Jake and Amir: Day After Thanksgiving

[@TCrumpet]

Amir, for all of his faults, is a fantastic storyteller

[@ellas8129]

he is, he is

[@spodybanjack8800]

What faults?

[@OurEyesAreYetToOpen]

@@spodybanjack8800 you know he stabbed me once.

[@BarginsGalore]

Paul Fuoco-Binette ONCE

[@MandatoryHandle]

@@slycooper459 Shit, really? I'm sorry

[@ofawe7856]

Just realised amir's dad had him when he was 12.

[@BeefJerkyGirl]

Right!?

[@WendigoPsycho]

+dwsokol No!

[@plokijum]

But he moved

[@nicolasmartinez8472]

First Last His dad frickin moved!

[@khepri3266]

OFAwe Thats not the only weird thing. It is said that his father and mother were having their 42nd anniversary in the same year meaning his father was marriage when he was ~1. Also his father also served in the vietnam war which would only be possible if he was less than 4 years old if you compare the dates.

[@joels4826]

"Hold still or you're a dead. You're an absolute dead" Favourite line

[@ScrapStoriesYT]

Isn’t it dad?

[@Deansanity]

can we all admire this fking 5 min monolgue.... sht why isnt amir in Hollywood

[@aaronklein3480]

its actually a cool story i mean gross but better than others he tells

[@jonnnnniej]

I just now realized he is probably reading of the screen

[@khuntsferguson6747]

Kwstas Nikolaidis because Hollywood RUINS PEOPLE

[@samw3717]

I think it's more of a diatribe at this point

[@hannahmandryk8645]

So Amir's dad is 42, but Amir is 31. That's either a really hidden joke or his family is even more messed up than I thought.

[@BillyBoi911]

This means that Amir's dad was 15 when he was teaching Amir to drive.

[@supremesantos]

Also in the feminist episode, we learn his parents were celebrating their 42nd wedding anniversary

[@ohiasdxfcghbljokasdjhnfvaw4ehr]

i dont think amir knows basic math

[@lechonk_supporter6810]

⁠@@supremesantosI'm not saying incest but like It would explain a lot

[@justme22154]

​@@lechonk_supporter6810 Someone remembered the old-fashioned Blumenfeld Family F***-fest.

[@Dradeeus]

"You're a dead! You're an absolute dead!"

[@leogonzalez5196]

“How the hell did I turn out so normal” LMAO Amir is the best

[@SteinGauslaaStrindhaug]

I just love the rapid changes from funny to sad, to horrible and back to funny.

[@inconsolablepeasant1548]

After the zituation can you guess what his dad did? He freaking moved!

[@nicktaylor6783]

Lol

[@jamatth52]

With spindly little legs?

[@markkittel44]

@@jamatth52 nightmarishly thin.

[@NYStateOfMind986]

i think this might be amir's best story

[@timothysullivan4759]

The breakfast one is actually really funny

[@KhyleTM]

"He hits my zit/boil/lord and saviour" hahah love it, and when Jake leaves to get chips haha

[@calebduarte5255]

Amir’s monologue is fucking hilarious but what keeps getting me is the intermittent cuts to Jake staring into the shakey camera, chewing in dead silence as Amir yells the story at him.

[@Abdullahxvii]

every line in this episode is hall of fame worthy

[@ricardoquadras8698]

Can we please have an animation for this? The mental image hurts too much to bear..

[@wildlydistraughtindividual]

The animation is called "Family Guy" considering they had an episode about this exact thing.

[@arielfeuerstein8635]

Which

[@Hwella555]

Mr. Limekiller which!

[@RebornLegacy]

@@wildlydistraughtindividual I don't remember that at all.

[@wildlydistraughtindividual]

Episode "Brian the bachelor" Chris gets a huge pimple named Doug that starts talking and he "feeds" with grease.

[@thedredmanable]

His dad is 42? So he had him when he was, what... 12? That is not in the least bit surprising.

[@DarkOkamiAlpha]

+FuckingRat on a freakin whim!

[@haydenmacfarlane7194]

It lines up perfectly! When Amir’s dad lost the bet and had to teach Amir how to drive, he was 4 making his dad 16 at the time. The episode was “driving lessons”

[@-comment]

It just isn't the same when Jake doesn't point Amir out on the stuff he says.

[@felynecomrade]

He reminded him of the word "baster" when he couldn't think of it.

[@Pheenixz]

I think that this is, hands down, my favourite J&A. It's so well told, I feel like they should make more of these weird solo spiel episodes.

[@valx5]

of of of of of of this this this this this this *MUCUS.*

[@WhoIsJaiK]

I feel sad for Amir at times...

[@MrGoodbye23]

It was earned

[@emmanuelroy482]

Who else got this ode to Norm Macdonald at 0:51

[@PettyPranks]

I like Jake's Banana computer. Finally Apple has some competition.

[@dave5194]

sup

[@EvilNationPvP]

Do you mean Amir's laptop?

[@user-qs3dc1lg1q]

android is better dan da applez

[@zayasays2106]

littlebitwonky he was correcting it was amir's computer not Jake's

[@cloverfield1131]

Zayasays Someone was too eager to be a douche. He failed.

[@harithal-obaidi5519]

That was probably one of the best of amir's performances

[@NougatCN]

How the hell did I turn out so normal?

[@notacoolkid12]

If Amir is 31 and his dad is 42 then his dad was 11 when he had Amir, which explains most of the stories about how poorly he was raised

[@alexanderj.athanail3817]

I bet after that Thanksgiving Amir's dad frikkin' moved.

[@tev866]

everyone's talking about the banana computer but nobody's talking about jake's chip selfie

[@battlebots1]

Here's some shit I threw together for fun. Just in case you want to bring the old Amir back without a sudden and abrupt change: Amir: Hey Jake Jake: What? Amir: Jake Jake: I said, "What?" Amir: Shut up, I'm trying to tell you a story! You lowly piece of- Jake: I don't want to hear your latest pathetic story about how you experienced lots of pain in a deserving yet depressing way. Amir: That's funny, because my story is actually about an oppressing cray... fish *hold up bloodied hand with crayfish clamped on* Jake: Didn't rhyme, don't want to here your story, and what's with all the rhyming jokes? Amir: You never laugh at my rhyming jokes! And so I was walking in the park yesterday to sit behind my usual bush and watch the joggers with my binoculars, my usual Saturday morning... Jake: That's because they're weird, and not funny; also, yesterday was Tuesday, when you didn't come to work all day. Amir: Well maybe that's because we've stopped hanging out so now I spend all my time at dollar stores buying random pik-taks Jake: Nick-nacks Amir: and I sit on the street and think of things to rhyme them with with the hope of-of creating some of the-the-the lost friendship we had! And I was thinking about some of those rhymes when a particularly attractive rear end found itself in my binoculars and I found myself following it Jake: Creepy, and we never hung out to the point that you would need to fill hours of a day with something - ever. Amir: We used to hang out at your apartment all the time! And so I was following this godlike booty when I ran straight into a tree that I didn't see in my-my-my animal like pursuit and got knock out cold! Jake: YOU hung out in MY apartment all the time, while I wasn't there! And stop telling your story, I don't want to hear it, and it's already pathetic enough. Amir: Well sorry for getting kicked off the property 6 times for trying to break into your room! And so I tumbled down the hill, unconscious, until my body found its way into a creek. Jake: You never even asked me if I wanted to hang out, I could have let you in to prevent you from attempting to break my window at the very least. Amir: Yes, I would love to hang out tonight! And so then hours later I woke up with this guy eating the flesh off of my hand *shakes hand around* Jake: Not what I said, don't want to hang out tonight, and that was actually better than I expected. Amir: There was also one on my dick Jake: Ah! Man! Amir: So tonight is good on my schedule... and tomorrow night... actually all this week - wait, nay, make that this month... Jake: Look, if I go to dinner with you tonight will you stop putting yourself in these situations and stop making the rhyming jokes? Amir: Yesssss every night sou- Jake: Not every night, just tonight Amir: Gorsh darn it okay fine Dinah 2niteeeee? Jake: Yes, just tonight though, ok? Amir: Yeah, just tonight Jake: Ok Amir: *looks up from phone* booked for the month! Like I said, it's shit, but I said I'd write something last video and felt like carrying through with that... also, this allows me to procrastinate studying for finals.

[@Zmunk19]

i agree

[@shariqjamil1426]

Look who's about to get hired. (Seriously that would trump everything they've made at least in the past year.)

[@battlebots1]

Haha thanks guys, but it's really not. Honestly I just sorta wrote some stuff down. There are so many typos (hear*, knocked*) and bad phrasing, it needs heavy editing... Not that it matters, I doubt they'll even read it, I'm just embarrassed of the mistakes and acknowledging the fact that I know the typos are there and I am aware the writing is bad. Just in case any grammar commenters, (whom I have at times been among, so no offense!) wanted to let me know; don't worry, I am aware!

[@highdownhybrid]

battlebots1 The script is great, and it's a really nice contrast to the current style of Jake and Amir. I feel like they kind of over-exaggerated the theme over the last year, and now it's just flat and cartoony.

[@jackboneart]

I've been watching these diva roaches for years and I still consistently make the mistake of eating while watching these videos

[@andrewtweedy1740]

This video is still pretty funny if you also mute it after the flan joke. Amir’s expressions and gesticulations are beautiful to watch.

[@HaydenBarrow]

zit/boil/lord and savior

[@figgledoi]

Ive watched this episode so many times but i just realized that amirs dad just had some kind of noxious base ready in his pocket for a situation like this

[@figgledoi]

Probably bleach

[@carcrashjayson]

He says mace.

[@tiamta]

Thats a phenomenal video chat quality

[@dreaminginnoother]

probably the only reason I'm still subbed to ch.

[@hahman12]

Every Jake and Amir episode is art.

[@cookiedough1019]

i've watched this video probably twenty times and only now am i noticing the sticky note of the banana on the apple logo

[@Booba-Fett]

Amir has a dead pixel. It bothers me so.

[@WendigoPsycho]

He does? Where?

[@LFTravel1437]

Where?

[@Booba-Fett]

On jakes nose.

[@Trepur349]

Amir is 30, so if his dad is 42 what does that mean?

[@Micha9696]

XDDDD

[@Somerandomdude-ev2uh]

Time travel

[@Micha9696]

amir was adopted by his dad when he was 10

[@GrayWoIf]

That was the first thing I thought of. Something just didn't compute

[@kristianhosker8189]

He freaking moved!!

[@williamalvarado235]

Love how they gloss over Amir’s dad being 42 and Amir being like 30

[@BakerbrothertvOfficial]

Is this improvised? Jake & Amir is the greatest show on CH!

[@Jteee1]

Semi improvised

[@GGHAMMERHEAD]

Amir is reading the whole monologue on his computer screen, but the editing showing parts of Jake on screen time to time is made so you can think that Amir is actually improvising/or not reading at all.

[@ThisIsBShaw]

Gab G You're close, but from Amir's Instagram post when this originally came out, it looks like he has an actual script beside his laptop. So, he probably had it at least partially memorized. Oh, and in the reflection in Amir's glasses, it looks like Jake is on the screen the entire time. Which makes sense because they write these together so he was probably adding ideas throughout the shoot. Just a guess, but that's what it looks like to me.

[@darkartsdabbler2407]

Wrong. That would be Troopers.

[@gamingscrub41]

Don't forget Badman either along with Stormtroopers

[@chilldude2239]

How can you describe this as anything else but a burlesque show?!

[@figgledoi]

I think this was the only one i havent seen. Amazing

[@kassygo1375]

nipel ofrobbaz there's always more just gotta look

[@culliusswagner9499]

who needs apple computers, amir has a banamac

[@Carolinelili413]

Canonically, Amir is the biggest failure of the family. Dad- Pediatrician Mom- Registered Nurse Both siblings- Doctors Amir- Unpaid consultant for College Humor

[@charliereczek9690]

It’s called not knowing how to raise your kids

[@ConnorCreed3]

I'll give Amir this, when he's got an agenda, he commits.

[@trdo5366]

is it just me or when amir gets worked up and his voice gets high (eg 3:15) hes a dead ringer for seinfeld

[@legoindy111]

It sounds like Amir said "Nice" in the intro

[@martinbagneris5345]

‘this this this this mucus, this pusy mucusy gravy’ well done sir

[@martijnslegers7523]

My favorite rant of all time. Taupe!

[@LLsunflower]

Here for my yearly pilgrimage

[@officialwonderfacts]

I was literally just paying attention to everything but Amir like Jake was doing

[@altidego989]

Happy thanksgiving!

[@jc_miller]

This is probably one of the funniest episodes ever

[@Pedakin]

How did Amir "March downstairs" when his room is in the basement?

[@jamesmochoa]

Jake walking away had me in tears!

[@jimjones1049]

underrated episode.

[@denzelnoname4775]

And a college humor ad showed before this cant watch one of these without it being an ad or an ad in the begining and sometimes if im unlucky I get a ad and a ad video

[@Darkmatter105]

So if amirs dad is 42 and amir is in his 30s his dad conceived him when he was 12 years old? Guess it shouldn't be surprising at this point.

[@harindrawisnu]

he is reading all the dialog displayed on the screen, and the display scene taken separately

[@turkucelik5103]

CONGRATS

[@lukecnat]

would have been funnier if jake never said anything and at the last second it cut to an over the shoulder of him and his screen and hes watching netflix or something.

[@koolmoekeem3681]

What an amazing performance

[@wombatperson5431]

The writing for this show is amazing.

[@jeanarmin254]

Gotta love Amir's family.

[@ShadowMagnum]

A huge overgrown zit story reminds me of Invader Zims zit episode.

[@LachlanFountain]

i wonder if amir did it in one take

[@lalaicyling8429]

1 take Amir

[@QuarkGluonPlasma]

"This this 42 year old raisin of a prune"

[@zjones9876]

This is Amir's greatest performance.

[@kendall3571]

picking a well set sticker from any surface takes you to another universe

[@asherracies3424]

Lol I love these episodes, defiantly should post more! Cuz they is fuuuuunny!

[@jacobjanz4996]

Replace the "who wants pizza?" line at 4:12 to "did somebody say KFC?" and turn this into a KFC ad PLEASE.

[@henryalberts539]

Amir was 31 when this aired. His father had him when he was 11.

[@clinteastwood1339]

Anyone notice the banana over the Apple logo?

[@smokejc]

+Evan Brown No, you were the only one.

[@ellas8129]

yea

[@StuziCamis]

"BANANA!!" "Wh...? You think I said banana?"

[@Sideeffection]

This is one of my favorite episodes :D

[@graemesherwood8039]

Great video keep up the good work

[@adfssadfdsaf1]

***** gj keyori

[@phil6057]

I've watched this episode like 5 times and never realized Amir's dad is 42 but Amir is 30

[@tylerdurden8371]

I wonder what kind of laptop he has

[@onelusciouslad7841]

Banana

[@chriswave1992]

Why have I never seen this one? It says from 2014, but it seems newer than that? Are there some episodes that were private?

[@botreyger3911]

all about dat mace bout dat mace

[@owen-cu6gr]

No BUBBLE!

[@DANRRAN]

this is one of their best! i laugh every time at 2:01

[@yourralphness]

Holy shit, I haven't watched Jake and Amir in so long that Jake is going bald and Amir is going gray. I see I haven't missed much.

[@narayanvk5010]

YAY new jake and amir.

[@DoctorX17]

I want to see Amir's story animated

[@Arcelux]

Best monologue ever!

[@3790anssi]

Thanks, i like to watch these videos while eating ..

[@sectorcodec]

This was a pretty good one, love the amir stories.

[@rlenclub]

I love Banana Mike-Books

[@valx5]

of of of of of this this this this this

[@HaiRune]

Anyone else had a hard time following Amir's story? Here's what I interpreted: Amir went to his parent's place. There was no food, so Amir and his parents got into a fight. Then him and his dad ran to the door for some reason and his dad fell and passed out. Then Amir revived him, even though his dad wanted some other guy to do it. Afterwards, Amir's zit got big and started talking, causing his dad to jump out the window and onto Amir's room basement. Then Amir's zit grew huge and wanted food, so Amir gave it gravy, causing it to get bigger, Then, Amir's dad came back and laughed at the zit. Then he faked out Amir's high five and slapped it, causing pus to go everywhere. Then, his dad, his mom, and he, passed out.

[@megaman455]

Pretty close. He went to his parents place with a "gumball sized" zit, prompting his dad to go to Amir's room (in the basement) and attempt to lance it with a sharpened toothbrush on the grounds that the zit would make everyone sick and ruin their appetites. Amir said he would need food either way, and he realized his dad was going to just lock him in the basement and leave him there, so they bolt for the door, but his dad is knocked unconscious, Amir concludes he's dead and attempts to give him CPR, but actually makes out with him (deep mouth and mouth, tongue and all) his dad starts kicking and screaming, so Amir tells him to stay still or he's dead. His dad maced him, the zit grew even larger and started to throb, pulse and make noise, at which point his dad lept out the basement window. The rest of it is correct.

[@xXthecrazymeXx]

This stuff is so much funnier when explained by you guys in dry, straightforward terms as opposed to Amir's weird monologue

[@WintersArcher]

I started reading the comments while the video was playing after he mentioned the toothbrush shiv. Lol

[@issac11111]

***** pretty sure his dad was trying to kill him with the toothbrush shiv, amir likes to pretend his dad likes him.

[@richmichael97]

Someone call me when CollegHumor scraps the Jake and Amir stuff and starts doing funny videos again.

[@richmichael97]

I am hardly attention seeking. This Jake and Amir stuff is like all they ever release now, so why not make it a stand alone channel an keep all the other stuff here. They rarely ever release the good CollegeHumor originals anymore, just ads(I have no problem with ads as long as they are funny, which some are) and Jake and Amir.

[@nopelies7337]

He says after clicking on the video and staying long enough to post a shitty comment

[@DevMael]

Michael Rich I think it's just time to move on from college humor like the original funny cast and writers did.

[@jasonpratt6386]

Actually this is the only comical series that CollegeHumor still does IMO.

[@this_too_shaII_pass]

Omg in this one I actually felt really sorry for Amir... Still hilarious though

[@rjkmusicmedia]

was that a How to get Ahead in the World of Advertising reference?

[@arregull]

wow. that's almost 5 minutes of nonstop talking. that's a talent.

[@Russianbot7]

Amir carries this series.

[@kaidenciongoli5780]

Amir said he room was in the basement, but he marches downstairs to the kitchen... literally the inconsistencie that bothered me

[@gayvideos3808]

The kitchen is below the basement

[@paulmag91]

Relatable.

[@crazeeboutmuzic]

BEST MONOLOGUE EVER

[@MrJohnycomelately21]

I feel like Jake every time I watch one of these sketches

[@djmixwell]

Happy post-turkey day everyone!

[@torealreality4207]

Oh man i wonder what brand amirs laptop is

[@slycooper459]

Does Jake’s “nice” in the intro sound like Amir to anyone else?

[@whitejerryrice02]

Ever since Jake's date I can't help but feel sorry for him in every video

[@bremajor824]

"He hits my zit/boil/Lord and saviour" 😂