Who is responsible if your heart gets broken - The R Spot - Episode 12

/ iyanlava. .
Iyanla Vanzant's - The R Spot - episode 12 - Who is responsible if your heart gets broken?
visit: Iyanla Vanzant website www.iyanla.com/

[@cherylrichards8600]

This is very true. When you see red flags, RUN. I wish I did.

[@harrylong9781]

Amen and if somebody cries and says I don't deserve you you deserve better you treat me so good and I treat you so bad don't hug them run from them

[@seer-elishalewis9154]

Yep

[@mars1783]

Ugh.... me too

[@joanncrabtree4354]

Me too!! Me too!! I should have ran for my life!!😢

[@TheAMW]

It's always easier to place blame on others than looking at yourself. Iyanla always challenges you to take responsibility for everything in your life. This is not easy, but at the end of the day it is empowering and causes tremendous personal growth. Another great video, as always. Love her teachings!

[@almamia229]

Ashley Monique Webster Very well stated....

[@tiachamblee1198]

This is so hard to hear but neccessary. I pray every day to have the courage. This video was right on time for me.

[@mars1783]

Ugh, Me too.... Courage to make the changes I need to make to Create the life I am WORTHY of manifesting.

[@Pink-zi3ib]

I totally agree.We attract people on our level of self_ worth.If I can't love myself, no one will.

[@mars1783]

Yep, I've been single for so long n now I wanna try n be social again, but I'm working on myself first.... n that's a big old job, so whatever!?

[@marialezama6537]

I learnt this the hard way 😮. I'm feeling so lost😢

[@mattiethesurfer]

I am a man and I love these videos! I believe they apply to men as well (just flipping the roles).

[@charlesgold9016]

Me too

[@mars1783]

Awesome.... these r universal lessons, ALL PEOPLE should learn to protect ourselves from undue heartache n regret.

[@ghanyathomas9538]

Another pearl of wisdom from 👑 Queen Iyanla! 🌟

[@mjcjjcc7]

It is my responsibility. I accept this responsibility.

[@mars1783]

Me too

[@florencewilliams7193]

This video brought me to tears. I have been dealing with a lot of hurt and pain over the years due to lies and betrayal from people that I love and all the hate has been on my shoulders for years. Even though my heart knew all this time I was responsible. I continued to allow myself to be hurt because I love the people who betrayed me. I know it's time for me to change because through the years I have been going on this down spiral each time worse then the previous action

[@mars1783]

Thank you for sharing Dear Florence!!! It sounds like you're a lovely person n it's their loss for disrespecting you.... I'm having similar issues as I navigate business, been a very tense/competitive feeling intro to this game called fame.... n um, this is MY LIFE N MY FAMILY.... n ain't nobody gonna make me feel less than.... yes, I've learned my lessons... no, I'm not letting people in to take advantage like that, I now exploit them. And if those Ad. Boys can't pay me or at least acknowledge me..... then go wait!!! Haha

[@elenikiroy]

This is pure gold. You are a gifted and articulate woman. Thank you for putting this so clearly.

[@missbcritiques9209]

So true, Taking responsibility, being aware of the PATTERN...setting ourselves free.

[@missmyasia]

Omg!! This entire created a spiritual and emotional shift..So many valid points that i was able to connect with .. Thank you mother!! The weight has been lifted .

[@lalovelylenea]

I went through a breakup this year and what you just said is what I've been learning over the past couple of months.You put this so eloquently and lovingly. Thank you so much!

[@mars1783]

Right? I'm in my forties n I'm just beginning to scratch the surface of why I've allowed certain HURTS to fester in my life, n how I can course correct.

[@LindaKLee]

@@mars1783 I am in my late 50s and I just had my 36th wedding anniversary for me to find out or to acknowledge the exact same thing.

[@lnny33]

I accept that and ever one that have hurt me cut them off and keep it moving..thanks

[@jamin6517]

I just don’t understand why people hurt others. Why and how do people cheat, abandon, and betray others? Wouldn’t that just gnaw at a persons soul knowing that they hurt someone? Thinking of the guilt in itself is enough to prevent me from hurting others. This woman here is so inspirational, wise, smart, evolved. What a beautiful spirit. Thank you for having such a beautiful core

[@hienienguyen6766]

They do that bc misery loves company. It takes work for ppl to be faithful. Some ppl are just lazy. So they rather the easy way out. And do whatever they want. Ppl are tempted to doing their lustful things. It's a shame that ppl dont understand what morals are anymore

[@kynathomas4809]

I think if we dig into psychology a little bit deeper we will see there's all kinds of people in the world, including people without a conscience. You obviously have one because the thought of hurting someone would bother you. Please know that everyone does not think on a level like this and we should be aware of people who don't.

[@azucarweber2456]

You are a lifesaver, my daughter went trough a bad brakeup.. this videos helped me=help her. You strength my relationship with her and God.. Thank you so much for this videos 🥰

[@annettepacheco2673]

I love you Iyanla. It is 4:50 in the morning and I'm watching the R spot and I was watching when you was speaking about The Spiritual Code of Conduct. I started watching you because I was crying in my bed and couldn't stop because my relationship is coming to an end. So, I decided to watch you because you always calm me down. I thank my Lord for you and thank you for your good energy....I see a lot of my self in you.

[@jfauntl1]

I now know it was my fault. I chose holding on the his insurance that he let me keep while he was in another relationship only so he could keep me bonded with him. It lasted 10 years. So when he decided to get into another relationship, he dropped me like a hot potatoe and I flipped, almost had to go into a mental hospital. Thanks to Iyanla. Thank you. Im getting better every day!!!!! One day at a time!!!!

[@aneva2459]

up at 4:44 crying over my breakup and this video truly just changed my whole thought process...

[@kathykeener9303]

The video was Truly Heart Felt...Thank you

[@kimberleyalexa3116]

why don't people understand Personal Responsibility? we are responsible for every single thing we do from minute we get up till minute we go to sleep. it's really easy but people make it hard.

[@mars1783]

It becomes Hazy when/if challenges arise that grow beyond your capacity to control, this is when SURRENDER is needed, but even then we must hold empathy for those that experience life in a manner different from your own.

[@mars1783]

Once life knocks you around a lil, ypu may ALSO understand why people r So Dumb!?!? Haha

[@tgibson003]

I did exactly what Isabel did!!! Hearing you tell this story just empowered me!!! I was devastated but I was proud of myself because years ago, I would have stayed......My pattern is ignoring red flags, having an expectation that men will cheat, not trusting, and waiting for the day for me to say “See, I knew it.” I have major work to do on me.

[@MsKennedy2012]

Going through tough time for quite sometime. Needed this; thank you!

[@gwadkarukera]

Omega, I prayed that you get inner peace and healing. It will get better!

[@AngimeroLeBron]

This is incredible! Thanks a million, Iyanla!!

[@theiablakesley4304]

I'm seriously in love with Iyanla!! Super amazing with amazing advice

[@vmcptvmcpt9669]

Thank you Iyanla for your quality advise. You keep me balanced and help me to reflect on certain situations especially relationships. I thank you and I salute you do not stop educating please 😊🌌

[@giaunique7806]

I just adopted Iyanla as my spiritual Mother... She is a woman of strength and wisdom. #Queens rock 👑

[@brentsmith7021]

A very good message, thank you for your time in getting this episode online. Recently I've learned the hard way that my "reaction to emotion" was the wrong way in dealing with a woman I cherished for 18 months who clearly wasn't loyal to me during our relationship. It hurts, but your message has gone a long way in helping me recognize the abuse from my past and the types of women I seem to attract now. The understanding that I am slowly developing on my own from these experiences has been validated by your message in this video. Thank you.

[@jurejo]

Hi Brent. Look into codependency & narcissism. That may answer some questions for you. Narcissistic woman or man would never treat your right no matter how much you love them or what you do. It is all always about them! They will have no time for you, no respect or appreciation of you. They are unable to "see" you, your qualities, your light, uniqueness. Will not be interested in what makes you tick as a person, your dreams, ambitions,wants. Codependent is there just to serve needs of narcissist.There is no reciprocity in such relationships. They play with us for a while & just bin us & go looking for somebody new. We codependents let this happen because this is how our parents treated us & we don't know any other " love" . Until we face our childhood hurt & heal our disappointed & broken hearts, people like this will keep hurting us. Look after yourself & mend your broken heart so that one day you can have a healthy loving relationship with someone worthy of your love and time.

[@denisebishop9588]

Thank you Iyanla! Needed to hear this today!

[@phyllis3909]

This is so true! You get to choose how you respond to your heartbreak. You get to create your own experience. Don’t worry about the other person that is unhealthy and serves no benefit. Focus on U! Thank you for this powerful message!

[@LetzzzK]

I really like her explanation. Thank you for your time and work.

[@fayetaylor1998]

This is such a great message auntie yanla! There was a time when I didn't understand this. But I know now that WE are "Responsible" for all the situations and relationships we find ourselves in. It was hard for me at times to face the fact that I mirrored some of the relationships that i involved myself in. Because it wasn't always a pretty thing to see. But once I got honest with myself and faced the truth. I was enabled to start making the changes I wanted to see in my life.

[@AngelasAnythingShow]

women's intuition is a beautiful thing!!! glad to see you posting videos on youtube again,

[@elizabethannemartinez2532]

I am torn over what I put myself through again. I saw the red flags but didn't speak my truth. I could of saved myself, my soul from the heartbreak. I didn't ask the questions cause I feared the answers that ended up coming to life when he wanted me to go. I was in a different state & devested. Is my lesson to speak up for me when the writing is on the wall. My mind is torturing me. From your example is my lesson to stand up for myself? I know where I contributed, I kept silent while he planned his departure. I wasn't like Isabel. I need to speak up for me, change my behavior. Learn to communicate -speak my truth. That I believe is my lesson to break this cycle I find myself in. I take my responsibility. I will chose better in my future. Thank YOU for sharing your wisdom.

[@feliciapetway2218]

Thanks for your motherly talk which is very interesting.

[@iamsilentprogress]

Love this sooooo much thank you for this really needed this healing and cleanse tonight. Thank you Ms. Iyanla ❤️

[@lavieestbelle6068]

I am so glad I listened to this video. Iyanla Vanzant, you are truly shinning your light to enlighten those who are still living in the shadows of negative relationships.

[@koketsonakeni2665]

I love and appreciate this women,and the things she says to empower my soul. 💕

[@mrjackson8536]

wow that's absolutely amazing it is our responsibility to ourselves to make sure that we are taking care of my own mind it's almost like she's talking about affirmations

[@sjmuhammad19]

I like this because it puts me in the light that I am responsible for my own happiness. I can't blame someone else for how I feel and to stop pointing fingers. I have to take better care of myself. Thank you for this video. I ca see my patterns.

[@mschris6765]

Thank you....i accept my responsibility for my part in the heartbreak and I am learning how to respond ❤

[@mariahb8927]

I needed this so bad. I felt like I did not know how to move past my past heartbreak. It’s shown up in my current situation. And it’s scary bc I felt trapped in my feelings. I needed this! I can have healthy relationships and heal this. Thank you!

[@missesceron6086]

I LEARNED..."NO TRUST OTHER THAN MY TRUST IN GOD BECAUSE EVERYONE I EVER TRUSTED HAS BROKE MY HEART ❤SO I KEEP MY GUARD UP AND IT CAN NEVER BE LOWERED. YOU CAN NEVER SUCKERPUNCH ME BECAUSE IM FOREVER LOOKING FOR IT."

[@mars1783]

I hope girls like me n you can learn to let our guards down, at least a little? I'm in the same club.... I'll hurt you, reject you, so u won't hurt me mentality. However, I find I'm the one missing out on loving n living in full color, so to speak. Ugh, it's so hard to want to try for me too, though.... it's been years since I tried. .... oops!?

[@leejay2418]

...and you still get to choose how you respond.... Amazing!

[@QueenRissa_34]

Take a breath! Love it

[@alchemiktee5325]

thank you ... my spirit came through to me last night while I was listening to one of your videos... thank you ase!

[@queenjee8570]

Needed this. We all do. Thanks for the reminder💯❤❤❤❤🙏🏾👌🏾🔥🔥

[@akshahinstitute9307]

I claim full responsibility fr the consequences nd circumstances. so nice of u lovely lady fr the great thoughts u delivered. that's not just the case with girls alone, I'm a thirty year old man went through a very horrible phase in my life recently,by I thank the lovely lady fr spiritual awakening.I thank her whole heartedly nd I free myself by forgiving myself and her. thanks again.

[@TT-os1cb]

Love love loveee this. Exactly what I needed to hear.

[@mars1783]

Thanks, Teach!!! I know I've been stubborn to learn how to unravel my patterns, n study my mistakes.... It's easier to put up a wall of defensiveness, blame others, n keep the blinders on. However, that is the childish patterns I've been exhibiting for decades now, n I am willing to grow past em. N I am blessed to have this AMAZING HEALING Journey n time to process it's gifts. The laws of cause n effect gnaw at the subconscious at times, but it gives relief to feel I'm growing into my role as a teacher and empath. Learning to not care what others think has been extremely necessary.... I love your lessons n humor n message of excellence, Dear Iyanla!!! Thanks for guiding us through this era of new ideas n faith that's being tested. Thank you for listening, Dear Fellow Fans!!!

[@sharijimmy3675]

I LOVE HER SO MUCHHH!!!

[@AntoinetteMPetty]

Your advice has been and continue to be a great help in my life. I thank you from my heart. Live in love and peace

[@eternalearth88]

Iyalana. Thank you. Thank you for being born, existing, learning and sharing your wisdom. I feel myself letting go of the past to achieve my destiny and your words help to heal from deep within my core ♥️

[@deannaaguirre3516]

Thank you so much for your knowledge! Much love and blessings ❤️

[@badchocolate5202]

I love her! She’s my inspiration!

[@bobbij7089]

Amen! thank you thank you thank you!

[@dovetales3]

Thank you Ms Iyanla for confirming that I'm on the right track! Love these tips! God Bless You

[@omobusolataibat3622]

True. No one has the power to treat you badly except you give them the power to

[@swim610]

This relationship although over let me show myself I can act with dignity in the face of betrayal.Thankyou for this video to help me see that.

[@karynwphotographs7493]

Thank you Iyanla!!

[@theresamcpherson9676]

Ms. Vanzant thank you for that word of wisdom!!! A fan of yours from my Medgar Evers years class of 96'.

[@kennykehinde5501]

You made me believe I was not alone in this, you changed my life... You're the best I ever heard of lately.

[@kimmartens4741]

How do I recovery my intuition after the trauma of being betrayed? I'm suspicious and paranoid 8 months after discovering my husbands affair. We have been married for 24 years. The affair id long over but my gut won't let its guard down.

[@nicanor110yahoo]

Auntie Iyanla, I heard this message loud and clear.. Peace and blessings..

[@moniquepradro]

You bring so much joy and light to this world. Your thoughts are like receiving a comfortable hug. Thank you!

[@eunicedetoiles9901]

I love this! Thank you Master Teacher Iyanla!

[@lolavonvegan6770]

omg you no idea how this helped me. Thank so much ❤

[@4supernatural]

Yes! I FINALLY UNDERSTOOD. ~ thank you!!!!!!!! 🙏🏻✨

[@aasmahsohbat6154]

Thank you for these pearls of wisdom.

[@tyemoney1830]

Speechless!

[@mkfscorpio]

thank you thank you thank you. this came right on time and right on target. I had the breakthrough I needed last night watching this and am still processing it. You and your teachings are a gift for those of us who aren't content settling for miserable. thank you!

[@clara_jj4381]

yeeeeeeesssss Miss Iyanla. that one was for me.

[@tamaramartin7342]

I so love her

[@sheilaj4084]

That was excellent!

[@xw6475]

So wise Ms Vanzart!! Yes i shall looking into that and found out the reason. I am take time to reflex them

[@andreawindrim8235]

Great advice. Excellent. Thank you so much. Blessings. You are wonderful.

[@mary_jane6670]

I love your vídeos, they are really precious!I want to express my gratitude and send greetings from Portugal!! :)

[@gwadkarukera]

Let the church say Amen!!!!!!

[@ktstt65]

Amen!

[@Miamisbeauty77]

Amen

[@danya8292]

Amen

[@amandalove3948]

gwadkarukera AMEN

[@soniashaw874]

Amen sister I want to take her and put her in my house I need her

[@practicalteachingchronicle6631]

I love the closing. Stay in "Peace, not in Pieces" Profound

[@phoebesmith70]

Ms. Iyanla, I thought for a moment once seeing you were doing this vlog, not to do the one I had been working on. Thanks to you I have decided to go forward and share what's inside of me and take the occurrence that we would come out with the same idea at the same time speaks to how far my spirit has come. Now this revelation has been confirmed for me because I was in the process of writing my next episode and I used the exact example you used in this video about the scene on Greenleaf. I am using that scene to discuss infidelity. I am speaking to part where she says, "Just tell me the truth now because I won't go into this marriage beginning with a lie." I think his decision not to lie respected her intuition and he wanted to be honest before going into the marriage. I believe this was an opportunity for their relationship to have open and honest communication going forward.

[@gwadkarukera]

I love it! Awesome!!!

[@honeytemptations]

I love this. I definitely learned something new. I really want to know the patterns I'm making in meeting/choosing the wrong mate.

[@armelledesi6323]

Me too i am so sick and tired of choosing the wrong mate

[@danilaroche1156]

Excellent work Sister Iyanla!

[@jennifersmith9775]

break through and life changing on what I ask of what I allow and what I need to own up to

[@debracody942]

Yesss I So Do Agree With You IyanIa I ended a Relationship or An Engagement with a man I Suspected that he was cheating on me and I asked him a Question are you cheating on me then he had the nerve to Tell me ohh you don't know what your talking about your to paranoid like Really!!. Because my concseince was telling me other wise so that's when the Ugly Truth finally came out... So I Ended the Engagement and He was shocked because I was Married Twice and Twice I filed for Divorce and I warned him if you cheat on me or Do me wrong I will End it he Assured me he wasn't that typed of Man... WRONG!!!.... So in the end yes I was hurt, But I had my Dignity in tracked it took me a while to get myself back Together but I'm here like Ceile said on the color purple ☔️ i'm Here!!!

[@soniashaw874]

Bravo Nikei sassa it means an overcomer stand like the brave with your face to the foe all the best we are all in this thing call life together 👨‍👩‍👧‍👧👊

[@michellehughes6970]

Thank you soooooooooooo much Auntie Iyanla. I really needed to see and hear this today. I today will take responsibility of the blow of betrayal that I received this morning. I am on my way to a better me. Pease and Blessings.

[@buru44]

I love you Iyanla!

[@lindaharrell1871]

Great advice!!

[@beam8250]

I love you Iyanla! 💜

[@hienienguyen6766]

Indeed we do have things to learn. I am in love with your videos. You got great vibes. Inspirational and informative things. Our minds make us wonder what happened. Thanks for your words.

[@nanunyokir8549]

Ur videos helped me a lot.. Thank u so much

[@gyallikepisces5903]

I love your teachings Iyanla 😍

[@hemar7543]

This is life changing!!!!!!

[@nikkidiaz6530]

You are such an inspiration for woman. Thank you

[@mirjamlipitwa7747]

Thank you,you make me to find a true definition of real love and deep meaning of who real am I.wish to meet with you personally in future.From Namibia, Africa

[@cedricjennings8360]

Love this! Good stuff.

[@ATrueLoveOfficial]

You are the one who is responsible when you get broken, because your the one who bring out yourself, to overcome in difficult situations and you did not notice you already heal and oh your doing better.

[@ktstt65]

love it! Thanks for sharing

[@Queen-dg2ff]

Thank you for your powerful lessons Always helping 😘

[@avlove22]

Thanks so much. ❤❤❤

[@letellier1990]

When I was a little girl my dad left my mom for my mom‘s best friend. I remember the day that he left I was hanging on to his ankles crying and begging him not to leave. He did leave with the other woman. I’ve come to learn that I feel like I will never be “chosen first”. I met The man I married when I was 15 years old. I have been with him for 35 years and married for 28 years. He was my first everything. We recently separated which was devastating to me. He no longer wants to work on our marriage. I have never felt “chosen first“ by him and I never felt like I was a priority to him. He was always priority #1 with me. How do I go about releasing the fact that the two most influential men in my life did NOT choose me. I do not want to carry this into any future relationships, how do I release this pattern.

[@mahoganybliss7273]

Its me Brenda Lee By writing this you did you said many times you felt like you wasn’t chosen first .......I know you felt relief after you wrote this very freeing journal 🙏🏾

[@debbierulh5896]

I wouldn't have asked or taking a stand . after 40 years of marriage , finally taking a stand . yes , I used bad ways to handle it . I've been learning from watching your videos and show . ty