It's Still Bothering You! | SIGNS YOU'RE UNHEALED

In today’s video, I wanted to talk about healing because I believe that everyone is going through their own healing journey, whether they are fully aware of it or not. It's essential to understand that healing is far from a straightforward process; it's messy, filled with emotional ups and downs, and often feels like a roller coaster.
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[@fade2241]

Cliff Notes of the Signs - - Difficult to let go of emotions - Struggle with intrusive thoughts - Avoidant behavior - Struggle with Relationship issues - Codependency/Too Dependant on people - Emotional Numbing - Not Learning what closure is - Guilt & Blaming yourself Great Video as always Stephanie! The healing process is something I've written a book on and these are definitely signs. Keep up the great work ☺

[@NFSMAN50]

Signs you are unhealed. You are ruminating about the past, and get mad about it still. Sometimes it will creep up on you and put you in a bad mood, but we have to find the strength to overcome it and overpower it!!

[@sreejan8385]

Because of their insecurities they put us through so much hurtful situations … coming out of it takes a lot of mental effort that can’t be explained in words 😞🙏🏻

[@jeffvitrano8491]

I went my whole life not knowing about this deranged, twisted, evil mental disorder.. I was fooled, and betrayed.. I blame no one but myself. My situation was easy just boyfriend/girlfriend, I figured out her game pretty quick. I threw a match behind me instantly, blocked her every way, and Sunday 😂 I can pick out these twisted creatures in a crowd now.. It’s really, really hard to put the hate down, knowing you were deceived.. Thank you for your wisdom & guidance 🇮🇹🇮🇹💪🏿💪🏿

[@bushraabdullah3208]

Pointless to say, but I wish people just wouldn't put others in situations where they have to go through so much trauma then healing ☹️

[@gaurs230]

Super true so fucking true to the point dot why go through so much when you are unwilling to even not imagine yourself in that situation fear of abandonment these wounds exist somewhere very deep in my system and my soul

[@frederickcollins4534]

Good point, but, those types are covert and evil. Selfish and dont care about hurting others. In fact they feed of causing injury to others.

[@bushraabdullah3208]

@meri.dilkidhadkan yeah :( people don't realize how deep the wounds go and how much damage it can cause

[@bushraabdullah3208]

@@frederickcollins4534 i can't imagine how people get pleasure from hurting someone so much

[@gaurs230]

@@bushraabdullah3208 yeah true that they don’t even seem to care that much for us it could be life wrecking we might be dieing on the inside and they’re just playing with us on the outside

[@annasmith1427]

I find it helpful to forgive someone because they couldn’t be who I thought they were, and they don’t have the integrity level that I expected from them, so they can’t help what they did. I find that helpful to forgive them and I got there, inspiration and understanding from your video. Thank you

[@gillyslikejillysart7458]

Healing sure is a process. Thank you for shedding the light on something so many are going through is some way, shape or form❤❤❤.

[@coricalvert8216]

I had a huge overreaction when a guy cancelled a dinner with me. I couldn’t stop crying. I realized it was because I have been so used to being with someone that never did what they said they were going to do. I realized I have a limited belief that no one (especially men) will follow through. This is not true. It’s something I have to look at and work on.

[@ladennayoung2939]

I agree. Thanks for sharing. God bless. The joy of the Lord is you all's strength. ❤❤❤

[@anirudkshivaraja7191]

Am experiencing guilt, shame and resentment. All of these emotions is linked to heart center . When these emotions are suppressed and numbed it will cause chest pains, heavy heart and it weakens your body you could never imagine. Focus on releasing it . Doing my best to deal with it hope everyone heals their trauma and completely love themselves ❤ Thankyou:)

[@jamesweyman3821]

The mind. So powerful and forgotten; or used improperly. A few things came to mind when listening/watching this video. One is that healing takes time. My time is nit your time or her time; it's my time. Be loving with myself and the time it takes. Healing can be viewed as a dance partner. Sometimes, it takes time to bring your rhythms together. When they lock, it can be beautiful. And sometimes we get off beat. Keep dancing. Get out of my head with my thoughts. Journal, write poems or songs, participate in comments. Get it out. One day at a time. Forgiveness is big. I am processing forgiveness of myself and my last lover. Neither one of us are perfect. This thing called 'life' is a classroom; for me. We all have our lessons. Me, her, you; all of us. Same lessons, similar lessons, different lessons, different times for the lessons. I'd like to thank Stephanie for her videos. Thank you, Stephanie! For me, all there is, is love. All else is illusion. This goes back to the mind and the choices that we make with it. 💐

[@_cr8ive_]

✌🏻👋🏻😖 it feels like a never ending hell...😵‍💫🤦🏼‍♂️

[@AM-ut7dg]

Been trying to move on from a 6 year relationship that ended, it’s been nearly 2 years since the end and I’m STILL not over it. I don’t know what to do to move forward. Everyone tells me I’m doing all the right things and to keep moving forward but damn, I wish I could just be indifferent and content already. I’m so sick of feeling this way. And I’m haunted by the passing of time and how long this is taking because I’m concerned about my biological clock. I invested in this relationship because I thought it was the right thing and I thought I could avoid being in the situation I am in now. And now I wake up every day to my current situation and it makes me feel like a failure. I continue to blame myself for the position I’m in. It just sucks so much.

[@jackthere]

Do you pray?

[@dianep6335]

Yes, I was in a 6 year relationship too, and I thought he was a good decision. Been out of it for 3 years and it still feels like yesterday. One thing that helps some is to remember that I'm only missing what I wished he was, but not the actual reality of him. It just helps to keep my mind from running off on nostalgia, false memories, limerence--like staying grounded in reality. Also to remember this is a learning experience and perhaps that wisdom will make the next relationship better. We will be alright.

[@AM-ut7dg]

@@jackthere I do but not every day. Maybe I should do it more often. When I zoom out and look at things from a bigger picture I can see that I’ve made progress but I just want to be free from this already. If this person is truly not right for me then fine, what do I have to do to find the right one? I just don’t know and the uncertainty frightens me

[@ashleyl7016]

@@AM-ut7dgMaybe this will help. Write down what is bothering you; write down how you thought your life was going to be and how it is different from reality, be specific and be honest. Read it to yourself out loud and say at the end something like “I am working through this, I will let it go and work on being better.” Pray on it and have some grace with yourself. Sometimes what you thought your life was going to be is the total opposite once it gets started. Maybe your future partner will have a child, maybe adopt, foster parent or look into a surrogate. We literally learn as we go in life and you can’t really “plan” it. Pray for yourself to be better but pray for your future partner too and be specific on what you are asking for. Once you heal that part of yourself, you will attract different types of people.

[@Separo1]

For a start dont be harsh on yourself. I have found out the daily guided meditation and exercices help, identifying the triggers that cause my to go down the rabbit hole and preventing going there by acknowledge it and ask it to go (i imaging it to be a dark cloud and let the wind take car of it). I have been in this mental loop for 28 month and reading my daily journal of last year make me see that I am getting better. You will get there, just believe it

[@dame8896]

I'm a 40+ Year old Man who grew up with a Narcissistic Mother then got into a Relationship for 19yrs with a Narcissistic Woman who Discarded me for a Ex she never got over......I and Mentally Physically and Emotionally Drained. I Fight Everyday for Peace of Mind

[@matthewmcdermit8744]

You give great advice Stephanie. . . . And you are beautiful.

[@elenaamoisinei6021]

i thought i was healed, and after 3 years of being separated just seeing pics with his new wife made me hurt all over again...

[@gobigirl1]

Unfortunately, healing isn't a smooth steady upward process, there are zigs and zags, but just know that your ex won't magically turn into a better person for the new supply. For a while, most likely they will put on a big show of happiness, and that stage will probably feel like an eternity. But it is highly unlikely that they will transform into a kind, honest person. I hope you feel better again soon!

[@genesismorales1083]

You are not the only one. Going to the same. Sending hugs and prayers.

[@tonyg5132]

I really don’t know where else I’m going to find anyone again. I’m too anxious to go through dating apps and I’m not a bar person. I met the narcissist through work and now I have a remote job. This really feels like the end for me.

[@carec3268]

Amazing video, I was having intense Headache and believe it or not, after watching a couple of ur videos, I felt far better❤Also u are gorgeous

[@foolbritannia956]

Great advice, for people who are just starting their journey of self naturing and self love stay with it- To say it’s soooo worth it is a gross understatement ❤❤

[@malindateal14]

I totally get what you're saying here if I could just get the self-care down I would be really happy because self-care is huge. It's a game changer

[@heyoldman2003]

i’m just stuck with depression, apathy and just general funk . it’s been three years no contact but it was 40 years of her anger, rage and control.. i am much better but… i have no energy . thank you Stephanie you’ve helped me a lot👍🏼👍🏼👍🏼

[@steadypace1262]

You know when you are with a narcissist because your emotional, mental and physical energy plummets.🛌

[@CELESTIALBEAUTY]

💚I really loved watching, thank you. I REALLY needed to watch this video💚.

[@dianapalmer4185]

Thank you for this, so timely!

[@Sculsiveesi]

It’s the disappointment for me hurts so bad.

[@MazzolaSupply]

Once again thank you steph

[@chocolate70]

I process a lot of what’s happened to me in my sleep and I guess the nightmares are a part of that. THANK YOU for everything you’re doing and saying. It helps me in my healing process 💎.

[@adamlamparello8701]

This is excellent. All of your videos are very informative and have taught me so much about narcissism and the damage it causes. Thank you, Stephanie.

[@amylynn7881]

I still struggle so much with feeling guilt and succumbing to manipulation from my soon to be ex husband. My whole soul wants to be non responsive, non emotional, and not get pulled in to guilt from him. From anyone in life really.

[@positiveMindset665]

@@blackstorm69666whats funny here?

[@mohammedseedat59]

As always Your vids are soo enlightening thanks

[@daniellesullivan5]

Thank you for the course!!! It was extremely helpful ❤🤞🏾

[@kittykat632]

I personally dont think anyone can be truely "healed" from past trama. They say time heals all wounds, but what it actually does is just gives you space from that particular person who wounded you. Everyone will be wounded throughout their lifetime. It's all about learning from those wounds. Wounds always leave a scar, they are your reminder that it's OK to be mad that it's OK. To cry that it's OK to vent. But it's NOT ok to stay there. You can more past it but it will never be completely gone!

[@pkk2122]

Thank you Stephanie!

[@Mzfitalkaline]

My past intrusive thoughts

[@sherondadavis8907]

😢😢😢 listening to this hits me. Because I know I'm not healed. Then I just lost someone I felt I could finally call friend. I'm starting to feel like I'm going backward

[@malugurusudhakarreddyjoshua]

Sister... May God bless you...Amen in Jesus name...Amen in Jesus name 🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌

[@matthewwozniak9138]

She will forever be in my 💔heart.

[@mirola73]

At the moment I'm just numb, waiting for the official letter to arrive that I will give to her personally making divorce proceedings a reality.

[@25N77]

I have a 2AM test. If I wake up at 2AM and the first thing my mind processes are pains from the past, I am not healed.

[@elizabethcampbell9474]

I’m trying so hard to get out of the cycle of rumination.

[@ARWENxUNDOMIELx]

Unrelated but you're super pretty! I think my ex hasn't healed because he's stalking me and it really scares me. We broke up almost 2 years ago

[@whiskeythrottle8680]

Signs I’m not healed….me watching this video at 1am lol

[@Fururu333]

I’m two years out of the relationship and I still feel ties to them. Sometimes it’s hurt and sadness, and other times it’s missing them (why?!), or this very intrusive/compulsive need to check their socials. Why do I torture myself like that? They abused me, why the fuck am I still thinking about them?!

[@gaurs230]

Yes Ofcourse a lot of has fear of abandonment and even some inner wounding

[@tinawilliford5330]

This so hit home. I wish I could talk to you. I am struggling very much.

[@jeanfitzsimmons7442]

Some wounds take a long time to heal. The trick is knowing that has completed. The hardest for me was to forgive. Once done, i still have to remind myself i have done that and it no longer matters. Its a sort of putting on the breaks in my head. It gets easier as time passes. Or should i say, the breaks keep getting stronger.

[@james50227]

Yeah it's still bothering me. I have been pretty angry with myself and experiencing PTSD but I call it relationship ptsd. Losing a person you've known your whole life ptsd

[@aiden_zae]

Hi Steph. Good Day! First of all, i wanna say THANK YOU. Ive been binge watching you videos every single night before i went to sleep, sometimes i even let your voice sent me to sleep. I am going through healing from 9 years long marriage that happened 4 months ago. We we were not really married but i would call it that because we've been living together for 9 years. Your videos helped me move forward in life, your video is the first video id watch in the morning and last video before i sleep. So thank you. Im interested in learning more of how exactly you started your life coach journey. What course you took and what ceritification and programme you took when you first started. And where do you get your knowledge from like did you enrolled in Psychology classes or diploma? I hope you dont mind sharing because moving forward in life. I think being a coach is something that could fulfill my life purpose because i wanna help people either save their marriage or start their healing journey after breakup just like you did. I have no problem speaking on stage or get client, i just dont know where to start to become a life coach. Keep doing what youre doing because you helped me and many more as we are going through the toughest time of our life. i will never forget you. so thank you.

[@rhinoricky10]

Thank you

[@Brittany-cr3yq]

Hey Steph, can you make a video about anxious attachment styles and being in a narcissistic relationship or how the breakup will be?

[@deevilla6101]

I know!! I understand

[@jonnuanez7183]

7:15 It's way too hard to be vulnerable when your feelings and your empathetic manner were taken advantage of.

[@johnsnow3883]

I feel you, no one deserves to be taken advantage of or have their trust broken like that ❤️

[@TomFox1]

9/10!! how LUCKY I AM! 😂😂😔

[@rosaliaoliver-qv3gr]

My late husband is in my dreams asking to go with him,and to dance ,and waiting for me in church to Get Mary

[@rosaliaoliver-qv3gr]

Sorry I didn’t finish evry time ,when I think what he wants in my dreams I Get very nervous . Our wedding was just by law . Now in my dreams he wants a wedding in the church.

[@rosaliaoliver-qv3gr]

He was narcissist

[@warriorsofjustice5597]

How can my husband and mother-in-law deal with my covert narcissist sister-in-law? She is always the victim, plays sick and goes to hospital once a week. However, there is nothing ever found wrong. She makes her mother totally support her and kids financially etc. This is literally driving us insane.

[@anirudkshivaraja7191]

Hii ma’am please give guidance on how to discover our needs and wants . - Types on needs Struggling to figure out myself watched a ton of videos on KZbin 🙏🏻

[@aquariansunrise8981]

Listen to your inner voice. That's where your answers may be answered.

[@anirudkshivaraja7191]

@@aquariansunrise8981 Thankyou so much:)

[@aquariansunrise8981]

@@anirudkshivaraja7191🔔🌞🌻

[@kimberleyann51]

Any suggestions for trying to move forward dating. Because of the trauma, I won't let anyone get close to me. 😢 I find I'm ghosting.

[@jackthere]

I'm worried about this too. It's a sign that I can't date. Maybe someday, but focusing on me seems the best path to avoid another narcissist/borderline/histrionic mess of a person.

[@jimmysweat2200]

James 3:17 1 Corinthians 3:19

[@BbBb-xb5xe]

Thank you 🙏

[@Hypericum23]

I am partway through this and its like you are my counsellor talking about something that happened to me when I was 18,its deep and buried but the other week came up in a dream,am I to deal with this thing Ive brushed away and forgotten. Thankyou

[@tinapearson8753]

I'm healing, but my TNM used me for my children to get her hands on them because i was a single mom and she felt superior and her and her overt N husband wanted my kids so I did the best I could but now they reject me 😢and I'm have been the emath scapegoat doormat .so that's the roadblock I love my children I can't get past them doing so much damage to my children and myself 😢 I'm having a really hard time .my 3 children are adults now 😢 but still are emesheshed and I'm discarded because I told the truth and went no contact about 3 years ago . I really want to heal 😢

[@JulyBridgeman]

I'm on my journey. It's been almost a year. Anxiety and stress, yes. What is srlf-parenting?

[@santieldasavage]

I suppresse my feelings

[@200xcBruce]

Thirteen years divorced from a narcissist and not healed. Ex has disconnected as of the day the divorce was finalized. I was left with so many questions. I was abused emotionally for last 5 yrs of the marriage once she took down the mask.

[@wilsonsouza3972]

Hello I'm Wilson from Brazil Rio de janeiro

[@deevilla6101]

I know

[@TomFox1]

Do people ever heal? Serious question

[@TomFox1]

@@blackstorm69666 😈

[@patrickdaigle5239]

🔥😍🔥

[@bbruce995]

It's almost impossible to heal, there seems to be no way to find out how to heal when you don't know what caused it. This hsp ife stucks when you are a guy

[@St.Aether]

10:06

[@ChicagoAnzuruni]

Who dare to bring people I don't need people you not do something just to stop stop bringing people nobody has to bring people you not do right just just stop yourself because I tell you move your house and walk my place talk for me that's no problem you talk for me that's not a problem

[@doreen8855]

Thank you healing helps a multitude....kids work place family and friends anything close to you is up for destruction when dealing with a damaged hurt woman.😓🙏👏🌹🤍👍🥲

[@deevilla6101]

I know!! I understand

[@deevilla6101]

I know!! I understand