one, try it out, and then realize "oh I don't actually like this"

[@josephjack4365]

Anybody ever thought maybe that mango was bad? People wanna blame the eater but maybe the mango was spoiled. Everyone’s the good guy in their story

[@joshmurphy6227]

IMO it seems like he picked up a mango knowing he wasn’t that into mangos and kept it around in his pocket for a while until he found something he craved more.

[@jessicahexhibits]

@@danieltaylor3696 I read this as the person already knew they don't like mangos

[@doctoroppa7991]

the difference here is that the mango in question has legs and a will and can just walk away or bite the hand trying to pick it up. set some boundaries using your values, and break up with them when they are not respected. You don't wait for people to change when it comes to boundaries.

[@gogyoo]

A French stand-up comedian once said: in love, one partner suffers, the other gets bored.

[@wiseass2149]

Wise words.

[@saltandpepperandmint]

That doesn’t sound like adult relationships

[@froglifes6829]

Thats so dumb

[@Nightwalk444]

@@saltandpepperandmint But it does.

[@jones4753]

Patrice O’Neal said that!

[@blueapplegirl1]

I stopped looking at things as "not being good enough" and started looking at it as"not being the right person". Of course a person would have to actually try everything in their power to be the best version of themselves but if they still don't want you then you're just not the right person. Doesn't mean that there's something fundamentally wrong with you, they might just be looking for something else and that's fine because someone out there will be looking for exactly what you are.

[@Meldrick-jv7sy]

Well said.

[@chadmendiola9833]

This is why you don't stalk your ex's social media 😅 You're only hurting yourself by comparing and making it harder to move on.

[@houseofhas9355]

And then cry abuse. 😂😂 Wtf

[@NotAdultingToday]

Seriously. As aba would say, "Keep it pushing." Move on. Find someone that will treat you right. Don't ever get hung up on some dumbass.

[@oag2167]

She says she doesn't want him anymore yet she's still stalking him, self inflicted shot to her self esteem.

[@SwagIzThaName]

“Make a mountain out of a mole hill” is the term you were looking for lmao

[@AbaNPreach]

What were your thoughts on what she said? Go to buyraycon.com/aba for 15% off your order, plus free shipping! Brought to you by Raycon.

[@gabrielmeth4844]

She wasn't that chick, and she is mad she wasn't that chick.

[@boltok9584]

The reality is he didnt owe her anything except a goodbye, women do this in spades to men so I dont really feel pity both sex's do this. Sometimes your are not the one shes just having trouble accepting that... this is the male equivalent of a cry baby who couldnt get over a women who doesnt want him. Zzz then to post this crying online Im sorry lmao get over urself shes not that important. An now shes gona use this an has used it in this video to just Bash men.... lady YALL DO IT AS WELL its not an excuse its just reality

[@JCel]

Yo, there's a typo in your title 😅

[@thetrasharoundmyplastic6342]

She's 100% right I say this as a man that has seen other men use that as an excuse, because at the end of the day they only got with that woman for one reason or an easy piece of 😺. As far as Aba's take on this the main point is this when someone goes out their way to treat someone better than you after you when they claim that they couldn't do it for you cuz that's not their interest that's not what they want. Then yeah it hurts and that's where she's coming from right now.

[@zoltankurtyak3398]

Well, looks like she has a self esteam issues, and tries to find help in blaming the partner, externalising the negative, common thing. Hopefully she can find some help, and deal with the emotions and own issues. There are a lot of people who can abuse your low standard man or women, so everyone needs to be better prepared to the dating, idk.

[@onnie.6815]

To be fair, someone can only treat u how u allow it, but, being shitty to someone you KNOW has low self esteem is evil

[@eljay11to1]

The phrase “make him treat me right” is wild.

[@MBG-ck9ou]

I think this is a really gray and complicated area. I have never cheated on any partner, but I have many sides to me as everyone else does and I have definitely been an undesirable partner before and have progressed into what I hope is a good caring husband to my wife. I wish I could say it was all me, but my wife also brought out a lot of change in me and she's helped flourish the best parts of myself as I believe to have helped her do the same. It's hard to judge a person as "shitty" because we can all be shitty. I try to keep in mind how I was and how I now am to try and have more understanding and compassion for people who are not their best selves in a relationship. It would be cool if it was simple, but it's truly not.

[@corbingrieves4505]

This is a convo I had with my girl-friend and she basically said that I just had shitty taste in women. And I was like fair. As I kept thinking of it tho, I think she was just ashamed of me and didn't want to show me off. From then on, I always try to make sure someone really gets to know me before they want to really date me cause I always feel like when they see the real me they get an 'ick' or just think I'm cringe. Basically, instead of whining about it all over the internet, figure what you can do for your next relationship and take time with your partner. There's this weird sense of urgency that people have to find a partner.

[@decenttattooer]

“Make a mountain of out of a molehill.” You were so close dude lolol

[@Hereallthetime]

Watching the video, I have few points to add from my own perspective. I think a lot of girls do end up feeling like a placeholder/the experiment guys use till they find the other girl who will be given the treatment they wished they had. I have seen this treatment through and through with friends and I think at the end what I realized is you have to decided how you want to be treated, if you don’t speak up, make boundaries and leave you will end up being treated like shit till the end. For example my ex-friend bf is like that, he never takes her out or want to spend time with her, he always says he is busy with school and work but seemingly have time to spend with friends and coworkers, never post her or want her to post him but he always out there posting his female friends, don’t want people to know they are in a relationship and the only time he would come to see her is to eat food cause she cooks for him everyday. She cries about it and asks for advice and when we told her to speak with him, make boundaries and make it clear how she wants to be treated in this relationship she will say yes to us but never speaks to him about it and at the end she kind of became relationship blind, villainized us and ended our friendship. In the end, if she goes through a difficult heartbreak and see that he is out there treating the next girl better and feeling used, she can be like he is evil but also she has to take accountability too cause she was okay to be treated that way and was desperate to keep him. P.s noticed how people are saying how it’s weird that the girl posted her self crying, it says on the title that it a diary/therapy video so it’s supposed to be like speaking about/sharing your experience with others so basically like group therapy thing or AA meetings. I know it’s unorthodox but it’s a new type of healing journey plus I guess lessons for others, people are doing nowadays. Cost effective to expensive psychologist😂

[@true_plays_games]

Women do this to men all the time. It’s called having boundaries and self respect - have them.

[@baderaqw]

Top-tier comment. I'm sorry you had to lose a friend that way and you're totally right. She has to take accountability one day and apologise for how she treated you and give you guys closure if need be. Then she needs to accept whatever reply she gets and move forward. It's sad how some people think that not being in a relationship is lonely when she's literally made herself lonelier by staying and isolating herself from her friends.

[@redaleta]

@Herallthetime your comment is so on target.

[@anthonycraig274]

You cannot back track a relationship especially when roles and behaviours as taken root. She knew she didn’t have the bravery to confront him and it’s highly unlikely he would have listened. I don’t know any of them but it’s highly likely he was above average looks, status and swag, whereas she was average or below average.

[@godsangel67able]

What I find interesting about theses situations is folks rarely ever think about the these situations when they're doing it to others, the moment it started happening to them is the moment all of a sudden they get hurt. We've all been placeholders for other people and we put people as placeholders but the problem only exist when we are the placeholders. Ive been on both sides of these scenarios, Girl was just having fun with me and I was just having fun with some other girl.

[@coledavis8591]

I had a girlfriend who used to always beg me to post her and the more she begged, the less inclined I was to do it. We broke up and I got with someone else and she doesn't bother me about posting her so I do it often cause I don't feel like I'm being pressured into it. I feel like the girl in the video made a big deal out of it.

[@Kaybye555]

People can tell when their self esteem is not there. And then they cry and blame others for not wanting that

[@marlondavis9450]

Honestly I don’t post them to protect them from assholes that may have a problem with me & want to start shit.

[@user-lp2he1md6i]

This sounds like some Narc shit. You didn’t like the fact she asked and instead of y’all having an adult discussion to compromise it turns into this weird “don’t beg and I’ll give you crumbs now but people who never ask for anything get the world. We all know is a lie

[@coledavis8591]

@@user-lp2he1md6i That's a false equivalency. My story was a KZbin comment so I didn't go deep into context naturally. I would post her after she kept asking but the problem was that she kept asking again immediately after I had just posted her. If someone nags you about something you don't want to do constantly and you give in to it you do you I guess

[@JamestheBloodedFox]

@@user-lp2he1md6ino that’s not it, the issue is that most guys don’t like being nagged about an issue, you’re not their mother and constantly bringing up an issue with no new development is just needless stress….and from what you said why didn’t she have an adult conversation about it to come to a compromise after all that’s what she wanted instead of moving the conversation to op who expressed he wasn’t interested, if you read op’s post she kept begging more and more which to most guys is synonymous with nagging……besides you can’t force anyone to change their behavior, unfortunately for OP’s ex her constant nagging gave op something to appreciate in his current gf of not nagging him and he showed his appreciation by actually compromising on something he doesn’t do and posted her

[@timeformegaman]

I have been in situations like her when I was younger, and felt just as confused and betrayed. My heart goes out to her. Its a life lesson, but its a damn shitty one.

[@ProfNDKai]

I hear it also very much same but it didn’t hurt and I gladly don’t need to count them as exes Happy to say I’ve only ever been in one one adult relationship Why’s that because I was asexual growing up and I didn’t even know it myself Most of these relationships consisted of hand holding after school, going to outings with friends like the cinema and sitting in our own row, being ‘the couple’ at a friends birthday dinner etc Most of them were too scared to kiss me they were waiting for me to initiate 😅 I wasn’t as confident as I looked and was there for the friendship more than anything fast forward they cheat whether physical or emotional but I get the receipts I honestly feel if our generation could wait to have sex after 6months (or 4moths at the very least) and meet each other’s family before having sex it will save a bunch of broken hearts

[@torachan23]

Don't feel sorry for her. She has definitely treated men who she thought were beneath her like crap, now has a problem when she's on the receiving end

[@simplynewb1144]

have you found an answer to the reason they keep leaving you?

[@timeformegaman]

@@torachan23 Well, I feel sorry for you. You know nothing about her, but came to that conclusion. Women obviously treat you like crap a lot. I am sorryypur dating life is so bad. There are a lot of great women out there. Just start picking better.

[@timeformegaman]

@@simplynewb1144 Dunno if this wad addressed to me, but if it was, I would say I had a problem where I was always choosing damaged women, because I thought I could be the hero and fix them. And I learned the hard way through life, that it doesn't work like that. And I turned away several potential relationships with some awesome girls to be with people that in no way had their shit together.