Reading some more bad Wattpad stories

[@cameronmcindoe6119]

The first story, feels like A: english is not the writer's first language, or B: the writer just put every word through a thesaurus to try and sound smarter.

[@johannageisel5390]

^ This. Or it was originally written in another language and translated by use of a translating program.

[@Mecharnie_Dobbs]

2:39 Written in some country where the bishops in chess are called "Ministers," and then auto-translated to English.

[@marocat4749]

Lost in translation, the sentence sounds decent thought out personally about life and caring. . Its likely not the best buft in lost in tranlation.

[@johannageisel5390]

Oh, about that "lost leg - lost friends" thing: There is a video by Footless Jo about how one of her best friends ghosted her after she lost her lower leg. So, this seems to be a thing.

[@notthis9586]

They only like me for my feet :(

[@RachelAnnPotter]

Ooh, I like that channel. Sucks that people get weird/shitty when people become disabled. It sounds like most people don't know how to handle it and just step back from the friendship, but that still sucks.

[@marocat4749]

I mean it fit youknow your true riends after things get rough, and thats thing getting rough i guess. I didnt know that specific is a thing but it a thing generally. And yeah thats shitt friends but pretty sure having terrible or superficial friends till thats tested is common?! I cant blame jonas for waking up once thats get tested, hell its an entire trope. Usually girls, but its a trope.

[@Duhgel]

@@marocat4749 my brain is melting the more I read your comment, please check your spelling next time 😭

[@supersloth4635]

The first makes me think of my early days on the internet. My English was terrible and online translation had not been invented yet. The English-speaking users bullied me ruthlessly. I even had someone tell me I deserved to die because I didn't know proper English spelling and grammar.

[@johannageisel5390]

Oh, wow, that sucks. :(

[@smolsanastan212]

Aw no that's terrible. You didn't deserve any of that. I hope you're doing much better now 🙏 💕💕💕

[@frostbite_1244]

My apologies

[@marocat4749]

Sorry for that jerks, No one deserves more than friendly mocking , and friendly, not mean, for broken english. No jerks isnt enough , they just sucked.

[@shaemarie2128]

Thank you for sharing this, I’ll think twice before judging people by their spelling. I’ll admit I’ve done that before and hadn’t had the decency to consider that English might not be someone’s native language. I’m glad I read this, I hope it helps enlighten other petty Americans like me. Also I know everyone else already said it, but that’s terribly ignorant and no one deserves to be bullied, at all.

[@danyms4082]

They really made wrote a story abut a "fight club" and named the main character "Tyler". I refuse to believe that it a coincidence

[@johannageisel5390]

So, waking up and preparing for school is a bad way to start your novel. Noted. What about waking up from being freeze-dried and preparing to make first contact with an alien species?

[@PriyaPans]

I would read the latter 100%

[@johannageisel5390]

@@PriyaPans If you wait a few years, you might. ^ ^ Sadly, I'm still missing parts of the plot. (Btw. the 'alien species' is actually humankind. The person who's been freeze-dried is a member of one of the 28 species that make up the galactic community at that point. They are naturally long-lived and have being freeze-dried and thaw-hydrated as part of their yearly life cycle, so this particular species does most of the contact flights because they can be put into stasis so easily.)

[@PriyaPans]

@@johannageisel5390 ooooh, good luck and keep at it! My science brain is all like.... Well....osmotic pressure challenges will be fun. Hope you figure it out, that sounds truly unique!

[@johannageisel5390]

@@PriyaPans Uhm, I don't got into those details. ^ ^ I just say that they have evolutionary adaptations to that, due to the environment they originate from. The mechanism is something along the lines of: They shed their exoskeleton, and open their tracheal system and then let all the water evaporate as the temperatures fall in autumn. All lifeforms of this planet have the ability to take a state in which they can dessicate and freeze. It's something the early single celled organisms came up with and it has been retained by the multicellular organisms. They had to, because the planet has a rather excentric orbit. The story is only semi-hard sci-fi, meant to look kind of plausible if you don't think about the nitty-gritty.

[@PriyaPans]

@@johannageisel5390 I think that's super fascinating and so unique! Good luck! Also I only mentioned the osmotic pressure BC I'm a science nerd. I get not going into it. I wish you all the luck finishing your book, I look forward to reading it when it's done!

[@Mecharnie_Dobbs]

43:56 Someone: "I'm afraid of the dark." James: "You're afraid of the dark what?"

[@tathoiclassicalindianbollywood]

Okay the first one is fanfiction for an Indian daily soap called Iss Pyar Ko Kya Naam Doo (What should I name this love - literally!) It was a really popular enemies to lovers (more like opposites to lovers) story with a sweet bubbly (manic pixie) girl - Khushi , and a broody, angry Christian Grey type businessman (Arnab Singh Raizada - ASR) - minus the fifty shades part. Initially he is a bit abusive (there is a scene quite early on where she accidentally messes up his fashion show, and he rips the back string thingy of her dress, which I think is a super messed up start to any relationship - love or hate). But then it's also family friendly so Khushi ends up working for him, and becomes all chummy with his family, and Khushi's sister ends up marrying his brother, so they get to spend more time together at all the family events. Even his fiance leaves because she realises these two are made for each other. And there's a whole subplot where his sister's husband (so brother-in-law) almost marries Khushi by catfishing her in real life. This video kind of sums up the story very well: kzbin.info/www/bejne/l5mWh6ivra13gpo It was such a popular show that it ended up being dubbed in a range of languages including Turkish (don't ask how I know) and also after it eventually ended after like 500 episodes, there were 2 further seasons. The second season had a different couple, and the third had the same male lead as season 1 (ASR - but with a new first name starting with A) and a different female lead. The actress got a barrage of abuse from die-hard fans of season 1 couple and the third season, despite a strong story, got cancelled pretty soon. So yeah, Fanfictions are a very common thing for this show, as fans still want a reunion with the original couple - they are the ones in the cover, btw.

[@Methus3lah]

Trapped in a Island with James Tullos?

[@thechroniclegamer4285]

That’d be fun

[@longlivethesheet4561]

Why not Trapped in James Tullos on an Island?

[@StreetofCrocodiles]

He'd be trapped with me

[@nunyabusiness776]

i’d bring all the sarah j mass books for him

[@axeldenault1165]

Hey don't spoil I am not done writing it.

[@jlinus7251]

I swear it's all the religiously and sexually repressed children who make these stories. It's kinda sad ngl that they have no other way to express themselves

[@nicoledoubleyou]

That's weird cuz it's the not repressed kids that are always the most deviant and sexual, in my experience. The ones with unfettered access to tv and the Internet have the most deviant sexual stories and fanfiction

[@rubythebitch46]

I think it's a mix; some of the kids writing this shit are way too restricted and some of them have way too much online freedom

[@mittag983]

I had wayyyyy too much freedom as a child and I also wrote that sh*t I honestly think it could be a problem of both

[@LawrenceofCanadia]

​@nicoledoubleyou completely disagree lol. My repression was like a pressure cooker for developing wild sexual fantasies lol.

[@Mecharnie_Dobbs]

44:07 There were Mafia stories on Wattpad before "365 days." Almost as many as there were werewolf stories.

[@NyssasOrbit]

I mean, for a lot of kids/people stuck in their high school years, getting up and getting ready for school/going to school is literally almost their whole life. For a lot of them, they're probably just writing what they're comfortable with

[@nicoledoubleyou]

Like he says, they can just start with writing at some other point in the day. The problem is not that they are writing about getting ready, that's fine. The problem is that they are starting their book with the start of a day, basically.

[@chickenpermission4705]

As a person who grew up Christian, the way you read Malachi (Mah-la-kai) absolutely killed me. Great video 👍

[@KateeAngel]

You mean fundamentalist Christian, cause most of moderate Christians I know don't know about it

[@yaho5785]

@@KateeAngel Nah lol. I was raised by progressive Catholics and I know about it

[@junjunjamore7735]

@@KateeAngel But it's a relatively common Jewish name.

[@chickenpermission4705]

@Kate S Nah, I was Russian Orthodox. It just has a more heavy old testament lean than most other denominations (cause nothing that interesting has happened to us since we split from the Catholics in 1000 AD)

[@tompatterson1548]

pretty sure it's pronounced with ch as in loch.

[@TheFloffy]

Comedy/romantic TV shows and films aimed at teenagers will often open on the "getting ready for school" it sets the mood and gives background wile you can still run titles and names over the screen.

[@catfan913]

scene setting is much faster and easier in film and you can do other things like establish character at the same time. in a book it's just annoying. you have to slog though every word of description for a mundane action generally containing no surprises. it's for the purpose of describing the mc and some of their personality but you could do that so many other ways which would offer some novelty

[@alkaliburn]

The Holy Trinity: Bethany Church, Molly Pills, and Waverly Fishwater

[@johannageisel5390]

What about Dick Hotman?

[@nicole7884]

Werewolf stories on wattpad I swear has two plots. Werewolf Cinderella is tortured till she meets her mate who makes her uber powerful she gets revenge. Or Werewolf Mary-Sue is rejected by her mate runs away becomes uberpowerful and then gets her mate back when he realises how powerful she is. Still confused about the whole Luna moon goddess law. But there you go

[@chickenpermission4705]

Not usually one to double comment but chemotherapy is actually used for certain autoimmune diseases like Lupus and Arthritis as it can be a way of slowing down immune systems that are out of control

[@chaotic.content]

I know I'm a year late, but this comment should have more upvotes. the fact that James hasn't addressed that he was wrong about this is kinda bothering me

[@notyourking381]

Chemo is definitely used on autoimmune disorders all the time through it is generally an off label thing. Similar drugs are used after transplants too. Autoimmune issue is an autoimmune issue and cancer is part of that

[@dorothygilley3194]

I’ve been making an intentionally bad fanfic between Danny Devito and The Onceler. The first few chapters are misspelled and grammatically atrocious, but the latter chapters are written better and more satyrical than before. My husband helps me and writes parts when we just wanna goof off :3 It’s called “Pregnant! Danny Devito x The Onceler” by itsjustFEy for anyone interested

[@mariazapata1606]

This give the same energy of that youtuber use mr crab x kpop member art for the topic of shipping

[@Pvale777]

Has ":3" ever been used in a non-threatening context?

[@Max_Le_Groom]

@@Pvale777 Is this meant to be taken out of context in some way?

[@jinxtheunluckypony]

I appreciate that you took the time to praise authors for finishing their stories.

[@MaladaptiveMischief]

"give it to me pop!" im absolutely cracking up jfc this sent me

[@skinnyferret]

Chemo is actually used for auto immune diseases in certain cases, it runs in my family, I have Hashimotos myself, and have known two people with Lupus who have definitely needed chemotherapy at different times in order to control their immune system attacking their own body.

[@henrywong7607]

29:36 Holy crap I know that image! I made a lyric video for a band that used that image for their album cover, and I based my animation off of it. The song is called Disguise and the band is called The Slang if you're curious.

[@nicholasszabo5954]

How this man pronounced Malachi had me rolling

[@flameloude]

The first story blurb broke me so fast. I think you were like three sentences in when i stop to take a break.

[@HollyShmit]

Wow, nostalgia. Remember being on the first list lol. I still love and watch your channel.

[@someguy9893]

The fighting ring one feels vaguely like someone watched the first half of Fight Club in a fugue state and then tried to write fanfic about it

[@izunahosaki6133]

Heeeeeeey don't blame the ladies for making daddy sexual, guys totally overuse it too

[@Awesome_Nova]

The first few sentences of the first Wattpad fic is the author saying that they didn't go to college without saying that they didn't go to college

[@bloop6111]

“Start calling him ‘pop’” got me xD

[@howdyhowdyhelga]

every time i watch one of these i silently pray you aren't reading one of my old stories. those should not see the light of day.

[@Mecharnie_Dobbs]

You can unpublish things from Wattpad. But maybe you actually like the risk of James finding them.

[@howdyhowdyhelga]

@@Mecharnie_Dobbs i would, but i lost access to the account years ago.

[@Anyratac]

6:45 Alight then. **starts story with funeral scene where the best friend of the corpse laughs at the priest**

[@nottherealpaulsmith]

17:36 those moon runes mean someone tried to put a fancy border around the title using unicode characters and didn't save the file correctly

[@Mario_Angel_Medina]

Am I the only one who thinks the author of the first one wrote the novel on their native lenguage, copypasted it into Google translate, and make no change afterwards before uploading it to Wattpad?

[@aeddiefarmer]

I think that's likely. My ex used to do that with his teen poetry, only it was from English to Icelandic, and then post the Icelandic version on allpoetry. He was an Icelandaboo I guess. I bet it was very funny to read if you actually spoke Icelandic!

[@silvermoon3901]

About the bullying one, peoples non reaction is sadly quite normal although the girl wouldnt have been hitting her, she would have baited her into attacking to get her expelled. And yes from reader experience it can get much worse, even if it starts with a beat down...looking at you rejected mate bl.

[@cadencenavigator958]

Yeah, real people fiction is honestly creepy as heck.

[@cristhianjimenez2496]

I love these because they’re funny. At the same time tho, I’m terrified to think I could end up on one of these 🤣

[@nevereverr]

So glad that I never had a Wattpad phase, bc I could never HANDLE the shame from showing up on one of these videos

[@DeadPressed4444]

Imagine if Brandon Sanderson reacts to the Mormon one

[@notthis9586]

We don't know for certain that he wasn't the one who wrote it...

[@JamesM1994]

@@notthis9586 No, that one was definitely written by Card.

[@shaemarie2128]

MALACHI. lmao, made my day bro 😆 Also appreciate your mature attitude towards these stories, the way you make fun of them but maintain a constructive air is pretty wholesome imo

[@mattd5240]

I write my stories on Wattpad because it's simple and easy, also you can post images and music/ videos

[@milicadiy]

Me too.

[@habeashumor9814]

Best part of the vid is your pronunciation of Malachi 😹😹😹

[@Faith-Trust-Pixie-Dust]

Wattpad posts classics to try to get the teens to read them

[@pipsqeak7104]

Love these bad wattpad videos! Its very fun to fall asleep to 😴

[@CelticGuardian7]

Getting a good opening line is really difficult, but it feels like anyone going the "I got ready for school" route wasn't even trying.

[@EpicBlakMan33]

After The Wait It's Here!

[@flanichi]

did not expect a camila and lauren fanfic to be in this video i did not need to remember that

[@gumbusmcbumbus2087]

Hey just wanted to leave a comment despite it being a year old video but during the Starcrossed But Wattpad story, there’s the detail of the MC being treated with chemo for an auto-immune disorder. Fun fact for anyone who reads this, speaking from personal experience, chemo actually does have use in auto-immune disorder treatment. I used to be treated with an admittedly very minor level of it, but it was still chemotherapy (methotrexate in a small dose). Because it’s an immunosuppressant it can counter act the effects of disorders that cause the immune system to attack itself. Despite that little critique, really great video

[@fourtruths3324]

This is exactly what I need after work

[@u3u_o3o]

I'd paid to hear this man drag my stories

[@Kimiya]

yaay I love this 'series' of you, glad you decided to revisit wattpad!

[@strategicgamingwithaacorns2874]

H. G. Wells's _The Time Machine_ is on Project Gutenberg, and it it's on Project Gutenberg its copyright has long since expired and its in the Public Domain.

[@maddiedoesntkno]

Chemo IS for autoimmune diseases, m8. Autoimmune diseases are caused by an over aggressive immune system attacking healthy parts of the body (even killing them). Treatment for severe autoimmune conditions is killing the immune conditions-chemotherapy, IV immunoglobulins (donated immune cells that suppress your inflammatory immune cells), and plasmapheresis (getting hooked up to a big machine that sucks your blood out a bit at a time, spins the plasma out, which contains your white blood cells-the immune part-and replacing them with someone else’s plasma. Like all of your own plasma is gone, so you get a whole new immune system)

[@phantom_of_romance1945]

not gonna lie if he finds and of my ongoing series, on wattpad, I do be kinda interested to at least hear his thoughts on it so far. Just started tho lmao

[@phantom_of_romance1945]

@James Tullos if you end up curious the ones I'm currently working on are 'The Man in the Forest' and 'Epidemic Series Book One: The Experiment' I just want to see how you frag my story through the mud, or just your thoughts on it. I am an amateur author so I'm willing to take pointers from the reader's pov

[@marl3ymarl3y86]

I can’t wait for most of these comments to be about James not knowing the pronunciation of the name Malachi

[@NoscoperLoaf]

You should review loud house revamped its a loud house fan fiction with 8,790,688 words

[@Djinn_Entonic]

Rookie numbers, have you heard about the ao3 cultivation danmei fanfic which is one of the longest pieces of literature on the English language

[@NoscoperLoaf]

@@Djinn_Entonic Well the loud house revamped fan fiction now has 16,777,215 words which is not the true number as the website the fan fiction is located on broke so the number is closer to more than 20 million words

[@nagi9004]

"give it to me pop" lmao

[@TobeyFairre7861]

It is now my goal to write the worst book of all time so that James reviews it

[@jojogodtier]

"Give it to me pop" -James

[@BleachBasket108]

Give it to me, pop 😂😂

[@jlinus7251]

I mean kudos to the first one. It must be hell writing in a language you're not proficient in

[@oddjam]

This is fascinating tbh

[@flameloude]

2:21 you made it farther than me

[@anomaliecosmos]

"Okay first, you're not in the mood to look at a bright screen, and then you immediately look at a bright screen-" "...I don't want to use the word 'obnoxious', but it's really obnoxious." (I promise this isn't a genuine nitpick, it just reads like dialogue from a (slightly) more clever story than the one you're analyzing)

[@marinaserina2658]

I remember the first vid! It feels like bad wattpad stories have changed and i feel old lol

[@cpasr8065]

Yay, another vid!

[@Nocny_Informator]

44:10 Her name is Blanka Lipińska, and I can't agree more

[@sapphodera]

Are you sure the name isn’t pronounced mal-uh-kai?

[@Mecharnie_Dobbs]

40:22 When I hear the name Tyler, I either think of "The Turbulent Term of Tyke Tyler©," or of my O.C. Who is made of bronzeish brown TILES that she can rearrange from a humanoid in fish-scale type chain mail armor into an actual fish or lizard or pangolin or armadillo or snake or geometric shape, based around cuboids. Her rule 63 is called Slater, and he is basically the same but slightly more grey in color and is named after a character in "Last Action Hero." Those are the only two possible names for those characters, so they had to decide which name is more masculine and which is more feminine.

[@mizzzlicia1832]

**give it to me POP!**

[@littleeusbee]

Hey, I'll have you know that 80 is peak hoodie temperature

[@jamesfrederick.]

My life is no joke like P hubbed the book lol it’s actually happened lol

[@milestrombley1466]

I wrote some stuff on Wattpad and I always start an actionn scene. 😁

[@DragobAttack]

Das erste klingt sehr stark google übersetzt

[@JamesTullos]

Entweder Google Übersetzer oder ein Schlaganfall.

[@johannageisel5390]

@@JamesTullos Hast du das mit Google Übersetzer übersetzt oder sprichst du Deutsch?

[@JamesTullos]

@@johannageisel5390 Ich spreche etwas Deutsch, aber nicht viel.

[@obsessivecorvid]

May I suggest you review Arveliot's Everburning City series, I think it's of the better of novels on Wattpad

[@lavenderlylin]

Tyler was named after The Darkness, Rebecca Bunch’s boyfriend

[@LiterallyMarieee]

NOT THE CAMREN NOOOOO

[@samantaluna3870]

Would you be willing to read someone's Wattpad book if its recommended to you? My novels are mediocre but I'm willing to sacrifice them for entertaiment and to learn about storytelling. 🤗

[@milicadiy]

As a fellow Wattpad novelist, that would be nice.

[@samantaluna3870]

@@milicadiy 😬

[@milicadiy]

@@samantaluna3870 ?

[@Mecharnie_Dobbs]

James has said in the past that when he reviews a book by a less well-known author, he gets fewer clicks, and then the algorithm puts him in fewer 🏠scroll ups, and then he gets paid less. Wattpad is a well known name.

[@samantaluna3870]

@@Mecharnie_Dobbs My novels are on Wattpad. I meant it as part of the Wattpad books he checks out.

[@ashbaybear]

Fictionpress link is not working 🥺

[@JamesTullos]

It seems to be working now.

[@kousetsuhana]

giving 404 for me right now

[@mrinmayeebhoot3324]

Where did you get the t-shirt? I need it! 😭

[@farfrompleasant]

Yessss I’m here early 😭

[@danielbroome5690]

I think what that scifi story was TRYING to say was "Is he the rock she can KLINGON to." Also, I'm curious to see if the alien "Zionians" are jewish-coded lol sounds like something Crowder or someone would put into a right-wing book.

[@starmoalitiny]

10:15 LOL😂

[@dioiral]

MuhLatchi

[@oddcrafter1270]

M'latchi.

[@_decaysea]

11:29 Malachi is pronounced maləˌkī, like malachite.

[@akaczism]

is nobody going to mention the story where the extraterrestrials are called 'zion aliens' or have all the comment about it been deleted by youtube

[@marocat4749]

From people that did focus why teenage girls , notonly thembuut primary writing about gay slash fiction. And hy that has th romance gender roles baggage, its an easy outlet to see yourself in the feminine coded but be distant enough to eplore sexuality safe. I am pretty sure thats why that i suppose mormon teenage girls ,or hell women, , or if direct boy,or men, or whatever. I just thought how great religious sex ed is, i cant guess age at all. Nor do i judge. While it certainly is fetishizing gay people, there is a reason why slash fiction is used as safe exploration off their sexuality. If that mormon whatever did that, its way less weird. It could be a mormon hovr trying to come on terms with whateve seuality using the slash tamplate. Or comparable, its probably like lesbians as fiction but more to explore , .. its really not that weird.

[@ovenram]

YESSSSS

[@Faith-Trust-Pixie-Dust]

The Mormon one is a little wack, I say as a member of the same church lol. And I get not saying the full name, the reason why we prefer to not anymore is because it was a derogatory term applied to us that we claimed for a long time but it is misleading as to what we believe so we're trying to distance ourselves from it.

[@noctuabird]

Check ao3 next

[@nottheh3ro734]

The words, they hurt me. Make it stop.

[@randomreader2696]

Wait, people still use Wattpad???

[@Mecharnie_Dobbs]

40:22 How are authors supposed to know what any character name they use, is going to make James think of?

[@Mecharnie_Dobbs]

What does the name 'Tasha make you think of?

[@Mecharnie_Dobbs]

What does the name Milly make you think of?

[@Mecharnie_Dobbs]

What does the last name Tintagel make you think of?

[@Mecharnie_Dobbs]

What does the name Shaniqua make you think of?

[@Mecharnie_Dobbs]

What does the name Aynsley Steele make you think of?

[@marocat4749]

Ok the bullying and too much, if its too over the top without a ceartain groundedness and if its fewr or less dramatic but psychologic deeper cutting established pattern. And People do care if things are ove the top uually, more gradual but really hitting while its believabl the police woulsn be straight up called. Its hard to take serious if its too over the top instead showing th psychological impact inside and repeated intense cuts. A very bad example is 13 reasons why, like any dunking vieo can call out how its impossible totake serious because even th premise is so ove the top, its not very relatable . And it just gets worse, and th fact that a person gets away with being smammed repeated that hard and then seems ok, an i not traight in a hospital and thats just "bullying" when its literally a violent crime. Thats just cartoon violence. Not real world violence , its disconnecting. No police even or investigation or hospital immeatedly. And it gets worse. Becaue adults do care if a perso is that badly sevrly hurt. or is that cartoonish The sad thing is bullying is lowkey enough to get away with it. Its really bette rto ocus on the impect and systemic abuse and harm regular under the line or social inways, than having ove the top violent bullies. Its possile topaint bullies as that bad without them being over the top, but their impact on a person and what they did systematic. More like a psychological thriller from the persons perspective than a slasher.

[@annafrank-v9b]

7

[@NotoriousLightning]

Uninspired. Why don't you actually read something, the way you used to when you made these videos, Jimmy James?