JAGUAR's Plan All Along

[@Hollyclown]

Jaguar looked at the Cyber Truck and said “we can do uglier!”

[@Gamerguy-ud1zo]

I wonder how many more cars like this we’re going to see in the near future. I recently saw local businesses in my area are already turning cyber trucks into company cars sporting their branding so chances are were going to see them more as time goes on.

[@Clint52279]

Love 'em or hate 'em, they do catch the eye.

[@DocWolph]

At least the Cyber truck looks like a prop vehicle from a 1980s sci-fi b-flick designed by someone how loved Deloreans.

[@jimathybindlenim6359]

Cyber truck is pug ugly Jag is like poop ugly

[@lekhaclam87]

They made it look lame and gay.

[@FuzzWoof]

I'm actually impressed by the design. They've somehow managed to create a car which somehow looks both hideous and utterly generic at the same time, I didn't think that was possible. I particularly love the interior with the long brass centre console/armrest combo, I always wanted somewhere to rest my arm which will both burn me in the summer and freeze me in the winter. Genius.

[@Bf26fge]

Nailed it. Hideous and generic on the outside. Garish on the inside.

[@Mhaakify]

Jaguar had a slow connection that day. The cars never fully loaded in while he was talking.

[@KeybladeMasterAndy]

Yeah. They should have used a faster SSD.

[@knottyeti]

@@Mhaakify I'm not sure that the voice module fully loaded either. Or maybe it's just because they made boring Bob from accounting do the presentation.

[@Mhaakify]

@@knottyeti That's just the AI powered NPC's way of speaking. It's a prototype.

[@Revenant-oq9ts]

It looks like an incomplete render of the Herrera Outlaw from Cyberpunk 2077.

[@Mhaakify]

@@Revenant-oq9ts Yeah, or like a Chevillon Thrax before the details load in.

[@RealJohnnyGuillotine]

Jaguar introduces... The Mobile Buttplug 240v

[@analogbunny]

Waterproof silicone personal stimulator. it even has the pearl satin finish.

[@lukamilic]

LGB-GT Concept 😂

[@SpankMyFace]

If anybody you know buys a Jag, just say "oh, you bought a buttplug?"

[@YesterMoon47]

“An object of desire”

[@muffinsdawg]

Jaguar is trying to appeal to people who will never even be able to afford a Jaguar

[@renmcmanus]

The physically and financially crippling drugs don't leave them with enough money. (Had to retype this like 4 times because the dark jokes would never have passed KZbin censorship.)

[@DemonEdge82]

Actually they know exactly who they’re marketing to, rich woke leftists.

[@Crazedgamer16]

Yeah, Because they wasted their money on crypto currencies.

[@Mallard942]

​@@DemonEdge82I'd say that they're assuming that category is the majority of people. These people have no clue how tiny of a minority they are, because they refuse to ever hear any dissent.

[@DemonEdge82]

You’re not wrong. It is a small minority, it’s like game devs focusing on woke politics for the “modern audience” that just so happens to not exist. Woke is on its way out anywho.

[@ExceptBacon]

This is what the 90’s thought future pimps would drive. Is there a shag interior too?

[@GF-mf7ml]

Make it look like toilet

[@NoahGooder]

@@GF-mf7ml skibidi

[@cathulhu3772]

nope.... that bar through the middle prohibits any hand job or oral escapades. Target clientele is impotent, so no harm done.

[@Wardog01Actual]

Upgrayedd! 🤣

[@michaelcarney6280]

@@ExceptBacon jaguar of tomorrow is for Gimp's 🤣

[@guardiantko3220]

"Look at these impressive designs" "Powerful lines" BRO WHAT LINES, WHAT DESIGNS, THIS IS A SKETCH I DID AT THE AGE OF 3 WHEN I THOUGHT I KNEW CAR SHAPES

[@Alteori]

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

[@Arcella1981]

"a jaguar should be a copy of nothing!", so we looked at cybertruck and the tesla cars and combined them and stuck a jaguar "logo" on them and said look! how original these cars are!" i have to say jaguar would have been FAR better off if they just started literally remanufacturing their old cars again, like literally making exact copies of their old cars that everyone loved

[@mugglescakesniffer3943]

Jaguar was all about the curves and the catlike. This looks like a Boombox or industrial theme.

[@tenchraven]

Uhm... Ask your mom what it looks like.

[@tirefish]

It looks like something Bumblebee would have as an alt mode in an animated show

[@AdaTheWatcher]

It looks like a vibrator with wheels lmfao​@@tenchraven

[@mkv2718]

@@tirefishthey look like the clogs the transformers would wear in Denmark to fit in

[@WilliamMosicki-Nystrom]

God, the cars of tomorrow just looks terrible.

[@TwilightWolf032]

I'll stick with yesterday's car that I already have.

[@RacerDrag]

@@TwilightWolf032 Pre-2016

[@Defa_Noob]

Remember when they did art in the 50's of what they thought future cars would look like? Yeah I want THOSE designs...

[@izzaazzurri]

Not all of them! Some future car actually apply the good futuristic look like Hyundai N vision 74

[@slappy8941]

Cars "look" terrible. Learn to English more gooder.

[@neoanimegirl]

Couldnt even choose cool colors, powder blue and baby pink. The fuck 😂

[@chrisrus1965]

She's clearly right - the idea was to get contravercy/attention, but she misses the real problem with the reaction: the gayness. First, chicks dig dudes with cool cars and don't want to be seen driving a gay car, because like it or not, gay stuff is lame in the eyes of most dudes. That's the whole problem with it. The CEO, etc., are so gay they have the gay aesthetic where powder blue and baby pink are cool colors to gays, so they thought everyone would agree. The problem is, regular dudes are no way going to buy a car branded as a gay car, so everyone thinks the company will go bankrupt.

[@Mihollo21]

@@neoanimegirl gender reveal Jaguars

[@TailsFetish]

the perfect car for your gender reveal

[@ThePartyPrimate]

Coincidentally, the colors of the trans flag. Wonder why that is...

[@Adventist1997]

@@ThePartyPrimate They're 100% going woke with those colours 😂

[@michaelcox9855]

Ah yes, the Jaguar Brick. How creative.

[@suipsycko]

... to be fair, at least a brick falls under the engineering aspect of (form and function)...

[@deondrex18k]

Sounds like Balenciaga

[@YesterMoon47]

Eroded brick

[@michaelcox9855]

@@suipsycko Yes, but they typically don't roll unless something terribly wrong happens.

[@Trihard_Seven]

It's an E-type half rendered in Blender

[@marcjustmarc6990]

as a kid, i used to doodle these actual car designs on my notebook as i was bored out of my mind in class. and even then i thought they were crap

[@FireChicken747]

Jaguar speed running bankruptcy

[@Clint52279]

They'll burn any company to the ground for DEI. Don't worry about their jobs though! The ones at the top at least. They'll be welcomed in by other DEI obsessed companies.

[@ressljs]

Concept clown car aside, their jump to all electric cars couldn't be worse timed. Even if they looked good, I think going all electric would kill them.

[@Adventist1997]

@@ressljs Electric cars are worse for the planet in the long run, so maybe that's big oil’s plan 😂

[@Grobut81]

Gilette: Nobody can alienate their own market quite like us! Bud Light: Is that a fact? Harley: Challenge accepted. Jaguar: Hold my white wine spritzer.

[@shaneilellis9832]

Even since lately the UK internal part of the car before this controversy, people were complaining about technical problem,now this.

[@Wolkebuch99]

"Objects of desire"... the jokes write themselves 🤣

[@steel8231]

When minimalism goes so far it becomes irl low-poly.

[@RyanJSmith]

Jaguar was a symbol of British sophistication and excellence. They didn't even get a posh guy to present it. At least Aston Martin still know what a premium car should look like

[@joshflorence1998]

"Copy nothing", except the Jaguar F-Type which is essentially a baby Aston Martin.

[@Eladdan]

The designer(s, lets be real that thing was designed by committee) seem to remember seeing an old Hotwheels in their dad's old toy collection and were all, "That's the new design! Ship it!"

[@ZiaAnnouncer]

Disparu is AWESOME! (You’re there too… in your own VERY unique way)

[@MrTobi013]

Shout out to the General of Dispair!

[@NoahGooder]

if you havent, i suggest watching his review of RoP and acolyte he pretty much completely loses his mind.

[@ZiaAnnouncer]

@@NoahGooder Yeah. Seen most of he’s recent stuff.

[@nw1750]

He needs to - NEEDS TO - learn to brush his teeth. Those yellow chicklets make me gag so bad I can't watch his vids. (A hair-wash would go a long way too).

[@snorlaxcrossing95]

Gender reveal jaguar

[@skibidi.G]

Also looks like the transbullshit flag

[@Aging_Casually_Late_Gamer]

Underrated comment

[@kaykutcher2103]

How dare you assume their brand?!

[@creaturetransylvania8943]

7:15 Indeed it is the great Monty Python. The black Knight refused to surrender, definitely watch the scene to see the extent of his determination.

[@thecircleoft.e.d2121]

Monty Python and the Holy Grail

[@CommenjouerFr-gplus]

"It's just a scratch!"

[@ilari90]

@@CommenjouerFr-gplus "Flesh wound"

[@lucadibattista4864]

@@creaturetransylvania8943 a medieval version of Adrian Carton de Wiart...

[@Nagalior]

The guy not only copied cyber truck, he even tries to act like Elon himself

[@RonMar]

I'd buy one... If it could also transform into a jet and hydroplane - - and had lasers.

[@MarioMario-uy2my]

It is like an AI rendition of a new cybertruck

[@barryon8706]

Who's going to drive these? Well, Barbie might drive the pink one.

[@pohjanakka4992]

Heh. That was my first thought: if they make that as a convertible they might be able to sell it to Barbie fans. There have to be some rich fans around, I presume. At least among those women who liked that movie, even if they no longer play with the dolls?

[@The_Rusalka]

@@barryon8706 The women would want something prettier or cuter, these are just kind of ugly

[@kingandrewcecil348]

Even Barbie Roberts would find these cars to be "fugly" as well 👎👎👎👎🤢🤢🤮🤮

[@kaykutcher2103]

Looks like they're from the first Tron.

[@Ylerian]

I'm pleasantly surprised to see you upload a car related video

[@Slick9600]

What Jaguar is doing isn't Retroism, it's "Modern Art". Actual retro cars are the most beautiful and comfortable cars ever made. We are missing out so so very much. My old El Camino alone had more comfortable seats than most peoples houses and the powersteering was so smooth you could steer with one finger and the curves from the cab to back of the truck were as if they came from an artisan shop rather than a factory, and to top it of you had more bedspace than 90% of the trucks on the road today. Now, we get grey brick...

[@HonkaiMain]

Looks like the derby cars i used to make back in boy scouts.

[@MathieuDeVinois]

Jaguar, a Cybertruck that identifies as a Gucci purse

[@Unhandled_Exception]

They broke the mold before they made it.

[@YuriDSC]

Over the past year or so the UK has become a laughingstock, this is just another nail in that huge-ass pink coffin.

[@alchemystudiosink1894]

See, if yaguwar made the car sleek black or silver and pushed more for the cyberpunk crowd, they'd have something.

[@tawanadaniels2072]

11:45 Please tell me I'm not the only one seeing 'Hungry, Hungry Hippos'.....

[@NoahGooder]

you arent lol

[@georgeray1906]

Congratulations, thanks to you now I can't help but imagine those hippos everytime I see these new Jaguar 'cars'.

[@Grobut81]

Well now i can't unsee it! Should i thank you, or cure you out for that, i'm not really sure.

[@starflameburnsbright]

@@tawanadaniels2072 noooo! What has been seen can not be unseen

[@kennethdavis3736]

I love how they said "Let's put a giant A/C vent where the tail-lights should be and have NO REAR WINDOW whatsoever!" It's a BOLD STRATEGY, let's see if it works out for them!

[@dick-vn3yv]

That design won't pass inspection in the U.S.

[@dick-vn3yv]

The rear design alone won't pass inspection in the U.S.

[@split117]

"The sense of drama" lmao, I get a better sense of drama watching my dogs muscles tense up while taking a dump, looking like they're dead lifting their full body weight then looking at this thing let alone it's interior

[@TheZealo]

When you reveal your car but it never finishes loading all the textures and polygons.

[@DEEDSNOTWORDS]

The guy said they don't believe in concepts, but they made a concept car with the GT Visions program for Gran Turismo Sport.

[@Dizzy473]

"No, no...we were kidding!! It was all a marketing ploy....honest!!" Yeah....and I have some magic beans you can buy. 😂

[@AKATenn]

If I could talk to the designers at jaguar, I'd say you cannot art your way out of fluid dynamics and basic safety standards. If they actually produce these cars, they won't save them.

[@Drixenol86]

The blue one will sell more than the pink one. No one wants to be caught dead driving a pink car.

[@PhilmiiNutsakz]

@@Drixenol86 barbie would, or girls with rich dads or sugar daddy would probly get em to buy em 1. Aslong as they dnt hav 2 buy it. Lol.

[@madman216fpv]

I said it before: these "cars" will be heavily featured in GTA 6.

[@WatchstationYT]

people behind fragrance ads are pretty much behind this presentation of the Jaguar car

[@Trebbut]

@@WatchstationYT they couldn't convince me anything they sell would smell nice either, then

[@combatking0]

Majin Buu looks at this car and says, "Too pink!"

[@Defa_Noob]

I want to go back to 50's car designs because those were actually nice to look at...

[@yeoldeseawitch]

No you don't lol. They may have looked esthetically pleasing but the build quality was absolute shit

[@chandlerburse]

@@Defa_Noob 70s car designs were better

[@jeremysumpter8939]

You watch Disparu...I knew you were based, but now i know know

[@terrystormrunner5116]

Bruh, Gerry McGovern (the presenter guy) looks like that villain dude from the first Anaconda movie 😂

[@NoahGooder]

i cant unsee that now lol

[@Tatenak]

Looks like if Rolls Royce had a brand deal with Barbie and their playhouse playset, except, theyonly used the shorthand concept art, before the aerodynamic tests.

[@Enterstyx]

This thing looks like one of the hot wheels cars you'd get in a race track set, more specifically the shitty one you'd force your younger siblings to use when you raced.

[@NoahGooder]

its also the more boring madcats controllers you would force your younger siblings to use when playing video games.

[@YesterMoon47]

UHHH i just realized that these cars are possibly missing their back windows

[@thechuckjosechannel.2702]

Disparu is the 🐐

[@livin6293]

Paint it black, put some well placed fins on the back, and Boom! You’ve the batmobile from the iconic Batman: The Animated Series. That is the only way I’d ever even consider this car as an option the next time I am looking to upgrade.

[@thatHARVguy]

Jaguar's new car is a BTAS style Rolls Royce.

[@lloydtancred]

Forget the beautiful curves of legendary cars of the past - embrace the dull flat diversity of soon to be historic last Jaguar vehicles ever made.

[@j3fr0uk]

This reminds me of the cars I saw in a book I had about concept cars.. This was back in the 90s lmao...

[@split117]

It honestly just looks like every other concept car we've had for the past 4-5 decades, there's nothing here... Rip to how we all remember the jaaaag

[@vit.budina]

Looks like British car design has finally caught up with British cuisine

[@treacherousjslither6920]

Lol

[@sca88]

Don't know why i think the cat eating rice watching the drama is so funny, i just do.

[@GeoffreyWare]

A Jag is a nice car when you first get it, But after the warranty is up and things start breaking on that car you will not want it anymore... An old girlfriend of mine had a jag And something was going on with The air conditioner and no one in town would touch it... It had to be taken to a special European auto repair in another town and their low estimate was over $5,000 just to fix the air conditioning... Get yourself a Honda

[@Ixorpehc]

This ceremony is the funeral of "British creativity"- words that already sound like comedy gold. 🤣

[@suipsycko]

those 'cars' look like they were designed by someone that forgot to do their homework and were desperately trying to finish it on the bus ride to school...

[@1ChristFollowingNerd]

My friend! Your thinking at 4:12…makes perfect sense. Might even explain the insane amount of prequels, remakes, reimaginings as well.

[@LadyGamerLoon]

Did anyone notice that the cars are basically the trans flag? All these brands going woke and literally Jag going "hold my pint!" . So much for copy no-one. lol

[@fredmonroe6042]

Ah madam your husband is a man of classic taste. Monty Pythons it’s just a flesh wound from Quest for the holy grail.😇

[@phantom_dragon0007]

4:30 The 1980s black leather jacket country bumpkin Jerry wants to start talking about being innovative😂

[@labrat5598]

"reimagining" oh they are trying to reinvent the wheel

[@jeffreysherman8224]

An INTJ designed it. 😂 Wow. You nailed it!

[@Alteori]

😂😂

[@skibidi.G]

Nah no way , INTJ like Porsche

[@skibidi.G]

​@@Alteoridownvotet

[@ZiaAnnouncer]

Monty Python and the Holy Grail!!! 🏆❤❤❤ Sooo many quotables. ❤

[@Nuinwing]

Thats gonna be half a century old next year and it still hits hard.

[@timephire]

6:30 That's what Dogs do, they're lovable jerks. 😁🐶

[@Xlen-omega]

This reveal seems more like a Monty Python skit.

[@NoHandle44]

It's so funny to see GTA 5 footage in an Alteori video. 😅

[@BardofHorror36]

We're starting to migrate into a dystopian era. Lego houses, Kego buildings. Lego drive-thrus and now Lego cars. No wonder people refuse to come out of their houses, it's ugly outside.

[@JanizMakudomaru]

Our ancestors weep at this in humiliation.

[@thetechnocrat4979]

Well, Jags are driven by villains. It is their first choice. So in that case, they have been very successful as they perfectly reflect today's villains.

[@tenacious3911]

I like how he speaks of Jaguar as if it was an independent company and not a subsidiary brand of BLMC when the XJS was designed.

[@GOBLIN_MENACE]

Cyber truck is a death trap

[@XanderZ0ne]

We need to go back to flip up headlight designs. Ferrari F40, Corolla AE86, RX-7, Miata, MR2, 240SX etc. So much more appealing to me

[@jackCollin403]

@@XanderZ0ne don’t forget about corvettes

[@TheNdoki]

Someone pointed out to me that the new name/logo mixes lower and upper case letters, and now I can't unsee it.

[@Toledotourbillion]

Alien comes to earth and sees these concept cars. "Very smart these humans, they have mobile commodes."

[@dezmundtv962]

These designs scream "this was made for people who would buy an enlarged picture of a shoebox and call it art" lmao!

[@ProductionJunction1]

The reason nobody ever used pastel for cars is because in daylight they don’t resonate but rather look dull.

[@FastestMicrowave]

Thank you for making me laugh

[@Alteori]

Welkers

[@laurenrhoads9712]

That rock in the commercial looks better than the real car

[@ab-gail]

Honestly I like these designs. Nothing beats vintage car designs however.

[@salvatore861]

26:30 that was hillarious

[@michaelaurban4120]

You are trying to quote MONTY PYTHON by the way “tis but a scratch!” ABSOLUTE CLASSIC 👍🏻

[@alptigin5438]

This was one of my favorite cars in Top Gear 2497. I liked it almost as much as the Cybertruck in Cruis'n' USA.

[@macklinwright3966]

As the wise words from a old south park episode: “make it lame and gay”

[@mehmetalicodel6712]

İt was a special and it was 1 year ago

[@macklinwright3966]

@ it was? Damn I feel old

[@GRIGGINS1]

It is a Jaguar pretending to be a Tesla that is pretending to be a Kia Soul.

[@ZPaul_]

Alteori talking about cars??? 😮

[@Wade978]

There is no way those cars are even road worthy.... How would the wheels turn in those spaces? Where are the indicator lights? How will those drive through portholes or even go over speed bumps?

[@dappy_na_na_nii3851]

the holy grail Monty python

[@Alteori]

That’s it! I have to rewatch that lol

[@katzumi1560]

calling "british creativity" in itself is kinda already a sign that stuff will go down hilariously bad.

[@Kwolfx]

Jaguar isn’t even a British company. It was sold to a company in India: Tata Motors, 16 years ago years ago. There is almost nothing British about current Jaguar except the guy on the stage. They build most of them in India, China and Brazil, though they still have a factory in the UK.

[@NoahGooder]

@@Kwolfx they probably produce all the parts overseas and have the factory in the Uk assemble the cars.

[@ColinMill1]

So you don't think the British are creative-and are expressing that opinion (badly) in their language using the WWW invented by Brit using electrical power you wouldn't have without Faraday and Maxwell (both Brits).

[@NoahGooder]

@@ColinMill1 those are the brits of the past

[@ColinMill1]

@NoahGooder And the Brits of today bring you 6 of the 10 F1 teams and none of the other 4 have won any championship for 16 years and counting. They also bring you RollsRoyce, Bentley, Aston Martin, and McLaren. That build the gearboxes for Bugatti (cut price versions of the ones they make for F1 that cost more than a couple of Bugattis). And then we get onto the serious stuff like jet engines. No shortage of innovative engineers in the UK - but most of them don't work for Jaguar.

[@Phane02]

They came out... Shove it back in!

[@ZEN_7RZ]

"Look at these jaw dropping proportions..." Buddy, they LOOK like MJ's jaws! With much less detail!

[@AppleFrogTomatoFace]

honestly i don’t like tesla car design, but this is worse. lol

[@Jorzn84]

Hm 1000hp. These cars will put the drags in drag racing.

[@SeaRaven227]

Not going to happen... 1000hp with a 430 miles range? With a car that size and batteries made in India or China? I'm willing to bet if they manage to sell any, the only thing they'll be known for is self-immolating at the slightest bump.

[@dick-vn3yv]

The police speed traps will love that you have a 1,000 hp.

[@1faithchick7]

"Where are it's eyes" is such a hilarious insult lmao

[@Gallant_Tuba_Knight]

7:07 "tis but a scratch!"

[@KuulSHep]

I seriously don't see how one can blow this much smoke up their own ass while keeping a straight as they're pitching snake oil to a high-end crowd of people? True talent.

[@Bob.Roberts]

These cars look like...a fusion between those bikes from the original Tron movie, and a life-sized Hot Wheels concept car that no one collects.