Is This How To Make Her Obsessed With You? (Hint: no)

[@rhodawatkins4516]

If she's lucky, on the night you refuse to get together with her, playing your silly mind games, she'll go out and meet a genuine, decent, sincere man, and never have to think about your manipulative self again. Win/win.

[@katjaamyx2922]

YES!

[@moonhunter9993]

Agreed. Let them "play games" that take them OUT of the game faster... easiest way to avoid all the douchebags

[@ChaoticAngelKitten]

@@moonhunter9993 agreed!

[@theflowerhead]

Games turn me off faster than you can blink. I love my sweet boyfriend and respect him. Crazy!

[@ChaoticAngelKitten]

@@theflowerhead same! I do not want to play games. If you like me, then show it, if you don’t show it, then I assume you don’t like me and I’m not interested in that.

[@melissawalsh8760]

Imagine a woman getting last minute tickets to, like, a basketball game from her work and her boyfriend won't come with her because a guy on the Internet said he should decline.

[@Greenplanet949]

Yes! There was a guy at my work with season tickets to the flyers (and they were great seats!!!) once in awhile when he couldn’t use them, he’d give them away. I got them once and my BF was thrilled! Why do people listen to podcast idiots?

[@erikaweed7478]

I went on a date years ago. The guy was late… no big deal, traffic happens. He started by giving me a backhanded compliment. So I told him we could just start over and try again, or he could buy my drink and there were lots of ladies in the bar that he could work on. He said I could buy my own drink and he’d find someone else in the bar. I said DEAL! The bartenders and the women on either side complimented me on losing the dirtbag. Stay classy everyone!

[@LunaVioletta7]

I love your response!

[@JaneAustenAteMyCat]

Now that's the sort of thing there should be videos about!

[@JaneAustenAteMyCat]

Now that's the sort of thing there should be videos about!

[@JaneAustenAteMyCat]

Now that's the sort of thing there should be videos about!

[@orielwiggins2225]

Helllll yessssss! I need this kinda thing at the ready in my mind and the ability to say it in a classy way. Still working on my people pleasing.

[@Coco-hq6ns]

Step one: be human Step two: Ignore step one Step three: …idk do evil shit

[@Hollyberrystreats]

Step four: Profit?

[@undefinederror40404]

​@@Hollyberrystreats uh, no

[@Hollyberrystreats]

@@undefinederror40404 Well the guy who posted the original video is probably hoping for some

[@spirals73]

@@undefinederror40404 It's a Southpark reference and a good one. Sounds like you're not familiar. Those who are guffawed at that.

[@DM-nw5lu]

@@Hollyberrystreats Step four: Wait for profit Step five: Watch your bank account and stock portfolio implode

[@denelian116]

The gratitude thing... Okay, so I'm disabled, so I have 2 aids that come in to do the things I can no longer do. These are absolutely EXPECTED, this is their JOB, the "standard" so to speak, to make me food or vacuum the floor or pick up my meds. They are PAID to do this. And i ABSOLUTELY say thank you EVERY TIME. Not in a perfunctory or dismissive way - I'm *genuinely grateful*, and I express that! If I can do that for people who are literally just DOING THEIR JOB, why the holy fuck is it an issue to say thank you to *me*, if I've done something for a dude?

[@CrimsonNemesis]

Hi, off topic, but I'm an aid, and I just want to say, even though it's a transactional relationship, and thank yous aren't necessary, I always appreciate it so much when a patient expresses gratitude. It's genuine, and it means a lot. So thank you

[@spirals73]

@@CrimsonNemesis I'm so impressed by both of you. Beautiful hearts. Thank you for making my bad day better, just by seeing this.

[@orielwiggins2225]

Yes!!!! And any dude bro who thinks I'm gonna be LESS interested or attracted cuz he expressed his genuine gratitude doesn't get how attraction or interest works. I'm interested and attracted to humans with heart and soul not robots who learned how to play a game and don't care about me at all.

[@QUEERVEEART]

i'm disabled , 31 years old and while i don't have aids my parents help me a lot especially my mom. i express my gratitude every day, i am extremely thankful and appreciate so much they do for me, i wouldn't have such a decent life without their help.

[@ginathecookie]

Tbf, there's also a balance. I'm disbaled too but I feel like friends and family have trouble waiting for me to ask for help or noticing when I'm actually struggling. And honestly trying to help when I need to do it on my own defeats a lot of the purpose. So if I ever dated again, my ideal balance for a partner would be having them wait for my cues and speaking up. As well as knowing fuss hinders my healing often because I have to mentally concentrate on it and calming my body down. (I have Rheumatoid and some other stuff. And a calm mind helps calm a body and vice versa, especially with this.) And it's not like I'm not bad and don't need help, it's just it's better if it's me and the professionals, especially since they and I know how it is and what is most helpful. Edit: Meant because.

[@colmivers]

When you order your pickup artist from Wish

[@emmabunch-benson4795]

More like from the depths of hell

[@anthonycory2116]

Nah Wish is too good for him he's on temu 😂

[@stomyn]

Except this isn't some cheap knockoff brand of a pickup artist. This is how they are

[@louisianalevy7484]

😂

[@michelles1250]

This is underrated

[@ceanist_]

“Are you my dad?” goddamn I felt that

[@TheKrispyfort]

Hugs

[@LibertyCairde]

💯

[@frappalina]

It's for sure not my dad. He just f'ed with my mind but he didn't hit me. 😂

[@andreevaillancourt2177]

In my case it was my mother. It happens more often than you think.

[@Lym-ed9tq]

Never felt good enough for my mom

[@Maerahn]

"Let her know that you're used to being the prize." YES! Definitely do that, sir. Because actually WEARING a red flag draped around your shoulders is just as on-the-nose, but can look sillier out in public.

[@celiashen5490]

Edna Mode: NO CAPES!!

[@bertberw8653]

LMAO genius comment

[@katjaamyx2922]

👏👏👏👏

[@JWildberry]

It's crazy that people are seeking out guides on how to behave like an abusive narcissist.

[@orielwiggins2225]

Right? Especially since they are already a dime a dozen. But if these narcissistic abusers are posing as if they have all the women chasing them, then unsuspecting semi decent guys will take the bait and follow their predatory advice!

[@DeathnoteBB]

*Emotional abuser. Narcissism is a medical issue, not a synonym for abuse

[@orielwiggins2225]

@@DeathnoteBB I think you're referring to NPD, which is different than the comment is referring to.

[@DeathnoteBB]

@@orielwiggins2225 That’s what the word narcissism refers to. Like how demented means someone with dementia. Or psychotic means someone with psychosis.

[@orielwiggins2225]

@@DeathnoteBB I agree that sometimes that's what is being referred to, but more often Narcissism and narcissistic and even narcissist are used to describe a group of character traits, not a diagnosis or disorder. Similar to introvert, agreeable or even antagonistic. There are several things, which in the case of narcissist usually adhere to some of the list of traits used in the diagnosis, combined which make up these types of characters. It's part of the dictionaries for a reason, and while I'm a big advocate of not over using or misusing terms, especially highly clinical ones (eg ocd, adhd, bipolar), there's a difference between NPD and narcissism, for a reason. It's short hand for a list of things like self centered, disagreeable, antagonistic, and manipulative (ongoing behaviors in a person who lacks self reflection and a willingness to change). We can't diagnose, but we can point out the character when we clearly see it and call it what it is, which is extremely helpful when it's considerately done, even publicly.

[@gemaster14]

I swear, these pick up artists and dating coaches have never actually met a woman. 🤦‍♀️

[@darcy5761]

Hard to meet women when you spend all day in moms basement telling other losers how to get women.

[@AnnekeOosterink]

Most of the time they just don't think women are human beings with thoughts and feelings. As evidences by that guy a few months back who admitted out loud in front of a camera that after 10 years of marriage he just now finally realised his wife was a person. And did a whole speech about it to celebrate himself and his realisation.

[@Wolfdette]

I have dated a lot before I found my boyfriend, and I noticed a certain trend in some of the guys I met (eerily similar Tinder profiles, same sort of replies etc) when I started googling I found a sort of dating coach telling how to get women. The funny thing is even before I found that I never felt interested or compelled to get to know them, so at least for me it absolutely didn't work

[@Sluppie]

People who sell self-help advice don't actually benefit from helping you, so they sabotage you instead to keep you in a state of perpetually needing help.

[@carnevalmefisto]

I'm afraid they did. And probably a lot. In opposite to this sh!t redpills are saying, 95% of women doesn't think of themselves as princesses that only deserve a castle and nothing less. There ale millions of women with low self esteem. Those are later involved with this kind of men. Don't go away when physical and mental abuse are present. "I'm lucky THIS man wanted me". If a girl was treated like cr@p at home by her parents (especially her father), manipulative and aggressive man is her perspective of "normal". She was taught during most of her life she doesn't deserve to be treated better. And manipulative men seek this exact type of women. And to be perfectly fair, men can be victims of domestic abuse from their partners and with the same mechanism "I'm still lucky to have her, maybe she pushes me, curses at me, but she's HOT and all my friends are jealous". I was once meeting a dude, it didn't come out and he turned me down, but he was very shy around women who were not his sisters or niece (actually his niece was my bestie, he was simply born much later than his older sisters, so he was just few years older than my best friend). Later his sister, mother of my friend, told me he was horribly treated by their mother (like literally mother forced him to pray NAKED, kneeling on pea seeds). This messed him up badly and didn't want to be involved with relatitionship.

[@saragates2255]

It's like these weirdos WANT to find people they are incompatible with and end up unhappy just so long as they feel THEY are in control...

[@grmpEqweer]

Yes.

[@pennyforyourthots]

I think the thing is, they don't realize that incompatibility exists (at least, the type of people to consume this content probably don't). Because they primarily focus on sex as the primary form of intimacy in a relationship, combined with their idealization of toxic masculinity that emphasizes that a woman should always submit themselves to a man, in their world as long as a woman can have sex and won't talk back, there's no such thing as incompatibility. Of course, we live in the real world and realize that that's a terrible way to live and an awful thing to believe. I think one thing control is definitely part of it, but I think that's more subconscious. In the conscious part of their brain, I think they've just completely bought into the lie of "traditional family values" and genuinely believed that the stereotype of the 1950s was how reality worked.

[@AnnekeOosterink]

They're not looking for a compatible partner though, they are looking for a sex doll who has been manipulated and gaslit into doing what they want. They're looking for a victim.

[@DeathnoteBB]

It’s more the grifters who make the videos want that for their viewers, so their audience never leaves and they have a consistent audience. Their audience is being manipulated.

[@Sluppie]

What... are you saying that this guy teaching others to be manipulative might be a manipulator himself? Say it ain't so! I don't believe it!

[@thecaptainsnark]

These men are projecting SO hard. "If she really likes you, then you will be less attractive to her." Buddy that is NOT how that works. It is in fact, the opposite of how that works for people who know how to have a healthy relationship.

[@justinemot2282]

I agree on projection! But also - there are women who do think like this "mentor" says. For example - me as a teenager. It's never about real human connection but more about weird social status games. This often can be found in narcissistic partners, even those who are not narcissists - when some one attaches theist vale to their partner - i'm with hot, then my value rises, etc. That's not how a certain gender works - what he's describing is a psychological problem. So why would I ever pursue such a date, who would only like me if I constantly undermine him or her? This would be painful for a healthy person. But for co-dependent partnerships that's just perfect

[@Noemi-u2m]

Exactly. The best ones are the ones that let you know how much they value you and how lucky they feel to be with you, and show it with their actions. That goes both ways.

[@Noemi-u2m]

Men who behave like this are red flags. Very unattractive.

[@nickorange4881]

Yes exactly

[@nickorange4881]

​@@Noemi-u2m yes exactly that's what I was thinking. Both should think each other is awesome.

[@dragonabsurda]

I find it hilarious that some guys will complain that the pressure to initiate usually falls on them (which is a valid concern), but then "dating coaches" will tell guys to turn a woman down if a woman does take the pressure off them and ask them out. 🙄

[@chaitanyagupta6668]

That's why you don't form views based on social media. You know damn well men ain't turning women who asked them down unless they look like grinch or are already committed. If anything, it's usually women who tell other women to not be easy.

[@castrinecubique983]

Professional victims in action. Nothing women do or don't is ever good enough for them. Fine, let them stay single. We won't be bothered by them, they won't reproduce, win/win all around!

[@AG-vh3lx]

😂🤣🤣tell me bout it !! I feel part of it stems from the fact that they don't like themselves which is why they feel If some woman shows any genuine interest in them they think its all fake !! Also they feel immensely emasculated!! Cz they like to complain they gotta initiate but when actually the situation is turned around they sort of see that as a revenge scenario🥲😐instead of viewing it as an actual opportunity to explore their dating options ! I know no one owes you any attraction or to reciprocate it ( but the way most men react is in such a demonic way that it's better to avoid the sitaution)

[@walking_the_gyre]

If my husband had done any of this, I would have moved on. Don't want nobody who don't want me.

[@OhWell307]

Idk why people think playing hard to get is attractive. If you're always saying no, and always playing games that's such a turn off.

[@sluttyMapleSyrup]

Right?! If I'm playing Hard To Get, then I'm not "playing" with you, I'm just not interested.

[@castrinecubique983]

Wanna hear the saddest part of it? Because it works on them.

[@Li8aGun92]

They'll call a woman who shows interes "easy"... behind their backs with their friends.

[@sluttyMapleSyrup]

@@Li8aGun92 Which is weird AF

[@Li8aGun92]

@@sluttyMapleSyrup it makes me afraid to try to trust men

[@pixelrancher]

Nothing feels better than being tricked. I wanna talk with every woman this guy has dated.

[@moxiebombshell]

Bold of you to assume there are any 😏

[@cassandrav4358]

@@moxiebombshell 🤣

[@darcy5761]

It's a pretty short list ,men like this mostly sit in moms basement pretending to be an expert on women.

[@bossyboots5000]

​@moxiebombshell I love your username! And you delightfully deliver on it 😂

[@moxiebombshell]

@@bossyboots5000 Aw shucks, you make a girl blush 😅

[@jacijune]

I dated a guy who acted like he was a prize and I was a piece of shit once. I didn't know the term narcissist at the time but I knew the situation seemed off. It quickly ended. It never got to the intimate stage but it left me messed up for months after. It also left me extremely cautious, skeptical and good at recognizing these idiots for who they are so I can move on quickly before it gets too serious.

[@orielwiggins2225]

So glad you got away and it didn't end worse, but your experience highlights just how evil and damaging it is.

[@coolbreeze5683]

It's funny how after #2, Prof is in another shirt and it's daylight like that pick up artist guy's advice gave him a such headache that he had to go take a shower and a long nap in order to get through the rest of the video 😂

[@coolbreeze5683]

@@catxtrallways exactly 😆 it was so icky that he needed a shower listening to it

[@minecraftingmom]

How did all these men find The Rules and decide to make gender-swapped videos about it?

[@user-uy8xf9tm5h]

I was wondering about that too!

[@MKPiatkowski]

@@minecraftingmom That's the name of that book! I was trying to remember.

[@elphieofkiamoko]

LOL I came here to say the same thing!!

[@ashassassin]

If a guy acts like he isn't into me I assume he isn't. If I don't hear compliments and interests in me, I'm not gonna date you again. So glad I dated a lot in high-school and college, it allowed me to get a feel for the genuine vs the bs. If there are any young women listening, please please date, and date a lot. Don't get into relationships right away, maintain friendships when you do.

[@Tashishi0]

Let's see... I met a guy once that I really clicked with. Talked his ear off for hours. Met him again on the very next night. We ended up spending 36 hours straight together, and didn't sleep because we were so wired on each other's energy. No sexy times, either, just open communication and he stayed with me while I worked on a painting for one of my college art classes. He even went to a couple of classes with me. No games, no manipulations, we just wanted to be together. Fast forward - we recently had our 25th anniversary and have been together 30 years now, and counting. We still say thank you to each other, even for doing chores. We genuinely appreciate what each of us does, and try to express that and the love we have for each other daily. We still have at least 1 weekly date night. We're not up in each other's business constantly, but let each other know when we need space - either for work or just recharging (we're both introverts). If he'd played any of these games, we wouldn't be together today.

[@Danni317]

I work in aged care as a agency travel carer. Ive cared for a couple who have recently celebrated their 70th wedding anniversary and are still happily married. They didnt follow any of this advice.

[@TheKrispyfort]

#1 - intelligence gathering, #2 - treat them mean, keep them keen, #3 - artificially inflate value, #4 - touch into the FOMO, and #5 - limited time offer Market yourself as something with low availability and high demand, and artificially increase the attractiveness of being partnered with you. "Treat her the way you refuse to be treated" The Ex (pronounced 🤢) used these, and more Buyer beware

[@LunaVioletta7]

Lol this is an underrated comment

[@abiean222]

is it ironic that most of the men who do this are the type who objectify women and yet they objectify themselves by thinking this way?

[@unicorn73212]

It's kind of a predators manual when you look at it because being a dirt bag only works on women for so long they do it to younger women the most because they know her brain is going through a development faze so it makes it harder on her to detect why he's acting that way. But if you read it as an adult and you look back on the way these men used to talk to you then you will not be more attracted to these guys they will become a target and you will just be cold to him and rude back. It's the only way to get him to leave because if he doesn't like being treated that way then it would probably scare him out of the bar. Being rude back is a very good reverse tactic to repel a predator.

[@OGimouse1]

This is the best summary of these tactics I've EVER seen!

[@twistedmyth5860]

Yeah, I rarely buy limited edition stuff because I refuse to buy stuff in the heat of the moment.

[@Bondockable]

NO ONE is the Prize! You can be gifts to each other but thats it.

[@Danka42]

Gotta love how this kind of guys will tell you: "Lie, and keep on lying forever"

[@coolbreeze5683]

Because they know they only have to keep up the lie until they get what they want from you (and we all know what that is).

[@abiean222]

@@coolbreeze5683 if its sex, that is like so much effort for so little gain. there are women out there who want to have sex without a relationship. if its marriage, then lol, thats years of effort and lying that will all be for nothing the second they let their mask drop. more and more women aren't scared to just leave a marriage when its built on lies now-a-days.

[@coolbreeze5683]

@@abiean222 if a guy is listening to a pick up artist for advice, it's likely he's not looking for a long term relationship. He's probably someone who likes the thrill of the chase and uses manipulation tactics to get what he wants. There are guys who fly around the world just for s*x so their craziness can't be underestimated. Once he gets that, the thrill of the chase is gone, he ghosts or comes up with an excuse to leave and moves on to the next woman.

[@orielwiggins2225]

​@@coolbreeze5683sadly this is true. And there are so many better things to spend money on that trips around the world for sex, but it's the dominance and I pulled one over on you and I can Manipulate and then drop you, power trip. It's very sad.

[@the_Royal_Crow]

​@@abiean222 Sure they could get casual sex with much less effort but you have to remember that they think a woman is pretty much worthless unless she is virgin. If they just had casual sex with a woman it means someone else could too and they are way too possessive for that.

[@ladykatza]

I married my husband because he loved and cherished me more than anyone else ever had. My father didn't think he was attractive enough for me and never understood my reasons. Here I am 26 years later

[@tinkeramma]

Looks fade. Character grows.

[@deborahdanhauer8525]

Manipulation is never a good idea. It doesn’t matter how far into the relationship she is, when the woman finds out you’ve been manipulating her, (and she WILL find out) the relationship is over. Then you have wasted a lot of your time and hers for nothing.

[@missnaomi613]

True!

[@LibertyCairde]

Not to mention how hurt and devastated she will be once she figures it out 😭 these lies HURT innocent people

[@deborahdanhauer8525]

@@LibertyCairde Absolutely! She will lose all trust in that man, and probably all men at least for a time.😔

[@heidim7732]

These guys don't value her time or anything else about the woman.

[@orielwiggins2225]

​@@heidim7732bingo.

[@megdelaney3677]

Pretend to be someone you're not. Got it.

[@cecynor]

Some people are very manipulative and then don't understand why potential partners run from them...

[@spookysugar]

So I'm assuming green screened skyscraper dude is in a long, healthy and loving relationship, right? That's how he got all those tips, right? And he isn't chasing validation from casual sex and angrily staring down men comfortable with themselves having successful relationships, RIGHT?

[@cashwalk7253]

I’m sure he’s been married for at least 40 years.

[@castrinecubique983]

I had one date with a guy like that once. Poor lil butthurt baby felt the need to contact me and tell me he's in a serious relationship months after our only date. What a sad little insecure weirdo.

[@c.g.bspendersashtray3037]

@@castrinecubique983 - Wait, that's why they do that? I have had 5 different men contact me on social media DECADES after I went on a couple of dates with them. They all told me they were about to get married. I didn't get it. Now, albeit sad, it makes sense. Why, oh why, couldn't they have been decent men who treat women with dignity back when I wanted them?? That's rhetorical. I know why. They actually haven't changed because if they had, they wouldn't be contacting me out of the blue just before they were going to get married. Their poor wives.

[@castrinecubique983]

@@c.g.bspendersashtray3037 it's sadder even... if they are really getting married, they are contacting you in hopes they cheat on their fiancée with you, or at least try to make you chase them now that they're unavailable.

[@SheilaR.08]

Oh, boy. All the games and tricks are so dumb. But I have to say that I love how you sneak in the clip of your wife singing. Your love and support for her is beautiful to see. 😂

[@grmpEqweer]

This man adores his wife. That's so gay. (Joking)

[@abiean222]

the thing about doing these kind of manipulative tactics to get a girl and keep her, is that you have to do these things for the rest of your life with her. you can't just present a false persona and then reveal the real you once you get married. if you do that, she'll just leave you. she'll see that you aren't the person she married and fell in love with and she'll leave. you would have put in the years of effort, pretending to be someone you aren't, for nothing. and if you are pulling these kind of things to get a one night stand or fuck buddy, why? why go into so much effort for something you can easily get by just being up front? there are women out there who want to have sex but don't want relationships dudes - you just need to go looking for them and be honest about it. its just insane to me to go looking for designer clothes in a hardware store.

[@Acehigh-Jenkins]

Also a lot of women go into these relationships thinking they can change the man eventually realise they can’t and leave. Then the blokes are “blind sided” when they leave and end up dying alone with kids that never visit! Or worse they gradually improve learning things from each subsequent relationship and eventually become a decent person but leave a string of emotionally scarred and broken women “learning tools” in their wake! SMDH!!

[@jelatinosa]

The thing is, they want to sleep with the ones who want a relationship, not the ones who just want sex, because they view women who want sex or easily "give up" sex as lesser than garbage.

[@bossyboots5000]

​@@jelatinosabingo! It's such an archaic, misogynist view. That's last-century bs

[@QUEERVEEART]

@@jelatinosawhich is so bizarre cause the men just want sex. but don't think less of themselves. they desire what they hate

[@msshellm8154]

Yeah ... a real "prize" 🙄 Thank-you, I am SO okay with him walking away ... SO OKAY 🤦🏻‍♀️

[@andreacollum7887]

If the dude makes it to #5, he's GONNA lose her, because she's sick of his stupid games!

[@deborahmatatall]

I always wonder about these guys and why they think they’re qualified to give this awful dating advice. Thank you Speech Prof for highlighting this vicious ridiculousness.🌸

[@DeathnoteBB]

They’re grifters. They don’t need to be qualified, they make money by manipulated men into paying them for “courses” and crap

[@strangertobluewater]

The craziest part of this advice is that women who are abuse survivors will be receptive to these tactics, and then they will continue the abuse with the new partner, reinforcing the abusers idea that all women are broken and receptive to these techniques. I’m a firm believer in nice guy/gal strategies. If the person isn’t receptive to kindness, affection and authenticity they probably aren’t ready to date. Treat them with respect, stay friends, or wish them well as you go your separate ways.

[@bossyboots5000]

I said this same thing in another post. This advice is deeply disturbing when viewed from that point.

[@tinkeramma]

At 14, I let the guy I was crushing on know I had a crush on him. He wasn't interested. At 39, he's still my friend because I genuinely like him as a human and kept up a friendship when romance wasn't an option. One of the most meaningful relationships of my life and it started with being rejected and accepting it.

[@thevision4734]

I remember when I dated this girl and she kept telling me I seemed very relaxed. And I said yeah this is just who I am. And she kept saying how relaxed I was and I kept saying yeah this is just who I am. And we finally started talking about how she had practice for this date and had gone so dressed up and has been two and a half to 3 hours getting ready for this date, had practice certain lines in her head of what to tell me and how to say things and even her voice and story she was going to share with me and try to make me laugh. And I just wanted her to be herself. I just wanted to get to know who she was and I've had these discussions with many women now. I want to know who they are I don't want to have them be somebody they're not because if we're going to click we're going to click. I don't want to engage with somebody who's not authentic and congruent and then find out that there's somebody else. Just be yourself. Guys do this because they're trying to get laid but this advice that this guy is sharing isn't any good for any type of long-term relationships

[@darcy5761]

Or even a short term one

[@bossyboots5000]

That sounds extreme, I think there was a mental health issue at work there. Severe social anxiety, ocd, trauma, something. Bc I've never had any of my female friends talk about doing this kind of planning. It sounds like someone didn't trust their social skills, or had a disorder that caused them to plan things to the minutiae. Must be frustrating to have encountered multiple women in a dynamic where they had excessive people pleasing and insecurity. Perhaps you've met so many bc you're an easy person to talk to or make people feel safe. So you'd attract more women with trauma issues.

[@jj4774ns-te5px]

She was socially anxious, that's all. Probably very disapproving parents. I feel for her... 😢

[@jltdqw]

I wonder, if he doesn’t get dizzy from all of this manipulation games? Then men wonder why we have the “longly man epidemic”? Man loves to play games and women got tired of it. Men grow up, life is not a sitcom.

[@rizahawkeyepierce1380]

It's both a symptom and an exacerbating factor - men seek out this kind of advice because they're lonely and desperate, but this kind of behavior doesn't make them any less lonely

[@chaitanyagupta6668]

Are you sure the lonely man epidemic is not because of women choosing the same men over and over as shown in dating apps ?

[@c.g.bspendersashtray3037]

@@chaitanyagupta6668 - No, and that doesn't make sense. Think about it. How many men do you know who have more than one wife or serious partner? If women were "choosing the same men over and over" then we'd be seeing polygamy everywhere.

[@chaitanyagupta6668]

@@c.g.bspendersashtray3037 polygamy already exists like that. Not in the way you think. Small amount of men have access to many women. Left over men get those are women once the women realise prince charming isn't gonna choose her.

[@chaitanyagupta6668]

@@c.g.bspendersashtray3037 that's the truth. I do not make the rules

[@staind.raindrop]

So this basically implies that every reaction and decision she makes is something he can take credit for. And they think no one will notice. It might work with women who are also transactional, but not if you want love.

[@cupcakesimulation]

If the guy I texted 2 years ago asking to hang out had said just "no" outright, I probably would have never asked again. Luckily that didnt happen and I'm very happy to have him as both my best friend and the love of my life.

[@yami-131]

On the "Don't cancel your plans", there is a good point to bring up about it. If you are not willing to cancel your plans, don't do it out of an expectation that she would like you more because of it. Unbalanced expectations that are not based on the reality of your relationship, breed a frustration that is unfair and unreasonable. That is how things like the idea of the "Friendzone" come to be, because you did things that you didn't necessarily want to do, due to your expectation that it will lead to a more intimate and romantic relationship, and so you think they owe you for that.

[@hldo00]

The only issue is that the guy said to say no ALWAYS, wether or not you have something planned or could be available or are willing to be available, because it’s more about looking unavailable and unattainable than anything else 😂

[@yami-131]

@@hldo00 Yeah... Those games are BS. Maybe if you're looking to "score" but certainly can't be foundation of a relationship.

[@hldo00]

@@yami-131 lol yeah, but “score” what in the end? Score nothing tbh 🤣

[@yami-131]

@@hldo00 couldn't agree more

[@yugoxgc]

"You're the prize" Yes, cause that attitude worked out SO WELL for women. I bet it will be just as good for men. ALSO You know telling her no to invitations & pretend to be disinterested might REALLY work... & make her think you aren't interested in her so she'll find a guy that IS interested in her

[@A_T216]

Wow, these people who give and take this advice - to lie forever to the people you want to keep close, to constantly be alert for power plays to make - must be so tired and sad. Tired and sad to turn to this, and/or tired and sad to continue choosing this tactic. I'm really having a moment thinking about how fucking *melancholy and unsatisfied and upset* I'd have to be to be motivated to do even a little bit of this. This is breaking my brain a little bit.

[@leavemealone802]

I Love how he starts off with "have a normal and healthy conversation with someone, that will make her obsessed with you " as if being a normal member of society is revolutionary lol Listen to this guy and you will end up alone

[@darcy5761]

Sitting in moms basement wondering why you can't get a date. Just like him.

[@Asongbook]

Is this The Rules but for men? As a gen X, let me assure you, The Rules were....batshit.

[@wartgin]

Yes they were but these are actually versions of pick up artist techniques which I believe predated The Rules (at least the printing of the book since I suddenly remembered that at least some of the rules were taught to girls in the 1950s or earlier). They keep passing the same manipulative tips around and around. I'm reminded of the Cyzor video where he talks about men using these techniques and/or trying to perform masculinity are like students using a stolen answer key for a test but the key was given to them by their dads for a test that their grandfathers took and has no connection whatsoever to the test being taken today.

[@darcy5761]

But but the nasty virgin living in his mother's basement says these are sure fire methods!

[@Asongbook]

​@@wartgin the rules e were taught we also about 50% bogus, but The Rules was that book published in th 90s. I was married a year by then. I gave them a once over and laughed.

[@Chibi-kittenplays]

what.. would I do without you proffessor. Without you I would lose hope in mankind. And . .I truly mean. .MANkind. That that hope is very frail to start with .Thank you for being such an amazing rolemodel that has the energy to tell people how stupid these ideas are when women are just ..busy banging their heads against the wall in dispair that some people think like this.

[@Cheezbuckets]

“Dating advice” guys really approach the world like all women have an ongoing math equation in their head adding and subtracting “attraction” points to all potential mates and rivals and themselves based on every single word and action in a simple and predictable manner and will only respond to potential mates above a measurable threshold that these dudes can calculate for you, AND that the best way to reach the threshold is not with genuine self-reflection and -improvement but by lowering her standards by making her feel like trash.

[@wartgin]

Good summation of the attitudes and techniques.

[@JenniferElizabeth311]

Every guy should aspire to be just like you, fr.

[@muriel5826]

I would like my daughters to meet guys just like him.

[@alysoffoxdale]

Thank you, Prof, for being a voice of sanity on the internet.

[@robertascazzari4016]

Man, I still can't belive I got better dating advice from my very conservative father, who still thinks as we live in 1824, than this so called "dating coachs" 😂

[@maam-yj8ph]

You should share his insights if you feel so inclined.

[@robertascazzari4016]

@@maam-yj8ph One is: never understimate the lenght a man will go to pursue the One he truly loves. If he keeps making excuses even for something simple like go out for a coffee date, he's for the street

[@celiashen5490]

@@robertascazzari4016 I don't know why, this actually made me feel better about the world.

[@ImNotaRussianBot]

​@@robertascazzari4016Good advice. A person who has deep emotion and passionate commitment is just a better quality person who is always looking for someone "better" and wishy washy about their emotions.

[@joeshmoe0136]

These are the kinds of men who get dumped "out of nowhere. " and end up angry, bitter and alone. But,hey. These malr "dating coaches" have to get their income from somewhere right?

[@EmoBearRights]

Or they deduce their partners traded them in for an 'alpha' when it was just some dude who treated them like a person.

[@darcy5761]

Yeah,it's always the woman's fault that they got dumped not their own gigantic loserdom.

[@huananina]

THIS 👍🏻​ @@EmoBearRights

[@sisuguillam5109]

Why would I want someone to be obsessed with me? Relationships do not work when someone lost track of reality.

[@loner844]

1) shows no interest 2) shows no gratitude 3) shows you're self-absorbed 4) shows low priority 5) shows no interest and low priority All of these are red flags 🚩

[@IONAPINKMOXIE]

This depends on what type of woman he wants. If he wants the type of woman who is sincere, loving and supportive, how is it so hard to just balance? Don't call her incessantly but don't not call her because some dude on the internet said so. 🤦🏼‍♀️

[@yeahbutthendragons152]

"If you aren't strong man with no nice feelings she will not respect you". He says that stuff so matter of factly. Where is your research, sir? Are you thinking perhaps of animals that are just looking to have babies that won't die to a stronger foe? If you want anything other than sex from a relationship you have to act like more than a primitave animal

[@AnnekeOosterink]

And even many animals that do any kind of longer term partnering (or just a sperm donation) aren't just looking for the strongest partner that exists. Hermit crabs are actively hindered by their giant shears, but that's a metric the species landed on as desirable.

[@redcurrantart]

So there’s this 1971 spell book that says you can entice a woman with a price of cheese... Still better than what this guy is peddling.

[@schokoloko2092]

I mean, I love cheese!

[@CrimsonNemesis]

I would totally go for cheese tho

[@Acehigh-Jenkins]

Women love cheese! I mean look at the girl dinner trend!

[@JWildberry]

If a guy told me that he once read a spell book from 1971 that said you can do that, then offered me cheese, I would be enticed.

[@sluttyMapleSyrup]

Women and white people do love cheese... Source: I am both

[@_negentropy_]

This is an excellent reminder why I love not dating.

[@spirals73]

No kidding. I hate it. It feels like a job interview and then there are the ones who can't make up their minds.

[@miriam4235]

This sounds like he made this up when he was 12 year old boy in his basement with his 12 year old friends. He just never actually learned to deal with people. Just stayed in his basement fantasising.

[@southsider9638]

These "dating rules" are so stupid.

[@thetimekeeper955]

_"These might be a little manipulative, but they work."_ Good of him to state that he thinks manipulating a (potential) partner is okay. I'm sure he'd be totally fine with it if some woman manipulated him in a similar way to what he's suggesting be done to a woman. _"She has to choose to be in that relationship with you."_ But is _she_ really choosing if you're baiting her into doing what you want? Or is it actually that you're choosing yourself on her behalf?

[@winkyhere8697]

You're sooo right... May I suggest 2 *alternative* titles to whatever that dude's actually offering up? Here goes... 1) "How to *Avoid* an Emotionally *Healthy* Adult Who'll Expect *You* to Be the *Same"* *OR* "How to Find a *Broken* Gal to *Abuse* as Much as You May Wish (Because You're *Too Effed-Up* Yourself to Form *Healthy* Bonds With Other Humans)" 😧

[@leavoda3791]

Respect has to be anchored in trust and has to be earned by reciprocity. Loving someone excludes transactional and manipulative behaviour.

[@cassandrav4358]

This must be where all my exes got their advice from. 😂 This is awful!!

[@Gulgathydra]

_"Don't smother her."_ *Actually good advice.* I have lost many a girlfriend after they woke up to me pressing a pillow down over their face. And more than one who did not wake up when I did it. Smothering your girlfriend is a good way to lose your girlfriend. 😢

[@CrimsonNemesis]

Lmao yeah go easy on the smothering😂

[@undefinederror40404]

Bro what 😂😅

[@Biiku_]

That's... one way to interpret that message... 😂

[@TF_Tony]

This is the most ingenius pickup artist I've seen: "If she invites you on a date, say no."

[@Placidtrip]

“How to trigger her anxious attachment”

[@Jasonluv-r7b]

More like avoidant

[@nathalie_desrosiers]

To be fair, the last advice was excellent: "Accept to be rejected" (I'm rephrasing here). Because if you follow all the other advice, you *will* be rejected. Any self-respected woman will not put up with these games.

[@Axqu7227]

My husband wasn’t used to being doted on before we started dating and his genuine gratitude for every nice gesture I did for him just made him more attractive. I’d never had a guy appreciate me so much and it feels GOOD to know how happy I make him! Doing nice things for him is a joy because it makes him visibly happy!

[@beccaa5086]

The second someone is playing "games" and using "tactics", I'm out. I may be too upfront or "myself" right away, but that will work for the person who I am supposed to be with.

[@CorwinFound]

These tactics work... for people who have nothing of value to offer. If you are an inconsiderate, insecure individual who sees women as objects, well yeah, you're gonna have to resort to tactics like these. And they _will_ be more successful than just being yourself. A crappy person.

[@ThePsychicClarinetist]

Wow, some of the men giving advice to others are really giving pampered prince who can't get/hold a marriage/commitment. 😬 Thank you for reminding men to stay humble, down to earth, and understanding of women as humans. 🧡 It's a damn shame some people don't know that by now, but alas the year 2024 doesn't seem to mean anything if the progressive are the only ones who progress. 😞

[@ThePsychicClarinetist]

@@catxtrallways Thank you! I've been playing clarinet for 12 and a half years and I have one degree (and a second on the way) in music performance for it. 😁 I named myself this back when I was only 2 and a half years in, so it's been a decade. 😌 Cello is a beautiful instrument. 🧡 One of my college friends was a cellist. She's unfortunately no longer with us, though I am grateful for the exposure to the instrument and her playing, she was amazing. If you want to know how I came up with the nickname, I'll gladly tell. Thank you for sharing! I appreciate your comment. 😊🎶

[@jengsci8268]

Twist - So this guy gives bad advice to others so there would be more women available for him because the guys taking his advice keep striking out. Well he did say it was a little manipulative. 😆

[@ThePsychicClarinetist]

@@catxtrallways Alrighty! So, the "Clarinetist" part is basically already covered in my last comment, it's my instrument and I love it (though practicing, not so much, LOL). The "Psychic" part has two origins. 1) I refer to myself as "Psychic" because for the year before I named myself that, I started getting visions. Not anything super glamorous, but I'd get visions of a random moment in the future and I'd see it through my eyes, be able to hear/notice my thoughts within it, and observe what was going on around me. When it would eventually happen in real life, it was like deja vu but so specific that I knew it hadn't happened the same way twice IRL. For example, some visions come to me years in advance. I got a vision about college during high school, and totally forgot until I experienced it IRL. It's a weird phenomenon and not scientifically prove-able, so I don't blame peeps who don't believe me. Though my father said him and other members of his side of the family have experienced them too... I still don't have a proper word for the phenomenon, so I just think of it as a "psychic" ability. I don't have control over it, I typically forget it right after I see them, they usually occur as daydreams and sometimes during dreams, but typically the former. 2) I LOVE the game series Kingdom Hearts. At the time, I was obsessed with Organization XIII (a villain group made up of "Nobodies", it's a whole lore thing), and each member has a title that fits them. For example, "The Superior of the Inbetween", "The Flurry of Dancing Flames", "The Melodious Nocturne", etc. So, to fit that theme, I gave myself my own title: "The Psychic Clarinetist". Removed the spaces, and there's my username. Thanks for inquiring! 😁

[@ThePsychicClarinetist]

@@jengsci8268 Wow! Horrible, but I wouldn't put it past him. 🤭 Life is just a game to some people, and while I get it, it's sad that they involve others - unknowingly and unwillingly - in it.

[@HelennaRose]

@@ThePsychicClarinetistI believe you! I have had these random moments happen to me too. All my life. ❤

[@Justsayin2000]

I’ll take being single over being manipulated. 👏

[@miriamwhite9688]

It's all true I stopped finding my partner attractive when it turned out we both felt lucky to have each other, it was devastating and now 7 years on we just stay together for the sake of the rabbit

[@kathrynd.3789]

"For the sake of the rabbit" I'm not sure why this is so funny 😅😂

[@thatcasualdragon2975]

"Are you my dad?" killed me. Also that you went to every one of your wife's shows, my heart!

[@baronvonsatan]

"manipuTaLive" bro you can't even manipulate your own mouth to make the words come out right

[@spirals73]

😆

[@pinkdaisy8948]

I was hoping someone else noticed that!

[@baronvonsatan]

I have been informed that creators do this now, on purpose, so that people will go into the comments and correct them. The engagement boost helps with the algorithm, or something. Fortunately, I did this here, and not on his video.

[@daniellev2901]

It may be a “little” manipulative. WTF 😳 Thank you Speech Prof for calling that dirt bag out!

[@yulebones]

I read a reddit post by a guy who was desperate for advice. He'd started using "tactics" like these to "increase his value" in the eyes of his girlfriend, who he had been with for over TWO YEARS already. Unsurprisingly it took about two weeks for her to completely remove him from her life. He even told her why he'd been acting that way, and it made her even angrier. Guys? Don't take this kind of advice. There's a reason it's all coming from dating gurus and not marriage gurus - and that's because they're all so disrespectful that none of them can keep a woman long enough for the relationship to matter.

[@e.458]

"Are you my dad?" I felt that in my heart!

[@annewhite3482]

So, men and women play hard to get now? Most women will see through this crap.

[@zigzagperson]

Love how you needed a break from this in the middle

[@redarrw1633]

Crazy idea, Maybe he's saying all this try to make other guys as unappealing as possible. It's the only logical reason i could think as to why he'd give such "advice", pure relationship repellant.

[@TheKrispyfort]

The Woody Allen movie where he tries to kill off the global population of attractive and intelligent men so he becomes the most attractive of the survivors

[@LibertyCairde]

It’s so cruel that they teach naive men this and then wonder why they shoot places up when they can’t get a slave, I mean girlfriend

[@carolbetarello]

If she needs to check her calendar, say no to going out. If she asks you on a date, say no to going out. Ok, when are they supposed to date? I’m lost. 😂

[@JimmieHammel]

There was a terrible book called The Rules when I was in college, basically, ALL of this advice, but directed at women... Lol... Can't we just like each other? I mean... Do you want to marry a person who would have ghosted you if you paid them a compliment? 😂😂😂

[@melissashiels7838]

That's exactly what stood out to me too - this is just The Rules, but aimed at guys. I'm surprised he didn't say "cultivate an air of mystery, that you're a creature like no other".

[@heidim7732]

I was already married when I heard about these Rules, but you're right! It was already too late for me, my husband and I liked and respected each other too much to play games about it. Seems so much simpler.

[@kimilynP]

I am convinced that these men don't actually like woman. Like i knew they don't see women as people, but i don't think they even like women at all. I just- why do you want to date someone who thinks you don't like them??

[@Acehigh-Jenkins]

Someone I heard once say some men were raised to hate women, only love/like men. But they were raised to love and fetishise va jey jey. So they think of women as a walking va jey jey with annoying extra bits like humanity that they can just ignore or are a obstacle to be gotten over. It’s basically they tragedy or these men’s lives they can’t just be gay and get everything from men!

[@bossyboots5000]

I have seen & heard this sentiment numerous times. That these men really only want male companionship and male validation, they don't like women. But they need women for sex, then are resentful at the woman for it and become even more misogynistic. For many people to come to this same conclusion it says to me there's something there

[@awfuldynne]

Their concept of masculinity requires them to be "studs", so they can't accomplish masculinity without women. But their dismissal of the idea that women could have anything to offer apart from status among their misogynist friends and their apparent belief that making deep connections with other human beings is "feminine" _kind of_ hobbles their dating success. (and this makes them vulnerable to the Tyler Durdens of the world)

[@jenniferzyren7521]

OMG The Rules are back! 😂😂😂😂 That dating book written for women in the early 00s- all this comes from that! 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 Things literally do come back around. (That book was bonkers dating advice too, except the part where you should have a life outside of your date/dating life)

[@kallax7172]

Everyone needs to show more love and appreciation for others. Vulnerability and kindness are key. If that scares someone off then that is their problem.

[@thebeardedlady76]

“Are you my dad?” Wow that hit hard.

[@katietoole8345]

Funnily enough, a lot of this advice was given to women in the 90s in books like The Rules. One day, we'll learn that EITHER party playing games and being manipulative is shitty.

[@minombreesminombre4878]

How to be an avoidant in a relationship 101… The thing is, he’s right. It might “work”. But if it does, you’re not ok, and the other person isn’t ok either. Your brokenness just fit together, but not in a good way (avoidant personalities and anxious personalities often do). If you do care genuinely about each other, it will take a lot of work and time for each of you to learn how to show up in a relationship in an authentic way.

[@ASHLEYSHEHADA]

I love you Speech Professor. If the world were full of men like you, I don't believe we would have the wars and destruction like we do now. Thank you for being awesome. And for everyone out there arguing over who the prize is in the relationship, this contributes to the divorce rate. This narrative alone that someone in the relatioship is superior over the other person, historically doesn't work. When either person in a relationship is worshipped as if they are a prize, the ego will always win. The ego loves recognition and praise and becomes addicted when given too much. Then what happens, much like an addict who cannot handle being sober, the ego cannot handle any criticism. This becomes a recipe for disaster. We are all human, we all make mistakes at times and need to be held accountable. If the ego is convinced it's a prize and worshipped excessively, it will not be able to identify when it is behaving badly. The self-awareness aspect will be overshadowed by the ego, and the humanity of the individual fades. And no one wants to be in a relationship with someone who has lost their humanity. In my relationship with my husband, we are more to one another than a silly prize to be won. In a world full of hate, greed, destruction and suffering, he is my safe place and I am his.

[@fuchsialocks592]

The Keith Raniere of dating coaches. Also, he seems to be wearing a wedding ring. His poor wife. Blink twice if you need us to come get you.

[@lizzymueller3604]

Wow, now I really want to know the face of that wish-pickupartist when he asks at the morning if she is availlable this evening and she says "no" because she a) sees through his game and b) has her own life and decides to instead spend the evening with people she really likes and who really like her to validade her own instead letting her be manipulated by someone who sees her as a trophy 😂

[@aimeeshatto9504]

Damn... there's always a BUT. I constantly hear about how the "Modern Woman" is too hard, too independent. Case in point.

[@Sluppie]

One thing I hate about advice like this is that it makes it harder for guys like me to give the hint that I'm genuinely not interested. People think I'm playing games when I'm actually being pretty straightforward. I just don't want to be rude about it.

[@yugoxgc]

I feel like what men need the most is explaining the difference between "Nice guy" & a guy that's nice. 1st & fore most don't avoid being nice. Be ACTUALLY NICE but not boring. Never do the "Nice guy" BS where you're polite as long as things go your way but switch into asshole cause your expectations weren't matched

[@debanikgoswami4834]

No, nice guys are the results of romantic movies , tv shows where it shows that there is one particular girl who he will won over one day . In reality dating is numbers game .

[@yugoxgc]

@@debanikgoswami4834 You expect me to believe that many boys watched rom-coms growing up? 🤨

[@caelodevorago608]

What I hate about this, is that the jackass has right "Titles" I guess you could say, to each point But they then just turn down the incel/Tate route Then again, some might fit certain people better than others. I had a partner who would drop her plans to spend time with me, but didn't expect me to do the same (I still did quite often) I had a different partner who hated it if I changed my plans for her, just as she wouldn't change her plans for me. It's almost like, your first date should be setting expectations and figuring out boundaries!

[@paolagrando5079]

If a guy behaves like that with me I'll say bye. What kind of relationship are they looking for?!?

[@katie6731]

I had to chuckle (one of those I'm-laughing-to-stave-off-despair laughs) when Mr. Mind Games said, "She has to choose you. She has to choose to be in that relationship with you," because every "rule" he laid out is about creating a facade of disinterest that obscures his student's personality, interests, natural behavior, communication style, etc. This isn't about two people getting to know each other to assess whether or not they're compatible to begin a romantic and/or sexual relationship. It's a list of instructions to create or exacerbate insecurities, and then prey on them. That's not a relationship, it's the foundation of emotional abuse. Beyond that, I have to wonder what kind of person wants to spend their time trying to live up to a set of manipulations; there's nothing authentic to build a connection.

[@adorkability]

If you get a partner by playing games, either they will grow to resent you or they too are into playing games. Either way, you're not going to have a healthy relationship.

[@k.c1126]

When you want to BE manipulative but can't even pronounce it 😂😂😂

[@inkygloves5197]

Guys, from experience: this doesn't work. If you don't treat me well or never say anything nice to me, I'm not going to want to be around you. You're not 'competing' with other men. You're 'competing' with my peace and quiet. I'm secure enough to not *need* any man in my life. You've gotta make being around you a pleasant experience, or I'm just gonna bail, because you're not a net positive in my life. Don't fret: I'll be nice to you, too. I'm like Toto from The Wizard of Oz: I'm really gentle. Around gentle people, that is. Also, if you're approaching this like some sort of con, you're already on the wrong track.